The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time
by Zauz
Summary: A novelisation of a classic childhood game. Rated T for violence, but no profanity of any kind. This book will stick to the main story while also adding in some original content.
1. Prologue: All Wood And Leaves

_**{PROLOGUE}**_

* * *

War is a terrible thing, isn't it?

Lots of good men, sent off to do all the dying, while the self-proclaimed generals never hear a single crossbow bolt whistle past their ears, safe and nestled fifty miles away from all the carnage unfolding further on.

Well…

 **CRASH! BOOM!**

 **Clippa-cloppa-clippa-cloppa-clippa-cloppa…**

On her husband's command, a cloaked woman zoomed through the stormy fields of Hyrule, flaming arrows screaming after her, as was her husband.

"The Great Deku Tree! The Great Deku Tree! Remember! The forest and the Great Deku Tree!"

Finally, his wife vanished from his eyes. The enemy was circling him fast. Several soldiers wielding spears, shields, claymores, certain death.

"Right, you lot of traitors, taste the wrath of my blades!" shouted the man in the middle as his wife galloped off over the hills. Reaching behind him, he scratched two swords out of their sheaths, dual wielding them at the closing enemy soldiers. They growled and snarled like inhumane beasts as they charged at the wounded, dual-wielding man.

Even though he had two weapons, that wasn't enough. 23 spears, 21 shields and 17 claymores are better than two swords.

Within seconds, the horde stampeded through the battlefield, the man they fought now in a heap on the floor. He was now pincushioned by spears of red and silver. Even moving was a great chore for him.

"Link… I apologise… Please forgive me..." he muttered as the war raged on. His vision was swirling as he tried to remove his sharp chains binding him to the floor.

Not looking back, the horsewoman made a charge through a set of double trees and into the forest.

The Kokiri Forest.

The only place that had snaked around the deadly war.

Why?

Any outsider who went into the forest would die and turn into a plant in the process.

It was a big risk, but the woman was in critical condition. She was going to die soon anyway, so this risk was bound to pay off. All of her bones felt like they were about to snap in half. Her heart was erratically missing beats. Her throat lacked moisture of any kind. Her skin was turning pale. She was hearing voices in her head.

" _ **Enter the forest."**_

 _ **"Do it."**_

" _ **Yeah. No one will notice!"**_

Why did she need to go into the forest?

She was carrying another life with her.

A weak baby, wrapped up in a white bundle of towels.

Everything was silent. Eerily silent. To think that this baby would be living here, at best, for the rest of his life.

The lady uneasily stood up, shielding her baby against her. All her muscles felt like they were about to burst like balloons. When the child began to whimper, mum simply whispered comforts to him.

"Shh, shh, everything's all right. Everything's all right… Everything's… all right."

The lady gasped her way through the forest. Still no sign of life. Who was he going to live with?

The sounds of rustling caught her attentions. As she limped through the undergrowth, boys and girls in green rose from the vegetation. They had pointy ears, just like the baby's mother. Some wore green, floppy hats. These characteristics made them resemble elves.

"Who's that woman?" whispered one of the kids.

"I would answer you if I knew!" replied another.

One kid with ginger hair and a frown that appeared to be burned into his face crossed his arms and grunted a little. "Huh. Looks like a right old nutter!"

Not one person responded to this remark. In fact, they seemed slightly afraid of calling out the rude boy. The mother walked forward, around a little pond and through a tunnel that led through a rock wall.

The road to the Great Deku Tree.

Finally, the woman crashed into a heap on the floor in front of a great big oak tree. This was not like any other tree you would see on a walk through the woods. This was one colossus and a half. This was not its most distinct feature, though.

Its distinct feature was that… it had a face. Two giant bits of dark wood that formed eyebrows, a large part of the tree stuck outward for a nose and two more darker bits of wood formed a moustache. The giant plant seemed to lack eyes, as they were covered by its brows.

"Great… Deku Tree… I beseech you!" croaked the woman as her son dragged himself out of his towels, laughing with dissonant serenity. "My son… Please take him in."

The tree ahead of her stayed silent. Was her husband wrong about the Great Deku Tree?

"Do my pleas fall on deaf ears?" wept the woman. "Please, take my son in!"

There was another long pause by the tree. Maybe this was just a tree with a face carved into it by the children of the forest. Maybe their imagination led to them saying that it was alive. Maybe that was what that traveller overheard and told everyone.

" **I seeth the promiseth in the one thee ha** **s't** **bought me.** "

It was all true. No overactive imaginations, the tree was really alive!

"Y-you do?" breathed the beaten mother.

" **Thy son hath an important role in this forest in the future not so far hence. For yond, I shalt grant him shelter.** "

As the tree spoke, a slab of wood moved up and down as if it were a mouth in motion. Cobwebs and loose bark broke apart as it slid up and down, so this tree had clearly not spoken in a long time.

"Tell me, your highness, will he be able to live here?" asked the woman. "I have heard what happens to outsiders who enter this forest."

The tree spoke once more. " **He is anon one of us. He is exempt from the beshrew.** "

"Thank you… Great Deku Tree."

The broken mother left her son at the base of the talking tree, crawling away with all the strength she could muster. Blood was dripping to the floor from several cuts in her body. Even moving was now a tremendous effort. Her son tried to follow her, but he was not yet developed enough to even crawl. Instead, he lay there and wailed and wailed and wailed.

As his mother tried to make her escape, her movements became more stiff. More and more wooden. It became tougher and tougher to move.

Finally, she was all wood and leaves.


	2. Happy Anniversary

The children of the forest, the Kokiri.

They were a race that never grew up, birthed by the Great Deku Tree. Once they reached age ten, they would stop physically ageing. They forever had the maturity of children. They played around in their forest all day, all their lives. Not once were they expected or pressured to get a job or study for an upcoming test.

The lucky lot of them!

All of the kids had a guardian fairy, who flittered around them and kept them company. Each of them was a different colour. Each of them was of a different personality. Each of them appeared as a ball of light the size of a tennis ball with a pair of insectoid wings on the back, their real shapes obscured behind their glow.

However, there was one boy who had no such luck.

The so-called outsider, Link.

The once defenceless infant had grown up into a ten-year-old, fair-haired boy in a green tunic, a green floppy hat and a pair of wrinkly boots. It had been a decade since he had been taken in by the forest. He was alone. No fairy, no friends, no nothing.

No, he did have one friend. A girl named Saria. She had pretty much raised Link since he arrived in the forest. She taught him how to walk, she taught him English, she taught him some basic maths and even a bit of history. This history was about a place called Earth. This is where the English language originated.

Aside from this one person who cared, everyone else avoided him like they avoided growing up.

Alone as usual, Link scooped up a pile of corn from a food bin and scattered it across his floor for his cucco, a Hyrulean chicken.

The next day was his "Anniversary Day". The Kokiri had no idea when his birthday was, since he was not born in the forest. For that reason, Saria suggested that they hold a special day for him on the date of his arrival in the forest. It was met with mixed reviews, some saying that it was a good idea, others saying that it was the least they could do and the rest saying it was a terrible idea. Strangely, they never gave any reasoning of why they didn't like it.

Link stared out of the window of his treehouse at the foggy, night sky. While everyone else set up shop in regular houses on the ground, Link, feeling like he wasn't one of them, went differently and built his house eight feet up in the air in a tree. Once again, everyone had used this as an excuse to ridicule him but Saria supported him all the way, even helping construct it, building a balcony while Link hollowed out part of the inside of the tree. He didn't even have a balcony on his list of plans for his house but he quickly adapted by building a ladder that went down from the balcony and to the floor.

As his cucco pecked at the food that had been freshly scattered over the floor, Link frowned a little.

Not out of loneliness, but because of one person.

Can you guess who?

Yes, it was that muppet who had called his mother a nutter all those years ago. Mido.

While the other members of the Kokiri didn't mind Link too much, Mido loathed this "Billy No-Mates". The other kids would ignore Link at most, but Mido was awful to him. For just a few examples, Mido would:

\- Release a big spider into his treehouse at night.

\- Cut a hole in the floor of his treehouse under the rug next to his bed so when he got up, he would go crashing to the ground below.

\- Shove him in the pond when his back was turned feeding the ducks.

\- Put Laxat berries in with his cucco's corn so that after feeding time, there would be one massive mess to clean up afterwards. Harmless, but deadly.

\- Rub stinging nettles on the inside of his tunics at night so he would spend the entire next day itching.

\- Sling yoghurt at him from a tree so he thought that a bird had gone haywire.

\- Slam his window hatch shut at night to wake him up with a jolt.

\- During snowball fights in the winter, cover cricket balls in snow and target him.

Despite all of this, Link would mostly always act kind to Mido. However, resentment built up quickly and he would relieve it at night.

"Blummin' Mido..." mumbled the boy as he sat down on his wooden bed. "He does not deserve to have a name that rhymes with 'meadow'. Meadows are nice and peaceful. He's the exact opposite. I can only imagine what he'll do to sabotage tomorrow for me..."

Something else that would happen with this clown is that on nearly every single anniversary of Link's, Mido would do something that would leave Link with less than half the attention. Over the last few years, Mido had:

\- Slathered mozidva berry juice around the forest, resulting in an infestation of woodland animals.

\- Swapped the sheet music for the forest musicians, causing them to play an incoherent jumble of notes.

\- Spiked all the party food with supaisu berry juice, turning everyone into combat flamethrowers.

\- Sneaked a snake into Link's tunic, resulting in him almost passing out upon noticing it.

\- Slung a stone at one of the musicians that was playing. The fiddle thought it was the saxophonist and a full-on fight broke out, with bows being fired out of violins, horns being blasted in ears, cymbals being tossed at faces, all that.

All pretty low things to do on such a momentous occasion.

That's all he thought about for a long while. He got up and shuffled around his abode agitatedly. His cucco stayed on the table watching her owner pace around, who was now twitching with annoyance. Finally, Link stopped to look at his thin duvet.

The cheap sheet was caked in dust. " _No wonder I've been sneezing at night so often!"_ thought Link as he sauntered over. He slid his finger in a straight line up the cover to gather some dust. "This could really do with a clean-up."

He was about to pick up the sheet and shake it silly, but then he noticed the straight line that he'd drawn. "All right, I should have a little fun first!" he chuckled. Using some rocks to stop the duvet moving about, Link drew some more lines on the sheet. A curved, horizontal line on the bottom that joined to the first, a vertical line parallel to his first on the other side of the curved line, a short circle to give the illusion of a 3D image, some straight lines that were all in the middle of the circle, some teardrop shapes atop the ten lines and finally, another curved line to separate the two halves.

Can you guess what it is yet?

"A nice cake with lit candles..." thought Link as he glanced at his homemade clock on the wall. The thing was made out of tree parts. A disc from a rather thin tree for the circle and two twigs from the forest floor for the hands. A bunch of bands and more wood later and it was fully functional. It had no numbers, but Link had learned how to read a clock thanks to Saria.

 **CLICK!**

With a loud noise, the two hands jumped up north.

It was midnight. His anniversary of arrival.

"Happy anniversary, Link." said Link with a little smile. With a puff of air, he blew at the candles on his drawing of a cake. Not only did they disappear, but almost all of the dust on the duvet shot into the air and spun like snowflakes. Coughing and gasping from the dust, Link turned to get outside to fresh air.

 **CLANG!**

Not watching where he was going, he stepped straight into a metal bucket that he planned to use for storage.

"Oh, flip!" wheezed the boy as he wobbled to the table with his foot stuck in the bucket. With a gasp of anticipation, Link tripped over the table. His cucco squawked and flapped away from her falling owner as he crashed over the table she was standing on.

 **SPLAT!**

The impact shook a white jug, tipping it over and drenching Link in goat milk.

"Oh, badgers on a bike!" shouted Link as he hauled himself up. Grasping both ends of the bucket, he hopped up and down and pushed with all his might to try and dislodge the bucket-turned-bear-trap. In doing this, he veered backwards and stepped straight into another bucket.

" **OH, MY GIDDY AUNT!** "

Looking like a rather strange trendsetter, he clattered outside to his balcony, breathing in the fresh air. Calming himself, he shook one foot free from its bucket.

"Phew! We're getting somewhere!" panted the boy as he composed himself once more, grasped the other bucket and heaved with all his might, twisting his other foot as he did so. This worked rather well and within ten seconds, the bucket squealed off.

"At last!"

Link stared off into the foggy forest. It was his anniversary today. How would it be sunk this time?

 **Whooosh…**

What?

No. Nothing was there. It was the middle of the night. No way would there have been someone else up at this hour.

 **Shf, shf, shf, shf, shf, shf, shf.**

Footsteps?

"Who's there?" called Link through the thick mist as the footsteps got closer and closer.

"Link?"

 **KRRRT!**

With a striking noise, a match was lit and guided to a lantern. When the oil ignited, the figure's face was revealed.

She was a girl with emerald-coloured hair and blue, twinkling eyes.

It was Saria.

"Oh, it's just you, Saria! Thank goodness! I thought there was a robber among us! What brings you here at this hour?" called Link down from his balcony. Saria simply smiled back up at him.

"We've all got something to show you over at the Woods of Spirits! Come on! Lets go!"

"All of you?"

"Yes, everyone! Now, follow me!"

With that, Saria turned and ran back into the forest, the little fire fading into the trees.

…

That's probably a bit dangerous.

"Saria, wait! I have to climb down this ladder first!" shouted Link after her as he scrambled down his ladder, crashed to the floor and booked it after his friend.

* * *

Crashing through ferns and piles of leaves, Link inspected his homemade map of the forest.

"Woods of Spirits, Woods of Spirits, Woods of Spirits..." he muttered as he scanned the paper. Where was the Woods of Spirits? "Gully Bluff, Adda Pond, Aha! Here we are!"

Using the map, he tracked where he was and ran towards the Woods of Spirits.

Even though the name suggested that the Woods of Spirits was haunted, it was pretty much the opposite. It was a little space of forest where celebrations took place. Most of the time, people went there to celebrate a big event like a birthday or an-

"Wait a minute!" mumbled Link as he crashed into his destination. Before he could process everything, there was the sound of a bonfire starting up, followed by cheering.

Deafening cheering.

" **HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!** "

" **AAAAARGH!** "

In complete and utter shock from this sudden celebration, Link tripped over the root of a tree and skidded along the floor to a stop, leaving a furrow in the ground behind him as if he were a farming plough.

Yanking his dirty face out from the floor, Link eyed what was going on ahead of him. A group of stunned Kokiri, a giant, wooden table, a great big bonfire in the background and a wooden house, decorated with a giant, handwritten banner that read "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LINK!".

Well, it had a lot more exclamation marks than that. However, I physically can't put them in. I don't really know why, but that really should get fixed!

"Whoa. Whoa! What's going on?" mused Link as he brushed a bit of molehill dirt off his arm. Saria and a few of her friends flanked him to help him up.

"Don't you remember? Today is your anniversary! Today is the date you arrived here! It's midnight!"

" _What?"_ thought Link as he hauled himself up with a little help. "Are you sure? I thought it was tomorrow!"

"Why, no! This is why we didn't call you for dinner yesterday! Since most of these special days go wrong, we decided to make it up to you by celebrating this one as soon as it started!" explained Saria as she helped dust Link off.

"' _As… soon… as… it… started?"_

Link thought about this for a bit before finally, everything clicked into place.

"Midnight! The date changes at midnight! Of course!"

Now everything made sense. The Kokiri would usually call everyone around for dinner at around seven o'clock, but Link would always forget and would never be there in advance. It seemed that the Kokiri had used this to their advantage and delayed dinner until midnight so that they could have a massive feast for Link's anniversary!

"You… You guys are… y-y- I- oh, drat, I can't talk!" mumbled Link. He was so overwhelmed with emotion that he couldn't properly piece together a sentence. It was like trying to fit a piece of string through the eye of a needle with cold, shivering hands. "You guys are the best!"

Saria gave him a friendly smile and wiped a little happy tear from his face before guiding him to the table. "Now, come and sit down! What would you like to be cooked? Mido would be more than happy to make a meal, **wouldn't you, Mido?** "

Oh, no.

Really?

Link scanned the sea of heads at the table. They were all looking away from him at someone else. The only head that wasn't turned was Mido's. This was because he was the one everyone was looking at. He seemed to be zoned out, but when he had processed that Saria had said his name rather harshly, he sprung up. That was bound to get his attention, because Mido craved to be liked by the girl.

"Whatwhatwhat? I- um… what is it?" spluttered Mido with a rather delayed reaction. He sat completely upright, with a nervous, wide smile.

Flashing back to the spice incident from last year, Link quickly spoke up. "Actually, Saria, I have a better idea."

* * *

"What do you mean, no?" roared an armoured figure in the Great Deku Tree's meadow.

" **I** **mean** **what I sayeth. The answ'r 's nay. This em'rald is a talisman of the f** **o** **rest and I cannot allow 't to falleth into evil hands. If 't be true thee w're to ha** **ve** **i** **t, I wouldst beest allowing just yond.** "

"I mean what I say as well! If you don't give me that piece of ore, you'll be suffering in constant, never-ending pain until your slow death arrives, you freaky tiki!"

" **I predict thou would not** **cast that curse.** "

"If that's your prediction, I hope you don't become a fortune teller!"

With that, the man, obscured by a thick cloak, raised his hand. Electricity crackled from his fingers like string from a spider as it congregated into a ball of energy.

" **Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes!** " shouted the Great Deku Tree as the cursed projectile grew into the size of a watermelon.

"I shall infect more than that in a few short seconds!"

The man showed no signs of backing down, despite the insults of his target.

" **Thou hast no more brain** **in thy head** **than I have in my branches. A hex like yond shall has't nay effect on a tree.** "

The man lowered his hand a little, about to call off his spell. The Great Deku Tree was right. This man had researched the deity before coming to raid it, and his sources had said the Great Deku Tree was immune to corruption.

Just before the magic dissipated, the mystery assassin noticed something crawling along out the corner of his eye.

An eight-legged spider. Eight eyes on the front of it, an exoskeleton protecting it from birds of prey.

"What do we have here?" whined the man in a mocking tone. "A crust spider. This is no deity. A simple, woodland creature. This shall be a prime example that you should always look for a solution."

The man fired the hex at the crust spider. At first glance, it appeared to kill it instantly as it flipped on its back and shrivelled its legs. However, it had survived. Its legs began shaking as it tried to right itself. As it thrashed, it seemed to get bigger.

With a sickening slurping noise, all of its eyes merged into one large, red eye. With loud scraping noises, its front limbs metallised. With teeth-grating sharpening noises, its second set of limbs grew sharp hooks on the tips.

It grew and grew and grew until finally, it was several times the size of a spider crab. One massive, bloodshot eye with a red iris, metallic forearms, a pair of hooked legs and one toothed mouth that could spit burning acid.

The crust spider had become a nearly mindless monster.

"Well, that's one ugly bug!" laughed the cloaked warlock. "Now, show this guy how strong you are by taking out a few of the villagers here!"

The Great Deku Tree said nothing as the man stepped into a liquid-like void of darkness that appeared and vanished with him. Either he knew something that the man didn't or he was just distraught.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!"

With an ear-piercing shriek, the shelled spider stomped away from the Great Deku Tree towards the Kokiri, leaving dents in the floor as it thundered along.

* * *

"Here we are! Tournedos Rossini!" announced Link as he stepped out of the mess house with a few others. To save everyone getting food poisoning thanks to **SOMEONE** making a meal out of the meal, Link had taken the food situation into his own hands. Link and the few that decided to help were carrying plates topped with some food. A small portion of steak, carrying some vegetables on top. Some brown sauce zigzagged across the plates. Finally, the meat was garnished with a mint leaf and some common vegetables decorated the side of the plates.

"Eh? 'Tornado?'" growled Mido. His red fairy, Yoi, flew out from under his hat.

"No, not tornado, Tournedos! It's a fancy, foreign language, Mido!" she tittered. Mido glared at her.

"I was joking, OK?"

The food was passed around the table evenly. Once they ran out, they simply returned to the mess house and bought out more.

"This is it?" muttered Mido as Link very intentionally placed his portion down last.

"Well, it may not be big, but what's there is top-quality!" replied Link, trying his best not to look suspicious. If Mido thought that he had spiked his food, he would probably fling it and scream "HE'S SPIKED OUR GRUB!" and that would ruin yet another anniversary.

Squinting suspiciously, Mido took his wooden cutlery, cut off a piece of meat and popped it into his mouth. As he processed the flavouring, all the others stared at him for a reaction. After what seemed like a minute of chewing, Mido opened his mouth to speak, but then appeared to stop and reconsider. If he were to say anything bad, he was bound to be kicked out.

"Well… 'S all right, I suppose." he muttered.

Mido saying this about Link's cooking meant that it must have been absolutely amazing! With nothing to worry about, the rest all dug in. Link sat in anticipation to see if anyone else liked it.

Considering Mido not throwing a wobbly at his cooking, it was really a given that no one would dislike it.

"What? 'All right'? This is delicious!"

"How did you do this?"

"Oh, my goodness! It tastes like heaven on a spoon!"

Phew! Link gave a relieved smile as Saria tasted his cooking. Immediately, her eyes widened.

"Link? What on earth did you put in here? This tastes amazing!" she breathed, inspecting the inside of the steak as if she was looking through the keyhole of a door. Trying to think of the ingredients off the top of his head, Link recited what he had used.

"Well, there's beef tenderloin, filet mignon, vegetables, truffle sauce-"

With no warning, Saria patted him on the shoulder. Link jumped a little at this. He didn't really like contact with another person because most physical contact he'd received involved being shoved around and nudged out of the way.

"Well, I think you're an absolutely amazing cook!" said Saria, reassuringly. Link slowly calmed himself.

Maybe not all physical contact involved landing in the duck pond.

"Hey!" shouted a high voice from off in the distance.

"Listen to us!" came another from the same direction. All the kids turned their heads at the voices. Like a spectacular light show, two fairies, one green and one yellow, fluttered towards the party at speed. They were frantically gibbering as if they had just seen a mutilated ghoul.

"Saria! Saria! Listen!" squealed the green fairy as it stopped around Saria and bounced up and down like a rubber ball thrown downwards in a room with a very low ceiling.

"Fado! Fado! There's a monster marching around here!" squealed the yellow fairy, quivering near a blonde girl with hair buns. The whole, entire table gasped in horror, all except for one.

"A monster? That's ridiculous! There's no monster in this forest! There hasn't been for years!" shouted the one kid, who had brown hair that went down over his eyes.

"Yes there is! It's big and it's scary and it eats everything in sight!" replied the green fairy as she shot over to the one plucky boy. Standing his ground, he still denied.

"That's Mido! Now, stop trying to scare us with these monster stories! We'll save them for the campfire part of the party!" insisted the boy. Mido shot a death glare at him across the table.

"You'll get a bunch of fours from me if you say something like that again..." he muttered as several Kokiri tried their best to not laugh at that stealth insult. Link, however, seemed interested in something.

A cup of fresh spring water.

 **Plop.**

A drip of water permeated the surface of the drink, undoubtedly caused by a creature of great mass.

 **Rumble…**

 **Plip!**

An audible rumble caused a giant ring to appear in the centre of the liquid and scatter to the edges.

"Um… Saria?" gibbered Link as he tapped his friend on the shoulder. She turned to face him.

"Yes? Are you all right?"

"I think that fairy is telling the truth. Look!"

The two watched the cup of spring water for any more signs of movement.

…

…

…

Nothing.

Every time, isn't it? You bring your spluttering car to the mechanic and the second he looks at it, it purrs like a kitten. Every single time.

"Right… So, let me tell you all I know..." started Link. Mido snorted from across the table.

"Well, this shouldn't take long! **HA, HA, HA!** " guffawed the little terror.

Well, I knew that change of attitude was too good to be true. So did Link. Narrowing his eyes, he rolled one of his sleeves up. "Right. That's it. I'll flatten you if you say stuff like that." he threatened, but he felt Saria's hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about him, Link. Remember, 'Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me!'" recited the girl. This was something that she had told Link a lot. He didn't know what it really meant because Link would always think outside the box and get idioms all wrong.

"Right. Give me a minute." said Link, reaching under the table. Grabbing hold of a Y-shaped stick in his pocket, he nocked it with a twig and-

 **THWACK!**

With the twang of strings, the small twig flew through the air and harmlessly knocked Mido in the head. It didn't really hurt, but the surprise caused him to topple off of his seat and onto the floor.

"Oh, that's not what I meant!" sighed Saria as she shook her head.

"As I was saying, I shall tell you all I know about this situation." finished Link. In his hand, he held a slingshot. A simple stick with two red tips and a strip of elastic holding a leather cup up. "Right, so I just felt a little rumble in the floor just now. It's shaking the cup of water there. Any time now, it'll happen again."

 **BOOM!**

 **SPLASH!**

A massive quake caused the cup of spring water to spring into the air and splatter onto the table. Link and Saria stared at each other in wide-eyed shock. Everyone around the table had now gone silent and was staring past them, hardly breathing from fright.

Scared out of their skin, Link and Saria slowly turned around.

" **SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!** "

A giant, armoured spider stood behind them. One bloodshot, narrowed eye, two metal forearms, two hooked legs and one giant shell of armour.

As soon as everyone saw the monster they got up and ran for their lives, screaming into the cover of the nearby trees. With a swish of metal, the giant spider swung its arm and smashed it into the bonfire, creating a massive explosion.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Flaming shards of wood and ash shot everywhere. Over the table, towards trees and over the heads of the fleeing kids. A sword that was being used as a poker for the fire was also launched by the explosion and it spun through the air like a boomerang, straight towards Link and Saria, who were running alongside each other.

 **SwishswishswishswishswishswishSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISHSWISH…**

Hearing the whirling blade, Saria hit the dirt, taking Link with her.

"Heads up!" she shouted as the blade whizzed overhead. The sword, red from the heat, jammed straight into a tree like a dart into a board.

Wasting no time, Link leaped back up like a spring, ran to the smoking weapon, gripped the bronze handle which was wrapped in bandages and tugged it out of the tree. Finally, he turned to face the behemoth behind him.

"Link! What are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed! You can't fight something that big!" cried Saria as she pulled herself up. Link turned back to her as she stepped towards him.

"Well, how else is it going to leave the forest? Everyone else has no weapon right now! Trust me, I'm ready for this. All I need is support and-"

With a tremendous scream, the monster pointed its eye at the ground and a blue laser shot out of it. A swift upwards motion of its head and the beam was ripping along the ground, straight towards the two once more.

"Look out!"

Link shoved himself and Saria out of the path of the projectile. It cut through the tree that the sword had lodged itself into, leaving a red, glowing line up the centre of it. With a burst of steam, the tree fell apart vertically, with the two halves clattering to the ground.

"That's it! No one kills our home like this! No one!" roared Link. As Saria watched helplessly, he charged at the spider, screaming " **DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!** " all the way. The demon beast did nothing. It simply stood there, eye narrowed. Within a second, it violently smashed the boy away with its metallic forearm.

 **CLANGGGG!**

Link flew through the air like a ragdoll, sliding against the grass and coming to rest by the split tree.

"Link! Please! Stop! It's going to kill you! You may not think it, but NONE of us want that! Not one of us!"

Still recovering from the blow to the head, Link hauled himself up with Saria's help. "I… I can't just sit here and let this monster kill us all! I have a responsibility to everyone and I have to protect them!"

"Look, your life is not worth stalling the monster! Not nearly! We all care about you! A whole lot! Just… Let's go to the Great Deku Tree. He must be able to help us."

With those last two sentences, Saria calmed her voice down a bit. This also made Link feel a bit less wrathful. Not much, but still less.

"All right. If anyone can beat this guy, it's him."

The two were about to leave to beseech the Great Deku Tree but they didn't get far before a horribly familiar voice boomed across the forest.

" **HEY, YOU!** **CRUSTACIOUS CREEP** **!** "

It was Mido! Hiding behind the body of a fallen tree, he leapt out of cover and charged at the monster, wielding a sooty chimney brush as if he thought he could swat the spider into the stratosphere with it. "Don't touch the forest, you selfish shellfish! Take this!"

"Mido, stop! Don't!" called Saria after him. Link wanted to call after him too, but…

Not that he didn't want too, but it was something else. A green flash in his vision, and… he was watching what seemed to be a glimpse into the future. The edges of his sight were all blurry, but it was still obvious what was happening. As soon as Mido reached point-blank range, the spider released an acid bomb. Scene change. The monster batted a burned and battered Mido against a tree. Scene change. A scene from behind said tree, the monster trusted its sharp leg at it and…

Oh…

Oh, no.

Just before a clean strike, the premonition ended and colours danced before Link's eyes and drained from his face before he finally could see again.

"Wh-What did I just..." muttered Link as Saria continued screaming at the charging Mido. Just as it was doing with Link, the arachnid wasn't moving. Its eye was narrowed and slowly turning blue as it prepared to fire an acid bomb.

"No! Don't move! Stay back!" Link called, his eyes full of frightened tears. He ran straight at Mido, swinging the still-glowing sword around in front of him to scare Mido away. This worked rather well as Mido noticed Link running at him like a runaway monkey and began to retreat.

This left Link right in the way of the giant spider's attack. With a heart-stopping splattering noise, a giant ball of acid shot out of the demon's mouth. With a deafening hiss, the acid covered Link from head to toe, throwing him to the floor. Almost all of the Kokiri descended into screaming fits as he immediately felt it burning. It felt like an allergic reaction, only several hundred times worse. Like being in a fire, only dozens worse. He desperately tried wiping it off but as he did, he noticed that it was leaving awful wounds.

Then he passed out, the sound of screaming kids in his ears.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa** aaaaaaaaah..."

The monster stood over the unconscious boy, hissing wildly as its iris flashed electric blue. Electricity started to get sucked into a vortex, congregating into a big ball of electricity just ahead of the monster.

"Wait, that's it! Its eye! When its eye is blue, that must mean that it's committed to an attack and it's vulnerable!" deduced Saria. "Someone! Throw something at its eye! Quick!"

"I'm on it!" shouted Mido. Knowing when to draw the line at his own ridiculing, he raced over to the fireplace and heaved a giant log out of the pile, the end still flaming. With a spinning start, he swung the log around and around and around to allow the flame to spread and when the fire had reached halfway down the weapon, he hurled it at the shelled beast. The flaming pole whirled through the air like a fire dancer before smashing into the monster. It let out an awful shriek as the log exploded in spectacular fashion. A burst of ashes and wood obscured it as the monster thrashed in fury and pain. When the debris cleared, the spider was glaring furiously at the rest of the Kokiri, its lens dusted in black ash. It evidently couldn't see well because it was blinking furiously and looking in the wrong direction.

…

…

…

With a suspenseful pause, the monster stampeded into the forest, knocking down trees in its blind rage.

It was gone, and so was Link if something wasn't done fast.

All the other Kokiri seemed to forget about him in all the carnage and had sloped off, paranoid for their lives, but Saria stuck around.

"Please, tell me it's not true..." she whimpered as she shuffled to the wreckage of the fire, her whole body heaving. Next to it lay Link, covered in burns and a small amount of leftover acid.

"Say it's just a dream..."

No denial was ever going to change things.

"This is all my fault! I should have stepped in myself!"

Silently, she reached down, picked Link up as best she could and lugged him back to his treehouse, the acid burning her neck.

* * *

 _ **Quote Of The Day:**_

* * *

 _"Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years."_


	3. A Little Hug

He didn't know where he was.

He didn't know how he got there.

He didn't even know what was happening. One minute he was being blasted in the face with a ball of acid and the next, he was standing in an empty… piece of land. No trees, no forest plants, just short, green grass and annoying, torrential rain all around. In front of him stood…

Wait, what was that?

He had never seen anything like that in his entire life. It was a giant wall of bricks that seemed to go around in a blocky circle.

" _Is this a dream?"_ thought Link as he stared at the strange structure ahead of him. His boots began sinking into the wet ground and water seeped down the back of his neck like the chill of a nearby ghost.

"Brrrrr! What's going on?" chattered the boy as he stepped back a little. The water was now seeping into his boots. He was not dressed for this weather. His charred tunic stopped just above his knees and the sleeves didn't even reach his elbows. Definitely not clothes for temperatures that allowed you to see your breath.

With a rattle of chains, a large board of wood was lowered to the ground like a coffin being laid into the dirt, revealing a big hole in the wall. It seemed to lead into civilisation, but one thing in particular stood out behind the galloping white horse.

A giant building off in the distance. Proud spires piercing the heavens above, coloured blue. Link could clearly see that it was lit up on the inside since there were little slits to fire arrows at attackers from inside illuminating the surrounding area.

 **Clippity clop, clippity clop, clippity clop, clippity clop…**

Oh, right. The galloping white horse. There it was, speeding straight at Link. He was the deer, it was the car. Leaping out of its way in fright, Link caught a glimpse of the passengers.

A girl and a woman. The girl looked about his age and was wearing a white and purple dress, plus a headdress of the same colour. She was staring at Link, her eyes wide and dilated with fright. The woman behind her seemed like a warrior of some sort. As she steered the horse, Link noticed that she was wearing metal armour and a very serious expression. She didn't even notice Link as the horse sped off into the night like a fleeing suspect.

"What was all that about?" muttered Link to no one in particular. To his surprise, someone actually responded.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

What?

"Who's there?" gasped Link, turning around frantically. It felt like there was something in his hat, so he gave it a sharp tug. Off it came, and out came a little, blue light with wings.

A fairy?

"Who are you?" asked Link incredulously. The fairy sagged its wings in confusion.

"You're joking, right? I've been with you for the last few days! Link, are you OK?" it piped, floating over to his forehead and pressing against it. "Do you have a fever? Amnesia, maybe?"

"No, none of those! I'm… How did I even get here? How do you know my name?"

"Link, you need attention, and fast. Something is wrong! Don't you remember me? Navi?"

"Navi? Wait, am I dreaming? I've never had a fairy before. That is the only-"

" **HEY, YOU!** "

Link and the mysterious fairy whirled around at this booming voice. Storming out of the castle, riding a black stallion, was an armoured warrior. A black night. Black armour and a cloak. His stallion galloped across the wooden plank that had been lowered to the floor and, once they reached Link, the man pulled the chain reigns of the horse and it skidded to a halt, the impact spraying Link with water that had soaked into the grass. The wave produced reached up over Link and sniped the mysterious fairy to the floor. To a person, this would be like getting hit with a seiche wave.

"Link! Please help! I'm stuck!" yelped the little fairy, slowly moving her wings in the water. Despite not knowing who she was or where they even were, Link expressed great concern, scooping the pixie out of the water and blowing hot air on her to dry her off a bit.

"Are you OK? Look, you're going to be just fine. I'll get to the bottom of this! I will!" Link was still shivering, but he wasn't even feeling as cold as he was now. The stress was warming him up fast. "You! Who are you and what do you want me for?" he shouted at the man on the horse. He cracked a twisted little smile.

"Tell me, did you see that white horse that went across the drawbridge? Where did it go?" he pressed. He stared at the scrawny child ahead of him for an answer. As for him, he was completely lost for words.

"I… I… Well… you see… um… I… Where am I?"

The man's smile faded a bit and was replaced by a frown. Somehow, this wasn't even as bad as his smile. "Answering a question with a question? Are you trying to hide them from me?"

"N-n-n-no, I'm not! I'm just… I can't remember how I got here! First I get burned by acid and then-"

"Oh, spare the drivel. Seeing as you can't answer me, I'll have to knock some sense into you!"

With that, the man raised one of his hands into the air, straight at Link. A small ball of orange fire illuminated his palm. It grew to the size of a golf ball before it stopped and flew at Link.

It was hungry for blood.

Young blood.

* * *

"Ah!"

No, the attack hadn't hit Link at all. In fact, Link found himself laying on a hard, wooden surface under a piece of fabric that had been cut out from a potato sack. He had just woken with a jolt, that was all.

He was in bed.

Back in his house.

Back in the real world.

No way would the monster have taken him here. It wouldn't have been able to fit through the door! Also, it didn't seem like that kind of guy.

Link sat up in bed and tried to look around a little, but a searing pain in his neck caused him to cringe.

The burns. Just looking at them flared the pain all the way up. They looked like raw beef but several times less appetising. Ouch!

There are several moments in your life where an event that isn't very significant can be very unpleasant. Noticing that past injuries look like food must be very high up there with the ranks of:

\- When you try to sleep and your whole body twitches and makes you jump out of your skin. _**1/10**_

\- When you flush a toilet and the dirty water hits your bottom. _**2/10**_

\- When you tap your pockets but don't feel your wallet because it's in your hand. _**3/10**_

\- When you eat crisps and a pointy part jabs the roof of your mouth. _**4/10**_

\- When you get water up your nose while in a very salty body of water. _**5/10**_

\- When you put in earphones, forget to half your volume and put on heavy metal music. _**6/10**_

\- When you air drum and accidentally hit a hard surface. _**7/10**_

\- When you hit your ankle on the rim of a scooter. _**8/10**_

\- When you slip and fall over while running on an icy surface and walk funny for days. _**9/10**_

\- When you notice that your wounds look like food and it makes you feel physically ill. _**1000/10**_

"Well, I'll just pretend I never saw those..." muttered Link as he groggily waved his head around and slid his burns under the cover.

 **Clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak…**

" _That spider did such a number on me that I'm now hearing things! Aargh! I must try and go back to sleep!"_ growled Link's brain as he scrunched his covers over himself and tried to find a comfy position to rest in. This was driving him mad!

"Link? Were you moving just then? Are you all right? Please say you're all right!"

"Saria?"

Link catapulted himself up as if he'd been hit by a hypnic jerk. Carrying a bucket and quickly walking in with a face of pure relief and concern at the same time was his friend, Saria.

"Thank goodness! We all thought we'd lost you!" whimpered the girl, small tears pricking at her eyes. She kneeled down and dipped a sponge into a bucket of iced water. "It's been seven hours of sleepless anxiety and we've all been worried sick! Everyone! We all feared the worst!"

Link was surprised at this. First, everyone ignored him like the plague and next, they threw a MASSIVE FLIPPING ANNIVERSARY PARTY that was AT MIDNIGHT and actually lost sleep over him? Maybe everyone had turned over a new leaf.

" _Maybe they're not as cold as I thought and I should talk a bit more often."_ thought Link as Saria pulled the now-wet sponge out of the ice-cold water. It was so cold, steam was rising from it as if it were a hot pan full of steak.

Oh. Maybe I shouldn't talk about steak now. Anyway, Saria took hold of Link's arm, making perfectly sure not to touch his burns, and raised her sponge. "This may sting a little. Don't worry, it's good for these burns." she said soothingly. Ever so slightly, she dabbed her sponge on the biggest wound as if she were making a painting of some kind.

 **Drip**

"OW! A little?" Link gasped under the sharp pain of the water. "Owowow! Sorry! If it works, it's good!"

"It's working! Look, the swelling is already going down!" whispered Saria as she pressed the sponge slightly harder to squeeze some more water out. This managed to hurt even more, but it was that good kind of pain. What? No, that's not what I meant! It's that kind of pain where you know it isn't because it's damaging you but because it's helping you, like a painful, wobbly tooth coming out.

"Sorry, but how on earth did I get here?" asked Link, trying to take his mind off the pain.

"I carried you here myself. Our combined weight may have weakened your ladder, though. I'm sorry."

"What? All the way from over there?"

"Yeah. Girls can be just as strong as boys when they really put their minds to it!" replied Saria with a grin.

Link was astonished. The Woods of Spirits was about a five minute run from his house. Saria had WALKED back while carrying him, so that would have probably taken around 13 or 14 minutes.

"Well, then… I… Thank you. It was probably safer in here than it was out there. What happened to my mum? Is she all right?"

"Yes. The monster destroyed many trees in its wake, but your mum's plant is all intact. Not one mark."

Link sighed in relief. Ever since he had learned of one particular plant in the forest that was once his mother, he had religiously gone around to it every day to talk to it. He would offer baskets of fruit, talk about his interests, ask about hers, all that. One time he almost socked Mido after he noticed him twirling his index finger by the side of his head in the middle of one of these sessions, but stopped himself because mum wouldn't have liked that.

"What happened to that monster? Is it gone?"

"Well, no. Mido discovered its weakness. If its eye turns blue, that means that it can't close it because it's committed to an attack. If it did try and close its eye, the resulting laser would probably burn through its eyelid or something. That's when it's vulnerable." explained Saria.

"AAARGH! No! I could have beat it! One slingshot pellet and it would have been curtains for that crusty, crusted crustacean! Now it's running amok in the forest and it's my fault!"

" **That's not true!** " gasped Saria loudly. Her sudden increase in volume made Link freeze in his tracks. "Sorry. Sorry about the shouting. It's just… not everything is your fault! Some people make you think that, but you've been good as gold for your entire life! Not even I can say that!"

"Not even you?"

"No, not even me. I once made bat noises through Mido's window while he slept for no real reason than to teach him a lesson. You shot that twig at him because he insulted you. Speaking of that, where did you get that slingshot?"

The slingshot laying on the table to his side caught Link's attention. "Well, I found a stick in that shape and I used it to collect fruit high up in the tree without having to climb up."

"Well, it's very well made. How did you do it?" hummed Saria as she picked up the slingshot and examined it from every angle as if she were a judge of some sort.

"Simple, really. I just found some bungee rope in the Seresley Dump and decided to use that for the firing. It works really well."

"I've never heard of a concept like this before! Coming up with something like this... You're really something, Link."

Although he was touched by this, Link wasn't too convinced that this was true. "'Weird' is the word."

Putting down the slingshot, Saria crouched back down so that she was eye-level with Link. "Well, if I may…" she started.

"Yes, you may."

"Did you… make a wish on your birthday?"

"Yes. Actually… It's best if it's in the dark."

"Really?"

Link wrestled with the thoughts in his head. His wish was very predictable for the Kokiri. Would Saria have known already?

"All right. I'll tell you. You may have known this already, but… I wished for a fairy this year."

"I figured as much. You really deserve one."

This caught Link off guard a little. It made him stifle a gasp, but he continued speaking.

"I kind of need one as well. Maybe I wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb if I had a fairy."

"Look, you fit in perfectly with us Kokiri. No matter what anyone says, you will always be one of us."

"Always?"

"Always."

Speaking of fairies, Link remembered the dream he had suffered from yet again. The one where he had a fairy. "That reminds me… Saria, I've been having… a really strange, recurring nightmare. I just had it again for the seventh time in a row." explained Link. Saria tilted her head a bit.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. What's especially strange is that… it has stuff in it that I've never seen before. It has a giant brick wall with a city inside of it and… it also has a giant structure in the back of it."

"What does it look like?"

"Well… it's giant. It has these pointy bits at the top and… it's always covered by the dark. That's all I can make out."

"Does anything happen in this dream?"

"Unfortunately." replied Link. "It's kind of terrifying. A white horse comes galloping past me with a woman and a girl on it. The girl is always looking at me as if she knows me or something. Then some nutcase on a black horse comes around, asks me where they went and tries to attack me when I can't put a sentence together. I always wake up at that point."

"How are things that you don't know about showing up in your dreams like that?" asked Saria, confused as anything.

"I… don't know to be honest."

The two simply sat there in silence. This had gone on for a bit and Link, to be frank, wanted to rest a bit.

Realising this, Saria stood up. "I should be going now. I'll see you in a bit, OK? You need your rest now."

With that, she gave him a little hug and left, clacking down the ladder and vanishing into the forest.

"What was that thing she just did?" mused Link before yawning and laying back down as gently as he could to avoid upsetting his burns. Within a few minutes, he was out like a light.

* * *

" **In the vast, deep f'rest of Hyrule…** **Long have I served as the guardian spirit.** "

" **I am known as the Great Deku Tree.** "

The Great Deku Tree appeared to be speaking with no one. It had picked its moment before it started this speech. With a little wriggle of a branch, something flew out from the leaves of said branch as a little creak sang.

" **The children of the f'rest, the Kokiri, liveth here with me. Each Kokiri hast his or her own guardian fairy. Howev'r, there is one knave who hast no fairy.** "

All of that was about to change. The creature that flew out of the branch? A blue ball of light.

" **Dost thou sense it? The climate of evil descending upon this w'rld… For so longeth, the Kokiri f'rest, the source of life, hast stoodeth as a barrier, deterring outsid'rs and maintaining the ord'r of the world"**

The blue ball of light spread its insectoid wings. A fairy.

" **But... before this evil, even mine own pow'r is as nothing. 'T seemest the time hast come f'r the knave with nay fairy to begin his journey. The knave whose destiny 't is to leadeth Hyrule to the path of justice and sooth.** "

Slowly, the fairy flittered around to face the Great Deku Tree, leaving a blue trail of aura behind it as it went. "He's in the village somewhere. I'll just look for the one with no fairy." she assured the deity. Its voice was feminine and rather high pitched.

" **Navi! wend anon! findeth our young cousin and bringeth that gent to me!** "

"Yes, sir!"

Navi took to the air, darting in and out of trees like a pinball through bumpers.

"Excuse me!" she squeaked as she zipped past a farmer.

"Sorry!" she yelped as she accidentally knocked a boy into the duck pond.

"Boy without a fairy… Boy without a fairy… **DARN IT!** The only boys I ever come across here already have fairies!"

* * *

"And then I gave that monster the ol' heave ho! Yep! Lobbed a log at its eye and it exploded in a magical display of fireworks! **BOOM! BANG! PHEEEE!** "

Mido. The little wally. No, he did not kill the monster and no, it didn't explode into fireworks. Has he even been reading? Argh!

Noi floated out from her little birdcage that she could open and close at will. Yes, even Mido wasn't THAT mean.

"With all due respect, I don't think that monster is dead yet!" she said, chipper as usual.

"Well, what I meant to do?" groaned Mido, sighing as if his fairy was absolutely bonkers. "Am I meant to gloat about how stuffed we are or something? I have to do something, otherwise..."

"Hey! Who are you?"

Mido and Noi both looked over at the entrance to his house. Angrily flapping in the doorway was…

Noi?

" **AAAAAAARGH! I'M SEEING DOUBLE! I NEED GLASSES!** " shrieked Mido, looking back and forth between the two fairies. Both were the same colour. Both were flying in the same manner.

"Mido? Who is this? Is this an imposter?" shouted the fairy who was at the door. On command, the other fairy's colour changed back to blue.

"So!" shouted Noi. "Someone's been pretending to be me! I just go and take in the sights, I come back and I've been switcherooed!"

Mido continued looking back and forth before he angrily eyed the blue fairy. "Explain yourself. **NOW.** "

"Sorry about all that, but I was warned about you by the Great Deku Tree, so this was the only way to-" began Navi. It didn't take long for Mido to cut her off.

"And what did he say about me?"

"He just said that you can be a bit… irritable in the mornings. This was apparently the only way to speak with you."

Mido brushed off this remark. "And what do you need me for?"

"Do you know where Link is?"

Mido leaned back and lifted an eyebrow. "What do you need that nutcracker for?"

"Please! It's an emergency! Something's wrong with the Great Deku Tree!"

" **WHAT?** " roared Mido, scaring a nearby flock of birds out of the tree leaning above his house. "Come with me!"

Mido leaped up and, staring at Navi over his shoulder, sprinted out the-

 **BONK!**

…

Well, that's why you should watch where you're going, I suppose. Anyway, Mido pulled himself up, slowly turning red with anger and embarrassment, before running out of his house, making it out the doorway this time. Navi bolted out of the door like a shot and Mido follower her through trees, fields, farms and finally, to Link's house.

* * *

 _ **Quote Of The Day:**_

* * *

" _The grass is always greener, but you don't really know what you truly have until it's gone."_


	4. A Pie In The Eye

Shuffling in his bed, Link tried his best to ignore the sound of footsteps and shouting outside his door.

"Clear off. I'm trying to have a kip here..." he mumbled. No way would the noisy neighbour hear that. In fact, they started climbing his ladder.

 **Clak, clak, clak, snap! "AAAAAAAARGH!", CRAAAASH!**

Mido lay in a heap on the floor outside after one of the rungs broke underfoot. "I've told him a million times to fix up this… this horrible ladder! I keep saying that someone's gonna fall off it and he never listens! LINK! LINK! Get yourself up and out of bed! The Great Deku Tree needs you!"

"Get lost. I need time to..." grunted Link but before he could finish, he felt a fist closing around his tunic and lugging him up. "Oi! Careful! That area is burned! In fact, I'm burned almost all over!"

"No, they're not! There isn't one burn anywhere! How did you heal so fast!"

What? Inspecting his arm, everything had gone down completely. One minute, he had the worst looking injuries he had ever seen and the next they had all skedaddled!

"Where did they all disappear to? And what are you here for, Mido?" grumbled Link, still in his Just-Woken-Up state. Mido released him.

"The Great Deku Tree is in jeopardy and he's summoned you for help!" Mido jumped up and down like an impatient puppy waiting to go outside. At first, Link rolled his eyes but then he went back on himself.

"Wait, go back, what was that?"

"I said, the Great Deku Tree is in trouble! He needs to see you!"

"And who told you this?"

"She did!" stated both Mido and Noi, looking behind themselves. Link squinted at his doorway, but he saw nothing. Only a little speck of dust glistening in the sunlight.

One singular speck of dust.

Which had wings.

Wait a minute!

"Who are you?" asked Link to the fairy with a hint of worry. Was he dreaming again?

"I'm Navi the fairy! I've been sent by the Great Deku Tree to become your partner!"

Link stared wide-eyed at Navi. Was this all because he'd wished for one yesterday?

After wishing for one and thinking it was impossible for years, Link could hardly even make a coherent sentence. "Y-y-y-you have?"

"I have."

Mido rolled his eyes slightly. "Come on! Duty calls! No time for this!" he snapped.

"Oh, what is your problem!" shouted both Link and Navi in unison. This was enough to intimidate Mido and Noi into escaping.

"Well… I'm off. See you… later… **RUN.** "

With that, Mido ran out the door and began to descend the ladder.

 **Clak… clak… clak… clak… CRAAASH!**

…

…

…

" **AAAAAAAAARGH! NOT AGAIN!** "

Until he could no longer hear Mido scarpering, Link and his new fairy were awkwardly silent.

…

…

…

"Is he always like that?" piped Navi.

"Well, yeah. He used to call me 'Billy No-Mates' because I had no fairy. Do you know what this means?"

"That your name is Billy?"

"No, it means that he can't call me that any more! Yes!"

"Well, that guy sounds like a piece of work. Anyway, what is your name?" asked Navi. Her wings pointed up. She was listening.

"Link."

Suddenly, Navi's entire body shot upwards as if alarmed by something. "Link? Huh. I don't know why… but I kind of saw that coming. I had a thought that your name would be Link. You know, just an inkling."

"That's a little strange." mused Link. "Maybe the Great Deku Tree has something to do with it."

"Speaking of the Great Deku Tree, we're digressing a bit. We should really go and see the Great Deku Tree! And fast!"

"Right!"

Finally, Link and Navi leaped up and ran out the door, the former grabbing the slingshot off his table as he went. He slid down his now-broken ladder while Navi followed.

* * *

"Link? Where are you off to in such a rush?" called a farmer as Link zipped across his land, dodging in and out of vegetables.

"Oi! Careful! I almost fell into the pond!" shouted a girl who was hunched over by a little pond full of ducks as Link stampeded past.

"Mind my ladder!" squealed a boy hanging up a flower basked as Link dashed underneath his ladder.

"Link? Why are you going so fast? Why do you look so stressed?"

Saria's voice automatically made Link plant his boot into the ground and skid to a halt like a car. "Saria, look, I'm all right. My burns are all gone. I'm not sure how it happened, maybe that was just some really good water, but…"

Looking at his friend's concern made it hard for him to piece together a sentence. This is happening a lot, isn't it?

"Why are you running so fast? You look terrified! What happened to your burns?"

"I… Well… I don't know. You see..."

groaning exasperatedly, Navi rose into the air and with a big intake of breath:

" **THE GREAT DEKU TREE IS DYING!** "

"Dying?!" gasped Link.

"What?" breathed Saria. Her mind was twisting all over the place. First all of Link's injuries had healed in about ten minutes, next he was sprinting through the forest as if he were being haunted by a ghost, then he had a fairy and now the Great Deku Tree was dying? "One thing at a time here. First… who are you, fairy?"

Still zipping about as if she was being delayed from reaching the corner shop before it closed, Navi turned red as she spoke very hurriedly. "Navi. Link's new fairy. The Great Deku Tree summoned him because **IT'S DYING!** We would love to stay and chat, but we **NEED TO GO!** "

"Link… you finally got a fairy… I am so happy for you." said Saria tenderly. Link gave an anxious glance at Navi. He knew that she would not like this distraction.

"Look, I'm sorry. I can't hang around much longer. Apparently, the Great Deku Tree is dying and I need to see what's going on!" Turning around and not saying another word, Link ran off into the little cave that lead through to the Great Deku Tree's meadow.

* * *

Emerging from the twisted tunnel, Link finally arrived at the big boss, the great guardian, the Great Deku Tree. It looked cold, as if dying.

"Deku Tree!" Link shouted. "Please, answer me! Are you all right?"

" **Oh. Navi. Thou hast returned. Link, welcome!** "

Navi turned a benevolent shade of dark blue as Link inspected the great oak for any more signs of ill.

" **Hark to what I, the Deku Tree, am about to bid thee.** " continued the Great Deku Tree. The way it started loudly speaking as Link was in deep thought made the boy jump a little. " **Thy slumb'r these past moons wilt has't been restless and full of nightmares.** "

"Yes, sir. They have." replied Link as he bowed to the tree. "All the same one."

" **As the s'rvants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those comptible to it. Verily, thou hast felt it.** "

"Great Deku Tree." began Link. He kneeled down to his fatherly figure. "What did you call me here for? What has happened to you?"

" **Link... The timeth hast come to test thy courage. I has't been curs'd. I need thee to break the beshrew with thy wisdom and courage.** " continued the tree. His voice noticeably broke as he said this.

"Cursed? Who did it? Who did this to you?" demanded Link. He raised his voice up to triple his usual volume, which he rarely ever did. Not even with Mido's constant teasing.

" **Doth not w'rry yourself over 't. T's not imp'rtant now. Thee wilt dispel the beshrew. Then I can bid thee everything.** "

All Link could do was look down. "I… I can't. I… I'm not a fighter. I'm… I'm..."

As much as he tried to fight it, a few tears slipped out. Gently moving one of his branches, the Great Deku Tree positioned a leaf on his face.

" **Prithee. Doth not worry f'r me. The blood of a hero is running through thee as we speaketh. Thou art fated to do this.** "

Navi drifted closer to her new friend. "Please, Link. You can do this. You're brave. Much braver than that little muppet from earlier. Would you rather have someone like him do it and mess it up in the process?" She gave him a reassuring touch on the side of the face. "I believe in you."

" **As doth I. Shall thee und'rtake this task?**

…

…

…

Deafening silence.

All was silent as Link slowly made his decision. Wrestling with his doubts, terrified what could happen, he finally responded.

"Yes."

"Yes!" cried Navi before quickly stopping herself. "Sorry about that."

" **Very well. Take this blade, the same blade thee wielded yest'rday, and enter. Show the foe nay fear. May thee beest victorious.** "

The Great Deku Tree opened the cluster of leaves that lay on the branch it had comforted Link with, revealing the sword that was once used as a fire poker on the inside. It was undoubtedly the same one, though. There were a few brown and black stains on it from the heat. Not sure of what to think of this, Link slowly took it without really thinking of anything. The Great Deku Tree withdrew its branch.

" **I shalt wait f'r thy successful return back here.** "

With that, the Great Deku Tree lowered the large, wooden plate it used as a mouth. Down into the ground it went as bark and cobwebs broke apart and clattered to the floor below.

"Right." murmured Link. "All or nothing."

With Navi shivering at his shoulder, he stared at the opening of the tree. As he gazed into it, he noticed that he couldn't see anything inside. It was like staring into a void.

Staring at it made Link feel as if he was in a black void. He forgot that he was in the forest at all. As if in a trance, he looked behind himself to see if anyone had followed him.

Then he disappeared into the Great Deku Tree.

* * *

The boy was still mentally numb over what had happened. The attack on the forest, getting burned, getting a fairy, getting summoned and getting **plunged into darkness**. The Deku Tree was really dark. It was blacker than burned dinner, blacker than coal, **blacker than the blackest black.**

Navi's little blue light floated in front of Link. "Hey!"

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** **A** **MONSTER!** "

Link leaped into the air and crashed to the floor on his bottom. **The darkness** had caused quite some paranoia.

"Link, calm down! It's just me! Navi! There's no need to worry!" said the fairy as she landed on Link's nose. Link couldn't help but notice that she sounded slightly amused.

"Darn it, Navi! I thought you were a monster! Don't scare me like that!" hissed Link as he stood up and brushed himself over.

"How did I scare you? I'm always low-key! I can't have been that bad!"

"That was about as low-key as a match in a barrel of Fern Fireworks!"

The two paused a bit **in the darkness of the Great Deku Tree**. Even though Navi was almost literally a flying lantern, the **blackness** was getting to them. No sound, no sight, no nothing. Sensory deprivation.

"I'm sorry." murmured Navi, nuzzling herself against Link. "I'll try and zip it now."

"Oh, you don't need to go that far! Your help could be very helpful! Just… give me some warning."

To try and show that he wasn't angry, Link cupped the little fairy in his hand.

Navi relaxed her wings a little. "T-thank you. Sorry."

* * *

Finally finishing up in the mess house, Saria solemnly stepped out through the chain links made to keep the insects out.

A mulberry pie. She had planned to make one for pudding yesterday, but the giant spider showed up at the absolute worst time possible and turned the entire thing into a mosh pit.

"Why?" she wept into her hand to avoid it getting into her pie. "Every time we try to do SOMETHING nice for him, something comes and… messes it all up! Just like that! All our effort! And what's happened to the Great Deku Tree? Why does it need him?"

She shuffled towards her house to eat the pie she made alone. On the way, she passed by a posse of people, talking up a storm.

"Yeah, gone! Just like that! I haven't seen him in a while now. Must have gone jumping off high places like he usually does!" came a snort from the middle of the pack.

" _What?"_ Saria turned around, unbeknownst to the other people that were talking. In the middle was… Mido. Around him was the same group of kids that always hung out with him. Link had speculated several times that they didn't actually like him, they just stuck around because they were all afraid.

"So, how would you rate your chances now?" asked one of the members of Mido's posse. The others all panted for a response like a bunch of dogs waiting to be fed.

"Eh, I'd say that with him out of the way, I can finally stand up to-"

" **OI!** "

Saria's piercing voice cut through the entire group like a knife. Several stepped back out of fright, leaving Mido exposed.

Sorry, did I say "Mido"? I meant "the bullseye".

 **SPLAT!**

Before Mido could ask who dared to interrupt him, he had a face full of pie crust and mulberries. The impact of the throw knocked him to the ground. Several members of his gang ran away screaming. Others backed, stumbled on the lip of a wildlife trough and tumbled straight in. Mido just sat there, stunned from impact.

Saria seized a fistful of his tunic, her eyes containing no signs of benevolence for the first time in her life. "Don't… you… DARE… EVER say anything like that about Link again, do you hear? DO YOU?"

Crikey!

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you! You DON'T say things like that about my friends!" hissed Saria, dragging Mido closer and almost colliding with his head.

"Well… I wasn't… You see… I…" Mido spluttered, but he found himself unable to speak properly.

"Oh, you can't put a sentence together? Maybe now you'll stop making fun of Link when he's overcome by emotion and can't talk. Now, think about what you've said."

"But… why? What will that do?"

"It will come back to haunt you later on."

Finally, Saria dumped Mido back on the floor. His face was still covered in mulberries, red sauce and pastry and his dignity was washed away by the pie. Like a dragon, Saria stomped back home, hissing and mumbling all the way.

Aaaand I think it's time we switch perspectives. It's probably calmer in the Great Deku Tree than over here.

* * *

Link and Navi had been making progress. Link had found a ladder that lead up to a wooden boardwalk. This spiralled up into the very top of the tree, as Link had found out with Navi's light.

"Are we near the top yet?" whispered Link to Navi. She turned to face him.

"Almost there. Just keep against the wall. You don't want to fall from this height."

"This tree is so much bigger on the inside! We've been trekking for about a minute now! I can't even see the bottom!" whispered Link. He squinted hard to try and adjust his eyes to the darkness but no matter what he did, nothing happened. Still **pitch black**.

Link trotted up and up and up in one massive spiral until finally, the path evened out. The hike was over.

"At last!" Link panted as he flopped in a heap on the floor.

"Don't relax yet." started Navi. "Who knows what's hiding in here? Ever heard of Skulltulas?"

This name caused Link to quiver profusely. It wasn't even cold and he still couldn't stop shaking and quaking. "Skulltulas? Oh no. Not them. The Great Deku Tree always tells us about Skulltulas. Big spiders. They use skulls as their shells. Are they here? Can you tell?"

Link stared up at his fairy, scared stiff. Slowly, her glow changed to a lemon-like yellow.

"Are you… scared? What's going on?" Link wheezed. The stress of a Skulltula had made his throat dry out completely. It was now like a desert. His voice box was barely working.

"There's a monster nearby. Link… watch out!"

Well, that doesn't help with the nerves, does it? Link was still new to this whole fighting lark, despite countless disputes with Mido. "What is it? What is it? Please, what is it?"

"Watch out!"

Almost instantly, Navi shot behind Link like a bullet, leaving a yellow trail of light behind her. Link's eyes followed her to the sound of sickening scuttling.

A Skulltula. A spider about the height of a chain, scurrying towards Link, wearing a skull on its back as if it were a hermit crab. An extremely questionable hermit crab, at that. Hissing like a cat, it advanced on Link, who was surprisingly calm, despite his fears earlier. He simply held the Kokiri Sword directly at its face, unflinching.

Is this the same guy as from a few seconds ago?

The Skulltula continued pattering towards him, backing him into a wall behind. Finally, it pounced like a tiger. With an almighty shout, Link batted it away with his sword. Like a golf ball, the Skulltula sailed through the air into the distance. Like a golf ball, it completely vanished from sight.

"Well done!" praised Navi as her blue colour returned. "You went from terrified to terrifying in just a few seconds!"

"You helped too." replied Link as he shrugged and relaxed his armed arm.

"What?" Navi squeaked as she zipped into the air in surprise. "How?"

"Well… I have difficulty focusing on opponents or people sometimes. My eyes stray away from each other and I can't concentrate. With you floating around the spider like that… that didn't happen."

Slowly, Navi started to turn yellow again. "Link..." she quaked. "It's back!"

Before Link could react, the Skulltula, now with a crack across its bony back, scuttled towards him at a very high speed. Just as Link turned around, it leaped into the air, shrieking all the way, and pinned him to the floor like a bowling pin against a skittle.

" **AAAARGH! It's got me! I'm stuck!** " Link cried as he thrashed under the weight of the eight-legged monster. It's black and yellow striped legs dug into his skin as its jaws snapped inches away from his face. "Get it off! Get it off!"

"Link! Kick it or something!" suggested Navi, darting in circles like a cornered mouse. She tried ramming into the Skulltula, but she was simply to light to budge it.

"I can't! I can't! I can't!"

Too busy panicking at the great big spider pinning him down like an overweight policeman, Link did not notice the sound of spitting from off to the side. With an almighty crash, the spider flew off of Link and went hissing down into **complete and utter blackness**.

 **CRACK.**

"Who did that?" whispered Link as he clutched his sides. The monster being forcefully separated from like that had left deep scratches on his sides. He looked like he had been attacked by a tiger.

"That was a Deku Nut." Navi replied as she slowly flew in the direction of where the shot had come from. "They are the favoured projectiles of Deku Scrubs. I think one took a liking to you, Link, because he just saved your life."

"Indeed I did."

Link and Navi both turned to look into a small alcove where that voice came from. Piercing through the **dark** was a pair of orange, glowing eyes. The figure stepped out of the **black void** and marched straight towards Link, his eyes shining like a jack-o-lantern.

"Thank you for that." said Link, very simply.

"That's no trouble. I know exactly why you're here and what you're doing. Just the least I could do."

The creature spoke in a very suave, upper-class voice. It was as if he was some kind of lord. He certainly didn't look like one. He was entirely made of wood with a wide spout as a mouth and a pile of leaves as hair.

"If you don't mind telling, where is the source of this 'curse' that is effecting the Great Deku Tree?" asked Navi. As she asked, she turned a thoughtful shade of green.

"I am a Deku Scrub, a servant to the Great Deku Tree. Of course I don't mind. In fact, I'd be perfectly happy!" With that, the Deku Scrub blinked and with a flash, his eyes got even brighter. It shone a beam of light past Link. "See that ledge there?" he asked Link. Shielding his eyes from the brightness, Link turned around and looked at what the Deku Scrub was illuminating. A little, wooden ledge that extended out to the middle of the tree. "That leads directly down to a large web that blocks the entrance to the curse. Break the web with a fall and the web shall break your fall."

"I… don't know what that is supposed to mean." Navi droned in monotone.

"Face the height and it will be all right."

With that, the Deku Scrub began to spin on the spot. As if he were a drill, he burrowed into the floor.

"'Break the web with a fall and the web shall break your fall'? 'Face the height and it will be all right'? I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means."

Link slowly stepped onto the wooden ledge, Navi flying in front of him so he could see where he was going. "Unfortunately… I think it does." Link replied. He stood at the very edge of the diving board. He looked posed to make a leap…

* * *

"I've had it just about up to here with that boy!"

Mido stomped through the little cave that lead to the Great Deku Tree's meadow, wiping the leftover debris of sauce, mulberries and pastry from his face and hair.

"I was just talking about one of my mates wandering off and my chances of winning the game of tag, but she's just so into him! I talk about something perfectly innocent and all I get is a pie in the eye!"

Mido and Noi came bursting through a layer of vines, the latter still trying to suppress her laughter from Mido's pie pummeling.

"Oh, look! He's gone inside the Great Deku Tree! Whatever does he need to go in there for?"

Still trying to stop laughing, Noi remembered Saria's rage and stopped immediately. Then she began to theorise. "Well, the Great Deku Tree is apparently dying. Link's probably in there trying to find a solution."

"Oh, for goodness sake! It can't be that hard! I'm sure I can do it myself!" huffed Mido and, before Noi could stop him, he had gone stomping inside himself into the **pitch black**.

* * *

Not saying a word or even screaming, Link plummeted through the air like a professional diver. It wasn't even that scary. Mostly because he couldn't see anything. Finally, he noticed a bright light out of the corner of his eye.

That was where he had come from.

Because of the small bit of light being produced, Link could see that, just as the Deku Scrub had told him, there was a giant web stretching across the middle of the floor.

"Here we go!" shouted Link as he got closer and closer to the trampoline web before finally:

 **SNAP!**

"Did you hear that?"

Having used a piece of flint and steel to light up a stick, Mido walked through the insides of the Great Deku Tree, hardly able to see. "Well, Noi, I kind of did hear a whoosh and a snap just then. Maybe I just stepped on something."

Turning green like Navi did, Noi curiously flittered to something she had seen moving in the corner of her vision. "What's this?" she muttered. Mido followed his fairy and moved his torch close.

Broken pieces of skull, limp legs, no signs of movement… "Eww! That's disgusting!" cried Mido's fairy as she recoiled and hid behind her master. The remains of a Skulltula were strewn all over the floor. Little shards of skull were everywhere, like a freshly broken window. Mido almost swore that he could see it moving.

"Well, that explains the noise we heard earlier." muttered Mido as he kicked the corpse aside. "Come on, curses don't cure themselves." He walked on ahead, straight towards the hole that Link had made by landing on the web.

"Look out!" shrieked Noi. "There's a hole!"

"A hole?" Mido snorted, looking back at his fairy incredulously. "A hole in my plans? I don't think so! My plan is foolproof!"

"No! I meant-"

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!** "

Noi sighed as Mido disappeared into the hole and into the catacombs of the Great Deku Tree before she followed him down.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the day:**_

* * *

" _When you spend so long trapped in darkness, you find that the darkness begins to stare back."_


	5. Torn Apart

To his surprise, Link was not dead. Instead, he was floating face down in a deep body of water within the catacombs of the Great Deku Tree. He was even holding the Kokiri Sword after all that.

"Link! LINK!" called Navi. "Answer me! Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Link rolled over so he was facing up and could breathe. His blank eyes stared up back through the hole he had just fallen through. The web had caught him. It had saved his life. "Just a little shaken, that's all."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaa **aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!** "

"Can you hear that?" Navi asked. Link looked up through the hole he had come from. It may have just been an effect of the **dark** , but he could see a red dot flying down after them. A fairy. She was illuminating a shape that was falling through the air, straight at Navi.

"Look out!" Link shoved Navi out the way of the falling figure and instead, he was the one who got pancaked. The two spiralled around underwater, thrashing wildly to get to the surface. Grabbing at tunics, pulling and kicking before they finally pierced the surface. Beside Navi was a red fairy.

"Noi? What are you doing here?" choked Link as he spat out a mouthful of water. The figure behind him seized him by the tunic.

Again.

"What are you doing in the Great Deku Tree?" it hissed.

"Mido? Well… I could ask the same thing! I was summoned by the tree to get rid of a curse! What business do you have here?"

"It must be EASY to make this tree better! If he ordered you in to do it, then anyone can!"

"Right, then… Hey, what did you just say about me?"

"If you can do something, anyone can." repeated Mido through gritted teeth. Navi backed away a little, as did Noi. They didn't like confrontation.

To make matters worse, Link took a paddle forwards and floated eye-to-eye with Mido. "Say that to my face, you ninny!"

Navi and Noi both flew down and backed their respective boys away with bright lights.

"All right, all right! That's enough! This is not the time!" nagged Navi. Link squinted at her intense light.

"She's right!" chided Noi, almost touching Mido from how close she was to him. "For now, you'll have to put your differences aside and work together!"

"What?" exclaimed the two boys simultaneously.

A long pause followed. The two stared at each other's fairies for a solid fifteen seconds before they both nodded in agreement.

"Well… I suppose we could try and make it work." reasoned Link. He shrugged a little as he spoke.

"I think that's-"

 **HisssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

Suddenly, a piercing noise rippled the water behind them. It somehow caused Link to freeze up as if the water temperature had suddenly dropped by several dozens.

"What was that noise?" shivered Link as a chilling presence nearly made him sink into the water. Navi started to turn yellow again.

"Link… I can sense something nearby. It's… It's a..."

Before she could finish her sentence, all the colour drained from Mido's face like a painting in a rainstorm.

"Oh, no. Oh, no. OH, NO. Link, run. Don't look behind you, just run! I mean swim!"

Of course, there's nothing more likely to make a child look somewhere than being told not to look in that direction. As an instinct, Link whirled around. Behind him was a toothy grin and a pair of shiny, green eyes.

" **AAAAAAAAARGH! A DEKUDILE!** "

Link and Mido as well as Navi and Noi wasted no time in turning around and zooming off in the other direction. In the time it took you to read that sentence, they had reached a shore. The Dekudile was closing in on them fast, its blue scales sliding against each other, its sharp teeth snapping like a mouse trap, its yellow legs flipping backwards and forwards, its brain thinking only one word:

" _Food!"_

Both Link and Mido surveyed the area desperately as they tried to find somewhere to escape to. Finally, Mido eyed a tall ledge that lead into a cave.

"Link, the ledge! Over there!" he shouted, forcefully turning Link in that direction. Not even running with him, Mido bolted across the sandy shore before taking a running leap at the ledge. Just about wrapping his fingertips over the top, he ran up the rest of the wall, got up and was about to take off through the cave that lay at the top before Noi and Navi both swooped in front of him. "Hey, what are you doing? That crazy crook crocodile is going to get us!" snapped Mido at the two fairies. Navi turned red with anger, matching Noi's natural colour.

"'Us'? What do you mean 'us'? You forgot about Link!" blasted Link's fairy.

"Oh! Whoops!" Mido reacted as if he had just dropped a crumb of food at the dinner table. Quickly going back to the edge, he crouched down a bit. "Link, what are you doing? Run for it!"

"I can't!" was Link's reply over the sound of snapping jaws. "I can't jump that high!"

" _Must I do everything myself?"_ "Fine, then. just run at the ledge and I'll catch you!"

For a moment, Link wasn't sure if his old tyrant was trustworthy with this but then realised that even Mido wouldn't drop him, at least not on purpose. "All right, coming!"

Poking at the ravenous reptile with his sword to try and drive it off, Link finally dashed to the side with a burst of speed, hurled the Kokiri Sword up to Mido's ledge and jumped as high and fast as he could. The Dekudile darted after him, its mouth wide open. Pretty much running up the wall, Mido grabbed Link by the arm, twisting the skin quite a bit, but he was able to pull Link up from the snapping mouth of the Dekudile below. For a moment, he sprawled on the floor but Mido almost immediately yanked him to his feet.

"Now's no time for a nap! Run! What if it can climb?"

As the Dekudile clapped its jaws, Link and Mido took off across the elevated piece of ground and into a tunnel, with Link picking his sword up off the floor as he went.

* * *

"It's so dark in here! I can't see my hand in front of my face!"

"Hey! That's my face!"

"Oh. Sorry! We need to get some light!"

Link and Mido had been travelling through this tunnel for seven minutes now, **total darkness** , total silence, total paranoia. That Dekudile could have been right behind them right now.

"Noi..." started Mido, "can you get any brighter?"

Noi sighed and rolled her eyes, not that anyone could see that last part for her glow. "Am I a fairy or a red lantern? I can't go any brighter than this!"

"Cracking(!)" groaned Link. "I can't see a bloomin' thing and I'm slowly going mad! We need to get through this tunnel as fast as we can!"

"For once, agreed."

With that, Link and Mido quickened the pace. Faster, faster, faster-

" **STOP!** "

The sudden shout from ahead nearly made the boys trip. Immediately, they did as they were told.

Unintentionally.

"Who are you two? Explain yourself! The Great Gohma is not allowing visitors right now. ESPECIALLY not assassins like you."

The raspy, deep voice ahead was accompanied by a line of orange, glowing eyes opening and staring straight at the kids.

"Link!" whispered Navi as the eyes moved up and down towards them. "Those are Violent Scrubs! They are hostile Scrubs that hate Deku Scrubs! They swear allegiance to any vile ruler that comes into place! What are you going to do?"

Before he could respond, Link felt a pair of wooded arms wrapping around his own. "Queen Gohma will enjoy every second of spinning you into a web and slowly eating you until nothing remains!"

Another long, skinny arm shot through the air to try and strike Link. With Link ducking out of the way, it whizzed overhead...

 **SMACK!**

and nailed Mido instead. He collapsed in a heap as Noi stayed still in shock while the Violent Scrub tried to hold him up.

" **RESISTANCE! WE HAVE RESISTANCE! KNOCK HIM OUT!** " bellowed one of the Violent Scrubs. The one holding him attempted to whip him in the back of the head, but Link leaned downwards, crashing out of its grasp. Leaping to his feet, Link brandished his sword at the attacking trees. Now that he had a good look at them, he could see that they were much taller than Deku Scrubs. They had no leaves on their heads and they were a lot skinnier.

" **Puh! Puh!** " One of the Violent Scrubs launched two Deku Nuts at Link, who sliced them apart with the greatest of ease. Using his sword as a platform, Link leaped over the head of an attacker and swung, but the Scrub was way too fast. It flipped out the way and landed in a crowd with the others, one of which had an unconscious Mido slung over its shoulder.

"Blind him." ordered one of the enemies very calmly as if they knew that it would work with no doubts. All simultaneously flashed their eyes at him. The bright flash that resulted made Link shut his eyes. As a result…

 **WHACK!**

* * *

Fidgeting uncomfortably on a stool, Saria twiddled her thumbs. It looked like they were wrestling with each other. Grapple, Pin, Giant Swing, German Suplex, Argentine Backbreaker Rack, Chokeslam, DING DING DING!

Still, she had a lot on her mind. Had she been too harsh on Mido? She hadn't seen him in a while. Had he gone to sulk or…

"Did he go chasing after Link?" mused the girl, pulling herself off her stool. "Oh, that silly boy. What are we going to do with him?"

Saria quickly found her face turning red and hot with stress . "I'd… I'd better go outside and get some fresh air! That'll make me feel better! Right?"

Saria stepped out of her-

 **CRUNCH.**

Well, that isn't right, is it? Let's try that again, shall we? Saria stepped outside into-

 **CRUNCH.**

OK, whichever one of you readers is eating crisps at the computer, can you stop? It's-

 **CRUNCH.**

Wait, that crunching isn't you lot? Well, what is it?

"Saria! Saria!"

Saria looked over in the direction of a local villager running across the grass to her. "Saria! What's happening to the plant life?"

"I don't know? What IS happening to the plants?" replied Saria, taking a step. The dry grass crunched underfoot. Looking around, she could see several flora in the forest. All of them gasped and groaned in thirst in front of confused and concerned Kokiri before them. No doubt about it, the villager was right.

 **CRUNCH.**

"It's all dying! What's happening?" panicked the villager. He was clearly very upset. Saria gave him a gentle hug.

"Don't panic, maybe this is why Link went to see the Great Deku Tree. Who knows?"

Unbeknownst to her, the potted plant residing in her house began to dry up and wilt, despite having been watered just minutes ago.

* * *

"Ow… my bonce..." moaned Mido as he stirred.

"Agh… Are you OK, Mido?" gurgled Noi from inside Mido's cap. She tried flittering out but as she loosened it, it went flying upwards.

"What? Has gravity gone the wrong way or something?" mused Noi as she looked around the room. Beside her was her master, hanging by his legs from the-

"Wait a minute..."

Link soon found himself shaken awake and having a bright light shine in his face.

"Navi? What on earth is going on? Why are you flying upside down?" Link burbled at his fairy. She simply tilted to one side, confused.

"You're definitely the one upside down!"

"Huh?"

Link looked up. Or should I say, down.

Yep, somehow he was upside down, suspended from the ceiling. He swung like a piece of meat above the marshy floor below, which was coated with mist. Upon trying to move his arms, he found that they were stuck fast, fastened to his side.

He had been webbed up. So had Mido.

They looked like vegan Cornish pasties.

"Aargh!" Mido seethed. He beginning to swing back and forth in a vain attempt to break free. "Link, what are you doing? Swing! It's our only chance!"

Link remained cool and calm. "Navi, can you try and find my sword? Is it down there?"

"I'll check for you! I'm pretty sure those Scrubs from earlier took it and then dropped it once they dumped you in here because they deemed it useless." Navi flew downwards, keeping Link firmly in her sights. Once she reached the bottom, she scanned it like a patrol helicopter circling prison grounds. "Now, where did he put it?"

"Noi, help undo these knots! Maybe that will do something!" Mido ordered. Not even saying anything, his fairy fluttered over and began struggling with his bonds.

It was impossible. It was like tying up a pair of laces without them coming undone within three steps. "They're really well done up, I'll give them that!" she strained, finally managing to undo one simple reef knot.

"Found it!" came a shout from below. Fighting not to pass out from the blood that was now sprinting to his head, Link looked down at the floor until he spotted Navi's glow.

"Would you mind trying to bring it up here, please?" Link called down to Navi. With a little stutter of anticipation, Navi grabbed the handle and tried to flitter upwards.

It was like trying to pick up a giant tree branch. Navi strained and gasped under the weight of the sword (which was only about the length of a wooden drumstick) as she tried to bring it up. "It's too heavy!" grunted the fairy as she made little progress. "I can't lift it!"

"Yes you can! I believe you can do it! Just pull it up! Keep it even!"

By Link's encouragement, Navi held the sword in a way so that the blade wasn't facing the floor. With this method, she found it much easier to fly. She carried the sword up and up and up until finally, she reached Link. "Okay, take it! Cut yourself free, or something!"

"Great!" said Link with a victorious smile as he tried to reach out and take his weapon.

One problem, though.

His arms were pinned to his sides by the web.

"Oh, bum! I didn't think this through! I'm stuck! I can't get it!"

"Oh, you are having a laugh!" moaned Mido. "So, what you're saying is… WE'RE STUFFED!"

 **Scratch.**

It may have just been them going mad, but both of them heard the sound of metal against wood.

"Did you hear that?" Link bought his voice down to a whisper in case the sound was real.

"What, that scratching noise? It's just an insect or something!" Despite the fear and danger he felt, Mido did not bring his voice down.

"An insect made of metal?"

"Well, we have Crust Spiders around, so maybe-"

 **Scratch, scratch.**

"Okay, that's definitely a metal noise, or something. We need to escape and-"

 **Scratch, scratch, scratch!**

Still holding up the Kokiri Sword, Navi fluttered over to Mido's fairy. "Noi, was it? I need your help here."

 **Shriiiiiieeeeee…**

The drawn-out sound of metal scraping on wood filled the room. "Right away! Right away! What do you need?" gibbered Noi. She flew straight up into Navi's face in desperation. The noises were grating on everyone now. "Please hurry, tell me!"

"All right, all right! Just calm down. I need you to help untie my partner's hands from the string so he can cut himself and Mido free!"

"What?" hissed Mido. He glared at Noi in disapproval. "You're MY fairy. You'll undo me first!" Both Navi and Noi turned to him, Navi turning red again.

"Are you able to use a sword?" snapped both the fairies. The answer was no. No, he wasn't. Last time he wielded a stick like a sword, he ended up tipping himself over. Mido simply shut up and shook his head. "I thought as much. Now, come on. Let's go."

 **Hisssssssss...**

With Navi still holding the Kokiri sword up, Noi floated to Link. "Are you right or left handed?" she asked. She sounded calm and benevolent, like Navi. Link had never heard her like this before, but it managed to calm him down and relax him.

"Left."

"Left, left, left. I'm in front of you… so… that must be on my right!"

Noi flew over to her right and began rooting through the webs in that area. Link's arm was clearly visible, only bound by a few strings.

"Oh, I know how to undo this type of knot! It's easy to undo unless you're tied up by it. Right..."

With that, Noi got to work. She flapped in and out of sight, disappearing between layers of web. "Fairies cannot be snared by webs!" she declared, "We adapted to that years ago!"

Finally, half of the crust holding Link in place was gone. Noi flittered around him, dropping pieces of web. "Hold on, Mido. I'll do you now." she assured as she returned to her master. Unfortunately, the Violent Scrubs had done him up much more thoroughly, so there was no way that a fairy would be able to help.

 **Screeeeeeeeeeee...**

"Link!" huffed Navi. The weight of Link's weapon was fast becoming too much to handle. After hearing his name, the boy moved his free arm around to try and rid it of the killing pins and needles. "Your sword!"

Navi passed the Kokiri Sword over to Link, sighing in relief as she did so. It felt like taking off ski boots after a whole day of skiing. She felt like she was on the moon: completely weightless."

Holding his breath and closing his eyes, Link swung his sword at the string hanging him from the ceiling and he instantly felt himself falling.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!** "

 **SPLAAAASH!**

Link came crashing to the floor. HARD. The numerous puddles of water and his leftover web softened the fall for him, but not by much.

Speaking of the web, it didn't quite mix with the water. It immediately lost its stickiness, allowing Link to wriggle his way out.

"Oh, great(!)" groaned Mido, still hanging upside down from the ceiling. "Now, how do you plan to get me down?"

"I'm going to throw this sword!" called Link up to him.

" **ARE YOU INSANE?** "

No, that was not Mido, surprisingly. It was, in fact, Navi. "Don't throw that!" she hissed, "You're going to have someone's eye out!"

 **HisssssSSSSSSSSSS!**

Like a hostile Dekudile, an unseen presence in the room let loose a bone-chilling hiss. Mido immediately started thrashing furiously in his web. His face turned several shades of yellow, then purple as if he were a chameleon.

"Link, don't listen to her! Do it! DO IT! PLEASE! IT'S GETTING CLOSER!"

Not saying a word out of sheer panic, Link lifted the Kokiri Sword over his head in preparation to throw it-

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

-before immediately being thrown to the floor by a massive quake. Luckily, this caused the string suspending Mido in the air to snap. Without even enough time to scream, Mido just gasped as he landed in a heap on the floor.

Unluckily, the cause of the quake was right behind them.

A white, bloodshot eyeball with a red iris.

The monster from the party last night.

The monstrous spider narrowed its eye. Blood pumped through the red lines on its eye and into the red iris. Its entire eye lit up like a blood-covered lightbulb, lighting up the entire room with a blood red hue.

"It's you again!" growled Link as he readied himself. He was still furious over this thing cursing the Great Deku Tree and ruining his special day, but he was more mad about the former.

This was it.

The Scourge of the Great Deku Tree:

 **QUEEN GOHMA.**

* * *

"Link, focus on me!" commanded Navi as she turned yellow. Like a moth drawn to a light, she flew over to the spider.

"Navi, stay back!" Link barked as the spider's eye began following her. It narrowed in anger again.

"Navi, don't!" joined Mido. "You're going to get yourself killed!"

With a piercing screech, Gohma slashed her metallic arm at Link, who was so focused on Navi that he had forgotten that the monster was after him. His quick reactions allowed him to leap up and out of the way of the bladed forearm. Grunting with a very masculine voice, Gohma kept swinging her forearms, standing on four of her other legs. Navi flew in her vision, disorientating her and making her attacks very easy to dodge for Link, who only had to focus on Navi.

His trick was working. When he would try and focus on a target by himself, his eyes would drift apart. Sticking up his index finger and holding it between his eyes would temporarily help, but he would soon find it happening again. With Navi, Link could focus on his target clear as day. Maybe it was because he really didn't want the monster hurting her but still, it worked.

"Link, it's eye!" shouted Mido as he backed away from the insectoid queen. "It's eye is its weakness!"

"I know! Saria told me!" was the reply from Link as he rolled back from another attack. He back of Gohma's forearms were very sharp, so they were essentially giant swords. Twisting them to get the sharp end facing Link, Gohma kept on the offence.

"Shoot it! Throw a rock at it or something!"

" **GOOOOOH!** "

With a deep roar, Gohma thrust forwards with the blunt end of her forearm. Link wasn't fast enough to dodge this one and it hit him straight in the chest. Winded, he skidded back and ended up bowling over Mido, who was still backing out of the fight. Luckily, Link suffered no cuts since Gohma had used the blunt end of her arm. Navi abandoned Gohma to fly to Link's aid. "No! Link, where did it hit you?"

"Link, what are you doing? Shoot it in the eye! Throw something!" Mido fumed as he tossed Link off of him and threw him to his feet.

"I'll throw you in a minute!"

Not wanting to argue any further, Link drew his slingshot, picked up a stone that lay on the floor and took aim.

 **TWOIIING!**

Once the centre of the slingshot was aligned with Gohma's eye, he let go of the bungee rope. Like a bullet, the stone shot through the air and burrowed itself into…

her eyelid.

Gohma had closed her eyelid as she saw the stone sailing towards her. The fleshiness of the eyelid caused the projectile to bounce straight back at the two.

"Heads up!" cried Link, throwing himself to the floor. Mido didn't quite take the warning fast enough and the zipping piece of rock knocked him square in the face.

"OW!" he shouted as he clutched his forehead and stepped back a little. Gohma had a twisted, intimidating laugh at his misfortune.

" **He he he he he...** "

When the coast was clear, Link hauled himself up and ran at the beast once more. The plan was to…

um…

The plan was…

...nothing. No plans. What was this thing's weakness? His only bet was to wear it out.

Gohma slashed and stabbed with her forearms and hooked legs, respectively. Link still managed to evade everything she threw at him. He was already doing much better than back in the forest. At the same time, however, he was making more progress back there than here. Back in the forest, Gohma had fired a laser that made its eye turn blue. This was what opened her up to attack. He needed her to do that again so that he could snipe her eye with his slingshot.

" **Hee! Hee! Hoo! Dooh! Noigh!** "

Gohma continued with her deep shouting, raking her legs across the floor to try and grate Link into slowing down. This didn't work at all, as he was too focused on the yellow Navi. Gohma crossed both her arms in opposite directions and unleashed a double slash, which was too big to jump. Navi simply flew above it, but Link leaped backwards and skidded on his back in the water.

"Link! A word in your ear!"

At first, Link thought that this was Navi, but she had stopped focusing on Gohma once more. Now she was flittering towards…

Noi.

"What is it?" Link yanked himself up as Mido grabbed hold of a bigger stone and shoved it into his hands.

"Do you remember yesterday, when the monster fired a laser at you?" he asked with a slight rhetorical tone. Link nodded. "That might have been because it was far away from you. It has no need for that attack if you're up close!"

"That's a good point actually." Link admitted. "Okay, let's try that. Run."

Link stole a quick glance back at Gohma.

She was gone.

"All right, where'd she go?" shouted Mido. "Come out and fight, you crusty, crustacious coward!"

Very slowly, a ravenous shadow swallowed the two, rendering them silhouettes. They looked at each other in confusion before both their fairies looked up and bounced up and down in the air. "RUN!"

Not hesitating, Link gave Mido a shove and ran away as fast as he could as Gohma, who had taken advantage of the distraction and leaped into the air, crashed down to the floor, her entire body sending crashing waves of water splattering all over the room, looking like fresh blood due to the illumination of her eye. Link and Mido continued running as fast as they could as Gohma got right back into action. It started to give chase, but almost instantly stopped once she realised…

...she had projectiles!

Yes! With a devilish grin of her eye, Gohma began focusing immensely on her next attack. With a sickening crack of electricity, her eye flashed and changed colour, causing the entire room to turn blue. Reacting to this, Link whipped around as Mido hid behind a pillar of wood that Gohma had built as a nest for.. something.

Making sure to avoid the nest that Mido hid behind, Gohma let loose a thin laser out of her pupil. It seared across the floor, releasing gasping steam into the air when it brushed puddles.

"Time it..." Navi whispered into Link's ear as the beam hissed its way towards him. "Time it..."

Still, the laser approached him from the side, releasing more and more steam from the nearby puddles. Finally, it got to the point where Link could feel the hot air it produced.

"NOW!"

On Navi's mark, Link leaped the searing shot, skimming over it and landing safely. Immediately nocking his slingshot with the big stone and fired it the second the laser dissipated.

 **THWACK!**

The stone spun through the air and, as Gohma's blue eye locked onto it, it found purchase in her eye. Leaping skyward with a screech of mixed agony and fury, Gohma spun and flipped before landing on her back, the room reverting back to red as her eye changed back to its normal colour. Wasting no time, Link charged at the defenceless queen as she thrashed her legs in the air like she was being bothered by a fly.

" _This is gonna get messy..."_ Navi thought as she, Noi and Mido turned away from Link to avoid being mentally scarred for life at the upcoming event. Even link closed his eyes as he raked Gohma across the lens…

" **AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!** "

Link swung his sword back and forth and back as Gohma thrashed more and more, but… he didn't know if he was doing anything or not. Sure, Gohma was reacting harshly, but his sword didn't seem to be making a dent. All it did was bounce the eyeball about as if it were made of some kind of sturdy jelly.

As Link attacked more and more, Gohma finally drove him away by swinging its bladed legs. Still, Link was satisfied with the progress he had made.

Or… was he? He couldn't tell if he had done anything. Had Gohma been bluffing her pain? She seemed like the cunning type.

"Did you do anything?" called Mido from behind the wooden nest, his back still firmly turned.

"I… don't know!" was Link's reply. Gohma's eye flashed again. Yellow this time, and for a very brief period as well. Upon this flash, a loud rumbling came from inside the hive Mido was hiding behind. It rattled down the wooded tube until, with crashing and splintering shards flying everywhere, a mob of spiders filled the room.

Little larvae of the queen.

"Spiders…" gibbered Mido as they all swarmed in a circle around Link, preventing both escape and intervention. "Why did it have to be spiders?"

Nowhere to run.

No way for Mido to help. Just Link and Gohma.

"Right..." mumbled Link to no one in particular. "All or nothing."

With a scream, he charged straight at Gohma as the larvae cheered her on. Lifting her two front legs off the ground, Gohma delivered some horizontal swipes of various altitudes

" **Hee! Hee! Hoo!** "

Link's sword was able to fend off the evil queen's attacks as he jumped and ducked her swipes. When he saw an opening, Link fired back, somehow managing to knock Gohma back and off balance with several two-handed swings.

Furious with Link's resistance, Gohma raised both metal arms and hooks into the air. Screeching like tyres on tarmac, she began to advance forwards, bringing down her metal arms repeatedly like a pair of guillotines.

" **Hui! Hee! Hmph! Hih! Hee! Hee! Tooh!** "

Link looked back at the congregating crowd of Gohma larvae. They were still forming a circle and Link was still approaching the edge. The spiders at that side all hissed at him as a warning. It was very clear what they and she intended to do. Gohma was trying to corner him.

"Mido, what do I do?" called Link over the wall of creepy crawlies. Mido simply shook his head.

"I don't know! Shoot her again!"

"I can't! She's not using anything that makes her eye go blue!"

"Oh, hold on! I'm coming!" Mido beckoned Noi to his side and then made a running jump at the wall of spiders. With a yell, he flew over the terrors… and landed flat on his face just in front of Link. Not stopping to help, Link kept up his assault. His sword collided with Gohma's massive arms several times. Hooks ripped and tore at him until finally…

 **WHAM!**

He found himself backhanded by Gohma's forearm and then slashed to the floor by a hook. Immediately, blood started emerging from a shallow, but long cut across his torso. Paralysed by the pain, he did nothing as Gohma raised her hook once more for the killing gut while the crowd went wild.

" **Link...** "

The Great Deku Tree's voice sounded in Link's head. Immediately, he rolled to the side as Gohma slammed her hook into the wet floor. The shrieking hatchlings stopped almost immediately. In fact, time seemed to slow down to a fraction of its original speed. The only thing that could move normally was Link. Even his clothes were slowed down as his tunic slowly swished with him.

"Great Deku Tree, is that you?"

" **Aye. 'T's me.** **Link… Look at thy sword.** "

Squinting in confusion, Link raised his sword to his face. It was not like its normal self. It used to just have a metal edge, but it now was bespangled by a green, wild glow.

"What have you done, sir?" breathed Link, inspecting the new detail closely.

" **A sword beam of most wondrous pow'r. I has't did grant 't to thee so thee can escape from this vile monst'r. Gain some height, aim straight and crisp and swing straight down.** "

"' _Gain some height?'"_ thought Link at the Great Deku Tree's instructions. As he thought things through, he felt his tunic hit his side.

Time had reverted to normal.

Gohma was trying to dislodge her hook from the ground as her larvae shrieked in excitement.

He needed to think fast.

" _Gain some height, gain some height, gain some height…"_

 **Chink!**

The crowd of spiders screamed even harder as Gohma dislodged her hook.

Mido pulled himself up, on his hands and knees now.

"Link! Use him! Use him!" cried Navi.

"Right! Mido!" shouted Link as he charged forward, green energy bleeding off of his sword. "Don't move! Stay still!"

Before Mido could even open his mouth to speak, Link jumped, landed on his back and sprung into the air like an armed frog, causing Mido to splatter straight back into the puddle.

Link flew into the air, somehow having jumped taller than Gohma's entire height. Just as he reached the peak of his jump, he raised his sword straight into the air to aim, just as the Great Deku Tree told him to do. Gohma narrowed her eye in suspicion before Link bought his sword straight down. All of the green energy dropped from his sword at once, flying in a thin, green disc that was the size of Gohma herself. Her eye getting even narrower in concentration, she raised her forearms into a cross shape to block the sword beam. Sparks flew as wrinkles surrounded her eyelid. Finally, the sword beam heated up Gohma's forearms to the point where they softened from the temperature. The beam cut through the metal like butter as Gohma's eye widened in horror before, with a satisfying, deep slashing sound, the attack cleaved straight through her and continued on going as if nothing had got in its way in the first place. With both her front arms on the floor and a great big, black line traversing up her body and eye, the queen stared straight ahead, a vacant look in her eye. With a suspenseful pause, she fell apart vertically. The two halves stayed standing as electricity darted between them. The strangest part was that she seemed to have no guts at all. The insides of the beast was literally just black and white, flickering static, like a TV on a blank channel. She didn't even bleed. Her larvae just stayed where they were and looked at her with blank expressions. The same kind worn by the two halves of the queen.

Upon landing and seeing what he had done, Link was absolutely terrified. Even though he wanted to look away, he just couldn't.

"Why, you- I landed on my-" growled Mido, pulling himself up once more. Upon seeing the carnage, he immediately buried himself back into the water. "MY EYES!"

What seemed like an eternity later, Gohma finally exploded in a burst of blue flames. Link and Mido were launched across the room by it, while all the larvae were instantly engulfed by the fire and incinerated.

* * *

Link and Mido had been lying collapsed on the floor for at least an hour by now.

They had done it. The Great Deku Tree was cured and they were both exhausted. They didn't have the time to speak with each other.

At least until they were enveloped by a blue light.

"Link! What's happening to you?" Navi squeaked as she too, started to feel light-headed.

"Noi… I feel weird..." moaned Mido as he started to float up into the air. Link quickly followed, almost unconscious.

With a flash of light, they both vanished.

* * *

When the light had faded, Link found himself gracefully twirling through the air. It made him feel relaxed. He felt like the ribbon of an expert gymnast. He felt safe, relaxed, flexible and rather dizzy.

When he felt ground below his boots, he opened his eyes. There he was, back outside the Great Deku Tree, his mouth now shut.

" **Well done, Link.** "

Snapping out of his drowsiness, the boy stood at attention to show the Great Deku Tree that he was listening.

" **Thou hast verily demonstrated thy courage and extinguished any doubts that yo wouldn't be able to carry out thy wish.** "

Link gave a warmed smile at the Great Deku Tree before giving her the thumbs up. "We did it!"

" **Howev'r, this is n** **ot a time** **f** **o** **r celebrations. First,** **I** **m** **ust tell** **thee... of a** **vile man** **from the des** **'** **rt** **who cast this dreadful** **curse on me.** "

"Wait, that wasn't it?" questioned Navi. Link gave her a look to tell her to calm down.

In seconds, his vision had gone black and was replaced with fire. In the middle… was a man in black armour. He was facing away from Link, his cape flapping in the wind.

" **This evil, vile man ceaselessly uses his sorcerous powers in a vain attempt to find the Sacred Realm, a v'ry heavenly area of most wondrous honour h're in Hyrule.** "

Link was transfixed by the man that stood still ahead of him. He could feel the heat of the fire around him. He could hear all the shouting of men at war around him. He could here…

the Great Deku Tree speaking again.

"' **T is h** **e** **re wh** **e** **re one can find the divine relic, the trif** **o** **rce, which enwheels the essence of the gods.** "

Finally, the barrage of assaulting images stopped. Link gave a strangled gasp and fell to the floor, panting for air.

"Link! Are you all right? What is it? What did you see?" panted Navi. "Who was it?"

"It's… It's..." Unable to properly piece together a sentence, Link reached out his trembling, sweating arm to her. Uneasily, Navi took it and held it up. "It's… him. I've dreamed about him. He always attacks me. It hurts."

" **That 's the man who plagues your dreams. His name… is Ganondorf.** "

Link tried to look up at the Great Deku Tree to listen again, but he was hit with the feeling as if he had just stood up too fast. Intense disorientation. Worse and worse and worse it got until it took over his sight.

Finally, he passed out and crashed to the floor, as did Navi.

When Link woke up, he was in a cloudy void. A cloudy void so empty that Link couldn't tell which way was up. Even with rain falling towards him, how did he know that it wasn't just rising up?

" **Before time began, before spirits and life existed... Three gold** **en** **goddesses descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule...** "

The Great Deku Tree's voice permeated this dream of Link's. He seemed to speak very differently than his usual dialect. Instead of his very dated way of speaking, he spoke… in a way that was very easy to understand. Off in the distance, Link saw three bolts of light flying through the air, each differently coloured. One was red, another was green and the last was blue. As they streaked past Link, he was certain he saw… golden figures inside of them. Golden, female figures.

" **Din, the goddess of power... Nayru, the goddess of wisdom** **and** **Farore, the goddess of courage...** "

As the Great Deku Tree named the three golden women, they all split up and started travelling over what Link thought was just a massive cloud. It was actually a bare planet.

" **Din... With her strong flaming arms, she cultivated the land an** **d** **created the red** **world.** "

The red figure flew to the right of the others and begun to spin and spin and spin. As she did, a giant volcano erupted from the ground, blasting molten rock everywhere. Rocks with the sharpness of razor blades stuck out from the ground, bits of ash covered the air around it,

" **Nayru... Poured her wisdom onto the earth and gave the spirit of la** **w** **to the world.** "

The blue figure flew slightly to the right of the red one. With the moves of an ice skater, she landed on a particularly crusty bit of the planet. She glided along like a swan on a frozen lake, creating water under her feet.

" **Farore... With her rich soul, produced all life forms who would uphold the law.** "

Finally, the green figure flew directly down from Link. Making the motion of watering flowers, the goddess sprouted flowers, ferns, flora, fauna and the Great Deku Tree

" **The three great goddesses, their labours completed, departed for the heavens. And golden sacred triangles remained at the point where the goddesses left the world. Since then, the sacred triangles have become the basis for our world's providence. And, the resting place of the triangles has become the Sacred Realm.** "

Link could not believe what he was seeing! A chill of astonishment made his entire body twitch from the wondrousness of all this. There was more to this world than the forest? This was how it started? But before Link could look around the place, the dream ended and he found himself spreadeagled against the floor. Navi lay beside him, her light extinguished. In no time at all, she lit up like a fairy light and bounced up and down over her partner, who was stirring.

"Link! Link! That was insane! Did you see all that? Did you?" squeaked Navi. Link simply groaned and nodded. Sensory overload had almost got the better of him.

Wasting no time, the Great Deku Tree continued talking, this time in his old dialect.

" **Thou must n'ver allow the man in black to lay his hand on th' Triforce.** "

"No, Great Deku Tree. I won't."

" **Thou must never suffer that man, with his ev'l heart, to enter the Sacred Realm of l'gend.** "

"I shall show no fear."

" **The ev'l man who cast the death curse upon me… and sapped me of my power and life.** "

"Oh!" piped Navi, rising up, "We destroyed that curse! So… you'll be good as new!" One look at the Great Deku Tree's sad expression caught her off guard and her next word sounded much less certain. "Right?" Just by looking at the Deku Tree's sad smile, Link could tell what he was going to say. He knew he was going to say it, but he really didn't want him to. _"Please, no. Please, no. Not him too. Not him too."_

" **Thy eff'rts to break the beshrew w** **e** **'re valiant, but. I wast doom'd bef** **o** **re thee did start. This wast a test to seeth if** **thou were ready for thy quest.** "

A volcano of despair erupted in Link's little heart, an earthquake leaving it torn apart. "No!" he exclaimed. "No! That can't be! We destroyed the curse! I cut it in two! How is it not broken? HOW? You knew, didn't you?"

…

…

…

A long pause by the Great Deku Tree made Link stop and think. With nothing else to do, he just kneeled and broke down.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

Navi silently watched her partner weeping into the grass below. Devastated by the sight, she floated up to the Great Deku Tree's kind eyes. "This can't be true, Great Deku Tree! I can't believe it. Why didn't you tell us what had happened?"

" **As I hath said… this wast only a test. A test f'r what's next to come. The evil wiz'rd cast the death curse and therefore… my end is nigh.** "

At the last sentence, the sky clouded over and turned grey. As if the gods were upset, rain spat from the clouds and battered the floor of the world. Link didn't even notice. Numb with sorrow. Finally, he stopped sobbing.

Silence.

Dead silence.

"' **T is indeed true. I will pass soon. But do not grieve for me. I… have been able to tell… you of these important matters.** "

The tree's voice was now breaking and staling at an alarming rate. He was also no longer using his old dialect. He switched back to Link's.

" **You are both... the final hope of Hyrule. Go to... the castle. Hyrule Castle. Find the... princ...ess… of dest...iny.** **Once I have gone, I recommend… that you carve a shield from the empty tree that is left behind.** **Link.** "

Through the rain, Link raised his head to look at the Great Deku Tree one last time.

" **Take this… stone. The stone so special that the evil man cast the killing curse on me: The Kokiri Emerald** "

Link clenched his fist in fury. First, Ganondorf was presumably the cause for his mother's death. Secondly, he haunted his dreams and attacked him in every one of them. Now he had killed the only father figure Link had ever known. As he squeezed his hand into itself… he felt something hard in there. Opening his hand back up, Link gazed at his palm.

A beautiful stone of green emerald, swirling in a golden sheathe was laying flat in it.

The Kokiri Emerald.

" **Link… O, boy of destiny… It has been an h-h-hon-honour… to call you… family.** "

Oh.

Link felt the waterworks starting back up again. He just couldn't help it. He wasn't prepared to lose another loved one.

" **E-even though… your mother barely knew you… just seeing what you have just done...** "

…

…

…

No. No, no, no. Not this, not now, not here.

" **It would make her incredibly proud.** "

Link had not expected the Great Deku Tree to say this. Taking a quick look at the plant that was left of her, Link burst into ocular waves once more. They just wouldn't stop coming. They were even making new puddles on the ground.

Navi slowly flew back to Link to give her comforts, but both of them stopped when they heard a large rattle shaking the ground. Colour drained from the Great Deku Tree as if it were being encased in cement from above. The dull paintbrush continued to run up the bass of the tree, covering his face and finally…

" **Goodbye…** my children..."

The rest of him.

The Great Deku Tree was as dead as a doornail.

With a little snap, a lone leaf dropped off one of the higher branches. It swayed in the breeze as it was weighed down by the rain before it landed flat in Link's hands.

A tragic memento.

Link slipped the leaf into a pocket on the side of his tunic before he stared at the ground, his face disturbingly covered by his weighted, wet hair.

"...Come on Link." Navi finally broke the silence, giving him a comforting kiss. "Let's go. We need to see to it that his wish is fulfilled."

Navi dragged herself on ahead. Link stayed behind for a moment to give a polite bow to his father before drawing his sword and advancing towards the empty, wooden shell.

* * *

Mostly all of the Kokiri hung around outside of the little cave that lead to the Great Deku Tree's meadow. Saria had told the entire village that Link had gone to see the Great Deku Tree and hadn't come back, so they were all anxiously awaiting his return. It was still raining buckets, as was Link as he slowly walked out of the cave into the crowd, a wooden shield strapped to his back, as was a little sheathe. All of them seemed repelled by him, as usual, but this time it was to give him some room.

"So? Don't keep us in suspense! How did everything go over there?" A fair-haired Kokiri girl stepped out of the crowd towards him. All Link could do was shake his head and sigh, defeated. "Well, the only thing we can do now is move on. You've done all you could."

The girl seemed not at all surprised that their father was gone. In fact, she seemed to expect it. For the first time, she gave Link a little hug and then departed into the crowd.

" **HOI! LINK! WHAT DID YOU DO?** "

Off in the back of the crowd, Link saw several heads moving out the way as one practically feral face shoved through the crowd towards him. When it shoved through the last wall, the boy stomped over to him, backing him against a pond.

"The Great Deku Tree! Did he… Did he die?"

Oh, of course. It just had to be Mido. Just… not now.

"Y-yes. He was doomed from-" stuttered Link, beginning to cry again and this time, not because of the Deku Tree's passing.

" **How could you let a thing like that happen? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! LOONY! BILLY-NO-MATES!** "

 **Smack! SPLASH!**

Link didn't even recognise what he was doing before he had slapped Mido across the face and thrown him over his head and into the pond. The bully emerged, covered in weeds and looking up at Link with fearful eyes. Not one Kokiri or fairy reacted. They all knew he deserved it.

…

…

…

"Thank you." grunted Link as he resisted the urge to draw his sword. Mido's face went from fear to confusion.

"For… for what?" he shivered, half from the cold and half from fear.

"Exactly."

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water."_


	6. Friends Always Know

Leaving the forest. Link didn't know what to think of it, honestly. The Great Deku Tree had always told him that if a Kokiri were to leave the forest, he or she would die.

But he wasn't a true Kokiri. He didn't have to worry about that.

The way out of the forest was through a wooden tunnel that lead out onto a wide rope bridge over a valley in a forest. Several people were dared to make it as far across the bridge as possible, but none made it past halfway.

Somehow faster than he had ever gone before, Link ran out onto the swaying bridge, his boots clattering on the wooden planks. He was fixed on not looking back. His eyes were still wet with tears. He was still soaked from the torrential shower from earlier, which had stopped since he entered the tunnel to the bridge. Navi was flying faster than she had in her life, but she did not call out to Link to slow down. She understood.

Link got halfway across the bridge and ran straight past a girl standing on the side before she spoke to him.

"Link."

Hearing her voice caused Link's brain to send the wrong command. His legs stopped moving and he crashed to floor, skidding to a stop. He didn't even react. He was to ashamed of what he had done to Mido and too upset about what happened to the Great Deku Tree. The only time he moved was when the lone girl helped him up.

Saria.

"I'm… I'm… I'm sorry! It's not what it looks like! I'm just… leaving."

Saria looked at him with kind, sparkling eyes, but also couldn't help them looking sad. "It's OK. I know what happened to the Great Deku Tree. I can tell from your shield."

"Are… are you mad?" Even though Saria was always nothing but kind to Link, he still felt a small chance that she would not be happy with it.

"What? No, it's not your fault! Look, he told you to make a shield out of the tree he left, and you obliged. You did exactly what he wanted."

Looking at her, confused, Link took his shield off his back and inspected it. The shield had now turned brown from grey. The little carving he had done of the Great Deku Tree on the front had now turned a pale, wooden colour, standing out much more than it had when it was new. "How did you know about that?"

"Link… friends always know."

"All right. Thank you. Now… how long have you been waiting here? How did you know?" asked Link, returning his shield to its strap on his back. As he did, Saria lowered her head and took a deep breath, choosing her words.

"I knew you'd leave the forest someday." she said softly, shuffling around with a little anxiety. "Because you're different from me and my other friends."

"You can say that again!" replied Link, trying to find a small smile, "I'm a right nutcase! Just now, I threw not only a wobbly, but… I also threw Mido into the pond because I got mad at something he said."

"Well, I think he deserved it, don't you?"

"...Maybe. I didn't even notice what I'd done until it had happened."

Both children hung their heads down, resulting in a long pause between them, only broken by Saria rummaging in her pocket and pulling out a little, woodwind instrument. Shaped like an oval with a little spout on the top. A green band was strapped around the top like a sweatband. The front had several strategically placed holes peppered into it to allow the player to change notes.

"Link… I want you to take this." Saria's voice broke as she held the instrument out in her hands. "It's a Fairy Ocarina. I made this one a while ago and I wanted to give it to you yesterday, but… you know what happened."

Saria looked like she was really trying her absolute hardest not to cry. If she was, she was hiding it rather well, but it was still rather noticeable. Speechless, Link simply put his hand on top of the ocarina that Saria was giving him. Slowly, she raised her free hand and rested it on top of his.

"When you play this Ocarina… please make sure to remember us. Both me… and the forest!" With the last three words, the girl broke. Link saw her heaving and attempting to hold back and soon, he found his eyes wet with tears once again. Seeing as it cheered him up so well, Link gave Saria a nice hug, despite still not knowing what it was. Still silent, the girl returned the gesture.

"Good luck." uttered Saria when they finally came apart.

The thought of leaving hit Link like an armoured forearm. Feeling more tears attempting to break out, Link's face contorted in terror. Without a word, a goodbye or even a stutter, he turned, broke into a sprint in the other direction and ran out of the other tree stump tunnel, leaving Saria watching from one of the rope supports. _"_ _I'm sorry."_

Feeling her shoulders heaving once more, a lone tear fell through the gap and pattered into the woods below her. "It's OK. I understand."

* * *

Link had heard about what goes on outside the forest during story time with the Great Deku Tree. Link would always nod off and get jolted awake by Saria (or shoved awake if Mido was sat next to him) but now that he was gone, all of those moments seemed precious to him. If he could just have a story from the Great Deku Tree one more time, he would cherish it. He would try his hardest to find the story interesting. He would engage with the talk amongst the other Kokiri afterwards, but the Great Deku Tree had now told everyone a story and never told any more.

After story time, all the kids would get together and discuss what they thought was really outside the walls. Although Link rarely participated, the Kokiri all envisioned themselves:

\- Going fishing for the day in a giant lake and catching the Loch Ness Monster, which the Deku Tree had told them about during his stories about a parallel universe.

\- Climbing a mountain and finding a sasquatch.

\- Hiding on a goods ship and being forced to walk the plank by Violent Scrub pirates as stowaways, only to be rescued by vegetarian sharks.

\- Finding a drain which leads to the parallel universe the Great Deku Tree spoke of and wondering through a gigantic city.

\- Flying through the air on the back of a winged horse.

None of those seemed to be the case.

Giant, sprawling hills filled with dandelions, massive, mellow meadows covered in crops stretching out further than the eye could see. The farmland was all split into different squares separated by hedges, each quadrant being a different colour.

"It's… beautiful." breathed Link, stunned by the beautiful scenery. In the quadratic farm meadows ahead, Link could see several people, all working away at their land. If they were Kokiri, then they would have been a lot harder to see.

Keep in mind, Link had never seen a grown-up before.

"Navi? Why are those people so big?" Link asked his fairy as she lost herself in the lovely, fresh air. Quickly snapping back to life, she tried her best to explain the concept of adults to her friend.

"Well… those people are adults! You're a Kokiri, right?"

"I wish."

"Now, don't be like that! You're a Kokiri, so you can't grow into one, but an adult is a person who isn't from the forest, and they grow into people like that once they turn 18!"

"Well, I suppose I'll find out if I really am a Kokiri in around eight years."

As the duo talked to each other, a feathery figure watched from up a bare tree.

" **Hoo-hoooo!** "

Link jumped and swivelled to face the tree. "Oh, look! Navi, it's some kind of owl! I've seen them in the forest!"

Navi followed his eyes before hers came to rest on the owl as well.

" **Hoooo! Hoooooo!** "

The owl let out another crow. Getting a closer look at it's face, Link noticed that dots and lines were dabbled on that made it look like his head was on upside down.

"What an odd specimen..." mumbled Link as he got even closer to the tree the owl was perching on. "It's doing some kind of… illusion with the tree. The tree is making him look massive. Incredible..."

Suddenly, the owl spread its wings with the span of the branch he was sitting on and took off, the branch shaking from him leaving. With a massive gust of wind that almost floored Link, he landed directly in front of him.

This was no illusion.

The owl was **FLIPPIN' ENORMOUS.**

" **Do not fear me, children, for I am not your enemy.** " said the owl. He had a deep, baritone voice that reminded Link of the Great Deku Tree. Thinking of him made Link's mind start fading off again, so he reluctantly stopped. " **It appears that the time has come for you to start your adventure!** "

Link and Navi stood still in wide-eyed shock. They were expecting a wide range of things when they left the forest, but a literally two-faced, talking owl the size of a wardrobe wasn't one of them.

" **Why are your words trapped behind your lips? As a child of a tree that can speak the words of men, I would imagine you wouldn't be too surprised at the existence of a talking owl.** "

Still, Link stood silent until the words of the owl sunk in. "Wait, how do you know that? Are you-"

" **Unfortunately not.** " As if he knew what Link was going to say, the owl answered Link's question before he even finished asking it. " **However, we knew each other for a long time. Several times in the past, I flew on over to him to ask about you.** "

"Me? Specifically me?"

" **Yes, you, child of fate. The Great Deku Tree sensed your promise since you arrived in the forest. That is why he took you in. Ever since, I have been keeping a hawkeye on you, waiting for your destiny to awaken.** " the owl explained. Navi twitched and turned dark purple with frustration. This owl was a very fast talker! Finally turning red, she suddenly flew up in the owl's face.

"Stop! Owl, stop! Slow… the blazes… down! One thing at a time, please! First off, who are you?"

Taken rather aback by the pint-sized outburst, the owl stopped speaking for a moment to give Navi some time to calm down.

" **Now, calm down, please. My name is Kaepora Gaebora, the last remaining Magna Owl from several hundreds of years ago.** "

Kayp-

Kai-

Gaeporpa Kaeborara? Argh! Can't they have called him 'Bob' or something?

Anyway, the owl continued. " **For now, I have come to tell you that you will** **encounter many hardships on your journey. Don't feel discouraged, even at the toughest times!** "

Normally, this would have made Link feel a lot better, but the fact that it was coming from… a giant owl with two faces meant that he took it in.

" **Look straight on, over there in the horizon! Do you see it? Hyrule castle!** "

With his wing pointing off into the distance, Kaepora signalled towards a large structure off in the distance. It appeared to be a giant wall of bricks that went around in a blocky circle. "Yes, I see it." replied the boy, trying to remember where he had seen this thing before.

" **You must go there. There, you shall meet the princess of this fair land. Everything else shall follow. Did you get all that?** "

"No- I mean yes! Sorry, yes! I do understand! Castle thingimajig, princess, talk. I got it." Link was so flustered by everything that he was mixing up his words.

As he looked over the walls of the structure, he noticed a man in robes entering a tower. This tower stretched up and up and up before finally culminating in a simple balcony that displayed a giant bell.

 **DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!**

"What does that mean?" asked Navi as Kaepora looked nervously at the farmlands.

" **Oh, Hylia! That isn't good.** "

"What? What's wrong?" chattered Navi. Once again, she flew up in Kaepora's face like an annoying firefly.

" **That bell means that sunset is approaching. This place gets dangerous at night. I'll need to get you to the castle as fast as I can before… they come out.** "

Link looked straight at Kaepora and followed where he was looking. As if they were scared, all the farmers off in the distance looked up at the ringing bell, then at the setting sun before they all darted across their land, some leaving their sacks of crops behind entirely, others stopping harvesting, resulting in very unevenly harvested fields. They all leaped over the hedges into other plots before they finally caught up with everyone. Puffing and panting, they crossed the large, wooden plank that was lowered into the ground as a bridge over an unnatural river.

"Dangerous?" echoed Link, "That must have been what the Deku Tree meant! Look, I really enjoyed our chat, but I need to run!"

Turning on his heels, Link charged off down the path towards Hyrule Castle like a shot, completely forgetting about the owl's offer earlier. Letting out a tut of exasperation, the great owl launched himself into the air with such a big beat of his wings that he forced a miniature dust storm from the path. Link could hear the big bird speeding through the air behind him, but he didn't dare look back, he just kept on running. What did those farmers know that he didn't? Suddenly, his feet weren't touching the ground any more. They were just pedalling as he flew through the air.

" **SQUAWK!** " came a deafening cry in his ear. Link looked up in terror to see Kaepora's massive talons and claws wrapped around his shoulders. The owl had plucked him from the ground as if he were hunting prey.

" **Now, don't worry. I can lift a giant boulder from the road.** **Picking** **you up is like picking up a blade of grass.** " assured the bird, but Link found himself unable to calm down. The wind was so much heavier and colder than on the ground. It felt like he was halfway up a mountain. The boy looked down below his dangling feet. It was a long way down. If the owl let go by mistake, he would surely plummet to the ground. It was so terrifying that Link scrunched his eyes up as tight as they would go.

" **Please. Don't be afraid. You are completely safe with me. I know exactly what I'm doing.** "

"But… what would everyone at… the castle think if a giant owl, no offence, dropped someone off at the front gates? They would be all suspicious!" Link still did not dare open his eyes.

" **I am not visible to the regular eye. It will only look like you came in through the drawbridge.** "

"Wait, if no one can see you, it would look like I just came flying into town! That isn't much better!"

" **We're here!** "

Link prised open his eyes as Kaepora lowered him to the ground. When the owl finally unwrapped Link's shoulders, he let his arms hang loose for a while. Kaepora had squeezed so hard that they had almost turned purple! "Thank you. Thank you for that. What happens at night that makes all the farmers retreat?"

The owl flew up and landed on the towering stone wall that he had flown Link past. " **Well, let me just say that at night, there is a need to keep the drawbridge, that slab of wood attached to those chains there, completely up. No way in, no way to safety.** "

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Link in desperation. "I just have to know!"

" **I am sorry, but your meeting with the princess is due in the morning. I must leave you to fend for yourself now. Trust me, that's easier in here than it is out there.** "

With those parting words, the great big bird of prey spread his wings out and took off into the air, fading away until he vanished into the orange clouds.

* * *

"Link!"

A high cry squeaked from behind him as Navi buzzed towards him, panting all the way. "You could have told that owl to slow down, you know? I can't fly as fast as him!"

"Sorry. Now, where are we? Where's the castle?"

Despite what he had initially thought, the castle wasn't just on the inside of the walls, but a whole civilisation. Buildings of stone and wood lined the cobbled path. More grown-ups, none the wiser of the mysterious owl that dropped Link off, inspected wooden stalls filled with foods of several kinds. The richest people in the land were gathered at a massive, white table, forking over giant, yellow crystals rather casually in exchange for a few items off a ridiculous buffet.

-A massive apple pie. Just by seeing it, you would think that there were no apples left in the world.

-A dwarfing tower of chocolate eclairs.

-Fritters the size of bin lids.

-A huge black forest gateau, bubbling with buttercream.

-Yum Yums that made the bell tower look like a drawing pin.

-Trifle that was so big, you could play water polo in it.

-Deep fried doughnuts stuffed with jam.

-An enormous strawberry cake of various colours. You only had to look at it to double your weight.

-A vat of salted caramel, bubbling like lava from a volcano.

-A lifelike, life size sculpture of a soldier made entirely out of green marzipan.

-A pail of blue cocktail garnished with a spoonful of blue cocktail.

-Biscuits that instantly deep-fried once you dipped them in a cup of tea.

-A huge jelly that it could break the fall of the moon-

Link's mouth watered at all this food. The poor boy hadn't eaten in days. For a moment, he thought the sweet smell of all the grub would knock him out like a punch. All the people buying food were tucking in hurriedly, making loud slurping noises,

 **SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!**

and burping ravenously between mouthfuls,

 **BUUUURP!**

 **BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRPPP!**

 **BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!**

"Come on, Link!" laughed Navi as Link stared at all the people eating. He was so transfixed that he had almost forgotten to keep his balance!

* * *

"The hour is nine, the minutes are thirty and it is Post Meridiem..."

If you didn't catch that, whoever this is, is saying that it is 9:30PM. The drawbridge had long been withdrawn and every member of the civilisation had fallen to their dreams. All of them except one man.

"Time for my talents of blending into the shadows… to really shine! Wait, no, that would be counterproductive!"

This strange man wore black trousers, a black top and black shoes. His face was perpetually smiling and his naked head was bald. He stood erect behind a thin post, somehow concealing his entire figure. Subtly peaking his head out of cover, he noticed a drunken man come stumbling out of the local tavern.

"Ah! Next dupe, here I come!"

Quiet as a mouse, the man slithered out from his post like a water snake, curving through potted plants, swimming through the fountain, sticking to the lip as he exited before he stood up. The man's loud, drunken shouting easily drowned out the thief's minor footsteps.

" **AAAAAAAH, HA HA HA! THE OPPOSITE OF A FIREFLY IS A WATERFALL! HAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!** "

Crouching out of sight, the thief lifted the back of the man's coat, reached into an inside pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.

"Jackpot!"

Straightening his knees, the man tossed the hankie over the drinker's shoulder.

" **AAAAAH, HA HA HA! I DROPPED MY HANKIE! OH, WELL, I GUESS I'D BETTER PICK IT UP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!** "

Wait, what was so funny about that?

Anyway, the drunken man bent over to pick up his possession, but the thief behind him used this distraction to pluck the hat he was wearing and run off into the back alleyways of town.

" **AH, HA! MY HEAD FEELS LIGHTER! I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I FEEL LIGHT-HEADED! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HAAAAAAAA!** "

The man wobbled off to the nearby inn, crashing through the door and letting it slam shut. " **ONE TEKTITE LAGER, PLEASE!** " he bellowed as he slammed a red crystal onto the table with a **BANG!**

"Excuse me, sir, this is a lodging inn!" hissed the innkeeper as she pointed up to a sign on the wall, the word "INN" being printed much bigger than the rest.

"Oops, sorry!" laughed the drunken man nervously before he slowly slid the red crystal across the desk. "One Tektite Lager, please!" he repeated, this time in a whisper. The innkeeper pressed her hand to her face in exhaustion and exasperation. Seriously?

* * *

Link and Navi walked into the square of this mysterious place. They had been exploring place to place for around an hour and a half now. This place was just so distracting!

"Well, here's the town square!" cheeped Navi as Link sat on the rim of the fountain, hot from all the walking. It had been a long day.

"I don't know if we're going to find any locals around here any time soon. It's just too late at night." Link splashed himself in the face with the fountain water to cool himself off. All this noise distracted him from the footsteps pacing around the fountain.

 **Sploosh! Sploosh!**

 **Clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak…**

 **Sploosh! Sploosh!**

Navi's light illuminated the hatted man, dressed in all black.

"Hey, Link! Look! This guy over here!"

The man winced a little as Navi pointed him out, but Link did not seem scared. Instead, he got up and walked over to him. "Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I'd find the castle?"

Looking for a way to segue into a possession of this lad's, the man began to think, trying to look like he was thinking about directions. "Well… the castle is just straight on from here! You can't miss it! However, the road ahead is dangerous… you need a weapon to defend yourself!" lied the thief. The only danger on the road to the castle was just the guards on patrol, but the most they would do was escort you back to town.

"Okay, so I've got that covered. Come on, Navi!"

Just as the man wanted, Link drew the Kokiri Sword. Immediately, the man launched into words again. "Say, that's one capable slasher you have there! It can level a tree in a single attack!"

"It… can?" buzzed Navi. She was getting a little suspicious.

"Oh, yes it can. I know it! Now, let me see that… maybe I can… get it valued!"

Unbeknownst to Link, who was walking away, the thief started coiling up like a spring, ready to pounce. Just as he was about to go for the swipe, a golden, large crystal was launched through the air.

"Don't you touch him!" shouted a feminine voice. The thief turned to see what was going on, only allowing the crystal to hit him square in the face. With a strangled cry, he toppled backwards and into the fountain.

" **AAAAAAARGH!** "

 **SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

The crystal bounced off the man and landed with a clink at Link's feet. As he picked it up to inspect it, he felt a soft, smooth hand around his wrist.

"Come on! Run! This man is dangerous!"

Link didn't know who was dragging him, but he could hear the man emerging behind him and shouting " **WHO DARES THROW GIANT RUPEES AT THE GREAT SAKON IN THIS WAY!** "

* * *

"I see. So, you're a boy from the forest."

"Yeah."

After the two had gotten to safety in a nearby alley, Link had a chance to fully meet this person. Another girl about his age. Blonde, flowing hair, some fancy shoes and a nightdress.

"Thanks a lot. I almost got tricked, then. First time in the big… village, you see." said Link. The girl gave him a little smile.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure there are no thieves in the forest. We keep trying to keep that man detained, but he always outsmarts us!"

Link warily looked around to see if that nutter had followed them. Nope, the coast was clear.

"That's a very beautiful stone." said the girl. She was looking at the Kokiri Emerald, attached to Link's chest belt that he used for his sword and shield.

"Oh, this?" To show it off closer, Link unclipped the precious stone and held it up to one of the windows of a building, the light inside still on. "This is the emerald of the forest. I was told to show this stone to the Princess of Hyrule. Do you know where she is?"

Upon saying this, the girl recoiled a little, as if she knew a little too much about the situation.

"Well… yes I do." she replied uneasily. "She's in the castle, but it's really heavily guarded, especially at night. The only time you can get in is during the day."

"Oh."

" **BUT...** " This sudden, loud shift made Link jump a little, not that this girl noticed. "I can help you pass the time. How about we play together?"

" _This is more like it!"_ thought Link with a smile. Maybe there was more to this place than shady people. "That sounds like a plan!"

* * *

Hours had passed since Link and the new girl had started playing. She had taken him to a nearby bowling alley which used a special kind of bomb to blow up targets known as a Bombchu, a little, mechanical mouse that would skitter along the ground, up walls and along ceilings until its timer went off, she had taken him to the shooting gallery where Link had to shoot targets as they slid along rails, she had shown him the Treasure Chest shop where you had to enter a room, open one of two chests and just hope it contained the key to the next room and when there was nothing else to do, they just played around in the streets, trying all of Link's childhood games. It was now midnight and the two were pretty much leaning against each other in exhaustion.

"Phew! I think we can both agree that we've been playing for long enough!" laughed the girl, patting Link on the back.

"Too right! I'm shattered!"

"I'm going to go back to my house now. You… Oh, no. What are you going to do? You're from the forest and… Here!"

The girl reached into a fancy pocket and pulled out a purple crystal.

"Go into the inn at the main part of town and show this to the person at the desk. She should give you a room." explained Link's new friend. "In the morning, head north for the castle, but don't turn the corner. That place is being guarded. There should be a set of vines on the wall. Sneak over the fence that the guards are at, then go down a ladder and into the storage room. Go out the door there, climb a little rock face and then run across a field to get to the moat. Jump into it to sneak past the last few guards and then you should find a little opening. From there, all you need to do is hide in a laundry hamper and let the guards deliver you to the princess. Did you get all that?"

…

…

…

"That's… oddly specific..." noted Link, "but if it works, it works! Thank you for all this, by the way. I am very grateful. These aren't used in the forest, so I don't know a thing about them. Do I just show it to the guy at the… inn and he'll give me a room for a bit?"

"Precisely."

"All right! I hope to see you again tomorrow!"

With that, the two parted ways, Link heading to the main part of town and the girl heading to…

the castle.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"If you are brave enough to say goodbye life will reward you with a new hello._ _"_


	7. The Green Ninja

**CAWK-A-CAWK-A-CAWK-A DOODLE DOOOOOOO!**

At the crow of a cockerel, Link awoke. Everything had gone well the night before. Link had shown the innkeeper the purple gem that the girl from before had given him and she had shown him to a bedroom. As he did back in the Kokiri Forest, he slept in all his clothes, including his hat and boots.

The sun glinted through the thin curtains of Link's room. "Nature's wakeup call." Link said as he swung his legs over the bed and rather groggily stood up. His time playing with the girl last night had really taken it out of him. Even after an eight hour sleep, Link still felt like a mummy that had just been awakened from a slumber. Both kinds.

A yawn escaped Link's lips as he lifted his hat off his hair. "Navi? Are you awake?"

Out of the top corners of his eyes, Link saw a light yellow glow coming from Navi. Unlike her darker, more solid yellow colour, which signified fear… and the presence of an enemy. This shade meant that she was tired. "Mmmmph… uuuh… Link? What time is it?"

"It is..." Link stole a quick look at the clock in his room. "Eight o'clock! I think it's safe to say that it's morning!"

"Okay… Let's try and wake up first. We need to take in some fresh air. We can't go sneaking around when we're drowsy." droned Navi, still rather tired. That was a good point. It's never a good idea to do stuff like sneaking around while still tired. You'd probably end up accidentally wondering past someone you're trying to avoid going "Wotcha!" or something like that.

Link drifted down the uneven steps of the old inn. Despite his light weight, they still creaked like a door at night. Heading to the front desk, Link had a simple plan:

Last night, the innkeeper had explained all about what those differently coloured crystals were.

Money.

She had said that the crystals were called rupees, and they could be exchanged for goods and services, such as staying at an inn and buying food. Different colours were apparently of a different value.

-Green was worth 1 rupee.

-Blue was worth 5 rupees.

-Red was worth 20 rupees.

-Purple was worth 50 rupees.

-A large and yellow rupee was worth 200 rupees.

The purple rupee that Link had been given to stay at the inn was worth 50 rupees, and the price to stay at the inn was just 30 rupees. However, a stay at the inn and a breakfast pass was 40 rupees, so Link had splurged and gotten himself some breakfast along with his stay. He hadn't eaten for a long time, so he had been looking forward to this all night. So much, in fact, that he had hardly been able to sleep. He was all skin and bone as he was, so not eating was definitely not helping.

"Hello, miss! I'd like to turn in my breakfast pass, please!" said Link with a polite smile, sliding his little pass along the desk. Taking it, the woman behind it took out a pair of scissors and cut off the top.

"All right, your pass has been redeemed! Into the breakfast hall, then!"

Feeling rather grown up and independent, Link bowed to the lady and walked off to the right, through an arch and into the eatery.

The dining hall was packed. Obviously, several people sat around the circular tables, eating various dishes. Not just people, entirely different species, apparently.

There was a rather blank-faced, aquatic looking creature sitting by himself, eating a plate of battered fish and chips. He had black, beady eyes and what appeared to be a fishy tail dangling from the back of his head. He wore no clothing because he had nothing he needed covering up and his skin was a mixture of white and light blue. He wouldn't have looked out of place in an aquarium. In the far corner, with a steel chair and an iron table, there was a rather burly fellow who looked like he had rocks growing out of him, shaking the table with his violent scoffing. His skin was a browny-grey colour and some patterns decorated it. He was chowing down on a large rock that was fashioned into the shape of a sirloin, still on the bone. The only two seats left in the room were on either one of these tables.

Link took a bit of an inhale through his teeth. He was very interested in both of these beings, but he wanted to sit with the former this time. Mostly because he didn't make it sound like there was a war in the restaurant. It wasn't really the rocky guy's fault as he was probably just naturally strong, but still.

Approaching his table of choice, Link pulled up a chair and sat down.

 **Snip.**

The aquatic man daintily ate a piece off of his fish. He had yet to notice the boy sitting at his table.

 **Snip. Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, scrunch…**

One rather large mouthful of chips was what made the man realise that Link had sat opposite him, as one of them fell from his scaly grasp and onto his silver plate with a chink.

"Oh salut! Je ne t'ai pas remarqué là-bas! Une fée? Êtes-vous de la forêt?" said the aquatic humanoid.

Um… what?

"Est-ce que vous allez bien? Vous semble un peu surpris! Ai-je un peu d'os de poisson dans les dents?"

" _What on earth is he saying?"_ thought Link as his face contorted sideways in surprise. He glanced at Navi for help, but she just floated up and then down, shrugging.

"Ah, sorry! Maybe this is more your language." The scaled man switched to fluent English very quickly. Almost jarring. One moment, he was talking incomprehensibly and the next, he was speaking like the Kokiri, albeit more formally.

"Yeah. Sorry, but what was that way of speaking? I'm kind of interested." replied Link. Was this an entirely different speech pattern or did he just have a really thick accent?

"Ah. French. That is French. The languages used here are actually from another world. Earth. French comes from somewhere called France." explained the scaly creature, "I am a Zora. We speak French. You are from the forest. You speak English."

"And where is English?"

The Zora paused for a few seconds, confused by Link's question. "English? Ah, England! That language is from England. It's near France. Very near France."

 **BING, BANG, BOOOOOM! CHOMP! SCHLURP!**

Another thunderous cacophony erupted from the steel armoured table with the rocky man sitting at it. He had almost finished his food and was now eating as hard as he could. This time, he was shaking the entire pub. Bottles rattled on the wall shelf, making loud ringing noises. Still, the unruly patron was not escorted out.

"Ugh." muttered the Zora. "A Goron. They can't really help it, but their table manners are… cacophonous, to say the least."

"Gorons?" echoed Navi as she buzzed up to the Zora. "Where are they from?"

"The volcano to the east of the forest." replied the Zora, considerately talking as if he were from the forest. "They speak a language called German. It is from Germany in the other world."

Almost completely on point, the Goron got up, slammed the bone of his meal on the table like a gavel and stomped right out of the room.

" **LECKER, LECKER! DIES IST DAS BESTE ESSEN, DAS ICH SEIT GESTERN HATTE!** "

With that, he stomped out of the room, bouncing tables and chairs into the air as he went. Finally, he flung open the door and slammed it shut.

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

"Hoppla! Ich kenne meine eigene Stärke nicht!" came the Goron's booming voice from outside the inn. Looking closely at the floor, Link could see that he had left massive, hulking dents in it from his heavy footsteps.

"Wow, I'm glad I woke up when I did! Imagine waking up to that racket!" joked Link, trying to return some life to the stunned patrons. After he pulled himself together, the Zora finally started talking.

"Gorons would usually be kicked out for such a noise, but he's a regular. He makes the place a lot of money."

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by a heavenly smell and a clank of ceramic as Link's food arrived on the table.

"English Breakfast, young sir!" announced the waiter, a tall, thin man with a curled moustache.

Link couldn't help but grin ear to ear. The first bit of food he had in ages, and what a meal it was! Bacon weaving along the plate, baked beans bubbling on the side, sausages the length of party balloons, a fried egg ready to burst and a fresh lemon for squeezing!

" _I'm going to enjoy this!_ "

* * *

The breakfast had been beaten in just five minutes. The nice Zora that Link had been talking with had gone his own separate way, leaving Link in content satisfaction at the table with his empty plate.

"That was really nice!" breathed Link, slumping in his seat. Link was kind enough to split portions of his food so Navi could eat as well. Now she had a hard time keeping aloft, so she perched on his head.

"I'll say..." muttered the fairy as she relaxed her wings. That was all the two did for a while. The winter day was rather cold and it was hard to get up and just leave the warm pub.

"Excuse me!"

Barely managing to move his head around, Link saw a man walking into the tavern. Ginger, flowing hair, a purple, smart tuxedo, pointed, purple shoes and, his most distinct feature, a massive, brown backpack. Masks of all kinds were hanging from it. His face was painted with a smile that seemed to never leave his face.

"Is there a 'Link' in this tavern? He has a delivery! From someone in the forest!"

Hearing his name, Link immediately jolted up. "Yes, that's me! Who are you?"

Looking around until he could see Link, the man trotted over, struggling under the weight of his massive bag. "Perfect! I am the Happy Mask Salesman! I run a shop here in this town that sells masks to the general public, but I recently started a part-time job as a deliveryman! On my recent trip to the forest, your friend, Saria, asked me to deliver a letter to you! This is it right here!"

Saria?

Letter?

" _Normal people can't just… enter the forest!"_ thought Link as the Happy Mask Salesman handed over a thin envelope and… a brown bag. The former was soft and toneless, definitely having been made in the forest. No mistaking it, this was no hoax. _"How did he know where I was?"_

Hiding all his questions, Link simply took the letter. "Thank you. Really. I was starting to miss her. And everyone else."

"Don't worry about it." replied the Happy Mask Salesman. "She said that she was hoping that you were all right and, unless my eyes deceive me, you are perfectly healthy! Now, she asked me to ask a favour of you..." With a few frustrated grunts, he reached into a pocket on his bag and pulled out a piece of paper and a fountain pen. "She asked you to sign this paper so that I can bring it back to her. That way, she knows you're safe. She sounds like a nice friend to you."

"Yeah, she is. If she's this worried about me, I'd say so." Wielding the pen, Link scrawled his name on the little slip of paper and handed it back to the man. "Please make sure this gets back to her. I don't want her worrying."

"You're a good friend." beamed the Happy Mask Salesman as he slid the signature back into his pocket. "Saria is very lucky to have stepped forward to you."

With those words, the man shuffled out of the pub, leaving Link with the little brown bag…

and Saria's letter.

Not saying a word, Link slid his finger across the lips of the envelope to open it and pulled out the letter. Navi flew close to his ear to read it.

 _My friend, Link:_

 _About our meeting on the bridge yesterday… It's all right._

 _Sometimes, our emotions just make us run like that._

 _I got this bag from the Great Deku Tree when he was alive. He_

 _told me that it could fit anything you want in it and it would_

 _never lose its shape or gain weight! I_

 _thought of keeping it for myself, but right now, you_

 _need it more than me. I_

 _have packed it with essentials for your journey, including some food,_

 _some drinks and money, I hope it can be of use to you._

 _I hope that you're doing OK._

 _Your friend forever, Saria._

Silent and red-faced with regret from leaving the forest, Link refolded the letter.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Finally, the letter was back in its folded form. The boy opened the envelope once more, placed the letter inside and then resealed it.

"Saria..." Navi said, getting a bit choked up herself. "Link… you are very lucky to have her, as is she with you."

"I… I know. I told her that all the time back in the forest. I hope I can go back some day."

"Link, that part about the bag… do you think it's…" Navi paused mid-sentence, like she was sceptical, "true?"

"Only one way to find out."

Taking a deep breath, Link raised his arm, untied the band around the bag and plunged his hand inside.

To his surprise, Saria was telling the truth! His arm disappeared inside of the bag, as if the bag had devoured his arm. He flailed it around like mad, eyes wide open in shock.

 **Rattle, rattle, rattle, SNAP!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

Feeling a snapping pain on his hand, Link yanked his arm out of the bag. There, hanging off the end like some kind of hip and trendy hand decoration, was a mouse trap, about the length of all of his fingers. Already, he could see his fingertips turning purple.

"What the… flip was that doing in there?" hissed Link, expecting a response from Navi. Instead, he saw the envelope rattling with a dark blue light. Navi buzzed out of a gap, groaning in exasperation. "That Mido! He always has to ruin the moment!"

Oh, seriously?

"What has he done this time?"

"He's written 'Mido woz here!' on the back of the letter! Something tells me he is also the culprit of that mouse trap!"

His entire face turning red, then purple, Link tried not to scream at the top of his lungs in the calm inn. "That pesky little plonker! Can't he ever just leave me alone?"

* * *

After Link had bid farewell to the inn, he decided to focus on his primary mission, sneaking into the castle.

Well, it took him long enough, didn't it?

Flashing back to yesterday, Link remembered his very specific instructions given to him by the girl he had played with.

" _head north for the castle, but don't turn the corner. That place is being guarded. There should be a set of vines on the wall. Sneak over the fence that the guards are at, then go down a ladder and into the storage room. Go out the door there, climb a little rock face and then run across a field to get to the moat. Jump into it to sneak past the last few guards and then you should find a little opening. From there, all you need to do is hide in a laundry hamper and let the guards deliver you to the princess."_

"The girl had some very specific instructions, didn't she?" commented Navi as Link slowly advanced through town. The bricked ground slowly turned to dirt as he advanced further from the town and onto the road into the castle. "I really hope she wasn't lying, because I don't see how else we're getting in."

" _Head north for the castle, but don't turn the corner."_ echoed his mind as the shouting shoppers faded off into the distance. _"Head north for the castle, but don't turn the corner. Head north for the castle, but don't turn the corner. Head north for the castle, but…THE CORNER!"_

Link had already reached a sharp right bend in the road, almost going around it without a second thought and running smack dab into a duo of guards set at a wrought iron gate. Luckily, there was a rock wall that persisted on the right side of the road that stretched around the corner, so Link smoothly yanked himself back and hid behind it. Sneaking a peek around the corner, there was no doubt that these were definitely soldiers of the castle set out to make sure absolutely no one got into the castle.

Except for the green ninja that was about to use stealth to get into the castle.

Speaking of the castle, Link was now well up close. The sun bathed the artefact in a bright white light. The five blue spires pierced the heavens above the world and in the little windows, Link could see several rich looking people strutting around, carrying trays full of drinks.

He must have had really good eyesight.

"Right…" muttered Link as he eyed the rock wall for the vines to climb. As she had said, brown flora hung down from the top of the rock wall in just the right position to climb. "Navi, I need you to hide in this bag. We can't have your light giving us away, can we?"

Navi groaned in exasperation. "I swear to… the big chap upstairs, if I have to lean against that mouse trap and get flattened, I'd probably rather get caught!"

* * *

Up the vines, across the rock cliff, onto the top of the wall that went over the gate, down a small hatch and into a storage room, out the storage room and behind the gate, up a small rock face and into a field, up another rock wall and finally…

he had made it.

He was so sneaky that I couldn't even find any footage of him sneaking around. I was only listing what the girl had said!

Link stood up on the edge of the small embankment which lead into the moat. To the right, there were guards facing the town. Even if he tried walking past them, they were bound to see him in their peripheral vision.

Link's only real way of getting past them was jumping into the moat.

"Link!" shouted Navi's muffled voice from inside his pouch. "Don't tell me you're thinking of jumping in there! Don't you know what's in moats for this exact reason?"

"No, what?"

"Well… Let's just say that you should never go near a moat after curry day in the castle."

"That's disgusting!" Link hissed. He wanted to scream that as loud as possible but he might as well have gone marching past all the guards head on. No way was he giving himself away.

"Then again..." hummed the fairy, "it IS the only way in..."

"I can't go in there! I'll get ill!"

Navi sighed once again. "Please unzip the bag. Let me check the water."

Link did as he was told. Navi's little light pierced through the gap, slightly illuminating the moat ahead.

The crystal clear moat.

"Wow! Okay, that actually looks kind of clean! I guess they don't do that here! Funny, eh?" The nervous laugh that she did at the end of her sentence made link sceptical, but it was really his only choice.

Holding his breath and plugging his nose, Link bent his knees, crouched and, like a professional diver…

belly flopped into the moat.

Immediately, he felt the cold making his fingers numb and white. The moat was obviously not meant for swimming. It whisked him past the two guards, around a corner across a long, straight bit. Only able to control his arms and not his hands, Link reached out and flabbily grabbed a little rail that jutted out of the walls in case someone were to accidentally fall in. Holding it as if were his lifeline, Link tightened his numb hand around it and pulled himself to safety. He lay there for several seconds before he began to close his eyes, distracted.

"Hey! HEY! What about me! What's happened? Are we out? If so, can you PLEASE release me?" screamed Navi inside his pouch. She was now ramming the edges of it, a blue glow punching through the leather as it bulged. One of her attacks even hit Link.

"Ow, ow! Okay! Here we are! Look, you're out, all right?" Link huffed, unzipping his pouch. Like a bee coming out of a bottle, Navi buzzed out and into his face.

"I STINK of grilled Octorok!" she nagged. "Who's idea was it to put cooked food in a bag?"

"We all make mistakes." Link rolled his eyes as he tried his hardest to stand up, but he appeared to be getting a little help.

"Are you all right?"

This help was received from a girl with long, ginger hair. Her large eyes were blue and she wore a white dress with blue patterns on the bottom as well as a pair of leathery, brown boots. She definitely wasn't the one from yesterday.

"Yeah." replied Link as he shook himself dry. "Just a little cold, that's all. Do you know how I can get into the castle?"

"That's the problem!" said this new girl. "My father's fallen asleep in the way of the door!"

She pointed over to a rather rotund man, who was dressed in a red-shirt and blue overalls, was laying across a fancy door, obviously an entrance to the castle. A large sign over the door read "Pull", so there was no getting around this hefty fellow. He was out cold, his facial whiskers twitching from the air produced by his snoring.

"Right, stand back." ordered Navi to the girl as Link approached the sleeping man. "I think there's something in that pouch that will wake him up! A Deku Nut!"

Navi flew back into Link's open pouch and, after straining was heard from inside, she came back out carrying a large, brown nut. "Throw this at the wall or something!"

With that, the fairy dropped it into Link's hands.

Link had heard all about these. Deku Nuts. Throwing them would break the shell, which would break the fragile matter in the middle. Upon the latter breaking, it would make a loud banging noise and a blinding flash. Back in the day, ninjas would apparently use them to make an exit.

"Here goes! This had better work!" muttered Link. He reared his leg, flexed his fingers and, at full force, pitched the nut at the wall of the castle.

 **BANG!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH! WHAT IN TARNATION!** "

When the white light that invaded Link's sight faded, the man was now standing up, his knees knocking, his sideburns twitching and the wrinkles on his forehead twisting into patterns.

"Dad! You fell asleep at the wheel again!" joked the man's daughter, jokingly wagging her finger.

"M-m-malon? What was I just doing?"

"Delivering the milk to the royal canteen!"

Upon being told this, the man let out a deep gasp as Link walked over to the door and cracked it open.

" **OH, HYLIA ON A PENNY FARTHING!** "

* * *

It was surprisingly dark in this room. The only light Link had to go by was Navi. Almost immediately, she flew straight to a wicker basked in the corner.

"Link, I think this is what the girl was talking about!" she whispered. Silently taking her advice, Link crept towards the hamper.

Slowly, silently, he opened the lid and leaped into further darkness…

and a pile of towels.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth."_


	8. A Prophecy

" **GUARDS!** "

At the bellowing order of a tall, chestplated lady with grey hair, all guards inside and outside came rushing in, puffing and panting because of the weight of their armour.

"Yes, Miss Impa?"

The woman at the front took a deep breath before booming another order. " **FALL IN YOUR LINE!** "

All scrambling to get into a line, the armoured guards did so before falling to the floor and onto their backs, looking up at the woman for approval. They got none from her. In fact, she shot them a glare that would have made Gohma run for the hills!

" **Stand** in a **line!** " the woman hissed. All terrified, the guards quickly jumped up and did what she said, forming a perfectly straight line.

"Better." said the woman. With a click of her fingers, a butler came stepping over to her with a full roll of…

toilet paper?

"Right, then. Men, I have a few jobs for you!" announced the lady as she took the loo roll from the butler before waving him off in the other direction. Holding the loose end, she dropped the entire roll. It bounced to the floor, unravelling across it like a paint roller before it finally came to stop several meters away. Holding one end of it, the woman read out the first job. "Okay, so your first task is to take care of the clean laundry. Can you all handle that?"

"Yes, Miss Impa! You can count on us!" replied one soldier, standing erect and saluting. Impa clapped her hands.

"You all know where the laundry baskets are! Keep the door open! Remember, we are having lighting problems in that room at the moment!"

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?"

Link sat in the darkness of the laundry hamper, with Navi tucked away in his pouch once again. He couldn't risk her light going through the weaves and giving them away. "Quite certain." he replied. "That girl seemed to know what she was talking about. We have no choice but to trust her."

"Maybe..." Navi hummed as she moved out of the way of the grilled Octorok that Saria had stashed in there, "but how do we know that? For all we know, she could just be a kid with an overactive-"

 **CREEEEEAK!**

The pair fell silent and still immediately as a guard threw open the door and lit up a lantern.

 **Hisssss!**

Not daring to make a sound and scarcely daring to breathe, Link scrunched himself up as small as he could get himself so as to not touch the sides of the hamper and wobble it. As the guard stepped closer to his hiding place, Link could hear his shivering breath getting closer and closer. After what felt like an eternity, the guard lifted up the basket.

"Cor blimey!" muttered the man as he buckled under the rather heavy weight of the laundry basked. "I know Impa usually puts heavy stuff in here for training, but never anything this heavy!"

" _Is he calling me fat? Saria always said I needed to eat more!"_

Link heard the soldier's chestplate rubbing against the hamper as he lugged it to the end of the storage room and opened the door. Immediately, light began to pierce the holes in the hamper. Now Link could at least see what he was doing.

"Men!" panted the man as he slammed the hamper to the floor. "What on earth is in this? It feels like carrying an anvil!"

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed one of his co-workers, "It can't be that heavy! Oh, just let me try!"

"All right, but I'm warning you!"

The soldier passed over the hamper, causing the other man to nearly drop it to the ground. Link's heart almost dropped with it, but he was able to stifle his gasp just in time.

" **OH, MY GIDDY AUNT!** What has the Princess started stocking in here? Armour? Hang on, I'll just check this-"

" _Oh, no!"_ Link was going to get busted. Moving as slowly as he could, he tried to move a towel over himself as discreetly as he could as light started to bleed in through the basket.

"Stop."

Immediately, the hatch slammed back down over the top of Link. "Ah! Lady Impa! What's in this hamper? It weighs a ton?" motormouthed the guard with Link's hamper.

"That is not worthy of your concern." replied the lady, quite simply and expressionlessly. "It is simply… a delivery. Now, take it to the princess."

Link felt a second pair of hands gripping the basket underneath him as another man helped support him. "Yes, miss! Right away!"

With that, the two guards marched off down the castle courtyards, unknowingly taking Link past all the guards.

* * *

 **CLUNK!**

It had been a while. The hamper must have been much heavier than usual, because the men had hardly kept a good pace. It had taken fifteen minutes for them to finally reach their destination and just drop the hamper straight onto the floor. Link very nearly gasped, but he stuffed a towel against his face in the nick of time.

"Phew! That's a weight off my mind!" came the voice of one of the men who had carried him in.

"And out of my hands, too!" joked the voice of the other. Both laughing, they retreated back to their posts. However, Link wanted to make sure he was completely in the clear before trying to get out. After all, the men could have just caught onto his tricks and dumped him into a room full of officials.

…

…

…

"Hello? Are you in there?"

" _What?"_ thought Link at this voice. It sounded familiar and it seemed to expect his arrival, yet he wasn't all that sure who it was.

"Don't tell me you fell asleep in that thing! Don't you recognise my voice? You can come out now! You're not in trouble! There are no guards around!"

" _Who is this and how does she know?"_

Deciding to trust these words, Link creaked the lid of his hamper open. The guards had taken him into a courtyard. Bright green, healthy grass danced in the breeze of the open air courtyard. A small stream was trickling around the edges like a moat. Flowerbeds displayed several specimens of plant life, but Link didn't recognise even one of them. A giant, stone wall surrounded the area.

One detail stuck out the most.

A fair-haired girl, wearing a white and purple headdress and a regular dress of the same colour, was facing a large window with ornamental muntins. It appeared to overlook a hall of some kind.

"Do… Do I know you?" asked Link to the girl, who was still staring through the window. She didn't even turn to answer him.

"Are you… the right boy? The one in green from yesterday?"

" _From yesterday?"_ thought Link, as he stepped onto the platform the girl was on. Suddenly, Navi came zooming out of the pouch Link had hidden in.

"Holy flea!" she exclaimed, turning neon green with shock, "You're..."

"The girl from yesterday." The girl finished Navi's sentence for her. "I am the Princess of Hyrule. Zelda."

* * *

Speechless, Link could only bow to her in reply. He couldn't believe that he had been playing games with the Princess of Hyrule the night before!

"You don't have to be formal, you're just a child! Though, a very well mannered child. I thank you for that."

"I'm… I'm sorry!" stammered Link, tripping over his words like laces, "It's just… I always used to be told that's what you would do when you meet a princess."

Zelda smiled at him. "You have a fairy. Are you from the forest?"

Since Link was still unable to make a good sentence, Navi filled in for him. "Yes, he is. I'm Navi. He's my partner. Sorry if I stink of grilled Octorok. I had to hide in a pouch for a while so my light wouldn't give us away. That pouch just happened to have food in it."

Zelda shrugged this off. "Oh, well." she said, "I suppose it could be worse!"

Despite the sense of humour that Zelda seemed to possess, Link swayed the conversation over to the point. Was this the right princess?

"Sorry, but… are you the Princess of Destiny?"

"The Princess of Destiny?" Zelda repeated. She looked at him as if he had just asked her something in… French. "I'm the only princess here, so I'd assume that's who you mean! Who's told you that I'm a… 'Princess Of Destiny'?"

'The only princess here?'

Link had done it. He had fulfilled the Great Deku Tree's wish…

for the last time.

* * *

Thinking about the Great Deku Tree clouded Link's mind again. Zelda's bemused smile fell when she saw Link slowly shuffling away from her and covering his face with his hair. She grew even more concerned when she noticed water dripping to the floor when there was no cloud in the sky.

"What's the matter?" asked Zelda gently as she took both his hands in hers. Her kindness made Link think of Saria, which didn't help with his ocular leak.

"Yes, I'm… excuse me… I… Sorry about this... you just reminded me of..."

"You've lost someone. Is that why you're upset?"

Link was very surprised that she seemed so sure of what had happened when she hadn't been there, but his voice was not working right. When he tried to speak, he only made gasping noises that sounded like hiccuping. Finally pulling himself together, Link wiped his eyes with the tip of his pointed hat. "Y-yes… My guardian. He got cursed and I couldn't save him." Link was barely able to say even that. Again, he hid his face from sight.

"You poor thing."

Zelda gently gave Link a hug, just as Saria had done a few times. This somehow made him feel like he was back home in the forest.

"W-what is that? My friend's done that a few times back in the forest, but… what is it?"

In surprise, Zelda let go of him and stood back against the window. "That's a hug. Have you had many before?"

"Just… three from what I remember." replied Link. Zelda seemed very surprised and sad for him. In a second, she had pulled him into another hug.

"I think I like hugs." murmured Link, somewhat embarrassed to admit it.

"Who cast this curse on your guardian? Sorry if that's too soon, but…"

The two came apart and Link's eyes burned with fury upon remembering the vision he had received.

"The Great Deku Tree told me himself who it was before he died." he muttered, his sorrow turning into an angry mumble. In fact, he completely forgot to answer her question. "I got so mad, I ended up just… running away from my friend because I started to get too upset with leaving and I just… ran out of the forest while she was talking. Without saying a word. Now I'm worried about how she feels about me." he continued, "I know she's not mad because she sent me a letter, but she might think I am."

"I can sense it. She isn't mad. If she sent you a letter, that means she cares about you. All you have to do is look on the positive side primarily."

"Yeah. Maybe I'm a bit too paranoid about this whole thing. I'm sure she's… fine."

Zelda took a breath before she narrowed one eye, about to ask a question. "Link, I must ask you… do you have the Spiritual Stone of the Forest? The emerald?"

"How do you know about that?" Navi had once again jumped in when Link couldn't think of anything to say in reply.

"Well… Link, I was playing with you last night and I even commented on it. Did you forget?"

Link blinked rapidly, surprised. "Well… yes I did. The Great Deku Tree told me to show it to you."

Before Zelda could contain herself, Link found himself hit with yet another hug. "I am so sorry, I sometimes do that without realising it!" panicked the princess. To compose herself, she took a deep breath, held her hands flat and moved them up and down. "Anyway… I think that the Great Deku Tree knew exactly what he was doing. You see… I've been having these really strange dreams at night."

Hearing about dreams made Link feel physically sick to the point of dizziness, being reminded of his own nightmares. "So… what happens?"

"I see flaming fields, dark clouds billowing over the town and castle."

"And? What next?" squeaked Navi, flittering up and down as she would often do.

"And… someone comes running out of the forest with a fairy and a green emerald. He throws it up into the air and then it just… shoots this green column into the air and returns everything to normal! To this day, I believe that these are a prophecy. A Prophecy that someone will defy death and come here from the forest."

Link thought on this before the rupee dropped very quickly. The reason she was in town so late at night…

"Wait!" he said frantically, "Is that why you were in town so late at night yesterday?"

The princess nodded her head. "Yes. I had been for several nights. For several days, I would dig around in my wardrobe and make a rope out of my clothes! Anything that could be bent would do! Dresses, socks, trousers, the castle opera singer's knickers-"

Link could not help but loudly chuckle at the last word, as it pretty much came out of nowhere. "Sorry!"

"Anyway, you get the point. I rappelled down out of the window every night in some regular clothes and a different hairstyle in case anyone saw me and then just played in the streets until around 2 o'clock in the morning. If no one came around, then I would go back to bed. Never been caught."

"And then I came along. Maybe the Great Deku Tree was controlling our dreams! I often had a recurring nightmare of my own! You're in it every time! You're basically running away from town on a horse, then a guy comes along on a black horse and tries to kill me because I don't tell him where you went! The Great Deku Tree told me his name, but I can't remember it! It… was complicated."

Getting even more suspicious, Zelda turned back to the window and pondered. "And can you describe this man to me?"

Reluctantly remembering the events of his nightmares, Link flashed back to the moment where he stood in the way of the terrifying man. "Well, he had… fiery red hair, green skin, black and brown armour… and he can fire little balls of magic."

"Just as I thought." muttered Zelda. Link noticed her normally delicate hand was scrunching into a fist.

"What?"

"Link, I think I know who you are talking about. Stand over here and look through this window."

Uncomfortably, Link shuffled over to Zelda's window as she sidestepped out of his way. To compensate for his short height, he leaped and supported himself on the windowsill.

"From this window, I watch over the throne room. People come in here to negotiate with my father. Right now, there's the leader of a tribe called the Gerudo."

The throne room was very impressive on the eyes. So much so that Link completely skimmed over all the people using it. A red, padded throne covered by a red shade, a gigantic chandelier that could light up a whole island during the night, cream coloured walls on a polished board floor. A rather plump man was sat on the throne, the entire chair creaking under his weight. He bore a black beard and a fancy, golden crown bespangled by jewels. Formally walking along the red carpet was…

him.

Clad in black and brown armour with green skin and fiery hair, it was the man from Link's dreams.

Even seeing him made the colour all wash out from Link. "That's him! He's the one! Every night, he haunts my nightmares and I've never even met him before!" he proclaimed a little too loudly. He and Zelda instinctively ducked out of sight as the man continued his stride up to the King, who was not reacting to anything. He just watched the man approach him from the front.

"That man is Ganondorf. He swears allegiance to my father… but I think that he is not entirely sincere. I am sure that the dark clouds and smoke in my dream represent that man. I have told my father about my dreams, but he just dismisses it all. He says it's a coincidence, but..."

"He's been appearing as himself in my dreams. This is him, all right! He is the monster who killed the Great Deku Tree!" Link was full of tranquil fury. He wanted to completely annihilate this man, the man who killed the Great Deku Tree, but something was stopping him from acting out. All he could do was shake the windowsill, which was still completely out of his control.

"Link..." Zelda kept her cool. "Are you aware of the Sacred Realm?"

Suppressing his hatred, Link turned to the princess. "Part of it. The Great Deku Tree died before he told me the whole thing. I heard that… three golden goddesses left behind an ancient relic in there."

With that, Zelda took his attention and signalled the front of her dress. More specifically, a golden emblem.

Three equilateral triangles, joined to form a larger equilateral triangle, making an inverted triangle in the middle. A Sierpinski Triangle for short. "This is the Triforce. As the Great Deku Tree said, the three Golden Goddesses of Hyrule left it behind in the Sacred Realm after creating the world. If one were to reach it, then they would be able to wish on it." explained Zelda. As she spoke, she outlined the pattern on her dress with her finger.

"That sounds pretty promising."

"Well, the same is true for anyone and everyone. Imagine if a man like Ganondorf found the Triforce! I think that he is trying to do just that!"

Link sneaked a glance back through the window and…

almost screamed. Ganondorf had finished talking with the king unexpectedly early and was now walking back to where he had come from. Despite not really seeming to be paying attention to him, at the same time, his evil, yellow eyes seemed to be subtly looking at Link. After several heart-pounding seconds, he finally turned and marched off through a set of double doors.

"Sorry about that, but I'm pretty sure he was looking at me just then! Does he know anything about this?"

"That's okay," replied Zelda reassuringly, "He has no idea what I'm planning… yet."

"Well, neither do I. Has he been doing anything… shifty lately?"

"Pretty sure. One time, I was trying to sleep, some bulky figure came into my room, making several loud clattering noises. He opened all my drawers, my wardrobes, anything in my room that could be opened. I'm pretty sure this was Ganondorf going after one of the keys to the Sacred Realm..."

Zelda quickly dropped her voice to a whisper as she plunged a hand into her pocket. "This! The Ocarina of Time."

Pulling her hand back out, she carried an ocarina that resembled Link's, only made of a more solid material. It was also a lunar blue colour, rather than brown. On the spout was an engraving of the Triforce.

"It's carved from a Timeshift Stone. They were little ore deposits from centuries ago. When you were to hit them with a weapon, they would turn anything within a certain radius into their forms from dozens of years ago."

"And what does it have to do with the Sacred Realm?" asked Link, cautiously looking around in case Ganondorf came sneaking in.

"Well, it serves a purpose in conjunction with three other items: The three Spiritual Stones."

" **THREE?** " echoed Link.

"Yes, three. You already know about the Kokiri Emerald, but there are two others. When they are all brought together… they can be used with the Ocarina of Time to get into the Sacred Realm."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" interrupted Navi as she floated in between the two. "We need more details! What happens when we assemble the three?"

"Off in the far edges of the city, there is a church where people go to worship. It is known as the Temple of Time. There is a large, stone tablet in the middle of this temple where the three Spiritual Stones are meant to go. You then have to play a song on the Ocarina of Time to open the Door of Time. This song is the Song of Time. Finally, this opens up the gate to the sacred realm."

"So..." started Link as he sat down on the top step of Zelda's platform, "your plan is that we get the two other spiritual stones, we go to the Temple of Time, we play the Song of Time on the Ocarina of Time to open the Door of Time and get to the Triforce before some evil nutcracker like Ganondorf gets to it first. Is that right?"

Navi sighed. She was quickly getting a headache. "The Ocarina of Time, the Temple of Time, the Door of Time, the Song of Time… who made all of this and what is their obsession with time?"

Zelda joined Link on the step. "Link, to answer you first, I am afraid you're only half right. I cannot leave the castle for long periods of time. If I were to leave and not come back in what might be days, my father might be rash and blame the Gerudo, which could escalate into a war. I'm afraid you're going to have to take the difficult part of this task." As Link frowned, Zelda turned to Navi. "To answer you, the Temple of Time was built by a group of minstrels, who were actually sages. They built it to house the Triforce and protect it from evil. They dedicated it about time because of how time is the most ruthless force on the planet. Everything gets lost to time. Everything. For that reason, they based everything about their project on time in hopes to be spared. It appears to have worked, because the temple is still as good as new."

Link listened on in awe. This was like a history lesson from the Great Deku Tree! For the first time, he started to smile thinking of him. "Ma'am… this all sounds really serious." he said to Zelda.

"It really is. My plan is that I shall keep the Ocarina of Time safe here while you go and find the other two spiritual stones. You shall then come back to this castle, find me and have me escort you to the Temple of Time."

"All right." started Link. "I believe you. Your father may not, but we do **.** We are the only ones who can save Hyrule." He put his hand on the hilt of his sword. "So, where is the first Spiritual Stone I need to get?"

"The first is the Goron Ruby. That resides with the Gorons in Death Mountain. They're gentle giants. They get along very well with humans, so you should be able to explain what you need to do and get it quickly. My attendant will show you where to go. Don't be afraid to talk to her."

"Your what?" Link raised his head to look ahead of him, away from the window. There, posing like a ninja… was a grey-haired woman in thin armour.

"You will need to go past a guard to get into Death Mountain, but that's only because the road up there can get dangerous. This should help you get through." The princess slid a hand into her pocket and, this time, pulled out a signed letter. "Show that to the guard at the village." With that, she pushed it into his hands.

Once again, Link bowed, this time with a rush of adrenaline. He had gone from living exclusively in a forest to exploring the outside world and meeting new people and that felt great. "It was an honour."

The princess did a curtsy to him. "Link, may the goddesses be with you."

* * *

 ** _Quote of the Day:_**

* * *

" _A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom."_


	9. Living Ghosts

"I am Impa of the Sheikah."

This is what the woman who Zelda had guided Link to said when the latter nervously shuffled towards her. He didn't know how, but he knew that she was the one who had ordered the guards to take the princess's towels to her. If she noticed that Link had tricked her by hiding in the basket, who knew what kind of trouble he'd have be in?

"Do not worry. I knew you were hiding in that laundry basket. That is why I stopped the guards from opening it." said the woman. She had clearly seen Link's forehead shining with sweat. She did not seem mad or annoyed in the slightest. "I am responsible for protecting the princess, and everything is exactly as she foretold. That is why I let you speak to her." The woman spoke with a bit of an accent. Her R's would constantly bounce around as if she was gargling a small amount of water as she said them.

"I'm sorry for trying to sneak in like that, but the princess herself told me to get in that way." Link still felt rather guilty about his deceit.

"I know. I accompanied her out into the square several times while she searched for you. When she told you to sneak in that way, I did everything I could to make sure it would work. I turned out the light in the storage room, I removed every basket in there except one and, as you know, I made sure the guards didn't open it."

Link stepped back and wiped his head clean. "So, you were there the whole time! Honestly, I thought she was just a normal girl when I saw her in the street."

Impa moved the conversation onward. "You are a courageous young man, heading out on a big, new adventure, despite the myth that leaving the forest kills Kokiri."

"A myth?" repeated Navi, "So, a Kokiri leaving the forest will not kill them? Not even one?"

"Correct." said Impa as she lowered her arms to her sides, "The meaning of that is because of what happens to the field at night. When the bell is rang at eight o'clock, that is a signal for all farmers to get back into town before nine. At that time, the drawbridge is raised." explained Zelda's bodyguard. She looked like she was about to continue, but she stopped herself to ask him a question. "Have you heard of Stalchildren?"

"Well… I was taught that 'Stal' was an old Hylian word for 'dead', so… Wait, please don't tell me they're..."

Impa quickly butted in. "No, they aren't real children. They are skeletons of people, but they don't reflect one's physical self. Depending on the original person's mind, they would become either Stalchildren or Stalfos upon death. If their personality was immature, they would become Stalchildren. If they were mature, however, they would become the more dangerous Stalfos."

"So… what relation do the Stalchildren have with Hyrule Field?" asked Navi as Link took everything in, "Do they turn up at night?"

"Yes. Stalchildren, despite not being as dangerous as Stalfos, are still quite threatening to travellers. They burn in the sunlight, so they hide underground until the moon rises. When it does, they listen for vibrations on the surface. If they sense any, they rise and attack with their sharp claws."

Link warily looked around himself. It was broad daylight and he wasn't in Hyrule Field any more, but all this talk was getting him paranoid.

"Have no fear for now." assured Impa, "It is daylight. There are no monsters in here."

"Thank you, Miss Impa." Link bowed once to the attendant. "Now, sorry, but can we get back on topic? What do I need to do now?"

Taking a breath to prepare, Impa took out a flask and had a drink of water to wet her lips a bit. "In the princess's dream, my role was teaching a melody to the one in the forest. A song passed down in the royal family for generations. I played this song for Zelda ever since she was a little baby. Only close members of the royal family are allowed to use this song, but I can make an exception for you. Listen well to Zelda's Lullaby."

With that, Impa put a finger in her mouth, took a deep breath and began to whistle.

 **B D A, G A B, D, A,  
**

 **B, D A, G D, C B A...**

Back in the forest, Saria taught Link how to recognise music notes by using letters as she raised him. This skill was coming in handy. As if in a trance, Link took out the Fairy Ocarina, thinking of Saria with a pang of guilt and played along, placing his fingers over the little holes on the side to change the notes.

The song was so foreign, yet so familiar at the same time. It reminded Link of his old home in the forest, it reminded him of Saria and finally, it reminded him of… the Great Deku Tree.

Another single tear slid down Link's face, along the mouthpiece of the Fairy Ocarina and into one of the note holes, causing the Ocarina to make a slight gurgling noise. Not wanting to look bad any more, Link quickly recovered. "Sorry about that. Thank you." he whispered, wiping his eyes.

"If the guards find you, there will be trouble. Let me lead you out of the castle."

* * *

"Have you got them dry yet?"

Mido squeezed his wet clothes through the mangle, spinning the handle. Ever since he lashed out at Link and got thrown in the pond in return, he had to wear one of his other tunics, which had turned bright pink from the time he accidentally put his red tunic in the washing with his white one. His red one had gotten dirty from playing, so there was no way he could wear that.

"They still stink of pond!" growled the boy, sniffing his green tunic. "I tried to tell everyone that boy was a nutcase and he only proved it by pushing me into that pond and running to his death! They are STILL fawning over him!"

"What was that about him dying?"

Accidentally dumping his clothes back into the bucket of soapy water, Mido whirled around, almost falling off his stool. Saria stood in his doorway, an expression of mixed smugness and disappointment in Mido. "Oh! Saria! Um… What a surprise!"

Saria ignored his obvious diversion. "Well, smarty-pants, take a look at this! He's sent me proof that he is doing just fine, just as I asked!"

Saria, whose hands had been hidden behind her back, revealed that she had been holding a thin strip of paper, tangled handwriting decorating the front. "Read it!" she demanded.

There was a very awkward period of silence from Mido as Saria held the piece of paper pretty much in front of his nose, writing side down so he couldn't yet see it.

…

…

…

"Lemme see that!" snapped Mido as if she hadn't even told him to read it. Turning over the paper, Mido looked in disgust at Link's signature.

"Oh, well that's just lovely(!) And he's even drawn a little smiley face on it as well! Quaint(!) It's not like that loony from earlier could have written that himself(!)"

"I am tired of your sarcasm! When will you learn? He isn't the same as all of us!"

Mido rolled his eyes once more. "Well, now you admit it! At last! I always knew that you knew he wasn't one of u-"

Turning red, Saria's hand met with Mido's face, tipping him backwards into his washing basket, causing a fit of stifled laughter from Noi, and another tunic to smell of pond water. "I'm tired of your disrespect, I'm tired of your blind hatred to others and I'm tired of being tired! I'm off! I've had enough! The OTHERS can find me in my usual cool-down spot!"

Saria stomped off out the doorway while Mido sat in his soapy wash bucket and Noi struggled to contain her laughter.

There was only one place she could have possibly been going.

The Sacred Forest Meadow.

The Sacred Forest Meadow was a divine area deep in the forest that hardly anyone knew how to get to. This was because, to get to it, you would need to go through the Lost Woods. This congregation of trees lived up to its name. It had a path that went through the forest, past a deep hole in the ground, around a deep pond and into the Sacred Forest Meadow.

However, there was a catch.

If you were to take a wrong turn in the Lost Woods, you would end up back at the entrance back in the forest. Worse, if you were not a Kokiri but still a child, entered the Lost Woods through another entrance from elsewhere and took a wrong turn, you would turn into a Skull Kid. Mischievous beings who would live out their days by playing pranks and tricks on people. Contrary to their names, they were not skeletal, being made up of wood instead. They coined themselves with that name, which may explain it.

There was one Skull Kid in the woods that just settled in one day. He was very well known among the Kokiri. Several children would go to his spot and listen to his tunes. Skull Kids had the ability to gather information about other worlds through a source that they would not explain to anyone, so he had plenty of songs to entertain with.

Other than this, one wrong turn and it was back to square one. The Lost Woods was mostly ignored by the Kokiri because there was nowhere go other than the Skull Kid's stump. However, Saria, through trial and error, went through the bluebells and snowdrops to find the Sacred Forest Meadow. A little maze of mossy, stone walls lead along the grassy plateau and to a Saria's Secret Spot. A small field about the size of a manor bedroom with a small tree stump in the middle, just like the Skull Kid's seat. Behind that was a destroyed staircase that used to lead up to a mammoth-sized mansion that hadn't seen residence in decades. Not one person had been able to think of a way up.

By the time you'd read all of those descriptions, Saria had made it to her little spot and sat down on her tree stump, pulling out a wooden Ocarina. "Everything's OK." she breathed to herself, "I'm OK and He's OK. No need to worry."

Peace at last! She pulled out her Ocarina, placed her mouth over the mouthpiece and started playing.

 **F A B, F A B, D, E…**

* * *

Twelve past nine in the morning. Link and Impa both walked across the drawbridge of the town, having escaped Hyrule Castle through an underground route that resulted in them emerging from a manhole in the middle of the town square.

They got some really strange looks.

"Wow. So, that's the volcano." hummed Link in wonder as he looked to his left. He was surprised he hadn't noticed it on his way to the castle but in the distance, over a precipice wall, was a giant mound of rock piercing the sky. The smoke that came from the top of it swirled around to form a delicate halo.

"That is the home of the Gorons and the location of the first Spiritual Stone. That volcano is called Death Mountain"

Link hung his mouth open and raised his head a little to show he understood, but he almost immediately did a double-take. "Wait, what? DEATH Mountain? So, what you're saying is it's REALLY dangerous?"

"Not nearly as dangerous as it used to be." explained Impa, "Death Mountain was named a century ago, when it was still active. Now, it is merely dormant. The biggest threats now are the Tektites and falling rocks. No lava."

"No lava?"

"No lava, but the Gorons love to play with fire." continued Impa. "That wooden shield is very precious to you, right?"

His face falling again, Link took the Deku Shield off of his back and closely looked at the little carving of the Great Deku Tree he had done on the front. It was minimalistic like the emblem of a secondary school, but it was the Great Deku Tree nonetheless. Looking at it made Link tear up again. "Y-yes. It's… my family tree. Literally." he made an attempt to cheer himself up, but you can't really laugh at your own joke as you see the punchline coming a mile away.

"As I thought." said Impa. "In that case, you may need to dwell in the village of my people for a while first."

"A village?" echoed Link. He scanned the area around the mountain for any signs of a mountain. He could see smoke rising into the air just below the base of the volcano over the rock wall. Either a fireplace in the village or something had gone HORRIBLY wrong up there.

"Yes, a village. Cross the bridge there to get over the river and go up that flight of stairs in the wall. Then you will find Kakariko Village. That is how you get into Death Mountain. Show that letter to the guard by the metal gate and he should open it for you. Zelda and I shall await your successful return. Try the local inn if you're looking for a more heat-resistant shield."

"Lady Impa, thank you for all you've done. And Zelda." finished Link. He turned to Impa and took one more bow. As he lowered his head, there was a blinding flash and a massive **BANG** that stole his sight and blocked his ears. When Link looked up again, Impa had vanished from sight, a round imprint in the ground and brown, organic shards on the floor like glass from a window.

Shards from a Deku Nut.

"Aaaaaaand she's done a runner!" moaned Link as he kicked the ground in frustration. "Great! I forgot to ask her what my shield had to do with anything!"

"I think she meant that your shield would catch fire if you went into Death Mountain." chimed in Navi. She looked over at Death Mountain and then flittered up to try and see the village.

"But where am I meant to get a metal one? Those things probably aren't cheap!" Link called up to her. Instead of answering him, Navi bounced in the air before giddily flying back to her friend. "Link! Link! I see it! There's a village over the rock walls! She was right!"

* * *

The journey to Kakariko Village was longer than Link had thought. He had crossed the bridge and walked along the riverside for what seemed like minutes, but the entrance in the wall looked like it was getting further and further away. Maybe his energy was escaping. Maybe the events of the last few days had taken the will to talk out of him.

…

…

…

"Link, you've been silent for this entire walk. Are you okay? Are you missing home?"

Thinking of his home still was off limits to Link. "Yes… That's normal, isn't it?"

"Yes!" replied his companion, "It's perfectly normal to miss your home. It's just… There's something else on your mind. I don't know how, but I can tell."

"No. I'm not worrying about anything else. Ganondorf doesn't scare me!" Link replied. He hunched over, clenched his hands into fists and walked a little faster. Navi wasn't believing that.

"That's suspiciously specific. Look, you can tell me. We're friends, right?"

Link stopped in his tracks before he sat down on a rock. There, he wept yet again. For the Great Deku Tree, for Saria, for his home, for his ruined party, for all the other Kokiri, even Mido, who would probably fall into madness without the Great Deku Tree, and, surprisingly, how he had destroyed Gohma. Not that he felt bad, but he still could not kick that out of his head. It was thoroughly burned in. Her blank expression, her two halves, her flickering static inside, all was still haunting him.

Maybe it was her.

"I can't do it!" gurgled Link. Navi was silent as she listened. "Ganondorf killed the Great Deku Tree, who could survive a FOREST FIRE! If he were to LOOK at me funny I'd die instantly and painfully!"

"Look." was Navi's gentle reply as she flew over and perched on Link's knees. "Breathe. Slow. Calm down. Listen to me."

Still heaving up and down, Link wiped his eyes and paid attention to Navi, who spread her wings out like a perched butterfly.

"I know an old saying from a different place. The Great Deku Tree taught me this one in particular. Have you heard about how 'beside the corpse, there are living ghosts'?"

"Huh? What does that mean?"

"It means that when someone is killed, there are people that will try to avenge them. Just look what's happened here! Ganondorf killed the Great Deku Tree and here you are, avenging him. I think he's still with us, Link. Even now. Understand?"

Link still did not raise his head, but his tears stopped coming. He took one big breath, calming himself. "All right. I'll trust you. Thank you."

"That's the way." reassured Link's companion. "Now, the entrance to the village is just over there. Not far to go now. How about we go for a food break?"

"That sounds good."

* * *

All of Link's worries and sorrow instantly left him the second he finished climbing the last stone step and he crested the grass once more. He had arrived. A quaint, countryside village past a large wooden sign that hung from an arch overhead.

" **WELCOME TO KAKARIKO.** "

Past that sign were buildings of red brick and brown tile roofs, white stone and blue, wooden roofs, a brick wishing well with a wooden beam going over the top, joined together by two others.

"Are you feeling any better?" asked Navi as Link stayed silent, "I don't know about you, but this place is making me feel… relaxed. Back in that town, there were people all over the place, rushing around, shouting, but here… just look around! Everyone's all calm and peaceful!"

"Yeah. The countryside. It reminds me of the forest, but without all the trees. The air smells… kind of similar." replied Link as he passed the guard that was stationed outside the main entrance. "About what you said… thank you. I needed that. I really did. It made me stop and think. I need to toughen up. I won't cry any more."

"Well, you don't need to stop altogether. I understand. You're afraid of Ganondorf. Who wouldn't be, if they knew what was happening?"

"Maybe you've got a point."

Not really thinking, Link was drawn to one particular building in the village. One with voices and cheering coming from inside.

 **THE WORLD'S END**

Inn

"This is the place Impa told us about, Link. Is there a shield for sale in there?" Navi floated up to read the giant, wood banner and then rejoined Link.

"Well, this sounds inviting. Do they talk about the end of the world in there?"

"No, not that kind! The pub was named after a story of a guy who apparently sailed a ship off a giant waterfall and they thought they'd reached the edge of the world. Some nutters still believe that theory. Maybe we can ask some of the people in there about a tough shield!"

He didn't even want to do it. Who knows who could have been partying away in there? Despite all his attempts not to go in, Link found that he had turned the handle, opened the wooden door and gone in anyway.

* * *

A talented pianist hammered on the keys of a piano.

Carpenters on their break, ordering drinks from the bar.

Bartenders cashing in money in return for drinks.

 **Creeeeeeeak!**

The door opened and there stood a little boy, no older than ten and dressed like an elf. Everything immediately ground to a halt.

 **Plink!** The pianist accidentally hit a combination of keys, making an unpleasant noise.

 **Tinkle!** A glass beer mug snapped straight off the handle and crashed to the ground.

 **Hisssss!** The bartender accidentally turned the tap on his beer barrel, spilling it all over himself.

"Whoa, we're not in a saloon!" declared Navi, "Carry on! We're just… passing through!"

As if nothing happened, the pianist continued hammering his keys.

The carpenters continued screaming jokes and laughing like mad.

The bartender turned the tap on his barrel back off.

"What was all that about?" whispered Navi in Link's ear over the racket of the pub.

"I have no idea. Maybe that's just… something they do around here."

Navigating the ocean of legs, Link finally reached the counter and, with a bit of a jump, pulled himself up onto one of the barstools.

"Um… hello..." stuttered the bartender. He was obviously not used to serving children. "What'll it be, then?"

"Actually, I'm here for a tougher shield." replied Link, signalling the wooden shield on his back.

"Hmmmm… Sorry, we don't stock it. How about grenadine mixed with lemonade?"

"What?" Interrupted Navi, flying out from Link's hat. She turned an embarrassed shade of red. "No, not a drink! We were wondering if you know where we can find a shield that is made of metal! Lady Impa told us to look here!"

" **LADY IMPA?** "

A booming voice blared across the entire room, causing everything to stop where it was. A bald man with a blue coat, an orange shirt and baggy trousers was the owner of this voice. He came striding over to Link, his white moustache twitching wildly, before he plonked himself down in the stool next to Link. "Lady Impa? A tougher shield?" he repeated, "I know exactly what you mean!"

"You do?" questioned Link, sceptical.

"Why, yes! She is talking about the Hylian Shield!"

"The Hylian Shield?"

"Yes! Is there an echo in here? The Hylian Shield is the toughest shield you can get around here! Legendary, so it is! It was apparently buried with members of the Royal Family in this very village at the graveyard!"

"Wow..." breathed Link. He got off his stool, about to leave to find this Hylian Shield. "You seem very well educated!"

"Why, just last night I was up late, working at my desk and burning the midnight oil!" The man stuck his nose up in the air as he boasted.

"Did… I just hear you say you were working?" teased the bartender as he cupped his hand behind his ear. Immediately, the whole pub burst into hysterical laughter.

" **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-** "

" **SHUT UUUUUP!** " The man hammered his glass on the table. Despite just being a customer, everyone fell silent as if they had just died on the spot. "Yes, I was, my employees! I spent hours at my old book of history!"

With a very cunning grin on his face, one of the carpenters slid over, displaying his hand towards the man like he was pointing out a statue. "And he almost got it opened up too!" he jabbed before having a good old laugh at his own joke. Rolling his eyes, his boss picked up his mug and lightly knocked him in the head with it. "Ow!"

"Sorry about that, kid." continued the boss as his worker collapsed to the floor,

However, Link had already left the pub while no one was looking. Having been left behind, Navi looked left and right for any signs of her companion before she squeaked in realisation and buzzed out the window.

"Hey, where did 'e go?"

* * *

 _ **Quote Of The Day:**_

* * *

" _Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you."_


	10. Moaning and Groaning

"Link! Slow down! Where are we going?" panted Navi, navigating the mosh pit of villagers. As a man carrying a plank over his shoulder turned around, she had to quickly fly down to avoid getting swatted.

Link showed no signs of stopping, except to read an arrowed sign pointing out the graveyard. "We're going off to the graveyard to find that shield! What would happen if I were to go up there with this one? It would get baked up like a cake, that's what!"

"At least slow down a bit! You're REALLY fast!"

Link slowed down… by a very small margin. He continued running through the village, past the well, past a rather flustered woman with a pen of chickens and through a little arch in a stone wall. According to a sign next to it, this was the graveyard.

Still frantically flapping to keep up, Navi stopped to read a message on the wooden bulletin board that was erected by the entrance.

 **CAUTION!**

 **Ghost sightings in the graveyard!**

"Oh, no, what has he done? HEY, LINK! STOP! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN THERE!" Turning yellow with fear, Navi almost warped back in time from her speed as she desperately flew to the graveyard after Link.

* * *

" **My soldiers.** " an astoundingly deep voice shook a hidden room deep within Hyrule Castle. Princess Zelda and Impa were unaware of it, as were the guards and soldiers of the castle. It was completely black and concealed behind a loose brick that would open the hideout when pulled. It was built with black bricks and had a golden throne with red pads for sitting on. The owner of the deep voice was sitting on said throne. Above him was a sculpture of a dragon filled with lava.

At this man's order, some rather foreign looking women marched in through spiked doors, each of them carrying a sharp naginata with them. They wore silky, purple clothes and pointed, yellow shoes. Their hair was fiery red. Their skin was a tanned brown colour. All of them marched towards their leader and kneeled to him.

" **Do you remember our ceremony at the main part of the castle? When I turned to leave, I saw Princess Zelda watching us through the window. Do you know what that means?** "

One of the women raised her head. "Does it mean that you're scopophobic?"

" **No! YOU IDIOT! She had someone with her! A little boy in green! The same one I have been dreaming about!** " roared the leader. All of the women flinched in shock.

" **That boy is always in every one of my dreams! I am always so close to getting to the Triforce and every time, he comes around WITH A GIANT SWORD FIVE TIMES BIGGER THAN HIM!** "

The same woman from last time cleared her throat. "Maybe it's just a coincidence. After all, we have recurring dreams."

" **ABOUT A BOY I'VE NEVER EVEN MET? No, it's a prophecy. I know it! That kid is going to be the one boy who stops me! Whether it be skill or just luck, he is conspiring against me and will beat me if we don't do something!** "

"You've never met him? Then… what could he be planning?"

" **There is one flaw in my plans. If they were to get to the Triforce before us, our whole plan will go down the drain!** **I've already cast a curse on that sack of whale blubber at Zora's Fountain and blocked** **the entrance to the Goron's rock cavern until they agree to hand over their stone, but if that kid lifts the curse and gets rid of the boulder, the Gorons and the Zora might give him the Spiritual Stones** **and then all he'll have to do is tell Zelda so she can use the Ocarina of Time to open the gate of time to get to the Triforce!** "

"Wait, you've just given me an idea, great leader!" said one of the women at the very back of the room, standing and raising her weapon into the air. "Why do any work when he is supposedly doing it all for us?"

The malevolent man glared at the soldier with his yellow eyes, but then this emotion died down and was replaced with interest. " **What do you mean? Do tell, for I am interested.** "

The one woman stood up and walked down the red carpet towards the man's throne, twirling her naginata in her hand. "Well, this kid's plan is supposedly to collect the three Spiritual Stones so he can enter the chamber further beyond. If he succeeds… the item he finds in there will put him into a catatonic catnap for years so that it's sheer power doesn't kill him on the spot! In that time, you have more than enough chances to sneak into the Sacred Realm and find the Triforce."

In deep thought, the boss placed his hand against his red beard. " **That's not a bad idea, actually.** "

"So, leader? Should we put it into action?"

" **Fine. But send a disguised ambush to Death Mountain. We can't have him going too far!** " the armoured man stood up, his armour clanking like the earth's plates, before thrusting his fist into the air.

"Yes, master." responded all the woman as they laid their weapons down and all bowed their heads simultaneously.

* * *

 **Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter…**

Not long after Link entered the graveyard, it had started raining. It was very jarring, as it was a beautiful, blue day just moments ago. Link was silent as he crossed the stile between two parts of an uneven brick wall. The Great Deku Tree had always told him to respect the dead by being quiet around a graveyard. He was not going to go charging in screaming "WHICH ONE OF YOU HAS THE HYLIAN SHIELD?"

Link sat down on a little wooden bench that was just behind a cliff face, which had part of the rock wall missing above him. He needed some time to think, and he found that if he were to sit down and think, the answer would present itself.

"Link! Link! There are ghosts in here! The bulletin-" squealed Navi as she came zipping into the graveyard and towards Link's bench. Link pressed his index finger to his lips.

"Ssssshh. You're not meant to make a racket at a graveyard. People are trying to sleep around here." replied Link, keeping his voice low. He put his head back down to think.

"But, Link, there are ghosts in here! Who knows what could be lurking about in this graveyard?"

"I don't know." replied Link, "but we need a better shield, and the man in the pub said that I could find one over here. Now, if only I knew where to look..."

Accepting Link's decision, Navi roosted under Link's hat. The last thing she wanted was a hungry raven thinking that she was a juicy bug.

"I wouldn't sit there if I were you."

A rough and gravelly voice caused Link to look up.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!** " screamed the boy.

The most petrifying face he had ever seen was peering down at him and that's really saying something, considering what was in the Great Deku Tree. It was the face of a man, but completely and utterly lopsided. One half was bigger than it should have been, while the other was smaller. The face **SMILED** at him to try and calm him down, but that just revealed a set of crooked and rotten teeth, making the boy scream even harder.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** " joined Navi, turning a solid yellow colour inside Link's hat. "I told you!"

"You really don't have to worry, I'm not a ghost." slurred the man. His speech was about as distorted as his face. "Quite the opposite. I'm the undertaker of this garden."

"Oh." Link took some deep breaths, trying to calm down. He felt terrible for screaming at the sight of this man.

He had probably just disturbed all the graves!

"Seriously, I wouldn't sit there. I think you should move." warned the man.

"Sorry, sir, but why? Is it dangerous?" asked Navi, turning a serious shade of grey and emerging from cover. The man wasn't at all surprised to see a fairy outside of the forest and he spoke to her like he spoke to a person.

"Read that inscription on the gold plate. It's on the backrest."

Link turned around and scooched over. Sure enough, there was a small, golden plate on the horizontal bar of the backrest.

* * *

 _ **In loving memory of Asher Todd**_

 _ **Age 0-43**_

 _ **Taken from us by a rockslide in this very spot.**_

* * *

"A rockslide?" muttered Link in wonder. A falling stone from the cliff above made the rupee drop. Yelping, Link leaped off of the bench and backed against a fence behind the man. "Who on earth would put a bench in a place prone to rockslides?"

"I tried to tell her to put it a bit forward, but his wife was adamant about putting it in his very favourite spot of this graveyard. That area has lots of rockslides." garbled the gravekeeper.

"She's going to get someone killed with that! You need to be firm. Tell her that you CANNOT put that seat there, and move it. Just a bit forward. Maybe so it faces opposite his favourite spot so people can see it rather than sit at it."

The undertaker laughed, but his deformed face caused him to spit strings of saliva, so he covered his mouth with his hairy hand. "I say, you seem to know more than me about this kind of thing. My name is Dampé. What did you come here for? Do you need a burial service?"

This would have come off as a threat to Link, but the man's tone of voice was benevolent. So much so, that Link felt a little bad telling him about his real intentions. "Actually, I'm… looking for the Hylian Shield. I'm trying to get up Death Mountain, but… if I do, this shield might burn up. It holds very precious value to me, so I was looking for a metal one."

"The Hylian Shield? Did you try The World's End back in the village? I've heard that a lot of people know about it there."

"Well, I asked, but I was in such a rush that I ran out the second I heard that it was here." Link hung his head in shame of his impatience.

"That means that is my turn to fill you in. Do you see the bigger grave over there? The very end of the graveyard?"

Dampé pointed over to a large monument between two other gravestones. It had the mark of the Triforce on it, which was painted golden. Link nodded in response to Dampé's question.

"That is where the last generation of the Royal Family were buried. They left a powerful shield behind, deep within their tomb. If one knew the identification song of the Royal Family, the dead would let them in to try and reclaim their shield."

" _The identification song?"_ thought Link.

" _Zelda's Lullaby?"_ thought Navi, turning green in thought.

 **BOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOoooooMMMMM!**

A clap of thunder shook the graveyard. Link slammed his hands over his ears at the sound, but Dampé looked like he was pretty much used to it.

"The weather's… getting pretty bonkers right about now. I shall be going back to my hut until my next job arises. I'll see you soon."

Once again, being a gravekeeper, that last sentence sounded like a threat, but Link knew he was still a bit paranoid.

"The Royal Families Identification Song." repeated Link. "Is that..."

"It's the song Impa taught you back in the castle!" deduced Navi, turning an enthusiastic shade of orange, "Impa said that only members of the royal family are usually allowed to learn that song, so it's kind of… identification, if that makes sense. Try playing it near the grave!"

Link grimaced at the thought of what would happen. Would a giant ghost come rising out to battle? Would an undead hand reach out and drag him inside the grave? "Well… it's worth a shot."

As the rain continued, Link advanced on the royal gravestone that lay at the end of the site, wandering past several gravestones along the way.

* * *

 **Ulric Brickenden**

 **Maker of bricks**

 **Age: 0-79**

 **Didn't use enough plaster on his last wall**

* * *

 **Helewys Brooker**

 **Dweller by the brook.**

 **Age: 0-43**

 **"Whoever nudged me, I couldn't swim."**

* * *

 **Tybalt Browne**

 **Chef**

 **Age: 0-28**

" **I told you those kippers were off!"**

* * *

 **THE ROYAL FAMILY'S TOMB.**

* * *

No other inscription on that, just the name. This was definitely the place.

Sucking in lungfuls of air, Navi floated to a gathering of dust on the lower portion of the gravestone. Upon releasing it, debris shot off the surface and flew everywhere, just like what had happened to Link's birthday cake. Link and Navi both coughed and choked in the storm, but the rain quickly dampened it down.

 **The Royal Guards looking for the Hylian Shield,** **play proof that you are one with the Royal Family.**

"Link, you know what to do." said Navi. This wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Right."

Link took his wooden Ocarina out, which immediately started browning under the rain, inserted the mouthpiece and began to play Zelda's Lullaby. The rain dripped into the note holes, causing the Ocarina's notes to gurgle once more, but the song was still very coherent.

 **Pitter patter pitter patter pitterpatterpitterpatterpitterpatterpitterpatterPITTERPATTERPITTERPATTERPITTERPATTER…**

As soon as Link finished playing, the rain got harder and harder. Lightning pounded the ground with what sounded like a blast from a musket. One particularly dark cloud began brewing over the large tombstone.

"Is this supposed to happen?" asked Navi, knowing that no one would know the answer. To her, these thick raindrops were like a shower of medicine balls. Unable to take it any more, she sought shelter under Link's hat again. "Link, we'd better hide underneath a tree or something."

"Where am I meant to go? No trees around here."

"Maybe you could-"

Link stopped listening when a strange ringing noise entered his ears. The Sierpinski triangle on the front of the gravestone had started glowing a bright, victorious yellow. As the black cloud over the tomb began to flash with lightning, the triangle reacted more and more.

"Navi, I think my song worked." said Link. Navi lifted Link's hat up so she could see, turning a morbidly curious shade of black. Before she could utter a word, a massive bolt of lightning was thrown from the sky, striking the gravestone dead on. The impact threw Link into shock and onto the floor as shards of rock flew everywhere, one of them gliding all the way across the graveyard and knocking on Dampé's hut like a salesman trying to sell shoe umbrellas. Surprisingly, there was no response.

* * *

"Link? Link! Answer me! Are you all right?"

Link's vision enhanced to the sight of no rain, no clouds and Navi, who had turned pink.

What's that supposed to mean?

Anyway, Link had been lying on the floor in shock for about half a minute with his eyes staring open and his chest inflating and deflating like a foot pump. He hadn't even blinked during that time, though his vision looked like he was underwater until it returned to normal.

"Navi? What does that colour mean?" burbled Link as he groggily sat up, looking at his companion. Navi tilted to one side, confused.

"What?" she said, puzzled. It was not until she looked in a puddle that had formed in the rain had she noticed her colour change. "Oh, sorry! Never mind that! That's what happens when I get… concerned! You worried me!"

"Well, what just happened? The gravestone exploded and-"

Link stood up, steadied himself and noticed that beneath the gravestone was a hole that had a ladder, leading deep down into **complete and utter darkness.**

"Navi, are your colours determined by your mood?" asked Link to his fairy.

"Yes, why?"

"What colour makes you go white, if any? That's a pretty bright colour."

Navi was a bit surprised by this question, but she began to think. What she thought of made her turn white.

"Well, there's cleanliness, purity, newness, peace, innocence, things like that."

Link tried to find a way of having his partner stay in that colour. "Well, think of… a clean room, crystal clear water, a shiny, new shield, peaceful meadows, maybe a bit of playing around with other fairies. That should do the trick!"

Navi did as she was advised. Her white glow began to intensify as she hummed in thought.

"Perfect!" exclaimed Link, scaring Navi and temporarily causing her to turn yellow before she quickly switched back. "Now, in we go! That shield is as good as ours!"

With that, Link climbed down the rickety ladder into **the darkness.**

* * *

Finally, Link felt his boots against the cold, hard ground. Opening his eyes, Link found that the area was well lit, due to several torches lighting up the catacombs, as if people were expected to be down here. The floor was tiled nicely, but the walls were left in their natural state of curved, jagged rock. The tomb was dank and cold, to the point where Link could see his breath. Immediately, he began to shake and quake. A knee-high tunic with short sleeves was not appropriate for sub-zero temperatures. Navi herself was glowing white like a snowflake from the cold. Of course, this was not needed any more, since there were two torches off down the path providing light.

And heat.

"Navi, let's get over there NOW. The torches are probably nice and warm!" suggested Link. Before Navi had responded, Link had started to trot off down the small incline towards the first room. As he stepped towards the lights…

 **CRUNCH!**

Something broke underfoot. Hopping back in surprise, Link inspected the sole of his boot to clean the gunk off from the bug he had supposedly squashed.

He wished it was just a bug.

Instead, his boot was peppered with white, sharpened pieces of…

bone.

"Oh."

Looking ahead, Link saw the broken skull of a human that he had stepped on.

"Oh."

Looking around, Link could see various other bones that were strewn around the room. It looked like a Halloween party had gone Pete Tong.

"Oh. Oh. Oh, no!"

"Link, let's forget about this and just move on!" said Navi. That was pretty much an order. Not about to pass that up, Link quickened his pace as he went to the torches.

" **Shwee!** "

A chilling squeak. I didn't know that was possible, but a chilling squeak caused Link to hit the brakes and stop moving entirely like a chapparal bird.

" **Shwee!** "

" **Shwee!** "

" **Shwee!** "

" **Shwee!** "

Behind him, several orange pairs of eyes opened. This time, it wasn't a Deku Scrub ready to knock an attacking Skulltula off of him.

With several noises of flapping wings, Link felt wind tickling his back with fickle fingers. Slowly turning around…

caused Navi to turn yellow.

Little, black gliders, glowing eyes of ember, flew at him with a wide wingspan. Navi tried to lock onto one of them, but there were too many. A single snap of jaws scared her back behind Link.

"Link, it's a swarm of Keese!" informed the fairy, her encyclopedic mind racing through her knowledge of monsters. "Keep your eye on them and try to take out several at once! Watch out for their sharp teeth!"

Link tried to focus on the entire swarm as if they were one big monster but without Navi he just couldn't focus. "Navi, please! Try and fly over there! I need your help!" pleaded the boy. Reluctantly, the fairy refused.

"Sorry, Link, but Keese prey on fairies! I can't get close! Just… try your best! Swing blindly!"

With a little sigh of regret, Link took the Kokiri Sword in both hands, reeled back and began to attack in a frenzy of random, directional slashes. There were pained squeals as Keese shot back through the air and disintegrated against the wall in blue flames. As much as it surprised Link, Navi's tactic of hyper offence was working wonders!

"Navi, this lot is driving me batty!" called Link at Navi, who had tried to take shelter in a fallen ribcage. "How much more is there? I can't keep this up forever!"

"Let's see..." hummed Navi, turning light green with seriousness. She spoke as if she was answering a Maths exam question. "There are only two dozen left."

" **TWENTY FOUR?** "

With a furious spin, Link took out about 16 of the Keese at once. The screaming monsters all flew back, disappearing in a lovely light show. Navi turned light blue, impressed, as her companion flawlessly destroyed seven more of the Keese before sheathing his sword and shield.

"Navi, everything's all right. You can come out now. Let's continue."

Wait, only seven?

Let's see… Twenty four minus sixteen equals eight, then minus seven and you get…

one.

Navi turned pink again, floating out from the bars of the ribcage to rejoin her friend. "Nicely done, Link! Good show!"

"Thank you! Now, the Hylian Shield can't be far from here. Let's continue onwards." replied the boy, drawing his sword and shield just in case before he stood near the torch. He let the warm air enter his body and warm him up, like the water from a whirlpool bath. He relaxed himself, felt his nerves washing away before…

one stray Keese shot out from behind a pelvis bone, having hidden from Link's rampage earlier.

"Link! Watch out! Run for it!" shouted Navi as she turned yellow once again. Link's reactions had considerably slowed because he had just started to relax. The Keese swooped through the air, straight through the torch, igniting itself in the process.

"Link, when a Keese goes through a torch, it turns into a Fire Keese! It's faster like this, so be careful!" warned Navi. True to her word, the Fire Keese began zipping unpredictably around the room like a laser in a room made entirely of mirrors. Link tried to keep his eye on it, but his eyes kept focusing on other things in the room. Rock formations, pieces of bone, anything but the enemy. In a second, it had zoomed behind Link and landed on his shoulder like a parrot, digging in its glowing claws and burning his skin with its fiery barrier. Immediately, Link could feel the pain.

" **OW!** " screamed the boy, doing everything he could to shake the beastie off of him. Try as he might, the monster would not move.

"Get off of him!" ordered Navi, even though there was no way it would comply. She turned red as blood in anger as she bashed the Keese from all sides. No use. The batty mammal opened its mouth, bared its red hot fangs and sunk them into Link's shoulder like an apple. The boy cried out once again, immediately seizing the enemy, almost crushing it with his bare hand and lobbing it across the room and into the wall, where it met the same fate as all the others.

"Link, are you all right?" gasped Navi in between puffs of breath as Link rolled up his sleeve to check the site of injection. The two cringed at the sight. Ow. An oval-shaped burn mark graffitied his shoulder, with two little holes dripping with blood from where the Keese bit him. It looked disgustingly like a pig's snout.

"Ow." moaned Link with a huff. "Navi, did you see any first aid in my bag?"

Thinking desperately, Navi scanned her memory of travelling in Link's pouch. She remembered sitting next to grilled Octorok and salad, but not any bandage or plasters. Feeling reassuring, she turned brown.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, if you want to turn around at any point to get first aid in the village, just tell me, OK?" she said gently, gently applying pressure to the bite.

"Yes, Navi. Thank you, Navi."

* * *

" **Dynaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhhh…** "

" **Dheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'nnnnnnnnnnn…** "

" **Pyttttthhhhhhhh...** "

No, reader, you haven't accidentally switched the language to Cornish, this is what Link and Navi started to hear as they got deeper and deeper into the catacombs. The walls were now glowing a radioactive green, as was the floor.

"Navi, do you hear all that moaning and groaning in the distance?" asked Link quietly, in case the source was lurking around the corner. Navi seemed confused until it sounded again.

" **Noooooowyyyyythhhhh...** "

Navi turned yellow again. This time, a more solid shade of yellow than she had ever displayed. This noise made her feel physically sick. She felt like she was going to throw up out of sheer dread and terror for a few horrible moments. "Oh… NO. Link, be as careful as you can!" ordered the fairy.

"Why?"

"Those are Redeads! They are the zombies of people who died with no soul! They are REALLY dangerous!"

All the colour drained from Link's face at the speed of a finger click. He had been told stories about Redeads. They always TERRIFIED him.

No, the Great Deku Tree did not teach him about them. He was not a terrible parent. Let's just say, Saria found out who did it and gave him a smack, as she has done several times in this story. Redeads didn't just attack victims, they BROKE them. In fact, I can't write down what they would do or the computer might burst into flames!

And now he had to walk through a whole corridor full of them! Well, I'd better get a bucket of water ready, then.

This room was long and wide. Little pools of acid were scattered strategically around the room to prevent shortcuts. Even if he couldn't completely see them, the boy could tell where they were from the steam rising into the air.

All over the path he had to take, hunched over and unresponsive, were…

Redeads.

Just as the double crosser from the forest had taken pleasure in telling him, they were highly emaciated, undead humanoids. They wore wooden masks on their faces that had three holes in them. Two for the eyes and one for the mouth, creating a black, blank stare due to the creatures lacking pupils. Their skin was so thin that their ribs were clearly defined. You could play them like a xylophone if they wouldn't… do their thing.

Their skin was so thin, you could see their veins and arteries.

Their skin was so thin, you could almost see completely see through them.

"Navi, what do I do here? What is their weakness?" shivered Link, scared out of his mind. It was scary enough hearing about them, but actually having to sneak through an ENTIRE ROOM of them…

"Well..." paused Navi before she turned the colour of a lit bulb with inspiration. "I know! They're blind, so they can't see you. They CAN hear you though, so you'll need to sneak around them."

"Anything else I should know?"

"When they hear you, they'll scream. LOUD. This gives them a brief period of sight. They'll use their scream to paralyse you if they hear you and then they'll use their new sight to-"

"I don't want to know the rest, thank you! That's all I need!"

Quiet as a mouse, Link crept out from the entrance of the room, towards the first Redead.

There it sat, hunched over like a gargoyle on the side of a grand cathedral. It couldn't see Link as he sidled across the wall behind it, but it could hear him. It could smell him.

Across the wall, further and further past, still lucky in not awakening the monster.

Not if a loose rock in the top corner of the wall had anything to say about it.

As Link slid across the wall, the stone dislodged, hitting Link right on his burn, still sore.

" **OW!** " screamed the boy at the very top of his lungs as his bite flared right back up. The colour drained from Navi as she knew exactly what was coming. The Redead in front of the pair, still facing away, twisted its head around to face Link.

As long as its eyes weren't visible, Link was in the clear.

…

…

…

 **SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!**

The monster's red, glowing eyes brightened at the prospect of fresh meat. Instantly, all the control of Link's body was snatched away from him. All he could do was quiver in absolute horror as the Redead got up, turned around and began slowly ambling towards him, its fangs bared.

"Link, snap out of it! Move! Run for your life!" cried Navi, turning red, pink, orange, yellow, blue, purple, grey, brown, black and white in a fast cycle. All of her emotions were amplified all the way up, but Link couldn't hear her or act. All he heard was a high pitched, smooth ringing noise.

 **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…**

Finally, the Redead reached him as Navi turned a depressing black and sobbed in despair as the monster grabbed Link with its sharp claws, turned him around, held him with one arm pinned behind his back and began biting him around his head and neck as if it were a vampire. She was powerless. He was powerless. It was powerful. The spell still hadn't broken, Link's face was still blank, but he could still feel everything.

" _It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts."_

"Link!" cried Navi, alternating between pink, yellow and red. She was scared, she was angry and she was… whatever pink means.

Finally, the spell broke. Fighting through the piercing pain, Link whipped around and cut through the monster's gummy flesh, all the way through until it emerged out the other side. Standing completely still, the Redead toppled apart, the two halves disintegrating almost immediately.

"Link, run! RUN!" shouted Navi, following Link as he threw away stealth and ran through the room, leaping the puddles of acid and completely circumventing the rest of the Redeads before he disappeared into the final room.

Running across a boardwalk, Link made it to the end. A smoothed out, gold-rimmed treasure chest awaited him. Not even stopping or dropping pace, Link threw it open. Inside…

was a metallic shield. Silver edged, blue on the front and patterned.

Now was no time for admiration, though. Without any other thoughts, Link pulled the tightening plastic on the bungee of his bottomless bag to open it as wide as it would go and stuffed the shield inside. Immediately, it lost its shape and weight as Link tightened the bag back up again.

"Link, run back! We need to get you to a doctor and fast! You need medical attention!" shouted Navi desperately. The Redead had broken Link. He wasn't even able to form words. They just came out all slurred like the gravekeeper.

"I… Let… Go… Village!"

Before he could turn and leave, he heard those noises.

The noises he would have given anything not to hear.

" **Shwee! Shwee! Shwee!** "

" **Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...** "

"No… No… Nooooooo!" cried Navi for Link as a fire glimmered through the dark doorway ahead, as did a rotten leg, then a rotten arm, then a wooden mask. As for Link, he stood firm, his sword and shield at the ready…

his clothes, hair and brain all messed up.

* * *

 **Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!**

Inside his little hut, Dampé took his kettle off the gas fire that he had constructed himself. Humming a little tune to himself, he poured the contents into a chipped mug that he had just run under water.

"It's been ten minutes since that rock hit my door!" grumbled the jumbled man. "I hope everything's OK out there. The weather has been real unpredictable. One moment, it's raining, the next it's raining harder, the next it's all nice and sunny and now it's back to buckets!"

Getting off his dusty bed, Dampé opened up his door to check on the weather.

"Oh, deary me!" he huffed in exclamation.

Not at the unchanged rain and thunder…

but at the person who dragged themselves out of a hole in the ground, covered in wounds with an unconscious fairy in his cupped hands, before passing out himself.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the day:**_

* * *

 _"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'"_


	11. A Hyena On Laughing Gas

Link's eyes flew open, but his vision didn't clear. All he could see was brown blurs. No matter how much he focused, he could not see normally.

Feeling the top of him, he appeared to be covered by a thin, hairy sheet. He could feel his arms, his leg and head were wrapped up smoothly.

Link took a good look at his surroundings. He was inside a rather poky, wooden room. He couldn't remember how he had got out of the Royal Family's Tomb, but he could tell that he was out thanks to the pattering rain. He was in a bit of a cheap bed. The mattress was rather springy and soft. He could feel all the coils of metal underneath him. He was still in all his clothes, but plasters and bandages were firmly strapped onto his sore spots, such as his shoulder, the back of his head and neck.

 **Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

A whistling kettle bought Link's attention to a man standing at a small cooking setup on the other end of the room, his dirty, brown clothes causing him to slightly blend in.

"Hello?" rattled Link hoarsely. Dampé turned to him as soon as he heard Link speaking.

"Ah, so you are awake."

Even though Link still wasn't comfortable with looking at it, his face was just about better than that of a Redead, and Dampé seemed like a pretty nice man. Dampé poured some translucent liquid into a chipped mug and then stepped over to Link. "Are you feeling all right?"

"What happened?" Link could only mumble. He was expecting Navi to join in, but… he couldn't see her. He couldn't feel her flapping around in his hat. "Where's Navi?!"

Link had catapulted up in bed, so Dampé slowly lowered him back down. "Don't worry. Your fairy is right here." Dampé said. despite not knowing who Navi was. "She was in no better shape than you, so I let her recover in here."

Dampé pointed over to the table that was to the side of the bed.

An egg timer? No.

A jug? Probably not.

A diary? Unless she was reading, no.

A bottle with little air holes? Yes.

Navi lay in a little bottle, her wings slowly moving back and forth like a butterfly drying off in the sun. She was dark orange before she started moving, but she returned to her regular blue glow soon after. "Link! You're all right!" she exclaimed, squeezing out of one of the air holes to see her friend. "How are you feeling?"

Link raised himself. Slower, this time. "I'm… OK, but does anyone here remember what happened? Navi? Do you?"

"No. I can't."

"Don't worry, laddie, I'll tell you." Link looked over at Dampé as the physically twisted man walked towards him, sitting down on a stool next to the bed. "Before I went back inside because of the weather," he started, "you asked me where you could find the Hylian Shield and I told you. Minutes later, I went to check if the rain had stopped and then you came crawling out of where the Royal Family's gravestone used to be! You were all battered up and your fairy here was unconscious, so I decided to step in. What did you find down there?"

Link tried to forget about the flaming parrot wannabe and the… you-know-what, but there was no escaping it. To try and get rid of it, he decided to spill the beans. "Well, there was… a swarm of Keese, some really terrifying zombie things, and..."

Refraining from finishing, Link fumbled around for his little bag, loosened up the plastic holder that adjusted the tightness of the bag and dug around on the inside. Dampé was not even surprised when Link felt the mega piece of metal and pulled an entire shield the size of a large tortoise's shell out of it.

Now that he had time to look at and admire the shield, Link could see that it looked absolutely STUNNING.

The back was made of wood, but the front was made of a shiny, blue metal that reflected Link's face back at him. The edges were lined by silver for extra protection. As for decorations, the shield had a ruby carving of a bird that was facing upwards, wings spread at the golden Triforce which was flanked by two curved lines, resembling a pair of snakes.

That was only its looks. The metal felt particularly strong. Flicking it with his knuckle made the sheet of metal make a loud **Dinnnnng!** It could probably survive an explosion if positioned correctly.

No, scratch that! Higher! It could survive having Mido's cooking spilled on it!

"Well, I never!" slurred Dampé as Link took the Deku Shield off of his back to preserve it for a less fiery time.

" _Sorry, Great Deku Tree, but I can't let you catch fire up there._ " thought Link, looking at the shield one more time before he placed it in his bag.

"It looks like you went through a lot to get that! Where were you going again?" splattered Dampé, covering his mouth once again to remove the need for an umbrella.

"I was going to Death Mountain. Apparently, the next special stone for opening up that door in the Temple of Time is up there!" Link tried to tell the truth, but not in a way that made him sound like he was making things up.

"Well, I wish you good luck!" chortled Dampé as Link began to head out the door with Navi, "Well done on finding that shield!"

 **Creeeeeak! Bang!**

"Kids today! Such imagination!"

* * *

The Hylian Shield was way too big for Link to hold on his right arm, as it was about the height of his body and it had a width bigger than him. He had to keep it on his back and just… scrunch himself into a ball so he could block attacks like a tortoise withdrawing into its shell. It was awkward, but he really didn't want to lose the Deku Shield.

Link couldn't believe that such a horrifying place could be concealed behind such a peaceful countryside village! It was so scary that going back to the village was rather jarring. He wanted to tell someone about it so they could get the hole patched up so no other poor kid would fall in. On the other hand, Dampé would likely be the one to cover it up, seeing as he saw Link coming out scratched up like a cat owner's leg.

Now, how did he need to get into Death Mountain?

" _Show that letter to the guard by the metal gate and he should open it for you."_ echoed Impa's words.

" _Show that to the guard at the village."_ joined Zelda's.

" _The letter!"_ Link pressed his side pockets where he had kept the letter so it wouldn't get folded up or covered in grilled Octorok stains. Sure enough, it was in there. All he had to do was walk in the direction of the hulking mountain and, sooner or later, he'd find the guard. The boy wandered in and out of buildings, past a cucco pen, past a windmill and… did anyone else hear music just then? Just me? Never mind, then. Anyway, a short wander to the centre of town and a turn up a flight of stone steps and there he was. The terrain got rocky and mountainous as Link approached a wrought iron gate with a man in armour standing beside it.

Those things are all the rage here, aren't they?

"Excuse me, sir!" asked Link to the man. His eyes were partially hidden under his helmet and he had a small, brown stubble above his upper lip and he was carrying a wooden spear like the guards back at the castle.

"Sorry, sir, but I think you'll find that, on that sign over there, the road is closed! This giant gate should tell you that!" responded the guard with a loud, authoritative voice as he stood up completely straight and tapped his spear against the rocky ground. "Only those with express permission from a very important person may pass beyond this point!"

" _The letter."_ Link gently prodded the letter in his pocket once more, just in case, and then finally presented it. The guard raised an eyebrow, not that Link was able to see it.

"Oh! Well, this is definitely no counterfeit communication! Let me see that!" The guard quickly swiped the letter and within seconds, he had opened the envelope and was carefully reading the contents of it.

"Dear Gawain… yes, that's my name. Of to a good start..." he muttered to himself, "This is Link. He's under my orders to save Hyr-"

Before he could finish, he was hit with the irresistible urge to laugh. He tried holding it in, but his cheeks inflated with air and he started laughing.

Hard.

" **HAAAAAAAAAAH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!** "

The two companions shot each other confused looks as the guard pulled himself together. "What kind of funny game has our princess come up with now?"

"I don't think he believes us." whispered Navi to Link, who just shrugged with a concerned expression.

"All right, all right! You can go past, Mr. Hero!"

Still laughing like a hyena on laughing gas, the guard turned around to a crank that was embedded in the wall to the side of the gate. As he spun it around, gears started to turn and the iron gate slid open sideways.

Not saying another word in case he set the guard off again, Link began the perilous trek of the mountain.

Death Mountain.

* * *

Making sure she wasn't being watched, a traveller marched up the rocky road of Death Mountain.

No Gorons?

No Gorons.

Gently setting up camp using a stick to prop up a long piece of cloth, the traveller sat down. All was in position. She fingered the money in her pocket that she had been given as payment to slow the target down. The plan was simple: Lure him in as a traveller, strike with an additional disguise and then retreat. This should shake off all suspicion of their real motives, right?

Fifteen minutes passed and still no boy in green.

"Have I been sent to the right place?" sighed the lady, eyeing the double-bladed naginata that she had at the back of her tent. At that moment, she heard the twinkling noise of a fairy.

In the distance, walking up the uneven path, was a boy in green, a blue fairy beside him. They both looked rather weary.

"Jackpot!" whispered the traveller, hiding her weapon under the blanket of her shelter. "Now I just need to practice my lines for the ambush!"

* * *

The difference between Hyrule Field and Death Mountain was so great, Link wondered if he had passed into another dimension. The temperature in Hyrule Field? Tolerable. About thirteen degrees Celsius. Here? He felt like his tunic was going to freeze and make him have to walk like a robot until he thawed it out. Hyrule Field? Grass and trees everywhere. It made the air smell nice and fresh. Here? Only red rock and prickly shrubs lined the perilous path. Loose pieces of clay and rock crunched and cracked under Link's boots. His breath grew to the point where he could taste it because of his cold breathlessness. His leg muscles throbbed at the intensity of the hills and several times, he almost tripped over on the uneven elevations.

Link had been marching up the marvellous mountain for fifteen minutes now. Up the way, there had been rock slides, harsh winds and cold temperatures, but all of it was worth it when Link got a good altitude and the rocks parted to make way for Kakariko Village. It looked like a little ant farm. Link could see little black dots moving through the little buildings. Link was impressed.

"Wow..." breathed him and Navi in unison as they edged back from the ledge to look at the village from a different point of view. It was as breathtaking as the atmosphere up there.

"Link, let's take a break here. Let's get our breath back." suggested Navi, turning a relaxed brown colour.

"Sounds like a plan." Link sat down on a rock to catch his breath, unaware that a shelled monster the size of a spider crab sat perched up on a tall rock like a gargoyle, ready to pounce.

…

…

…

 **SPROING!**

With a spring in its step, it flung itself at its prey, fangs bared. Link didn't have the time to react before it slammed him off his rock and onto the floor. It was so fast and silent that Navi took a while to notice and, for about five seconds, she stared at the view, still brown, before she noticed and flashed neon green with shock.

" **AAAAAAARGH! OW!** " Link struggled with the shelled monstrosity pinning him to the floor, its sharp arms stabbing his skin and its one completely red eye staring him down.

" **GOHMA'S BACK FOR REVENGE!** " cried Link as he began thrashing furiously in terror.

"Link, that is NOT Gohma, it's a Tektite! Just… punch it or something! Nothing to worry about!" Navi advised very quickly. Taking her rather silly advice, Link rolled his sleeve back as if he were cocking a gun.

 **CLICK-CLICK, BOOM!**

As Link's closed fist hit the monster clean on, it flew into the air and onto its back. From there, Link drew his sword, raced towards the flailing Tektite, leaped into the air, turned the Kokiri Sword upside down and rammed it right through. Its legs twitched a bit before it finally completely died. Stepping on it so that it wouldn't get stuck on his sword, Link removed his weapon, now covered in black blood.

"That's rank!" muttered Link, frantically searching for a place to clean it. His eyes met with…

another Tektite. This one was blue shelled and quite annoyed at Link killing its comrade. Beside it were two more red Tektites, equally furious. Green acid dripped from their toothed mouths and sizzled against the floor.

With three shrieks, the spiders leaped at the boy, one of them leaping at Navi. With a swift cut, Link chopped one of them in half, where it instantly disintegrated. Crushing the other one with his foot, Link grabbed the one preying on Navi before he spun it around and hurled it in the opposite direction and out of sight.

"Thanks for that!" panted Navi as she turned solid blue in relief. "I thought I was dead for sure!"

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!** "

An earthshaking squeal almost caved in the entire mountain. Link and Navi both jumped out of their skin and looked at where the former had thrown the Tektite. Thrashing as if in a gale was a dirty sheet, held up by a tall stick. It had a hole in it from where Link had pitched the monster into the tent.

" **THERE'S A DEAD SPIDER IN MY TENT!** " bellowed a feminine, furious voice.

"Uh-oh..." hummed Link in dread. Turning red in rage, a woman came marching out of the tent, holding the dead Tektite by the leg between her thumb and her index finger in the same sense of disgust as when a dog owner is forced to pick up after their pooch.

" **YOOOOUUUU! What do you get from throwing spiders at people?** "

"I-i-it was only an accident! I didn't mean-" stammered Link, a careful hand on the Kokiri Sword.

"Oh, of COURSE you did, you little **MONSTER!** "

The woman turned a hand behind her back, pulling out a double naginata.

"Hey, back off! You're scaring him!" demanded Navi as she turned red with anger and flew towards the crazy woman, who had now stopped and braced herself.

" **BEGONE, OPPONENT TO THE GREAT GANONDORF!** "

With a giant puff of smoke and magic, the woman blasted Navi away. Like a goalie, Link dived and caught her as she zipped past. The two stared at the smoke before it dissipated, revealing that the woman had changed into a purple sneaking suit that covered everything but her golden eyes. With no holding back, the woman swung one end of her Naginata straight at Link. He leaped clean out the way, but the other point was waiting for him. Countering it with his sword, Link ducked under another swing, then a kick and a headbutt. Not wanting to kill a human being, Link grabbed her Naginata once it was horizontal before he kicked her to the floor. Looking as intimidating as he could, Link advanced on her, sword pointed at her throat, not that he intended to use it.

"N-not bad, but don't think this ends here!" hissed the woman. She did a kip-up to stand and then hurled a Deku Nut at the floor. In a flash, she disappeared.

* * *

Even though Link hadn't gotten hurt in that fight, he was still pretty shaken. He had no idea that this woman was meant to be there to attack. He thought that he had just angered a random lady and she had gone and tried to kill him. He sat on a rock, breathing frantically for a while as Navi tried to calm him.

"Link, don't worry about her. She was just an enemy in the first place. She had no good in her at all! She… She-"

"- **was an assassin sent by Ganondorf.** "

What?

Link and Navi heard a deep, gravelly voice coming from somewhere, but they saw no-one.

"Did you hear that?" whispered Link to Navi. She turned a puzzled shade of grey.

" **Do you not see me? You are right on top of me!** "

"I can hear you, but I can't see you!" called Link to the voice.

" **Oh, for goodness' sake! Hang on...** "

With a strangled gasp, Link felt the rock beneath him start to move. He clawed to grab at the little, hard growths, but the rock rose into the air and the next thing he knew, he was up on top of a sentient rock.

It was the Goron from the inn back at castle town.

"Where am I?" echoed the Goron as Link stayed silent on top of him, "Where are YOU?"

Finally deciding to drop, Link let go of the thick nails that made up the Goron's back, landing on the floor behind it.

"Are you a Goron?" asked Link, just to confirm. The Goron turned around to face him, almost immediately changing the subject.

"Yes. That woman back there was no ordinary woman. She was an assassin sent here to stop you."

Link tilted his head like an owl. "From doing what?"

The Goron looked at him with his beady eyes. Link noticed that he looked a little guilty, as if wrestling with his conscience over whether something was right or not. "Well… what did you come up here for?"

"I… came to get the Goron Ruby so I can stop Ganondorf reaching the Sacred Realm… Do you know how I can do that?"

The Goron smiled wide. Ear to ear. "That's perfect! Come on, let's walk and talk!"

With that, the Goron placed his hand on Link's shield to get him walking and began to walk along with him across the mountain.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _When one with honeyed words but evil mind p_ _ersuades the mob, great woes befall the state."_


	12. Big Bellied, Bulky Ball Of Blubber

The Goron had lead Link across Death Mountain. On their way, they had to sidle across a thin ledge that challenged hikers, with a steep drop into a ravine. Link was beginning to wish that he had taken this height at night so the darkness would mask the sheer drop onto sharp rocks. The whole time, he had his eyes scrunched up like rejected letters and he made sure to NEVER let go of his handholds.

Of course, he was there for a while because his Goron guide had to tempt him to let go with one hand so he could move along the ledge.

After what seemed like an eternity of walking along a cold mountain, Link breathlessly arrived in…

Goron City.

A civilisation inside Death Mountain, carved out of the mountain. It was lower down than the crater of the volcano, but it was close enough for the lava to insulate everything.

What could possibly be wrong?

" **D** **U** **N** **ARR** **! R** **AUS** **AUS** **DER** **S** **TRA** **ß** **E** **!** "

" **Unsinn! Mein Signal war grün!** "

" **NEIN, MEIN WAR WAS!** "

Alllllll right… I'm just going to put in some earplugs. Will anyone notice? No? OK, good.

The Goron showed Link into the rocky city deep within the mountain and, this isn't saying much, considering that he felt this way about everywhere he had been, but he was very impressed. There were caveman-like paintings on the wall, depicting rather skinny Gorons dancing. There were several roads that stretched out along the outskirts of the city, with white stripes painted in lines along them.

In the middle of a city, however, was a giant, clay pot with the faces of Gorons carved into them. On one side was a happy face. On another was a sad face. Opposite the happy face was a neutral face and the last one was the face your dad makes when you spill crumbs at the table: rage.

"So, this is where you all live..." remarked Link as the Goron lead him into the city. "Everything seems all good to me."

Link stepped into the road to cross it, but as he did, Navi turned neon green before flashing red. "Link, watch out!" cried the fairy, pretty much in his ear. Link turned around and, speeding towards him was another Goron, rolled up into a ball and spinning like a wheel. Yelping, Link dived back as the speed demon hurtled past him.

"Raus aus der Straße, du Trottel!" roared the whirling voice of the Goron as it rocketed into the distance, kicking up a hurricane of dust as it disappeared into the tunnel. The Goron with Link tutted a little, shaking his head.

"That's not how you cross a road!" he mentioned, "You're meant to do so at the crossing just there!"

He motioned for Link to look to the right. Going across the road and to the other side were some thick, white lines and a green piece of wood poking through the hole of a strange mechanism.

"You need to press that button on the pole there!"

Link got up as Navi turned a curious, light shade of green. He approached the pole with the green piece of wood and pressed the rock button embedded in it. As he watched in fascination, the plank moved up quickly through a series of strings, revealing a portion of the wood had been painted amber. That colour lingered in the hole for a few seconds before it shot up again, revealing red. Another Goron, who was rolling across the road at speed, immediately stopped rolling. He skidded across the floor and stopped just shy of the red signal. A gale of dirt and dust showered Link, Navi and their guide, but the Goron with him took a deep breath and blew all of it away in one fell swoop.

"Thank you!" grinned Link as the tree of them crossed over the road to the other side. As for the rolling Goron, he stayed in place and waited for the green slab of wood to show once again.

* * *

Link and the guide Goron had passed through multiple crossings now and every time, Link was eager to press the button and stop the Goron traffic. Every time, he would run ahead to press the button and change the colour of the wood. The Goron smiled the whole way through. On their way to the heart of the city, they passed through caves and they even had to pass over a hot spring via stepping stones. As they got closer to their destination, the problem that had shut the road from Kakariko Village became apparent.

 **Beeeeeyowwwwwwwrrrrr…**

"What was that?" asked Navi, looking around and turning red with danger in case this was a monster.

"Our problem." replied the Goron. "Take a look at them."

Link hadn't noticed them at first since they matched the walls, but when he saw them moving, he notices several Gorons trudging in his direction, each carrying picks. They looked exhausted and hungry, all rock and bone. "Are they all right?" whispered Link to his guide.

"Unfortunately not. We Gorons eat rock, but only a certain kind. Edible rocks, if you will. It's a common misconception that we just eat any kind of rock, but if that were true… we would have no mountain. You should ask our leader for the full story, if he's calmed down."

"Your leader? Who's he?"

"King of the Gorons." replied the Goron, "A strange man showed up here, blocked off access to our food cellar as a threat for the Spiritual Stone and he hasn't eaten for days! Not eating has made him lose his cool and now he's a monarch who's manic!"

"Ganondorf…" hissed Link, remembering the man from the castle. So, the Great Deku Tree was right. He was after the Spiritual Stones himself! "Why didn't you just tell me you needed my help before? Of course I'll help you!"

* * *

"I am sorry, great master, but I could not beat him! He was too strong! He had a metal shield the size of himself! It was like trying to fight a tortoise with a titanium shell!"

A dark-skinned woman with golden eyes, red hair and a double-edged naginata knelt before a shadowed man who was sitting on his spiked throne. Sweat beaded on her forehead as her heart rate increased. She fully expected the death penalty.

" **Perfect.** " purred the leader's deep voice, raising his hand in pleasure. A flush of relief surfed over the sweating woman before him but at the same time, she was a little confused.

"Sorry?"

" **Don't you remember our plan?** " snapped the man, leaning forward in his throne," **That kid is going to do all our dirty work for us. He likely thinks that we plan to take all the Spiritual Stones ourself, but no! He is our puppet! We went through this today! You can't have forgotten already!** "

"Right." replied the women as she dropped her weapon to the floor, "In that case, he's just gone to Goron City. His guard is probably dropped, and he doesn't suspect anything! Do we have any need for that monster you created for the Gorons?"

The man scratched his beard. " **Well, I see no reason not to drop off the big guy at Dodongo's Cavern. If the boy beats it, he'll get the Goron Ruby and he'll do more of our job! If the monster wins… we'll just have to offer to remove the beast in exchange for it. Either way, we'll still have only one more stone to go.** "

"Right then. I'll tell our soldiers to summon him into the Crystal Cave in the cavern."

" **Unleash King Dodongo.** "

* * *

"And we're here!"

Link and his guide Goron had travelled to the town centre of Goron City, which held that four-faced pot from earlier. Still glowing with a grin from pressing the buttons and stopping traffic, Link walked in awe past the pot, looking for the cave that housed the Goron leader. He had been told that he was the only Goron whose cave had a door, and this was because only those who he let in were allowed to see him.

Judging by what his guide had told him about the king's cat fit, it was unlikely that he would want to let in a random kid with a fairy he'd never met before.

Link scanned the sea of starving Gorons and poky homes for the King's cave. It was a terrible sight. Some Gorons were scratching rocks from the walls and eating those, despite clearly hating every single morsel of them. Little baby Gorons were wailing in their fathers arms, complaining about crippling hunger and fear, there was an angry local shouting at him-

" **SIE! Denken Sie, dass dies eine Zeit zum Lächeln ist? Unsere ganze Spezies ist in Gefahr, und Sie tanzen darüber! Bist du ein Unterstützer von Ganondorf? BIST DU?** "

Well, now I'll need to put some pillows over my earplugs. Excuse me a minute!

Link let out a strangled cry and fell down to the floor. This was absolutely terrifying to him. He had never been shouted at with this much intensity before. Not even by Mido. No wonder everyone in the entire city heard him!

Link crawled back along the ground, Navi turning a scared yellow colour as the roaring rock man shuffled closer and closer, screaming more German. Being yelled at was bad enough, but being SCREAMED at by someone in a foreign language was even worse because you can't tell what the person is accusing you of.

Both Link and Navi were petrified into silence with fear from the screaming Goron that the guide he was with had to step in.

"Gib ihm eine Pause, Lenwald. Er ist nur ein Kind." said the guide firmly as he restrained the offending Goron.

The angry one looked like he was about to explode. " **Gib** **IHM** **eine Pause? Wer wird** **MIR** **eine Pause geben?** "

"Er ist nur aufgeregt. Er war noch nie zuvor hier. Er weiß noch nicht viel über unser Problem."

The two then began to staring at each other. The electricity crackled as the two met eyes, their expressions the complete opposite from each other, but the other Goron's angry mug finally fell.

"Es... tut mir Leid. Ich habe nur Hunger, OK?"

With that, the Goron turned and walked away, vanishing into a small cave. A VERY small cave. It was hardly big enough to fit him in it. Link's guide turned and helped him to his feet. "I always thought that the Gorons were gentle." he sighed. "Are you OK?"

Link was still rattled from all the screaming, but he forced his tears back and tried to speak as coherently as possible. "Y-yes. I-I-I'm fine. What was his problem?"

"We're all starving from our lack of food. That young man there hasn't had anything to eat in days, so he is really cranky, like our leader, only better." replied the guide.

" _That guy is better than the leader?"_ thought Link in dread, _"If he was screaming in my face, then what will the leader do? Punch me?"_ "Navi, are you all right?"

Link glanced to his side for any sign of his companion, but she was instead hidden behind him, flashing through neon green with shock, red from a sense of danger and yellow from fright. "I-i-i-i-is he gone yet?" she gibbered, slowly peaking out from behind Link. Like he had done in the Great Deku Tree, the boy cupped her in his hand to calm her down.

"Yes." replied Link, "He was just way too hungry, that's the problem. He's gone back now."

This worked rather well, and Navi turned dark green with composure.

"Thank you. Sorry, I don't really like shouting. I'm a bit of a softy about that."

"Don't worry. I'm the same. I don't like people shouting at me either." Link tried to look at the King Goron's room, but he remembered: He still didn't know where it was. "Pity I have to talk to this King then. I hope he's calmed down a bit. How long has your food cellar been blocked?"

"Weeks and weeks now. We've been surviving off of what we could, but we ran out of food a few days ago. The leader has been MAD. We've actually be afraid of him. Are you sure you'd be able to handle him?"

Link swallowed nervously. If the locals were that cranky, then the boss must have been ballistic! "Where is he then?"

The guide swung his big head towards the back end of the city.

A cave with a door. A large bust of a muscular Goron was carved on the wall above it. Just looking at it made Link's neck hairs stand on end. They were scared as was him and Navi. "Anything else I should know?"

"He locked himself in his room and told us that he will only open the door for a messenger of the Royal Family. The only way you'll get to talk to him is by showing him proof from the outside. Do you have any?"

"I think I get it now! Thank you for all your help! I'll try to appease your King now."

"If you need me, say the King scares you or he hurts you," started the Goron, "just come looking for me. My name is Grindelwald with a W, not a V. I can help you out if you need it."

Oh.

Well, that was reassuring!

Link grimaced as Grindelwald, his guide, disappeared into the rocky sea of malnourished Gorons.

"Well, this is either going to go well or HORRIBLY WRONG..." started Link, fingering the Fairy Ocarina in his pocket, "but that just means that there's a chance!"

With that, Navi perched on his head and relaxed her wings as Link played Zelda's Lullaby.

 **Pheee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeeeeeeeeee… Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-e-e-e-e-eeee-e-e-e…**

His fingers shook and his breath jumped like a dusty record as he realised that he was so nervous that he couldn't play a single note of his song without it stuttering like a nervous man doing a speech in front of hundreds of people.

 **Pheee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeee, phaaaaaa-a-a-a-a-aaaaaaa-aa-a-a-a-aaaaa-aaa…**

In frustration, Link blew down the mouthpiece as hard as he could, producing a very clear shriek.

 **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

"Pull yourself together, Link! Everyone's looking at you!" whispered Navi in Link's ear, turning blushy red with embarrassment. Link rolled his eyes and breathed out.

"Well, I can hear footsteps! I've clearly done something!" protested the boy, sliding his ocarina back into his pocket. He was right. A slow, steady thumping noise was getting closer and closer to the door.

 **Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom…**

Humming in confusion, Navi flew against the door to see if he was correct.

 **BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!**

Before she could react, ten sausage fingers wrapped around the bottom of the door and flung it upwards, kicking up a massive dust storm. His throw was so powerful that it coated the entire bottom layer of the city in dust, as well as made all the Goron villagers flee and hide in their caves. Link and Navi both got punched by the putrid stench of sulphur. It was like a slap in the face with rotten eggs. In fact, it distracted Link from the great, hulking figure before him.

When he finally came to, Link could see that he was a Goron, just like the others. Like the bust, he had sharp facial hair that could probably burst a hot air balloon. He had a giant stomach that could hold at least five watermelons at once. His arms were bigger than Link's entire body, both widthwise and heightwise. He wore tight-fitting, spiked bracelets that could have encircled a construction chute, he had fists that looked capable of punching Link over the moon and back and large, red eyes that…

...were staring straight over him.

" **ZUM DONNERWETTER! WHO DARES MAKE SUCH A RACKET OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE AND THEN RUN AWAY? I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OFF THE SIDE OF DEATH MOUNTAIN FOR THIS!** "

Ow! Now I'm just going to put some ear defenders over the cushions over the earplugs.

This voice was deeper than anyone he'd ever heard before.

-Deeper than the Great Deku Tree.

-Deeper than Gohma.

-Deeper than Ganondorf's voice from Link's dreams.

-Deeper than the girl with black hair that lived near Link.

-Deeper than **any time the text goes bold.**

Link was beginning to get second thoughts on talking to this monstrous, mountainous martinet. He was obviously too short to see because of the size difference, so Link just wanted to lay low and wait until everything blew over.

Turning yellow once more, Navi floated up to eye level with the great Goron. "H-h-hello! My name is Navi and this is Link! Down there!"

Link almost shouted at the top of his lungs at Navi's accidental outing of him. Slowly, the Goron lowered his head to face him. Link felt like a greenfly in the crosshair of a giant bullfrog. Slowly, he moved his own head down to hide his face.

" **Who put a plant outside my door? If one of you is trying to cheer me up, it's not working!** "

Realising the problem, Link raised his head to face the big man. "With respect… sir… I am not a plant. I'm- **YERK!** "

With no warning, the Goron seized Link by the neck and uprooted him so high, he was beginning to mentally question whether falling from that height would hurt over the sound of his choking.

" **YOU! What's a kid doing near the Great King Darunia's throne room? You're not even a Goron! You have no right to be in the city, let alone NEAR MY THRONE ROOM!** " roared the Goron, deliberately pulling Link close so he could scream in his ear. Immediately, his ears started whistling like a referee in a very violent game of football.

"Stop! I- **HCK!** Letter- **GLURK!** Stone- **ACK!** Help!" Link tried to communicate, despite his windpipe pleading Darunia to let it go. As you can see, he could hardly get one word out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" shouted Navi as she turned red and flew into the Goron's face several times. "Stop! Stop doing that otherwise you'll strangle him!"

Reluctantly, Darunia put Link down and let him catch his breath. When he stopped gasping and wheezing, Darunia refrained from picking him up by his neck.

Instead, he did so with the front of his tunic. " **Who are you supposed to be? What are you doing here?** "

Thinking as fast as he could, Link… technically didn't lie, but his throat burned as he spoke. "I'm a messenger from the Royal Family!"

" **What?** "

"You heard him!" blustered Navi, "And that's NOT what I meant when I told you to stop! Put him down!"

Darunia didn't hear the fairy over his own blasting reply. " **Is the king having a laugh?** **I wait for a messenger and he sends some random kid from off the streets in!** "

"Excuse me, we are NOT from the streets!" pouted Navi. If she turned any redder at this point, she would be a red giant.

"In fact, I came to help you with your… eating problem!"

Once again, Darunia dropped Link to the floor in disgust. It was like falling from the height of a door onto solid, stone ground. " **Help? HELP? WE DON'T NEED ANY HELP WITH THIS, THIS IS A GORON PROBLEM! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!** "

"Why are you so riled?" hissed Navi, turning a deep intense yellow from mixing angry red and curious light green.

"' **Why am I so riled'? 'WHY AM I SO RILED?!"** Darunia repeated this at such volume that it gusted the fairy into the giant pot behind. **"Because these** **dastardly Dodongos** **have invaded our eatery and a dark wizard blocked it off with a giant boulder! We have little to no harvest on Bomb Flowers! We have starvation! We have poverty! We have DEATH! WHYELSEWOULDIBESOANGRYALLTHETIME!** **THOSE DODONGOS HAVE MADE EVERYONE SCARED OF ME!** "

Navi came puttering out of the pot, covered in soot from a fire they had burned in there a while ago. "With respect, Mr. Darunia, I think that everyone's more afraid of Dodongos than they are of you." blithered the sprite as she started to hide behind Link once again. She was so scared of the big guy that she was now just adding things onto her sentences without thought.

"Maybe everyone's scared of these Dodongos because they're a dynamic, demonic ball of fire and you're just a big bellied, bulky ball of blubber!" teased Link, who had been so nervous that he didn't even notice what he had said until-

 **CLANG!**

Darunia slapped him to the floor as if he were a horsefly at a bar.

"Seriously, Darunia, if you're so strong, why can't you just beat them all yourself?" asked Navi, trying to speak as soothingly as possible to calm him down. This worked rather well as all the anger vanished from the Goron and was replaced with a more sad, tired look.

"That's a fairly good point..." started Darunia as he began to think, his voice softening, "but the problem with that is… if I were to die in there, there would be NO hope for anyone here. At all. Not one bit. If we were to wait it out, are chances are very small, but not impossible."

Despite what Darunia had done to him, Link felt TERRIBLE. The entire species had pretty much lost all hope. Even though Darunia was absolutely terrifying, Link still felt that he needed to help.

All of them. Even Darunia.

Slowly, he raised his hand into the air. "I… can try."

Darunia eyed him for a second before looking at his raised hand. "You?"

"Yes, me."

All of the negative emotions vanished from Darunia's face and was replaced by…

...deafening laughter.

" **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAA! You? Fight Dodongos? You can't even play an Ocarina right! How can you possibly mash monsters?** "

"I can play an Ocarina!" protested Link as Navi turned a bemused purple, throwing his arms out as the great Goron clutched his sides like a giant airbag, "I was just… nervous! That's all!"

"If that's the case…!" hooted the mad Goron, who was now rolling on the floor as if he were on fire, "play that song that you can sometimes hear when you listen through that entrance up at the roads to the forest!"

" _Up at the roads to the forest?"_ processed Link. There was an exit to the forest in Death Mountain?

"Excuse me a minute. I'm just off to find Grund… Grand… Grond… Whatsisname." announced Link to Darunia, but he was too busy pounding the floor and making miniature earthquakes to hear. Link turned quickly and ran off to find Grindelwald, calling his name all the way…

...forgetting to pronounce the W like a V.

* * *

After minutes of laughing, Darunia finally pieced himself together and wiped a happy tear from his eye. "Well? I'm waiting!" he said, sounding rather amused.

When he looked up, Link had gone. The Goron could faintly see Navi's after-images of light fading into the air.

"I knew he couldn't do it! He just went running off!" guffawed the Goron. Finally, he got up and went back into his room, throwing the door up again.

This time, however, he made sure it didn't shut behind him.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Never judge someone without knowing the whole story. You may think you understand, but you don't."_


	13. One-Winged Hug

…

…

…

Wait, I'm on? Sorry, I couldn't hear my cue with all this stuff on my ears! Anyway...

"Grindelwald!" called Link as he dashed over the road, almost getting hit by a rolling Goron.

"Grindelwald!" hollered Navi at her loudest as she flew as hard as she could to catch up.

They STILL weren't pronouncing the W correctly.

"Where are you?"

"What? Oh, here I am!" Grindelwald stepped out of his cave after hearing his name being mispronounced and thinking they were after someone else. Link slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt, kicking up dust like a Goron in motion.

"I think I've found the ticket to curing Darunia!" said Link, a big grin across his face. The smile was enough to make Grindelwald sport one.

"Did he talk about music from the Forest?" asked the Goron with a knowing look.

"Yes! He was telling Link that if he could play an ocarina, then he could play… that song that you can hear in the forest!" Navi said to Grindelwald, "But… how does Darunia hear music from the forest all the way over here?"

"Well… on usual days he's feeling sad or angry, Darunia will go over to a little tunnel in this city and listen to the music that sometimes comes out of it. That tunnel leads to the Lost Woods. King Brother Darunia doesn't allow us to go in there because we might get root wedging."

"The Lost Woods!" shouted Link as he punched his fist vertically into his open palm in realisation, "I live very close to there! I know it like the back of my hand! In fact, I'm close friends with the girl who plays the music!"

"You are?"

"I am."

"Then… maybe there's a chance." said Grindelwald. He then sighed and shook his head, as if remorseful. "I'm sorry, but I need to ask you for another favour. Only a small one this time, I promise."

Link tilted his head to show he was listening. "Yes, sir?"

"I need you to go through that route to the forest and bring us that girl. Take her to our leader and have her play that song to him. Sorry, but if Darunia won't go to the music, the music will have to go to him."

Grindelwald looked at Link hopefully with his purple, beading eyes. He looked pretty worried that this request would be turned down, but Link didn't even pay attention to that. He hadn't seen Saria, or the forest, in days now and he was looking for any excuse to go back. "I would be happy to. Both of us. We miss the forest, don't we Navi?" smiled Link as he looked up a his partner. Navi gave an affirmative nod.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! Let me show you the way to the forest!" exclaimed Grindelwald. Immediately, he curled up and trundled along across roads, going as slow as he could so Link could keep up.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a deep, dark cave, two Goron children trekked through the **darkness** , one a boy and one a much rarer girl. Pretty reckless of her to put herself in danger, considering that females Gorons were of a 1 in 273.7 chance of being born.

"Brother!" Panted the sister as she struggled to keep up with her barelling brother. "Slow down! There's no one chasing us!"

"And I want to keep it that way!" panted her brother, maintaining his rapid pace. Because the entrance had been blocked off for ransom by an evil, armoured man, no light had reached into the cave. Not one drop of it. This plucky pair was fed up with having burned Hyaloclastite for breakfast, lunch and dinner so for weeks, they had worked on digging a tunnel that they hid behind a tapestry. For those weeks, they kept that tapestry as clean as they could so that their parents wouldn't remove it to clean and discover the dangerous passageway. They did have one incident where they hung it upside down in a panic as their parents came in to collect a salt lick that had been left in there by mistake, but they didn't notice.

Today, they had finished the tunnel and had ended up in Dodongo's Cavern. They NEEDED some quality rocks.

Together, they waded through flowing lava as if it were a stream at the beach. "Sis, which room do we have to avoid? What did it look like again?" asked the brother as he snapped a long stick out of a crack in the wall and lit it on fire using the lava. The end of it burst into life, lighting up the surrounding areas.

The girl Goron turned around and looked at her brother as if he had declared himself a pink and purple cow with the world map of earth on his side. "Have you forgotten already? It has this big rock above it, carved into the shape of a skull. It has lit torches in its eyes. You can't miss it. That room has dangerous monsters in it! Even though some of the rocks in there taste really good, it's just not worth it. We're after the ones in Crystal Cave. They're the best tasting and the most filling."

"But what if there's a monster in there as well?"

Hissing, the girl turned around, baring her teeth. "Don't say that! We're staying positive, remember?"

* * *

"This is the place."

Grindelwald had taken Link across a few roads of the village, though Link had been much less enthusiastic about stopping traffic after that Goron shouted at him. Now, they were standing in a little cave that allegedly went into the forest.

Link could already pick up that scent of the forest. The dew, the plant life, even the animals in there. It was incredibly nostalgic.

And sure enough, Link could hear little notes being played from an ocarina. Calm and relaxed. Just like Saria's personality.

Well, her usual personality anyway.

Saria never showed ANYONE her little discovery in the Lost Woods.

All except for Link. Even then, Link didn't go there with her a lot because he could never remember the way to go. He would always take a wrong turn and end up right back in the village.

Now was no different.

"Right, then..." started Link, taking a deep breath of the forest air to try and remember the peaceful days of innocent playing in the village. "There are a few flaws in your plan. That girl might not be able to leave the forest. I'm still not sure if that is the case, but it might be. Secondly, I still can't quite remember how to get to her. Maybe she's in the village, maybe she's in her secret spot. Still, I'll see what I can do."

Despite the confirmation that his plan wasn't 100% foolproof, Grindelwald smiled at the boy. "Viel Glück, boy."

"Glück?" Despite having made that sound multiple times when Darunia had held him by his neck, Link didn't know what that meant. "Sorry?"

"Good luck."

* * *

Link emerged in the Lost Woods from a deep hole in the ground and the memories hit him like Darunia. The crickets chirping, the birds singing, the thin trees, the sand path and finally, the game he played with the Kokiri in here.

Lost Tag.

It was exactly what it said on the tin. Tag, but in the Lost Woods. It may have seemed simple, but it was so much more fun than in the village!

There were a lot more places to hide in the forest and the fact that you would just end up back in the village if you took a wrong turn would add strategy to the game and it would help you get to know the area. Unfortunately, Link stopped playing as much ever since a Deku Scrub mistook him for a Violent Scrub and sniped him with a Deku Nut. This meant that Link was much more unfamiliar with the Lost Woods than any other Kokiri.

Still, he had to try and find Saria.

Link listened to the ocarina noises in the distance as he watched the wildlife dancing around the trees.

Two squirrels brawled it out in an acorn. A deer proudly marched through the undergrowth, its horns covered in vines and a **FLIPPIN' ENORMOUS** owl perched in a particularly strong tree, a giant branch in its beak, presumably to use as a twig for his nest.

Yes, it was him again.

Kaepora Gaebora.

" **Link.** "

Link smiled again upon seeing the friendly owl looking down at him, even though his size and his unblinking lock-on made it look like he was about to eat him whole like a mouse. "Great timing, mister owl! Have you seen Saria anywhere around here?"

The owl pointed his beak away from Link. " **Sarcasm by another Kokiri made Saria upset. She is in her secret spot in… the Sacred Forest Meadow.** "

" _Rats!"_ thought Link, clenching his fist. That was the easier way off the list. He didn't even need any more information than that to make a sure-fire guess as to who upset his friend. _"Mido, if you ever make her mad ever again, you will hear it from me!"_

Kaepora must have seen the look of frustration on Link because, with a gentle look in his eyes, he dropped his branch with a **CRASH** , flew off his perch, which juddered up and down like a spring-loaded door stopper, and landed next to Link. "Now, now, don't feel discouraged, boy." said the owl, his voice becoming less of a booming baritone. He extended one of his wings and gave Link a one-winged hug, pushing him against his ample plumage. Navi turned a relaxed green. "Remember what I told you about never feeling discouraged, even during the toughest times. Despite the fact that you are unaware of the route, all you really have to do is… listen."

Link stepped back from the gentle giant and furrowed his brow. "Listen?"

"Listen. Do you understand everything I just said?" asked the owl, a look of expectation in his beady eyes.

"No. I mean, yes! I know what to do! I'll just follow the music!" Link didn't understand why, but whenever he talked to this owl, he always tripped over his words. It may have just been the fact that he was talking to a massive owl, but still.

"That's my boy." crooned Kaepora. With a flap of his wings, the great bird departed into the great sky, up and up and away, until he was but a dot in the sky. The second he was gone, Link coughed up a mouthful of brown feathers.

"Sorry about that!" spluttered Link to Navi as she turned a grossed out shade of green.

"Never mind. Let's just follow the music before we forget!"

* * *

Left?

No. As he strayed that way, the music died down dramatically.

North?

Yes. The music became louder and sharper. More triumphant.

Paying close attention to how the music changed when he reached a fork in the road, Link kept walking through the sandy path of the Lost Woods. Sand filled his boots to the point where it wasn't worth taking it off to empty, but they irritated the socks he was wearing underneath.

"Link, we've been going for, like, fifteen minutes!" complained Navi. She had been a breathless grey colour for the last five minutes. Her wings needed a rest. "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

Link looked over at his partner with vexation as she floated up and roosted on his head. "Of course we're going the right way! If we weren't, we'd be back in the village, wouldn't we?"

"Well… you have a point, I suppose, but I still feel like we aren't getting anywhere with this."

"Let's just wait it out. We'll find out soon enough."

Link continued listening to the ocarina as he delved further and further and further until finally, he-

 **Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…**

...Let's try that again. Finally, he-

 **Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…**

Is that one of you?

 **GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…**

OK, whoever that is, can you PLEASE eat something? Your growling gut is putting me off!

 **Shfff… Shfff… Shfff… Shfff…**

Oh! Turns out that was not coming from you, then! Sorry! Instead, it was a furry, quadrupedal creature with a drooling mouth, sharp teeth, grey and black fur and yellow eyes, devoid of pupils.

Link's hair stood on end at the sound of padded footsteps circling him. He nearly swallowed his tongue when he heard the growling intensify and finally, his heart nearly stopped as the predator revealed itself.

"Link! Look out!" cried Navi, rather redundantly as Link could see the monster. she turned yellow in fear once more before flying towards it so Link could focus.

It looked like a normal wolf, save for the blank eyes. Two fangs protruded out of its mouth and sickening saliva came dripping out from the flaps of its lips.

It was a Forest Wolfos.

Link had been taught about Wolfos and all the variations from when he was five. Other than the Forest version, there was:

-The White Wolfos, a dangerous, ice version. Its claws had such a low temperature that it could burn those it cut.

-The Wrathful Wofos, a terrifying, ice variation of red and orange colours. It could ignite its claws when it attacked.

-The Water Wolfos, a capable type of Wolfos that could breath underwater and swim very quickly. They could fire scalding water at opponents from a distance, so they were threatening even from a distance.

-The Cracking Wolfos, a shocking sort that could electrify its claws for paralysing swipes. They also conducted electricity, so metal weapons would backfire.

-The Cursed Wolfos, an undead, slow variation that could take a LOT of hits. Basically, the stone wall of the lot.

Wait, now is no time for lists!

Link took off and dashed down the sandy path, the Wolfos in hot pursuit. Navi stopped locking on and flew high up after Link.

The boy burst out of the bushes and the Lost Woods as Navi puffed after him. "Tell me when you're going to flee next time, please!" she requested in an annoyed tone as Link jumped over a bush, ran up a hill, ran down the hill and used a large stick to pole vault over a mossy wall and into a maze, around the various twists and turns and through a marsh before he ran past a group of Deku Scrubs, who were burrowed into the ground. The leaves on their heads stuck up through the surface.

"Help! There's a monster after me!" shouted Link to the little piles of leaves as he disappeared off around a corner.

"Help us, guards!" cried Navi, coming back around the corner to awaken the Deku Scrubs. Immediately, the two Scrubs rose from the ground to protect him as he ran off.

"Stop right there!" ordered the first as he stood his ground and created a Deku Nut in his mouth. The other one had such a thick accent that his words were incoherent, but he quickly started to attack the Wolfos as it skidded around the corner. The coherent one quickly joined, but the Wolfos shrugged off all the attacks as if it was made of metal. It howled past the two guards, leaving them standing there and unable to interfere as the monster ran around the other corner after its prey, who was now running up the set of steps at the end of the maze. He ran through a tunnel as the Wolfos used the cover of dark to catch up but…

...at the end, he could see light bleeding through the gaps of vines and the sound of an ocarina.

Bursting through the vines and undergrowth, the first thing Link saw was a little campfire. Still holding the long stick he used to vault into the maze, he smashed it down into the blazing sticks to light up the end. With a sickening slash, the Wolfos cut down the vines on his way after Link, but he had its weakness…

Fire.

Upon seeing this, the Wolfos backed up, tail between its legs. Link advanced on the monster, whacking the stick against the ground as a warning. The Wolfos took it and pattered off back down the tunnel, whimpering all the way.

"Well done, Link!" complimented Navi, turning a proud gold colour. Sighing in relief, Link dropped the flaming stick and stamped the flame out before turning around, almost freezing up when he saw Saria. She was sitting on a tree stump by the fire, which was now totalled from Link setting his weapon ablaze to scare the Wolfos, and she seemed pretty shocked. Since the music had now stopped, she was definitely the one making it.

Was she playing the ocarina through a massive megaphone or something?

"Link..." she breathed as Link took a tentative step towards his friend. "You're all right."

One side of Link's face smiled. Navi flew up above him to meet with Saria's green fairy, Suav. "Hey, it's you! Sorry I didn't come out when we were leaving."

Suav turned a forgiving yellow. "Don't worry about it. We both understood." The two fairies began to fly around each other like sparklers on Bonfire Night.

With one massive smile, Saria stood up and gave Link a hug of brobdingnagian force, squeezing the air air out of him like a finished bottle of water. Finally, she stopped, leaving Link a mix of red and purple. "Saria! Good to see you again!" he wheezed, sucking in lungfuls of air to refill them. "This… is only the second time I have seen this place."

"Yes..." said Saria gently. She looked up at the elevated, impressive mansion behind her. It towered above them, teasing them with its fancy windows, which were now covered in moss. The front of the house was made of stone, with brown beams of wood crossing it in all directions. She really wanted to explore it, but she couldn't because the flight of stairs that went up to it had long eroded into nothing. "Even so, I feel that this place will be very important for both of us some day. That's what I think."

"You do?"

"Yes. I talked with the spirits of the forest. They said that this place is more important for you and me than we think." said Saria as she raised her ocarina once more.

"Ah, I see… Wait, you did what?"

"I spoke with the spirits! When I play my song on my ocarina, I can talk with the spirits of the forest and other people who play the song." Saria spoke calmly, as if she were talking about what she had for breakfast that morning. "Would you like to learn it?"

"Is it the one that I heard while coming over here? If so, I actually need that." admitted Link as he too, bought out his ocarina. "Not quite for that reason, but still!"

"Oh?"

Within minutes, Link had bought her up to speed on what was happening. He told her about the stones, he told her about the princess, Ganondorf, Hyrule Field, how he had gone to Goron City to help cheer up the leader and how Grindelwald (He still didn't pronounce the W correctly) had asked him to bring her over so she could play their leader's favourite song and calm him down. Saria was uncomfortable with leaving the forest, so she settled on teaching it to Link.

"All right! Let's give it a try, shall we?" Saria inserted the mouthpiece of her ocarina. Link did the same with his. Both Navi and Suav stayed silent so Saria could teach Link. Have you ever tried learning with several teachers at once? I should know, I have personally assigned TA's in my classes! "Right, we start with an F. Do you know how to play an F?"

"Eh?"

"No, not an A, an F! You place your four left fingers over those notes on the bottom, then you put your right index on this one here. That's an F."

"All right."

"NOW there's an A. Just take your right index off that note and take your ring finger off of the one it's on. That's an A."

"I'm getting it!"

Saria smiled at him. "Yes, you're doing it well so far. Now's a B note. You just need to take your index and little fingers off their notes. That's a B note. Remember to make them linger a little bit."

Link played the notes he had learned so far to see how they would come out.

 **F A B… F A B, F A B, F A B, F A B…**

Link continued with those notes until he could flawlessly perform them without any hesitation or mistakes.

"Just remember, fab! Fabulous! The first few notes are fab!" giggled Saria, preparing for the next set of notes. "So, the next six notes are the same. Fab! You're fab, remember that!"

 **F A B, F A B, F A B…**

"Perfect! The last B in that needs to be a bit quicker to make way for the other seven notes. Don't worry, we've passed through nine so far!"

And so, Saria tutored Link on how to do the final notes. They were actually fairly straightforward. For the seven fast ones, Link could keep his little finger on its note the whole way through, and the notes he did have to move to weren't all that far away.

After countless tries of wrong tempos and notes, Link finally mastered the song.

He replayed it so many times that it's got stuck in my head. I can't get it out!

And he's set my cockatiel off. Stop whistling, Freddy! That's the twenty seventh time in a row you've sung that song!

"Perfect!" applauded Saria. Both Navi and Sauv felt proud of him, turning gold to illustrate this. "Now, close your eyes and focus on your own mind. Do you hear anything?"

Link did as he was told. He stopped focusing on Saria. He stopped focusing on where he was. He stopped focusing on where he was. He stopped focusing on who he was.

All he had was himself and his mind…

…

…

" _Hey!"_ Saria's echoed voice played in his head, almost causing him to cry out and break the spell.

" _Saria?"_ thought Link, trying to communicate back with his own mind. _"Is that you? How are you doing that?"_

" _I told you I can talk with people who play this song!"_

" _What else does this do?"_ asked Link. He fought to stay focused to avoid breaking the spell.

 _"I can see from your general area, I can hear what's going on, I can smell the scents of the place, I can use it to help you out!"_ was Saria's reply.

" _Who on earth made this song and how did they do it?"_

" _I did, silly! I just played it one night before I went to bed and when I was trying to sleep, a spirit started talking to me!"_ explained Saria, _"I was so scared at first, but he told me that this song allows me to talk with spirits. I play it here most often."_

With her approval, Link opened his eyes, as did Saria. "That was insane!" breathed Link as Navi floated over to him, green with curiosity.

"Link, are you all right?" she asked with concern, "You just… stopped moving! I'm fairly sure you'd stopped breathing!"

Link calmed Navi by cupping her in his hand once more. "Stopped breathing? No, I'm pretty sure I was breathing. I can talk with Saria when I play that song!"

"You can?"

"He can." said Saria to Navi. She slowly got up and stepped to Link. "And Link… remember that… with this song, no matter where you are, no matter how far away you are, no matter what situation you are in… I shall always protect you."

After a long pause, Link gave Saria a gentle hug. Navi gave one to Suav as well. "Thank you, Saria. Thank you."

Ready to go back to Goron City to appease Darunia, Link stepped back from Saria. Not wanting to make the same mistake as his last goodbye, he made up for it with a few short sentences.

"Goodbye. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you later, OK?"

Much slower than his last departure, Link turned and walked back down the stairs on the way back to Goron City.

On the way back, he made sure to be very wary of Wolfos.

* * *

It had been another fifteen minute march back through the Lost Woods. Upon getting over to the Sacred Forest Meadow, Link had been clever and drawn arrows into the sandy path that pointed to the way he had just come from. That way, he could easily find his way back. No listening for ocarina noises needed, not that he could use that any more. Finally, he reached the giant hole in the ground that he had to climb up on his way here. That part had been a nightmare getting up! It had dirtied his tunic, he had fallen back down several times, dirt had got in his boots…

...but going down was going to be a lot easier.

"Right, Navi, stay with me, all right?" said Link as Navi flushed yellow from the upcoming slide.

"All right. Just… one thing." replied his companion.

"Yes?"

"Make sure you go slowly. I… I really don't want you hurting yourself!"

Link smiled at Navi, touched. "You. You're a good friend, Navi. Thank you." He turned around, got on his bottom, scooted over to the hole and pushed himself down, holding onto the walls to slow himself down.

 **Whooooooooooosh!**

* * *

Link landed with a crash back at Goron City. Sulphur immediately invaded his nose and lungs. He did NOT miss that smell. However, Grindelwald was waiting for him. "Ach! so you're back!" he said, helping Link up once more. "Did you get that girl?"

Link took his ocarina out of his pocket to show to the Goron. "Well, no..." he faltered, unable to find a way of explaining what happened. Luckily, Navi stepped in for him. She hasn't done that in a while, has she?

"We got the next best thing!" she trilled. "Link learned that song from the forest on his ocarina! Hopefully, it's the right one."

"Great!" the Goron exclaimed, punching the air in triumph. "Now, you must come with me to the chief's room!"

With that, he took Link by the hand and ran across roads, into the town centre and into Darunia's room. The whole time, Link thought his arm would break off. I mean, not really, but still.

Grindelwald ran Link into the chief's open room, stopping on a cowhide rug before Darunia's rock throne. "Brother, we have found the answer to our problems! Right here!"

One of the Gorons that stood guard by Darunia moved behind Link and gave him a slight nudge towards the King Goron.

" **Oh, it's this kid again. What's going on, did I forget to tick "National Leek Day" off my Zeitplan?"** mumbled Darunia. It was clear that he still wasn't fully on board with the idea of having a kid go into the monster infested caverns, though, judging by his sorry eyes, this time it seemed to be for Link's own safety, despite his remark.

Link exhaled deeply and bought out his ocarina. _"Well, this can either go wrong or right…."_ "Mr. Darunia?"

Darunia grunted in recognition and raised his head slightly to look at Link, who placed the spout of the Fairy Ocarina in his mouth and started playing.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _You don't have to have anything in common with people you've known since you were five. With old friends, you've got your whole life in common."_


	14. A Blonde Bond

Link continued playing the song that he had learned from Saria to Darunia. Around and around it went as he struggled to improvise, so he just kept looping. At some point, Navi learned the point it looped and joined in with lyrics.

"Pathways meet,

feel the beat

underneath your feet

As you move along.

We sing our song.

Left or right?

Through the night,

There's no end in sight!

Was I here before? I should know more."

Eventually, Link got the hang of it and began playing a lot more confidently. Navi also started to sing a lot more clearly. Her voice didn't shake as much and within moments, she and Link were having an absolute **BLAST!**

Darunia looked at him, trying to look as confused as he could, eyes twitching, mouth changing from a smile repeatedly, but he had a big soft spot-

Music.

Rather scarily, Darunia leaped into a dance. He pumped his fist into the air immediately.

" **WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!** "

Link almost completely messed up his song because he had closed his eyes while playing, but he just about managed to keep his rhythm as the massive man-mountain launched into a dance. He leaped up into the air and came crashing down, his weight shaking the entire throne room.

" **OOOH, YEAH! DANCE, BOY, DANCE!** "

Stone cups wobbled and clattered to the ground, stalactites came loose from the ceiling, the surrounding Gorons wobbled to keep their balance and Link was very nearly crumpled in a heap on the floor.

" **HOT! WHAT A HOT BEAT!** "

The great Goron began pointing about as if he were in a disco, he pumped his ankle back and forwards with his arm as if he'd hurt his ankle, he even started sliding around as if he were on ice. Seven minutes later, Darunia FINALLY stopped dancing. Out of breath, Link lowered his ocarina, panting from all the playing. Him and Navi exchanged glances.

" **That's the one!** " announced Darunia, proudly smiling at his mad dancing skills, " **That's the song I know and love! The one from the forest! Thank you, kid! I needed that!** **My name is Darunia, big brother to all Gorons! Was there something you wanted to ask me?** "

Darunia bent down to get level with Link as he repeated his motives for coming here, albeit with slightly different wording to cause as least offence as possible. Link predicted that Darunia would loose his cool when he asked for the Spiritual Stone, but instead, pretty much the opposite. " **I can see sincerity in your eyes. You do not seek the Goron Ruby for your own gain, but for more. Unfortunately, I cannot just give a priceless heirloom** **to you. First, it must accept you.** "

"What?" said Navi flatly as she turned grey with confusion, "It's sentient?"

" **No, of course not! I meant that you will need to do us a small favour. Crush all those creepy creatures in our cavern and then we'll talk about th** **e** **stone.** "

"That's what I tried to tell you in the first place!" claimed Link with a cheeky smile. "I'll be happy to do that but… how do I get in? You said it got blocked off."

" **Dodongo's Cavern is just out near Washa's Butte. Look for the big bit of rock sticking up and then look down. You should see this groß boulder in the road against a wall. You'll need to find a way to blow that up. Have you ever heard of… Bomb Flowers?** "

Link remembered that, in his rage, Darunia had last ranted about Bomb Flowers when he was complaining about the lack of them due to the boulder blocking entrance to the cavern. "I can guess what they do, but what do they look like?"

" **Just look for a little black ball with thistles growing on it. Be careful with them though, they WILL blow up on you if you hold them for too long."**

"Will do. I'll be back. See you then."

Just before Link made it out of the throne room, Darunia had a few words of encouragement for Link.

"Oh, and one more thing: Good luck, boy."

Link smiled and nodded at Darunia, as did Navi, turning a shimmering blue and bobbing her body forward and back. Finally, they went out of the throne room and back into Goron City.

* * *

Link and Navi made sure to be careful as they crossed roads. Every time they stopped a rolling Goron with the signals, they would ask if they were Grindelwald.

Guess which letter they pronounced wrong?

Unfortunately, none of the Gorons they stopped were the right one. They just shook their heads and curled up again, ready to roll.

As Link was walking through one of the many tunnels to find the way outside, though, he found someone was calling for him to stop.

"Hey, you! Over there! Child with the green clothes!"

Link stopped immediately and turned around. The voice was feminine, yet a bit deep. Running up behind him were two breathless Gorons, one a male and the other a female, distinguishable by her red lips and long hair.

"We're sorry to bother you," started the male as the two stopped to catch their breath. "Have you seen our children anywhere around here? One is a boy and the other is a girl. They've just gone missing and we've been turning the place upside down looking for them!"

"Well… No. Sorry." replied Link, lowering his head and shaking it. "I've only seen one Goron child around here and he was just a baby."

"What do they look like? What are their names?" Navi asked as she floated out from behind Link's back and gently buzzed in front of the two parents.

"The girl is Mürren and the boy is called Wengen." clarified the mother. "Mürren has bright pink lips and long hair, as a girl Goron can have. Wengen is… a regular Goron boy. I'm afraid most male Gorons look very similar to each other."

"I haven't seen anyone like that around here… Well, other than.. Wengen. He's everywhere."

"We're going to Dodongo's Cavern in a minute so if he found his way in there, we'll look for them there." declared Navi. "That's the most we can do."

"Agreed." added Navi, turning a warm yellow.

The parents looked a little sceptical, but also a bit relieved. "I doubt they'll be in there, but thank you for offering." said the male, curling up before immediately returning to normal. This was how they bowed.

"I hope I find them. I'll try my best."

With that, Link turned and took a left turn out into the light.

* * *

The two young Gorons had ended up back in the main room of Dodongo's Cavern. Now they were standing on a plateau that was elevated above a pit of lava, inspecting the skull of a massive monster that they had deduced to be hiding something in its mouth.

"I've got it!" hissed the male, punching his palm. "That stone tablet! Remember?"

"Wengen, what are you talking about? All that thing said was 'Redden my vision with fire and smoke' or something! How are we meant to use that to our advantage?" His sister groaned and rolled her eyes in frustration. "You have said 'I've got it!' 173 times since we came here! I've been counting!"

"No I haven't!" protested the boy, "I've said it 152 times!"

"How is that helping your case? That's still a lot!"

"Oh. Anyway, I have ACTUALLY got it this time, it's a bomb! We need to find some bombs, or at least Bomb Flowers."

"That could work..." hummed the sister. "But if it backfires, it's your fault!"

"Yeah. Right(!)"

With that over, the two made a jump from the plateau to the right side that hung above the lava to try and find some explosives.

* * *

Link followed Navi along the mountain path, back the way he came, back into the cold weather. Have you ever been outside during the winter in a knee-high tunic with short sleeves? It makes you feel like an ice lolly coated in dry ice!

"Link, I can see it! Over here! Through the tunnel on your right is a giant boulder!"

Link looked to his right towards a gap in the wall that lead through. "Navi? Are you in there?" he shouted through it as if it were a megaphone. As if it was one, his voice amplified from the hole.

"Link, I've found the boulder! It's just off this ledge over here!" Navi's voice bled through the tunnel back at him. "There are these weird things stepping out of the ground. I think this is a Bomb Flower!"

Link briskly followed Navi through the cave on the other side and ended up on a balcony of sorts. Nature's balcony. It was a slab of rock that extended out over a deep crevice. Link recognised this crevice as one he had hiked up on his way to Goron City. As Navi kept saying, a massive boulder sat comfortably in the middle of the hairpin bend. It was clearly not meant to be there. It was just too large and out of place. Link was surprised he didn't notice it when he was ascending the mountain, but maybe that was because he was too busy freezing his face off.

"How on earth can anyone break a boulder like that?" Link asked incredulously as he furrowed his brow and looked down at the gargantuan granite chunk for any signs of weakness. "Where's that Bomb Flower you were talking about?"

"It's here!" Navi flew down to indicate some growths sticking out of the ground. Three of them. They started yellow and were blood red at the tips, like war weapons.

Well, that's reassuring!

"Pick it up by the roots." instructed Navi as Link peered all the way down the cliff at the big boulder. The Bomb Flower was near the edge, so he did not feel comfortable advancing on it to pick it up. "Come on! It's not going to hurt you if you're quick!"

"All right, all right!" groaned Link. His patience running dry, he yanked the Bomb Flower from the ground with ease. Instead of just a few scrawny leaves like he could see, he discovered that there as an entire fruit underneath. It was hidden completely beneath the soil and was completely black. It almost looked like a turnip.

Except turnips didn't throb between red and black or make hissing noises.

 **Hisssssssssssssssss…**

It hissed like a snake on the prowl. Link was so bewildered, so startled that he forgot that if he were to keep holding onto it, this book would probably turn into a Looney Tunes fic without the piano.

"Link, throw it down there! Throw it!" squealed Navi in his ear as she turned red. Her voice snapped Link back to life and, realising he was holding an actual explosive, he yelped and dropped it off the ledge. Not even within a moment of it hitting the ground, a massive explosion shook the mountains. Small rocks broke from the top of cliffs and fell into the path and little pieces of boulder and billows of smoke flew into the air. Somehow, that tiny little Bomb Flower had destroyed the boulder several dozen times bigger than it. The resulting shockwave caused a little earthquake in the ground, destroying several surrounding protrusions, including Link's ledge. The ground crumpled beneath his feet and soon, he found himself separated from Navi and plunging down the side of cliff, bouncing off the walls as if he had too much sugar.

"Link! LINK! LI-" **RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE…**

* * *

"Link, please! Wake up! Please! I beg of you! Wake up!"

Link woke up to these words and a scratching pain on his forehead, some of his arms, his legs and his hands. His tunic had been scratched black in some areas but his body was covered in scratches and grazes. The skin around them had gone white, but there was blood oozing out of a small hole in the middle like a jam doughnut.

First raw beef and now jam doughnuts! I really should stop with these comparisons or I'll put someone off food!

"Thank goodness!" exclaimed Navi fading back from yellow to her usual white and blue and giving him a big hug. Well, the biggest she could manage anyway.

"Navi..." gurgled Link, still rather messed up from the fall, "How long have I been out?"

"Three hours!" answered Navi. "I was starting to get REALLY worried! I wanted to get help, but it would have been dangerous to leave you here with Tektites around!"

Link looked up at the sky for confirmation. It verified her claim, as it was yellow and pink. Off in Kakariko Village, Link could see that some of the house lights had come on.

Luckily, the massive, metal shield had protected his back from most of the fall, as he landed on it and had it take most of the impact. Pity about all the rocks from the broken rock balcony coming down after him.

Stiffly standing, Link looked into the mouth of Dodongo's Cavern. It was breathing hot air in his face, inviting him in, but the red glow at the back of its throat was very worrying. What could possibly have been in there? If it was too much for the Gorons, then how could he possibly do anything?

No. He had said that he was going to rid the cavern of monsters. He had said that to Darunia after bringing him out of his funk. If he turned back, Darunia would just become a volcano in a city in a volcano again.

And no one wanted that, even those who never met him.

Shaking his legs to make them crack and become easier to move, Link stepped into the fiery cavern.

* * *

Now that he had destroyed the boulder that was in the way, light was filling the cavern. If Link had found another way in, he would have been as blind as a bat in an upturned bucket.

Phew, it's just gotten hot in here! I'm going to take off my jumper. Excuse me just a second…

Anyway, the tunnel that Link had gone through to get into Dodongo's Cavern eventually widened into a gigantic chamber that stretched back about fifty meters. There was a large pool of molten lava in the middle of the room which housed a rocky, plateau and, the most stunning feature, a **GINORMOUS** skull of what could only be assumed to be a massive Dodongo of some sort. Its eyes were a dull black and its mouth was clamped shut, even though gravity should have made it hang open. Despite this place being a death trap to a human, especially a child, Link could understand why the Gorons liked their cavern so much.

"Link, it is boiling in here! You need to stay hydrated otherwise you'll get heatstroke! Did you remember to pack any water?" Navi spoke as if they both knew Link didn't have any water with him, but he rooted in his bag and pulled out a wooden flask of water that Saria requested.

"As a matter of fact, I do!" replied Link, his tone of voice acknowledging Navi. "Do you want some?" He prised the lid off the water and tilted it over to Navi.

"So that's what that was..." Navi said quietly. She flew onto the lip of the flask, relaxed her wings and began daintily sipping the water as if she were a butterfly on a flower. When she was done, Link himself took a sip. As little as possible to conserve their limited supply. "I thought that was, like, a musical instrument when I hid in your pouch back there. A shaker or something."

"I suppose… Saria knew. Friends always know."

Link replaced the drinking instrument and he and Navi made their way to the edge of their platform.

The layout of the main room was rather simple. There were three ways into other rooms. One was the way Link had just come from. The other two were on the east and west sides of the room. To get to them, you would have to get onto the plateau in the middle of the pit of lava, but to get to THAT, you would have to make a jump onto these round platforms that rose up and down. It was essentially a risk to get anywhere.

"Let's be careful here." advised Navi, turning a shimmering green with thought. "That may seem obvious but… you may think you're being more careful than you actually are."

"Navi, the trick for getting onto this platform is to jump not when it has reached the peak of its travels, but when it is moving up. That way, you jump on it from above rather than having to jump from an even angle."

Link stood right at the edge and watched the platform leading to the plateau as it descended to its lowest. Just as it began to ascend, he made a jump onto it. Ultimately, the platform levelled with the plateau and Link made a running leap onto it, easily landing.

Getting up, Link looked left and right at his options. Left? Another bit of parkour to a little cliff that lead into the door. Right?

Pretty much the same thing. It was all up to personal preference.

"Right..." mumbled Link. He was about to reach for a rupee to toss, but he remembered that both sides were identical. "How do we decide which way we go?"

Navi shimmered green once again. "Left or right… Left or right…" As she paced the air in thought, she realised Link had gone with the handedness approach and made a run for it left. He didn't even wait for the platform to begin lowering so he could jump on it from above. Instead, as if he were on a timed obstacle course TV show, he jumped onto it as it was at the apex of its ascension and then immediately jumped again…

as it was going down.

He almost fell straight into the Tabasco drink but, with a stifled gasp, he grabbed the ledge and pulled himself up. Navi just about noticed as he disappeared into the tunnel.

"What? Hey, Link! Wait for me!" she squealed, turning neon green and whizzing off after her companion.

* * *

"Link, don't scare me like that! I thought you fell in the lava!"

"I nearly did! Sorry. It's just something about this place that makes you want to go as fast as you possibly can." Link explained. Navi was strobing several colours with stress, which wasn't easy on the eyes. The two were now going down a twisting hall. The walls were made up of cobbles, with giant bones holding up the ceiling.

Where were the Gorons getting all these humongous skeletons?

 **Eek!**

No, there isn't a mouse in your room. You don't have to bring out the mouse traps and cheese, there was something behind Link.

"What was that?" The boy turned around to a little, legless lizard behind him. Green in colour, it would slither on the floor to get around like a snake.

"Link!" whispered Navi discreetly, "Don't touch that! It's explosive!"

"An explosive lizard?" scoffed her partner, rolling his eyes, "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" He looked back to the lizard, who's eyes were slightly narrowed and glowing a ferocious red.

" _Uh-oh."_

Before Link could escape, the lizard, sure enough, exploded in fire, smoke, blood and scales.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!** " The boy skidded backwards, creating a deep furrow in the ground. When he sat up and shook his head to stop the ringing, he looked like he had just stepped out of an alien movie. His entire front was covered with green blood, but his back half was bone dry.

"You all right?" Navi went flying over to Link and brushed a loose scale off his face, "You know, you're just like a fly in a marmalade kitchen! You're always getting stuck in a jam!"

Huffing, Link wiped his face clean of lizard blood. "Oh, ha ha ha(!) **WHY DO THEY EXPLODE?** "

"They have chlorine trifluoride in their system." Navi said this as if it were an everyday thing. "It's so flammable that it doesn't even need a flame to combust."

Link removed his shield and checked it for damage. "If every enemy in here does that, we might be in a bit of trouble."

"I think we'll be fine if you run like a rabbit instead of making conversation with them, you should be all right."

"Enough joking and more moving! We need to find the source of all these monsters!"

"Touché!" agreed Navi. Link looked at her as if she'd declared herself a purple, flying cow.

"Um… what?"

"I was agreeing with you. Let's move on."

* * *

"Fancy some more water?"

"Yeah! My wings are melting!"

Link pulled out his flask once more and let Navi perch on the side so she could drink from it. When she had shown even the slightest sign of having had enough, Link took his turn. Immediately, Navi squeaked and flew off the side. "Hey, careful! You're going to end up drinking ME one of these days!"

"Pretty sure I'd notice in time. I would turn into a torch." replied Link nonchalantly, screwing the top back onto his flask.

"Well, better safe than sorry!"

The two had walked deeper and deeper into the cave with no signs of any monsters. They had gone from lava everywhere to hot, but lavaless caves and now they were in a very humid, damp, green cavern. They were beginning to wonder if this was all a dodge by Darunia to avoid having to break the boulder himself. _"No."_ thought Link, shaking his head adamantly, _"He could have easily broken that boulder by throwing that Bomb Flower. He wouldn't have gotten anywhere if he tricked me into doing it."_

 **ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…**

A deep, growling noise billowed off from around a corner. No, I haven't fallen asleep at my keyboard. This was not even another person, unless they REALLY needed to blow their nose. Was this another Goron?

"Hello-" called Link but Navi zipped in front of him and pressed her hand against his mouth. She shushed him rather loudly.

"That's a fiend, not a friend!" she whispered. "Don't call out to it! Sneak up on it!"

"What is it?" Link lowered his voice to match hers.

"That is a Dodongo. The most dangerous monster that you'll encounter here!"

"Isn't this place called… Dodongo's Cavern? Aren't they meant to be here?"

"No, they invaded!"

"Dodongos invaded Dodongo's Cavern? That's tempting fate for you!"

"Oh, enough wise cracking and more reptile whacking!"

Link had Navi hide in his pouch so she wouldn't accidentally wake the unseen threat and, like a green ninja, like a developing detective, like a blonde Bond, he sneaked around the rocky pillars in the room, following the sounds of snoring.

Finally, Link located the gurgling gargoyle.

A scaled reptile, like a more bulky Komodo dragon, was slouched in a bed of black sand, wheezing away. It had green scales, like the combusting cut-throat from earlier on, but it was a darker shade of green, it had limbs and it was **A LOT BIGGER.** It's jaw sloped, adding to the look of a dragon. Smoke was puffing out of its nostrils in a funky rhythm and it was curled up in its nest.

 **ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…**

"Link, sneak-strike it out of slumberland and into a different kind of slumberland!" whispered Navi as he drew his Kokiri Sword, making sure it didn't scrape on the floor.

"What?"

"Never mind. Just… hit it hard in the tail while you can!"

That sounded like a good idea to Link. Stilling his breath, he held his sword in both hands and approached It from behind. He had to focus on this. If the monster awoke, he was a Dodongo's dinner.

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he lifted his sword up to total its tail, which had shifted slightly and was now moving towards him at speed-

 **CRAAAASH!**

Link shot back against a pillar, Navi turning neon green with the sudden shock and flying to his aid. "Link! Are you OK?"

He was OK, but he was winded and his back hurt from the impact. The only other effects was that his hat and hair was in his eyes. As he pushed them back to retain his vision, he noticed that the Dodongo had opened its black eyes and was sporting a twisted grin.

It had tricked him.

"Link, don't run away this time!" Navi turned her attention-grabbing yellow and targeted the Dodongo just above its blind spot, the top of its head. Its two eyes were on the sides of its head and they couldn't look up too far, so Navi was sure she was safe.

"Don't worry, I won't!"

Link eyed the Dodongo like a prison guard monitoring an inmate making a phone call.

The Dodongo eyed Link as if he were the last doughnut at a policeman's meeting.

With an ear-piercing, cracking cry, Link charged at the beast.

With an earth shattering **ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAR** , the Dodongo stood its ground, waiting for Link to attack.

 **CLANNNNNG!**

Link leaped in the air and tried to split the Dodongo in two like he had done with Gohma, but he had no sword beam for assistance. As a result, all he ended up succeeding was bouncing the Kokiri Sword off its thick hide and sending it boomeranging through the air at tremendous speeds, spinning to the floor with a clatter. Now with no weapon, Link was left awkwardly standing on the monster's head, expecting to have driven the sword through its head.

With a very wide, smug grin, the Dodongo flipped his head up, sending Link flying up with a yelp. It then sat there with its gob open, waiting for gravity to give it a free dinner.

However, Link was not beaten so easily. The monster's throw was so powerful that Link made it all the way up to the natural ceiling, where he grabbed hold of a wooden stick that was jammed within it. The Dodongo didn't give up. It sat there, mouth open as if it were at the dentist, until Link prised the stick free and came plunging down. Holding the stick sideways, he jammed the monster's lower and upper jaws open by placing the stick between them. The monster roared and roared in fury as Link ran to get his sword, taking advantage of his stick-up. By the time Link had retrieved his sword, the monster had closed its purple mouth with the jammer still inside.

 **CRUNCH!**

Link charged at the monster once again as it shot a round fireball out of its mouth. With a crazy vertical dolphin jumping slash, Link cut the fireball clean in two. I don't quite know how that works, but Link sailed over the Dodongo, landed behind it and lopped of its tail with a quick attack. All the Dodongo did was emit a high grunt out of pain, but it died almost immediately. Black blood fired out of the stump like water out of a hose, drenching Link in it and shocking him to a standstill.

"Link, move! This one explodes too!" cried Navi, trying to take his hand as if she was trying to fly him to safety like a superhero. No need. Link had already taken off, getting out of range just as the demonic devil detonated, spreading fire and smoke in a perfect sphere.

Link pulled himself up, pulling little parts of his blackened clothes outwards to look at them. "I look like I just struck oil!" he complained.

Navi turned a hot pink in amusement. "That's not a bad thing, you know. You can really rake in the rupees with that!"

"I doubt we'll strike oil in here. If we did, the place would probably have even more explosions than it already does!"

"That's a good point actually. Lets try and find our way out of this room and into the next!"

* * *

Back in the main room, the two Goron kids who had been there since morning suddenly turned their heads to look at the left tunnel.

"Mürren, did you hear that?" The boy didn't even wait for a response. Already, he took a rolling jump off the plateau, completely missing the platform and landing directly in the tunnel.

"Wengen, stop! Slow down! I heard that! It was a Dodongo exploding! We've been hearing that noise all day! Someone's in here!" Following her brother's lead, the sister leaped to join her brother. Both of them coiled, rolled on the spot to gain momentum and then blasted off down the narrow tunnels, bouncing off the walls like pinballs in a very narrow machine.

There was only one way in or out of that corridor, and the two Gorons were occupying it. Link and Navi were about to meet them.

The question was, at full force or not?

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."_

…

 _Don't actually do that, you'd probably get arrested and I'd probably get sued._


	15. Very Thick Skin

"Here's a door!"

Link had been looking around the humid room to find another way forwards and Navi had just alerted him to a way forward.

This one consisted of a large, metal sheet with a big rock above it, carved into the shape of a skull with horns. Its eyes burned with a raging flame produced by two horizontally placed torches in the eyes.

"How am I meant to open that? I'm not a Goron!" protested Link as he approached the metal door. As if to answer him, it groaned and grunted before whizzing upwards, dislodging dust and debris. Not complaining and seizing his chance, Link ran into the room, coughing from the snowing dust. As he got in, the air heated back up. It felt like running into the path of a massive hair dryer.

Oh, and the door shut behind him, fortifying itself with a row of metal bars.

 **Boom! Clang!**

"Uh! It's a trap!" exclaimed Navi as Link whirled around at the noise. "Link, be on your guard!"

Just in case, Link reached down and touched the Deku Shield in his bag. It was still there. No stray fire nor the pure heat of the cavern had caused it to spontaneously combust. That would have been TERRIBLE! All his food and other items were in that pouch, so if his wooden shield caught fire, so would everything else.

The room was split into six platforms that went around in a circle, a massive boulder in the middle of them. Just below all of this was a pool of lava, bubbling like salted caramel.

"But what reason is there to trap people in here?" asked Navi, who had been yanking on one of the bars as if she thought she could tear them out of the way. She was fast turning red in frustration.

However, with a pair of deafening shrieks, her question was answered. Two humanoid, skinny reptiles, each wielding swanky knives encrusted with jewels and swirly metal, descended from the ceiling, baring their teeth. They were clad in leather armour and wore stone gauntlets as a permanent shield. Immediately, Link pulled the Kokiri Sword back out of its sheath, leaving the hefty Hylian Shield on his back and prepared for another.

"Intrudersssssssss!" hissed one of the monsters, sending its saliva spewing out of its mouth as it drew out the S. As the other one stayed behind to watch, it leaped like a diver into the lava, swimming through it like a fish in water, not even phased at all. As Link kept an eye on it, the monster leaped into the air, spraying molten lava all over the place. Link ducked down and left his metal shell facing up and… it truly was unbreakable. The little drops hissed and fizzled against it, all to no effect. The enemy bought its knife down, but it harmlessly bounced off the Hylian Shield like a ball. "You daaaaaaare messssssss with the Lizalfosssssss? DIE!" screeched the bipedal reptile as Link rolled back out of the way, perfectly absorbing the impact of the blow.

Twirling his sword in his hand like a drumstick, Link jumped straight at the Lizalfos, swinging as hard as he could. The Lizalfos was bigger and stronger than him so, despite him putting all his strength into his attack, the monster pushed him away with ease, curling its free hand into a fist and socking Link in the face with it. He yelped like a dog and stepped back, cradling bleeding nostrils as he began to feel light-headed and numb. Navi flared herself up with a furious red.

" **How dare you?** " Her berserk button pressed all the way down, Navi flew into the Lizalfos at full speed, smashing it clean across the face.

Well, she wanted to think she did that. Being only the size of a firefly, she just… lightly irritated it.

"Pessssssky inssssssect!" hissed the Lizalfos. It curled its middle finger into its thumb to try and flick the sprite out of the way, but it had overlooked one detail.

This was an accidental distraction.

Link stopped pinching his nose and took his opportunity. Deciding to equally return the favour, Link curled his fist and punched the resourceful reptile across the face. Acid flew out and met with his shoulder, but he fought through the pain and threw another pint sized haymaker, throwing the Lizalfos' head in the other direction. He kept this up until its partner in the wings had noticed and started coming running to its aid. At that point, he snatched the sword out of the Lizalfos' clawed hand and slashed it down. Green blood sprayed in a fan shape as the monster screamed before that was drowned out by it toppling back into the lava.

"I'll killlllllllllll you! SSSSSSSSSS!" Enraged, the other Lizalfos bounded over the platforms like a kangaroo, holding his sword out to impale his opponent on it. Now dual wielding a Lizal Knife and a Kokiri Sword, Link first held them in a cross shape to block a possible attack. The lisping lizard bought his blade straight down as Link raised both of his weapons up to block it.

 **SMAAAAAAAAASH!**

Both of the Lizal Knives shattered upon impact, the jagged edges sharpening into deadly points. With lightning fast reactions, Link stabbed the Lizalfos through with the shattered sword. As it gasped and croaked, the monster finally fell back into the lava, an open wound on its stomach. Lizalfos can swim in lava, but if it were to get inside of them, they were done.

* * *

Link sighed in blissful relief and sat on the floor, now having time to tend to his injuries. Navi flew and perched on his head, giving him some room by staying silent.

When the blood stopped coming out of his nose, Link took his tunic and wiped the remains off of his face as if he had just had a three course meal. The areas around his nose were still tingling and numb from being punched, but there were no blade injuries, thank goodness.

"Um… Link?" whispered Navi, keeping her volume to a minimum just in case Link wanted more peace and quiet. Instead, Link looked up to face her.

"What is it, Navi?"

"I've just realised something… How are we going to get out?"

"Well, that's simple. We-" Link began to reply as he looked over at the door.

It was still reinforced with the bars.

"We… We… are trapped. FLIP!"

Navi began to think for a way out. "Maybe there's a switch in this room at opens the door. Do you still have your slingshot?"

"Of course I do. But… where would monsters hide a switch?"

"In the lava?"

Link somehow doubted that he would be able to fire a pellet under the lava to hit a switch, and he DEFINITELY wasn't swimming in there to find out if there was one.

The problem persisted. How would he and Navi escape?

"Hey!"

A young but deep, masculine voice came from outside the locked door, making Link suddenly jump and turn his head. "Who's there?"

"Are you all right in there? Are you hurt?" A female voice joined in. It sounded rather low as well, despite being very clearly feminine.

A flush of relief fell over Link. They may have been trapped, but they weren't completely alone. Someone knew and, if necessary, they could go and get help!

"No, not really. Just a bit… stuck." Link went red with embarrassment as he said this. "The door won't open. I beat all the monsters in here, but the door's not budging!"

"Ah. You fell right into their trap. You either die by monsters or starvation unless someone else comes along. Lucky we're here, right?"

"Just who are you anyway?" Navi hesitated, turning a serious grey and hiding behind Link's back. She's really making a habit of that, isn't she? Suddenly, Link saw a the metal on his side of the door denting towards him along with a colossal **CRAAAAAAAASH!** Within seconds, the bars were starting to bend as well. Finally, an arm smashed straight through the metal door. Link and Navi both flinched and widened their eyes in surprise as another arm began tearing the door in the other direction. It was as if the thing were made of paper. Smashing through the bars at last, the two figures stepped into the room under the blanket of sand and dust sailing around.

"Who are you two?" demanded Navi, "How did you get in here?"

"Calm yourself." With a big breath, the left figure puckered its lips and blew all the dust away, revealing them to be a pair of Gorons, one a male and one a female. "We tunnelled our way in. We were fed up of starving." finished the male one on the left. "I am Wengen. She's Mürren. What's yours?'"

"I'm Link… and this is… Navi. Hmmmmm..."Link wavered a bit on where he had heard those names before, but Navi remembered before him, turning neon green and shouting at the top of her little lungs.

"Hey, wait! Your parents asked us if we'd seen you!" she exclaimed, bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball, "You've got to turn back and go home! Your mother has been throwing a conniption fit!"

Mürren awkwardly scratched her side. "Problem with that: There has been a light earthquake just recently." explained the girl, "It created a rock slide which caved in our tunnel and… dumped a load of rocks all over the main entrance to the cavern."

" **YOU ARE HAVING A LAUGH!** " bellowed Link, stomping on the floor. He ended up stomping far too hard and ended up hurting his foot and hopping up and down like a cat on a hot tin room. Seeing these two Gorons made Link temporarily forget that he wasn't made of rock.

"Don't worry yourself over it." said Wengen. As Link watched in half astonishment, half pain, he bent over the side and began to drink from the bubbling pit of lava just below them. "I went back there a bit ago and I heard thumping from the other side. This is easily removable, so it should take about ten minutes. What we were trying to get at was… We can get our way back out."

Link watched as Wengen gargled the lava in his mouth before swallowing it. "How do we do that?"

"We take on the King." claimed Mürren, pointing out of the ripped up door. Link gave her a confused look.

"The king? Has Darunia gone demented again?"

"No, not that King, King Dodongo!"

At those two words, the whole ground shook with the force of a magnitude 4.5 earthquake. Mürren pinned Link and herself to the ground while Wengen curled up into a rocky ball to steady himself. Lava lapped over the platforms over Wengen and it would have gone all over Link had Mürren not jumped on him like a wolverine.

They were expecting the worst of it to be just the quake, but no. When it subsided, there was eerie silence…

…

…

…

followed by an **EAR SPLITTING ROAR**. It was so loud that it spontaneously put out everyone's hearing and replaced it with a flat ring.

" **YEAH, THAT'S HIM. KING DODONGO.** " shouted Wengen over his ringing ears.

"Thank you, miss… Moorun, was it?" Link pinched his nose, blew out of it and his hearing returned as Mürren helped him up.

"No problem." replied the girl, dusting both herself and him off. "You're no Goron. You can't take the heat of lava. That's the least I can do."

"Right… So, moving on to King Dodongo, how can we make this dynamic, Jurassic, volcanic dino chomp on the dust?" Navi's tone was impatient, but her words were still colourful.

"We've been rooting in the caves on the right. Eventually, we found a treasure chest in a big skull on the floor. It contained a stash of bombs."

"What were those doing in there?" asked Link, bewildered. "If there's bomb flowers in here somewhere, then what need is there for bombs?

"That isn't important." declared Wengen. "What is important is that now we can put a theory of ours to the test. Did you see that giant skull to the north in the main area of the caverns?"

"Yes. I know the one."

"We saw a sign that told us to redden the skull's vision with fire and smoke and then the way forward will show."

Link scrunched his face up, confused. "It's alive?"

"No, it's personification!" Mürren threw her arms up and groaned, "Look, just come with us. Everything else will follow."

* * *

"It's wobbling!" panicked Link, walking in the higher portions of the cavern. He and the two Gorons had spent three hours in the caverns endlessly wondering around the dark caves. For a few minutes, they had stood at the plateau and thrown a few bombs up at the giant skull to try and get a few in its eyes that way, but they realised that they had to preserve their finite supply. From then on, they tried to find elevations for an easier throw and after hours of walking, they had finally made it to a rickety old rope bridge at the top of the main room.

"Link, you're doing just fine. Just keep walking and you'll be fine." Wengen peered at Link over his shoulder, who was uncontrollably looking at the boiling magma bellow. If this old bucket of knots were to fall apart, that would be the end for him, even if he missed the lava.

"He's right, Link. For your first time, you're doing pretty well!" added Navi, turning an encouraging shade of red. "Just keep going."

Finally, Wengen and Mürren had lined themselves up. Each pulling a bomb out of their leather pouches, they aligned them with the eye sockets of the great skeleton. Nodding at each other for a signal, they dropped the explosives. They gracefully plunged through the air in perfect synchrony and vanished into the eyes perfectly, the impact blowing them to smithereens.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Fire erupted out of the little holes in the hulking skull, bleeding smoke into the air. When it all faded…

the eyes had turned a smouldering red.

"Yes!" cried Wengen as Link was still clinging to the supporting ropes for dear life, "We did it!" Only upon the utterance of these words did Link dare to open his eyes. He did not trust this bridge.

And rightly so.

 **Creak…**

Everyone froze when they saw a stake on the other side of the bridge coming lose.

 **Creeeeeeeeeak...**

"Uh-oh. That's probably not good." mumbled Wengen, frozen with fear.

 **Craaaaaaaaaaack! SNAP!**

"EVERYBODY RUN!"

Link broke out of his funk, jumped up and began to run for it with everyone else. Two stakes holding the bridge at the other end came out completely and the bridge began to unravel. "FASTER!" shouted Link as he felt gravity beginning to grab at him. The bridge swung through the air at tremendous speeds. Link held onto the planks of wood so hard that it began to hurt. It hurt even more when he was dragged onto the floor by the falling bridge.

"Is everyone OK?" called Mürren as she sat up and shook her brother awake.

"Everything's all right here..." groaned Link, hauling himself up.

"Thank goodness!" breathed Navi, trying her best not to turn light pink again. "You all had me worried there!"

"Well, take a look at the skull. Our plan worked!" Link said, brushing dust off his tunic. All of them did as they were told.

The skull's once tightly shut mouth had now fallen open.

* * *

 **BOOM… BOOM… BOOM… BOOM… BOOM…**

Link listened to the horrible footsteps beneath him. Whatever King Dodongo was, he wasn't very nimble.

"Right..." muttered Link, preparing to walk into the giant mouth of the skull and into certain combat, "You two should really be going now. If you come with me, you're going to get yourself killed. Please escape if you can."

"Hey, human boy."

The boy turned to Mürren, who was passing him a few bombs. "Take these bombs with you. Once more, it's the least I can do. Maybe you'll need them for the fight ahead."

"Thank you, miss." replied Link, still not able to pronounce her name. He placed the bombs into his pouch for later use. "Tell Darunia that I'm on the last hurdle and I am nearly there, OK?"

"Will do."

With that, Link turned and walked straight into the maw of the mammoth monster skull ahead of him. As he went, the ground got steeper and steeper and steeper. It also got a lot more smooth to the point where it was impossible to stand. Shouting in alarm, Link toppled onto his bottom and began to slide down the throat of the skeleton like a water flume. "Link, hold onto the sides! Slow down!" puffed Navi as she struggled to keep up with him. She didn't have the luxury of sliding down herself.

Link flew out of the oesophagus of the skeleton and landed…

straight into another mouth that had been sucking on the slide exit as if it were a straw in a drink, either knowing someone would come down to confront him or there was a morsel of meat he was trying to get. This gob was organic and, because of this, MUCH more terrifying, despite being smaller.

It was the mouth of the Manic Monarch of the Mountain:

 **KING DODONGO.**

* * *

Link clawed and snatched for something to grab onto. ANYTHING. Be it an incisor, the monster's massive tongue, anything solid would have done. His fingers were covering in burning saliva and were slipping off the monster's titanic tongue. It was like sandpaper, which did stop him instantly falling all the way down, but it raked against his hands and body which would likely cause infections if left untreated. The monster was looking up at the ceiling to make escape as difficult as possible, so Link was forced to let go. He slid to the back of the mouth, almost disappearing down the hatch at the back, but he managed to just about grab King Dodongo's sandbag sized uvula. Now he was at the furthest point back, Link was punched straight in the face by the worst smell he had ever experienced in his life. Stomach acid, dead Keese, melted, molten Gorons and that smell of rotten eggs all rolled into one nasal assault. The mere whiff of it nearly knocked Link out cold, which would have resulted in him being swallowed whole.

"Link, what are you doing in there?" Navi shouted down to her companion, peering through the monster's teeth and turning a sickly green colour with revulsion, "You're not a medicine pill! Climb out!"

"What do you think I'm TRYING to do?" Link pulled himself further and further and further out but as he did, the insides of the monster started to convulse wildly. The entrance to the throat suddenly compressed, squeezing the breath right out of the boy. You know what happens when you're eating and food touches that dangly thing at the back of your mouth?

Yeah, better not think about that too much.

The beast threw its head down and hacked and hacked and hacked before it finally coughed up its dodgy dinner, who skidded across the ground to a halt. He pulled himself up, gripping his hurting arm, and faced the monster before him.

King Dodongo was just like the Dodongo that Link had slain in the cavern, but its scales were golden, it had red ore deposits on its back and it was much, **MUCH BIGGER.** With a name like "King Dodongo", I'm not sure what else I was expecting there. Link wasn't sure which was the bigger threat and which he should make more counters for: The King or the fact that there was a giant pit of boiling magma going in a circle in the middle of the room, leaving him with limited room.

Furious about having been outwitted, King Dodongo narrowed its already small eyes and let out another deafening **ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRR!**

"It's incredible!" exclaimed Navi, "It's King Dodongo!"

"I know! Who else would it be?"

Link shook his body quickly to remove the stringy saliva attached to him before he drew the Kokiri Sword and, screaming, charged straight…

away from his foe. No way that dinky sword would do any kind of damage to a monster of that size. It had a very thick skin. Link could tell just by looking.

Once again, King Dodongo began sucking in hot air in front of him. The insides of his mouth lit up with fire as if it had become one with the flames.

"Link! Your bombs!" cried Navi. She was, once again, strobing colour after colour as she experienced a wide range of emotions. A glimmer of hope lit Link up as the monster charged its energy more and more. Pulling out a bomb, Link struck it against a piece of flint on the ground and lobbed it through the air. Possibly mistaking it for the boy, King Dodongo slammed its jaws shut on the explosive. Link could still hear the fuse going as the monster swallowed the bomb whole with a sickening gulp…

 **KABOOM!**

The bomb detonated as soon as it started to get digested, flinging the monster into the air and onto the floor. Blood ran from its mouth, smoke escaped from its nostrils and its eyes spun in a dead faint.

Now was his chance! Link charged at the downed king and bounced up off upturned side. Flying up into the air, Link twisted his sword upside down and rammed it into the side of King Dodongo's neck.

Unfortunately, its skin was extremely thick, as was mentioned, so all of that would be like you getting a flu jab at the doctors. Link dragged his sword from the beast's hide and fell to safety as the monster hauled itself to its feet, glaring at him with hate. Steam started hissing out of its nostrils as it roared yet again, spewing blood and bad breath all over Link. His little heart going like the clappers, Link watched as the steam coming from its nose slowly turned to smoke.

" _It's going to breathe fire."_ he thought flatly. The realisation hadn't quite hit him yet. _"Fire!"_

"Link, move it! What are you standing around for! Go, go, go! He's going to get you!"

Navi's red anger snapped Link into action, but it was too late. Like an overloading steam train, King Dodongo snorted fire straight at Link. All he could do at this point was turn around, crouch down and hope the Hylian Shield could cover all of him.

No. No it couldn't. It was big, but it didn't cover his front. When the fire hit the shield, it not only heated it up, burning Link's back, but it also went around the sides of it, engulfing Link in flames. He screamed so hard that he nearly deafened himself before the gale finally died down, Link nearly going with it. He couldn't keep the fight up much longer. He had nearly passed out from the pain but he was being kept awake by sheer willpower.

"Link! Are you all right? Please, tell me the truth!" Navi pleaded, turning a deathly red. It was clear what she thought was going to happen, but Link wasn't quite ready to go yet. He ran away from King Dodongo as it spat several fireballs out of its mouth, all of them blackening the wall as he swung around the corner to safety.

"Bomb Flowers!" indicated Navi. She grabbed Link's attention with yellow and began flying around a patch of roots. The same as the one Link had used to open Dodongo's Cavern. "Link, use these!" instructed the girl, "Bomb Flowers seem to be much stronger than regular bombs!"

Link hesitated, but eventually sided with her. After all, that little Bomb Flower he had used to dispatch the boulder had made such a powerful shockwave that it had knocked down his ledge from several meters up. It was worth a shot.

Bending down, Link grabbed all five of the Bomb Flowers and uprooted them, holding them in one hand like a turnip farmer. As the beast ran towards him, roaring all the way, Link spun as if he were throwing a hammer before he let the fruits go. They all crammed down King Dodongo's gullet…

whose eyes widened when it realised that it had just made a huge mistake.

With a volcanic explosion, all of the Bomb Flowers detonated at once. The monster shrieked in agony as all the ore deposits on its back blew up, jetting fire up into the air. Crystals tinkled again and again before the fire eventually started to move on to its facial cavities. Two pillars of flame disintegrated the monster's eyeballs. Another two blasted out of its nostrils. With one last roar, a colossal column shot out of its mouth. King Dodongo's entire body swelled and swelled and swelled as it started to glow red before it finally blew up from the inside.

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

With the monster gone, Link embraced the numbness of exhaust that began to encompass his entire body. He had a splitting headache that made his head feel like it was just going to fall apart. His little heart was still thumping harder than the King's footsteps. It was a chore to keep his eyes open.

Link just hoped someone would find him and carry him back to the city. Not because he didn't feel like escaping himself, he physically could not move any more.

Or stand up.

 **CRUMP!**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _The first virtue in a soldier is endurance of fatigue; courage is only the second virtue."_


	16. Sworn Brothers

It shouldn't have been a tremendous effort, but Link finally opened his eyes. Patterns of pink and green danced before his eyes as he shook his head about. The colours swam to the edges of his sight, allowing him to raise his dizzy head...

much to the excitement of a crowd of Gorons.

" **Er ist wach!** "

" **Er hat es getan!** "

An army of cheers rose up from the rocky rabble. They were so loud that Link thought they'd create another rock slide. Suddenly, Navi turned red and flew out in front of the crowd.

"Everyone, shut up!" screeched the fairy, somehow even louder than the cheering crowd. All of the racket died down almost instantly. "Can't you see he's dazed! He needs some space to breath in!"

One Goron started to advance forwards. He was much bigger than the others, having facial hair, a giant pot belly and, even though he was clearly trying to be as light as he could, he shook the ground as he walked. " **It seems that not all heroes wear capes. Some wear floppy hats.** "

It was Darunia.

Link looked up. He was now propped against the wall of the trail leading up Death Mountain, right outside the cavern and night was in its prime. Despite what was said earlier, Dodongo's Cavern was completely open. In fact, listening closely, Link could hear cheering and crunching coming from inside.

The Gorons suffering from starvation and malnutrition was over.

But Link was still unsure of something. What had gotten rid of the rocks in the way?

"Darunia, how did I get out? There was… a rockslide, wasn't there?" murmured Link. He was starving and hurt from his battle with King Dodongo. He was hardly able to concentrate on where he was or focus on what he was saying. Simply saying those sentences was unbearable.

" **You killed the King of the Dodongos. We heard all of it.** "

Darunia turned his head and scanned the sea of rock heads. " **Komm raus, ihr zwei. Du weißt wer du bist. Mach dir keine Sorgen, du bist nicht in Schwierigkeiten.** "

Link didn't understand what the great Goron was saying, but he had a pretty good idea of what he meant when two Goron children slowly ambled through the crowd. When they broke through the last two Goron walls, Link could see that they were the two Gorons that had helped him through the caverns.

Wengen and Mürren. They gave Darunia an "Are you sure about this?" look, but he nodded his head before speaking more German.

" **Sag ihm, ihr beiden.** "

The two children gave each other looks of concerned anticipations before they crouched down so they were eye level with Link. "Well… we were about to leave you to fight King Dodongo, as you advised, but..." started Wengen. Sweat beaded on his forehead but he immediately wiped it off, worried of erosion. "Don't get mad at us for this, but we heard a REALLY loud roar, so we just HAD to hang around."

"Please don't get angry." Mürren implored, "We just… couldn't move! Have you ever had that feeling before?"

Link smiled at the pair, wiping the worried looks off of them immediately. "Don't worry about it. I get frozen with fear sometimes. You want to run or look away, but you just… can't." assured the boy. Wengen and Mürren both sighed in relief, wiping their brows. "Continue."

"Well… after a few minutes, we heard, and felt, an explosion. This wasn't any explosion, it was so massive that it wiped out all the monsters in the cavern! It set off that… chlorine… thing that the Dodongos had inside of them and they all detonated at once! It even destroyed the rock slide at the entrance to the cavern!"

"What on earth did we do in there?" chirped Navi, turning shocked neon green, "I don't remember any explosions of that size during the fight!"

"I don't know, but we immediately went to check on you and found… blood EVERYWHERE! You and your fairy were just lying in the middle of it! It looked like a crime scene!" claimed Wengen. He was getting more and more animated as he told the story, flailing his arms all over the place and jumping like a pogo stick. "We nearly had a heart attack, but then we realised that King Dodongo was gone! You won!"

" _If the King exploding did all of that, then how did we survive it?"_ Link was very confused, but grateful, about his survival. It was strange enough surviving himself, but a tiny little fairy like Navi as well? Not that he was complaining, of course.

" **Those kid** **s saved your lives. Both of them. You two are very lucky they were here to help… as were they.** **If they had just gone in and done nothing to help, their parents wou** **ld have punished them for sure. They were about to!** "

Wengen and Mürren slowly shook their heads in shame.

" **But now our unwillkürlich fasting is over. We are free to eat the delicious rocks of Dodongo's Cavern until our stomach's burst!** " With that, Darunia turned back the crowd of Gorons, who were anxiously waiting for their big brother's approval. " **Lass uns gehen, alle!** "

All of the Gorons began cheering approval in German. Their combined voices were so loud that Link genuinely thought that it was louder than King Dodongo's raucous roars. Like ants into a jar of jam, all the Gorons began pouring into Dodongo's Cavern, picking rocks up off the ground and stuffing them into their mouths. Only one stayed behind.

Darunia.

* * *

" **So, are you coming to join us… kid? What was your name?** "

Back when Darunia was demented, Link would never have told him his name. Navi had outed him that way, but he had either forgotten or he was too furious to pay any attention to what she was actually telling him at that point. Now that he had shown a nicer side, he was more than happy to remind him.

"My name is Link." introduced the boy. He signalled his fairy friend. "This fairy is Navi. And to answer your question… I can't eat rocks. You know what would happen."

Darunia furrowed his brow. " **Actually, I don't know. What would happen?** "

"You may not realise it, but you Gorons must have tungsten teeth! Me and the other races around have weaker teeth than you. If I were to eat a rock, I would probably break them all."

" **Really?** "

"Really. I hope you can appreciate that I can't join the party. I would love to, but…" Link opened his mouth and pointed to his teeth, which had gone a little bit yellow from the lack of time to clean them. "I value my gnashers."

"Anyway… I need to talk to you, Link." Darunia knelt down to Link's level, just like the two kids had done. "I apologise for my earlier behaviour. I just… wasn't myself. That was all."

"We were well aware of that!" cracked Navi. She was obviously joking around because of her amused pink colour, but Link quickly started shouting over the top of her.

" **WE WERE WELL AWARE OF YOUR PREDICAMENT, THAT'S WHAT WE MEAN!** " shouted the boy, looking at his fairy as if she had just told him to eat a Bomb Flower. "Isn't it, Navi?"

This scared the fairy into zipping her lip without hesitation. "Y-y-yes! Sorry, I got my words mixed up."

Darunia wordlessly accepted Navi's apology by nodding. "I wasn't myself because… a man with a blackened heart of ice had sealed our cave."

"Your friend told us all about him!" said Navi. The colour drained from her just thinking of the cold-hearted killer. "Was his name Ganondorf, by chance?"

"That's the man. Weeks ago, he stormed Death Mountain invaded Goron Village, demanding the Goron Ruby for reasons unknown. And I said **NEIN!** " As he shouted, Darunia swung his fist backwards, almost hitting Navi as if she were a fly. Squeaking, she turned yellow and hid behind Link. "You, on the other hand..."

Gently, Darunia reached down and picked Link up again. Not by his neck, not by his clothes, but by his sides this time. Unlike the other times, Link did not feel like he was going to die from falling, nor did he feel constricted. Instead, he felt like a chicken that had just calmed down after being picked up for a health check. "You risked your life for all of us. For me, for the city and for the mountain… I like you, kid. How about you and I become sworn brothers?"

Link uncertainly looked down at the giant hands holding him up. He didn't want to admit it, since Darunia was probably trying his very best not to hurt him, but he was quickly starting to feel like a chunk of wood in a vice. Instead of telling him, Link gave the Goron a sheepish smile and a rather nervous laugh. "I don't have to… do anything that hurts, do I?"

Darunia's mouth curled up into a bemused frown. "What? Oh, no! I said 'sworn brothers', not 'blood brothers'! No exchanging of blood is needed for this! All I need is..." Darunia paused for a solid five seconds. By paying close attention to him, Link could see that Darunia was trying to hide a knowing smirk.

"What is it? What do you need?"

" **A BIG GORON** **UMARMUNG** **!** "

" _A Goron **what?**_ " Link thought. He wanted to try and work out what an "Umarmung" was but before he could start thinking of a response, Darunia squashed him in a barbarous embrace before dropping him to the floor. Several of his joints loudly popped and, for a horrible moment, Link thought that this was all his bones breaking and that he'd have to be scraped off the floor like a serving of green jelly.

"And now, for the moment you've been waiting for, Link." Darunia looked warily around himself in case of an ambush by Ganondorf or his women, but when he was in the clear, he cupped his hands together and began squishing them about each other. Link looked on in anticipation and excitement before Darunia finally finished his magic trick and…

brought both his fits straight forward at Link, who almost fell over because he thought Darunia would accidentally punch him. "Pick one, Link. Any hand."

"Really?" moaned Link, his smile dropping. "Do we have time for games?"

"Link?" piped Navi. The boy looked up at her. The little fairy turned her thoughtful green colour. "Remember what the Great Deku Tree told you all those years ago?"

Link thought back to when the Great Deku Tree was alive.

This time, however, he realised that he didn't have to fight through gallons of crashing, ocular waves to do so. Instead, he smiled because he remembered everything that was done for him by the tree.

He had shared many valuable lessons with the Kokiri, including famous quotes, general sayings, all of that, but… Link couldn't think of anything that he had said that could possibly be relevant to this situation. Something about… silliness? Playing?

"It was before I met you. The Great Deku Tree told you because you were upset about something. I think it was someone saying that you were going to grow up because you weren't a… It was Mido, wasn't it?"

* * *

On one particularly nasty day, Link had expressed enjoyment at the prospect of staying young forever, but Mido had taken great pleasure in telling Link that, for the last time, he was NOT a Kokiri and would grow up into an adult later on, leading to Link breaking down by himself. Luckily, the Great Deku Tree heard everything. After Mido went away, looking unjustly proud of himself, the Great Deku Tree told him:

"You don't grow old until you stop playing."

* * *

His mind at ease, Link stopped reminiscing. Darunia was right. The Great Deku Tree was right. There was no shame in playing. Not at any age. A warmed smile on his face, Link peered at Darunia's closed hands as the Goron patriarch slowly gave a single nod for encouragement. The boy pointed back and forth between his two choices. To be honest, he was being a little sneaky and trying to spot a red glow through Darunia's fingers.

"What about… this one?" Link settled on the hand on his left, or Darunia's right, if you will. With a grin, Darunia opened his left hand, revealing… nothing. "Oh. Well done, then. What's in the other one?" With an even wider grin, Darunia revealed that there was nothing in his right hand either!

Oh, I get it. It's going to be behind Link's ear, isn't it?

"What?" gasped Navi, turning a questioning grey and closely inspecting Darunia's hands. She then flew under his arm bracelets. "Nothing under here!" she called, flying out the other side.

Oh his back? No.

In his hair? Not a chance.

In amongst the rocks on his back? No, it would stick out like a sore thumb.

"Just… hold out your hands a moment, enough is enough, I suppose." giggled Darunia as he lowered his empty hands down by his sides. Link immediately did as he was told and-

" **PUH!** "

CLANG!

A massive, soggy solid landed in Link's hands with a slithering noise as it landed, the weight almost dragging him to the floor with it.

It looked like a red rupee, welded into a golden V. It was shimmering bright as if it were a liquid in the sun. Maybe that was because of the coat of saliva surrounding it.

" **THAT'S DISGUSTING!** " shouted both Link and Navi, the latter turning a sickening green. Darunia shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry, kid. It was the one place Ganondorf didn't look. Right here, between the old rock crusher ores!" Darunia gave him another smile, pointing to the empty spot which once held the Goron Ruby.

"Did you take out your tooth just to hide the Goron Ruby?" asked Link in astonishment. This question drained all the colour from the great Goron monarch.

"Oh… Well… You see… I didn't… but I can't tell you right now! I'll tell you later, I promise!"

"Promise?"

"Promise." confirmed the patriarch, nodding affirmatively. "Now then, run along! What is your next objective? You'd better get on with that and fast!"

Link was about to respond, but a deafening, childlike shout blasted from Dodongo's cavern.

" **ESSENSSHCHLACHT!** "

"Make that DOUBLE fast! That means Food fight! Us Gorons eat rocks! Do you get it? Run before you get walloped by a rock!"

Link took Darunia's advice immediately. One thing was for sure, he never wanted to see another rock again. Immediately, sounds of rock against rock came clattering out of the cavern as Darunia went running inside to try and break up the brawl while Link went running off down the hill and into the night.

* * *

It was **pitch black** out. The moon was on the other side of the mountain now that Link had crossed over to the other side and no stars were out. It was like trying to find a black cat in a deep cave at night. Even though Link had Navi with him, he could still hardly see anything. Several times, he was barrelling down the mountain at high speed and ended up crashing to the floor because he had gone down a step that he didn't see.

"Link! Be more careful!" groaned Navi as Link tripped over a dip and skidded across the floor for the umpteenth time. "You're going to skin yourself if you keep tripping up like that!"

"I can't help it!" Link clenched his dirty hands in frustration, grabbing the base of a wooden sign to use it as a support. "I've only got one more to go! If Ganondorf gets to it before us, then he'll… set the world on fire or something!" Rubbing his scratched skin, Link found the strength to get back to his feet again and pull himself up using the sign. However, as he groped around the top of it, he felt something.

Something scaly.

"What's this thing?" Link traced his hands around the scales. They were abnormally large and wrinkly. He tried to reach his hand upwards, but it came into contact with something soft and cushioning. "Have I lost the plot from that place?"

" **No, I can assure you that you're just fine. And can you kindly stop plucking my plumage?"**

"I recognise that voice!" Navi cheered as she intensified her light and flew up to the figure perched on top. As her light lit up its face, it was Link's old friend… um… the owl!

"Sorry, sir, I couldn't see you there! Frightfully dark outside, isn't it?" Link nervously laughed at the black shape as he dropped a handful of feathers that he had accidentally grabbed hold of. His eyes began to adjust to it. No mistaking it, it was him. The owl.

" **The blanket that is night affects no owl.** " claimed the wise Magna. **"The amount of rods we have outnumbers our cones, so we see better at night in return for some colour vision.** "

Um… what did he say?

Link and Navi both looked completely overwhelmed by the science. _"What are rods?"_ Link thought, taking a step back. Navi followed him in that department.

" _What are cones?"_

" **Now, your last stone to collect is, thankfully, in a much cooler place than this molten mountain, I'd say. It lies within Zora's Domain.** **A watery cave full of an aquatic species known as the Zora. Their Spiritual Stone lies within the throne room of that safe nirvana. However, the night draws a cold. It is probably time that you leave this altitude and get delivered to safety.** "

With that, the bulky bird of prey released the sign he perched on and flew up, circling to gain speed and leaving Link standing around in the uneven, invisible road. With a little hum of anticipation, Navi slowly flew into Link's item pouch and fastened it shut behind her. Link, none the wiser, stood there and processed what the owl had just said.

" _Right… I saw a Zora in the inn at Castle Town. It's one of those fishy things, right? They have their own… domain? What even is that? I think it's an-"_ "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Once again, Kaepora swooped and snatched him from the ground, carrying him high up into the night sky. For a terrible moment, Link thought he had been attacked at full force from behind and sent flying, but he checked his shoulders and felt the great owl's claws safely around them.

Kaepora was very controlled and considerate to Link throughout their flight. He made sure to keep a tight grip on the boy's shoulders, but not tight enough to cut off circulation. He flew down much lower than he usually would have because Link was not exactly dressed in a parka and a scarf and it was the middle of winter. Finally, he kept up his moral support like last time.

" **Don't worry about flying. You aren't. I am.** "

" **Only one more to go. You are doing very well and the princess should, and would, be proud..** "

" **How have you been doing? Have you made any new friends?** "

* * *

" **Here we are. Sorry, but I must return to the heavens for now.** "

They had made it. Kaepora set Link back down onto a field. Not a word later and he had already shot back up into the air. Almost instantly, he faded away into the shadows.

Link was alone once more.

in Hyrule Field.

at night time.

Do you all remember the dangers of the night in this place? Yeah, those things gave me nightmares when I first played the game, but I digress. They were 100% real and very dangerous.

"Link, where are we?"

Fumbling for his bag, Link loosened the end of it and let Navi out. "Oh!" fumed the fairy as she turned red with anger. "That nitwit owl has left us in the middle of Hyrule Field! He couldn't at least have dropped us off at Kakariko Village?"

"What?" Link frowned as he tried to look at his surroundings, but he could only see blades of grass swinging in the wind a few feet in front of him in a circle from Navi's limited light. He then looked behind him. Sure enough, the owl had completely missed the village and Link was now at the mercy of nothing he could see.

Had the owl intended for this because of a consequence of the future or did he just have terrible sense of direction?

 **Clink…**

"Did you hear that, Link?" Navi circled the area around her partner upon hearing sounds of something scraping against itself. It was hauntingly musical. Almost like a xylophone.

 **Rattle… Clinkle… Clatter…**

Before Link could draw his sword, a wooden club from a skeletal monster instantly knocked him unconscious. His fairy was a lot more challenging as the owner of the club tried to mash her with its club as if it were a grumpy old man with a newspaper being bothered by a fly, but another enemy jumped on her, pinning her to the floor and constricting her with its grip. "Link!" she spluttered in a desperate attempt to wake her friend, but she began to pass out from the vice grip of the Stalchild. They couldn't see it, but a rather tubby man had come marching out of the nearby ranch, rolling up his sleeve and brandishing a fist.

 **WHACK! BIFF! SHATTER! SNAP!**

…

…

…

Silence.

Despite this man's intervention, Link and Navi were still senseless. Nothing he could do about that.

Nothing except try to make the best of a bad situation.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _In a fight, your doubt is a target of enemy's attack."_


	17. Table In The Stable

Lon Lon Ranch.

The ground was hard and frosty because of the temperatures, which made it hard to dig. There was a big, metal shed that housed some cows, a big, round paddock that housed some horses, a frozen dirt track around the outside of said paddock to race horses on, of a specific area designated for cucco coops and a grey brick storage tower at the back. Near the entrance to the ranch were two buildings, separated by a long, thin lawn that lead to the animals.

Malon lived on that ranch. A young girl, around 10, who lived and breathed horses. Every day, she would offer to help out with the horses by herself. She would remove the pesky curls and dried mud that would interfere with their perfect manes, she would fill their troughs with food and water when they were out, she would take them out for walks and then she would go back to the farmhouse and…

find an unconscious body by by the fireplace.

The night had been thunderous, windy and rainy, so Malon, despite loving the horses, was looking forward to getting back inside and looking after herself instead of them. However, this would have to be put on hold for a while. There was often a surprise waiting for her by the fireplace but it was usually a mug of hot chocolate, not a potential new friend!

Shutting the door with great difficulty due to howling winds, she approached the boy beside the warm fire and tried to shake him awake. "Are you all right, mister?"

…

…

…

No response. Only the sound of a ruffling tunic and catathrenia noises.

"Right, so he's alive. That's good." Malon told herself. Slowly, gently, she brushed his blonde hair out of his face before trying once again.

"Hey!" Without any warning, any stirring or anything else, a blue glow lit up into life before zipping out of the boy's sleeve. Malon flinched and yelped at the sudden sprite in her face. "What's going on? Where are we? What happened to Link?" panicked the fairy.

"What are you? Who's Link?" responded Malon. She glanced at the boy beside her, more than a little certain that this was who the fairy was talking about.

"Link is my partner and… he's the one you're shaking about! How long have we been here?"

Malon looked over at Link, who had begun to move around a little in his sleep. "I honestly don't know. I've been working since nine and I have only just come back. He wasn't here when I left and it's midnight now, so..."

A pained groan interrupted her. Both Navi and Malon looked over as Link stirred, shaking his head and cradling a large knock on the back of it. "Navi? What happened? Where am I?" he muttered. The first thing he saw was flowing, red hair wrapped around a girl around his age. She was wearing a white, rough dress with strange, blue patterns ringing around the bottom. She was looking very concerned for him. "Who are you?"

Malon gave him a tender smile. "Malon."

"Melon?"

"No, silly! Malon!" giggled the girl. She sounded like she'd expected that. "Don't worry, I get that a lot!"

"Sorry."

"So, then, do you remember what you came here for?" Malon smiled sweetly at Link, who tried his best to remember so he could explain what he was doing here without her knowledge.

All he remembered was landing in the dead of night in the land of the dead that was Hyrule Field and then getting a splitting headache and slowly passing out, hearing Navi calling for help for a whole ten seconds before… he couldn't remember what happened past that point. "Sorry. I don't know how I got here. I really don't." Link opened his palm for Navi to roost in. "Navi, do you know what's going on?"

"We were… attacked." Navi turned red with tranquil anger. "That owl friend of yours left you right in the middle of Hyrule Field! HE FED US TO THE MONSTERS! Some ally he turned out to be!"

Link was shocked at how quick Navi was to abandon the owl. He himself had his doubts of him but he certainly didn't suspect the specimen to be a traitor. Not at all. "Look, Navi. You are right to be sceptical, but… what if this was just a misunderstanding? What if he didn't know about all the monsters? After all, he is just an owl."

"Owls? I love owls!" trilled Malon. Link stopped talking and immediately faced her, as did Navi. None of them had thought of what Malon would think of their paranormal conversation. "Who is this owl?"

"I'm sorry..." stuttered Navi, turning grey in blank thoughts and edging to Malon, "You wouldn't understand. He's…" She began to hum and groan as she thought of something to say. As a change, Link stepped in for her.

"He drives a horse-drawn chariot!"

"Yeah!" agreed Navi. "His last name is Owl. That's it!"

"Horses!" Malon almost dizzied herself with enthusiasm, she clasped her hands together, hopping up and down with glee. "I love horses! I take care of horses every day!"

"Um… you do?"

"Of course I do! My favourite thing to do here is look at the horses!"

Link and Navi briefly exchanged glances as Malon smiled happily. At that moment, the door was flung open and a soaking, bald man waddled in. With a loud grunt, he slammed the door shut, quietening the howling wind and rain outside. He was dressed in a red shirt and blue, soaked overalls. He also had a big, feathery moustache and a bald head with sideburns. Link wasn't sure whether this guy seemed familiar. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Wait a minute, I know you!" Navi exclaimed. She jolted up and down and began searching her memories for where she remembered this man. Finally, she pinged with realisation. "Holy housefly! It's you! That man who was asleep at the castle!"

"Eh? Me?" replied the man, his bushy eyebrows rising in surprise. "When was this?"

"About a day ago!" Navi answered. She began to spread her wings and rise towards the man. "You were delivering milk to the castle and we found you asleep in the road and-"

Malon interrupted. "Then that must mean… Are you that kid I helped by the moat?"

Link turned back towards Malon. "And… oh, my goodness, it's you!"

The girl was silent for a minute before she extended her hand for Link to shake. "It's… nice to see you again. What is your name? I forgot to ask you last time."

Link smiled genuinely for the first time in what seemed like ages, even though that was only yesterday, and shook her hand. "My name is Link. It's good to see you again and learn who you are. Now, you..." He turned to the man, who was drying himself off. "What is your name?"

"Talon… Talon is my name. I like birds. Mostly, birds of prey. I have a lot living here." Talon then began listing birds he kept in the ranch, raising his sausage fingers as he did so. "A kestrel, a perigrine falcon, a gyrfalcon, a short-toed snake eagle, a Montagu's Harrier, the lot."

Link looked at the room surrounding him. The walls were plastered and a cowhide rug was spread below him. Under that was a dark, wooden floor. Several paintings of animals hung on the walls and a giant stove sat in the corner near a small kitchen with no table. "Sorry, but would you mind explaining where I am? I can't remember this place. I don't think I've been to it."

"This is Lon Lon Ranch. I found you under attack by a bunch of Stalchildren, so I gave them a round of fisticuffs and bought you and your fairy in." Talon explained. He hung a pitchfork up… on the coat rack… before he noticed his mistake and placed it in the umbrella basket. "You must be starving, you two! Would you like something to eat?"

"Oh, yes!" responded Malon, smiling once more before turning to Link. "When did you last eat, fairy boy? You can join us if you want. It's important to eat!"

"Wait." Link stood up suddenly, almost falling straight back over again by light headedness from standing too fast. "Where is all my stuff? I need to continue with my journey. I've got too much at stake here!" he said as he bordered on hyperventilating. All of what could happen if Ganondorf got to the Triforce before him quickly ran him over like a truck.

"What's so important?" asked Talon, reaching into the cutlery draw and pulling out a ladle to twirl on his finger. "Every growing boy needs food!"

"I wish I could stay…" hesitated Link, making a sorry hissing noise through the side of his mouth, "but I really must… go. I need to get something done and it is very important that I must do absolutely perfectly otherwise there will be… bad consequences."

"Well then, wouldn't it be a bit counterproductive to march on an empty stomach?" Malon joined as she gently touched his arm.

Link lowered an eyebrow, a little lost by her idiom.

"How exactly does one march on their stomach? I'm not a snail!"

"Link, you know what she means!" groaned Navi, turning a frustrated orange-y red and prodding Link in the ribs with her elbow. "We should stay here and eat! You're starving, I'm starving, and they're right! If you just go charging in without any food, you'll get yourself killed! Please stay here and eat! For your sake!"

All of them, Navi, Malon and Talon were watching Link, wide eyes, mouths clamped by suspense, and their hands clasped together. They all had good points. Food was important, no matter what. Without it, you wouldn't notice it, but your performance of a task would go straight down. "Oh, all right!" Groaned Link playfully, "I'll stay!"

* * *

The World's End.

What are you all looking at me like that for? No, the end of the world is not coming, that's in my next book!

No, no, no, no! I am not a Flat Earther! Don't you all remember that pub in Kakariko village? The World's End?

Well, there was a late night party going on in there. People caroused wildly, slamming metal containers to the tables and burping alcohol infused breath all over the place. The people who were there to relax… were out of luck.

 **Creeeeeeeeeak…**

The entire party completely stopped once more as a rather strange guest pushed open the log door. Not because they were a child, but because of what they were wearing.

They were wearing brown robes, baggy trousers and brown, Dekudile leather boots. They also wore a skirt that was torn up the middle, giving them an intimidating, savage look. Their face was covered by several pieces of Skulltula bone, which had been fashioned into a skull mask that went over their entire head. Because of the wet weather, their clothes had been dyed an even deeper brown than they already were.

"Has Halloween come late?" cackled the bartender, the freedom of his words taken by his stress of the intimidating visitor. Their face did not change… at least from what could be seen. They just did an unflinching walk to the bar table.

"Cut the wise cracks." droned the guest flatly as they sat down hard on a barstool. They had a dull, feminine voice which, despite its monotonous flow, still managed to make everyone nervous. "I'm here for a bit of… confirmation."

"Sorry, we don't stock it." the bartender replied, backing away and pressing himself against the wall of the tavern, still with his hand and cloth buried inside a dirty glass, "How about a Parched Partridge?"

"No, not a drink!" shouted the armoured traveller as they leaned across the counter half-clenching their gloved, gauntleted fist, which was twitching in frustration. "I need confirmation!"

The bartender had almost merged into the wall from the traveller's leaning. "Um… A-a-about what?"

"The Stone Swiper!" A huge bolt of lightning came crashing outside, making this sound much more threatening than it actually was.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"The Stone Swiper?" echoed an unknown patron from the nearby toilets. He didn't need to go, this person was just terrifying them to the point where they needed to hide somewhere.

"Yes, you know him!" blustered the unruly patron, "The person who was given one spiritual emerald of some kind and now he's apparently got a ruby from the Gorons. Where did he last go? I need to find him immediately. He is in grave danger!"

"Oh, I say! I know who that is!"

The boss of all the carpenters came marching out of the toilets, having been the one hiding in there and, almost genuinely needing to go upon seeing the featureless skull helmet facing him, he slowly sat down on the barstool next to them, adjusting his collar. Sweat beaded from his bald head and got caught in his white moustache. "That boy has been coined 'Hyrule's Hope' by Princess Zelda herself! Pretty blasted impressive!"

The skull-masked adventurer leaned back from the boss a little, not making a sound. Because their face was not visible, this was quite unnerving as no one could tell what they were thinking. Was this just acceptance or did they want to get up and attack? They whispered something under their breath, before clenching their fist, the leather of the glove stretching and straining tightly. "Where did you last see him?"

"W-w-w-w-w-well, I haven't seen him around, but… if he's going to be collecting the last stone, he'll be up near Zora's River, but there are rumours that he was last seen being taken into Lon Lon Ranch and-"

Before the boss had even finished talking, the armoured figure stood up and went marching out of the tavern and into the rain.

"'Hyrule's Hope'? Not if I can help it!" they muttered as they squelched out of the town gates and down the stone steps. "I wasn't lying when I said he was in danger!"

* * *

Link sat around a table in the stable, waiting for Talon and his employee to finish up the food that was being served. Maybe Navi was right. Maybe Talon was right. Maybe food was important. Maybe if he just ran in without any energy, he would get kicked to the kerb.

"Fairy boy?"

Link turned over to Malon, who had risen from her seat and was advancing towards the little pens where horses were kept. Most of them were light brown, but the one Malon was walking to was chestnut-brown. It looked much younger than the others, only a colt or a foal. "This is my very favourite horse here! Meet Epona! Epona, meet fairy boy!"

"Epona?" Slowly, Link got up and approached the horse tentatively while Navi kept back, just in case Epona thought she was a firefly flittering about in her face. "What does that mean?"

Malon raised a hand to her chin and giggled. "Epona was a goddess that supposedly looked after horses, ponies, donkeys and mules!" she answered. "This little one was named after her."

"She's beautiful." crooned Link as he stepped towards the foal to stroke her long nose. She appeared to like it as her lower jaw begun to hang loose. "Hello, there! You like that, don't you?"

"She also loves music. We always sing to her and she loves it! Watch this!"

Link stepped back to give Malon some room as she cleared her throat with an almighty **AHEM** and then began singing.

Her singing voice was one of the best Link had ever heard. He hated to think of it, but it rivalled Saria's and that took some beating. Suddenly, Epona's ears perked up and her eyes widened. As Malon sang a wordless melody, she began bouncing up and down with glee, her hooves shaking the stable with great force. Link almost thought that he was going to fall over. The door to the stables swung open and in came Talon and a thinner employee of his, who ran to the table to put his hot plates down. "Careful, Malon! Stop singing! You're going to bring the house down!" snapped the employee. Turning around, Link noticed that he was wearing a green shirt and pink overalls, was much less rotund than his employee and he had a pointed moustache.

"Oh, Ingo, my singing isn't that bad!" replied Malon, knowing full well that Ingo was talking about Epona's stomping. Ingo's face began to contort in frustration, trying to think of a response. Each of the faces he made looked like a poisonous jellyfish had just swam straight into his mouth.

"Er- I- um- of course not, Malon!" grumbled the man, grinding his shoe into the ground.

"Right, you lot! Dinner is served!" announced Talon, shaking the heat off of his hands as he placed four hot plates down on the table.

A full roast up! Lashings of gravy, roast cucco from Hyrule market, sliced, soft carrots, potatoes and mini sausages wrapped up in bacon. A traditional meal! Link could not believe what he was seeing!

"Tuck in everyone! You all deserve it!"

Link didn't need to be told twice. He was almost slapping himself for even thinking of turning this down. With Malon, he sat at the table, grabbed the pepper shaker and tipped a blizzard of it over his food.

Oh.

Uh-oh!

Ah… Ah… AH...

 **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

* * *

The night had been disturbed by the howling of sneezes from the amount of pepper Link had applied to his nosh. Not that the pepper shaker broke and all of it came out at once, he just loved putting pepper on his food! Now, however, all of his energy had been sapped and the massive plate of food had not helped.

Luckily, through another act of kindness, Malon had suggested that Link and Navi sleep over at the ranch instead of going charging back into the Stalchildren. After all, they were why he had ended up there.

Link was tossing and turning in his hammock, still in every last article of his clothes. I REALLY hope he falls into a clean river at some point because this is going to be doing no favours for my nose!

Anyway, he wasn't agitated because of all the horses snoring next to him. He wasn't agitated because he was having nightmares.

It was because something was wrong.

It was a dark and stormy night. The kind of night no person would be caught dead in. That is, unless they were already dead.

And yet, Link could not help but make out a slight squelch that would pace around the outside of the stable.

…

…

…

 **Squelch**

…

…

…

 **Squelch…**

…

…

…

 **Knock knock!**

Now, there are several things you don't want to hear in the dead of night:

\- A child laughing… when you don't have kids.

\- Your alarm going off because you accidentally set the time for 12:00AM instead of 12:00PM.

\- Your mother coming in to wake you up ten minutes before your alarm is due to go off.

\- Heavy breathing under your bed because your dog came into your room while you were snoozing and went to sleep under there.

\- Team 10 singing on the radio (though, to be fair, that wouldn't really be welcome any time)

\- Smashing sounds coming from downstairs.

\- A guy in the loos screaming "P-P-P-PAPER! PLEASE!"

\- A knock on the door.

Link launched up in his white and blue hammock at the sound of this person knocking on the door. The knock was slightly metallic, despite the door being made of wood. It was as if the hand knocking was gauntleted.

The knocking woke Malon too, but not Navi. Her light didn't come on from inside her punctured bottle. She still lay asleep like a dead bluebottle in an old house. "Who could be knocking at this hour?" moaned the girl, rubbing her eyes.

"Maybe someone is looking for lodging." suggested Link as he straightened his hat. "Maybe Talon locked himself out."

"He does do that a lot." admitted Malon, "but… he went to sleep a long time ago. There's no way it could be him. Still, if it's a guest, it's my duty to let them in."

Malon swung her feet over her hammock, which were sporting gaudy, rainbow socks that went up to her knees, and put them down in her boots.

"Wait." said Link firmly as he followed her lead. Malon turned to him, her eyes thinning from tiredness. "I'll come with you."

And so, the two slowly went to the door of the stables, passing through the cool air produced by a wood bladed contraption that was powered by twisted bands of bungee.

"Stay back." ordered Link as he stepped in front of Malon and bought his voice down to a barely audible whisper. Malon said nothing, but complied.

 **Creeeeeak…**

Link looked out into the darkness at who had knocked on the door.

An unidentifiable traveller, wearing Dekudile boots, large trousers, a skirt with a big split up the front, brown robes and a skull-like helmet almost made the boy scream but, to his credit, he held back his fright rather well. At most, he stuck his left arm out sideways in front of Malon. The figure had clearly stepped back after knocking, because they were standing halfway between the stable and would never have been able to knock from that distance.

"You there!" called the traveller. Malon took an uneasy step back, unsure of whether they were addressing her or Link. "Are you the one they call 'Hyrule's Hope'?"

" _What am I supposed to do now? Answer?"_ thought Link, fearfully gazing at the person at the door. Finally, he mustered the courage to answer them, glancing back at Malon just in case. "Well… the Princess seems to think so."

The visitor gasped at Link's response, despite having been told at the pub, before they lowered their head to the side. "Then it is too late. The parasitic lie is already using the general public as a host."

"Excuse me?" Link's tone deepened and became slightly offended and angry. Was this a monster in disguise or was it an opponent to him?

"So, I shall expose the drones of yours to the falseness in their hearts..."

Link was now ready to defend himself. He reached for his sword…

and almost had a heart attack upon realising that he had no idea where any of his stuff was. It was either stolen or stowed away somewhere on the ranch. Instead of drawing his sword, Link armed himself with his fist.

"...by tearing out YOURS!"

Immediately, the enemy produced a silk chord, forcefully turned Link around to face Malon and wrapped it around his neck. Immediately, Link found himself completely unable to breathe, as he was exhaling when his air supply started to get restricted.

"When the Great Ganondorf rises to power, we will have wiped out all who oppose him and we shall start with you! You can't handle us Gerudo! No one can!" bellowed the beastly bandit, tightening the chord and pushing Link against them harder. Malon screamed and screamed as she tried to run past to alert Talon, but the assassin extended their leg and punted her to the floor of the stable.

She was one of Ganondorf's women.

"Malon, save Navi! Let her get away!" instructed Link as he felt pins and needles creeping into his head. He could hardly speak.

"Save her? Who's going to save you?"

Link tried to run _into_ the rope to try and drag himself out of the situation, but he only succeeded in dragging the masked Gerudo straight into the stable. He ran backwards, backing the woman against a wooden pillar. He tried his best to loosen her death grip, but it wasn't working out. He repeatedly leaned forwards and then smashed backwards into the assassin three or four times before she realised that he could break out this way and drove him to a nearby desk. Link's face went purple and then began bluing from strangulation as he swept a triple-necked candle straight to the floor, then the entire desk as well as a giant cowbell.

The boy reached down and, despite the Gerudo's attempts to stop him reaching it by holding him up, grabbed the bell, smashing the masked enemy over the head with it.

 **BONNNNNNG!**

" **ARGH!** "

The impact was enough to crack the skull mask and loosen the snaking chord's coil grip on him. Link violently leaned forward, jerking the Gerudo over his head and onto the floor.

"My mask..." she growled, standing back up with her mask vertically cracked. Link was about to hit her with the pot again, but she immediately grabbed Malon around the neck and drew a dagger, raising it into the air and gently turning it as if she were picking an imaginary lock. "I dare you. I double dare you. Move a muscle and your girlfriend dies." hissed the ruthless woman, rather emptily. Malon squeaked and gibbered in terror as she scratched and clawed at the Gerudo, who still hadn't shown her face. Finally getting a good position, Malon opened her mouth and sunk her teeth into the Gerudo's glove, producing an almighty **CLANG** and almost breaking her teeth. Nothing was piercing through her gauntlet.

With nothing better to do, Link took a step towards the enemy wielding the cowbell, as her earlier threat did sound rather desperate. Sure enough, she took a step back, bringing the knife closer to Malon's side with every step. Seeing furious fire in Epona's eyes, Link lead the woman in that direction. Right when it looked like the knife couldn't get any closer…

 **CHOMP!**

"OW!"

Epona bit the assassin on her unarmoured back, drawing blood. Howling in pain, she chucked her knife through the air. It shot across the stable, spinning like a shuriken, before it jammed into the wall by a load of stacked farm equipment. Seizing her chance, Malon, holding her limp arm for some reason, ran over to the knife to pick it and give to Link for him to defend himself with but as she reached for it, she noticed that the equipment on display had a rather interesting addition.

A bullwhip.

" _What's this doing here?"_ thought the girl very quickly before she pulled it from its hook, _"Mr. Talon would NEVER whip any of our farm animals!"_ "Link! Catch!"

Using the arm she wasn't holding, Malon pitched the whip over at Link, the fast moving tip nicking his chin and summoning a pool of blood into that area. It was an annoying pain, but not serious. Not knowing how to use it properly, Link turned the tables and began suffocating the Gerudo with the curled up whip. The two fought and struggled for a solid nine seconds, with the assassin landing several punches on Link's face, before she finally broke free and made a run for it. Without really thinking, Link thrashed the whip after her, wrapping it around the Gerudo's armoured neck. The woman was bigger and stronger than Link, so she grabbed the straight part of the whip and tried to yank it out of Link's grasp. She succeeded in doing so, but the handle flew up into the air and jammed in the wooden, spinning contraption near the ceiling. The woman gargled and groaned as the whip pulled her up towards the spinner, getting tighter and tighter with every spin before the whip finally tightened fully. Malon winced and shut her eyes as the fan made a horrible groaning sound.

 **BZZZZZZZZT! ZRRRRRRRRRRR!**

When the two could look again, the Gerudo hung limply from the contraption, which was much slower with the added weight. Like a wing mirror ornament, she swung around inanimately. She shouldn't have thrown stones when she lived in a glass house, it seems.

Malon was traumatised by the horrible sight. Her blue eyes hung open, bloodshot with fear, and she began slowly shuffling to Link. "Mr. fairy boy..." she could only mutter before breaking into quiet sobs. Link just gave her a hug to comfort both of them. Even though she was an assassin, Link was repulsed by his victory.

"What is going on in here?" The door was pushed open by a rather tired and irritated Talon, closely followed by Ingo. "Do you two know when to stop playi- Oh, blimey!" exclaimed the former when he noticed the lifeless assassin, her face still covered by a cracked skull helmet, "Flippin' 'eck! Ingo, get these kids out of here right now!"

Swiftly, Ingo ran behind the children and steered them out of the stable, across the pouring garden and into the farmhouse before sitting them down on the padded seats.

* * *

It seemed that Malon was not completely unharmed as, when Link had Epona bite the Gerudo, she had accidentally cut her as she threw the knife. "Link..." gibbered Malon as Link gently wrapped up the cut on her arm with a bit of bandage from the farmhouse's first aid kit, "You saved my life. Thank you." When Link was done, she gave him another comforting hug. Even with this, Link still felt horrible for her.

"She came in here after me, Malon." Link claimed as he almost broke into tears himself, "I endangered you by being here."

Link shuddered at the thought of any more coming along, but he couldn't just go marching out into the rain and the Stalchildren. He had no such death wish.

Unfortunately, "He had no such death wish" could also be said for staying at this moment.

It was a hard decision, but with tempting from Talon, Link agreed to stay, with a bit of a compromise.

And so, Ingo set off into the rain, armed with a sword and a shield for the Stalchildren, to hire a soldier to guard the ranch for the night.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _A horse gallops with his lungs, Perseveres with his heart, And wins with his character."_


	18. A Message In A Bottle

It had been a sleepless night after the fight. Talon and Ingo, bless them, had done everything they could to make sure Link and Malon were safe by going and alerting a soldier of Castle Town, who agreed to guard the ranch for the night. The one found went by the name of Zabal Zinzendorff and he was very nice. Upon seeing the spinning remains of the assassin on the elastically powered fan, he was very calm and the most he did was gently question both Link and Malon about what happened. A few truthful answers later and the soldier had written everything down.

* * *

 _Suspect was allegedly sent to kill person of interest #1._

 _Suspect: Gerudo woman_

 _According to person of interest #2, suspect attempted to suffocate person of interest #1 with a chord before threatening person of interest #2 with a knife._

 _Injuries of POI #1: Swollen neck from chord, candle burns, bruised occipital region (unrelated), cut from bullwhip being passed to them. All treated by ranch owners with an ice pack, cold water, a bandage and a plaster, respectively._

 _Injuries of POI #2: Cut on arm from knife, kick to front, minor tooth injuries from biting gauntlet. all treated by POI #1 with a bandage and a cold, wet cloth between teeth, respectively._

 _Cause of suspect death: Whip caught around suspect's neck, handle of said whip caught in ceiling fan, hanging suspect. Completely Unintentional. Self defence._

* * *

Finally, Zabal had removed the haunting sight from the fan and safely disposed of it. "Right. So, it's unanimous. You are perfectly innocent, Link. You too, Malon." the soldier told the two kids gently as he crouched down to them to make himself level. "Still, it is unsafe to spend the rest of the night on your own. The owners of this ranch have hired me to guard the stable from the outside, so you try and get whatever sleep you can from this. Don't worry, I shall be outside to guard you."

Even with these words, Link and Malon hardly got a wink of sleep as the guard clanked around outside the stable, braving the wind and rain. The only sleep they got was for about an hour before the crowing cucco woke them up.

 **CAWK-A, CAWK-A, CAWK-A DOODLE DOOOOOO!**

* * *

The next day dawned bright and sunny as if Nayru was trying to cover up the events of last night. Bags under their eyes, Link and Malon awoke, as did Navi.

She had slept through the entire cacophony of crashes.

"Morning, Link! Hello, Malon!" trilled Navi, lighting to life and escaping her bottle through an air hole. "Wait, what did you do to your arm, Malon? Link, why is your neck red?"

 _"_ You don't want to know, Navi." replied Link. The mention of his red neck made it start hurting again, so he rubbed it for relief.

"Link, I care about you. I want to know what happened. Tell me. Please."

Link looked over at the fairy, then at Malon before he finally sighed and shook his head. "Navi… come with us. We'll tell you outside, all right? It's not going to be easy, but-"

* * *

Link and Malon had taken his items from the storage tower at the back of the ranch on Talon's instructions, replaced the Hylian Shield with the Deku Shield so he could actually use his shield properly and then guided Malon and Navi to the fence that separated Lon Lon Ranch from Hyrule Field and the former had told the pixie everything. How a Gerudo Assassin showed up at their room to kill him and how he had accidentally killed her by turning her into a fan ornament. Navi was yellow throughout the story but at the end, she turned neon green and then a soft, sympathetic cream colour.

"So, Ganondorf really is after you. Well and truly." Said Navi, not helping Link's nerves at all. "In that case, we must collect the last Spiritual Stone as fast as we can so we can… do the thing!"

As Navi spoke, Link saw a familiar shadow gliding through the air like a light plane. As he squinted into the sun to get a closer view, he cringed lightly as the silhouette flew towards him, cawing loudly as he whistled through the air. Why did he cringe? He was expecting a full-on eruption from his little friend.

With a massive gust of wind, Kaepora Gaebora perched on the wooden fence, which didn't bring the whole thing down by some miracle, with a face that looked like it full-on expected a pint-sized explosion.

Malon was gobsmacked at the sight of the majestic jumbo. Not in a bad way, she was smiling. She looked speechless in a way that you might be if you just walked into a massive surprise birthday when you thought everyone had forgotten.

On the minus side, Link was absolutely right about a potential tiny tantrum.

"YOU!" shouted Navi, turning red and flying straight up in the owl's face. "You dumped us off in Hyrule Field IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT and almost got us killed by monsters! Did you know about all of those beasties?"

"Navi, calm down." Link ran after his friend, following her blood red glow as he ran to Kaepora "Remember what I said."

The great owl shook his head, shutting his eyes as he did. " **You have every right to be angry, young Navi,** " he started. This somehow calmed Navi into civility. " **but it was fate that** **you come to this ranch and meet with an animal there. My** **superior** **told me to make sure you get here, and you have, while also fulfilling your task of meeting that animal. Now, one more Spiritual Stone** **remains. The Zora'** **s** **Sapphire. It resides up Zora's River.** "

"All right..." hesitated Navi as her normal colour returned, "but how can we trust you?"

Suddenly and with the sound of joints popping, the mighty owl twisted his entire head upside down, almost causing Link to faint from nausea, especially since the two dots on his chin were now where his eyes would be, resulting in it looking like he had beady, black Goron eyes with crazy, swirling eyebrows. " **Well, don't get things upside down, fairy!** **If you hadn't come here, you would have gone on with no food to keep you going, and we** **wouldn** **'t want that,** **would** **we?** "

Slightly disturbed by the contortionist, Navi simply paused for a long time before nodding her body. "You're right. Maybe it was wise to stop here, but you could have just dropped us off here in the first place instead of giving Link a headache!"

" **I apologise,** " said Kaepora fairly as he righted his head and shrugged his wings, " **but your duty calls! I shall take you to Zora's Domain!** "

With a flourish, the great owl pushed himself off the fence into the air, leaving Malon starstruck. "My dad is going to be like a dog with two tails! A giant owl! It's his dream come true!" she squealed in delight.

Link stole a glance at the big bird as it began spinning in the air to pick up speed. Any moment now, he was going to be whisked from the ranch and he knew it. "Um… Malon?" said Link quietly. The girl turned to him with a wide smile. "I'm going to need to skedaddle now. It was nice meeting you all, but… I must continue my journey. Thank you for everything, Malon. I mean it."

Malon's face fell, making Link's heart follow suit. "Really? But I was just beginning to feel better!"

"Don't worry, I'll come back some day. Other than that barmy bandit, I really enjoyed your ranch."

"Please don't mention that. And please come back! Definitely come back, OK?"

"Yes, I will. That's a-"

Before Link could finish, Kaepora swept Link up once more, straight off the fence. Navi had forgotten to get into Link's bag, so she was left awkwardly floating by Malon before she processed what happened to Link and took off after the bird of prey. "Hey!" she called. "Wait for me!"

* * *

Kaepora leisurely glided over Hyrule Field and off to the left. Off to the left to Zora's River.

" **You appear to be really attracting the ladies!** " commented the owl from above Link, his feathers ruffling and puffing up for warmth in the wind. " **First Saria, then Zelda and now that ranch girl!** "

Link blushed red immediately. "All right, enough!" To take his mind off of Kaepora's comment, Link looked down at the stretching stream below him. Weeds tangled up at the bottom and banks lined the river as Kaepora flew Link up through twisting rock spires and towards a massive waterfall. Water bellowed down the cliff, shimmering in the golden sunlight.

" **Link, this is Zora's Domain.** " declared the big owl, hovering in front of the waterfall. Squinting, Link could make out a square hole in the rock wall behind the tumbling water past a vivid rainbow. Past that, he could hear sounds of excited screaming and splashing. No doubt about it, Zora's Domain was in there. " **This is the sleepless waterfall.** **The flow of this waterfall serves the King of Hyrule. When the King slumbers, the falls do as well.** "

Link looked up at his carrier with confusion. "What? So you're telling me I had to come over here at night?"

Kaepora Gaebora rolled his eyes and tutted. " **Have you forgotten about your instrument? The precious memento your friend gave you in the forest?** "

Surprised by Kaepora's stern tone and slightly disappointed with himself for forgetting, Link reached into his bag and pulled out the Fairy Ocarina. " **Better.** " said the owl as Link placed the instrument to his lips. Taking a calm and collected breath, Link played Zelda's Lullaby for what could have been the very last time. During this, Navi came spluttering over, a tired yellow colour. However, upon hearing Link's ocarina, the yellow went mellow and she relaxed her wings, landing on Kaepora's head. As Link lost himself in his song, there was a loud gargle from the waterfall. The boy abruptly stopped playing in surprise as the waterfall slurped and rippled before parting like a curtain, exposing the entrance to Zora's Domain in the cliff. It was pretty simple. Moss grew on the side and the rock was pretty uneven. Nevertheless, this was definitely the place.

" **Link, I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you now.** " said Kaepora Gaebora. Link was not surprised, as the owl was quite hefty and could not fit in the hole. Plus, this was Link's journey, not the owl's. All Link did was give the owl an understanding smile. " **Now, when you get in there, tell the King Zora that you are a Hylian messenger and that you are there because the Princess plans on using the Spiritual Stone of Water to open the Door of Time. Be truthful.** "

"I've got it!" said Link with a nod.

" **All right! Good luck, Link, and may Din, Nayru and Farore be with you!** "

With that the mammoth Magna reeled Link back as far as he could before lobbing him through the opening of the cliff.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA** AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhh!"

* * *

" **WHAT WAS THAT?** "

Off in a dark room, a dark man was not happy at all. He thumped his fist against the arm of his throne, crunching a wine glass into shards, spilling red alcohol all over his hands.

"Once again, your assassin soldier got hung on a wooden fan, your omnipotence!" trembled a kneeling Gerudo, terrified of what would happen to her for their failure.

" **THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE!** "

"But… your plan with the fake letter in a bottle is still up, right?" stammered the woman, "If he believes what you wrote on there, the deity of the sea will eat him up and he'll be out of our way!"

" **Yes, I suppose that is still working just fine, but… wasn't our plan to keep him alive until he does all our work for us?** "

"Remember what you did to their whale deity over there? We all know that the Zora Princess has been inside of it to clean out all the junk from in there, so of course she wouldn't call anyone for help. With your letter… he's going to get one step closer to finishing everything for us!"

* * *

Link slowly stood up, brushing the scratches he had gained from his skidding stop. "He couldn't have dropped me in here?" he groaned, scratching small stones off from his leg. "I'm not a cannonball!"

"Link! Look! It's amazing!" squeaked Navi as she left Link's line of sight. Link looked up after her.

"What am I looking a- Whoa."

Right ahead of him was a crystal clear, blue pool full of swimming natives. The shimmering rays from the water bounced off the smooth, rock walls as young Zora cheered and dived into the water from natural diving boards. One particularly brave child Zora was posing in a large, waterfall cave at the very top of the area as all the children at the bottom cheered for him.

"Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller! Aller!"

All of the kids chanted in a foreign language as they clapped in time before, like a swan who had just seen food, the boy at the top leaped, flipped and dived straight down the waterfall and into the blue waters below, causing all the Zora to applaud wildly.

The diver had stayed in the air for around five seconds. A pretty long time when you think about it.

Intoxicated by the relaxing nature of the domain, Link walked down the rocky path to the little sandy beach that was piled to the left. This whole place was like an indoor water park! Finally, he sat down on the white sand to cool down and unwind. Navi was silent. She, too, needed a bit of a mental break.

As he sat down, Link felt something hard underneath him. A cork, maybe? Shuffling uncomfortably, Link got up to shift positions but, upon closer inspection, this wasn't just a stray cork. It was the seal of a bottle.

The seal of a bottle with a shred of paper in.

"What's this?" Link mouthed to Navi, who simply responded with a bodily shrug and a flash of grey.

"Only one way to find out!" replied the fairy. She was right. No other way than to look! Was it just a useless scrap of paper that happened to drift into a glass container or was this a message in a bottle?

 **POP!**

With a bit of a pull, Link removed the cork from the bottle and tipped the note into his hand.

 _Aidez-moi!_

 _Je t'attendrai dans le ventre du Seigneur Jabu Jabu!_

 _De plus, ne le dis pas à mon père!_

 _\- Princesse Ruto_

"I can't understand it!" complained Link, blowing on the paper in case some debris had covered some letters up that made this letter completely incomprehensible. Navi gave her partner a sly smile.

"Maybe you're holding it the wrong way up!" teased the fairy as she tried her best to stifle her giggles. What made her lose it was when Link began swivelling the note upside down and holding it up to some light to try and find any secret writing. " **AAAH, HA HA HA HA! AAAAH HA HA HA HA HA! AAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!** "

"What's so funny?" Link snapped, trying to make heads or tails of this note before Navi **FINALLY** stopped playing with him.

"It's in French, you wally! Don't you remember back at the Castle Town inn? That Zora spoke French!" wheezed Navi as she tried her best to keep a straight face, but utterly failed. Link was not amused.

"How am I meant to read this, then?"

"Ask someone!"

Rolling his eyes, Link got up and began searching around for an adult Zora who could read the note for him.

Link's search lead him back onto the path and up into a wall, being forced to take his eyes off the swimming Zora, who were swimming around in such a way that it looked like they were making a painting in the water. As he ascended a set of steps, he could hear a deep, heaving voice ahead of him.

" **Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo… Oooh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo...** "

As Link kept going up above the domain, the noises got louder and louder. Eventually, it got to the point where this was the unmistakable sound of crying. When the stairs stopped…

 **Shing!**

 **Clang!**

"Hé toi!"

"Ne bouge pas!"

Link found himself being pointed at by two sharp, silver spears. Two Zora, each wearing golden, swirly armour, backed him further and further out of the room and sitting on a watery ledge was… a much bigger Zora, to say the least. He was hunched over, head in his hands, weeping his eyes out while the guards continued staring at him before finally realising the language barrier problem,

"What are you doing in the throne room of the King?" growled one guard, "We are facing a terrible problem here in the domain so, unless you can solve it, off with you!"

"Throne room?" repeated Link, "I didn't mean to come in here! I was just trying to find someone to decode this note I found." Navi gave an affirmative nod as Link unscrewed the bottle once more and took out the note. "I can make out the end. It's from… Princess Ruto, apparently."

"What did you say?" panted one of the guards in surprise, grabbing the note intended for who-knows-who. Quickly, he began to skim through it, saying some of the words out loud. As he got further and further along in the letter, his eyes got wider and wider. "Oh bon sang!" he finished. "Monsieur, regardez cette lettre!" The Zora jogged up the small set of stairs towards the big one on the simple ledge, who took his arms off of his eyes for this. Whenever he moved, his body jiggled from his fat. He looked more like a big, white frog than a Zora.

 **Schlosh! Schlish!**

Both Navi and Link grimaced at the sight as the King Zora's green eyes, which were on the sides of his head, darted around to focus on the letter. When the letter had been read, the King's mouth was hanging open with surprise. "Oh, zut!" he could only say. "You! With the note! Who are you and what did you come here for? Where did you find this?"

"I'm Link. This is Navi." answered Link. He approached the dais that was in front of the King's ledge and held a bow for two seconds. "I just… found that in the sands down there and was looking for someone to translate it. What does it say?"

The guard that had bought the King the note clacked his spear against the ground. "It says that Princess Ruto is waiting for someone inside the belly of our guardian whale, Lord Jabu Jabu! We have been looking for her all day! Ever since she went to feed and talk to our guardian deity this morning. After she went to Zora's fountain behind us, she never came back! The King has been worried sick!"

Navi looked on in sympathy before she flittered up to the King. "I have an idea!" she chirped, "I can go to Lord Jabu Jabu with my partner here and try to find out what's wrong with him!"

Link nodded at the two guards and the King. "Has he been feeling… wonky lately? Polluted water or anything?"

"Well..." started the King as he started to think, his stomach giving another sickening slosh, "Ever since that Ganondorf fellow showed up, Lord Jabu Jabu has been acting very strangely lately."

Link frowned once again, his face going red. _"He is ALWAYS one step ahead!"_

That did it. He just HAD to help them out. "It's settled. I'll go."

Once again the King's face bore no change. "I don't suppose you would have any more good fortune with finding her than any other Zora's we've sent over, but give it a good go. You may proceed to Zora's Fountain."

With that, the King veered himself to his left a very slight bit before heavily throwing himself sideways…

by about an inch.

" **Oweep.** "

King Zora tried once more.

" **Oweep**."

Both the guards pulled on their neck chains and cringed as Link impatiently watched the King shuffling out of the way.

" **Oweep.** "

We're going to be here for a while, aren't we?

" **Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep.** "

At this rate, it'll be a miracle if he gets out of the way before it gets dark!

" **Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep.** "

Well, I hope everyone bought their own sleeping bags then!

" **Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep.** "

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day**_

* * *

 _"_ _Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air._ _"_


	19. Down In The Mouth

" **Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep…** "

"We don't have all day!" Whispered Navi to herself. Link's arm twitched as the Zora King continued moved along.

" **Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep. Oweep...** "

Slowly, irritatedly, Link scratched the wood of the Deku Shield on his back. _"It would be a_ _surprise_ _if he makes it by next week!"_ groaned his mildly infuriated brain as pins and needles crept into his legs.

"Would you hurry it up, your majesty?" moaned one of the guards, "I thought you wanted your daughter saved!"

As if he'd only just realised that this was why he was letting Link into Zora's Fountain, the King immediately picked up the pace. He puffed and panted as he shuffled along three or four times faster than his previous speed. Now he was zooming along at…

the speed of a tortoise.

I'm just going to make the tea and take the dog for a walk. By the time I come back he probably would have gotten half way.

* * *

All right! At last! He's finally made it! Let's continue, shall we?

"I apologise, kind traveller." said one of the guards, humiliated. "We've been trying to get him to exercise for weeks now, but we would be very lucky if he got out of Zora's Fountain before the sun goes down!"

"Never mind." replied Navi. "He's finished now. We need to get going and find your princess right now!" With that, Link respectfully stepped down from the dais before making his way up the stairs to the side. As he passed King Zora to the cave exit, he discreetly held his nose because of the rancid smell of eaten fish from the King's breath strangled the air, but then he realised that he still had a question. Reluctantly, Link let go of his nose.

"Um, sir?"

Without even moving his head, the King turned one of his big eyes on the side of his head and turned it to face Link. It rolled around like a marble in a goldfish bowl before finally settling still as Link flinched with repugnance. "Yes?"

"What… did Ganondorf do when he come here?" asked Link, trying his best not to sound insensitive. "Did he threaten you for something?"

"Well… No. He was fairly well mannered." The King spoke with a low voice in monotone as he always did. "He came here after getting the honour of feeding Jabu Jabu. One of our young ones just happened to be up there playing around and he noticed what Ganondorf fed Jabu Jabu."

One of the guards clacked his spear on the floor once more. "Apparently, he fed the Lord a red orb that the boy claimed looked like a clownfish egg. Inside the orb was a small creature. It was red and surrounded by electrical jellyfish, connected to it with electrical strings."

" _A monster!"_ Link thought, his heart rate abruptly jumping.

" _If Ruto is in there, that monster will probably go after her!"_ deduced Navi in her head. Not one of them told the King, fearing that he would have a panic attack. Instead, they just wordlessly walked into the tunnel behind the king and were immediately swallowed up by the light outside.

* * *

"Link… do you have any… feelings of suspicion right now?"

Link and Navi had made it out of Zora's Domain through the rocky tunnel and into Zora's Fountain. He trod through ankle-depth water as Navi began shimmering orange. "Navi, please don't say you're talking about the owl again. We were meant to go to that ranch. Remember?"

"No, not him… It's about these Zora!" Navi corrected. "Was that message in the bottle real or… do they just need some cheap chow for their chummy chum?"

Link's heart jumped at the idea, but he opened the letter he got on the beach once more to inspect the handwriting. "I don't think so," said Link, still a little uncertain, "This writing does look a lot like that of a child. Plus, I don't think the Zora are the kind who would do that."

A loud hiss of air escaping from organic holes caught Link's attention. Actually, maybe it was getting sprayed in the face with water that did it.

The water had come from an exhaling, mammal who had exhaled out of its nose with such force that it created wash. It floated in the water, which was almost invisible from its lack of pollutants, before a fancy, broken altar with a gentle look on its face.

It looked like the Loch Ness Monster if it was really into Romans and Greek soldiers. It was a plesiosaur-like animal with a long neck, a large face, a big body and four flippers that dipped into the water like the oars of a Viking longboat. What made it look Roman and Greek was its facial armour. Not sure if that's really needed, but it swirled in grace around the deity, over the top of its sea blue eyes. On top of it lay a big, red brush which helped with the whole 'Roman' look. No doubt about it, this was Lord Jabu Jabu or, as they call him, "Seigneur Jabu Jabu'.

Link stood in awe, impressed by this gentle giant. He was so fascinated that he completely forgot his objective until, five minutes later, Navi poked him in the ribs. "Link, what are you waiting for? Christmas?" joked the girl, "Come on! We've got to make this jumbo veto Ruto!"

"Oh, r- right!" stammered Link as he jumped from his mesmerisation. Clearing his throat, he stood on the amphitheatre altar and held a bow to the great god. Finally, when Link was done, he raised his head and took a nervous gulp when he noticed the sheer size difference between the two. He wasn't even as tall as his stacked lips. No, he wasn't even as tall as his bottom lip. He was like a fly to an adult human. As he stood before Lord Jabu Jabu, he could feel his hot breath gently whooshing past him.

 **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…**

Link stepped back and knelt down before Lord Jabu Jabu, taking out his letter in a bottle for reference.

"Right! Lord Jabu Jabu! I need to talk to you!"

 **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…**

The god was too big. It was like hearing a mosquito buzzing around several feet away from you.

"I said: I need to talk to you!"

 **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…** **Hfffffff…**

" **HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME UP THERE? OPEN YOUR MOUTH SO I CAN CALL TO RUTO IF SHE'S IN THERE! AT LEAST STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT!** " called Link as loud as his little lungs could lift his voice. This time, Jabu Jabu obliged. The giant, red muscle that was Lord Jabu Jabu's tongue extended out through his lips like a tape measure. A really big, sticky tape measure.

 **SSSSCHLUUURP!**

Jabu Jabu gave Link a big, friendly lick, tracing his tongue up his entire front. The sticky substance that coated the muscle ended up sticking to Link, resulting in the gentle whale lifting him up momentarily like a fly on a sticky bit of paper. When Link had fallen off, Jabu Jabu retracted his tongue before licking his lips with it and smacking them. Instead of a simple popping noise, Jabu Jabu's lip smacks sounded like the one o'clock gun.

 **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

With a groan of disgust, Link brushed the sticky substance out of his face and tried to untangle it from his hair. All the while, Navi tried her best not to shimmer pink with amusement and not to laugh. "All right…" he grumbled as he brushed some gooey slobber off Ruto's note. Unfortunately, the ink had started to run from this. Link could see blue ink swirling around in a globule of drool. "That tasted like how a Zora smells. **HEY, LORD JABU JABU! OPEN YOUR EARS AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!** "

"Link!" shouted Navi over her partner's screaming (which STILL wasn't really getting anywhere), "Read that letter to him! Maybe he only understands French!"

"Worth a shot." Link looked down at his running letter, only just about to make out the foreign words. "Right… Jabu Jabu, do you know anything about this?" With that, the boy cleared his throat and began trying to read the French text. Key word: Trying.

"Um… Jeh… Tattendrai… dans la venter..."

"Seriously, this is embarrassing!" teased Navi, letting the amused pink fill her. Link rolled his eyes and continued.

"Doo… Centurion… **AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

Feeling something scaly and wriggly in his top, Link collapsed onto the floor, dropping the letter in the process. "Link! Are you all right! What's happening!" panicked Navi as Link flailed and flopped like a snake on the throes of death. Gripping down his top, Link finally seized the object and tossed it onto the floor by Jabu Jabu.

It was a fish. It must have sneaked into Link's tunic as he entered the fountain but he just hadn't noticed until now. "Link! You scared me!" panted his companion, "I thought you were having a fit!"

 **Sniffffffffffffff! Sniffffffffff!**

Interested, Jabu Jabu's nostrils started sucking air in at lightning speed, smelling the fish. Even this was pulling Link closer. _"If that's the strength of his nostrils, I dread to think what his gob is like!"_ thought Link uneasily as he slowly began backing away from the god, who was now sniffing as if he was about to sneeze. I really hope he isn't, because I don't quite fancy gale force winds around here!

 **Creeeeeeeeeeak…**

Like a giant clown head that took you into a fairground through the hollow mouth, the great Jabu Jabu craned open its cakehole to scoff down the fish.

Uh-oh! Everyone hold on to something! Anything! That pair of pants on the floor of your room will probably do if you tie them to your bedpost!

With a great big breath outwards, Jabu Jabu began inhaling like a hoover. With no delay, the fish was swept up and vanished down Jabu Jabu's throat. His uvula thrashed side to side wildly like it was being used as practice by Earnie Shavers. Even though Jabu Jabu had long ingested the fish, he had forgotten to stop and was now taking Link with him.

"Link! Run for it! Save yourself!" cried Navi as she tried as hard as possible to outrun the vortex. This turned out to be to no avail. The fairy soon found herself dragged into complete and total darkness. Not even her light rendered herself visible.

Link grimaced, still standing his ground and slowly being dragged forwards. Navi had told him to run away and save himself, but… _"I can't just let her become a fairy cake! And Ruto is probably in the_ _re! That's it! I'm going!"_

With that, Link jumped and let the guzzling gale take him. The last thing he heard before losing consciousness out of fright was a deep rumbling from Jabu Jabu, as well as his mouth smashing back down with a colossal **CRASH!**

* * *

 **Drip… Drip… Drip… Drip… Drip… Drip…**

"Hm?" Link awoke on a slimy, soft surface to water dripping down on his face. "Rain? But there wasn't a cloud in the sky earlier!"

 **SPLAT!**

With a terrible squelch, a raindrop landed dead on Link's face. It felt like being hit with a water balloon. Either it had started raining REALLY heavily or something was horribly wrong. Link licked it off of himself, but it certainly didn't taste like rain. It was like a big dollop of bread dough. Finally, Link opened his eyes.

Surprisingly, he could see. Unfortunately, he could also smell. It PONGED in there. The red, squishy walls were covered in bioluminescent limpets, which glowed green like radioactive waste. Speaking of the walls, little bulges of bone went crossing and bending overhead like wooden beams in an old English house. Behind him was a baleen that hung downward like the strings of a delicate harp.

 **SMACK!**

Another serving of… something reminded Link to scoop whatever this was off of his face. It was seethrough and full of unmoving bubbles like a glass paperweight, except it was… Saliva. And it was...

making Link's roast dinner from last night want to turn around and go straight back the way it came!

" **THAT'S DISGUSTING!** "

"Link? Where are you? Was that you?" came an echoing voice from inside the throat. As Link wretched over the massive muscle he lay on, he noticed a blue light drift up and towards him. Navi almost flew straight past him, but Link caught her in his hand as he flew past.

At first, Navi yelped because she thought Link was a monster, but she calmed down once she realised that it was just her companion. "Oh, Link, it's you! Thank goodness! I thought I'd lost you!"

"I thought you had too." replied Link, releasing Navi as she perched on his shoulder like a cockatiel. "That was dangerous."

"Now, where did we end up? Don't tell me we're..."

Link waved around the… room, if you can call it that. "We're inside this governor's gob! He ate us up like what those Gerudo are doing with Ganondorf's lies!"

"I had a gut feeling that was the case."

Link playfully flicked at Navi to try and keep their spirits up, but the thick muscle that Link was sitting on jerked backwards violently.

It was Jabu Jabu's tongue.

Still on his bottom, Link slid down the monarch's oesophagus and glided down the inside of its long neck as if he were riding a waterslide.

A very sticky and dark waterslide.

You know, I've seen people sliding down the neck of Nessie on this site, but I don't think that this is what the creator of that trope had in mind.

* * *

"Princess."

Oh, it's Impa! I'd forgotten about her!

Princess Zelda, who was watching the fireplace in the throne room, turned as her bodyguard ninja burst into view behind her.

"Impa. How is he doing?" asked Zelda, placing a hand on her heart as it got faster and faster. She really wanted to get an answer, but at the same time she didn't. It was really weird.

"He keeps his spiritual stones in the buckle holes of his sword belt, so they were in plain view." stated Impa. She held up two of her fingers. "I can say that he is making good progress. Last time I saw him at the ranch, he had both the Kokiri Emerald and the Goron Ruby attached to it."

"Great! Thank goodness! Just one more to go!"

Despite Zelda's relief, Impa was still rather serious. "We are not in the clear yet. Your dreams are getting more violent, as you are saying, and he still has one more to get."

"Still..." Zelda looked out the window at the active town ahead, trying to stall for time for a response. "It's best if we stay bright and happy. It's better that way."

* * *

Still sliding down the fleshy slide, Link turned a small corner and shot out of the hole, landing with a **SQUELCH** in a big, open room. He slithered like a bowling ball across the giant, open cavity where he stopped, his tunic weighing a ton from the slimy slobber.

 **UUUUUUUURP!**

The whole place shook as Lord Jabu Jabu let out a monstrous belch. The walls convulsed, the floor bounced and threw Link straight to the floor. "Oh, rub it in, will you!" Link shouted in frustration.

"Who's there? Show yourself at once!"

Link almost jumped clean out of his skin. He had never heard this kind of tone from Navi. Also, her voice had gotten rougher and a lot more screechy.

"Navi? Is that you?" called out Link into the darkness. "What's happened to your voice?"

"Um… That isn't me!" To his surprise, Navi, in her regular voice, flittered over around his head, grey with confusion.

"Navi? Who on earth is Navi? I'm no Navi!"

Link looked for any signs of movement in the darkness, but a loud clicking sounded. The sound of popping knuckles. On the mark of this sound, a figure lit up sea blue.

* * *

It was a small Zora child, about the size of Link. The boy could tell that this Zora was a girl, since she had a bit of a different shape than the other children he saw playing in Zora's Domain. Her front was white, but her back was scaly sea blue. Her head was different than the other Zora Link had seen as well. Most of the others had shark-like tail hanging off the back of their heads, but this girl had… kind of a regular head. However, it widened dramatically as it got taller, making it look like she had a MASSIVE brain. Her narrowed eyes were still twinkling from her own light and they had unusual, lavender irises. She had evidently found the fish that Link had tempted Jabu Jabu with, as she had just finished swallowing it whole.

"Who are you supposed to be? How did you get in here?" demanded the girl as she stomped the fleshy floor and sprayed Link with… something from it.

"Whoa, hey, careful! I'm not poisonous!" said Link desperately in a vain attempt to calm her down.

"Well, what are you after, then?" This girl obviously had the temper of a boiling kettle.

"You wouldn't happen to be… Princess Ruto, would you?"

"Why, of course I am! Have you humans never heard of Zora royalty before?" Ruto crossed her arms and turned away, pouting.

"Well… I'm a Kokiri. I'm from the forest and we don't usually get to leave. I don't really know much about places outside the forest."

"Pfft! Well then, I'm Ruto. Now that I've told you who I am, introduce yourself… Kokiri."

Despite his annoyance at her referring to him with 'Kokiri', Link bowed down to her. "I am Link, from the Kokiri Forest. I was sent here by your father to look for you."

"My father?" mirrored Ruto, her eye twitching madly, "Why would he send you all the way into this whale gut to look for me? Why, that big, blubbering blob of blubber!"

"We found a note in a bottle. It said something in French about how you were trapped in here and you were waiting to be rescued." chimed in Navi, flashing her serious green.

"Well, firefly, that missive was a massive mockery! I never sent any letter? How would I get it out?"

"Then what's that?" asked Link rhetorically as he pointed to a small puddle of water behind Ruto.

"What?" Ruto followed his finger with her eyes. Behind her was a fallen bottle, which had its cork knocked off and its guts spilled out. Those guts being a soggy piece of paper. "Is this it? Well, I shall read it, but you must go home! Right now!"

" _How?"_ thought Link as he discreetly picked up the empty bottle for later use (though it would require a thorough wash, as would he) as Ruto bent and lifted the letter. Her eyes skimmed through it before tearing it to shreds instantly. Link was about to ask "What is your problem?" very harshly, but Ruto said a word that sent a chill up his spine.

No, she didn't swear. Didn't you read the description?

"Ganondorf!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that isn't from your father?" gasped Link as he inspected the empty bottle the note came in. Fingernail scratch marks were running across it like it had been attacked by a tiger.

"Of course not!" howled ruto, stomping the remnants of the paper into the mushy flooring. "This paper is made from a Gerudo Cercidium tree! They only grow in the desert, where Ganondorf is from! In fact, I saw him burying that in the beach at Zora's Domain, but I thought it was something personal of his!"

"Oh. Really? He's tricked me again! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be down in the mouth, would we?"

"You're against him too?" said Ruto. Link quickly noticed that her tone had softened a little.

"Well… Yes, of course! First, he killed my father, then he killed my mother, then he killed my **next** father, then he almost **STARVED AN ENTIRE RACE TO DEATH** and now he's tricking people into becoming a numen's nosh!"

Ruto took a long pause, contemplating her options as Link sat down to do the same.

"See?" said Navi gently as she turned a mild yellow. "Link's on your side! He's only here to help."

Finally, Ruto made up her mind. "Oh, all right. Link, as awkward as this is right now..."

"Yes?"

"We're going to have to team up."

Link stood up to face Ruto. "Right. That sounds like a good idea." agreed Link. "We don't want to come climbing out of here arguing all the way!"

Link wasn't sure of it, but he thought that his joke made the corner of Ruto's mouth smile a little. Even if it was just at a small angle and for a split second, that was progress.

"Shake on it, you two!" interrupted Navi, buzzing around them, "We can't have this falling apart at the seams!"

"Oh. Right. Good idea, Navi. Partners for now, Ruto?" motored Link quickly. The stench of the stomach was really motivating him to get out as fast as possible. Ruto wasn't quite sure about this handshake as she appeared to cringe a little, but she shook his hand anyway.

Her concern was justified, as Link almost immediately withdrew, slightly repulsed by the Zora slime on her hand. "What on earth is that stuff?" he grimaced. Ruto gave him a sly smile.

"You are literally inside a mammal that is dripping with body fluids. How is Zora slime any worse?"

"That's a point. Sorry."

Hoping to get away from this awkward situation, Link turned around and…

...walked smack into an electrified, floating jellyfish.

 **KZZKZKZZZKZKZKZKZZKZZKZZT!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

That was when Link blacked out once more. The electric sting was so powerful that it had knocked him out cold.

It even gave me a nasty shock and blew out all the lights in my room! Well, blast it all! Does EVERYTHING I write down just appear or happen out of nowhere? Let's try it!

Helicopter made of gold!

…

…

…

No? Well, I'm just going to go and check the fuse box. I'll be right with you all after that.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Now the lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights."_


	20. White Hot Lightning

Bah! It's not working! Connect this wire to the fulcrum, move this one over here and- **OW!** That's the third time I've got a shock from this thing! How do I turn the lights back on?

Oh, right. I just had to flick the ON switch. There we go! That's better! We can get on with it!

Right, then, Link and Ruto walked down the bouncy cavity in the centre of Lord Jabu Jabu. He was expecting to find a big bag full of acid, but everything was just… empty.

"How does this guy digest his dinners?" asked Link to the glowing Princess Ruto. He himself was still singed by the jellyfish attack earlier.

"His stomach acid is on the floor." claimed the girl. All the colour drained from Link as he quickly checked his boots for burn marks. Ruto gave him a funny look before she realised what the panic was all about. "It isn't that strong, so food survives for three days and three nights. If we get out before then, we're all good."

"This juggernaut is a jungle!" groaned Navi in frustration as she floated clear of the floor. Except for the terrible smell, she had nothing to worry about, even after three days and nights. "Why are we going even further? We should just climb back up and out."

"That's the problem." replied Ruto, "There's something REALLY important to me that I dropped in here a while back. We can't possibly go back until we find it!"

"Is it really that important?" sighed Navi, turning grey. That did NOT help with the visibility situation. "What is it?"

"It's the Zora Sapphire. My special ring." answered Ruto. Link's heart rose at the prospect of this being the last Spiritual Stone. "I was feeding Lord Jabu Jabu this morning when… he suddenly swallowed me! I was so surprised that I dropped my ring!"

"The King told me that this was the work of Ganondorf as well!" Link told Ruto. Immediately, she stopped walking and turned to him.

"What did you say?" hissed Ruto. Immediately, she grabbed Link by the front of the tunic and shook him back and forth as if he had just started choking. "Tell me, what did he feed Jabu Jabu?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" interrupted Navi. She turned a stressed yellow and separated the two. "Gentle, now. Have you ever tried speaking while being shaken silly?"

And so, Ruto stopped shaking Link, who caught his breath. "Apparently, Ganondorf fed Jabu Jabu a little egg containing a monster! It was red… and it had these tiny little jellyfish floating around it!"

"Barinade!" hissed Ruto. Abruptly, she dropped Link to the floor. "I wondered what that cracking noise was earlier!"

"Barinade? As in, marinade and barricade? Who's that?" chimed in Navi. She turned her curious grey and floated to Ruto.

"Well, Ms. Fairy..."

"Navi."

"...Well, Navi, Barinade is a big, parasitic monster that gets fed to a host and then it gives them an incurable hunger! It is dangerous! We need to find my ring and get out. NOW."

Link and Navi both exchanged fearful and confused glances. "With respect, Ms. Ruto..." started Link, "if that monster was small enough for Ganondorf to hold, it can't be that big, That stinger can't hold a candle to a stinging nettle!"

"Did I say 'big'? When I say big, I mean **FLIPPING… ENORMOUS!** "

Link listened to his surroundings out of paranoia.

 **Boom.. Boom boom tic! Tic, boom… Boom boom tic! Tic, boom… boom boom tic… RRRUMMMMBLE… Tic boom… Boom boom tic…**

The heartbeat of the colossal creature exploded through its insides, often interrupted by a thunderous belch that shook the gruesome catacombs. It sounded like someone farting into a rubber balloon while composing a drum beat for a rap song in an empty museum at night.

The smell and surroundings were overwhelming. Link almost went the same colour as his tunic. His vision started drifting off again and he almost collapsed to the floor, but Ruto quickly shook him awake. "Hey, Kokiri, look! I've found something!"

Link shook his head wildly to snap himself out of his trance. Had Ruto found her ring or…

"It's a sphincter!"

"A what?"

"This leads out of the stomach chamber and into the small intestine. I've heard that a lot of things that get lost end up in here so, with any luck, the Zora Sapphire will be down here."

Link looked over at the… sphincter. It was a big piece of body tissue that stretched into place to separate the stomach from the small intestines. It twitched and writhed about as if alive and…

I really should be eating when writing this.

"How do we go through that?" asked Navi. Link was REALLY hoping there wasn't a way. He shook his head at the fairy with a cringing expression on his face. To his disappointment, Ruto responded.

"Easy! Just push it!" With that, she extended her arm, walked forwards and completely disappeared into the thin, pink partition.

Inhaling with anticipation, Link held his breath and charged after her. For a second, he felt more flesh and fluids but he immediately came crashing into the small intestine.

And Ruto.

"Ow!" she cried as Link ploughed into her, knocking her clean to the floor. "Keep your eyes open! This is serious slogging!"

"Sorry." Link pulled both himself and Ruto up as he sheepishly rubbed his head, "Now, let's go and find your ring."

* * *

With the great flap of his great wings, Kaepora Gaebora shot past the clouds and landed directly on top of a cloud that was shaped like a massive bird perch. Before him, stood on a gigantic pedestal, was a large, robed woman several times bigger than him. "How is our young hero getting along, messenger?" came her ethereal, soft voice.

Kaepora craned his neck upside down once more. "The road was twisted, but he is just fine so far. I can sense him and his aura. It's kind of… smelly at the moment."

"Good." replied the woman, "He is inside the belly of Lord Jabu Jabu at the moment. I can see that this is the location of the last Spiritual Stone. It may not seem that believable, but he is closer than ever to succeeding."

"What will my next task be, my goddess?" asked the owl, bowing down on his perch. Even though he was very big compared to regular people, this woman made him look like a sparrow compared to a housemaid.

"When he exits Zora's Domain, wait for him there. Carry him to Hyrule Castle so he can tell the princess of his success. Then, they shall advance down to the Temple of Time where they will open the Door of Time and get to the Triforce."

"Yes, God Almighty. I understand perfectly."

 **BOOOOOOOM!**

It was very quiet, but off in Hyrule Castle, a big explosion tore up the central area of the castle. People off in the town all started to scream and flee as smoke began bleeding into the air. Realising the danger, a soldier disappeared off into the bell tower and began ringing the massive bell as hard as he could.

 **DING, DONG, DING, DONG, DING, DONG!**

"The King of Evil's attack has begun." rang the goddess very simply like she knew it was going to happen at that very moment. "I will need to change my new order to you now, but please fly down to Zora's River immediately and collect Link when he emerges. Castle Town needs him!"

"Yes, master."

With that, the great owl turned around slowly and leaped off the edge, jetting down to Hyrule Field and through Zora's River.

* * *

"If these are his small intestines, I dread to think what the large one is like."

Ruto walked ahead of Link, still lit up like a glowstick. Her light was brighter than Navi's, so she had agreed to sticking ahead. The small intestines were respectably roomy. It was like walking in the channel tunnel without the massive train coming chugging by.

"His large intestine is GIGANTIC. You can't see the roof of it. It's that big." replied Ruto. Link was very impressed.

" **Biri!** "

Princess Ruto immediately whirled around. She was not letting Link fall for this again. "Link, about face! Now! Otherwise you'll be rocking a shock again!" Ruto forcefully turned Link around.

Behind Link was a bioluminescent jellyfish. A Biri. The same one that had shocked him before. It had green, glowing dots on its jelly cover and a pink, swirling line going around and meeting with itself.

" **Biri! Biri! Biribiribiribiribiribiribiribiri!** "

Ruto was expecting Link to run away terrified but instead, he drew his sword and took a wild swing at the ballistic Biri. Unfortunately, Ruto had been expecting flight because fighting it with a sword was impossible. "No! Don't do-"

 **KZKZKZZZKZKZKZKZZZZZZZT!**

As soon as Link chopped it in two like a log, jolt after jolt ran up the Kokiri Sword and invaded him. He emitted a gargled cry as Navi tried to calm him down, only succeeding in getting a little shock for herself. When the ordeal finally concluded, Link collapsed to the floor, almost planting his sword straight into the floor before remembering that he was inside a living, sentient being.

"You OK?" harrumphed Ruto, pulling the smoking boy up. "When I warned you of that Biri, I was telling you to book it, not blitz it!"

"I'll take your word on that next time." croaked Link, slapping a smoking spot on his skin as if it were a mosquito. He turned around…

...and almost walked straight into the snouted mouth of another monster.

A giant, purple monster that somewhat resembled an oversized octopus was looming in front of them. It bore slanted, green eyes that made it look like it was permanently frowning. Its head was covered in massive, bioluminescent limpets that were rapidly changing colour like disco lights. It had eight suckered tentacles, said suckers producing hot steam.

" **Glaaaaaargh!** "

"Holy calamari!" cried Navi, turning Yellow and surrounding the monster for analysis.

"Is that Barinade?" Link slowly began to back away from the salivating monster as its soulless eyes focused on him.

"No, that's Octacon!" replied Ruto, "A giant Octorok! What's he doing in here?"

"Do we fight or flight?"

"Flight! Quick! He makes sushi out of Zora!"

Ruto took Link by the hand and began running back the way they came, the great monster giving pursuit. "Hey, wait for me!" squealed Navi, flying away after Link and Ruto. Octacon's mucus rattled in its snout as it chased after the fleeing three.

"So, this nutter makes Zora out of sushi?" puffed Link breathlessly as Ruto led him back towards the sphincter they had come in from.

"No! The other way around!" groaned Ruto. "He can spit rocks, boomerangs, knives, the whole lot! Just be careful!"

The two hurtled around the corner towards the sphincter to exit but as they got there…

...it had been blocked off. It looked like some kind of mucus spider had woven a web across it. Link and Ruto ran straight into the web of green… whatsit, and nearly got stuck. When they heard Octacon slithering up behind, they found the energy to break out.

" **Waaaaaaaargle!** "

"Link, it is charging up an attack!" pointed out Navi. Well, that was rather redundant because Link could hear a loud whooshing sound and the monster was compressing its snout, ready to fire. With a loud cough, it released its projectile.

A brown, curved stick. It spun through the air towards the children, whirling around like helicopter blades. Link and Ruto both ducked and hit the… flesh as the weapon harmlessly passed over them and stuck against the mucus covering the exit.

"Link, grab that thing there!" ordered Ruto. Link swiftly did as she said, prising the wood out of the sticky secretion, but he had no idea what it would achieve. The item was strategically carved into a curve for some reason, and it was embedded by a red jewel.

"All right, so what does this do?"

"Throw it!"

Link, rather bemused, reeled back to hurl the stick at Octacon, but the monster began turning blue before inhaling again. Link and Ruto grabbed the ropey stuff on the sphincter to avoid getting eaten again, successfully using the stickiness to stand their ground. However, the air began to grow chilly and frosty. Little snowflakes started materialising in the air before being sucked into Octacon's snout.

It was not trying to get a free lunch.

"Link, it's trying to freeze us! I'm going to get freezer burn!" shouted Ruto, trying to remove her hands from the jungle of snot to shake Link around with. "Hold that thing up above your head! Do it now!"

"What will that do?" groaned Navi as Link frowned at the princess, struggling to think of how that would do anything, but her face was that of genuine panic and desperation. Opting to believe her once more, Link turned to the monster and lifted the twisted stick up above his head. With a crazed roar, Octacon blasted a beam of sub-zero ice straight at the pair. Link closed his eyes and prepared to become a green ice lolly…

...but no.

Instead, all the ice got drawn straight into the jewel with the same sound as what was produced by Octacon firing the beam, only reversed. Link looked in awe at the jewel on the toy, which was glowing white instead of red. It now felt a whole lot colder. In fact, Link almost dropped it to the floor from the low temperature. Cold steam blistered up into the developing air as Ruto eyed him, expecting him to do something. "Well? Throw it! It's a boomerang, it'll come back!"

"All right, all right!" Impatient, Link hurled the stick as hard as he could. It cut through the air with the greatest of ease but, unlike when Octacon had fired it, it was trailing freezing air behind it. Curiously, the item turned in an arc, striking Octacon as it did so before extinguishing and landing back into Link's hand with a stinging smack. Octacon violently writhed about, turning blue again as it screamed, but in moments it was encased in a messy block of ice. _"Incredible!"_

"Link, are you ready?" asked Ruto to Link. She pumped her fist in the air triumphantly and as she did, there was a loud scraping noise as a sharp, blade-like fin emerged from the back of her arm. "Let's finish him off!" Link nodded at the princess before charging at the frozen blue-plate special with his sword drawn. The two shouted loudly as they reached their target before they leaped into the air, raking deep into the beast with their blades. The bouncy ground enabled them to spring all the way over the monster before landing behind it.

At first, nothing happened. The children looked back at the block of ice they had just halved, a clean line going up and down it on both sides.

Link thought that he hadn't done anything at first but after a deceiving pause, the two blocks of ice split and fell apart cleanly and evenly, taking the two halves of the monster with them. They both crashed to the floor before exploding in a burst of blue mist.

* * *

Both Link and the princess stayed stationary for thirty seconds, cold from the freezing explosion, hot from the insides of Jabu Jabu, sick from the stench. However, something in the icy remains caught Ruto's eye.

Something blue and shiny.

"I've..." she stammered, picking up the triple-sapphire. Three little circles of blue, a golden W separating them. It had a little O below that to wear on the finger. It was Ruto's precious ring. "I've found it! Link, I've found my ring!"

The boy and his fairy looked over at the princess as she giddily picked it up and put it on her appropriately named ring finger, admiring its sheen. Link, despite still not being 100% sure if he liked her or not, felt very warm and happy for her. She really looked like she'd found her lost dog. "Well, Ruto. This turned out well!"

"Yes." Ruto turned back to him and fixed him with a jarringly serious look. "And now that I have it back, there is no need for any of us to be here! Let's get out of here now before Barinade shows up!"

"Agreed." added Navi. "That guy seems like a massive threat."

"All right. Let's go."

Link had Ruto stand back and, now that he had time to think without an unhinged octopus behind him, he drew his sword and slashed at the obstructions on the sphincter in a cross shape. In one clean split, they all tumbled to the floor. Link, Navi and Ruto ran through the exit and back into the main room.

The main cavity seemed a lot… different than when Link came sliding inside. At first, it was completely empty. Now there was a strange organism residing in the dead centre of the room. It had three coloured tentacles of red, blue and green that sucked energy from the ceiling. The energy it sapped was sucked into its midsection, which was a large, fleshy ball with transparent blobs containing electricity attached to it.

As Ruto came into the room, she almost froze in fear, hiding behind Link as if he were a shield. "Link, that's him!" she whispered as the being slowly twitched.

The Pink, Pesky Parasite of Pain:

 **BARINADE.**

* * *

Groaning like a worker on a Monday morning, the monster reared an antennae towards Ruto. White hot electricity started crackling at the tip of the point.

"Look out, Ruto!" Link shoved Ruto right out the way of the locked stun gun as it fired a devastating beam of lightning. Ruto made it out just fine due to Link's shove, but he himself took the hit instead. Burning electricity smoked him all over. The pain was so intense, so overwhelming that Link could no longer remember who he was, where he was or why he was there. Electricity made him jolt like a hosepipe that had been left on at full pressure and then dropped. His head felt like it would burst from the pain and he was screaming harder than he ever had in his life.

"Link! Link! Stop! Please stop! Roll out of the way!" screamed Navi, turning a depressed black as her partner vanished beneath a shower of sparks and layers of smoke. Finding herself genuinely terrified for his life, Ruto ran over and reached into the sparks. She, a water being, was weak against electricity, so she had to fight through SERIOUS pain to find what she was looking for but she finally found and dislodged Link's Deku Shield from his back and advanced into the stream of electricity, holding the wooden shield up to protect herself and directing the pain away from Link in the process.

"Ruto..." croaked Link as his charred arm reached up after her to try and follow. "You'll get yourself killed. Please…" Navi gently turned back to normal and perched soothingly on the back of his hand.

"Link… you all right?" she asked him softly. Finding the power within him to get up, Link drew his sword and limped after the princess.

"I'm… going to help her if it's the last thing I do!" he fought to get these words out as he joined Ruto, who was blocking the electricity with the Deku Shield. Closer and closer they got until finally, they reached the centre of the monster. Link was about to strike it down but one of the tentacles attached to the ceiling broke away so it could wrap around Ruto and lift her clean into the air.

"Link!" cried Ruto while the monster pulled her higher and higher until she was pressing against the ceiling. "Your boomerang! Throw the boomerang!"

"The what?"

"The curved stick! Throw it at the tentacles!"

" _Oh, that!"_ Link reached for his boomerang, pulling it out of his bag before hurling it overhead. The boomerang went like a police dog, viciously severing all three tentacles in one fell swoop before loyally returning to its master. The red one still coiled around Ruto, all of them splattered down to the floor. "Are you all right?" asked Link as he ran over to free Ruto from the broken mess of a red tentacle, which was already leaking blood onto the floor.

All that cutting off its tentacles did was anger Barinade. Making a monstrous whirling noise, it began loosening all the jellyfish from its body, only connecting them with a line of electricity, before it spun around like a top towards the two. "Run for it!" shouted Ruto as she half dragged, half carried Link away from the whirling anemone. Once again, its antennae started to crackle with electricity as they targeted the fleeing pair.

" **WHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHUWHU!"** Barinade gargled, charging its attack as it continued spinning wildly. It was almost about to open fire.

"Link, your boomerang! Do the thing!" cried Navi, flashing colours, "That absorb-y thing! Suck up the lightning!"

Despite not knowing whether absorption would work with electricity, Link broke away from Ruto and sent her tumbling to the floor. With a shout, he thrust the boomerang up above his head like a knight wielding a broken sword as Barinade unleashed yet another torrent of white hot lightning.

 **KZZZZKZKZKZKZKKZKZKZZZZKZKZKZKZZKZKKZZT!**

Link shut his eyes and prepared for the worst, but the lightning was drawn straight into the crystal on the boomerang, turning it a cracking yellow. It also made Link's hand start tingling as if he had it on a van de graaff generator.

"Now, give it your worst, Link!" cheered Navi, turning a triumphant gold. Link waited patiently for an opening before chucking the boomerang at the tummy bug as hard as he could. Ruto sat and watched in stunned amazement as the boomerang cut through almost every one of the jellyfish, gaining more electricity as it went. Bursting embers of spark followed the boomerang as if it was ripping up space itself before it finally hit the monster directly. Electricity completely surrounded it, only leaving its shape visible as it let out a disturbingly humanoid scream.

" **AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!** "

The boomerang had not yet caused enough pain because it began turning back to the monster. With another blast of static, it torched it again. This time, it slowly stopped wriggling as it became engulfed by light.

" **WuuuuUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo... oo… oo...** "

The last thing that could be made out of Barinade was its still shape and the last of its jellyfish bursting in small explosions before Barinade perished in one massive blast that blew it to smithereens. Its explosion caused every wall, the ceiling and the floor of the main body cavity to expand dramatically, temporarily bloating Jabu Jabu with air until he deflated. Speaking of him, he craned his neck up and looked at his body in alarm, eyes wide, before quickly passing it off as him eating something that didn't agree with him.

The explosion was so powerful and messy that it painted the entire room green with parasitic blood, with chunks of inedible flesh from the monster burying Link alive. He was so repulsed, so deprived of air, so scared and so alone under there that he found himself unconscious.

…

…

…

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _We all make mistakes, everybody should be given a second-chance."_


	21. Royal Blood

"Where is he?"

It had been twenty minutes after Barinade's destruction. Twenty minutes of Ruto searching through chunks of green-stained meat and burning smoke in an attempt to find her friend. The fact he wore green clothes, which blended with the blood, didn't help one bit.

"I don't know! We've been looking for… loads of hours now and no sign!" replied Ruto as, with a sickening slithering noise, she moved another piece of sticky flesh out the way.

Nope.

Only more green, slimy meat. Only this time, it was moving and groaning. _"_ _Gross!"_ thought Ruto as she winced in disgust, about to move onto the next piece. When the piece of meat said her name, she quickly turned back to it. "Link? Is that you?"

"Ow… Burn… Hurts..."

The princess followed the gasping voice, tracing it back to the pile she just moved. Blending in from his green clothes, Link was hardly moving. The only times he did move was to wince and scratch an electricity burn. Acting fast, Ruto turned to Navi. "He's not looking so good. What do I do?" she said, her voice breaking with concern.

"Just get him and you out of here." replied Navi, turning a hopeful pink-red colour. "With Barinade gone, Lord Jabu Jabu would probably be willing to let us out."

"I hope so!" With that, Ruto hauled Link to his feet as gently could, slung an arm of his over her shoulders and walked him to the hole that went up to the neck.

* * *

With an almighty yawn, Lord Jabu Jabu opened his mouth to let Ruto and Link out. In a backdrop of smoke from the last explosion, Link and Ruto hobbled out onto a branch that was several meters away from the altar, since the whale had gone on a little swim while they were in there.

"Air!" squeaked Link as he ran out onto the end of the branch, feeling better in an instant. "Fresh air! Light!" He tried to turn and find Ruto, but within an instant, she had gone. "Ruto? Ruto, don't tell me you've gone back in there! I can't stomach another trip through that whale maze!" A pink glow caught Link's attention. When he looked up, Navi was flapping above his head, clearly amused over something. "Navi? Have you seen Ruto anywhere? And no jokes! I know what that shade of pink means!"

"I honestly have no idea!"

Link frowned at his fairy, hearing a bit of a playful giggle in her voice. "Cut the cover-ups! Where did she go? This is serious!"

Link turned around away from Navi and almost walked right into a smiling, fishy face peering straight at him. With a strangled gasp, the boy fell backwards, hitting the water with a stinging slap.

 **SPLAAAAASH!**

It was the face of Ruto. Still grinning as Navi burst into uncontrollable laughter. Just as they had done when Link started his adventure, his burns had stopped hurting completely. Unlike the last time, they did not completely disappear. They were still there, but they were no longer causing intense pain and suffering, not even when he touched them. However, his tunic was still burned black in some places. "Hey, don't do that!" said Link, furrowing his brow. He was clearly trying his best to hold back his own laughter. "I think I've had enough of water for now!"

With a giggle of her own, Ruto majestically leaped into the air, becoming a silhouette in the sun and flicking drops of water, before swan diving gracefully into the water. Darting around underwater like a gentle torpedo, Ruto finally began to slow down as she surfaced, facing Link. "Hey… You were pretty cool." admitted Ruto flatly. " **Water** way to escape the belly of a deity!"

"Oh, get out." Navi laughed flatly at Ruto's joke as she descended onto Link's head.

"We are out, fairy! We got out just now!" Ruto's impish smile got wider and wider, enjoying playing around with Navi.

"AAARGH! I'll see myself out!"

"But you already are!" repeated Ruto. Navi was so flushed that she dove straight into Link's hat.

"Anyway, back to you..." Ruto swam closer to Link, who could soon feel hot breath on his neck. It felt like a hair dryer was being turned on and off onto his neck at a low volume, minus all the whirring. "For the boy who saved this loach from becoming lunch, you can name your prize! I will make certain that it gets to you!"

Link couldn't help turning red in the cheeks as Ruto swam even nearer. He almost wanted to back away but he didn't want to come off as rude. "Anything?"

"Yes! Anything!" repeated Ruto, passionately shaking her head. "Money? my dad has MILLIONS of smackers! Just say it and I'll convey it!"

Discreetly swimming backwards to give himself some space, Link pulled on his collar to let some water out before mustering up his thoughts for an answer. "That ring you got back in Lord Jabu Jabu… Can I just see it for a moment?"

With a sharp, toothy grin, Ruto pulled her ring off of her finger. "This one? Whatever for?"

Oh.

This wasn't going to be easy to explain.

"Well… I… You see… Your ring is..." stammered Link, his premeditated sentence falling apart in moments. "It's..."

"Pretty?" suggested Ruto, tilting her head. "I agree. It still didn't lose its sheen even after Jabu Jabu swallowed it!"

"Speaking of that, how did that happen? Did you accidentally drop it in with his fish and then dive in after it?"

Ruto puffed on the sapphire, wiping the remaining traces of slobber off of it before dipping it in the water to demist it. "No, not like that!" denied the girl, "I went to feed him, as I would do, but when I dumped all of his breakfast bristlemouths on the floor, he inhaled WAY too hard! He caught me with them and I was so surprised that I dropped my ring!"

"Same here." answered Link, shaking his head with a small laugh, "The fish you were eating in there was actually how I got in."

"Well, we're out now." Ruto finished. Presenting the ring to Link, she smiled once more. "Did you want this ring?"

"Yes. Long story short, it's to stop Ganondorf getting the Triforce and… blowing the world up."

"Right… My mother always told me to give this, the Zora Sapphire, to the person I am going to marry. Do you accept that?"

" _Marry?"_ mirrored Link's head as he raised one side of his face as if it were a separate entity. Whatever it meant can't have been good because Link heard a small, stifled laugh from his hat. Whatever it was, was also necessary, however. Link had to do it. "Yes. I do."

Ruto looked like she had taken a once in a lifetime opportunity. The happiest girl on the planet, she immediately gave Link a squeezing, slimy hug which almost sank the boy like a ship with a leak. "Careful! Careful! I can't breathe underwater!"

Slowly and sheepishly, Ruto let him go. "Sorry about that!" she nervously laughed, turning salmon red. "Just… give me your hand a moment so I can put this ring on." Not sure where this was going, Link did so. Ruto took his arm in her hand and slid the Zora Sapphire onto his ring finger. "There we are! It's nice isn't it!"

"Navi?" hissed Link up to his fairy, who lifted his hat up to peak out. "What does 'marry' mean?"

The titter that came back from Navi made his face instantly go red with fear. "It's when two people become a unified couple to declare their love for each other!"

Immediately, Link's face went white like a piece of paper. "What?"

And then he lost consciousness once more.

* * *

Unfortunately, it was too late for Zelda's plan to work at this point. As you may have gathered earlier, Ganondorf, Ganondorf Dragmire, the Great King of Evil, had laid siege to Hyrule Castle. In he had galloped on his black horse, all his Gerudo following him. By that, I mean he literally rode into the castle.

"Kwiliwch dod yssafel ness bwyddych chi'na bob a hiid i'ra offrein hwnnwr!" Ganondorf barked orders to his Gerudo in Gerudian, who were frantically bursting into rooms and raiding the guts of them.

 **CRASH!** A woman smashed into the kitchen, prompting the pear-shaped chef to yank his ladle out of his hot soup for a fight. He was struck down in seconds.

 **SMASH!** Another bandit came crashing into the lavatories, crashing into all the locked stalls and quickly making an escape when no sign of the instrument turned up.

 **CLATTER!** A thief destroyed the door to the pantry. The preparer quickly reacted but, despite being able to dump a bag of flour over her head, he was quickly cut down.

 **SPLINTER!** A scientist shattered into the cellar with a flask of chemicals. All she succeeded in doing was hitting the window with it instead of the storage man before she was hit by a crossbow bolt.

"BLE WYR PICWS?" blasted Ganondorf with more Gerudian. The Gerudo all ran back towards their master before pointing behind them. To answer his question, there was the princess, fleeing around a corner. "How many people must die before they learn their lesson?"

Ganondorf cupped his hand at the princess as a fireball began growing inside of the shape. With a deep roar, the wizard shot a flamethrower blast at her. The princess was just able to escape around the corner as the blast roasted the wall.

"Father! Father!" called the princess, hot tears dripping to the floor as she put her head down to the floor. As she turned the corner, she almost ran smack into Ganondorf, who had warped in front of her.

"Calling your father is no help now."

Savouring the fear and blank sorrow on the girl's face, Ganondorf drew his gigantic broadsword. The sides of it were coated in blood.

Royal blood.

"He is now being eternally tormented by how he couldn't protect his daughter!" whined the malevolent man, savouring the taste of the words as he released them, "He should have given me the Ocarina of Time immediately, as should YOU!"

Ganondorf swung his blade down as hard as he could, smashing into the floor and just barely missing Zelda, who slipped around him and ran away as the King of Evil tried to pull his sword up and out of the floor. "Cae fwrn y hollon! CAE FWRN Y DDWRYG HOLLON!"

As soon as he gave that order, every Gerudo in the castle stormed after the princess, who was now heading straight for the ice house. There was only one way in or out. She was trapped. Painfully, sadistically slowly, Ganondorf advanced on her, his sword dripping with blood. Right at that moment, Impa leaped into the scene with a single-edged blade, faking Ganondorf out with it before punching him straight to the floor. "Princess! The window! Quick!" In one quick motion, Impa cut the entire glass pane of a nearby, small window clean out of the frame before taking her and diving out of it as the Gerudo charged. Just before the naginatas were able to draw any blood, both targets vanished from sight. They rolled down awning after awning, Zelda screaming as they went, ripping through one final obstruction and landing on the royal white horse, Regius.

"Go!" ordered Impa, cracking the reigns of the animal. Serious and determined, the horse jetted off down the path and towards the town, an enraged Ganondorf watching with tranquil fury from the broken window.

" **Ryddhau'wr anghenfill.** "

* * *

Link had discreetly slipped out of Zora's Domain, giving the King and everyone else a wide berth. He did NOT want them to know that he was going to marry their prince. Luckily, all had gone well. Ruto had rejoined her father, the King had thanked Link, dubbing him the Hero of the Zoras and Link had awkwardly shuffled his way back out of the cave. He could not breathe again until he had passed through the waterfall back outside to the banks.

"Well, that was weird! I never thought you would join families with a fishy fille!" joked Navi, having picked up some French from the chatting Zora. Link rolled his eyes.

"That wasn't funny!" protested Link. "What will everyone in the forest think? Mido will never let me hear the end of it. Maybe even Saria will make fun of me."

Navi was about to try and be serious and tell Link that a good friend would be accepting of that, but Link was swept from beside her. "Not again!" huffed the fairy, turning red and jetting up after the owl that had taken Link, hopefully not being an unknown second Magna owl who had mistaken Link for a tasty mouse.

"Mr. Owl? What's going on? What's the rush?" asked Link as he felt Kaepora's talons were wrapped around his shoulders much more tightly than usual. He was also panting heavily and his flappers were going like the clappers.

"Ganondorf has started his attack on Hyrule Castle!" puffed Kaepora breathlessly, "We need to get there as fast as possible!"

"Right." Link accepted Kaepora's erratic behaviour as he flew faster than usual, out of Zora's river and over Hyrule Field once more, Navi struggling to catch up.

As Link rose over Hyrule Field, so did smoke over Hyrule Castle. Fire was burning through the palace, reaching out the windows in search of anyone to engulf. Little ants of people in the town all screamed and ran away as a figure on a horse barrelled into fruit stands and fountains, destroying everything in its path.

* * *

 **Rummmmmble!**

The great owl gasped at the sight of storm clouds billowing overhead. Rain started letting loose from them and eventually, thunder began smashing down. "I'm going to have to let you down here, Link!" shouted Kaepora over the sounds of howling winds. "It's getting dangerous up here!"

The bird of prey descended and put Link down just by the closed drawbridge. The boy drew his sword and Deku Shield as Kaepora stood firmly behind him, ready to fight if he needed.

"I've… been here before." said Link quietly, inspecting the familiar surroundings. He was standing in an empty… piece of land. No trees, no forest plants, just short, green grass and annoying torrential rain all around.

"I would hope so!" replied Kaepora, rolling his eyes. "You've met the Princess here, haven't you?"

"No, not that! I know I've been here before, but I'm getting… that feeling where you think you've already experienced a situation. Was that a dream?" shivered Link as he stared at the strange structure ahead of him. His boots began sinking into the ground and water seeped down the back of his neck like the chill of a nearby ghost.

"Brrrrr! What's going on?" chattered the boy as he stepped back a little. The water was now seeping into his boots. He was not dressed for this weather. His charred tunic stopped just above his knees and the sleeves didn't even reach his elbows. Definitely not clothes for temperatures that allowed you to see your breath.

With a rattle of chains, a large board of wood was lowered to the ground like a coffin being laid into the dirt, revealing Castle Town behind it. What stood out most was the galloping white horse.

...Is anyone else getting deja vu?

 **Clippity clop, Clippity clop, Clippity clop, Clippity clop.**

The white horse sped straight at Link, who dived out the way. As he pulled himself up, Link caught a glimpse of the passengers.

Zelda and Impa. Just like every other time Link had seen this scene, Zelda was giving him a deer-in-the-headlights look whilst Impa kept looking straight ahead, serious as ever. Not like every other time, Zelda had something blue and shiny in her hand. Fighting with herself on whether to part with it, she finally lobbed it behind her.

"What's that?" murmured Link, watching the glinting instrument flying through the air towards him. With a loud **KNOCK** , it bounced off his head, forcing him to the floor before it whistled back up and landed in the moat.

 **PLOP!**

Forcing himself back up as Navi finally caught up to him, Link held his head from the impact. Kaepora said nothing, knowing his destiny. His mind was awash. He was hardly attentive when a deep voice yelled out…

" **HEY, YOU!** "

Storming out of the castle, riding a black stallion, was an armoured warrior. A black knight. Black armour and a cloak.

 **GANONDORF.**

His stallion galloped across the drawbridge that had lowered to the floor and skidded to a halt, creating a seismic wave. Instinctively, Link shielded Navi from the blast.

"Tell me, Did you see that white horse that went across the drawbridge? Where did it go?" pressed Ganondorf. He stared at the scrawny child for an answer. As for him, he was completely lost for words. This was playing out exactly as it did in his dreams. Even voices! Well, he didn't have a massive bird backing him up in his dreams.

"You! Do you have any idea how I would know where they went?" Link was able to piece together. This time, fight won over flight and Link drew both his Kokiri Sword and the Deku Shield. "Come at me!"

"Hm… I like your attitude, boy!" smirked the hateful Gerudo knowingly. Without even a wind-up, Link dove at the warlock.

All he did was throw his hand out. All he did was release a fireball about the size of a golf ball.

A fireball hungry for blood.

Young blood.

This time, Link didn't wake up from a bad dream. A potent explosion knocked the boy to the floor where he skidded to a halt several feet back. "Link!" cried Navi, turning that one shade of pink like she had done in the graveyard and flying to her friend's aid. Delayless, Kaepora narrowed his preying eyes, which flashed yellow.

"Demon! You don't belong in this world!" With a grating screech, the great bird of prey leaped into the air, raised both wings and formed a ball of wind. This ball shaped into a cutter, which Kaepora fired at the wizard.

"Childsplay." was the man's flat response. Grabbing the left side of his cloak with his opposite hand, he flicked it. The blade of wind was instantly reflected back at the owl, cleanly hitting him. A pain-stricken shriek forced the owl back into fighting, where it dived head-first at Ganondorf's horse, completely bent on destroying both of them. Ganondorf stood up, reeled back his fist, cloaked it in darkness and lunged.

 **SMAAAAAASH!**

Link could only watch wordlessly from the floor as Kaepora used the momentum from the punch to take off to the skies, where his mentor disappeared. He couldn't speak. He was still winded. He didn't even run to stop Ganondorf when, after the Fairy Ocarina was launched from Ganondorf's attack, the evil king bent down to pick it up, no doubt mistaking it for the blue one Zelda had thrown into the moat. All he could do was angrily clench a fistfull of grass as Navi settled on his shoulder.

"I can't, Great Deku Tree!" whined Link, looking at the pouring rain above him. "With this small body… I'm no match for him! What do I do?"

Finally, his voice broke and, for the first time in what felt like ages, he had a heavy cry into the grass.

It may have just been his imagination or it may have been real, but he heard the Great Deku Tree in his head for a brief moment. He heard his deep voice saying:

" _ **Th're is nay such thing as "I can't.** "_

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place."_


	22. You Are Relieved

Link's lungs erratically grew and shrank as he got up and faced the wrecked town. It was a truly terrible sight. It had gone from a bustling, dream destination to a desolate ghost town. Several buildings had been shattered and bits of their bones were scattered on the road. The once refreshing fountain in the town square was now rusted and dry, as if naturally caused. The whole place looked like it had been hit with blitzkrieg by a monster.

"Impa… Zelda… Where?" Link gurgled, his throat completely dried up from the lingering terror of coming face to face with the King of Evil. It was so dry that his voice made clicking noises as he spoke. His head had also completely fogged up.

"They're gone." replied Navi gently. "So is Ganondorf. We're in the clear."

"She threw the Ocarina of Time, didn't she?"

Navi flew over to the moat where the Princess had pitched the instrument. Because of the holes in the instrument, it was sinking to the floor of the moat fast. "Yes. You'd better get it before Ganondorf realises he got the wrong one."

" _What?"_ Link frantically felt around his pockets for the Fairy Ocarina that Saria had given to him when he left. No bumps, other than the painful one on his side.

Do you know about that mini heart attack you get when you get to lunchtime at work or school, are ready to pay for your food, tap your pockets for your wallet and don't feel it? Well, Link almost had an actual one when the truth hit him. He was experiencing an emotional breakdown. The lights were on, but no one was home. He was like a Blue Screen of Death.

It was gone. Ganondorf had taken it, thinking it was the Ocarina of Time. Saria had saved him once again. Her Ocarina had taken one for the team, stopping Ganondorf from getting his hands on the extra important one.

" _Saria..."_ thought Link, unable to speak from grief. _"I am so sorry."_

Slowly dragging himself up, Link sauntered to the moat, crouched by the side and reached out to the bobbing artefact. In his numb emptiness, he didn't notice that he had leaned too far and gone straight into the water. The cold shock woke him from his trance, allowing him to quickly grab the Ocarina. With a bright white flash that screamed out of the note holes, Link's world disappeared.

* * *

When Link came to, he was sitting on a hard, wooden seat that stretched across. A pew. Looking up, Link could see that he was in the front row of pews in a large church. A giant, Triforce chandelier hung from the ceiling over the church, giving additional illumination to the room. There were thick pillars of white limestone joining seamlessly to the ceiling. Stained glass windows decorating the walls, depicting the three golden goddesses. Several people sat in the pews to the side and behind him, most of which he knew.

The Kokiri, including Saria, Gorons, including Darunia, Zora, including Ruto and the King (Who Link was grateful not to be sitting next to) and the Royal Family, including Impa.

One person was missing, though.

Zelda.

An elderly, hunchbacked woman walked up the centre isle. Wrinkles swam around her face and her tied up hair swished in the non-existent breeze as she waddled up to the centre pedestal of the cathedral, plopping her ample bum down on a velvet red stool in front of a giant pipe organ.

As the giant door with the symbol of a sun rumbled upwards, a girl with blonde, flowing hair, some fancy shoes and a nightdress.

It was Zelda, as Link had first met her.

On the clearing of her throat, the whole church fell silent like a library. Pulling a sheet of paper out from her pocket, she took a deep breath and started reading.

"Link."

Link jumped in his seat upon hearing his name, making the other two jump from his sudden jolt.

"Can you hear me? It's me, Zelda."

Link looked around, confused. He was right by her. How would he not hear? He tried to open his mouth to speak, but it was trapped shut. It was like his lips were fused together.

"Link… When you hold this Ocarina in your hands..." started the princess as her voice broke. Everyone was completely silent. "I won't be around any more."

Link stayed quiet, not that he could do otherwise.

"I wanted to wait for you… but I couldn't delay any longer. For that, I am sorry."

Pulling on his collar, link shuffled on his seat as the princess turned to him.

"At least I could leave you with the Ocarina… and this melody. This song opens the door of time." Raising her hand out, the woman at the pipe organ nodded and began playing.

A very spiritual sounding song rang out of the pipes, the holes serenading Link as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the Ocarina of Time. As he played along to the song, the others attending the service opened their hymn books, rose to their feet and began singing.

 _Time's an illusion._

 _We think it cannot be controlled_

 _but we're all wrong._

 _Lies of our foes_

 _blinded us from the power that_

 _dwells in this song…_

"Now, Link." continued Zelda as the music stopped. "Go to the altar of the temple you are seeing now, insert the three stones you have into the imprints of the tablet, play that song and get the Triforce. Good luck… Hyrule's Hope."

* * *

"Link! Link! LINK! Wake up! Why do you keep passing out today!"

When Link came to, he was laying face down in the grass, Navi flittering over him as she bouncing up and down like a rubber ball.

How had he gotten up there? He somehow doubted that Navi had managed to tow him out of the moat like a flippin' superhero!

"What happened? What did you see?" squeaked Navi as Link pulled himself up. His hands began clawing from the cold as he shook himself dry.

"I need to go to the Temple of Time. Now. Everyone's counting on us." quivered Link. A chill went up his spine as a drip of water fell down his neck like a cold finger.

Or maybe it was the Kaiju-esque roar that erupted from the town square.

Sharing terrified looks, Link and Navi both ran across the drawbridge and into town.

* * *

The source of the roar had come from a monster that Ganondorf had unleashed into the town square. It resembled a great ape with black fur. It sported a pair of empty, red eyes with no pupils. It had a sharp horn on its head, used for powerfully sharp headbutts. Most notably, it had no hands. Instead, sharp scythes stabbed out from its stubby arms.

Wait, I don't remember this guy! Let me look through Zeldapedia quickly…

No, nothing here. Well, this could go either way, then!

The monster did another kaiju roar as it slashed through everything in its path. Its scythes were so sharp, they were chopping down sculptures of stone as if they were made of paper!

Link and Navi ran into the shattered remains of Castle Town where they caught sight of the beast, scythe deep into a soldier's breastplate. It flung him about like a cat playing with a mouse it caught before the man finally dislodged, flying against the wall of a broken building. Blood was pouring out of a hole in his chest and was painted on the monster's scythe as it fixed Link with a twisted grin.

Roaring like a lion, the monstrous primate tore at Link and Navi, its claws clattering against the floor. With a running jump, it planted its claws into where Link once was, but he had long leaped out of the way. Like a flu needle, the boy jabbed the Kokiri Sword into the ape's arm. It roared and screamed, trying its hardest to find the strength to throw Link off of it. Link kept his hold on the handle but in just a few short seconds, the monster threw Link off his blade and to the market floor, the Kokiri Sword still jammed in its arm. Only when it had this opportunity did it place its other scythe under the hilt of the weapon and prise it out.

 **Sscchlick!**

"Link! Watch out!" cried Navi as she picked up the bloody sword to give to Link. She struggled under the weight of it once more, but Link reached out and grabbed it before it could be dropped. "That's Kamakuma! Look out for its sharp scythes! Try to cut them off and you should win!"

"Got it." Link brandished the bloody weapon as the monster weaponed its stained claws. With a shout, Link charged at Kamakuma. With a roar, Kamakuma charged straight at Link. Sweating, pins and needles pranging his face and head, Link met Kamakuma's slash with his own, chopping the monster's scythe clean off. "Yes!"

But it was too early to celebrate. As Link landed behind Kamakuma, it turned to the boy with a feral smile, its blood-covered fangs showing themselves as a new scythe grew back into place almost seamlessly.

"Oh, what?" moaned Link in his exhaustion. It had been a long day. Too long. His energy was quickly leaving him and, despite being in deep danger, he could hardly focus. His eyes kept wondering, his brain kept thinking of other things.

"Never mind that! Keep on carving his cutters until there's nothing left of them!" Navi encouraged. She flared Link into life with her own red, boosting Link off the pot he stood on and away from Kamakuma's slash, which split the pot apart smoothly as silk. The monster continued raking furiously, screaming ear-rippingly loudly as Link leaped over, dodged and ducked for his life. Finally, one scythe knocked the Kokiri Sword out of Link's grasp and it went flying overhead.

"Link! Your sword!" shouted Navi as Kamakuma watched the weapon twirling in the air like a ribbon. As it started coming back down, both opponents leaped after it, Link getting extra height by bouncing up off a wall while Kamakuma just jumped using its own strength. Like two professional footballers leaping up to pass the ball to their team, they got closer and closer to acquiring the weapon. Also like a footballer, Kamakuma used its forearm, shoving Link out the way and grabbing the sword in its mouth. It was about to smash the Kokiri Sword into shards with its powerful jaws, but…

An arrow shot past Link and found purchase in the primate's neck. With a pained roar, it dropped the Kokiri Sword to the floor. Since it didn't have arms and there was no part sticking out of the arrow it could push it thrashed and struggled on the floor as if it were having a siezure.

Quickly thanking whoever shot that arrow, be it a bystander, the Great Deku Tree, Din, Nayru or Farore, Link picked his sword up as Kamakuma snapped the arrow in half and stood up, completely unhinged.

 **BOOOOOOOOM!**

Surprisingly, this was not the monster destroying something or someone. It was Link. More accurately, his weapon. Navi yelped and hid behind him as Link's blade began shimmering green before blasting green sparks and smoke into the air. It was another sword beam. A really powerful one at that. Green fire burst into the air, almost reaching as high as the surrounding ruins. The great monster shielded its eyes with his forearm as Link leaped off the ruins of the fountain.

The Great Deku Tree was giving him another chance. He could not blow it.

Sweat loosening his grip on the sword, his little heart going faster than it had ever gone before, his mind swimming, Link flew up above the monster, reared his weapon behind his head and blasted the projectile off the end.

It sounded like a gun going off next to his ear. The wind roared as the sword beam flew straight at Kamakuma at full force. It was so loud that it replaced Link's hearing with a long ring. It was so powerful that it set the surrounding air on fire as Kamakuma raised its scythes to protect itself...

 **CLANG!**

Not even with a struggle, Kamakuma's scythes flew off from its arms as the sword beam cleaved straight through them.

…

…

…

Awkward silence.

All that could be heard was a confused growl as the beast lowered its arms to find out why its scythes weren't regrowing. As its blank eyes traced the stumps like pen on a paper, it got its answer when it silently fell apart from the sword beam, its two sparkling halves were completely obliterated as a calamitous explosion broke out.

Another explosion? Do these guys replace their blood with nitroglycerin or something?

Surprisingly, Link was not dead. Not even from the explosion. He was just looking off through the blackened, obliterated buildings towards the one that had been left untouched.

The Temple of Time.

The explosion might not have killed him, but it left him severely weakened. His face told hundreds of emotions. Illness, horror, exhaustion, pain, sadness, remaining anger, grief from the loss of Saria's Ocarina and bit of regret for letting Ganondorf destroy Castle Town.

"Fairy boy! Fairy boy!"

Well, passing out would have to wait, because someone was running towards Link as if her own life depended on it. She held a bow, which she had used to distract Kamakuma earlier,

Malon.

"Are you all right?"

Link was about to collapse from exhaustion, but Malon supported him by putting her arms around his waist. Link hardly noticed, for he was too busy looking at the black stain of ash the monster left on the floor. "I'm… fine. I beat the monster." Link replied, finding the strength to stand up for himself. "Unfortunately, the monster beat… him."

With a wobbly, blood-stained finger, Link pointed over at the wounded soldier who lay at the wall, head down, hands limp, hunched over. Even though it was partially covered, Link could remember him from somewhere.

He looked like the kind knight who had guarded both him and Malon while they slept at Lon Lon Ranch.

Zabal Zinzendorff.

"Malon. Him. Let's go." With that, Link, Malon and Navi ran over to the knight to pay him back for protecting them that one point. Despite not having laughed or even smiled at that time, Link felt terrible for even thinking that his name was funny.

"Kids..." wheezed Zabal as Link approached him. Using the hilt of his sword, he smashed the glass container on a charred wall which held a first aid kit. "Are you… the boy from the forest?"

Link gave the soldier a gentle look as he bandaged the stab would on his chest. Even though he knew this was futile, it didn't stop him from trying. "Zabal. Please, save your breath." he started as he wiped a pint of blood onto an absorption cloth. It turned bright red, like what would happen if you dipped a wet paper towel into food dye. "Please don't die. Just hold on a little longer."

"I need to." replied the man as Malon joined in. "I have… one final message that I needed to pass on to you. Do you have… Zelda's artifact? The Ocarina of Time?"

"Yes. Yes I do. What did she want?"

"Hurry…. To the Temple… of Time. Play… the Song of Time and… open the door. You may then rest until you are needed again."

"Is that your message? Do you have anything else to say?" gasped Malon, ramming a cotton bud into some disinfectant and looking frantically for somewhere to apply it. She was in such a rush that she almost knocked Link aside. "Please!"

"That is… all..." Zabal grew more and more weak as time went on. His arms went limp, milky cataracts filled his eyes. Slowly, his face started to whiten with his eyes. He looked like a wraith. He would become one in a minute if action wasn't taken NOW. Right at this very moment. "Sir… May I take leave?"

…

…

…

It was all clear. Nothing Link and Malon were doing was having any effect. This soldier had run his course. He was brown bread.

Understanding, Navi prodded Link in the neck with her elbow. "Just salute him and say he's relieved." she gently ordered. She turned a comforting shade of pink, unlike her unknown shade and her amused shade. "You've done all you could. You really have."

Yes. He had. As had the soldier. If Link wasn't around to hear his message, he would sleep in torment with the King, not knowing whether Link would know to help.

With a slight gasp of regret, Link stood up straight and saluted the soldier. "You're relieved, sir."

"Thank you." Even saying this without pausing was a horrible effort now. With one last convulsing spasm, the soldier passed. His heart stopped, which halted a lot of the bleeding.

"Link! Please! Help!" cried Malon, automatically throwing a bloody, wet sponge straight at Link. It hit him in the face and slid down, covering link in blood. "We're losing him!"

"He's gone." Link solemnly replied. "You did all you could. We did all we could."

"No!" Malon pounded her blood-covered fists against her dress, staining it. "He can't be gone! We need to do something!"

"Malon, just let him go!" joined Navi. "He's fulfilled his purpose."

Seeing nothing else to do, Link gave Malon a hug. She was so upset that she trashed and accidentally hit him, but she calmed down and hugged him back, quietly sobbing into him. Navi floated back for a few moments before she finally joined them.

Now was the time to leave. Time to leave the burning town and get to the Triforce before Ganondorf could come back, realising he got the wrong ocarina.

"Malon, you go back to your ranch." instructed Link as he separated, covered in dried blood. "It is dangerous here and I need to finish my job, as that soldier did."

"Yes… fairy boy. Thank you."

* * *

Despite the battering he gave the town, the Temple of Time stood unaffected of Ganondorf's power-hungry rampage. There it was. If Tintern Abbey was back in its prime, this is what it would look like. A tall, thin church with a steep spire that wound up as high as the flaming castle. It had a giant, circular window above the entrance along with church bells in a tower at the top. How come Ganondorf had left this place?

"The Door Of Time..." mused Navi, trailing behind Link's shoulder as he stepped in through the grand entrance. Pews lined the room in front of a long stone tablet, imprinted with golden holes for the Spiritual Stones. A giant pipe organ sat on the stage of the cathedral. It had clearly not been used in weeks because spiders had spun webs around the holes for the notes to come out of.

"Wait a minute..." Link walked across the thought-provoking, chequerboard floor got up onto the stage and pressed a key on the organ.

 **Eeeeeeeeeeeee….**

Dust and webs flew out of the pipe. Looking at the keys closely, Link noticed that they had letters from A to G, starting from C. Taking out the Ocarina of Time, Link remembered his vision of the church meeting with Zelda and placed it up on the dusty, bare side of the organ for reference. Cracking his knuckles, he began to play the Song of Time on the organ. No doubt about it, this was where he had his vision.

"Link, come and look at these holes in the tablet." said Navi as she hovered over the stone tablet. As Link came over, he noticed that the three holes in the tablet… were shaped exactly like the Spiritual Stones.

The one on the far left was shaped like a lowercase "a" for the Kokiri Emerald. The middle one was shaped like a V for the Goron Ruby. The last was shaped like a curly "M" for…

Link's engagement ring.

Even though the proposal was accidental, Link felt horrible about just… leaving it here. He did want it for this purpose, but still. He felt like a traitor. Just like Ganondorf.

Thinking of his rage of being tricked with the Fairy Ocarina, Link was quick to put the Kokiri Emerald in its hole, as well as the Goron Ruby and finally…

the Zora's Sapphire.

 **Click.**

 **Rummmmble!**

With a moan and a groan, the Door of Time slid open by the tiniest margin. He still had one thing left to do to get it to open all the way.

Taking out the smooth Ocarina of Time, he inserted the mouthpiece…

 **Pheee…**

 **Eeeeee!**

"Argh!"

The second Link had played a note, a key on the organ had pressed itself down, as if the ghost of Zabal Zinzendorff had come back to help. Confused, Link played a completely different note…

 **Phaaaaa…**

 **Aaaaaaa…**

...before he finally played the Song of Time in full. The organ played as Link rung out the melody, Navi performing a sombre, flying dance as the duo played. As the song rose more and more, so did the Door of Time, dropping dust and webs down from the gaps as it got higher and higher. When it finally clicked at the top, Link stopped playing.

Awakening from thousands and thousands of years of rest, something shone through the light of a window in the chamber past the door.

"Link..." whispered Navi. She followed her partner as he was drawn through the door to the object like a moth to a light. "Could that be?"

"What?"

"The Legendary Blade! The Blade of Evil's Bane! The Master Sword!"

Link furrowed his brow, looking at the sword ahead of him. It was MUCH longer than the Kokiri Sword, and it was pressed upside down into a pedestal. It was surrounded by a holy altar, similar to Jabu Jabu's. "What's that? I don't remember being told about the Master Sword."

"EVERY fairy knows about the Master Sword!" replied Navi as she traced herself around the hilt, turning light blue, star struck. "It is a living sword, created by an ethereal, robotic woman, only to be stolen by Kamakuma. Eventually, it was reclaimed by Farore, who locked it in the Temple of Time once more before departing."

Link stepped into the sanctum of the sword and onto its altar. "Well, it's a good thing that I messed with that monkey before coming here. He would have stolen it again."

Navi squeaked. "Well, no. Kamakuma obviously didn't have a perfect heart. To pull the Master Sword out of its pedestal, you must have one."

"How do you know I have one?"

"Do you remember what Saria said to you before I met you? When you were injured and in bed?"

Link's mind began swimming. Swimming through a cesspool of terrors that he had experienced. It took a lot of strength, but he remembered what Saria told him back after Gohma hit him with an acid bomb. When Link had put himself down. When she had stood up against him and for him.

" _You've been good as gold for your entire life! Not even I could say that!"_

"How did you know that?" Link pressed as he looked at Navi with big, questioning eyes. Her only response was to perch on her companion's head and echo back to Saria once more.

"Link… Friends always know."

"Thank you, Navi. Now, let's see if I'm the right one for this sword."

Link closed his fingers around the hilt of the blade and tugged it upwards. With little to no resistance, the sword began to come loose from the little slit it called home for the first time in centuries. "Yes! It's working!"

Light began bleeding further and further out of the hole, the metal singing pleasantly against the pedestal. When it came completely free, it all came blasting out at once, swallowing the two in a blinding flash to the perilous path that lead to the Sacred Realm.

Link wasn't sure of it, but he thought he could just briefly make out a big, bulky figure standing in the doorway as he vanished.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Everybody's got problems. The world's full of problems."_


	23. Pure White

White.

Just… pure white. Link was drifting in a void of pure white.

Nothing else, just pure white. It felt like he was walking a dog an empty neighbourhood in a very thick fog. He was all on his own.

" **Hey, you!** "

Snapping up into life, Link tried to look at whoever was approaching him.

A big bull of a man, clad in clattering black armour was stomping through the air towards him, furiously holding the Fairy Ocarina in his gauntleted hand.

"Ganondorf! What are you doing here?"

With a feral laugh, the malevolent man stopped in front of him, leaning over the spaced-out boy. "You did me a solid, kid." crooned Ganondorf. Somehow, it would have been better if he had screamed that at the top of his lungs. "As I thought, you held the keys to the Door of Time!"

Link was about to open his mouth to speak, but Ganondorf's hand on the hilt of his broadsword turned his lips to stone.

"You have taken me straight to the gates of the Sacred Realm." Ganondorf cackled, thrusting his sword proudly into the air like he'd won an entire war. "Yes! I owe it ALL to you, kid!"

"What?"

"Don't you see? Once the Door of Time is open, it's open! TO EVERYONE! And you can't do a thing about it!"

Link tried to chase after the wild warlock, but nothing happened. He just ran on the spot. It was like he was on a treadmill.

"Oh! And this blasted ocarina! You thought you could trick me with this wooden piece of sawdust!" roared Ganondorf as he raised the Fairy Ocarina of Saria's between his thumb and his finger. He was speaking and acting as if he was a teacher whose student put an air horn under the toilet seat.

"Sawdust? How dare you! My friend gave me that! It is not sawdust!"

"It is now!"

Thoroughly enjoying the look of mixed torture, shock, rage and sadness on the boy's face, Ganondorf crushed the wooden instrument into sawdust with his hand before dumping the remains to the white floor and stomping on the ashes.

* * *

"Link!"

Pure white.

"Awaken!"

Still pure white.

"Link! The time has come for you to awaken!"

Blue. Deep blue.

The Hero of Time's rest had ended. He was needed. Except… he didn't remember even taking a rest. He only remembered drawing the Master Sword and then being knocked out by a flash of light.

The deep blue in the room was coming from fresh water. He was standing on a small dais… in the middle of a platform. Where was this platform? Well, even I don't know! The water was gently ebbing out from the edges of this dais where it flowed off the edges. There were seven pedestals surrounded him, each of them was a different colour. Each of them wore a different pattern. Why was there no description for the walls? Well, there, quite simply, weren't any. Just crystal clear waterfalls all around. It was like being down the plughole of a sink while the water was on.

One detail stood out most, however. Literally. A corpulent man was standing on one of the seven outside pedestals, dressed in a brown, striped robe with red, leather armour. His head was bald, but he had an abundance of hair around the side of his head, making it look like he was so tall that he'd grown right through his hair. He had a comb moustache that had not a hint of dust or debris in it, but he had two sideburns that stuck upwards rather than down, making him look like an owl, but with some places covered in a light dusting of snow.

"Link, calm down. Just one moment. Stay silent and Let me explain everything to you." said the man, raising his sleeved hands. His voice was deep, yet rather refined, like a nice golfer you would have over for a cuppa. "I am Rauru. One of the ancient sages. Ages ago, we sages built the Temple of Time to house the Master Sword after it was stolen by the great beast, Kamakuma, as well as to protect the Sacred Realm. This is our chamber… the Chamber of Sages. The Temple of Light… situated in the middle of the Sacred Realm, is the last stronghold against Ganondorf's forces."

Link was paying attention and all, but something was scuttling around his mind. He just couldn't pin it down. What was different? He was getting that feeling of when you're looking something up, get distracted, then come back and completely forget what it was you were looking up.

"Don't be alarmed, Link!" laughed the man, clearly seeing his disorientation. "Just take a look at yourself!"

Still not having said a word, Link looked down and nearly passed out. He pinched his arm, but… not only did he not wake up, he also had a white, flexible shirt on underneath, as well as trousers of the same kind. Before he pulled the Master Sword, his arms and legs were bare.

" _I don't remember having a white shirt on underneath this tunic!"_ he thought, inspecting and pulling on the fabric. His hands were also no longer naked. Now, they wore leather gauntlets.

"What… what on earth? My… clothes… My height… my voice?" Link's voice had also gone from a chipper, young child to a zombie who woke up on the wrong side of the coffin. "Am I an adult?"

"Nearly." admitted Rauru, wobbling his hand left and right. "Seventeen."

"Let's see… I was ten when I pulled that sword so…" Link mumbled, now a late teen. "Wait, what's happened over the last seven years? I just let Ganondorf into the… Oh, bum!"

"You have been asleep for the past seven years." repeated Rauru, "And now that you are old enough, the time has come for you to awaken as the Hero of Time!"

"Sorry, just one question." interrupted Link, inspecting other articles of his clothing for changes. The only thing he noticed was that his boots were less wrinkly. "How did Ganondorf get into the Sacred Realm? I thought that you had to… get the Master Sword or something."

"Well… even though the Door of Time was opened in the name of piece… Ganondorf had planned for you to do that all along. He used that door to enter the Sacred Realm."

"No!"

"Unfortunately, yes." said Rauru seamlessly as Link recoiled. What had he done? Was this the only plain of existence left? Is that why he was here? "In there, he claimed the top portion of the Triforce, the Triforce of Power, and added 'Power' to his title. He is now the King of Evil and Power."

Link felt dizzy. He felt nauseous. He wanted to wake up from a bad nightmare more than ever now. "Please tell me it's not true." he begged as he sank to the floor like a stone, "Say it's just a dream!"

"His evil power radiated from the temples of Hyrule, and in seven short years, it transformed Hyrule into a world of monsters." explained Rauru. Immediately, he delved into a speech. "My power now has only little influence, even in this Sacred Realm… Namely, this Chamber of Sages. But there is still hope... The power of the Sages remains. When the power of all the Sages is awakened... The Sages' Seals will contain all the evil power in the void of the Realm… I, Rauru, am one of the Sages... And... Your power to fight together with the Sages makes you the Hero of Time! The Hero of Time, chosen by the Master Sword!"

"Who are these other sages?"

"They hide among your people, thinking they are ordinary residents. Take my golden keepsake, collect the technicolour keepsakes of the sages and revert the world back into its normal state!"

"Golden keepsake?" repeated Link, "Technicolour keepsakes? What are they?"

Silent, with a gesture of reaching up to the heavens, Rauru lifted his robed arms into the air, summoning a sheen from the void of black. It sliced Link's vision and the air as it plunged towards him. Before it could knock him unconscious, he reached his hands up to grab it.

 **Clang!**

The impact numbed his fingers instantly. A giant, round coin about the size of a biscuit. It had a pattern painstakingly carved onto it, as if it were Japanese manhole cover. A pattern of light smiting a dark monster.

"Take that, the Light Medallion, and collect all the others. I shall await your successful return!" boomed Rauru, already sounding as if Link had won. Slowly, he outstretched his limbs and began fading away into light.

"Wait! I don't know what I have to-" Link tried to protest, but he too was being blinded by the light. Rauru was silent as Link was surrounded by a falling sensation.

A psychedelic pattern of black curls and white walls enveloped him and soon, he was falling through an endless tunnel of deep blue before he gently plopped down on the floor…

back in the Temple of Time.

Navi was waiting for him, tiredly flapping around beside the Master Sword's pedestal. Speaking of the Master Sword, Link was now much taller. He could hold the weapon like his younger self could hold the Kokiri Sword. One thing, though: It had much more range. He also had the Hylian Shield strapped to his back, able to be wielded like Link's old Deku Shield. The era of the Tortoise of Time was over.

"Link? Where are we?" gurgled Navi, still pretty groggy. It was obvious that she had just woken up at that moment. "What happened to you?!"

"Seven… years have passed." Link explained. His new, deeper voice startled him again. He had not quite expected this turn of events. "Something put us into a coma over those years. I am… now close to an adult."

"I can tell!" Navi took a long look at her partner's new look. He looked a lot more mature, but also pretty deadpan. He had a natural thousand-yard stare on his face. On the bright side, his hair was a lot neater and he looked like a more intimidating warrior. "But… what did we need to come to the future for?"

 **SHINNNNG!**

It took a while for Link to notice, but someone behind him had taken a single-edged sword from a small sheathe and was holding it in front of his neck. Clunkily, Link took the Master Sword from its sheathe and awkwardly swung it behind him, too late to catch whoever had attacked. They had vanished.

"Your reactions lack haste. That will need some indoctrination."

Link and Navi whirled back round to discover a boy, no older than Link's current shape, clinging to the wall above the Door of Time. He was looking straight at Link and Navi with red eyes peering from a towel turban. Blonde hair covered the rest of his face. Form-fitting spandex showed that he had a rather muscular physique. He wore a pair of eastern shoes that were built into his sneaking suit, split down the middle with a plastic thong. From how he stuck to the wall and how he was dressed, he looked like a Japanese Spiderman, with a little bit of a middle-eastern look to him.

"Who are you? What was that for?" nagged Navi, turning red and bouncing about in mid air. Link was silent, but he put his weapons away. Something about this person reminded him of Impa.

"Are… you… Are you-?" Link was able to piece together. He was about to say 'Impa' but the boy seemed to see this coming from a mile.

"-A Sheikah. Just like lady Impa, I am a Sheikah. One of the last of our kind." The lad spoke with a rather strange voice. It sounded rather masculine, but feminine at the same time, as if he was trying to throw the pitch of his voice downwards. "My name is Sheik. derived from the Arabic word Sheikh, meaning 'king' or 'ruler'."

Link discreetly noted the emblem that painted the front of the ninja's sneaking suit. A red eye, the sclera blank, with a red pupil. It appeared to be upset over something, because a small, red drop was leaking down from the bottom. "How do I know you're not an ally of Ganondorf?"

Sheik did not get angry. He did not even flinch. "If I were with him, you would be knocked out instantly and be at the doorstep of his tower in seconds. Since you are still in the Temple of Time, it would be wise to trust me."

Link glanced at Navi, who did the same. "So, what is my objective?" he asked Sheik, who had now twisted himself "Why am I in the future?"

Sheik signalled to the door that led out of the temple. "When evil rules all, an awakening voice from the Sacred Realm will call to those destined to become sages, those who dwell in the five temples."

"But..." chimed in Navi, her thoughtful green. "do the sages live in these temples or something else?"

"The sages are bound to the temples with their souls. Even if they do not live in them, even if they do not KNOW them, they are destined to awaken as sages in that temple. It is your job to awaken all of the remaining six sages. One resides in a deep forest, one roosts on a high mountain, one swims under a vast lake, one hides in the house of the dead, one winds through the Goddess of the Sand."

"I think I get it." Link mused, scratching the small beard that was beginning to grow on his chin, "Which one do I tackle first?"

"None of them."

"What?"

"You do not yet have any means of entering the first temple. If you believe what I am saying, you should head to Kakariko Village, one of the few safe havens left in the world, and meet back up with its hunchback. Do you understand?"

"I think."

"All right. Good luck to you, Link. Keep in mind, you may be physically seventeen, but your mind is still ten. Do not let your age get to your head." With that, Sheik nodded before climbing up the wall like a spider monkey and disappearing off into the darkness above.

* * *

The World's End.

Because it would have been rather insensitive to keep that name with all that had happened over the last few years, it had been renamed. Its brand new name was… The Thirsty Ferret.

"I saw him! I SAW HIM! Just yesterday, so I did! A ghost! The ghost of Dampé!" shouted one particularly shaken and stirred customer. All that he got was a chorus of laughs.

"The ghost of Dampé?" cackled the customer's identical twin, thumping his metal mug on the counter and spilling Parched Partridge everywhere, "What have I told you? The codger passed away from a terminal illness years ago! If he did have a ghost, it would have long moved on by now!"

"But… I SAW HIM! He was sinking into his grave, holding some kind of… THING!"

"What thing?" grumbled the new, more grumpy, bartender. "How are we meant to know what he had if ya can't even tell us what it is?"

"It was… like a fishing tool! It was metal with a handle… a button… and a straight hook on the end! I swear you would use it to catch fish!"

"Well, your bait isn't working on us, mister!" cackled his brother, almost cracking the counter with his mug slam, "Don't expect us to take you seriously without some sort of proof!"

"Right, that's it! I'll go out and sketch him!"

With that, the paranoid patron grabbed a clipboard and paper along with a sketching pencil before running out into the humid village.

* * *

 **Creeeeeeeeak…**

Link shoved the unhurt doors of the Temple of Time open and out into…

...what was left of Castle Town.

It looked like less of a town and more of a dump. It was already in bad shape when Kamakuma was loose in it, but it looked even worse in the future.

"Oh..." Link's heart dropped like a stone. Like back in the Chamber of Sages, he began to feel dizzy and physically sick again. He believed his eyes as much as he believed in himself at this point in time. As he stepped out of the path to the Temple of Time, the ruins became worse. There were masses of little rock balls over the floor. Snapped support beams lay like trampled bones among the wreckage. The buildings had all been turned to walls, the contents completely annihilated. There was still a massive mark of ash on the floor from Kamakuma's fulmination. The worst damage by far was… nothing.

Everywhere was the worst.

" _Ganondorf..."_ thought Link as he neared blacking out from dread, _"What did these people ever do to you?"_

"Come on, Link." droned Navi, sounding comfortingly serious. "We should do as Sheik said."

That sounded good at this time. Almost getting lost in the unrecognisable state of Castle Town, Link finally found the way out.

Unbeknownst to him, a monster had begun to follow. A mummy-like shell of a former soldier, covered in bloodied bandages. Most of his flesh had rotted away, leaving his empty ribcage visible. Several of his teeth were missing, the others black and yellow. He bore no eyes, only deep, endless cavities where they should have been.

Slowly, he let out a long groan, raised a discarded scythe that had been severed seven years ago and began ambling after Link.

Very slowly.

In fact, by the time Link had gotten near the exit to the ruins, the mummy had travelled about two feet.

Yeah. I don't think this guy is going to be a threat, so lets move on.

* * *

Hyrule Field.

The drawbridge to the castle had been snapped clean in two, with both halves dipping into the muddy moat below. Not even taking the time to survey the damage, Link ran over the mossy bridge across the now dry river. The first time he was here, he was going wild. He still was seven years later, but for all the wrong reasons.

Finally, he came across the entrance to Kakariko Village. Despite the absolute state of Castle Town, this place looked relatively unharmed, other than erosion on the steps and the surrounding walls or rock.

"Link?" squeaked Navi as she perched on Link's head, much higher up than usual.

"Yes?"

"Do you think Sheik was telling the truth back in the Temple of Time? Apparently, Kakariko Village is… one of the only safe places left?"

"Well… there's only one way to find out."

Finally, Link started to ascend the crumbling steps, Navi turning white with dreaded anticipation.

* * *

" **Right then...** "

Ganondorf Dragmire, the Great King of Evil and Power, sat on his black granite throne. He was at the very top of what used to be Hyrule Castle. How was it different?

Well, there were no courtyards for a start. Just a barren wasteland of bones, streaks of blood, dust, jagged rocks and smashed wrought-iron fences.

Secondly, it was no longer a castle. Now it was a tower made of black granite. A dark halo of smoke circled the top of it, just like the once-innocent ring on Death Mountain.

Hyrule Castle had flirted with the dark side to become:

 **GANON'S TOWER.**

The manic monarch was reading through a thick, leather book, titled: " **ARCHABEON** ", which was a guide on monsters and the sacrifices needed to make them.

" **Where should I start with this? If that so-called 'hero' wakes up on exactly this day, where would he most likely go?** "

Flipping through the pages, he lingered on a few choices, skipping the monsters that had been crossed out due to their demise. " **Gohma? Rest in pieces! King Dodongo? Well, he went out with a bang. Barinade? Performance was shocking. Kamakuma? He had to split. Phantom Ganon, banished to- wait a minute!** "

As he almost wrote off a monster as being dead, he quickly realised that he hadn't used this one yet. " **This one looks promising! I shall sacrifice for it and send it straight to the home of that 'hero'. Now, what do I need?** "

Tracing his long finger down to the footnotes of the page, he finally settled on the part that listed his sacrifices:

 _One soul of innocence._

" **I think I have just the monster for harvesting an innocent soul. Reisu! Come here right now!** "

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

" _Happiness is not something that you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present."_


	24. Sizzling Bottom

The Lost Woods.

A game of Lost Tag had been set up in the woods, just to keep up spirits. The Kokiri hadn't seen Link in seven years and, as much as they all didn't want to admit it, they wanted him back in the forest. They were all willing to accept him as a Kokiri.

Wait, is Mido still here? Well, MOSTLY all willing.

One of these Kokiri, the one that comforted Link after the passing of his guardian, had gotten lost in the woods, but not in a traditional way in that she would just go straight back to the village. She was just getting very unlucky and taking the correct paths every time without realising it.

"Hello?" called the terrified Kokiri through the endless, webbed trees. The sand below her had turned a soggy brown after all the years that passed. It crunched like snow underfoot. The girl struggled to avoid tripping over roots of ivy that grew in the cracks of the sand. "Is anyone there? I can't get out of this place!"

 **RUSTLE… RUSTLE…**

Behind her, a dead holly bush started to rattle like a funeral bell. A cold chill stung the air, making the girl quiver briefly. Her red fairy pinged out from her flowing hair. "Is someone there?" whispered the fairy, "We forfeit! Just help us out of here!"

 **RUSTLE… RUSTLE…**

Before she could even turn around, a man came screaming like a feral wolverine towards her, wielding a massive broadsword. Before her fairy could even react, a monster hissed out of the quivering hollies. A shell of purple and blue cloth made it up, with thin, skeletal arms and white, glowing eyes peering out of the inside. It wielded a jagged scythe, glowing with dark, blood red, burning energy.

Ganondorf Dragmire cornered the two between him and the ghostly monster. Without even the time to scream, the girl and her fairy were struck by sword as it was driven to the ground like a guillotine.

Ganondorf had an innocent soul for the taking. As his victim died out on the floor, fairyless, Ganondorf sheathed his bleeding blade with a twisted grin and a stare that would have sent the sun running. " **Any last words for me, my monster?** "

The girl was silent. This man was getting no satisfaction by having her plea for her life.

" **Come on! Spit it out!** "

Her dilating eyes narrowing, the Kokiri spat a mouthful of blood into the man's face. Ganondorf flinched and scrunched his eyes shut in disgust as blood covered his countenance.

" **That does it. Reisu, reap her. Now.** "

Silently, the ghostly monster raised its scythe and swung it, a trail of magic slashing the air behind it as it went. On contact, the girl vanished into wispy, light blue smoke, replaced with the blue flame that was her soul. Reisu cupped the flame in his bony hand, his eyes narrowing in glee.

" **Right. Let us go back and make that monster! Phantom Ganon will make sure NO sage gets into this temple! Not ever!** "

* * *

Kakariko Village. Not a lot had changed over the last seven years. Other than the name of the pub, everything was very familiar. The wishing well was a little eroded and its colour had faded, the roof tiles of houses were now a little lopsided but everything else almost identical to the nicer times.

Only now, the weather was permanently cloudy. Cloudy, but not rainy.

"Sheik said that we should find something to help us into the first temple here." mumbled Navi, shimmering her thoughtful green colour. "Where do we start looking?"

"The pub?" Link suggested, scratching the growing hairs on his chin, "That's where I got my last bit of information. I don't think it'll let me down."

"That's a good idea, but… I can't see it anywhere!"

"What?" Link swung his head to where the pub used to be. The building was still there, but it had been completely remade. The pub had moved locations.

Pungent, purple smoke squeezed out the shutters on the windows and the sign had now been changed to a painting of a test tube. Either this was a new shop or the bartender had thrown all his talent right out the window.

"What in the world happened to the World's End?"

* * *

 **EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE…**

The old, rotten door squealed as Link cracked it open and walked inside. The sounds of bubbling liquid filled his ears, as it had seven years ago, but the entire building was completely different. The walls were white-bricked and the floor was dark oak wood planked. Two long desks ran up the length of the room, effectively creating a hallway. On both desks, there was:

\- A purple incense burner that gave the place a nice, Indian scent.

\- A crystal ball, hopefully housing tomorrow's lottery numbers.

\- Some crystal ore mounted on a wood stand, the former freshly mined from Dodongo's Cavern.

\- An egg timer for timing when a potion is cooking.

\- A mortar and pestle set for grinding up ingredients.

\- A little treasure chest for storing the ingredients.

\- An instruction book on how to make potions, coupled with a quill and inkwell.

\- Some candles for light

\- A little bonsai tree.

"Ah, a customer?" cracked an elderly voice from behind the right counter.

Link and Navi both looked over as a hunchbacked lady swivelled around in her chair and- My goodness, what on earth is that?

She looked human, but what human had green skin? Wrinkles were swimming on her forehead and tangled, black hair ran down her head. Her long nose held a pimple the size of an apple. Link very nearly drew the Master Sword thinking it was a monster but he quickly suppressed the itch to do so.

"Who are you? What is this place? What happened to the World's End?" gibbered Navi. She flew around the room inspecting every nook and cranny for any trace of the pub.

Nothing. This place was completely different.

"Da boozer 'as moved to anudder building." replied the… owner. "I bought dis building five years ago. Welcome to de apothecary."

"The apothecary?" Link and Navi both exchanged glances as they looked around the room. The desk the lady was sitting at carried several brightly coloured liquids, bubbling like some squash that had a whole block of sugar emptied into it.

"Da potion shop. I sell potions. Da name's Grimhild. Dis is Glinder." With that, the lady pulled a thin, black cat up from her knee and onto the desk. "Wot can I do ya for?" crackled Grimhild, waving her hand over the hissing vats.

"I was looking for the pub as the patrons seem to know a lot, but now that I'm here…" started Link looking around the building. A tapestry of some farmers seemed to catch his eye.

"Yes? Maybe I can help wiv dat."

"I was told to come here by a strange ninja person. Apparently, I need to be here so I can… advance. What did she mean by that?"

Grimhild's bloodshot, green eyes opened up with recognition. "Ah! I know! Wot you need iz a sip of a Ysbrydoliaeth potion!"

"A what?" Navi squeaked, flashing jarring colours in confusion. "What kind of language is that?"

"It means 'Inspiration'." translated Grimhild. "One sip of it and it will force yer brain into knowing all that ya desire!"

"Really? How much?"

"Fifty rupees. Dey are really hard to make in dis day an' age. I hope ya understand."

With a small sigh of regret, Link reached into his bag and pulled out a purple rupee for the lady. He didn't know if he was being scammed, but there was only one way to find out.

"Excellent. Take a serving."

Reaching for the scratched bottle that held Ganondorf's fake letter, Link undid the restraint he had put on it and popped the cork out. As Grimhild pointed to a pink vat, he scooped up a serving. "Bottoms up!"

Wincing from the smell, Link downed the entire potion at once. The taste was… strange, to say the least. It felt like drinking a glass of cold water right after chewing minty gum. COLD.

Before he could recoil, his brain whirred like a computer. It was pumped so full of information that he almost forgot who he was.

"Link?" chirped Navi as Link's eyes slid shut. Her partner stood there for a while, still as a statue. Concerned, the fairy looked towards the old lady at the counter, who just gave her a knowing nod. "What have you done to him?"

"Don't worry yer little 'ead pixie. T's normal behaviour, dis." replied Grimhild. Glinder the cat yawned before coughing up a hairball. "E's just gettin' da information. Dis always 'appens."

As Navi turned back around nervously, Link's eyes flew open. His fingers slipped from around the bottle. "The graveyard." he muttered, nervously reaching down and picking up his bottle. He swiftly turned to face Navi. "We need to get to the graveyard as soon as possible! Something's happened to Dampé!"

Not even waiting for Navi to respond, Link battered out the door and back into the old village, almost blasting it off its hinges. After a delay of thought, Navi gasped and flittered out after him through the mail slot.

"Kids today..." muttered Grimhild, placing Glinder back in her basked below the desk. "Always rushing things..."

* * *

Seven years ago, Link had made friends with Dampé the gravekeeper. Even though he sounded like a blob monster and looked even worse, he had a big heart and helped Link out of a horrible fate. When Link drank the… whatsit potion, he had received a quick message.

"Dampé danger."

That was it. That's all she wrote. Disturbingly short. Disturbingly empty.

"Dampé! Dampé! Where are you?" puffed Link, slowing down to a speedwalk as he entered the cemetary.

The graves had all eroded and gathered moss overtime. The inscriptions were now barely readable due to all the plant life grappling it.

Dampé's shack stood in its usual spot, the wood beginning to rot in some places. Looking in through the grimy window…

Dampé was gone.

"Dampé, where are you?" Link opened the weak door and ran inside, closing it behind him to keep the winds out.

True to what he saw, Dampé had disappeared.

All that was left was the cheap bed Link had woken up in, the rusty kettle on the desk beside it, an hourglass, a candle, a pen and…

a diary. An open diary was spread open on the desk like a dead butterfly, intentionally flipped to an uneven page as if intended to be read.

"Link, what did you see? What are we doing here?" Navi flew through the mail slot, struggling to keep up with her partner as he leaned over the open diary on the desk.

"To whom it may concern..." muttered Link as he read the messy handwriting on the paper. It looked like it had been hastily written with a fountain pen. "Whoever reads my diary, please come to… my grave."

Upon realising that this meant the old gravekeeper had passed, Link hung his head down in shame. He had never said thank you for saving his life back when he was a child. He felt absolutely terrible. "We've… lost him." he sighed, shaking his head, "And I never got to thank him for anything. Just five minutes would have been enough. More than enough."

"Link… What does the rest say?" asked Navi, turning a sympathetic light pink. "Why does he want people to come to his grave?"

"That's a good point, actually." Link raised his head and continued reading. "In my tomb, I shall show you the way to my… stretching… shrinking… keepsake? What in the world?" The teen stepped back against the weak, wooded wall. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"An accordion of some sort?"

"How would that help with getting into a temple?"

Navi sighed and looked out the dirty window at the mass of graves. "Something is unlike when we last came here… but I just can't place it."

Her friend joined her at the glass. Still not used to his new body, he ended up leaning so hard that he cracked the window. After briefly checking himself for cuts, he looked across the burial grounds, his eyes stopping at where the Royal Family's Tomb used to be.

Another gravestone stood in its place, much more simple than the rather extravagant headstone used for the Royal Family. Had it been repaired or…

"Could that be it?" Link mused, taking a step towards the door. With a light push, he cracked it open.

"You seriously aren't going to go looking for it, are you?"

Without any answer, Link pushed the door all the way open as it fell off its hinges and walked out into the graveyard.

"Link? Oh dear..."

* * *

Navi flew to catch up with Link as he knelt down by the new grave at the end of the garden. He brushed away the flora covering up the inscription.

* * *

 **Dampé Bernard**

 **Gravekeeper**

 **Age: 0-98**

" **I've been waiting for you, Link."**

* * *

Upon seeing his name on the gravestone, Link recoiled like a compressed spring. "Navi, come and look at this! My name! My name is on this grave!"

Panting heavily, Link looked at his name on the chipped gravestone, blinking rapidly to see if this was just brain pulling a prank. As with everything else he had thought was a trick, this was no fake. His name had been clearly carved onto Dampé's grave. Navi flew in closer to scrutinise the inscription, just in case it said something like Lick or Rink, but her partner was right.

"Maybe this was meant for… you, Link." said the fairy gently, landing on Link's arm. The teen scratched his face fuzz and continued staring at the stone.

Suddenly, the grave started to vibrate as the Royal Family's Tomb did before it exploded. With a surprised yelp, Link backed away against a wood fence. Last time he stood near the ticking time bomb that was the Royal Family's Tomb, nothing good came of it. There was no way he was going to fall for the same trick twice.

 **RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE…**

"Didn't expect all this racket out here!"

As the gravestone juddered backwards across the ground, a man rose into the air out of the hole that the grave covered.

His voice was slurred and his face looked like one half had a gallon of air pumped into it. He wore tatty, brown robes and carried a dusty lantern.

"Dampé!" panted Link, his face going white as a sheet. "Are you all right?"

"Regrettably not." Dampé slurred, rattling his lantern. "As you can see, I have kicked the bucket. Popped my clogs. Diseases. You don't know how it is."

"What did you want from me?" asked Link, still in disbelief that Dampé was gone, "How did you know my name?"

"Your fairy…" garbled the ghostly gravekeeper, pointing straight at Navi. The sudden attention made the girl spring up.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You said his name back in my shack seven years ago. When you woke up after your little… incident back in the Royal Family's Tomb. I've remembered that name. Link. Your name is Link. And I've been waiting for you."

"I noticed. What did you want from me?"

Dampé threw his head back and laughed loudly, much to Link's confusion. "I've been waiting long for this moment! Before becoming a kelpie, I came up with a late stage breakthrough." stammered the spectre, his lantern clanging back and forth. "As I was living my new life down in my tomb, I was visited by… an ethereal woman in a white robe. She said that, in good time, you would come down here and I must be prepared to bestow it upon you."

Navi hesitated before flying out towards Dampé, a curious shade of grey. "But what did you invent? Where is it?"

"Down this hole, so it is!" laughed Dampé's ghost. Before Navi or Link could protest, the ghost had sank back down into his grave, his rattling laugh bouncing off the walls.

"Hey, wait!" As Navi hesitated, Link leaped down the hole after Dampé, skidding down the walls and into deep darkness.

* * *

As the teen slid down the dirt, his surroundings slowly turned into pieces of stone. Small tiles, some beige, some blue. The blue ones swirled around in circles as he slid down, making for a dizzying pattern.

Down, down, down. Would it ever come to an end? Down and down he spun, travelling faster and faster as he neared the ground. Link had never been on a waterslide. The closest things he had done were sliding down that skeleton in Dodongo's Cavern and… he'd rather not think of the next one. Both of these involved him being eaten, so Link was dreading that there was some sort of monster down there with his mouth against the exit. For a moment, the sensation of travelling so fast on his bum was kind of entertaining. As there was no water, though, his bottom became hotter and hotter as it bumped along the mosaic. Then, without warning, the ride finished and Link splashed into a pool of water. His sizzling bottom now cooling, Link swam to the surface.

He was floating around in a swimming pool, strangely. _"What's this doing down here?"_ he thought, gandering at the walls surrounding the water.

Fish. Paintings of tuna, mackerel, red snappers and more wobbled on the walls of the pool. Interestingly, a basking shark had been painted near the hole Link had just come out of in a way that made it look like it was its gaping mouth.

The blue light that was Navi suddenly rose to the surface. She coughed and spluttered as she spat out drops of water, which was like a pint to regular humans. Link swiftly swam over to the light, caught the floating fairy in his hand and placed her on the side of the pool, heaving himself up with her. "Are you all right, Navi?"

The fairy turned a relieved blue-green colour and aired out her wings. "I'll live. Where are we? Is this-"

"This is my grave, chuck!"

Brushing his wet hair out of his eyes, Link opened them to Dampé's ghost again. He floated smugly in front of him, jiggling his lantern. "Come on! Follow me! Maybe then, you'll be able to find my treasure!"

"Wait!" cried Link as Dampé started drifting away, chuckling as he went. "What kind of grave is this?"

Dampé didn't even answer Link's question as he faded into tiny grains of dust, leaving Link with a jumbled message.

"Make sure you don't stand on my statue's hand!"

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Death never takes a wise man by surprise; he is always ready to go._ _"_


	25. A Golden Touch

The grave was big and roomy, much more than that of the Royal Family's Tomb. The floor was beige ceramic. Dark, swirly patterns were carefully laid out along the floor and loose, sandstone bricks jutted out of the walls.

"Why does a gravekeeper have such an extravagant grave?" mused Link as he looked at a statue of a beetle, "I mean, the Royal Family had a titchy tomb compared to this thing!"

"I don't know..." replied Navi, thoughtfully, "but this looks like a museum of some kind to me. Look at all these paintings and statues!"

With that, the fairy began to fly over to the walls to gaze upon the framed canvases, all splashed with paint.

"Look at this woman! She's definitely not like anyone I know."

Link focused on Navi, who was flittering around a painting sheathed in a golden frame. From how his fairy worded it, he thought there was a real woman standing around in the gravekeeper's grave for a second.

The artistic creation was a woman, clearly posing to be painted, sitting on a wooden chair, facing 90° to the left of the perspective point with her smooth hands folded across the left armrest. She wore a green and brown robe and was growing brown-ginger hair that reached her shoulders. What was most eye-catching about the work of art was her smile. It looked like she was trying to hold her laughter in after seeing someone fall off their chair at a family gathering. Alternatively, she knew something Link didn't.

"Whoever she is, I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley!" said Link, a little disturbed by her smile.

Navi instantly began to turn red. "Link! That's not funny! That's the Mona Lisa from that parallel world! Someone has taken the time and effort to recreate it over here! This painting is worth tens of millions!"

"Tens of millions?" repeated Link, dumbstruck. How could a simple painting be worth so much? "How much?"

"About seventy five million, five hundred and eighty one thousand rupees!" answered Navi.

"That's a big number."

"It's art. Famous artists can make millions off a single painting."

"Wow..." breathed Link, "Well, I know what my job is going to be when everything blows over."

"Do you know just how long this took to finish? Apparently, four years! This stuff takes time!"

"Four years?"

"Yes, four years! Is there an echo in here? Let's just move on before we lose Dampé!"

* * *

"Hey, that guy's made up of fruit and vegetables!" observed Link, walking by a painting titled 'Summer'.

"No, silly! He's made up of paint!" chortled Navi. "Look at this statue! This one is of a man about to attack a giant! It's priceless! No amount of money can pay for it!"

Link tried to avoid looking at the rather... questionable statue Navi was focused on. It depicted a man, his hand against his chin, gazing off into the distance, but… he seemed to have forgotten his clothes. "Really? I thought he might be looking for a pair of trousers!"

"Link, this painting is prodigious! Just look at this tenebrism!" squeaked Navi, zipping around a picture that took up almost the entire wall. "This is the Night Watch gang moving out!"

"The Night Watch gang? Sounds like some kind of... superhero play with kids."

"Woah… This statue looks… important."

* * *

 _ **MIDAS.**_

* * *

That is what the inscription on the base of this statue said.

Midas. A very exotic and old sounding name.

The statue had one of it's hands missing, but no one had to look far because it was laying on the floor on its back, its fingers pointed in the air like a dead spider. The man himself was holding his handless arm outwards, as if his hand had just been lopped off by an enemy soldier. He was a very rich looking chap. His neck was wrapped in gold chains, trinkets and medals like a very arrogant soldier. He had a curly beard and swirling hair, plus a crown atop his head. He wore a drooping toga. In the hand he still had, he held a sceptre. His entire sculpture was made of a rough sandstone, sharply contrasting the other ones which were carved smoothly from marble.

"Who's this fella? Some sort of singer?" muttered Link as he raised his foot up towards the downed hand that lay before him to stand on it. It was already broken off, so he might as well use it to boost himself up a bit to see if he'd missed anything, right?

Navi felt a wave of shock, dread and stress crash into her like a tsunami as she saw what her companion was doing. Like a bullet, she darted down under Link's boot, forcing him to withdraw it. "Link, what do you think you're doing?" snapped Navi, strobing red, orange and yellow, "Haven't you heard the legends of this man? This statue could be dangerous!"

"Well, no. I haven't." answered her partner, confused as to how a simple statue could be so dangerous. "Who is this 'Midas' guy?"

"Midas was a king from a place in the other world called Greece. He got granted a wish for saving a drunken man, and he wished for his touch to become golden."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Link questioned. Intrigued, his fingers itched to grab a nearby rock and place it on the broken hand.

"What do you think? Anything he touched turned to gold!"

"But how would he eat? You can't shovel in food if it turns to gold because it would break your teeth!"

"Exactly." replied Navi. To illustrate her point, she remembered what made her proud of Link, allowing her to turn gold. "Anything he touched, gold. Even his food. Even his daughter."

"Oh, no!" breathed Link, enraptured.

"Oh, yes! He accidentally turned his daughter into a replica of Din! Or Farore… or Nayru… One of them, anyway."

"So this statue..."

"Yes. It might turn you into a rather expensive statue and we don't want that, do we?"

"No, no we don't."

Trying to take his mind off how he almost stepped to his death, Link turned his head and noticed a stone tablet, embedded in the statue's stomach.

" _Make the dull key sparkle with my touch_

 _and then the way can be opened."_

He then looked to the right of the statue. Embedded in the wall was a push-up door, bound with chains. An extravagant lock shone like the sun in the middle.

"Navi, look over there." Link pointed over to the stone tablet and stepped away from the hand, prompting Navi to fly over to inspect it. As she mumbled the words at whizzspeed, she let out a confused growl, looked up at the medals around the statue's neck and flew back over to Link. "Link, look up there! The statue's neck!"

Craning his own neck upwards, Link looked up at the statue's head. "What is it? What do you see?"

"The key! A rusty old key! Around his neck!" replied Navi, chirping away. Without having to be asked, she flew up to Midas' neck, grabbed the key and began tugging as hard as she could. Her little arms felt like they were about to snap off almost immediately. She turned red with exertion as she pulled on the key as hard as possible but try as she might, it was staying put. "I can't take this off!" she groaned, almost emitting smoke at this point, "If this were any tighter, it would chop his head off!"

"I'll get it! I'm coming up there!" announced Link, calling up to her as he approached Midas before jumping and grabbing onto the rough sandstone of the statue. He dug his nails into the little perforations that were present in the statue and, just like how he climbed trees back in the forest.

"Careful, Link! Don't fall onto the hand!"

"Thank you, Navi, that's JUST what I wanted to hear(!)"

"I'm just trying to help!"

What seemed like a full two minutes later, Link reached the neck of Midas and reached the dangling key. With one sharp tug, the string had snapped, releasing a cloud of sandstone dust into the air. "Good going, Link!"

Link slid down the body of the statue, key in hand, making sure to avoid stepping on the disembodied hand trap on the floor. "Make the dull key sparkle with his touch..." recited Link, sliding the remaining string off of the key. Hesitantly, he reached down towards the hand, his own one shaking like a hatchling.

Would this work?

"Link, whatever you do, don't touch the hand while you're putting it down or picking it back up. Be as careful as you can!" Navi ordered as Link's quivering hand finally dropped the key. With a **CHINK** , it landed on the hand, bouncing and twirling in the air.

It was like it had just been dropped in the river Pactolus. Like ice solidifying around it, the bottom began to turn golden. The once-rusty key slowly became very valuable as gold began to creep up it. After the slithering noise finished, the key was smooth and solid gold. Only when it had completely stopped making any noises did Link dare reach out for it.

The very edges of his fingers touched the key before he quickly winced and withdrew his hand. If the key had turned to gold, would touching the key now spread it?

Like he was searching for a wasp that had just crawled into his gauntlet, Link quickly searched over his gauntlet for any sign of gold. "Am I good, Navi?"

"That key finished turning to gold ages ago! It's safe to pick up!" replied the fairy, placing her hands on her hips. Rolling his eyes, Link tried once more.

Once again, Link reached out slowly and touched the ring of the key with his fingertips. His head shone with sweat as he nervously began to pull it up. No gold sneaked up his fingers.

Eventually, the key came free from the hand and met with Link's. "I bet now this key will open that door over there."

Holding his breath, half from hope and half from the musty stench of the statue, Link inserted the golden key into the lock and turned it.

 **CLICK, CLICK. CLATTER!**

" **AAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

The lock fell off the chains and onto Link's foot. With a pained hiss, he hopped up and down, holding his boot as Navi giggled in laughter.

"Zip your lip! That's not funny!" hissed Link, glaring at the pink Navi. After a small cough of embarrassment, she settled down.

"Sorry. Let's just move on, shall we?"

"Lets."

* * *

 **CLANG! RUMMMMBLE! SLAM!**

Link placed his hands under the door, threw it upwards and ran through it just as it came ramming back down. He had made it. This was the end.

He was in a pretty, ornate room that had a red carpet rolling up to a dais. Sitting proudly atop the dais was a gold-rimmed treasure chest.

 **Whoowhoowhoowhoowhoowhooooosh!**

Spinning like a top, Dampé materialised into view. "Congratulations, laddie!" he laughed, his gravelly voice rattling in sync with his lantern. "You've solved the puzzle of the Great King Midas! As a reward, I shall grant you my treasure! It's called the Hookshot! You pull the trigger on the handle and a chain shoots out of it! Boing! Yahoo! Boing! Yahoo! Boing! Yahoo!"

Link and Navi exchanged glances as the ghostly gravekeeper mimed himself using the Hookshot. He held his hairy arm out, pretended to press a button and began making strange noises with his mouth.

" **Buzzzzzzzzzz! Chikachikachikachikachicka!"**

As he realised what he was doing, the ghost turned red and cleared his throat. "I live here right now, so feel free to come back and look at my fine art at any time! One more thing. Be careful on your way out! There's a guy running a windmill out there, and the platform you dismount on spins around like a pinwheel Watch your step!"

Letting one more ghostly laugh out, Dampé vanished in scraps of brown cloth. The light of his lantern faded out further.

and further.

and further.

until it was gone.

"A stretching, shrinking keepsake..." recited Navi, looking at the treasure chest ahead.

"A Hookshot." muttered Link, scratching his ear, "Boing. Yahoo. Buzzzzzzzzzz. Chikachikachikachikachicka."

"What?"

"Oh! Never mind!"

Blushing with embarrassment, Link kicked the chest open, almost breaking off the top half.

There it was. The Hookshot!

From the spike on the end and the trigger handle, it looked more like a weapon than a navigation tool. Its chain was presumably wrapped up inside the metal tube, which was dancing with silver curlicues.

"Let's see how this thingy works then..." Link carefully grabbed the Hookshot by its handle, which was curving so the user had somewhere to put their fingers.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asked Navi as Link gave the trigger a gentle squeeze to start off.

Nothing.

"Yes, I'm sure it's fine. He wouldn't have given it to me if it wasn't safe."

 **CLICK!**

A sudden jolt caused Link's arm to fly back, almost bashing himself in the face. Like a pouncing cobra, the spike shot out of its place on a chain as the sounds of metal rattling rang in his ears.

 **CHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKA!**

Then, with no stopping or slackness, the chain immediately started retracting, clacking back into place.

"This thing's gonna have me knock one of my bloomin' teeth out!" grumbled Link, angrily jamming the Hookshot into his bag with no hesitation. "I'm surprised I didn't break my arm with that recoil!"

As he fell silent… Navi started listening in the direction of a hallway which lead up a set of stairs.

 **Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…**

"Link, do you hear musicover there?" buzzed Navi. Link focused his ears. Through the sounds of whirring cogs of the spinning windmill, he could hear it.

Seriously, if it's "You Spin Me Round Like A Record", I'm out of here.

"Dampé said that there's a man that runs the windmill, but… he wouldn't end his grave in a public place like that, would he?" mused Link, listening to the music up ahead. It was all he could think about as he walked through the door and up the stairs.

\- Was it a parrot that was just really good at imitation?

\- Did the grave really come out at The World's End and everyone was just having a bit of a shindig?

\- Was the music just a really catchy song stuck in his head?

\- Did Navi have some kind of sound playback ability and was toying with him?

\- Was this one of Dampé's tricks?

\- Was he about to walk into a new opera house and end up onstage, where he would get lumped into playing 'Bottom' in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?

 **Clatter clatter clatter clatter clatter clatter...**

 **Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…**

Link crested the top step and almost groaned. Dampé was telling the truth.

" _Who in their right mind would have their grave empty out into a public place? That's just asking for some kid to come wondering in!"_

Just as the old gravekeeper had said, his grave extended all the way out into the village windmill. The walls seemed to be made of white, chalky bricks while the floor was considerably darker. Ropes hung from the ceiling and bags of flour, wheat and other supplies were stored on the west side of the room.

Confused as an averagely IQ'ed person in a Maths exam, Link stepped to the edge of the platform, turned and descended the little wooden ladder that went down to the floor. As he landed, he was almost swept straight to the floor by a revolving turntable. This turntable spun the blades for the entire windmill.

The music got louder and louder as Link spun on the turntable. As the volume rose, so did the anger in the song. It sounded like someone was forcefully playing an accordion. "Link!" cried Navi, flying in circles to keep up with her spinning partner, "Look! There's a man over there!"

Navi pointed over to the side of the room. Link followed her eyes. There, at the end of a little boardwalk off the side of the spinning turntable, was a bald man wearing a teal shirt and dark blue, torn shorts. He carried a strange instrument that resembled a musical turntable, but it had a large funnel that spun around and around as he turned the handle on the side.

"Go around… go around… go around… I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS INFERNAL SONG!"

"Calm down!" replied Link as he stepped off of the turntable and approached the man. "Why can't you just stop playing the song?

The man looked like he was about to explode. "CALM DOWN? THIS SONG HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY NUT FOR YEARS! It's all that ocarina kid's fault!"

"Ocarina kid?" repeated Navi. The colour all drained from her as she looked at Link, then the Ocarina of Time attached to his belt.

"Yes, that pesky ocarina kid! He looked just like you, so he did! He had the same hat, same clothes, same colour! You look just like him! He came in here, played this song and IT MADE SUCH A STORM THAT IT MADE THIS WINDMILL GO HAYWIRE AND DROWN THE WELL!"

Link's mind slowly stopped paying attention to all this ranting. It was hurting his head. Maybe it was just the fact that he had apparently already been here, despite remembering every second of his first visit to Kakariko Village as a child and never having any memories of this mill. Instead, he stopped breaking his brain and focused on the song the man was trapped into playing.

A whimsical fairground tune. Just listening to it for half a second would get it stuck in your head for years and years and years. It sounded like it would be played at every kid's birthday party throughout the entire world. In other words, it was this world's version of "The Birdie Song".

" _That song can make storms when you play it on the Ocarina of Time?"_ gathered Link as he slowly reached for his instrument. The fact that the man was playing this song on his… instrument and it was doing nothing, yet a kid with the exact same kind of ocarina as him, maybe even THE Ocarina of Time, was able to make a monsoon out of it gave him that impression. Listening carefully to the notes the owner was playing, he played along to it.

 **Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…**

 **KABOOM!**

A massive explosion stopped both Link and the proprietor in their tracks. Navi squeaked and popped up, flashing a variety of bright, shocked colours.

 **Drip…**

"Navi, can you feel that?" whispered Link to Navi, reaching his hand up and into the air to confirm if he had really just felt…

 **Plip…**

rain indoors. He could feel rain, even though he was inside.

 **Plipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplop…**

Within seconds, it had gone from… maybe a leak in the ceiling, to A MASSIVE TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR OF RAIN INDOORS.

All the liquid seemed to put a spanner in the works of the windmill, as the turntable started to spin faster.

and faster.

and faster.

and faster.

and faster.

It kept on coming and coming and the wheel spun faster and faster. At a rate of knots, it was going like the absolute clappers.

"Oh no! Another storm!" gasped the man, frantically turning the handle on his instrument to compensate for the speed of the windmill. If it wasn't raining, his instrument would have definitely caught fire. "You played that ocarina again, didn't you! GRRRRRRRRR! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Red in the face, steam pouring out of his ears, the man began stomping towards Link and Navi, brandishing a fist. Stepping back in alarm, Link stumbled on the lip of the turntable and toppled onto it. The sheer speed of the machine whirled Link around 90° to the direction of the door before he flew off, crashing straight out the door and back into Kakariko Village.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"I think there's an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us."_


	26. The Smell Of Nostalgia

**CRAAAAASH!**

The turntable had sent Link crashing straight out the door, where he skidded across the grass and came to stop.

"What on earth have I done?" he said as he watched the windmill blades going round. Now, usually, watching a windmill's blades spinning is very satisfying. Looking at one particular blade as it went around was oddly satisfying, and a great way to spend an afternoon. This…

was anything but relaxing.

The storm had somehow messed up the windmill, just as the man said it had seven years ago. Its blades were now spinning like the propeller on a biplane. The works all screamed like all the tortured souls had all been released from Ganon's Tower at once.

"I think we busted it." cringed Navi. Link looked at her, his face full of embarrassment.

"Let's make a run for it."

"Agreed."

Link pulled himself up, vaulted over the wooden fence behind him and ran out of the village. As he went, he kept his eye on the door to the windmill in case the mad man back in there decided to come out and give chase.

* * *

Link was getting closer and closer to Kokiri Forest. He had been trekking for a full twenty minutes, but the smell of burning wood left him around fifteen minutes in. As he crested the hill that meant he was near his destination, he took one look back at the quadratic farm fields that lay behind the smoking ruins of Hyrule Castle Town.

Instead of a sunny yellow, instead of a snowy white, all of the crops were muddy brown. Some red embers could be seen jumping off the ends of the black heather, originally a lucky white. Someone had set fire to all the crops. All of the farmers were gone too.

Three guesses on who did it.

" _Ganondorf…"_ thought Link as he stared at the destroyed wasteland of the fields " _What did all of those fields ever do to get in your way?"_

"Come on, Link." said Navi gently as Link trembled with rage atop the hill, "Something tells me the forest needs us. We can't let everyone down, can we?"

…

…

…

Silence.

No movement. Link stopped twitching with rage, finally looking back at Navi, Link gripped the hilt of the Master Sword and yanked it out of the sheathe. As it was drawn, it lit up and made a loud buzzing noise.

 **VUM!**

"Eek! What are you doing with that?" Navi squeaked as she backed away from her partner. The colour drained from her light instantly. "Please, calm down!"

"If Ganondorf did THAT to Castle Town, just think of what he could have done to my home!" replied Link urgently. With a **VUM** , he slashed his sword across, trailing blue energy into the air. "We have to take action! Now!"

With his longer legs, Link found himself running much faster than he ever did as a child. Navi struggled to keep up with him, in fact.

As he drew closer to the sight of home, he grew further away from the scent of home.

* * *

"Is it just me… or does it smell different here now?"

It hadn't really occurred to him, but Navi was right. As he entered the forest, the teen smelled the air, taking in a big inhale of what should have been a nice, fresh smell of trees and plants, with the slight scent of mildew. It should have been the smell of nostalgia. Now, it smelt like a wild jungle. It stank of humidity and rotting plant material, which punched the breath out of Link.

It should have sounded peaceful and homely, with wind hissing through the trees. He should have heard children playing and having fun. Instead, he heard monkeys howling from the tops of trees, cicadas screaming from their nests and…

a piercing screech.

There were no wood warblers warbling, no piles of leaves to burst through, just deafening silence.

The Kokiri Forest was as dead as a doornail.

The grass had gotten into a fight with the weeds, and the latter had won. Thistles were growing out of the flowerbeds, the dirt paths and even houses. Enormous stinging nettles grew from rocks and patches of dirt. The worst offender by far was some… blue turnip that was just laying in the middle of the road in amongst a bed of thistles.

"Link, don't pluck that blue thing!" warned Navi. Link was beginning to advance towards the strange growth in the road to pull it, but something was clearly wrong according to Navi. "It's a giant Deku Baba! It will bite your head off if you go anywhere near it! Be careful!"

"I'm always care-"

 **SCHRAAAAAAAAGLE!**

As Link turned his head back to Navi to reassure her, the blue plant rose into the air on a green stalk, covered with stinging hairs. Growing spikes on its head, the monster swung itself horizontally in an arc like a wrecking ball, leaving Link with just enough time to whip the Hylian Shield off of his back and block it.

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNG!**

The Baba's blow rang against Link's defences like a bell and, despite the incredible durability of the shield, it sent Link staggering backwards. Link drew the Master Sword once more.

 **KKKKKRAT! BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…**

Link circled the Deku Baba as Navi began targeting it herself.

" _Time to see what this sword can do."_

The two foes glared at each other, waiting for the other one to make a move.

Not one of them was going to do so. They both knew doing that would be their undoing.

Quickly, Link made a fast step towards the plant, before quickly stepping back. As he had predicted, the plant lunged at him, falling for his ruse. It was like holding a treat for your dog before jerking your hand to make him think you threw it for him. Just as the plant realised it had been duped, Link raised the master sword and bought it down.

 **VUM! BJJJJJJJZZZZHKKHKJZJJJJJJJZZZZZZZvvvwwommmmm…**

A head-splitting pause pierced the winds of the battle. Link's sword had gone straight through the mindless monster, including its stem, but nothing was happening. It still stood straight back up, a burning blue split going up its stem, under its chin, over its head and back down its stalk. Did it even have a brain to destroy?

"Navi, what's it doing?" hissed Link as the plant, clearly messed up in the head, began wobbling around in circles like a paper plate on a cane during a windstorm.

"It's worked! It's done for! You did it, Link!" replied Navi. Turning gold with pride for him, Navi rejoined Link, who was clearly very frustrated.

" **DOES THAT FLIPPING PLANT LOOK DEAD TO YOU?** "

Answering his rhetorical question, the blue glow that traced the monster intensified. It got brighter and brighter like a torch, forcing Link to shield his own eyes. With one last dying whine, the Deku Baba split and fell to the floor on both sides like two opposite sides of a banana peel.

"It looks dead to me!" laughed Navi nervously, slightly disturbed at what just happened. Link playfully gave her a little flick, but his face fell instantly when he saw his old friend's house.

Mind! What was left of her house. A tree had smashed down on the roof and, ten times worse, a red, scaly tail was protruding from the now jagged entrance to the place.

What could possibly be worse than that?

It was clearly eating something. Link could hear crunching and the slithering of a tongue clattering out and into his ears like nails on a chalk board.

 **SCRUNCH, SCRUNCH, SCRUNCH! SHLAP! SHLACKT!**

"No!" Leaving Navi behind, Link charged at whatever monster was eating from Saria's house. Or was it eating from Saria? "Get off of her! Get off!"

Link screamed like a barbarian as he charged at the swinging tail with the Master Sword. With a deafening roar, he thrust it into the thigh of the monster. Surprisingly, though, it did not seem to work its magic and do extra damage, despite it being a monster of some kind. It did hurt, however, prompting the creature to stop scoffing and screech at the top of its lungs. It turned around, its tail smacking Link senseless and to the floor. When he shook his head to recover, he realised it was…

"A raptor?"

A skinny dinosaur turned its yellow, slit-pupilled eyes onto Link. It was orange with red stripes and a white underbelly. Its hexagonal scales bent and partially came off in folds at the joints of the animal.

The Great Deku Tree taught Link of the dinosaurs. They were once absolutely ginormous reptiles that stomped all over the planet hundreds of millions of years ago. Mido had… told him more than he wanted to know, to be honest. What was strange about one being here was that, according to the Great Deku Tree, a giant asteroid the size of a house struck the planet and completely annihilated all of the dinosaurs. Just what were they doing here in Kokiri Forest?

"LINK! GET UP! QUICKLY! HE'S GOING TO GET YOU!"

Link had been so taken aback by the presence of a real dinosaur that Navi had to angrily snap him back into action. He held the Master Sword out in front of him to ward the raptor off and, realising that it was in no shape to fight alone due to its earlier meeting with the blade, it darted, limping all the way.

 **BOOM… BOOM, BOOM… BOOM, BOOM… BOOM, BOOM…**

Once he was sure the savage dinosaur was completely gone, Link wasted no time running through the wreckage of Saria's house to look for anything. Be it her or… what was left. He didn't call her name, because if she was alive then she wouldn't recognise him. He just panted with dread as he threw pieces of wood and shattered furniture aside. Finally, next to her brick oven, he threw aside the bent, metal hatch for it and…

A red, pulsing stain of a crimson. That is what he found. It was spread in a shape eerily resembling a skull and crossbones, and was breathing up and down from heat.

Link couldn't believe what he was seeing. His eyes were swimming, both with tears and disorientation, he was breathing harder than he ever had before. Slowly, Navi flew in with him and landed on his shoulder. "Link… I am so sorry."

Sheik was right. He was right about his mind still being ten. Despite all the ageing, he found himself in deep, stinging tears. This girl raised him alongside the Great Deku Tree and, just like him, she was now dead as a doornail.

"Wait!" chimed Navi. She lit up like a lightbulb with an idea.

Trying his hardest to focus on her, Link replied as his voice still broke. "What is it?"

"Remember her song? It allows you to speak with her! Try it!"

"She's dead, Navi. She can't talk to us."

"You never know until you try it. Just play the song and see if you get a response."

Link breathed in and then raised his ocarina to his mouth. "It's… worth a try. I have my doubts, but here goes."

 **F A B, F A- SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

Startled, Link almost dropped the magical ocarina. Like it was a hot potato, he juggled it up and down in the air before catching it. "That wasn't the right note! What is wrong with this instrument?"

"That wasn't anote, full stop! There are more raptors behind you!"

Link whirled around to face the broken exit of the house. They all stood like Cerberus. Three raptors, heads together, stared at him furiously and hungrily. One of them was the one Link had attacked earlier, as evidenced by the dry wound on its thigh. The other two were… new. One was dark green with blood-stained teeth and the other was black with very jagged, worn teeth.

His hand sprinted for the Master Sword, but the red raptor sprinted for his throat. Like he was a cowboy doing a quick draw, Link quickly threw out the Master Sword and drove it through the raptor's heart.

 **VUM! KITCRRRITCSLPOORT!**

This did not go down well with the other two raptors, as they charged into the house to tear Link at least two dozen new mouths, but he pulled the Master Sword out of the first Raptor and performed two quick attacks that left one with no head and the other hopping up and down on one leg as its other one crashed to the floor. With the legless one being the only one left, it fled, hopping as if it were on a pogo stick.

* * *

The ire of battle had satisfied his desire to burn off steam, but that didn't change the fact that Saria was gone. Slowly, Link took the ocarina back out and, looking around for any more interruptions, he played the song he was going to play a few moments ago.

 **F A B, F A B…**

When he finished, he shut his eyes and tried as hard as he could to relax but every time he got close to achieving peace of mind, he just thought about how Saria had probably just been mutilated by a raptor just as he arrived.

" _Come on, brain! Focus!"_

That isn't how you relax, mentally yelling at your own brain to focus. Through gritted teeth, Link tried to concentrate on his youth as much as he could. The times he spent playing tag with the others, when he was just free of all responsibility and stress, much simpler times.

This was better! Thinking back to the past allowed Link to almost forget that the world was on the verge of destruction. He almost forgot that the forest was infested with dinosaurs. He almost forgot that-

" _Link?"_

Link almost lost connection as the voice that sounded in his head almost made him faint with relief. His brain was swimming and struggling to maintain calmness.

 _"Saria! Is that you?"_

" _Yes. I'm fine._ _What happened to your voice?"_

" _What happened to_ ** _you_** _?_ _I've been worried sick! I thought you were dead!_ _"_ Remembering that Saria could see from his general area, Link began moving around to make sure Saria could see the red stain on her floor. _"What's this red thing here,_ _then_ _?"_

" _That's…_ _some jam. I was making a pie when I heard cracking outside and when I went to investigate,_ _a giant tree fell on my house!"_ replied Saria, her voice sounding slightly annoyed as if all that had happened was she dropped a tray of biscuits.

So that was what the raptor was eating in there. Link had never been so relieved, but he still wasn't out of the woods yet. He had just gone in.

" _And why are there dinosaurs all over the forest?"_ Link asked. The connection started to make scratchy noises, so Link composed himself before continuing. _"I thought they were all extinct!"_

" _Ganondorf cast a curse on the Forest Temple that infested the whole area with monsters! I'm in the Forest Temple trying to get rid of the curse, but it's full of evil monsters!"_

" _You what?"_

" _I'm nearly at the art room, but-"_

" _Where is it? Is it that building near your spot in the Sacred Forest Meadow?"_

" _Yes… I… oh, no."_

" _Saria? What is it? What's happening?"_

" _Link?"_

" _Yes? What's wrong?"_

" _HELP."_

The last thing Link heard was laughter, which was muffled by metal, before the communication spell broke with a crack as if he were talking to her on a radio.

" _Saria? Are you there? Are you OK?"_

It was no use. The line had been cut, and Saria would be as well if that laugh came from a monster.

"Link? Are you OK? Is she OK?" Link heard Navi's voice spinning around his head. As he opened his eyes, he saw her, a concerned yellow, flying around Link's head like a firefly to a light.

"Yes, she's fine, but not for long. I just heard something jump at her and then… everything stopped! We have to go! Now! In fact, now might be too late!"

Navi didn't even have the time to ask what was wrong, as Link ran straight out of Saria's house and across the crunchy jungle. It wasn't long before he had passed his own treehouse.

The entire place was perfectly intact. The ladder had been patched up, overgrowing weeds had been severed and there was a ginger-haired boy climbing the ladder and going in with a bag of bread.

"What's he doing up there?" Link mused, frowning. Much to Navi's confusion, he turned, went down the hill and up his ladder after the boy. As he poked his head over the top of the ladder, he… recognised him a bit.

He was kneeling by a plump, brown cucco alongside two burly boys, tearing the crusts off the bread and gently feeding it to her.

" _Edith?"_

Link's cucco did not seem to have an issue with the fact that she was being fed by someone who wasn't her owner. In fact, she seemed to like it. She clucked cautiously as she pecked the crusts of bread. Sometimes, she caught his fingers and prompted the boy to wave his hand up and down, hissing in pain.

"What are you doing?" said Link, pulling himself up the ladder. The boy turned his head with the other two and looked at him. Freckles dotted across his face. His eyes were blue and naturally narrowed into a frown. His pointy hat and ears made him look like an elf.

"What are you doing here? This is Link's house, not yours!"

Mido.

Link couldn't believe what he was seeing. Mido was alive and well, though his clothes were torn and he was covered in white grazes and scratches. He was feeding his now-grown pet and now he was defending Link as if he was some sort of famous person. Was this even the same guy?

"And you're an adult! How are you not a tree by now?"

That was a good point, actually. For all the wrong reasons. Saria had told Link to ignore any remarks that he wasn't a Kokiri, yet… all along, Link appeared to be right. The Kokiri didn't age past ten, so how could he have come out of his slumber as an adult?

"Let's just say… I was let in here. That's it. What are you doing with Edith?"

Mido gasped, as well as his two grunts. They all looked at each other as if he had just started speaking Japanese. "How did you know this cucco's name?"

Oh.

" _Me and my big mouth!"_

"I… um… well…" Link stuttered, trying to think of something to say, "some kid outside the forest stopped by in… the inn! He told us everything about his home, including… this cucco!"

Mido stared a hole through Link, which was enough to make him break into a sweat. "Just who are you and what did you come here for?"

"I came here looking for… the Forest Temple. I've come to rid the forest of it's curse!"

"Yeah!" added Navi. She flew out of Link's cap and whirled around the room. Link almost cringed as she revealed herself, but Mido and his posse seemed very affected, seeing Navi flittering around Link.

"Are you all right?" asked Link, waving his hand in front of Mido's face. Instead of getting angry, the boy did something he had never done before.

He kept calm. "Oh! Yeah, I'm fine. It's just… when I look at you… I think of… him. Link. Back when we still lived together, I would harass and ridicule him, but when I look at you, you remind me of what a fool I was. I really… hope he comes back some day. I never got to apologise to him."

Link said nothing. The silence hung in the air for a moment and Mido started to fidget.

" _Aaaargh!"_ thought Link, _"Stop feeling sorry for Mido!"_

"Don't worry over it." he replied audibly. Mido and his two grunts stopped dead. "He's all right and… I'm sure he's willing to forgive you if you tell him how you feel."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"Now, just stay here and keep feeding that cucco. I'm going to the Forest Temple to make it so that you kids can play outside again. We can't have you all growing up forced to stay inside, can we? You'll get hypoplasia."

Mido raised an eyebrow before looking at both of his grunts for an answer to what 'hypoplesia' was, but both of them shrugged. "What on earth is hypo-" started Mido, but it was too late.

The man had disappeared out of Link's doorway and descended the ladder, back into the jungle.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Let's stop fighting over who we believe created the planet, & work together against those that choose to destroy it._ _"_


	27. Little Women

The Lost Woods.

Link had gone through this place to look for Saria as a child. Now he was doing it again. Only this time, Link couldn't recognise a thing about it. The sandy path was almost invisible under all the thorny vines and weeds. Playing tag in there would be essentially running to your doom.

Link hacked through the undergrowth with the Master Sword. Every time he swung at a giant nettle:

 **VUM!**

Every time the glowing blade snapped through a stem,

 **KSZZSRRSZT!**

After that, the plant fell to the floor, glowing red from the heat of the attack.

"Tell me, Link." started Navi as Link chopped down a vine, "When you were talking with Saria, if I may, what did you hear?"

"She told me that… the red stain on the floor of her house was one of her pies that exploded when the tree fell on her house." replied Link, "She was in the Forest Temple, the mansion near her sacred spot, and then I heard… a monster laughing."

"Oh?"

"Right. It was… muffled and echoing. It must be a really powerful knight of some kind. I hope she found a weapon to defend herself with while I come and help."

"So do I."

Brushing aside two giant leaves, Link found… a large tree in the middle of the path. He recognised this from the games he played in the woods, as it had this giant hole in the side to hide in, but this time the hole was blocked off by a shaky old ladder that ran up the tree and onto a platform that wasn't there before. That platform led into a wonky old treehouse, a little like the one he used to live in.

"Navi, let's go up there and see if we can see any better." Link suggested, heading for the ladder, "Maybe we'll be able to find the Sacred Forest Meadow from there."

"Right. I'll scout ahead and see if there's an ambush." With that, Navi relaxed herself to turn green and blend in with the surroundings before she rose up. Curiously, she buzzed into the doorway of the treehouse as Link waited for her and, much to his surprise, she came flying back out, gaudy pink with excitement and gibbering hysterically. "Link! There's a person in there!"

* * *

"Pesky flies! Shoo! Shoo!"

A boy with only one leg lay on a minimalistic bed, the sheets stained red. He swatted furiously at some gathering insects with a loo brush, the lot of them interested in his stump, which was wrapped up like a pound of meat.

"Am I interrupting you?" Link reached the top of the ladder and wondered in through the doorway. The boy stopped swatting and looked at him, suspicious.

"Are you bleeding? You're not finding somewhere to use the bog, are you?" asked the inhabitant, swatting his legless stump as a fly made its way onto the bandage. Link contorted half of his face in bemusement.

"No and… no chance. Plenty of trees around for that!"

"Good, good. You see, flies get attracted to this thing, so I can't have any guests attracting them for me."

"I understand." said Link, "What happened to you?"

Almost cursing with frustration as two flies landed on his sweaty countenance, the lad smacked himself in the face with his brush, suppressing his anger with a long hissing noise. "I woke up in the Lost Woods with one of those rough rascals noshing on my leg, so I did!" he said. As he spoke, he held his hand over his mouth to stop any flies from going in.

"Did you see who it was?" asked Navi, turning green with thought, "If you tell us, Link here can get them for you."

"Well, it was dark and… I never got the rapscallion, so I don't know who it was. All I know was that it had sharp teeth, a big head, a thin body and… tiny hands. That's all I got."

" _A raptor!"_ thought Link with a pang of guilt. He had been foolish enough to let Ganondorf into the Sacred Realm and his home was paying the price for it dearly. "Look, the rest isn't important, we just need to get you out here right now." Link insisted, sweating from guilt. "This place is dangerous."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm staying put. Walking around with this stump will make me an all you can eat buffet for every parasitic old bug in the jungle!" With that statement, the boy rolled over and went back to sleep. "If you see Saria, tell her that I'm all right."

"Of course."

* * *

Link was silent for the rest of the trip to the Sacred Forest Meadow. Navi tried to speak with him, but he was still silent as a foreign exchange student at an English speaking school. He didn't even express relief when he brushed through the thistly vines that led to the Sacred Forest Meadow.

"Link… Are you all right?" said Navi gently. Link was still silent. As she watched, he plopped himself down on a log, propping his head up with his hands.

"Navi… All of this is my fault." he said sombrely. Navi jumped in midair before landing on his head.

"What? What are you saying? How is any of this your fault?"

"I fell for Ganondorf's trap. All along, he wanted me to open the Door of Time so he could swoop in and… nab the Triforce. Now we're all paying the price for it!"

"Link… don't blame yourself. You didn't know any better. That's all." She turned rose gold with hope to try and rally Link. "Plus, if we break the curse on the Forest Temple, chances are that… the forest will return to normal. Please don't be sad. Saria needs you."

Link slowly exhaled before he stood up. "You're right. We may be too late now. We have no more time to lose!"

Navi watched as he advanced through the Sacred Forest Meadow, shimmering gold. "That's the boy I know!"

* * *

" _...Even so, I feel that this place will be very important for both of us someday. That's what I think."_

As Link ascended the steps to Saria's spot, he felt like he'd just stepped into a black and white film. Nostalgia flowed over him like a wave as he looked at the big, overgrown mansion that towered over him. Saria had taught him her song here and now… she was in the abandoned house, dead or alive. Link was hoping for the latter.

"All along, this was the Forest Temple." murmured Link, stroking the tree stump that sat behind the worn bonfire.

"You can say that again."

A familiar Spanish accent droned from behind Link. As he turned around, Sheik stood behind him, perched atop a tree like an owl. He was dressed in a green, camouflaged sneaking suit. He held a golden, curlicued harp in his hands, which balanced between his shoulder and his forearm.

Of course, Sheik turned up literally out of nowhere so it was understandable for Link to feel rather shocked. "What are you doing here?"

Sheik narrowed his eyes. "Did you not pick up on the fact that I have a job as well as you?"

"Why do you need to creep like a crawly? You scared me out of my skin!"

"Our deeds bind us to fate as surely as the sun sets." said Sheik.

"Could you say that in English?" mumbled Link, confused by the ninja's weird words.

"The flow of time is always cruel. Its speed seems to change for each person, yet no one can change it. A thing that doesn't change with time… is a memory of younger days."

"You're right. I've lost... so much. I really miss this place as it was. I miss my home."

"In order to return home at any time, play the Minuet of the Forest."

Taking his harp and placing it into the proper position, Sheik began to pluck the strings. Without hesitation, Link took out the Ocarina of Time and joined in.

They played an old country song for over half an hour. All the time, Link was worrying that this was stalling his progression into the Forest Temple but when he did, Sheik reminded him:

"Relax. You have all the time in the world."

They went on and on and on, the song getting firmly embedded into Link's head. He played perfectly and flawlessly until it was second nature.

"Link." Sheik lowered her instrument. Link followed suit. "I shall see you again."

"Wait!" chimed Navi, flashing with shock. "What are you doing now?"

Sheik said nothing. Instead, she bought her hand down and took out a brown, organic smoke grenade.

A Deku Nut.

Before Link could call out, she had thrown it to the floor and it burst, releasing smoke everywhere like water out of a balloon.

 **PAF!**

Link couldn't see a thing past the pea-souper and when it faded, Sheik had done a runner.

Or was her camouflage just working better than I thought?

"Wait!" Link called, his shout echoing all over the meadow. "How am I meant to get to the temple?"

Link almost heard the wind sighing as Sheik reappeared on a branch that hung over the temple's entrance. "Well, you'll just have to take a stab at it, won't you?"

 **PAF!**

"Take a stab at it?" repeated Link to himself. He drew the Master Sword and looked at the sharp point. No, that wouldn't do anything. Unless he planned on climbing up the tree.

The Hookshot? Link drew it and looked at the sharp point on the end of the machine. It looked sharp and it was shot at quite a fast speed. If his science was up to speed:

→ The Hookshot is shot out and then retracts.

→ If the hook just so happened to get stuck in something, it wouldn't be able to retract.

→ As a result, instead of the hook being bought back to the tube, the tube would get bought to the hook, including the handle.

→ Finally, if he were to hold on hard enough, he would be catapulted up to the hook.

"It's worth a shot." said Link, priming the hook and wrapping his fingers around the trigger. A little red laser, as if coming from a SWAT gun, pointed out the end of the machine and locked onto the overhanging branch.

"Um… Link? What are you doing with that?" asked Navi nervously, an unsure yellow.

With an unsure cringe on his face, Link's hand trembled as he aimed and squeezed the triger.

 **BANG! CHIKACHIKACHICKACHIKA! THUNK!**

Small shards of bark flew as the hook gored into the bark of the branch. Preparing for take-off, Link gripped the handle of the machine as tight as he could.

 **WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR!** " **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!** "

Navi squeaked like a mouse as her companion shot through the air like a freshly hit golf ball. His calculations were correct, and he was regretting it.

 **SMACK!**

Link crashed straight into the tree that hung above the broken staircase to the Forest Temple. Groaning, He prised himself off before yanking the Hookshot to remove it. Finally, it dislodged and took some layers of bark with it. "I did it!" called Link to the baffled Navi. After a small delay, she flew up to join him.

* * *

"Saria! SARIA!"

Link called and called throughout the busted manor house for any sign of Saria. He wondered through old hallways,

"SARIA!"

in the tea rooms,

"SARIAAAAA!"

in the kitchens,

"SARIAAAAAAAA!"

and even in the bathroom.

" **SARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!** "

I hope there were no ghosts taking a bath at that time.

Link descended the steps that went to the main foyer of the house to look for his friend. He was feeling like there was hope that Saria was alive, but he also felt that he was too late.

The main foyer was old and dusty, just like all the other rooms in the temple. Giant paintings hung from the walls. They depicted very official looking men, all wearing gaudery collars and coats, with red trousers. Unfortunately, though, they were all dusty and webbed from time.

The most distinguishable feature of the room, though, was a set of golden torches. They all formed a big square in the centre of the room. One burned with a powerful, orange fire. Another crackled with a calming, green blaze. The third shone with a deep, blue blast and the last popped with a poignant purple shade. In the middle was a rectangular box, somewhat resembling a London phone box.

"Look, over there!" trilled Navi, trailing off to investigate, "That must be the lift down to the art gallery!"

Link watched the sprite fly to the little box but, as he looked closely at the torches, he noticed…

several wraith like pairs of eyes.

"Navi! Watch out! It's a trap!"

Navi turned to acknowledge him, but four little women swished into the dimension of visibility, laughing like four old ladies having a chat.

"Hee, hee hee, hee heeheeheeheehee..."

"Hwah, hah hah, hah hahhahhahhahah..."

"Hurr, hurr hurr, hur hurhurhurhurhur..."

"Hoo, hoo hoo, hoo hoohoohoohoohoo..."

"Navi!" Come back here!" ordered Link as Navi squeaked, turned yellow and began flying back towards her partner. But the ghosts were not interested in her. They were interested in filling their lanterns. With annoying laughs, the four ladies scooped up the flame that corresponded to their colour before disappearing.

With no fuel to run from, the phone box in the middle of the room sank like a stone, dropping straight through the floor and heading into the art gallery without him.

"Give those back, you spectral safecrackers!" shouted Link, drawing the Master Sword with a burning buzz. He charged at the four ghosts. "We need those!"

Not even the time to make a swing. Link got to the middle as the ladies disappeared, their combined laughter irritating his ears. And I am NOT going to write that down because I'll get a review complaining that I just randomly started writing in Swahili.

"Drat! Double drat! Double, mega drat! They got away!" Link moaned, dropping to his knees and pounding his fist on the floor. "Just who were those ghosts? Who do they think they are?"

"Link..." started Navi. She turned a helpful purple colour. "Follow me to the library. I found a book in there that could help you out."

"All right. What is it?"

"It's a book called 'Little Women' and it was written by someone from the other world. Those ghosts are theorised to be the same people from that book!"

"Really? Where is it?"

"Follow me!"

Using her light to guide Link, Navi floated back up the stairs and through the door.

* * *

"Hey, Mido, are you sure this is the right way?"

"Positive."

Grunting and heaving, Mido stomped through the Lost Woods. He was getting more and more cut from thistles he was shoving out the way, but he was determined to find the Sacred Forest Meadow and, more importantly, the Forest Temple. "Look! These giant weeds have all been cut in half! No mistaking it, he came down here!"

Both of his cronies shared a look of "What kind of logic is that?" but they didn't dare say it out loud out of fear of punishment.

Mido shoved a harmless pair of leaves out of the way, frantically rubbing his nettle stings with doc leaves. There, he came across a fork in the road and… a tree.

It reminded Mido of Link's treehouse, which gave him a stinging feeling of guilt. It was considerably messier than Link's treehouse, but if he hadn't stepped in then it probably would have been even worse. Before he could even tell himself what he was doing, he found himself climbing up the ladder and looking at the top. "Hellooooo?" called the boy in through the entrance at the bundle of torn, green clothes and black hair on the bed. "Is anybody in?"

Frustrated, the boy in bed huffed and groaned like an old machine. "Look, I'm trying to sleep here. I haven't got a good sleep in days so put an egg in your shoe and beat it!"

"What did you say? No one backchats me like that! What is wrong with you?"

The boy swung his leg over the bed. Why only his leg? He only had one. "I'm missing a leg, that's what's wrong!"

Mido recoiled instantly, nearly falling clean off the ladder. "Ow! Are you all right? What are you doing back here? It's dangerous!"

"I lost my leg to some monster! I woke up over here and it had just polished it off!"

"Goodness… Look, come with us. Now." said Mido firmly, "There are more monsters in here than there are in the forest."

"Nah. I've told someone this before. If I were to go hopping around the place like this, I would get infected in seconds! I would rather just be the main course for the T-rex. Even if it's the slowest, most painful way possible, it's better than slowly dying of an infection over the course of a week, isn't it?"

"Boys." snapped Mido down at his cronies. He slid down the ladder and rejoined the two members of his posse. "We're abandoning this mission and going to the woodsmith. We need to make the guy up there a wooden leg or I don't think he can last."

* * *

It had been two hours of reading. Link had found the book in the corner of the bookshelf and spent some time reading it. He had sat down at a desk near the grimy window and had a good, long read. Even if it was next to a pack of stale digestives and a cup of cold tea that was who knows how old.

"Right, so Meg was a governess for the kings, Jo wrote plays, Beth got scarlet fever and was weakened permanently and Amy… is VERY unlikable." recalled Link, slamming the dusty book shut and causing a cloud to billow into the air.

"Now you know about their strengths and weaknesses." said Navi. "Let's put a plan into action!"

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one._ _"_


	28. A Massive Zweihander

"No, a wooden leg! Medium sized, green, a shoe on the end, that!"

Mido thumped his fist on the desk of the woodsmith's store. Still, the owner spoke with an undistinguishable northern accent.

"Wot d'ya need 't fer? Both yer legs seem fine to me!"

"I can't understand one word of what you're saying, Willard!" complained Mido. "Oh, look… Hang on..." Grunting in frustration, he began scrawling down on a piece of paper before sliding it over the desk. "We need that, OK? And make it snappy!"

The boy at the desk picked up the piece of paper and began taking notes on how to construct it. "Ah! One wood'n leg tha' snaps easily!"

"Yes, that's it! Wait, no! Why, you… I meant 'be quick about it!"

"I see! In that case, ah'll get to work straight away!"

* * *

"So, Meg is a bit of a snob." said Navi. "Try and distract her with something that looks expensive."

"Right." replied Link.

"Jo has quite a hot temper, so try and take advantage of that."

"Makes sense."

"Beth was permanently weakened by her scarlet fever. That should make her easy."

"Ouch… A little harsh, but she did steal the fire."

"Finally, Amy is… really unlikeable. Just use that to your advantage."

"All right. Just remember how irritating she was."

Link slid the book he had read back into the bookshelf. The book had been about some girls who were in poverty, two went to a Christmas party, with Amy finding a boy she fancied, Beth ended up dying, Jo moved to… somewhere off in the west of their world and Amy got married to the boy. Whenever he came across one of their names in the book, he cautiously looked behind himself to see if one of the ghosts had followed him in.

Throughout the whole reading experience, though, Link had not one monster come charging in on him. He got some rather scary looks from the black statue at the back, but other than that, he had a nice and relaxing break.

"Let's search around here for the first ghost." Link suggested. "She can't have gone far."

" **I wouldn't say that if I were you.** "

Link turned his head towards the source of the deep voice. It appeared to have come from the black statue that kept grinning at Link as he read. It was made of an abyssal, black stone and it had countless golden bars wrapped around itself as if those were its bounds. Its most… unnerving feature was the fact that it had six arms, three on each side, all of which carrying sharp, golden swords.

No. It couldn't have been that statue! In what world, other than Dr. Who, do statues talk?

Link looked suspiciously at the statue's red eyes and then at its slasher smile. Was there a fire in its hollow face that was causing the light?

Was the fire melting part of its face and causing both ends of its mouth to rise?

Were its… eyes narrowing… because it was… melting?

No. None of these. With a deep, evil laugh, blue fire blasted around the statue, obscuring it completely, and when it disappeared, the statue jumped to life, brandishing its six swords.

" **Muh, huh, huh, huh!** "

 **VUM!**

Link drew the Master Sword and the Hylian Shield on sight, readying himself for the upcoming fight. Navi had clearly never heard of this monster before, because she immediately flew over to it for analysis with a confused whine.

" **See how you like this!** " roared the statue. It reared three of its arms and swiped them sideways like an angry cat. All three of the blades scraped against Link's shield, where they scraped across the metal like nails on a chalkboard. " **There we go!** "

In its overconfidence, the monstrosity of a statue appeared to drop its guard. Link seized his opportunity and leaped into the air, flipping like a dolphin.

 **KZZOW!**

" **Aaargh! Get off me!** "

Despite creating a blue, stunning flash and making a loud sparking noise, all the Master Sword seemed to do was mildly irritate the swordsman. He glared at Link furiously before raising the two highest swords above his head. With a deep, scratchy groan, he built up his anger before unleashing it in the form of advancing forward while unleashing several wild overhead swings.

" **Take this! And this! And some of this! Maybe you need THIS!** "

Link's mind flashed back to his fight with Gohma. His first ever foe. When he went for a rematch in the Great Deku Tree, he fought back against her and forced her back. That made her angry and she had slashed overhead wildly with her forearms.

This situation was no different.

Remembering how he had dodged Gohma's fury, Link jumped back and to the side repeatedly, successfully weaving and ducking out of the way of the bladed assaults. " **Stay still so I can kill you, you little maggot!** "

The foe continued walking as it began slashing with its second set of swords. Link started jumping further and further back as it then started to use its third set of swords.

"Link, just hold on!" exclaimed Navi. "I'm going to help you! Give me a moment!"

Focusing all her energy, Navi began to glow white. She hummed with her own power, getting brighter and brighter before she produced a big flash like a lightning bolt.

 **SHING!**

The distraction caused a tiny opening jumped into the warrior's slashing pattern, allowing Link to quickly jump up and rise into the air with an uppercutting slash.

 **VWWWWWWWWWWUM! KSSHHHHHHHHHSHSHSHSZZZZSHZZT!**

This time, the Master Sword did its job. With a wobbling cry of pain, the barbarian flew up into the air, a big, shining stripe slashed up his front. Slowly, the light got brighter and brighter and brighter as the soldier crashed through the roof, dropping his swords as he did so.

" **Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh…**!"

As he flew up and up and up, he got brighter and brighter and brighter, emitting more holy light the closer he got to space. When his screams finally cut off, so did his existence.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Where it could do no harm, other than to a passing bird, the monster blew up in a blue blitz of heavenly light, leaving a permanent scar of a star in the sky.

Link looked up through the hole he busted in the ceiling. "Navi, who was that freak? Did one of those ghosts possess a statue or something?"

"Not to my analysis." said Navi. "That was a Slash Armos. They tend to lose their temper easily, so keep that in mind if we ever come across another one."

"Ah. All right, that makes sense. So, just make them angry and they'll reveal their weak spot." Link deduced. Come on, lets go and find those ghosts."

Taking one last look through the ceiling, Link walked to the door of the library and creaked it open. As he left, the Slash Armos' swords all fell back through the hole in the ceiling and clattered to the floor.

* * *

Link opened an old French door and was promptly hit in the face with the stench of stale air. He had walked straight into the courtyard, and it wasn't exactly worthy of having afternoon tea in.

In fact, someone HAD eaten afternoon tea in the courtyard. Two iron wrought chairs flanked a table of the same style, and it had a set of plate-holding racks on them. On each plate was sets of stale cupcakes and biccies. They must have been ANCIENT, because flies gathered around them, scoffing the hard icing greedily.

This place isn't going to be on 'Homes Under the Hammer' any time soon, is it?

"Phwor! This… stinks!" choked Link, clamping his fingers over his nose, "First there was that cup of tea in the library and now all this? Who left in such a hurry? They could have at least cleaned up after themselves first!"

A river created an island near a wall, which had a mossy old stone bridge crossing onto it. A wishing well was situated on said island, similar to the one in Kakariko Village.

"If I were to take a guess, I would say that there is a ghost hiding under that well over there." Navi held her nose as she spoke, causing her to sound rather nasal.

"She can't have gone down there!" Link denied, sounding slightly amused by the suggestion. "The fire would go out!"

"But… she's a ghost! She could have just… wafted through the floor."

"Fair point. Well made. But I can't… 'waft.' How do I get down?"

"Swim?"

"I can't hold my breath for that long. What if you're wrong? I have all this heavy equipment and if there's nothing down there, I'm stuffed!"

"Hang on a moment..." Navi flew over to the well to peer down into the depths. Just in case someone were to fall in, several bars of metal were lined up the side to use as a ladder. "There's a ladder here… Maybe there's a secret way in."

"Wait a minute!" Link ran over to join her, ocarina in hand. "I have an idea! Remember the Song of Storms?"

"Yes, I do. What about it?" replied Navi. She strobing green, purple and grey. Thoughtful, trusting and very confused, respectively.

"That barmy baldy back in the windmill said that some kid came in and played it in front of him. That made all the water drain from the well."

"I think I can see what you're trying to say!"

"Maybe this song can… drain the well, just as it apparently did to the well in Kakariko."

Navi looked in thought at the well. "It's worth a shot. Let's try it!"

And so, Link stood up on the lip of the well, inserted the mouthpiece and played the Song of Storms.

The carnival-like song rang out into the empty skies above him, which immediately started to fill with dark clouds like a tissue being filled with food colouring.

 **Drip… Drip… Drip… DRIPDRIPDRIPDRIPDRIPDRIP!**

As quickly as it started in the windmill, rain began tipping it down. The water bombs battered against the glass of the iron wrought table, surely they would break.

"Navi, hide in here!" ordered Link, lifting his hat for Navi to take shelter in. Like a mouse knocking down the prop of a cardboard box and getting stuck, she flew inside and Link withdrew his finger before going back to staring at the interior of the well.

It was hard to see, but a little whirlpool had formed in the middle of the water. It was miniscule, like a whirlpool produced by an oar in water, but it eventually upgraded.

More and more and more it grew until it was swirling around like a flushing toilet. Then, before Link's astonished eyes, it started descending.

Wait, is this thing Poseidon's khazi or something?

"It worked!" Exclaimed Link as the water gurgled down to the bottom. With a colossal grin on his face, he turned and began climbing down the metal bar ladder.

* * *

What's going on? I can't see anything! Seriously, I can't! What's going on here? How can I tell the story when all I can see is-

Oh. Never mind, Link just lit up a flare. That's better!

"When did you pick those up, Link?" asked Navi as she flew closer and closer to the red light on the end of the stick.

"I… have no idea, to be honest." Link admitted. "And be careful around this thing! Are you a moth or something?"

"Sorry! I'm just… so cold down here! I can see my breath! Look!"

Navi blew as hard as she could, blasting out a cloud of air. "See?"

Link frowned in confusion before exhaling for himself. Nothing came out. "That's strange. Are you feeling all right, Navi? Are you wearing enough clothes?"

"Well, I wouldn't really call a velvet fairy dress and high heels enough clothes but… even so, you should at least be able to see your breath!"

"Well… Wait, I should. If you can see your breath, then how come I can't see mine?"

" **Have you two never heard? Only a select few get the shivers when a ghost is around.** "

Link and Navi both jumped as a deep, female voice droned across the room and four candles, one on each side of the circular, featureless room they ended up in, lit up red. This revealed a painting on the wall. A grumpy looking, rather deformed man was sitting on a rather expensive chair in the painting. As Link stepped closer to it, his head and hands caught fire. Despite this, his expression didn't change. As he got even closer, the man's entire body was engulfed in flames. One more step forward and the man was a pile of ashes.

"Who said that?" demanded Link, drawing the Master Sword with a **VUM!**

" **Are you deficient of hearing? I said: only a select few get the shivers when a ghost is around.** "

At first, Link ignored it, but when the statue in the middle of the room turned to face him he pointed the Master Sword at it. "What are you? A ghost? An empty set of armour? Are you messing with me?"

" **The reason your fairy friend is feeling freezing… is it because of the fire?** "

"You!" shouted Link, his hands quivering. "You're one of those pilfering pests from the main room! Give that fire back! We need it!"

The suit of armour swung its hands around to its front. It was hiding a **MASSIVE** **ZWEIHANDER** behind its back. "Oh, really? Prove it. Taste my blade and THEN see if you really need that puny flame."

With no hesitation, Link threw himself at the enigmatic enemy, shouting as if he'd just started skiing down a 85° hill by accident. The guard kept its composure and raised its weapon up **WITH ONE HAND** to block it.

 **CHOWRRRR!**

"Argh!"

Link had expected the Master Sword to cut right through the black sword and the guard as a result, but no chance. As powerful as the Master Sword was, this blade appeared to be… even tougher.

" _How is this even possible?"_

As Link thought about what had just happened, the guard winded up for a counter.

" **HAAAAAAAR!** "

"Link! It's attacking!"

As the greatsword sped towards him like the bullet train on steroids, Link threw his shield up...

 **GONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

Oh, is that Big Ben? Sorry, everyone, I have to go to college! See you in the next chapter!

…

…

…

Hold up, I don't even live in London! It turns out that the ringing was Link being unable to fully block the sheer force of the guard's blow. He was sent flying across the room and straight into the wall.

 **CRUMP!**

"Ow… my back!"

Navi danced in front of his eyes. Not because someone left the background music on, but because Link's sight was all messed up. "Are you all right?"

"Just my back. That's all."

Link inspected the Hylian Shield for damage, and he kind of knew what he was going to see, yet he was still astonished that it lacked any scratches. Any other shield would have been ripped clean in two.

" **Is that all? I thought the Hero of Time would be a bit more… fixed to the ground.** "

"I'll show you 'fixed to the ground', bucket-head!"

Link charged at the soldier, who just stood there leaning on its sword as if it were a walking stick. This was so suspicious that Link was actually surprised that it didn't throw a counter when Link slashed its arm clean off.

 **KZZZTTZTZTSCHZSHZT! CLANG!**

"No reaction?"

Link could almost see a grin through the guard's mask as the discarded arm armour rose back into the air. It revolved in place before screwing itself squarely back into place.

" **No 'arm done, eh?** "

OK, which one of you wrote that in my script?

"Link! Go for the head! Knock its block off!"

Taking Navi's advice, Link spring up past the guard, his sword hanging low. In one quick attack, he lopped the helmet of the enemy clean off, which fell straight to the floor.

 **ZOWRRR! CLANG!**

"Please tell me that's it."

The guard stood erect, its head presumably missing with its helmet.

Like with the arm, the helmet magically rose up into the air. With the sound of air whooshing, it fastened itself back onto the body.

" **Let's not lose our heads here!** "

"I have had it up to here with your rubbish jokes already!"

Oh, so have I. Anyway, in an annoyed frenzy, Link charged at the suit of armour and engaged in a sword lock. The knight was so strong it was able to hold its weapon and block with only one hand, but the Master Sword itself seemed to rival that strength alone. The knight was obviously having a lot of trouble keeping up, and so was its sword. Slowly, surely, it started wearing away. Little, burning red dents started to form on the curve where the swords connected. The two didn't say a word as they began struggling against each other's weapons. All they did was grunt in concentration.

 **CHZASSOWWWWW!**

Much to Link's surprise, the Master Sword randomly split the enemy's greatsword clean in half before moving on for its second meal.

" **Ah...!** "

Dead silence.

Link had split the suit of armour clean in two. It stood standing for several seconds before the two halves clattered to the floor, releasing…

a ghost.

"How dare you!" squeaked the spectre, its voice now amusingly high-pitched. "Now I sound like a dog toy without that suit!"

Through his seriousness, Link found… a smile breaking through. Whatever brain cell it was that controlled humour was taking a battering ram to his stoic lips. Soon, he found himself laughing.

"Pffft! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

"What's so funny!" hissed the ghost, igniting its red torch.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! I'm sorry…" chortled Link, clutching his sides. "It's just… You sound like you just sucked all the air out of a party balloon!"

"So, you think I sound funny, do you?" The ghost was getting more and more angry by the second. Its red, torn robes began intensifying in colour. Its yellow eyes, which were just floating in a black abyss that lacked a face, turned red. "Do you have any idea of who I am?"

"A dog whistle? **HA, HA, HA!** "

Because Link was doubling over laughing, he didn't notice Navi's sudden look of realisation that the two had just landed in **VERY DEEP DOODOO.**

"Um… Link? Do you remember the book? The short one?"

"The short one? You mean J-... oh. Oh, crumbs!"

The ghost before him started twitching furiously. Its torch got brighter and more intense. "I'm short all right. AND SO IS MY TEMPER!"

With a look of complete and utter rage, the ghost's eyes became fireballs as she charged through the air towards Link, swinging her torch as if it were a sword. Comprehending what was happening, Link leaped to the side. Even as the attack missed, that didn't seem to leave Jo open as she got straight back on the offence. She turned around to face Link, pointed her torch like it was a gun and shot a steady stream of fire like a flamethrower.

With no time to dodge, Link held up his shield as the jet shot towards him. It was not nearly as intense as King Dodongo's fire and Link was physically stronger this time. The result was the fire splitting on Link's shield and flowing around him instead of onto him. Slowly, Navi sheltering behind him, he advanced on the ghost.

"Link, wait for her fire to run out!" called Navi over the din of flames. "It's weakening!"

Link's red hot shield absorbed more and more fire as Link stepped closer and closer to his foe.

"Get away from me! GET AWAAAAAY!" The former lady screamed, empowering her flame to try and drive Link away. It was getting very hot behind that shield. Link was beginning to sweat and he was even getting a few burns from embers that sneaked past his defences. The voice came from directly in front of him, so Link swung his burning blade.

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Despite the chilling scream of the demon, when Link looked to see if she was gone again…

she was.

Just not in the way either Link or Navi wanted.

"Link, don't fall for that ruse!" shouted Navi. "She's not dead! She's invisible! I can sense her!"

"I'm pretty sure she's dead. She wouldn't be a ghost if she was alive."

"You're missing the point! Here she comes!"

Hearing Jo screaming, Link dived to the left and out of the way as the ghost blasted past in a jet of fire as if it was a plane in the stratosphere. Wordless, Link whipped the Hookshot out of his bag, pulled the trigger and…

 **Clack! Clattaclattaclattaclatta…** "AIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The hook sank clean into the red rags of the ghost. Instead of withdrawing the chain, Link heaved it over his head and slammed it to the floor on the other side, swinging Jo over him and to the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Then, he swung it over his head and slammed her to the floor on the other side.

 **BASH! BASH! BASH! BASH! BASH!**

Jo hurled about like an inverted pendulum, onto one side, onto the other, then onto the first side again, It was like something out of a cartoon.

A minute of metronomic monster mashing later, Link finally decided that enough was enough so he withdrew the chain, taking the ghost with it. Next, he held the Master Sword straight out ahead of him.

The result was like someone falling down a pit and onto a bed of spikes. Jo was pulled at speed towards the sharp spike of the sword and…

 **BZAOW!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

Jo's anguished shriek faded out into nothingness, as did she. All that was left was her torch. Like it had just been released from a string attached to the ceiling, it fell to the floor and somehow stayed upright as if it had a magnet attached to the bottom.

One flame had been restored.

" _Problem is..."_ thought Link, _"we have three more to go."_

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship._ _"_


	29. The Penultimate Flame

The west courtyard.

The sun had started to set by this point. Link had been trolling through the mansion for the last three hours, looking anxiously for the next ghost.

She wasn't in the wine cellar. The bottles did start floating and crashing to the floor, though, and he had to evacuate because of the stench of ancient wine.

She wasn't in the master bedroom. The duvet did float up and try to suffocate Link under it, but it seemed to forget that he had a sword.

She wasn't in the shower. He… kind of dodged a bullet there.

She wasn't in the conservatory. The ping pong paddles did start rising and playing a game of table tennis by themselves, though.

She wasn't in the attic. Some rascal had painted an open door on the wall and he'd tried to walk through it like a cartoon, so he ended up slashing the painting prank to pieces out of frustration.

This chase had led him to a garden to the left of the mansion. It smelled much better than the one on the right, but that one took some beating. The problem with this area wasn't the fact that it had stale food all over the place, but it was HEAVILY overgrown and the stream that ran across the middle of the place was muddy brown.

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

But what drew his attention stood in the middle of a garden with grass blades taller than himself.

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

A bell tower.

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

This is why Link had gone back into the house, ran up a broken flight of steps and was now shimmying across a narrow ledge at the top of the building to try and jump up to the top and get in.

"Don't look down." said Navi as Link walked sideways like a crab across the narrow ledge, circumventing a gargoyle.

"SSSSSHHH!" hissed Link as he screwed his eyes shut as tight as he could to avoid looking down immediately. "Don't say that! You know what saying that will make me do!"

"Sorry… but just in case, all right?"

The deafening ringing got louder and louder as Link stepped over moss, statues and cracks until he began to get within jumping distance of the bell tower.

Link watched the giant, rusty bell swinging back and forth in the tower like a pendulum. Below it was a large hatch that the rope of the bell hung down into for the person below to pull on.

" _Maybe one of those ghosts is the operator."_

 **POW!**

Seeing a red hot projectile flying his way, Link leaped to the side, barely landing back on the edge. What he thought was a statue had extended its arm and fired a ball of explosive energy straight at him.

 **BOOOOOOOOM!**

Missing him, the attack smashed into the sloped ceiling behind him, leaving an impact crater in its place.

"Link! It's Beth!" cried Navi as the bell kept chiming. "Just use your sword to reflect her attacks! Your shield will just get you thrown back!"

Link gave his partner a confused look, but he did as he was told, putting the Hylian Shield away and taking the Master Sword in both hands. Beth groaned in frustration before spicing up for another attack. She shot another ball of energy out from her outstretched hands. As it drew close, Link swung the Master Sword away from himself.

 **VUM! DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

On connection, the sacred blade sent the ball of powerful energy flying back towards Beth, who sprung out of the way. Instead of hitting her, the attack smashed into the bell, creating another cacophonous clang.

I wonder where I put those earplugs, pillows and ear defenders…

Now angry at how hard it was to land a hit, Beth began throwing consecutive energy blasts at Link, who kept deflecting them all over the place. Thankfully, they all completely missed the bell. The moment an opportunity rose, Link leaped through the air and landed on the bell tower, forcing Beth to retreat towards the…

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

...bell.

Link chased her around the corner and blocked yet another blast with his sword. This one hit Beth and shoved her onto the floor. From up close, Link could see that she wore a hospital gown and had blue skin.

As the bell swung over her, Link ran at her and held the Master Sword to her neck. "Who are you working for?" he demanded.

Well, as he spoke, the bell swung back overhead, the clapper hitting the bronze and making another deafening dong. All that Beth could hear was…

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

"What?"

"You heard me!" insisted Link, bringing the Master Sword closer. To support him, Navi turned red with anger.

"I didn't! Really!" Beth insisted. "What did you say?"

"I said..."

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

"...who is the boss of this place?"

Beginning to sweat a purple liquid, Beth's lower lip trembled.

"Phantom Ganon!"

Withdrawing his sword, Link dragged Beth away from the ringing bell. "Who's that? Has Ganondorf snuffed it?"

"No! Phantom Ganon is his minion! I don't know what he does! I just attack anyone he tells me to! That's my job!"

"Well, I suppose you could call that a job." said Navi.

"Yeah. I've put a bit of time into it so far. If I keep up, I can get enough Mewt to get my life back!"

Assuming that 'Mewt' was some afterlife currency, Link moved onto interrogating her about Phantom Ganon. "What does this 'Phantom Ganon' guy look like?"

"I don't know. Really! I'm not even allowed to bring him his afternoon drinks! All I know is that his voice is a bit… muffled, and it sounds like he's wearing armour..."

Beth continued talking, but Link could no longer focus on what she was saying. He couldn't even get distracted by the blasting bell. All he could think about was his last conversation with Saria. That laugh at the end of it, to be specific.

 **Hua, ha, ha, ha!**

What bought him back to life was Beth starting to aim her hand at him. Link quickly drew his sword and pointed it at her as a warning.

"For some people, like you, for example, I get a special bonus!"

"I'm honoured(!)"

"I could even get back to life from you!"

What Beth was saying was making Link feel awful about what he was about to do, but he needed that flame back.

"If you want your life back, then you might want to duck a bit."

"What?"

Beth looked behind her, but it was too late to get away. Unlike Jo, she had no superspeed or floating powers. With a scream, she ran for her… life, I suppose you could say, but the bell smashed directly into her.

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!** " **OW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

Link watched with mixed satisfaction and mixed guilt as the ghost tumbled through the air, the sickening crunch being more than enough to make him feel queasy. He was very lucky that the surrounding grass was very tall and blocked his vision.

"Come on, Link." said Navi softly, clearly understanding his guilt. "Lets go down the rope."

Silently, unable to look away from the imprint in the grass, Link grabbed the thrashing rope and slid down into the tower.

 **VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

* * *

Link's palms, despite the gloves, felt like they were on fire as he sped down the shaft at great speed.

" **ARGH!"**

He sneaked a peek below himself as the lights of the room allowed him to see. He didn't have any time to react to it, but he dropped straight to the floor to see that…

no one was ringing the bell. It was just swinging up and down on its own accord.

Link stomped his foot on the floor. "I have had it with these blasted ghosts!"

"So have I, Link. So have I."

Link kicked the floor in frustration, but he felt his boot hit something with force. "Ow!" In the darkness, he could see a lid opening in front of him.

"Link, what did you open?" said Navi as she flew into what turned out to be a treasure chest to see what was inside. "Hey! Look!"

Frowning, Link reached inside the chest and pulled out what he felt. It was a cylindrical, leather case with a leather strap meant to go around your shoulder. It came with a curved, smooth piece of wood that had a thin but strong piece of wire running up it.

It was a bow and arrow.

* * *

Back inside the mansion, Link pulled on the bowstring of his new weapon. Its wood was smoothly varnished and the area where it was supposed to be held had a ring of plastic around it for a secure grip. "This is kind of like the slingshot I made… back in my time."

Remembering his innocence, Link's mind time travelled to when he was just ten years old, his preferred age by far, when he made that slingshot. He had sat in his treehouse with the stick he found and spent an hour whittling away at the parts sticking out. As he learned how to use it, he always thought it was a miracle that he didn't accidentally hit a beehive.

Now, however, the slingshot was too small for him to use. This bow was a good replacement until he got back to his normal time.

Well, IF he got back to his normal time.

Swallowing his fear of having lost seven years of his life, Link nocked an arrow to it and began pulling on the bowstring some more.

"Be careful with that thing, Link!" squeaked Navi as the bowstring twanged taut. "Those arrows look really sharp! One wrong move and-"

 **Creak...**

" **AAAAAARGH!** "

A sudden creaking sound from an overhead support beam behind him made Link about face and release his bowstring. The arrow whistled through the air like a torpedo and crashed through a large, circular window like it was a target.

 **SMAAAAASH!**

"See?" groaned Navi, "You're going to have someone's eye out!"

This was a common saying in Kokiri Forest, used both by fairies and Kokiri. It was something they said a LOT. According to the Kokiri:

→ A stray ball,

→ a tangled vine on the floor,

→ a branch at face level

→ and even a pea that someone dropped on the floor at dinner could apparently have someone's eye out.

"I'll get the hang of it." said Link "I just need some monster to practice it on."

Link turned right and found a door with a tall, rectangular window of various colours tucked away between two bookshelves.

He hadn't been through this one yet and he'd turned everywhere else upside down looking for the last remaining ghosts, so the last ones just HAD to be in there.

"Navi, keep a lookout behind me for an ambush." Link ordered. Navi nodded affirmatively.

Without hesitation, Link kicked the door open, forgetting about the glass and smashing it as he did so, hissing in surprise. A little humiliated, he ran inside and slammed the door behind him, causing even more glass to tinkle to the floor.

As he walked down the corridor, his adventure was turned upside down.

* * *

Around and around in circles went the corridor that unravelled past the door. It defied physics. It defied reality. It defied anything that could ever happen.

Like it was a giant snake, the entire hallway, walls and all, twisted and turned in a full 180° angle like a corkscrew. An elegant, red carpet was sticking to the floor all the way around. This carpet was either fastened on or the floor where the carpet was had a gravitational pull of some sort.

What was even stranger was that, despite all this, Link did not fall straight down after the first five feet. He didn't even notice the corkscrewing corridor as he was too busy looking for any traps. It was only when he looked back and saw that the entrance was now on the top half of the wall did he question anything. "Navi, what on earth?"

"This is the Twisted Tunnel." replied Navi as she dizzily flew backwards behind Link to warn him of any approaching enemies. "Keep an eye on the floor here. If you see a shadow above you, make a run for it."

"Why?"

"Wallmasters."

Link looked at her, unimpressed. "Navi, this place is bloomin' ancient. Why would there be a walling company working in here?"

"What? No, they're not a walling company!" Navi moaned, "Wallmasters are monsters that hang from the walls, as their name suggests. When they spot prey, they leap off, make a terrifying noise and grab them and… who knows what happens next!"

"What sound do they make?"

Link fell silent to listen to Navi and, instead of a response, he got an impression.

"Whoooooooo **oooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOSH!** "

If the fairy was using her voice, then that was one heck of an impression! It rivalled Joe Pasquale's impression of a horse!

"Navi, that was uncanny! How did you do that?" said Link, gobsmacked, but the colour had drained entirely from Navi. Just seeing this began to make Link's face start burning with stress.

"That… wasn't me."

Both Link and his fairy exchanged a look, with fearful faces that would haunt each other for days, before Navi said one word…

"Run."

It was as if he had just quickly drank a large can of Monster. Knowing that he was about to be pounced on, Link leaped and then ran away like a green cheetah, swirling around and around and around until he no longer knew which way was up. Navi chased after him, yellow from fright. All the breath was now fleeing from his body. His lungs burned with exertion. Every few steps, he looked behind him to see if he'd lost whatever this 'Wallmaster' was, only to succeed in dizzying himself from the whirling corridor. From the speed he was travelling at, the corridor was like a hypnotism spiral.

Agonisingly close to the exit of the corridor, Link felt all the breath squeezed out of him as Navi screamed from inside his hat, making it glow black with sheer terror. Link couldn't speak. He could only let out a muffled gasp as a set of mouldy appendages folded around his waist.

They smelled like a dead body had been stuffed in an old locker for decades.

They looked like a set of mouldy old sausages.

With difficulty, Link turned his head to see what these things were.

They were fingers, which were attached to a hand,

which was attached to nothing.

Link thrashed left and right to dislodge the icy fingers of fate, which let out a spooky groan from somewhere. Wrenching his arm out of a gap in the monster's fist, Link clamped his own around one of the hand's fingers. It squished alarmingly like a rotten apple, but Link held his lunch back and forced the enemy off of him. He spun the monster around by its finger as he tried to ignore the gaping wound where it had been severed from its arm. The Wallmaster scratched at Link with its remaining fingernails, which would cause an infection in a second if they were to cut him, but Link kept his distance fairly well. When he was facing the way he came, he let go.

Now, do you remember when I suggested that the carpet was being gravitationally pulled to the floor as it spun around the ceiling? Well, that's our answer. As Link let go, the Wallmaster flipped and swirled through the air as it bolted down the corridor. It was like some very weird red arrows performance. With a loud parping noise, the monster hit the wall and burst like a balloon. The wall above the door was vandalised and violated as dark, vomit-like liquid coated it entirely.

And the smell.

My good aunt on a skateboard, that STINKS!

"Oh, I think I am going to honk!" moaned Link as he pinched his nose.

"Well, I'm staying in here, then!" replied Navi.

"Let's just move on!"

* * *

Link choked through the doorway and into the next room. It appeared to be a laundry room of some kind. The walls and the floor were bare and three lines of washing had been hung out to dry…

indoors.

It seems that ghosts aren't really the brightest bulbs, are they?

Anyway, in the middle of the room was a little pole, fashioned into the shape of the Master Sword in its pedestal.

"All right, Navi, what in the world is this thing?"

"It's a ghost finder!" answered Navi. Link looked at her as if she had just declared it a flawless sculpture of Pegasus.

"A what?"

"You lift up that pole up and then drop it." started Navi. "It then makes a loud clang which produces a ring that annoys ghosts! This will make them angry and soon you'll have those fire-flinging pests right where you want them!"

"That… is the dumbest thing I have ever heard."

Navi gave a long, drawn out sigh. Her impatience began to show with a slightly annoyed, shallow red. "Just try it. Once we have three dozen ghosts crawling all over you, then you'll believe me."

Link rolled his eyes in a way that screamed "Oh, all right!", placed his hands around the cold metal of the weapon and lifted it up. for a very brief moment, his mind flashed back to the time he retrieved the Master Sword.

Behind him, unbeknownst to him, a green ghost was hard at work beating a carpet. She wielded a curled bamboo carpet beater and was sending dust flying with every single hit. To finish the job, she winded up for a big swing…

...right as Link dropped the ghost finder.

 **CLANG!**

Her one eye widening with surprise, the ghost tossed her carpet beater into the air before juggling it up and down like a hot potato. When everything finally settled down, she eyed the carpet beater from every angle.

" _I don't know my own strength!"_ she thought as she somehow morphed her eye into a toothy mouth and blew on the end.

"What did I tell you, Navi? It didn't work." complained Link as he frustratedly hit the quillion of the ghost finder.

"Link… just try it again. Maybe you didn't release it hard enough." Navi suggested.

Cringing about how this would probably just end up with him going on a wild goose chase with this thing, Link lifted up the handle again…

Meanwhile, the little green ghost moved her carpet beater through the air to test the aerodynamics of it.

It cut through the air with the greatest of ease. Maybe that was the cause of the sudden burst of strength earlier?

Still suspicious, the squinting ghost tapped the rod of the beater against her skinny, bony palm.

 **CLANG!**

This time, the ghost dropped the cleaning contraption straight to the floor and looked at her hand to check for injuries.

" _How am I doing this? Why is my carpet beater having a conniption fit?"_

Picking up the carpet beater once more, the ghost tried again…

 **CLANG!**

The spook turned red with rage, snapping its carpet beater in half. " **Who the blazes is making that noise?** "

Link felt a chill up the back of his neck as the green ghost shot up behind him, its green torch in hand. The penultimate flame. Quick as a flash, Link drew the Master Sword and parried her perfectly. "All right, Navi. You were right." he said with a rather nervous laugh.

"Never mind that!" snapped Navi as she focused on the ghost. "That is Amy! She seems to be in an uncontrollable, bratty rage at the moment, so just take her down!"

" **What did that little firefly call me?** " snarled Amy, swishing her torch around.

"You heard me!" Navi jeered, turning red. "You're a spoiled little brat who can't do anything right!"

After Link had read the book in the library, he knew what Navi was trying to do. He was trying to wind Amy up so she would drop her guard, but she had a crucial flaw in her plans.

All this did was make her ROYALLY infuriated. " **YOU!** "

She almost completely disintegrated Link with only the aura of her rage, let alone with the frenzied barrage of torch swings that followed. " **BURN! BURN! BURN!** "

"Navi! That didn't help at all!" panted Link, sharp, stress-induced pins and needles pricking his head.. He struggled to keep up with all the mad swings being thrown in his way. Despite not being hit once, he could feel the hot air burning his face. All he could do was hold up his shield and hope that the ghost's blind fury would stop her from circumventing his defences. And then…

everything stopped.

The ghost had pulled a Houdini. Maybe she had seen the Master Sword and made a run for it. Wherever she went, Link needed to find her or Saria was doomed.

"Link… get your bow ready." said Navi, turning yellow from Amy's presence. "I can still see her aura, and she is right behind you."

"Really? I can't see her!"

"She turned invisible! I can see her aura, and she is right behind you, waiting to charge you."

Link pretended not to notice Amy as her invisibility slowly begun to wear off. She clearly thought he was none the wiser but he was stealthily nocking his bow with an arrow.

" **TAKE THIS!** "

Amy lowered herself, extended her torch and charged straight at Link, who turned and fired a counter of his own. Amy's charging scream was cut off and replaced by an agonised shriek as the arrow pierced her right through, taking her with it and burying itself into the wall. Amy was still attached to the end like a piñata. For a moment, she gargled and groaned, trying to remove the arrow, but she slowly disappeared into ashes, dropping her torch to the floor. Like with Jo's, it stood on end, signifying that its flame had been returned to its original torch.

"Three down." said Navi, turning a relaxed green from the sudden lack of stress.

"Just one to go. Meg."

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day**_

* * *

 _"Don't try to make me grow up before my time."_


	30. Scary Face

Red.

Blue.

Green.

Finally, violet.

Link only had one flame left to get, but something was buzzing around his head and it wasn't Navi.

"Link?" said Navi, noticing the worry in his eyes. Link continued walking through the corridor. It was a different one this time. It was not twisting and turning like an Alton Towers attraction and there was a big, open entrance to the main room in the manor. "Is something wrong? We're almost there!"

"I don't understand it, Navi." replied Link frustratedly. "We've been through almost every inch of this house and we've only found three ghosts! Where can the last one possibly be?"

"Maybe she… wafted under the floor into the art gallery?" Navi suggested. As she often did, she turned green with thought.

"Oh, great(!) Please don't say stuff like that."

"What? You asked me for my opinion."

"I didn't know you would say something like that!"

"Or maybe… she was just hiding for a while to prepare."

Link deeply sighed as he found the exit of the corridor.

Three of the four torches had lit back up, as Link had expected. Only the violet flame was missing.

" **Sisters...** "

A heartbroken voice tinkled across the room. Link looked at Navi, caring. "Was that you? What's wrong?" he said.

"That isn't me. It's coming from the middle of the room."

" **Sisters… My poor sisters...** "

Sisters? The little women were all sisters…

Oh, crud.

Link crept down the broken staircase, making sure not to make any noises, and when he got to the centre of the room, he noticed that something there was new.

In the middle of the room, illuminated red, blue and green by the golden torches, was a heap of violet rags. Two thin, bony hands stuck out of the pile and they quivered disturbingly. " **Who would do such a thing?** "

Link silently drew his sword as Navi hid in his cap so that her light wouldn't give her away. He felt exactly as he did about Beth. He knew what he was about to do was unnecessarily brutal, slaying a grieving ghost, but the whole forest was in danger. He would do what he had to do.

Finally, he reached the crying creep and lifted his sword high into the air for the kill…

 **Hummmm…**

completely forgetting that the Master Sword's aura made buzzing noises when it was moved around. Link's heart stopped, as did Navi's.

The ghost stopped crying. With an angry grumble, she quickly vanished without a trace left behind. Then she reappeared directly in front of Link, her eyes red and narrowed.

Wait… no, she didn't. She appeared behind him.

Um… To the sides as well? What's going on? Do I need glasses? Where did I put the phone number for Seymour Opticians?

" **You will know every twinge of pain and suffering you have caused my sisters!** " roared every enraged wraith. All in unison, they lifted their lanterns up, igniting them with violent, violet fire. " **DIIIIIIIIIIIE!** "

With a scream that almost broke every window in the entire house, all copies of the ghost flew at Link like a faction of policemen closing in on a hapless robber. Unlike all the other ghosts, this time he couldn't block every assault. He felt a solid, gold-plated pain on his back along with an awful burning sensation.

"OW!" Powered by the pain, Link turned and drove his humming sword through the two ghosts behind him. As soon as it made contact, they just… vanished. No burst of smoke, no flames, no disintegration, they were just there one moment and then they were gone without a trace.

In simpler terms, he had hit two fake ghosts.

"Navi! Is this Meg?" said Link as he rubbed his burns, "That book said that Meg was a snob and that she's a right fancy-pants! It never said she was such a… witch!"

"Never mind that!" argued Navi, flying off at 5 o'clock, "here she comes again!"

Right where Navi was, Meg… or one of her doubles, charged through the air out of a clear portal, which appeared out of absolutely nowhere. As Navi hid behind him, Link threw up his shield.

 **CLANG!**

In seconds, he found himself having to turn around and block another strike from another double.

 **CLANG!**

And another one from his blind spot.

 **CLANG!**

Still another.

 **CLANG!**

"Link, roll!"

 **CLANG!**

Timing his escape, Link waited until his shield took another hit before he rolled out of the big ball of violence, leaving Meg and her clones attacking nothing. "How do I find out which one of her is real?" Link asked Navi. The poor fairy was yellow as she wildly flew over the heads of the doubles, trying her hardest to keep up with all of them.

"The real one… has a kind of… tic!" shouted Navi between gasps for breath.

"A tic?"

"Yes! She'll… spin around!"

Ultimately, Meg realised that Link had escaped and stopped attacking. Instead of her blind but strong approach, she lined herself and all her doubles up in a horizontal formation.

" **See if you can crack this!** "

With that, the ghosts all raised their lanterns and began to shoot slow-moving little wisps at Link. The very slow speed of the projectiles caught him off guard and several times, Link batted them away too soon, completely missing the fire and getting horribly burned.

"OW!"

Frustratedly dusting the areas of impact, Link drew his bow and aimed it at all four doubles.

" **Just try it! You can't tell us apart anyway! How do you think you can tell us all apart?** "

Link moved the bow back and forth like he was scanning a row of convicts. He trusted Navi with all his heart, but that didn't mean she was right 100% of the time.

"Link! Look at the one that spins!" cried Navi, locking onto all of the Megs in a random order. "I'll look with you!" Her partner's eyes followed Navi as the Megs kept firing. Slowly, surely, Link found the right way to dodge. He rolled and jumped over the slow flames and their speed meant that they could not turn around to try again in time before they vanished. Sweating and grinding his teeth in frustration, Link began to speed up his switching of targets. Not one of them spun around!

The lot fired another barrage of attacks and, as they did, the one second from the right did an elegant twirl as she opened fire. Like he was doing a quick draw, Link turned his bow on her and released the string.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!** "

* * *

Time slowed down the moment the arrow ripped through the ghost. Her scream grew echoey as the visuals suddenly grew blurry all over. As she writhed slowly, her doubles were all destroyed in a single plume of purple smoke. Link got up and ran to finish her off, but he was effected by the slowdown too. No matter what, he ran at half the speed he would have been going at. It was so uncomfortable that when time reverted back to normal he ended up toppling straight over.

" **You... Do you know just how much pain and suffering you cause others?** " grumbled Meg, pulling the arrow out of herself and pointing it straight at Link like she was an angry teacher telling off a disruptive student.

"No, as a matter of fact." Link responded, slowly stepping towards Meg with the Master Sword.

"Stop trying to earn our mercy!" Navi added, turning dark purple with frustration.

" **You don't do you? Then what about...** " The ghost paused scarily, its eyes narrowing into a grin-like expression. " **that spider you split in half? It was just an innocent little crust spider!** "

"Innocent?" echoed Link incredulously, "That monster killed the Great Deku Tree and it almost killed me! It deserved to be cut down to size!"

" **And what about all those raptors in the forest? They're not monsters! No corruption, no evilness, they are meat eaters, so they attack whatever they perceive as weak prey! They have no idea that what they are doing makes them a villain to you lot of kids! Then you go and stab them, rip their blocks off and leave one with no way to walk! How is that self defence?** "

"I thought that they were eating my friend! Speaking of which, let me get to her!"

Link lunged desperately at Meg with his sword to finish her off while she was talking, but the girl raking him away with ease with her long nails, sending him skidding across the floor.

"Link! Are you OK?" squeaked Navi, flying to his aid.

" **Now, witness my TRUE form!** "

Cackling like a demon out of Death Mountain, Meg rose into the air, surrounding herself with a flock of bats and violet smoke. They all covered her completely and spread out, taking up more and more room. Her laugh got deeper and deeper as the circle of bats grew to the size of a small bedroom.

" **HA, HA HA HA HA HA! HAAAA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!** "

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

With a mighty roar and an explosion, all the bats dispersed. What had they been covering?

An absolutely enormous raptor. Parts of it were made up of solid, metallic magic, such as its neck, an area on its chest and one of its legs. It was purple to match Beth and it almost took up the entire room.

" **You will know the true definition of pain and suffering! The same kind you caused those raptors!** " growled Beth, baring her sharp teeth.

The giant dinosaur took one giant step straight at Link, who was quite lost on what to do. One of its legs was made of hard magic so he couldn't hamper its movement as easily, its neck got the same treatment so there was no lopping it off and its heart was protected as well. Was there any stopping this thing?

" **This body is made up of the** **souls of the** **raptors you slaughtered! One of them was even alive for a while after you severed its leg! Every single one is gasping for revenge!** "

"Navi, run!" With that, Link ran to the right as the giant, ghostly raptor put its foot down on where he once was. It was so powerful that it broke all the glass off the ceiling. It also disturbed several birds who were roosting within the eaves of the house and within seconds the mansion was full of crows squawking and flapping all over the place.

"In here!" Shining as brightly as she possibly could, Navi signalled a door on the side of a large flight of steps. Wasting no time, sans looking behind him to see if Meg was still watching him, Link ran inside and slammed the door... stepping straight into a bucket as he stumbled into the darkness.

"Bucket bum! I thought I was over that!" exclaimed Link before Navi put her finger over his lips.

"Sssssh! Be quiet! She'll hear you!" she whispered. As she spoke, she slowly stopped glowing so that her light wouldn't bleed through the cracks in the door and give her away. "Did you hear what she said? Those raptors all want you gone!"

"Yeah!" agreed Link, smiling nervously, "That has literally come back to bite me!"

"Enough with the jokes. We need to focus. How are-"

" **Where are you? Come out so we can GRIND YOU TO SHREDS!** "

Link and Navi both froze on the spot as the monster's voice blasted across the foyer, but it appeared to be drawing further and further away from the pair. Link calmed himself down with some deep breathing, but his heart was still thumping like a judge's gavel. "As I was saying..." continued Navi, "what is our battle plan for this?"

Link placed his hand on his beating heart to calm it down but it continued pumping even then. Surely, he would faint from exertion! His face was turning red. It was getting pranging pains like it was being jabbed by a cactus. "Sorry… Excuse me a moment..."

He took three calming breaths to steel his nerves a bit. "I'm thinking that I should use my bow. Maybe it has a weak spot somewhere around it or something!"

Navi nodded herself. "It's worth a shot! Maybe you could shoot it in the eyes or something!"

Link winced. "I'd rather keep my lunch down..."

"But you haven't had any yet!"

"You know what I mean! I'll try it, but it might not be pretty!"

" **I hear talking! Come out! Come out!** " Meg sang from outside in a singsong voice. The dissonance between her terrifying form and her clean, innocent voice was incredibly jarring. Link almost felt like he was going to be sick. He had that very low feeling in his heart that you would often get if you were ever separated from your parents in a very crowded city.

"We're restricted with space in here." Link stated, nocking his bow with an arrow. "I'm going in!" With that, he booted down the door and ran outside, leaving Navi in the cupboard.

"Good luck." She said to herself. Taking a deep breath, she flew out to help Link.

* * *

Meg's nostrils grew in size as she puffed steam out of them angrily. " **Where are you? I can smell you! Don't think you're off the hook yet because I'm the fish!** "

Still out of sight, quiet as a mouse, Link crept towards her, his bow nocked. He moved it around and focused his one open eye on different areas of her skin. That raptor that was eating from the remains of Saria's oven had such thick skin that even the Master Sword had difficulty finding purchase in it. If that body was made up of all three raptors he had fought combined, then there was no way an arrow of all things could break through it. Well, unless he fired it out of a cannon powered by all the dynamite in the world or something.

Link took one small step towards the monster.

 **Shff…**

He then took a step with the other foot.

 **Clang!**

Link's heart almost jumped out of his mouth as his second step made a loud clanging noise. Meg turned her scary face to look at him, startled by the loud clattering of metal. " **So! You thought you could sneak up on me with a bucket on your boot?** "

"What?" Link knew exactly what he was going to see when he looked down even though he was trying as hard as he could to not believe it, but…

he had a bucket on his boot.

* * *

I'm sure we've accidentally outed ourselves to someone when we we trying to stay hidden at some point. Here are just a few ways that can happen:

→ Going downstairs at night to raid the fridge and walking straight into a closed door, waking your parents.

→ Getting out of the shower, deciding you don't need a towel because you're home alone, going into your bedroom, turning the lights on and then revealing that all your friends were waiting in there for a surprise birthday party.

→ Forgetting to put your phone away on your way into class, stowing it in your pocket and, halfway through the lesson, your phone goes off with a really embarrassing ringtone.

→ Calling in sick to school, going to a Queen concert instead and finding out that your seat is right next to the headmaster's.

→ Re-enacting the opening scene of The Lion King with your cat and, thanks to your open windows, letting all your neighbours know.

→ Looking for flames to power an elevator in a cruddy old mansion, coming across a ghost from Little Women who can transform into a giant raptor, hiding in a cupboard under the stairs, getting your foot stuck in a bucket and then going back out to take it down silently and… forgetting to take the bucket off your foot first.

With any of those, you probably wouldn't be on the list of best Bond actors any time soon. With the 'Bucket-On-Foot' incident, Link would probably be on the list of shame forever.

" **You have a bucket on your foot.** " repeated Meg as if Link had just turned up for a meeting in this state.

"I know!" shouted Link, turning red with resentment as he wrenched the bucket off his foot and hurled it at Meg. All it gave her was a free lunch as she closed her jaws around it and compacted it like a car in a crusher. The metal shrieked and screamed as it was tossed around, across Meg's rough, purple tongue. It looked like a ball of kitchen foil when Meg was finished with it, at which point, she spat it out straight at Link.

 **FWSSSHOOM!**

Link's blade cut the sharp, metal ball clean in two before he leaped up at Meg. The dinosaur roared as it tried to bite Link in half but she missed and Link landed clean on top of her head.

" **Where are you? How did you get away so quickly? ANSWER ME!** "

Meg looked left and right to try and find her prey at some force and speed. Link had to grab onto a part of her head to avoid being flung off.

"Link!" came a high whisper as a trickle of light flew up towards him. "Where are you? Are you all right?"

"Ssshhh! She'll find us! Where is her weak point? Her eyes?"

"Well, no!" said Navi. She stuttered several times as if she was unable to put what she was thinking into words. "I found… um… Well… on those bits of it that are made of magic metal… they have these… red cores on them. I think those hold them together. Destroy them and-"

As Navi completely stopped talking because of her stress and inability to finish her sentence, Link finished for her. "They'll come off! Got you!"

The warrior leaped to his feet as gently as he could so Meg wouldn't feel him and ran to her glowing neck, bow primed and aimed. A small turret sat in the middle of it. On top of it was a pulsing, red orb. It pumped up and down like a big heart and it sounded like one too.

 **BOOM, BOOM, BEE-YOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BEE-YOOM…**

It looked like a balloon, and you know what balloons do when they meet a sharp object…

They burst.

 **Twoing! BANG!**

The second the bowstring had no fingers around it, the arrow pierced right through the core. The frail skin was stabbed straight through, leaving the sharp end of the arrow pointing out the other end. On its death throes, the growth flailed and inflated madly before exploding in a burst of orange blood.

Meg roared so loudly that she could be heard from the village. Like it was merely fastened on by weak bungee, her magic, metal covering came off, leaving her uncovered neck vulnerable.

" **How DARE YOU?** "

Meg jerked her head violently to the side, flinging Link off and onto the floor. His heavy shield took most of the impact but he hurt that one bone in his lower back, making it rather hard to walk.

"Are you all right?" asked Navi, flying over to Link's side as he painfully stood up.

"I'll… live! Link groaned, steadying himself. "I know how the rest of this goes!"

Bending his knees to take some of his pain away, Link nocked another arrow as Meg stared a hole through him, breathing visible steam out her nostrils. The reason her neck was protected appeared to be because it had been crudely stitched on. Link could see the massive stitches and string holding it onto her head.

" **You are a worthless excuse for a hero! I hope I kill you in the most painful way possible!** "

"Have fun doing that with no leg!"

Link let go of his arrow and it shot through the air once more. Meg tried to pluck it out of the air to stop it, but her arms were too short. The arrow found purchase in the core that was planted on her shin, which exploded just like the last one.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

Meg let out another blasting shriek, almost causing Link's ears to stop ringing. Just as her neck armour had done, her titaniferous leg fell apart, leaving only a stump in its place. The metal all crashed to the floor, bursting into purple flames as it did so.

" **YOU!** " shrieked Meg as she looked back and forth between her ruined leg and Link in a state of disbelief. " **What have you done?** "

Having nearly won, Link scrutinised the plate covering the dinosaur's heart. This one had no core…

It had an actual, exposed heart.

" **How much more pain do you plan on causing me!?** " Meg lunged at Link, unhinged. Her hot breath burned Link's face as he nocked one more arrow. He tried to ignore the malodorous drops of saliva that hit him straight in the face. With a smirk, he took aim at Meg's heart.

"Oh, not much. Just one more."

As Meg charged at him, Link let go of the bowstring one last time, stabbing straight through the beating heart on Meg's metal chestplate.

" **AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!** "

Meg stopped charging.

Link stopped moving.

It felt like time completely stopped.

"Link?" croaked Navi. She was horribly shocked and terrified. Link had never seen her more yellow. "Is it dead?"

Meg answered her question with one more cacophonous cry of pain. She stood erect and wobbled side to side like a giant jelly before her heart burst into purple fire. The flames enveloped her entire body as it began to turn black from the heat. Once she was well done, Meg disintegrated into black ashes, leaving only a small, purple fire behind. As you probably guessed, this flame spread onto the final torch.

That was it. Every flame had been returned to its rightful position on the four golden torches. Just as it should have, the box that had once sunk into a hole in the floor raised back into the air and with

"We did it, Link." said Navi blankly as her partner caught his breath. He was in no mood for talking now. "We can find Saria, Link? How about that?"

Navi's gentle voice made Link calm down. The prickly feeling in his head went away and the horror in his stomach faded. "You're right. Lets go and find her."

Putting his bow away, Link walked towards the red lift and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

"Why won't it go?"

It had been an awkward two minutes. Link and Navi had both been standing and then sitting in this contraption waiting for it to start moving by itself. After he'd waited enough, he had cracked the door back open and noticed he was still in the foyer. "Argh! Have we been tricked by those ghosts? Does this thing even move? Does-"

Link was cut off by Navi clearing her throat. When Link turned to look at her, she was buzzing around a big red button on the wall. Because of the serious mood of the situation, she was trying her hardest not to turn her amused pink. Slightly embarrassed, Link shut the door and pressed the button.

 **BoWEEP!**

 **FSSSSSSSSS!**

The button blared and flashed as the hydraulics kicked themselves into action with a train-like hiss. Link reached out to hold onto something but the lift abruptly shot off into the dark.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!** "

Link and Navi screamed and screamed as everything around them went dark and they felt themselves falling so fast that Link began to feel like he weighed nothing at all. He almost flew up into the air and he had to hold onto the sides to avoid doing so.

Eventually, the capsule came to a slow and steady stop before it hit the cold, marble floor.

 **Clack.**

* * *

 ** _Quote of the Day:_**

* * *

 _"_ _In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves._ _"_


	31. A Hot Knife Through Butter

The patterned doors of the lift hissed open with a puff of steam out of the exhaust pipes. Link took a step out of the lift and onto the shiny, church-like floor. The room was covered by a dark green tint that made it hard to see, but Link could clearly make out a few paintings that hung on the walls. One was of a dainty girl in a dress holding a nice, tasselled parasol. Another was a smartly dressed man holding a cup of coffee ready for a meeting of some kind, the next was a kind looking Kokiri girl who looked like she was having the time of her life playing tag and the last was of a portly, rich man with a black beard wearing a diamond-encrusted crown and red and gold velvet robes.

The art gallery.

Saria had said that she was very near the art gallery during Link's conversation with her. Mere seconds after, she was seemingly attacked by a monster. Recalling his confrontation with Beth about Phantom Ganon,

"Saria?" Link called quietly through the room. "Where are you? I'm here. Sorry I took so long. You can come out now."

A click sounded throughout the room as red, dim lamps flashed on, making the room look a lot more sinister than it already did. As the paintings lit up, more details became visible, such as a wimple on the girl in the dress, a distorted face for the smartly dressed man, a forest behind the Kokiri girl and… a sword being slashed at the rich man.

"Wait a minute!" shouted Navi, flying over to the painting of the smart girl, "Link, the paintings!"

The more the lights brightened, the more Link felt sick. The more he wanted to rub his eyes to see if he was seeing things. The more he wanted to wake himself up.

The paintings had been hiding dark details with darkness and when the lights got bright enough, he could make out every last one of them.

The girl in the dress was Princess Zelda on the edge of a plank attached to a ship, being approached by a Gerudo woman with a cutlass. In the water below her were the waiting jaws of a Dekudile.

The smartly dressed man with the coffee was Dampé, and he was standing on top of a pile of explosives, such as sticks of dynamite and barrels with red skulls painted on them.

The child playing tag was in the Lost Woods was being unknowingly chased by a ghost with a scythe of some kind. On closer inspection, she was the girl who had talked to Link after the Great Deku Tree passed.

Finally, a giant, double-handed sword was being swung at the wealthy man. It was being held by a pair of green hands with black fingernails. The rich man was the late King.

"Ganondorf!" hissed Link bitterly. "I hope those pictures aren't based on real events."

"I hope so too, Link." agreed Navi. She mixed red with yellow colours together due to anger and sickening dread, respectively. "At least Saria isn't on one of those paintings. Maybe she's still here."

"Don't say that!" Link snapped, taking Navi by surprise. "Zelda is on one of them! If being in a painting means that person is dead, that means..."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, Link. I didn't quite think what I was saying all the way through."

"That's all right. Lets continue on and find Saria. She has to be in here somewhere!"

Navi didn't reply out of shame. Instead, she stuck close to Link as he stepped around the elevated, square platform he was on for the way out. Little red ropes of waved on and on around the edge, joined together by metal bars like what protects exhibits in a museum. Link was contemplating just vaulting them but he could not see the bottom anywhere despite the room being fairly well lit.

"Link, over here!" motioned Navi. She turned blue to contrast with the red. "Some steps!"

Link followed her light, his gloved hand tracing the red rope until he felt a bronze ball in the way where the rope stopped. Navi's blue glow was lighting up a little gap that preceded a thin set of stairs and into a door. If Saria wasn't here, then she would be in there.

Sweat of anticipation beaded on Link's reddening forehead. He looked to the left.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

He looked to the right.

Everything was in order.

With nowhere else to look and stall for time, Link took one step over the threshold.

The threshold was a row of little holes in the floor.

The threshold that had little points emerging from said holes.

"Argh!"

Link dived backwards as a row of tall spikes lanced out of the ground like swords, nearly digging straight into his leg. "What was that?"

Navi flew back over the spikes to help her partner. "Are you all right?"

"Who put those spikes there? Those could kill someone!"

" **What do you two think you're doing, then?** "

A dark, deep voice and the whine of a horse split the air clean in two. No. It couldn't be. Here, of all places?

Link jumped up and turned around, recognising the animal and its rider the second he caught the slightest glimpse of it. A man clad in black and brown armour, this time wearing a helmet on his head that left his face exposed.

 **GANONDORF DRAGMIRE.**

"It's him!" he hissed to Navi. His face went redder with fury and grief at the mere sight of him. His hand itched to grab the Master Sword and slash him so hard that it would cause a rip in space. This man had become a walking berserk button to Link and the man clearly loved every second of it.

" **Pathetic!** " sneered Ganondorf, his face shrivelling in disgust. " **After** **all the** **good** **things I heard** **about all those monsters, they were crushed by a puny fly like you!** "

Despite having spoken before, Ganondorf's voice seemed slightly different than every other time he had spoken. It had the same rough scratch, it had the same deep tone, but this time it appeared to be a little muffled and low in quality as if he was speaking through an old microphone.

"Where's Saria?" demanded Link as he pointed the Master Sword straight at Ganondorf. He did not think he would be getting any more sword beams any time soon but in his anger, he swore that he could make one himself and split Ganondorf in half with such force, the beam would probably go smashing through the wall, out of the temple and all the way into the stratosphere.

" **Oh, Saria! You** **r precious friend and the damsel who raised you!** "

"Stop toying with me!" pressed Link, taking a step forwards and swinging his sword through the air. "Where is she?"

" **I remember every word of your little conversation!** " Suddenly, Ganondorf started thrashing wildly on his horse and putting on a high and deadpan voice. " **'Saria(!) Are you there(!) Are you OK(!) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!** "

Navi turned furiously red and flew over to Ganondorf, stopping inches from his face. "Enough!" she shouted, "What are you trying to say? What have you done?"

Ganondorf looked like he was hoping for the fairy to say that. Wearing a smile so wide that it made him look like a vampire, he displayed a sharp trident in front of him, almost spearing Navi after no doubt trying to.

Link wanted it to just be a paint job that was falling apart.

He wanted it to just be a spot of jam that fell onto it while Ganondorf was eating a jam sandwich.

He wanted it to be the blood of an animal that Ganondorf had slain.

He wanted to keep himself in denial, but the truth hit him like a steam train. He hadn't got to her in time. Saria was gone for good.

"What have you done?! **What have you done?!** " cried Link in anguish as he sank to his knees. He could hardly hold it back any more. He could feel that horrible taste of fluids building up in the back of his mouth. Navi stayed still in shock as Link crumpled to the floor. He was so stricken with guilt that he no longer knew who he was. He no longer knew that he existed. He wished this wasn't happening.

" **Her screams were music to my ears,** " scorned Ganondorf, a hint of sadistic glee in his muffled voice. " **as my trident dropped right through her soft flesh. It was like a hot knife through butter** **! Ah, ha ha ha ha!** "

Link gripped the Master Sword as hard as he possibly could. He held the hilt so hard that he was beginning to hurt his hand. "Gloat until you're blue in the face." he snarled as the blue light that coated it began to angrily brighten. " **I WILL MAKE THOSE WORDS YOUR LAST** **!** "

Link didn't even need Navi's targeting to be able to throw himself straight at Ganondorf, who bought his trident down in front of his steed. It didn't even look like he was holding it tightly. Nevertheless, the second the Master Sword hit it, Link was instantly overpowered and sent sliding back.

" **So you decided to bring the Master Sword, eh? Ha, ha ha! You should know by now! Surely I would think of a counter to my one and only weakness!** "

In the middle of his speech, Ganondorf swung his trident again, striking the Master Sword and sending Link skidding back against the ground. The second it hit, Link felt a dark bolt jolt through his entire body as if he'd been struck by lightning. "Link!" squealed Navi, flying to his aid.

"I'm gonna..." Link could only grunt insanely as he hauled himself back up.

" **With my counter plan in action, the Master Sword's divine energy won't harm me. Doesn't work now, won't work later, won't work ever.** "

Link tried to pay attention to the wizard's ramblings, but he had since noticed the odd quality of his voice.

He also remembered what Beth had told him back at the bell tower.

" _Phantom Ganon is Ganondorf's minion! His voice is a bit… muffled and it sounds like he's wearing armour!"_

Link no longer made out any more words of what Ganondorf was saying. He had put everything together. Ganondorf's voice was muffled and he was wearing more armour than he usually did. Even after he had fitted all the puzzle wedges in, it still took a moment for everything to click.

When it did, though, it hit him like a fireball from Ganondorf himself.

"Cut it!" Link snapped. His abrupt apprehensive tone caught the warlock off guard. "You're not Ganondorf!"

" **What?** "

"You heard me! You're not Ganondorf! You're a fake!"

" **No! Where on earth did you hear that rubbish? Who else could I be?** "

"I told you to cut it! I know who you are! Beth told me all about you, _**Phantom Ganon**_. You can't fool us!"

"Yeah!" added Navi, despite that not even crossing her mind. "Show your real self!"

Instead of replying, Ganondorf let another grin cross his face. He knew he had been outed. What else was there to lose? " **Very well, boy.** " he purred, " **It is me. Everyone's favourite spook! I… am PHANTOM GANON!** "

The monster tossed his helmet off and revealed a shock of red hair. He wasn't done there. With a growing, booming laugh, he covered himself in darkness.

" **Wuh, ha ha ha ha! WUH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!** "

With a small flick of his cape, he sent all the dark energy flying from around him at once. It buffeted Link like a sandstorm, forcing him to hide behind his shield. When he could face the monster without his lungs burning from the magic Phantom Ganon had dispelled upon him, he could see that his jawless skull was now completely naked. No flesh, skin, nose or eyeballs graced it, only sharp horns and red, glowing lights in his eye sockets. He kept his armour, his horse and his trident and the lighting made it look like he had stepped right out of a horror movie.

" **My horse has the power to travel through windows to other timelines like they are right next door! Ha, ha ha ha ha!** "

The fiend kicked his horse into top gear and, with a demonic whinny, it reared onto its back legs and charged straight at Link and Navi, who dived out the way just in time. However, the horse did not even have the intent of running Link over. Like it was one of Santa's reindeer, it rose into the air, still galloping, trailing dark red light behind it. Without having to be told by Navi, Link nocked his bow, pulled the string so hard that the weapon almost snapped clean in two and then he let it go.

But he was too late.

His target phased straight through Zelda's painting, leaving the exterior wobbling about as if the man and horse had just lightly flew through the surface of some water. Link's arrow harmlessly went ripping straight through the artwork's arm. Link cringed. _"Sorry, Zelda!"_

His target had escaped.

The Corpse Creator of the Copse:

 **PHANTOM GANON.**

* * *

"I lost him!" shouted Link. He still held his bow in his outstretched hand, which was shaking in his hand like an electric toothbrush. "He's gone! He just ran! All that talk and he couldn't even be bothered to get up and fight like a man!"

Link was so overtaken, so overpowered by his grief and anger, that he didn't notice the painting behind him bearing the image of a skeletal rider slowly growing bigger.

Navi gasped. "Link! Behind you! He's trying to sneak up on you!" she screeched like an off-key violin.

Enraged, the archer turned to face the painting of Dampé, bow loaded. As he turned, he passed the image of the King and saw something moving around in it. He speedily turned back to double-check. Navi was mistaken, so it seemed.

"Navi, he's over here in that painting of the King!"

"What? Look! He's in Dampé's painting!"

"I can see him in the King's painting with my own two eyes! Stop kidding around! This is serious!"

"I'm not! Look! He's in this painting! Right here! He's getting closer!"

"Oh, just… watch this!"

Link began to focus on the King's painting once more as the hateful horseman drew closer and closer, slowly regaining his third dimension as he emerged.

" **Hua, ha, ha ha!** "

Link let his arrow go with a twang as the swordsman emerged from the painting, causing another ripple in its surface, but he immediately turned and went back through, leaving the arrow to tear through the painting itself. "Coward!" Link called through the painting, "Stop running away then-"

"Link, run!"

In the process of looking back at Navi, Link's eye caught Dampé's painting.

She was right.

He swore up and down that he saw Phantom Ganon coming out of the King's painting. He could see with his own eyes that this was the case. However, he could see a white silhouette of the equestrian emerging from the painting of Dampé.

" **Let me hear you SCREAM!** " jeered the monster as he rode straight out of the painting, staff raised like a triumphant statue. The tip crackled with skin-meltingly hot electricity.

"What? How did-?" Link looked back and forth between the King's portrait and Dampé's portrait in confusion. In the King's, Phantom Ganon was riding away from him. In Dampé's, he was just emerging and charging at Link with his electrified trident pointed at him as if he were in a jousting competition. How could that be?

Wait a minute!

Shouting in surprise, Link dived out the way as Phantom Ganon thundered past him, his magic energy flashing for some extra power. " **Argh! Missed! Stay still so I can skewer you and shove you on a barbecue, you little maggot!** " the phantom groaned in frustration as Link drew his bow once more, but Phantom Ganon seamlessly recovered and disappeared through the Kokiri's painting, slowly fading off into a little speck.

"I told you he was in Dampé's painting!" Navi nagged as Link got his bearings. "He made a copy of himself to distract you!"

Link warily looked around the room as Phantom Ganon completely vanished from sight in the distance of the easel. As it completely vanished, it reappeared again from the same painting.

Two identical horses and riders approached Link from paintings directly next to each other. Slowly, surely, they grew in size as they reached the surface of the illustrations.

" **Hey! Hey! Kid!** " One of the Phantom Ganons, either the real one or the fake one, raised his hand above his head, proudly displaying his trident. " **I'm the real one! Over here!** "

Link sighed as he swung his bow over to the Phantom Ganon that wasn't talking. _"Do I look like I was born yesterday?"_ he thought to himself as he twanged the bowstring taut with an arrow.

" **He's telling porkies, boy!** " shouted the one he was aiming at. " **I'm the real Phantom Ganon! He's a phony baloney!** "

" **Aargh(!) Outed again(!) Why does my real counterpart always get me busted(!) Ha ha ha ha ha!** "

Link swayed his bow back and forth between the two bickering beasties as they jokingly pointed at each other and laughed their naked skulls off. He was never that good with calling out mindgames. This was why he was such an easy target for Mido. The Phantoms laughed ten times harder when they realised that their tricks were working wonders. Link was as lost as I get in a Maths paper. He could not tell which clone was real.

" **Are you ready for the big finish?** " asked one monster to his clone.

" **Yes! Lets finish him together!** "

As soon as the two pierced the centre of their respective painting, a vortex appeared behind one of them and the rider started to flash white while the other one just paused in midair rather strangely.

"Link! The glowing one!" called Navi over the din of crackling thunder. "Shoot him!"

The glowing one! Of course! Link reacted fast, turned to the real Phantom Ganon and pulled his fingers away from the bowstring.

A guilt-inducing scream filled the gallery as the arrowhead cleanly struck Phantom Ganon's mount. The monster's clone disintegrated like a tower of dust against a desk fan the second the arrow hit, taking his horse with it. The real Phantom Ganon, as his horse perished in another dust storm, growled in annoyance as he fell straight off his horse and crashed to the floor.

" **Hey, that's not fair!** " Phantom Ganon taunted at Link as he hauled himself up. " **You're getting on my bad side!** "

Link saw his opportunity and took it. He slid his bow into his bag, unsheathed the Master Sword, took it in both hands and charged at his opponent. "Get him, Link!" encouraged Navi. She turned a pinky-gold colour from being angry and proud at the same time.

 **VVVUM! CHOWRRRWTH!**

In one swift motion, Link bought the Master Sword down at Phantom Ganon's neck like he was an executioner with an axe. However, his sword hit metal. Again, Phantom Ganon had bought his trident up to meet with Link's attack. " **Either way you slice it, the Master Sword can't hurt me or** **break** **my trident!** **Do you know what this switch here does?** "

Despite having no jaw, Phantom Ganon made a movement that implied he was smiling insanely as he flicked a red lever on the side of his trident. With a clatter of whirring machinery, the three prongs of the tip closed up into one sharp point and the edges sharpened.

 **PYOWSHYRRRRRRR…**

Phantom Ganon gripped his trident with a handle in the middle as a red glow began tracing his weapon, stopping at a handle so he could still hold it. It was using the same energy as the Master Sword, only reversed. Instead of being very effective against monsters, it was now deadly to humanitarians.

One hit from either weapon would spell death for their respective opponents.

Link held out the Master Sword, still refraining from using the Hylian Shield so he could put all his strength into attacking.

Phantom Ganon spun his glowing trident around like a fire dancer at a dark festival. It buzzed and hummed as it moved just like the Master Sword but, because of its conflicted energy, it had a much lower pitch.

The real dual was about to start. Two blades against one.

"Stay on your guard, Link."

* * *

That was Navi's only advice to Link as Phantom Ganon raised his blades up above his shoulder like a javelin. Link twirled the Master Sword in his hand confidently as he stepped towards Phantom Ganon.

" **This better be a good show!** " With that jeer, Phantom Ganon leapt into the air with his sabre down and at an angle. Link countered with a swing of his own and the two sources of conflicting energy met.

 **TSCHSSSSSSSCHHHSCHOW! VUM! VOM! VSHCLAAAAAAAASH! VUM, VOM, VUM, VOM, VUM!**

Still not over what Phantom Ganon had done, obviously, Link's attacks were fast and furious but his enemy was much more calm and controlled. He spun his two blades around and stepped very limply like a wraith. Since being hit only once by the opponent would be fatal, both were on their guard, however. Not one fighter landed any hits. All their blows would do was clash with each other's light. Link bounced the Master Sword off both ends of Phantom Ganon's trident as the latter tilted his blade accordingly to make sure he didn't get hit. The foes tangled around like cats in a fight.

 **TSSCH! SSCHSS! SSH! VUM! VOM! VOM! VOM! VOM!**

With a long and drawn out grunt, Phantom Ganon got heavily offensive with the force of his attacks. He swung both blades left and right wildly, forcing Link to walk backwards as he countered as fast as he could. If you were to hear the fight from outside, you would probably think that a sci-fi movie was being shot. As Link swung left and then right and Phantom Ganon swung right and then left, Link began to sneak his right hand off the hilt and onto his back to get the Hylian Shield.

" **Got an itchy back, have you?** " mocked Phantom Ganon, intensifying his assault, " **Hey, hey! Time to die!"**

Link continued fiddling with the Hylian Shield, fighting at the same time. It was like talking while drumming at the same time without losing rhythm. " **You can't keep that up forever! Why not just let me chop your block off and end it quick and easy!** "

 **CLACK!**

The Hylian Shield had come free.

Phantom Ganon was quickly overpowering him, so Link took the Hylian Shield into his right hand and used it to clobber the foe straight in the face. Phantom Ganon shouted in surprise and anger as Link, revelling in the fact that he was about to win, made the step for the fatal blow.

Somehow, he completely missed.

" **Worms like you need to know when you've been stepped on!** "

He had done it again. Phantom Ganon had rolled back from Link's swing and was left completely unscathed. It was like he and the Master Sword were north-poled magnets. Link swung again, his head pranging with frustration once more, but Phantom Ganon leaped up into the air to avoid that as well.

The problem is, he didn't come down. He just floated up and out of reach. His trident reverted back to normal as his legs and his free arm hung in place as if he were a ragdoll being manipulated by telekinesis.

" **Come and get me! Oh, right! You can't fly! Ha ha ha ha ha! Get a load of THIS!** "

The ghost twirled his trident in circles like he did when it was lit up with energy. As it spun, electricity gathered on the end. When all of it reached maximum power, Phantom Ganon swung his trident down and released it. Instead of firing a big bolt of lightning like Link thought it would, all of it formed a sphere the size of a beach ball. Link wasn't thinking anything through at this point, but he swiped the projectile with his sword.

The metal of the blade should have conducted all the electricity into his body but instead it turned the ball blue and launched it all back at once.

Navi flew back in surprise. "Inconceivable!"

Seeing his own attack coming straight back towards him, Phantom Ganon struck the orb back with his own attack. Once again, the ball turned green and flew back towards Link, who, knowing what to do now, returned the favour once more, turning the ball blue again.

Link dived left and right to return the attack as Phantom Ganon tried to make it hit the floor to remove it from play and try another move. With each return, he was getting increasingly more nervous. He started panting more and more and his grunts upon returning the ball slowly turned into roars. Upon seeing the sheer speed the ball was travelling at, Link was determined to get the better of him because that would probably win him the whole battle.

Wait, did I just switch to working on my Wimbledon essay by mistake?

In any case, Link tried all the techniques he knew of to try and send the ball back at breakneck speed. What settled it was an overhead smash. This made the ball go twice the speed it was going before. Consequently, this made the enemy completely mess up his return.

The sphere smashed into the former horseman's body, flinging him into a fit. He limbs and head flailed wildly as he sank to the floor, sparking with electricity like a malfunctioning robot. As he got everything together, Link was racing towards him, the Master Sword being squeezed by both hands, bent on his annihilation.

" **No!** " shouted the ghost, standing up and pointing his trident at Link. He began to fire little lines of electricity at the advancing assailant, but he swerved out of their way the second they were fired. " **NO!** " Now desperate, Phantom Ganon shot three more rounds of electricity. Link swished wildly, deflecting the beams into the surrounding paintings. " **NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIII-** "

The furious warrior didn't even wait for the ghost to stop denying his fate. The Master Sword sliced through the air and cut right through the gap between Phantom Ganon's skull and his armour, producing a shower of sparks as it did so and making a sound like sand pouring onto concrete.

 **VRRRRRRRM! SCTHHHHHHHHH!**

With whatever held it on severed, a horned skull with no jaw clattered to the ground, rolling under the fabric ropes and off the edge of the platform, producing a quiet shattering noise as it hit the floor underneath.

With no brain to send commands to it, the black and brown armour dropped the troublesome trident to the floor and collapsed sideways to the floor.

Link was left to think about what Phantom Ganon had done.

* * *

It had been an uncomfortably long time. It wouldn't have been uncomfortable, but Link just stared at the headless horseman for the whole five minutes. Navi left him alone. She knew why he couldn't stop staring at him.

A sudden jolt in the lifeless armour caused Link to draw the Master Sword. A dark vortex materialising in the middle of the floor made him step back. Slowly, eerily, what was left of Phantom Ganon limply hovered above the ground, making its way towards the purple vortex.

A deep voice blared through the gallery once more. This time, Link knew that it was certainly not a fake.

" **Pft! I try to make a monster and I wind up with a wimp!** "

"Ganondorf!" panted Link, still out of breath from his tangle. "Where is she? What happened to Saria?"

" **What a worthless creation that phantom was! I shall banish it to the gap between dimensions!** "

"Answer me! What did you do to her?"

" **That worthless tin man couldn't even stop a little girl getting to the Chamber of Sages! All the work of my grim reaper monster just went right down the toilet!** "

As the headless armour writhed over the portal, the vortex grew stronger. "What did you say? Your grim reaper monster? What did it do? Tell me!"

" **One of those girls in the Lost Woods had to be sacrificed to make that monster. Reisu went through bush after bush to get to her and not one inch of that matters!** "

Navi whitened, as did Link's face. His fingers became numb as if they were frozen and the Master Sword dropped to the floor. "You wouldn't! You're trying to lower my morale!"

" **She survived the attack for longer than I thought. She should have stuck to the path with all her friends! They are all none the wiser! Shall I tell you how I killed her?** "

Link genuinely felt like he was about to faint. He was several times more certain about that than during his entire fight with Phantom Ganon. Even though Ganondorf hadn't elaborated, he still remembered every face of his childhood like a photograph. Any one of them could be gone.

" **Shall I tell you how my sword almost split her in half like you did with two of my monsters?** "

"Demon!" Link charged at the downed body of Phantom Ganon once more, trying to deny Ganondorf the satisfaction of locking it away himself. "How was she a threat? **You had everything you wanted!** "

" **She did not support me. Anyone like that has got to go. Like this phantom for example!** "

The gravitational pull of the void got stronger and the body of Phantom Ganon gargled. It was either in pain or that was just metal grinding together. It sank like a stone into the vortex and vanished. Before the vortex could follow, Link ran straight at it, his sword pointing to the ground. "Come back here!"

Just before the vortex disappeared, Link plunged his sword blade-first into it like he was returning it to its pedestal. The immense amount of divine energy combined with the vast whirlpool of dark energy created a reaction, which bathed the entire temple in light. Link shut his eyes automatically, feeling fear and dizziness overtaking him and then he blacked out.

* * *

The light created from the plunge shot out of the temple entrance as well as all of the windows, eliminating all the monsters in there as well as every beast in the Sacred Forest Meadow. As it glimmered through the forest, every raptor was disintegrated and swept away as they wreaked havoc on the village. One of them was even about to eat someone who was cowering against a wall. Several Kokiri noticed what was going on and watched in awe as every monster in the entire forest district was wiped out. The giant jungle plants were removed and replaced with calmer, more fitting flora, the giant jungle trees were erased and replaced with more countryside-like cedars, everything that was out of place was completely righted.

"What was that?"

"How did it happen?"

"Who did it?"

These were all questions mused by the villagers as they looked around their forest, which was now good as new. One familiar face, escorting a boy with a wooden leg aside two rather beefy kids, smiled ear to ear, small tears sliding down his face.

" _Thank you. Thank you for everything."_

* * *

 ** _Quote of the Day:_**

* * *

 _"_ _Home is not a place. It's a feeling._ _"_


	32. Slow and Steady

At first, all Link could see was explosions of colours in his eyes as if someone was making a painting and spilled all of their paint over the canvas. However, he had regained consciousness. He just didn't open his eyes.

"Link?"

" _A voice? Who's that?"_ thought Link as his face twitched erratically. It didn't sound like Navi. It was more human than that. At the same time it sounded pretty young. _"Zelda?"_ No, it had been seven years. Zelda, if she was still around, would be a late teenager at least. The only race that kept their young age was…

" _Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?"_

"Look, he just moved! He's waking up!" Another voice. This time, he definitely recognised it. This was Navi.

"Hello?" Link droned groggily as he sat himself up. He felt cold slate beneath him. As he opened his eyes, he could make out blue waterfalls in the background and a girl in green in front of him.

"Saria?"

"Link."

As Link's vision returned to normal, he looked at Saria in disbelief for a few seconds. Then, he began to blink rapidly. He even pretended to take his eyes out, blow on them and rub them on his tunic before putting them back in. The latter was something he would often do as a joke when he was a child. He would do that when he couldn't believe what he was seeing. It never failed to entertain and it still didn't because Saria gave him a little smile.

When Link took a moment to look at his surroundings, he realised that he was sitting in the inverted triangle of a large Triforce pattern.. Water flowed from the edges of the magnificent, golden marvel and off the edge of the platform they were on. Around the edges of the whole platform were metallic circular platforms of various colours. Saria was standing on a green one. It matched her perfectly. It was as if it was made for her. He was in the Chamber of Sages.

"You're… alive." Link pointed out, rather unsure of what else to say.

"I'm alive." repeated Saria, "But I almost lost the right to say that."

"The phantom… it kept gloating about how it killed you. Was it lying?"

"Well, I got a few cuts and bruises from it… but I'll live. I had to pretend to be dead after it hit me so that it would stop paying attention to me and when it did, I got up and ran through the offstage door." Saria displayed her arm. It bore a long cut, but she had since bandaged it up. "I think the phantom was trying to make you lose the will to keep going."

Link looked to the golden pedestal to the left of Saria. Rauru had once stood there.

" _The sages hide among your people, thinking they are ordinary people."_ Rauru had told him.

" _When evil rules all, an awakening voice from the Sacred Realm will call to those who are destined to become sages."_ Sheik had said.

"You… are the Sage of the Forest."

Saria stopped talking as soon as Link made his deduction. She stayed still and silent for a full minute, which made Link regret talking. "Saria? Are you all right?"

It was an agonising wait, despite the silence only lasting half a minute. With a sigh, Saria started speaking softly. "That… explains everything. I am honestly not surprised about that." she said, her two hands together at her heart. "Seven years ago, I told you that I thought this house was going to be important to us some day… and here I am now, the Sage of the Forest, and here you are now, the Hero of Time, awakening me as a sage."

Now that he was with his childhood friend once again, thoughts and regrets swam in Link's head. The only way he could get rid of them was by telling Saria everything while he could. "Saria… I have a confession to make. Your ocarina that you gave me..."

Saria didn't quite know where this was going and frowned slightly. "Yes?"

"Ganondorf thought it was the one he was looking for and he stole it. When he found out that he'd got the wrong one… he crushed it in front of me." Overridden by guilt, Link hung his head in shame. "If I was a better friend, I would have kept it in a more secure place. I am so sorry."

"Link, you're the best friend I could ever have asked for! It wasn't your fault. Blame Ganondorf. In fact… I need to confess something myself." Saria looked up at Link and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Before, Saria was slightly taller than Link and she had to look down a bit to have an eye level conversation with him. Now she had to look right up as if she were birdwatching. "A year after you left… I let the whole forest turn on you by mistake!"

It seemed like Saria expected Link to flip his lid as she hid her face from him as he himself had done numerous times. He wasn't that kind of person. Saria didn't get angry when Link ran away, he wasn't going to get angry at her. Not ever. "Calm down, Saria. Don't worry. Breathe. Tell me. What happened?"

"I wasn't paying attention to what everyone was talking about and one day… I'm pretty sure it was Mido, but someone convinced all the villagers that the Great Deku Tree withered because… you did something wrong to it. I tried to tell everyone the truth… no one else believed me."

"Mido? But… he was with me when I killed the curse. In fact, I have no idea why he turned around and blamed me after that!"

"Maybe it wasn't him but… one night they were perfectly civil, the next morning they were glad you were gone. I tried to tell them that it wasn't you… but they never listened. I… I'm..."

"-The best."

Saria's face shot back up to face Link. "Sorry?"

"I said that you're the best. Even after what everyone in the entire forest thought, you stood with me. People would kill for a friend like that. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean."

Link knelt down and hugged the girl as lightly as he could, still not trusting his own strength. Slowly, Saria stopped heaving. "Thank you. Really, thank you."

"Are the Kokiri all OK?"

"Well..." Saria, once again, looked like she was going to regret telling Link everything. "Thanks to you, the curse of the forest is destroyed but… not everyone made it. The raptors took a few lives and someone… just disappeared without a trace."

"What happened to everyone else?" asked Link calmly, looking as patient and kind as he could.

"They all got together and survived. They used the Great Deku Tree's shell as a shelter. The raptors didn't dare follow them in there. Maybe they thought the Great Deku Tree was still alive."

"Well, lets go back." Link said. "They'll all be wondering where we are."

"Not me, Link."

"Sorry?" Link frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm a sage now. Sages have to find home in the Chamber of Sages. The forest… is not my home any more. Whether I like it or not… I have to stay here until Ganondorf is defeated."

Feeling deep grief again, Link clenched his fist, a lump already in his throat and it felt like he had just swallowed a whole apple. "Saria… I'm…"

"Don't worry." said Saria, understanding as always. With a bittersweet smile, she stepped towards Link and cupped his cheek gently. "Ever since we lived with each other, I have always loved you like a brother. I still do. Even though only one of us ages, just know that I will always protect you. And to prove it:"

Saria stood upright and raised both hands above her head like she was a nice statue of an angel on the side of a church. This caused a bright green ball of energy to shine in the black void overhead. Link shielded his eyes and winced as the glow pierced his eyes and when he recovered, something was falling towards him like a coin. As he did with the Light Medallion, he reached up and caught it at the last possible moment. Any second later and he probably could have done with a plaster.

What he had caught resembled the Light Medallion. It was a sapphire, metal disc about the size of a small plate and had a slightly high rim. This one had a different pattern embedded onto it than the last one. It was three crescents tangled around each other, forming a circle.

"That is the Forest Medallion." continued Saria as Link breathed on the green metal and wiped it to make it glimmer. "As a sage, I give you this and add my power to yours."

"Saria, I WILL destroy Ganondorf for you. I will return you back to your rightful home. I promise."

"Thank you, Link. I wish you luck in your future battles. Thank you. Thank you for everything."

Suddenly, the world around Link began to fade away, as well as Saria. The water began to distort, as did the sound. It was like he was waking up from a dream. He couldn't speak or move. All he could do was let the white void take him.

Link took one last look at Saria. She stood in the fading light of the Sacred Realm, small, green and fragile. Not as fragile as she used to be, however. She had a formal posture and there was something mature and serene in her expression, like that of an angel. When she was finally gone, a white, featureless background surrounded Link.

The last thing he heard was his childhood friend's soft voice.

"Goodbye, Link. You will always be my very best friend and I, Saria, will always be yours."

* * *

" **Pah! Compared to that boy, that dopey duppy was a** **doormat of a defendant** **!** "

Ganondorf, framed in shadow, still sat at the top of his tower with a wine glass full of blood red alcohol. Just as he was doing for his last minion, he was browsing his large book of monsters.

As he passed Phantom Ganon's page, he dipped his quill in his red ink and slashed an X across the headless horseman's portrait.

" **Well, Phantom Ganon seemed to lose his head at the slightest of conflicts. Who should I go after next?** "

Lightning boomed out the stained glass windows as the King of Evil flipped the page over. He was greeted by two new monsters that he hadn't even considered before. One was a long, almost snake-like Chinese dragon. It wasn't absolutely hulking like most other dragons he had seen, but it looked far more potent than the one on the right, which looked like a blob of flesh inside a tentacle of water.

" **Volvagia...** " read Ganondorf, tracing his finger along the text as he skimmed it. " **'This aerial ace is infamous amongst the Gorons for devouring their kind alive, but it was eventually slain by the Hero of the Gorons, who wielded a strong hammer.'** "

Ganondorf almost ripped his book in half with frustration. His hands twitched unpredictably. " **That dragon is an ace? It seems like more of a joker to me!** " Even so, he continued reading.

"' **However, this monster can be resurrected. It just needs a healthy sacrifice. Such as… Gorons. Perfect.** "

The man put his book back on the table to the right of his throne and stood up from it, shattering his glass in his hand once more. " **A skilled martial artist can crack even the toughest of rocks… Nekketsu,** **tighten your black belt because we're going to break the** **mould** **with the Gorons!**

Upon being summoned, the side door creaked open and a skinny monster came strutting out of it. It wore purple Karategi with a black belt strapped around its waist. Its skin was thick and beige and its eyes were sunken in and orange. It had black hair and eyebrows. With an almighty shout, he tightened his black belt and a red glow of power engulfed him. " **OOWAAAAAAAAGH!** "

* * *

" _Slow and steady."_

Link remained calm as he drifted through the air and back into reality. The lime-coloured sky shone above him, telling him that he was back home. Back in Kokiri Forest.

The blue light surrounding him dispersed, dropping him the last few inches to the floor. The air around here smelled familiar. It smelled pure, yet he caught a small stench of rotting wood with it. One look to the right explained it. He was in the meadow where the Great Deku Tree lived and died.

"Father..." said Link, deadpan. He knelt to the shell of the tree and placed his hand on his heart. "Your forest is safe. Safe with me."

"Link?"

Link was quite caught off guard as he heard a squeaky voice utter his name. He nearly fell over as he tried to turn while kneeling, but he was very relieved to see Navi flittering towards him, having turned that shade of pink again. The meaning of that colour had still never been explained, but Link wasn't about to ask.

"There you are!" chirped Navi, "Where were you?"

"Where were _**you**_?" Link returned, "I was just in the Chamber of Sages and… Saria awoke as a sage. Do you know what that means?"

"No, what?"

"She can't come back here. Not until I beat Ganondorf once and for all."

…

Navi was silent. She just fluttered to keep herself up. She was obviously sympathetic, but… she quite simply didn't know what to say. That was all.

"Hey, Brussels sprout!"

Link looked up at the Great Deku Tree. A high voice had just come from that direction. It didn't belong to the Great Deku Tree. He had long browned from the years he had spent a lifeless shell. Additionally, he didn't talk like a cool teenager at the skatepark.

"Who's there? Where are you?" called Navi towards the Great Deku Tree.

"Don't fear, I'm no enemy of yours! In fact, I was planted right where you're standing!"

Link frowned. "'Planted'? 'Right where I'm-" but before he could finish, he had to leap back as he felt something bursting out of the ground from beneath him.

 **BOOOOOOOOM!**

"In fact, I just grew!" finished the voice. Link, recovering with a few quick blinks, looked up to what he had to leap out the way of like an explosion.

"Hi there! I'm the Great Deku Tree sprout!"

Link flinched at the sight of this new face. It looked like a giant wooden turnip with a face drawn on with a marker pen. Still, it seemed to possess the power of speech. Link's face softened as he knelt to the sprout. "Great Deku Tree?"

"No. I am not the Great Deku Tree. I am his descendant." interrupted the sprout, "The Great Deku Tree may have died seven years ago, but a leftover samara of his burrowed itself into the ground and, because you and your fairy broke the curse, I was able to grow into a healthy sapling! I thank you for that, Link."

"Whoa, wait, wait, wait." Link got up and held both his hands up in a 'stop' motion as if he was directing a plane. "If you're not him, then how do you know my name?"

"When a magical plant like your guardian tree passes on seeds, those seeds are to grow up, keeping all memories and wisdom of their father." explained the Great Deku Tree sprout.

Navi's gears began to turn. "If you know all that..."

"Then where did I come from?" Link finished. "Why am I a grown-up after all these years if I'm a Kokiri?"

"Ah. Well, make yourself comfortable. I know just the story."

* * *

 _It all took place seventeen years ago, when you were just an infant. A battle-weakened mother of the Hylian race charged down the green and red fields of Hyrule on a black and white horse. In one hand, she gripped the wet reigns. In the other… she supported her baby boy._

 _Her husband had insisted on staying on the battlefield to stall the enemy from reaching his wife, but he only had two swords. Two swords against an army of claymores, flails, crossbows and all that? He gave his life for his mother and his son._

 _That mother rode for a very long time indeed, finally succeeding in her goal when she arrived at the Kokiri Forest. Her plan all along, upon hearing of the start of the war, was to take her son to the Kokiri Forest, the only place that could not be touched by this awful war._

 _However, that mother knew that she could not survive in this forbidden forest… While her son was granted sanctuary and future… she was petrified with wood and leaves._

* * *

The brain is a very funny thing. It's kind of like a computer. It just stops working directly after taking in too much.

This is exactly what happened to Link after he took one look at what used to be a small sapling that he always knew as his mother. It had now grown into a perfect weeping willow. The small tray that he had offered food to her with had been replaced as well.

Not in a bad way. The last offering tray was rather pokey and could hardly fit anything on it. Now it had been taken and replaced with a great big picnic basket. It had been stuffed full of fruit.

"Mum… Dad… Is this… all true?" Link gibbered, white in the face. "My mother was Hylian? If my parents were Hylian and I didn't stay as a child… then..."

"That means..." continued Navi. She gradually turned neon green as the truth dawned on her.

The Great Deku Tree sprout finished for her. "You're Hylian!"

This has happened many times throughout this story, but it just happened again. Link knew how that was going to end but he still almost fainted when the full sentence came out.

He was a Hylian all along, he was absolutely right. He wasn't a Kokiri at all.

He was right, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"This explains so much..." Link muttered, his knees began to feel sore from how hard he had been leaning on them. "Thank you, Mr. sprout. That's one question off my mind."

"And your destiny is now laid onto it. You have now learned your destiny!" announced the sprout, "So you know what you must do. You must save the land of Hyrule! You must break all the curses on all four of the remaining temples and restore peace to the land of Hyrule!"

"But… Mr. sprout, where must I go next?"

…

…

…

No response.

* * *

Link silently walked back into the village. Navi was soundless. She understood his why he wasn't talking. The first thing he did was appreciate that all the kids had gotten out of their houses and, despite looking like they had been homeless for the past seven years because of their torn and dirty clothing. One of the kids, on closer inspection, was that legless boy Link had found in the Lost Woods. Someone had gotten him a wooden leg that worked wonders and was flexing and moving as if it were organic.

"Who on earth did that?" mused Link. He walked towards the sprinting lad to talk to him and the closer he got, the more he could hear the artificial leg squeaking.

 **SHWEE, SHWEE, SHWEE, SHWEE, SHWEE, SHWEE!**

"Excuse me!"

Link stood on the sidelines as he called after the boy, who flawlessly skidded to a halt and looked at him, recognising him almost instantly. "Oh hey, it's you! What do you want?"

"Not much." said Navi, "Just… who gave you that wooden leg?"

The boy frowned and flexed his man-made leg. "Who gave it to me? Well..."

* * *

"Mido?"

 **Knock, knock**.

Upon hearing where the boy had got his new leg, Link had made a straight line to Mido's house. As he entered, he noticed that his cucco was sat on Mido's table. Once again, Link could see Mido, his clothes still torn in some places, feeding her corn.

Hearing a knock on his house, Mido turned around and saw Link, whom he still didn't recognise. Because of this, he actually smiled. "Oh. It's you. You're that traveller earlier, aren't you?"

"Are you still feeding that cucco?"

"Yes… I've grown quite fond of this one… She belonged to a Kokiri who left the forest and never came back. Ever since, I've been taking care of her."

"Speaking of which," Navi flew into the scene and hovered up to Noi. "there is something we need to tell you, Mido."

Mido frowned and then gasped. "Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"That's the thing and my fairy is right." replied Link calmly, "There is something I should probably tell you."

And so, Link told Mido everything he felt like he needed to know. It started with how the forest was now completely safe and sound to play in… at a price.

"Ah." said Mido disappointedly. He lowered his head a bit. "So… Saria isn't coming back. Not ever?"

"Not for that long." Navi clarified. "Once Ganondorf is overthrown, I'm sure she can return."

Then Link told him about what became of the boy who left the forest. He said that the boy was not dead. Instead, he went on a journey to travel seven years into the future and save a future timeline from a calamitous leader.

"Seven years?" Mido repeated. Link nodded. "Sorry, but how old are you?"

"Just now, I was told that… seventeen years ago, my mother took me here as a baby so that must mean… I'm seventeen! Yes, that's it!"

"Seventeen? Right, so… Link apparently travelled seven years into the future. When I last saw him, he was ten years old so now he would be seven-" Mido suddenly stopped dead like he had just been hit with a tranquilliser dart mid-sentence. "-teen. Wait… It's… It's you, isn't it?"

Time slowed to a standstill as Mido looked up at Link expectantly. He looked like the ghost of a former relative had just come to see him. Just like Link would do when he couldn't believe what he was seeing, Mido pretended to take his eyes out, rub them on his tunic, blow on them and then he pretended to reinsert them.

"I am Link. And you were right. As you can see, I am not a Kokiri. My mother and father were Hylian and that means I am too."

"I was… right." said Mido to himself. He said that countless times back in the past, but he was annoyingly vehement then. Now he sounded like he was very ashamed about his correctness. "That doesn't mean I have to like it, right?"

"Of course not. I didn't like being right about that either."

Silence.

Time hung in the air once more as Mido started to fidget. Navi drooped towards him to show support, as did Noi.

"Well… Link, there is something I need to tell you." Mido was finally able to say, "Something I haven't ever told anyone at all. If you tell anyone I said it, things will get messy."

" _Goodness!"_ Link though as he watched Mido twitching uncomfortably, _"What does he want to say to me? Does he have a second head under his jumper? Is he really a gruff girl called Susan Jenkins?"_

But no, reader. Despite it being one common word, it was something much more shocking.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day**_

* * *

 _"_ _Parental love is the only love that is truly selfless, unconditional and forgiving._ _"_


	33. Link of the Gorons

"Sorry."

"Sorry? That's what you wanted to tell me?"

Mido began to fidget. "Yes. Please don't judge me! I've been wanting to say that for years now but you weren't here to tell it to!"

Noi fluttered out from behind Mido. "There we are." she said gently, "Doesn't that feel better?"

"You finally listened to your heart for once." joined Navi in an equal tone. She really didn't mean for that to sound insulting.

"Yes. To be more specific, I'm really sorry for everything I did to you when you were a child! I really am! Please forgive me!" pleaded Mido. For the first time in his life, Link actually felt awful for him. The boy seriously looked like he was afraid of his life. "I really feel terrible for being so cruel to you! I have… no excuse. That was just how I was."

"That's right." Noi agreed, shimmering a reassuring brown. "Don't ruin a good apology with an excuse."

Link's words trapped themselves inside of him as Mido awkwardly fed Edith another scoop of corn to try and divert the subject. He hadn't forgotten everything Mido had done to him. Those memories of being shoved in the duck pond weren't going to just disappear overnight, but Mido really looked like he meant what he said. Link found his leg having a spasm for a brief moment having stood there for so long, but he finally uttered his response.

"It's all right. I forgive you."

"See? I told you he would." said Noi with a sweet smile. Mido smiled back at her.

"I'm sorry not for believing you. Now..." He turned to Link. "About what you did for the forest, thank you so much. I kind of missed being able to run around and play."

"So do I. Even now, my work is not done. There are four more places I need to go before it is."

Mido grinned playfully. "Good luck with them. See you in a while, Dekudile."

"Until next time… Sorry, I can't think of anything to go with that." Giving Mido one last sheepish smile, Link left the house and ultimately, the forest.

Without a word from Noi or himself, Mido reached into his bag of corn and continued feeding Link's cucco.

"Don't worry." he finally said, "I'll look after you."

* * *

For seven years, the Gorons had been waiting for Ganondorf to come and lay waste to their fair city. However, that day never came. In fact, the Gorons continued to live in piece. The same could not be said for almost everywhere else.

However, it turns out that Ganondorf had this as his intention all along because, his cape flapping in the wind, he charged straight into Goron City to revive Volvagia. Alongside him was his martial monster, Nekketsu. His red headband flailed behind him like a windsock as he ran with a professional, hunched posture.

Not even within a second of being seen, a Goron had started ringing a giant bell on the wall.

 **DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!**

" **Achtung! Achtung! Dies ist keine Übung! Ganondorf ist mit einem Monster angekommen! Mann die Verteidigung!** "

Every Goron in the city looked up at the highest level and saw the dark wizard with his new monster. He was staring daggers at them all, completely set on capturing every single one in hopes that this will revive this dragon he was after. All the Gorons began to shout in German as they ran into various tunnel systems to rise up for battle.

" **Nekketsu, you know what to do. Get these Gorons cracking on that side and I'll attack from over there!** " Ganondorf ordered. Nekketsu stood erect and saluted before tightening his black belt. A red aura surrounded him once more as his burning passion blasted to life like a cannon shot. Once again, he roared throughout the crowded cave like a barbarian. Both grunting loudly, Ganondorf and his monster took off in separate directions with the former running down a tunnel to take care of the Gorons and the latter took on the Goron at the bell. The ringer of said bell raised his fists and growled at the charging artist, but he was immediately struck with a fierce Tsukiage, uppercutting the Goron straight into the bell.

 **DONNNNNNNNNG!**

Nekketsu was one buff brawler as the Goron was sent flying upwards with such force that his head got stuck inside the ringer. He tried kicking around to escape, but he made no progress. He was like a rocky punching bag.

" **MMMMPH! MMMMMMMMMPH!** "

Nekketsu's smile got into slasher territories as he realised his terribly cruel opportunity. He curled his sharp fingers into fists and began beating the trapped Goron senseless. An Uraken Hizo Uchi, a Yoko Empi, a Kakudo Geri, everything he could think of within the span of five seconds. The bell rang loudly as the Goron took more and more hits. The only reason he only took five seconds was because his master, Ganondorf, bellowed out of the tunnel.

" **Oi, Nekketsu! We have a whole army of nutcrackers here! Come help me out!** "

The martial artist bared his teeth in frustration and looked back and forth between his current target and the tunnel. He wanted to keep thrashing the Goron trapped in the bell, but disobeying his master would probably result in a very unpleasant consequence.

With one last lunging kick, Nekketsu snapped the bell clean off the rope and sent it flying across the city, taking the unconscious Goron with it.

 **DONNNNNNNNNG!**

With that, the monster ran after Ganondorf down the tunnel.

Ganondorf himself was no slouch in a fight. Dozens of Gorons all rolled at Ganondorf like boulders only to be effortlessly swatted into the walls to the side. His metal boots kicked attackers away and his silver-plated gloves sent his opponents flying down the halls. The Gorons were not having an easy time with this battle. It didn't get any easier when Nekketsu showed up to rendezvous with his master.

" **It's about time!** " said Ganondorf, glaring at Nekketsu, " **You know what to do! Sweep this lot of** **waste** **up for me!** "

Once again, Nekketsu tightened his belt to power himself up and, his eyes flashing red briefly, he leaped into the air, extended his leg and spun around like a helicopter. Each Goron hit was trapped in the barrage of spinning kicks as Nekketsu ploughed through the army before he cancelled his attack into a series of discus lariats, trapping more soldiers in the blitz. Finally, Nekketsu finished by clenching his fist, somehow setting it ablaze and spinning into the air, creating a wide pillar of spinning fire. At least fifty Gorons went crashing to the floor, still alive due to their resistance to fire, blackened by the explosion.

" **Take a look at this, Hackfresse!** " blasted a deep voice from the other end of the corridor. Ganondorf stopped smiling at the carnage and his brow sharpened as he saw an elderly Goron, 64 years old, framed in light. He had a lot of facial hair and a very large frame in general. He obviously had the strength of twenty men because he was holding something twice his size in both his hands.

It was Darunia, and he was carrying a giant boulder, glowing orange in places from internal heat. He looked like Atlas holding up the world. " **Take this!** " With an almighty wind-up, he pitched the boulder straight at Ganondorf.

He didn't even need Nekketsu to smash it to pieces. All he needed was a quick blow from his blade to slash it in half and then into quarters and then into eighths. " **That it, grandpa?** " he jeered with a smug grin. He pointed straight at Darunia and nodded towards him. " **Get him!** "

Darunia growled in frustration and began thinking to himself as the Great King of Evil and the Karate Killer intimidatingly ran towards him. As his two assailants were halfway to him, he turned his head and called up a hill.

" **Ich komme, alle zusammen! Entfessle die Boulderfalle, wenn du mich siehst!** "

As he finished, he looked over at Ganondorf one more time before fleeing up the hill. None the wiser, Ganondorf followed him up. Because Darunia was old and heavy, he was very slow and Ganondorf was catching up fast. That's why he had a plan. He had come this way for a very specific reason.

The last faction of Gorons had been manned at the top of the hill, using the incline to their advantage and seal Ganondorf right where they wanted.

Darunia didn't have any time to spare when he reached the top as Ganondorf and Nekketsu were almost two feet behind him. " **Jetzt!** " he shouted, signalling to every single Goron in the village, who had formed a big line to push four giant boulders down the hill and onto the invader. They seemed to know the timing beforehand, all dropping their rocks simultaneously as Darunia scurried to safety.

 **BOOM! CRAAAAAAASH!**

For a moment, all the Gorons thought they had won. The row of four boulders crashed to the floor in front of Ganondorf and Nekketsu and they all started rolling down like bowling balls down a rather badly designed alley. Darunia was just about to congratulate his comrades and go through the next part of his plan but he suddenly got interrupted by a loud **SMAAAAAAAAAASH!**

Gorons held their arms up as shrapnel and debris shot like bullets. Smoke choked the air and the Gorons and fire obscured the view of what was going on.

Ganondorf's voice crackled from the smoke. " **Dachten Sie, ich könnte kein Deutsch sprechen? Dachten Sie, ich würde Sie miteinander reden lassen, wo ich Sie nicht verstehen konnte?** "

He had learned German. And Darunia had just revealed his entire boulder plan to him!

" **Ach! Nein**!" Darunia pounded his fist into his palm. " **Alle, Rückzug!** "

Speaking German wasn't going to give him an edge at all. Ganondorf immediately translated this as Darunia telling everyone to retreat and quickly pointed up to the exit of Goron City. "Up there!" he commanded to Nekketsu. With an impressive jump, the monster flipped up into the air. With a battle-ready grunt, he landed right in front of one of the two exits and struck a fighting pose, daring ANYONE to come near him.

Ganondorf was standing at one way out and Nekketsu stood at the other.

The Gorons had lost.

" **Finally, we have order!** " whined Ganondorf sadistically, drawing a sledgehammer from his side. " **Do you surrender?** " The man clomped towards the cowering Gorons, repeatedly tapping the Hammer into his hand to intimidate them. Each time he did, it cracked disturbingly.

"Brother Darunia?" whispered a very young Goron, looking up at his leader with big, watering eyes, "What's going to happen to us?"

Darunia looked behind himself and gave the child a determined smile. "Nothing will happen to us." he claimed. Turning back to face Ganondorf, he slid his fingers into the gaps between his opposite set of fingers and produced a loud crack with them. "You should be asking what's going to happen to **him**!"

Hearing this, Ganondorf bought the hammer down on the Gorons, only for Darunia to lunge out and grab it with his hand. Despite producing an almighty smashing noise, Darunia was left perfectly intact. With one smooth movement, Darunia yanked the hammer out of Ganondorf's hand to use himself. " **Männlichen! My own hammer, please!** "

A beefy hand from the crowd of Gorons behind him reached over hand handed Darunia a silver hammer made of metal and began to dual wield the two hammers against their oppressor. " **Come at me, Warmduscher!** "

It would be a major understatement to say that Ganondorf was angry. He was FURIOUS. He didn't show it. He didn't even attack.

Instead, he looked at Nekketsu and pointed at the leader. " **Bakuhatsu Technique. NOW.** "

Nekketsu was quick to oblige. He tightened his belt once more and leaped through the air, cloaking his fists and feet in fire as he bunched them together and soared towards the gathered Gorons. Darunia held both hammers in a cross shape to try and block the flying ninja…

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

Link and Navi looked up from the river they had been drinking from, having just heard an explosion from a great altitude. The noise led their eyes to Death Mountain. At first they thought it was just an ordinary eruption, but the ring of smoke at the top of it had a different story.

Mind! It was made of smoke until just now. Whatever had just exploded on the inside had clearly not been good for it because a giant plume of fire ignited the smoke as if it had been doused with some kind of petrol. Silently, not even a roar, fire engulfed the ring like a snake eating its own tail.

"What in Din, Farore and Nayru was that?" Link said to Navi, splashing himself in the face just to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Death Mountain is in danger!" Navi answered. "We need to go and investigate!"

"Right!"

Standing up, Link ran towards the river and leaped off the bank, his long legs just about managing to clear it. He grasped at the long, dew-covered strands of grass to right himself and avoid falling in. As Navi was beginning to leave him behind, Link found the strength to pull himself up before running after her to Kakariko Village.

* * *

Now that he was at the bent and shattered gate that led to Death Mountain, Link put his hand up to his brow to look at the top of the mountain and pinpoint just where that massive explosion just came from. It was very hard to see, but Link eventually managed to lock onto some smoke that billowed from a small cave near the top.

"Goron City."

"What?" Navi flew in front of Link so he could see her. "What about it?"

"It's under attack! Ganondorf's at it again!" Link curled his fingers into a trembling fist. "We need to get there right now before he escapes and maybe we can strike him down once and for all!" He didn't even wait for Navi to respond. He vaulted over some bent iron and ran off up the rocky trail, turning the corner and running-

 **DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

-straight into a walking bell. Yes, you read that right and I am just as confused as everyone else.

" **Mmmmmmmph! MMMMMMMMMMPH!** "

Whatever was inside the bell was belly up and kicking furiously to try and right itself. With no obstructions stopping him doing so himself, Link pulled himself up and stood over the thrashing bell creature.

" **Aaaaaaargh!** " screamed the bell, its voice echoing off the walls of the itself, " **You! You're a servant of Ganondorf!** "

"What?"

" **Hear my name and TREMBLE!** " the bell roared as it finally stood. " **I am Link of the Gorons! Remember that name, for it is the name of the boy who saved our sirloin seven years ago?** "

"What is he on about?" whispered a bemused, purple Navi.

"I don't know..." started Link, scratching his stubble, "but I think I should get that bell off his bonce first. Just so he can tell I'm not with Ganondorf."

" **Then who are you? And how do you plan to get this thing off my-** "

 **SCHLANG!**

Not even a second later, Link drew his sword and in one swift movement he was behind the Goron. The bell now had a red, burning line going up and down its middle, like that of what happened to a few monsters so far. With one last shallow ring, the two halves of the bell clattered to the floor and rolled to a stop.

" **I say!** " the Goron gasped. " **How did you do that without hitting me?** "

Link sheathed his sword as the Goron turned around. "Never mind that. What were you doing with a bell on your head?"

"A monster!" the Goron whimpered, sweating from his brow. "Ganondorf has attacked and he has… He has… HE HAS-"

"OK, OK. Calm down." Link interrupted the Goron, sheathing his sword in case that was what made him stutter. "Breathe. Slow down. What happened to everyone?"

" **HE'S TAKEN THE WHOLE POPULATION THE FIRE TEMPLE AND PLANS TO SACRIFICE THEM ALL TO REVIVE A DRAGON!** "

Link and Navi both flinched and, in sync, both felt the non-existent food they had in them threatening to about face. No wonder he thought Link was Ganondorf's servant!

"Maybe there's still time!" Link told the blubbering rock. "Lets go and see if we can stop him!"

"Thank you, kind sir! Thank you!" Still crying, the Goron curled into a ball and began rolling up the mountain at breakneck speed.

"Hey!" called Link after him. "Wait for me! I can't do that!"

The Goron couldn't hear him. He whizzed up the mountain path and out of sight.

"Don't you dare laugh." Link told Navi, who was already showing signs of doing so. "This is serious!"

Looking back at Navi all the way, he continued his journey up to the smoking entrance of Death Mountain.

* * *

After having grown up into a near-man, Link's legs had naturally gotten longer and stronger when he was a child. This meant that his run up the mountain after the Goron had only taken ten minutes at most. The closer he got to Goron City, the more the stench of sulphur and smoke burned his lungs. It reminded him of the time he was ingested by King Dodongo and he had been trying to forget about that since it happened. When he had powered through the smokescreen, the sight of Goron City was not much better.

First of all, he had aimlessly wondered through the place to look for the Goron who summoned him and found absolutely no residents. Every cave was eerily empty.

Secondly, there had clearly been a struggle. Small chips of rock from Gorons lay all over the roads.

Thirdly, all the traffic signals were broken.

Finally, there was a giant, black crater near the entrance that Link nearly fell in to the second he walked in.

"Hello?" Link shouted in the depths of the cavern. As he looked closer into the centre, he saw that the giant pot in the middle of it had been smashed into shards. Ignoring this detail, he called out again. "Are you there? It's just me!"

"In here!"

The Goron Link had met earlier poked his head around the side of his cave and nodded his head towards the inside, beckoning Link inside. Looking back and forth to make sure he wasn't being followed, Link entered the cavehouse and slid the curtain shut behind him.

"Please." said the Goron, "Take a seat."

"To where?" answered Link, frowning. He didn't even realise that he'd said this as his brain was awash with static from what he had just seen. Navi flew inside and flicked his ear.

"Enough joking around and sit down!" Despite her serious tone, Link could see she was grinning. Link awkwardly shuffled to a metal stool opposite the Goron and sat down at his table. The stool was uncomfortable and cold but it was easily bearable with a bit of shuffling every now and again.

"All right." began Link, rapping on the uneven, metal table. "First off, who are you?"

"I am… Link of the Gorons. I was named after someone my dad became sworn brothers with who… basically saved his entire race from starvation. His name was Link and he… was around before I was born. What's your name, mister?"

"Link. I am Darunia's sworn… Wait a minute!"

Link's namesake slowly stopped trembling. At an even steadier pace, his eyes dried. "You're him? the legendary Mountain Monster Masher?"

"Where are all the others?" Navi asked Link softly (As in, the rocky one). "What were you saying about a temple?"

"The Fire Temple? Ganondorf just raided our city with some kind of monster and he… he..."

Link (As in, the one who looks like Peter Pan) slowly put a hand on his namesake's shoulder. "It's all right. Tell me. What did he do?"

"He captured almost all the Gorons! That monster trapped me in the bell I was warning everyone with! I escaped but **AT THE COST OF EVERYONE!** "

Seeing the Goron burst into crashing waves of tears, the main Link stood up, making sure to squeal his chair against the floor to get the Goron's attention. This worked as Link stopped crying and looked up at Link. Gosh, my brain tubes are on fire! "Don't worry. Calm down. I'll go and get them all back for you. Where is the Fire Temple? Why does he need all the Gorons in there?"

Link the Goron lowered his head once more. "They are all… being used to revive the dragon."

"The dragon?"

"Do you not know the ancient Goron stories?"

Link shook his head.

"When the crater of Death Mountain was being used to mine ores, the Gorons were unaware of a dragon that lived in it. Volvagia. She would eat any Goron that lightly irritated her. Then, one day, a really cool Goron showed up with a REALLY strong hammer and hit her so hard that she went all the way off into the sun! Like… **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!** That man became our big brother. A really high rank, so it is. Only his sons were allowed to become the big brother after him"

"Wait." Link said, "If Volvagia is dead, then she shouldn't be a problem. What's happening?"

"I don't know! The last thing I heard was that Ganondorf was going to sacrifice a few Gorons to resurrect her!"

"Where is this Volvagia?" Link asked as quietly and gently as he could. His calm attitude worked well with the Goron because he swallowed his fear and told him.

"The Fire Temple is in the crater of Death Mountain. Darunia hides the entrance from the public in his room but, as his son, I grant you special permission to go there." said the Goron. "First, however, you will need to wear this heat-resistant tunic that I found in my wardrobe a few days ago. I thought this would come in useful some day!"

Link the Goron stood up, walked to his wardrobe and rummaged around the inside, eventually pulling out a ketchup-red tunic and a hat, looking extremely similar to the clothing Link was already wearing. "Please find my friends! They're all locked away in one small cell in the very heart of the Fire Temple!"

"Even women and children?" breathed Navi. The colour drained from her entire body as she began to feel numb.

Link the Goron frowned. "Women?"

"Yes, women." Link repeated. "I was helped through Dodongo's Cavern by a female Goron. Her name was… Mürren, if I remember correctly."

"Oh… About that… Gorons can only be male. We only just found that out a year ago. Some Gorons come out looking a little feminine… but they are all guys!"

* * *

Wait! Hold up! Stop everything! So… All Gorons are male? Then… does that mean…

 **MÜRREN IS A BLOKE AND I'VE BEEN CALLING HIM A GIRL FOR HIS ENTIRE TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT?**

This is embarrassing! Just… Cut! CUT! **CUT!**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"Don't ruin a good apology with an excuse."_


	34. Déjà Vu

Link and Link both slipped behind Darunia's throne, with Link in the flame red tunic that had been given to him by Link.

This is already confusing me!

Link looked at a cracked part of the wall that lay behind the throne. Little splits rose up as tall as the throne itself, branching off into different patterns like a spider's web. He reached into his bag to find any bombs he may need to blow the hole apart but the second he pulled one out, Link the Goron quickly seized his arm. "Stop!" he exclaimed as he began trembling like a dog at a fireworks festival. "You can't use that in here! If you let that rip then you'll destroy not only the wall but also the entire throne room!"

"Is there any better way to get in, though?" Link asked his namesake. Being as slow as he could so as not to set the bomb off, he slipped it back into his bag.

"Just step aside and I'll handle this."

Link did so as Link the Goron cracked his knuckles and grunted.

" **HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGH!** "

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

Link covered his face as Navi took refuge inside his hat. As Link the Goron punched the broken wall, sharp pieces of stone went everywhere. It was like a bomb had just gone off inside the wall but without the destruction of the entire throne room. Wheezing from the dust storm, Link took his shield off his back and waved it like a fan to clear the air a little and, when he could see what had happened, the Goron had busted a hole in the wall.

Suddenly, the air got much hotter. And I mean MUCH hotter. It overwhelmed Link instantly, despite him wearing what was meant to be a heat resistant tunic, he felt like all the fluids in his body had been sucked out of him. He dreaded to think of what would happen if he'd forgotten to change first!

"There we are! Much safer!" Link the Goron blew on his steaming fist to cool it off and then shook it about.

"With that crater ahead of us, I don't really think that 'safe' is the word!" replied Link, only half joking. "You'd better stay here and keep hidden. I'll go and help all of your friends."

"I was… honestly hoping you would say that. Thank you. And good luck."

The Goron bowed to Link before he turned and left the throne room, leaving Link to take the heat.

* * *

Smoke swarmed the cavern and blurred the air around Link like massive candles on a giant birthday cake. He swore that he was going crazy because he could actually hear deep screaming ahead of him. It might have just been the giant, swirling pit of lava below him, but… he could even make out words!

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH...** "

" **Immmmmmmprisonnnnnnned...** "

" **Draaaaaagonnnnnnnnn...** "

Link's cap twitched slightly.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" chirped Navi from inside. Link pinched the end of his hat.

"No, I don't think so. If you come out of this hat, you'd probably bake!"

"Oh! Well, just pretend I never said that, then! I'm a fairy, not a fairy cake!"

Link's boots rolled on the loose pieces of volcanic rock below him. Bubbles popped in the witch's cauldron below him and smoke hissed up out of the giant hole and into the night sky. Wiping sweat from his hair, he looked down at his red tunic. If he hadn't put it on he probably would have evaporated in seconds.

Link went around a turn and, surprisingly, the floor smoothed out a bit. Instead of scattered volcano rock, the ground was neatly paved into separate, smooth bricks. Volcanic ash dusted the floor like icing sugar on a cake and, as if an insect had been crawling over it, Link could see rows and rows of footprints tiredly slumping in straight, single file lines. Some were big, some were small. Joining them all were lines from where chains had been scraping across the floor. Link's eyes traced them all the way over to where they disappeared from sight.

A temple. Not just any temple, the Fire Temple. It looked like it was built for the intent of worship, bearing proud carvings of praying Gorons. Two statues, each depicting a thin, long dragon with narrowed, red eyes, stood facing each other on either side of the temple entrance.

"If I were to guess..." mused Link, "I'd say that those statues are of Volvagia."

"I can't see them under here and I.. don't really want to, to be perfectly honest." replied Navi, turning yellow under Link's hat.

 **Crack…**

Suddenly, a piece of rock fell from above, almost hitting Link directly on the head. A split second later, he heard a scratching noise and felt a knife against his neck.

 **TSSSCHOW! VUMMMM!**

Link very nearly took off his assailant's head with a quick swing of the Master Sword but recognition froze his hand.

Sheik was back and this time he was wearing a flame red sneaking suit with some spots of black in areas.

"Couldn't you have warned me you were going to do that?"

"Then what would be the point of testing how fast your reactions are?"

"Oh. That's a… good point. And well made."

Sheik sheathed his weapon. "Speaking of which… since the last time they were put to the test, they have improved by one second precisely. I commend you for that. Now, tell me. What did you come here for?"

"What?" Link tilted his head and furrowed his brow. "You told me to come here, didn't you? I'm going to find the sage of this place and awaken them."

"And what for?" Sheik questioned, about as expressive as stone. To answer his question, Link thought of Darunia. He thought of how he became sworn brothers and how he had gone through Dodongo's Cavern for him. Finally, he was able to think of a good word to answer with.

"Friendship."

"A true friendship… is something that grows overtime. That feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time... The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go..."

With that, Sheik readied his harp, which had undergone a bit of a makeover. It was now made of red stained glass and the top was fashioned to look like a raging inferno. Just as he had done in the forest, Link subconsciously bought out the Ocarina of Time.

"Learn the Bolero of Fire and play it in front of the Goron's worship monument. Din shall bless you with her fire."

"What?" whispered Navi to Link from inside his cap, but Sheik started plucking the strings. Like he was under a spell, Link joined in. This song was much easier to play than the Minuet of the Forest and it sort of sounded like something that would be played in a marching band. Navi didn't dare come out to dance at risk of becoming a fried friend, but she strobed positive colours in Link's cap.

When the duo finally stopped performing, Sheik strapped his harp back to his back. "Link… the crater brings a piercingly hot wind. Therefore, I shall see you later."

Déjà vu all over again. Sheik reached down into a little pouch on his side and pulled out a brown nut, holding it between his index and ring fingers and under his middle finger. Realising what was about to happen, Link ran towards him. "Wait!" he yelled as Sheik prepared to throw the nut, "I still have more- **Argh!** "

Link was stopped like a train against buffers by a wall of heat shooting out of the tiles like spikes. Sheik's image began to wobble from the hot air as he raised his arm into the air and hurled the Deku Nut to the floor.

 **PAF! FOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The white flash produced by the Deku Nut suddenly caught ablaze, hiding Sheik in it. As quickly as it appeared, it dissipated and left the area empty.

Link shrugged. "Well, I was about to ask him where all the Gorons are but I suppose I could have told him not to play with fire because he almost turned me into toast!"

* * *

Temperature? Well, my thermometer is malfunctioning so that must mean it's pretty blasted high!

Area? From the fact that all the Gorons except from Darunia and his son are trapped in a big cell, this must be deep in the depths of the Fire Temple!

His red karate slippers scuffing the floor as he went, Nekketsu marched back and forth in front of the one cell, making sure that no Goron escaped. Ganondorf had given the monster that job while he went around the Fire Temple to look for Darunia. He was the only Goron who managed to evade capture and he was also the strongest of them all, so it was imperative to the dark king that he was locked up at once.

Every Goron in the city was in one single cell, meaning that there was no one who wasn't at least brushing against one other cellmate with every move. It was horrible. Baby Gorons were crying loudly as their fathers tried to quieten them in case it set Nekketsu off, even some of the adults were crying silently, but the kids were all at the back of the cell so that Nekketsu couldn't hear them, conspiring against him and Ganondorf. Two of which were Wengen and Mürren.

"Maybe… we can dig ourselves out of the cell and escape?" Wengen whispered, sneaking a glance at their guard to make sure he wasn't interested.

Mürren shook her… I mean, his head. "Not with Karate Sid over there watching our every move! He'd notice if there was suddenly a loud scratching noise coming from the back of the cell! If he finds us… he'll use that explosion attack again for sure!"

Another Goron raised his hand. "Maybe we could knock him out and then just bend the bars open."

"Did you not see how he caused a massive explosion with one attack?" hissed Mürren. "If he does that again, Ganondorf will hear, come back and feed us all to that dragon at once! He's already sacrificed twelve of us and I'm afraid that might just be enough to bring Volvagia back to life!"

This silenced all of the children. Nekketsu continued pacing outside, occasionally letting out a twisted chuckle.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

To seek shelter from the flames, Link went through the entrance to the Fire Temple and, feeling dazed from the humid heat, he reached into his pouch once more and pulled out his wooden flask, having filled it up with water back at the river. It was cooler in the temple than in the crater, but not by much.

"What are you doing?" asked Navi, turning grey. Link lightly lifted his cap up.

"It's gotten a bit cooler in here. Do you think you'll be able to stand this temperature?"

Like a mouse about to come out of its cage, Navi slowly inched out of Link's hat. Since it, along with the tunic it came with, was heat resistant, Navi had been protected by it as she hid. When she emerged, she very nearly passed out but she fought through the heat and kept awake.

"Would you like some water?" Link offered, "I filled it up at the river earlier."

"Yes please." Navi replied hoarsely. Like she did in Dodongo's cavern, she daintily perched on the lip of the flask and flattened her wings. "Thank you." With that, she began to sip from the cup. When she was done, Link took a drink himself.

"So then… Where do we look first?" he hummed to himself. Wiping waterfalls of sweat from his countenance. Did I mention that this place was hot?

 **Eek! Eek, eek! Eek! Flappaflappaflappaflappaflappa…**

"Oh, bats!" Link groaned in exasperation as he scratched the Master Sword out of its sheathe and into action. He had seen them before in the Royal Family's Tomb and they were back for more. Keese. Not just Keese, Fire Keese.

They flapped through the air like paper planes that had just gone through a Bunsen burner and, having seen Link, they all flew down at once. Not really focusing and rather annoyed, Link swished the Master Sword at them as Navi rapidly targeted Keese after Keese. Despite the Master Sword's range, he could not hit a single Keese as they were all too fast.

"There's too many of them!" Link continued slashing at as many of the Keese as he could, but he only swatted a total of three away within three quarters of a minute. Sneaking a glance up a wobbly flight of steps, Link saw a padlocked, metal door at the front. The padlock was held in the mouth of a scary statue of a skull, who had blazing fire in its eyes. "Navi, run with me!"

Taking his sword into both hands, Link turned and ran up the stairs, almost tripping as he went. As the Keese swarmed after him and heated him up, Link slashed the padlock clean in two before chucking up the door, dashing through and letting it slam shut behind him. Upon inspecting himself, he only had a few burns. Could be better, but could be worse.

Oh, and he also let the door slam on at least five of the Keese but that's besides the point.

"That was too close!" Link said to Navi, watching the Keese poof into dark energy under the door. "I hope we don't come across anything stronger than that in here! I kind of doubt it, but-

" **SUCH AS ME?** "

Link jumped and looked ahead of him. A spiky-haired blob stood in the steam that rose out of the lava ahead of him. He stood on a platform opposite Link, swinging his biceps around in circles creating loud cracking noises.

It was the 'big-bellied, bulky ball of blubber' himself. With an almighty inhale, his belly inflated and with an even bigger exhale, he blasted all the steam away. There he stood, grey hair, old tattoos, a wrinkled face and a gentle complexion.

"Darunia?" Navi's voice cracked up and down like a siren at the sight of the Goron. He looked much different that when Link was a child. Maybe Gorons aged quickly once they reached a certain age.

" **Yes! It's me! DARUNIA! What's shaking, brother?** "

"Me! This place is infested with bats and I think we are all melting in here!"

" **Right! It wasn't that hot before Volvagia got revived! Now it's too hot for even us Gorons!** **I was just going in that door behind me to take her out again!** "

Link's smile on meeting his old friend faded when he realised the truth of this. If Volvagia had been revived then that must have meant…

Oh, dear!

"Your son told me about… Volvagia." Link said blankly. "He said that one of your ancestors hit it with some hammer and it went into the sun. Do you have that hammer?"

" **Unfortunately not. I did have it but Ganondorf confiscated it and hid it somewhere in this temple.** "

"You can't go in there without that hammer!" exclaimed Link. Darunia raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need it to beat her?"

" **I really don't want to… but I have to. If that dragon is left alive for any longer, she'll eat my entire species!** " With that, Darunia pitched a rolled-up piece of paper across the lake to Link. " **That's a map of this place. Just follow it and you should find the cell where all my people are being held captive.** "

"Yes, sworn brother. I shall do that."

With nothing else to stall him, Darunia turned and was about to smash the wall in behind him but Link called him at the last moment. "Wait!"

" **Yes?** "

"Keep yourself safe. I'll be back with all the Gorons free and that hammer."

" **Jawohl, Bruder. See you later, all right?** " Darunia turned around, reeled his fist open and punched the wall with a massive **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

When all the dust cleared, he had disappeared through the hole he had created.

"Come on, Navi. We should be going."

* * *

Darunia burst through the wall and, after three seconds of aimless charging through rock and earth, he emerged in Volvagia's nest.

A single, round platform floating in a pool of lava, peppered with little holes full of lava.

The Goron King pulled himself up and looked around the room. There he was, alone in Volvagia's room without the hammer needed to smash her to pieces.

No! What am I saying! His fists were powerful enough by far!

"Great Ganondorf..."

A high, scratchy voice snaked through the air. "You have bought me another sacrifice! I hope this one is big and full of rock because I am starving!"

Darunia cracked his fist to prepare for battle. This was Volvagia. She was throwing her voice around the room, making it hard to pinpoint where she was. Her voice was cold and hoarse, a sharp contrast from the climate of the temple itself.

As Darunia watched, one of the little pools of lava on the platform began to hiss with bubbles like boiling water on a hob. Like a tortoise coming out of its shell, the most hideous face Darunia had seen all week began to rise from that pit of lava. As it saw him, its eyes narrowed.

"You're no sacrifice!" hissed the dragon.

" **You're right. I'm not a sacrifice. I am here to sacrifice YOU.** "

"I'd like to see you try!"

Much faster than it had appeared, Volvagia submerged into her lava pit and, like a streamer popper, shot out of it, flying into the air in a mesmerising spiral before aiming herself straight at Darunia, her mouth bent open and her stained fangs gleaming with the bright lava. As she spun, Darunia pulled back his fist and sent it flying forwards. With one loud hiss, Volvagia flew through the air and smashed straight into the wall. Darunia had punched her so hard that she left a crater where she landed. Her green eyes reddening, the dragon took off and flew at Darunia once more.

That was when things took a turn. Volvagia flew around to Darunia's back before quickly swerving around, hitting him with her axe of a tail. Shouting out, Darunia sank to the floor but not before grabbing Volvagia by the tail as she tried to escape. The sharp point started filing away at his hand, but he stood up and swung her round and round like a hammer. She hissed and spat until she was red in the face as the force from Darunia's spinning kept her unable to turn and bite him to free herself. She was clearly trying to but she couldn't bend herself at all. Finally, Darunia let go and threw her up.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The whole cavern shook as Volvagia hit the ceiling. Darunia wobbled a little as the earth shook but he quickly lowered onto all fours, allowing him to keep his bearings.

All was quiet.

Had he just beaten her already? Could he join Link and free his people?

 **Rummmmmmmmmmmmble…**

Darunia's eyes suddenly widened. Volvagia was cunning. There was no way she had been defeated already. She must have been pretending. Whenever you could hear silence from her, she was up to something, just like a toddler. The Great Goron's suspicions were proven right when he saw giant boulders raining down from the ceiling, Volvagia drifting down with them. She had thin eyes and a smug grin as if she knew she had just got her sibling into trouble.

All Darunia could do was roll himself up and pray that the damage was minimal.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter._ _"_


	35. Metronomic Man Mashing

"What was that noise, Link?"

Navi alerted Link to a loud crash that they had just heard behind them. Link was now several rooms into the east of the temple buried in the map Darunia had given him. He was halfway through a smooth brick labyrinth when he heard an almighty smashing noise. Deducing that this came from where Darunia was, Link quickened his pace. The sooner he could go to assist him, the better.

 **Squelch!**

Next thing he knew, he stepped in something and when he looked down, his boot was on fire. " **AAAAARGH!** I'm on fire! I'm on fire!"

"Link! Your flask!" Navi squeaked quickly as Link dropped to the floor and began rolling around as if his entire body was ablaze. Just about hearing Navi over his own screaming, he pulled his flask out and dropped a small amount on his boot, extinguishing the fire before it could cause any pain. As he rolled backwards, he stood up and looked down at what had set him on fire.

It looked like someone had doused a pancake in brandy, set it on fire, flipped it and forgot to catch it. It was a red, flat gastropod shrouded in fire. It had a footprint stamped on its back from where Link had stepped on it.

 **SCHLLUP!**

Suddenly, it turned its white eyestalks to face Link, causing him to cringe from the noise it made. He swiftly drew the Master Sword to destroy whatever monster this was, but Navi quickly stopped him by flying right in front of him. "Link! Don't kill that!"

To avoid hitting Navi, Link stilled his blade. "Why not?"

"It's just a Torch Slug!" Navi said, "They're animals, not monsters! All you need to do is make sure you don't step on them and you should stay unlit!."

Link looked down at the Torch Slug, whose eyestalks were erect from fear, before he quickly sheathed the Master Sword. "Sorry for stepping on you." So that he didn't step on it again, Link took a few paces forwards and around a corner. He looked around the floor for more Torch Slugs before looking back at his map. He could see icons dotted around several of the rooms, each marked with a unique number. This corresponded to a list on the side of the map, explaining what the number pointed out.

Sounds useful, right? Well, not really.

Everything was in German.

 **1: Eintrag**

 **2: Lavadampfkavernen**

 **3: Drachennest**

 **4: Anbetungstatue**

 **5: Gefängniszelle**

"What on earth?" grumbled Link under his breath as he scrutinised the German writing. It was a very confusing feeling. The words almost looked like English, yet they also looked nothing like it. "How am I supposed to read this?"

Navi landed on Link's shoulder to look for herself. For a moment, she started to fade into her thoughtful green but ended up turning neon green. "Oh, right! I see what you mean. Let me have a look and see if I can..."

Link looked surprised. "You speak German?"

"No, I don't but… I might be able to make a few of them out." Navi pointed to number three. "See? That one clearly says 'Dragon nest'. It's… the room that Darunia went into."

Link's eyes shifted back nervously. "And… What about number five?" His trembling finger pointed to " **Gefängniszelle** "

"I have no idea, but… judging by the fact that the icon by the number is of a cage, I'd say this is where all the Gorons are being held captive. We should go there first."

"I agree. We are in this labyrinth at the moment so if we want to get through to the end, we need to go… left… left again… right… and… Bingo!"

* * *

Wengen looked out through the bars of his cell. Nekketsu had not lost a single beat nor had he even broke a sweat since Ganondorf left them all there. The entire time, he had just walked back and forth and back and forth, his arms pushing into his opposite sleeves, his eyes shut, his head up and his expression stern. He had changed so little that Wengen thought he was getting déjà vu.

Still, he and the others had devised a plan to get help. One wrong answer and it would all fall apart, but it was better than nothing.

1) Wengen would gather the kids together and stand at the jail bars.

2) He would ask Nekketsu if the children could use the toilet.

3) If he were to say yes, Nekketsu would lead them to the toilets and wait outside.

4) The kids would quickly go inside.

5) Using the Lizalfos costume that their father was making, they would all climb inside and form a Goron totem pole on the inside.

6) They would then exit the room and slip past Nekketsu before leaving the temple and finding assistance.

"Are you almost done?" Mürren whispered to his father as he finished the final few stitches on the costume. Wengen answered for him.

"It's ready."

"Good!"

Mürren signalled to a beefy Goron who was at the front of the cell. Upon seeing her signal, he nodded and waved at Nekketsu. " **Hey! Karate guy! We need to ask something of you!** "

Nekketsu suddenly stopped prowling. Narrowing his eyes, he slowly turned his head to the Goron. " **Eh?** "

" **Please have a heart! The young ones need to use the Wasserklosett!** "

Nekketsu sneered out of the side of his mouth, showing his pearly white teeth. " **Heh.** " The Goron's faces all lit up as the monster reached down into a pocket of his purple Karategi and, feeling his fingers hit something, he pulled out a little golden key with a pink gem welded into the middle of it. As he cornered the lock to open it, he shot the rest of the Gorons a killer look so they wouldn't all try to escape. When the young ones heard the door unlocking, they all ran to the front, hopping up and down wildly and trembling their lips.

"Emergency! Emergency! It's an emergency! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! My eyeballs are starting to overflow! Where's the bathroom? I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go!"

Nekketsu led the children down a hallway labelled "W.C →" before finally arriving at a swinging door which was the toilets.

"Thank you!" gibbered Wengen hurriedly as he, Mürren and a third Goron all went rushing off past the swinging door and into a stall. Not saying anything, Nekketsu turned around away from the entrance and stood straight up at attention, waiting for them to come back out.

He waited…

and waited…

and waited…

and waited. He waited for so long that he started to nod off at the door.

This was suspicious. Nekketsu cracked his knuckles and turned to march into the toilets and catch the three conspiring against him. As he did, however, someone came wobbling out through the door, hitting him with it in the process. Out waddled a green, tall lizard carrying an extravagant knife. It was a Lizalfos… who had apparently had too much to drink.

"It'sssssssss just me!" hissed the Lizalfos, his wobbling arm saluting Nekketsu. "Just a ssssssssshort break, that'ssssssssssss all!"

Groaning as he stood up from being smacked in the face with a door, Nekketsu saluted the Lizalfos, visibly trying to hold back his annoyance. As the Lizalfos vanished around the corner, he continued on his way to bust the three Gorons. When he went in, the door abruptly shut again, whacking him on the back and sending him crashing to the floor.

 **BUMP!** " **AAAAAAARGH!** "

* * *

The drunken Lizalfos swayed down the labyrinth of corridors, making dead sure not to step on any Torch Slugs. Doing so would most likely set its costume on fire.

"All right, we've escaped." noted a voice from inside the Lizalfos costume. "What are we meant to do now? Who do we find?"

"A Zora?" suggested the Goron who was at the bottom.

"No, you know that they are weak against fire. They'll have a hard time coming in here, let alone taking down Volvagia!"

"Us three?" rang the voice all the way at the top.

"Are you serious? Darunia is fighting her right now! If he finds out, he'll go bonkers!"

"A Hylian?"

"That's not a bad idea, actually. Have you checked if Link still has that red tunic because we could offer that to them."

"I don't think we need to." said the voice on top. He manoeuvred the head of the costume up and around a corner. "Someone's already wearing it."

* * *

Still buried in the map, Link turned the corner and stepped over a Torch Slug. Navi suddenly sprung to attention, having heard clicking sounds on the floor ahead, like that of a dog walking across a hard surface.

 **Clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak, clak…**

Making sure to produce as little noise as he could manage, Link drew the Master Sword and slipped the Hylian Shield onto his arm. He recognised this noise back when he fought the pair of Lizalfos in Dodongo's Cavern. As Navi began to slowly advance around the corner to scout for it, Link readied his sword…

Navi peeked around the corner before jumping back and nodding at Link affirmatively. Not saying a word so he wouldn't blow his own cover, Link gave a quick nod back to her and beckoned his fairy back to his side.

* * *

Around the corner, the Lizalfos started twitching as the three Gorons inside started whispering to each other on how to recruit the man around the corner. The kids all got stressed as they heard the man stepping around the corner, drawing an energetic sword. The one on top quickly put his head up to see through the eyes of his costume but he quickly ducked when he saw a blue, blurred blade being swung straight at his costume's neck.

 **VUM! TSSSSSK!**

* * *

As he heard hissing around the corner, Link hopped to the side, rolled on the floor, stood up and, with a quick cut, took the head off the Lizalfos that was prowling around the corner. Its wobbly body collapsed to the floor as its head, which… seemed to be hollow, fell to the floor and flattened like a tyre.

"Good grief, he almost knocked my head off!" came a voice from inside the body of the Lizalfos. Link's face scrunched itself up in confusion. He was so bewildered that he could not speak.

Navi flew over to the neck hole of the Lizalfos, which had its rim glowing red hot, before she reluctantly flew inside. Link crouched down to wait for her return but she suddenly turned neon green inside the Lizalfos. "What in the world? What are you three doing in here?"

"What? Navi, are you joking?" Link raised his eyebrows. "Was that just… some kind of puppet Lizalfos that you didn't tell me about?"

Navi flew back out of the neck, still shocked as three Goron children crawled out, shivering like jelly after nearly having their heads cut off. "Huh?" Link pretended to remove his eyes and rub them on his tunic before putting them back in. "What's going on? I thought you were a monster!"

Navi turned a stern orange. "One of you had better explain!"

One of the Gorons stood up. Link instantly recognised him as Wengen, one of the kind Gorons who had helped him through Dodongo's Cavern. Next to him was Mürren, his sis… I mean his brother! I am never going to get used to that!

"Are you a… Hylian, by chance?" Wengen asked, dodging Navi's demand. Mürren seemed a little interested in Link. More than a little. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he stepped closer and closer to Link to get a good look at his face and confirm his suspicions.

"I am and I know you." replied Link. "You are… Wengen."

As he always did, Link forgot to pronounce the W like a V. Nevertheless, Wengen understood what he tried to say and his jaw clattered open. "Whaaaat? How did you know that?"

"Brother, do you remember seven years ago?" Mürren turned to his brother and then to Link.

"Yes, what about it?"

"Do you remember the boy who dethroned that dictator Dodongo?"

"Why, of course I do! Darunia named his son after him! It was L-" Once again, Wengen's eyes dilated and widened as he stumbled back. "No! No way. Are you-?"

"Link. I am Link and- **Oof!** " Link suddenly had the breath squeezed out of him as Wengen and Mürren both gave him a big, group Goron hug. The third Goron, still mostly in the Lizalfos costume, tilted his head and narrowed one eye.

"Do you know this guy?" he breathed as Mürren and Wengen pulled themselves away from their hero. When they turned to the third Goron, they had the biggest smiles on their faces.

"Gündlischwand, this is Link. Link, this is Gündlischwand."

"Gunders-what?"

"Gündlischwand. I know, it's a bit of a mouthful, but I'm used to it." The new Goron approached Link and looked at him with wobbling, beady eyes. "You're a hero to us all, Link, but I'm afraid you're going to have to cement that further."

"I came here to do just that." Link declared, lightly placing his hand on Gündlischwand's shoulder. "It's about Volvagia, isn't it?"

Gündlischwand shook his head. "Not at the moment. All of our Gorons are locked up and there's this karate monster that I think is called… Nekketsu or something. He's guarding them all. We escaped by posing as a Lizalfos, but that may not last long. If he finds out that we duped him, he'll punish everyone left! We need you to find and take him on!"

"Nekketsu, huh? What does he look like?" Navi asked.

"He wears purple gear and he has a black belt, he has black hair and eyebrows, orange eyes… red shoes… That's all I can remember."

"Don't worry." Link answered softly, "Lead my to the cell and I'll see what I can do."

* * *

As Wengen, Mürren and.. the third guy with the tongue twister of a name led Link through the maze, Link couldn't help but notice something about his map. Sheik had said that playing the Bolero of Fire by a statue in the temple, he would get a new ability. Looking at the numbers on his map, he was getting very close to number for. What was number 4?

Anbetungstatue.

Anbetung **statue.**

"Navi?" whispered Link, stepping over a Torch Slug. "Come and look at number four."

Navi did as she was told. She pinpointed their current location before darting down to the number line to read the word. "What about it?"

"If that isn't the statue that Sheik was talking about then I don't know what is."

"You might be right about that."

Not telling this to the three Gorons in front of him, Link turned around the corner and looked to his left where the number 4 was marked.

There it was.

It wasn't a statue of a person, like Link had thought. It was a round, stone platform surrounded by three simple rocks with holes in them. These holes bore see-through, glass crystals. The platform had been painted red to resemble a fiery vortex.

"Everyone, stop here for a moment. What is this statue?" Link asked the three Gorons. They all immediately stopped walking and followed Link's eyes.

"That?" said Mürren, "That's Din's worshipping podium. We worship her here. In fact, there's a specific song that was once played here and the player apparently got the ability to shoot fire."

"Aha! I think I know that song! Just wait here and, with any luck, I'll have improved my arsenal if I need to ever tangle with this Nekketsu guy."

The Gorons and Navi stayed silent as Link mounted the platform and untangled the Ocarina of Time from himself. He raised it and, just as Sheik had taught him, he played the Bolero of Fire.

As he continued playing, the crystals in the three monuments surrounding him began to shine with a fireball each. Each Goron stepped back and gasped but didn't dare warn him. He was doing the right thing and they weren't going to interrupt him.

On a completely random note of the song, there was a loud blast of fire, almost stopping Link's heart and making him drop his instrument on the floor. The fire in the crystals all crackled loudly as they phased out of them like ghosts through a wall. As they began to shoot at him, Link ducked and covered his eyes but the fireballs disappeared inside of him, only giving him slight heartburn.

"Ow! I think I did it! But… What happened?" Link mused. He looked down at his fingertips, which were now crackling hot and red.

"Link, I know what that is!" trilled Navi, turning an inspired yellow, "That is Din's Fire! It lets you either shoot out a constant stream of fire or one really strong fireball."

"Are there any catches to this?"

"As far as I'm aware, the stream of fire will slowly drain your stamina while the big fireball will automatically take away a big chunk of it, so be careful."

"And how do I use it?"

"Simple, you just-"

" **HEY!** "

Link, Navi and the Gorons all looked in unison at what had shouted at them. Red in the face, a monster stomped down the hallway. His red slippers clacked against the floor from the force he was walking at. To say he was miffed about being tricked was a really big understatement.

Nekketsu was **FURIOUS.**

"Is this Nekketsu?" Link hurriedly asked the Gorons. They only nodded with dread at him, prompting Link to draw the Master Sword and bag the Ocarina of Time before it could be damaged. With a battle-ready war shout, Link held the Master Sword in both hands, leaped into the air and swung downwards. Nekketsu just stood there, arms down by his side, legs straight, eyes shut, face neutral, until the very last moment. When the sword came close to singing his hair, he-

 **CHINK! FZZZZZZZZZZT!**

-caught the blade of the Master Sword with a swift clap. Link gasped loudly as Nekketsu put on a slashing smile. How? How was the Master Sword not instantly chopping his hands off?

Nekketsu raised his leg and kicked Link back, winding him. Mürren, Wengen and Gündlischwand nervously backed away and around the corner as Link dragged himself to his feet using his sword. "Navi, go and lock on, will you?" he panted at his fairy, who turned bright yellow and did so.

"Just look for some openings and keep your guard up. Use your shield instead of just your sword!"

"Got it!"

Once again, Link leaped at Nekketsu, pretending to do an overhead swing, but as Nekketsu raised his hands to catch the sword again Link moved his blade and went for a side hit. His reflexes like that of a cat, Nekketsu rolled back and out of the way before being hit. The side of his face twitched in anger as he reached behind him, returned his arm with a round, metal ball. He reversed his arm back and pitched the ball over his head. Not only did he have a black belt wrapped around his black belt which was wrapped around another black belt, he also was a dab hand at the shot put.

The ball flew in an arc towards Link. If it were to hit him it would probably have caved in his skull. He threw his shield up and let it absorb all the impact.

 **CLONNNNNNNNG!**

Link awkwardly blocked the projectile, leaving his arm buzzing and numb. It was like trying to launch a bowling ball with a cricket bat. While he was blinded by his own shield, Nekketsu rushed him down, striking him with punch after punch and kick after kick. Link held his shield in various positions but Nekketsu's reactions were too good and he just started attacking in different areas. After he was done playing with his prey, he performed a Tomoe Nage which lobbed Link over his head and into the three Gorons with a **CRAAAAAASH!**

"Are you three all right?" blithered Link as he pulled himself up once more.

"Are **we** all right? What about you?" spat Mürren as she helped everyone else up.

"I'm fine, but-" Suddenly, Link found himself cut off by Nekketsu charging straight at him. "-bear with me..."

With that, he pulled the Hookshot out and fired the hook at Nekketsu's sleeve. It hit squarely, digging itself in and not coming out. Nekketsu flinched and shouted, but Link turned and hauled the Hookshot over his head, tossing Nekketsu to the floor in front of him.

" **Ooh!** " roared the monster as he hit the floor with a thud.

Link wasn't done with that. The Hookshot still connected, he turned and slammed Nekketsu to the floor on the other side of him.

" **Ah!** "

Still feeling the need for more, Link repeatedly turned and slammed the Karate monster to the floor on either side of him like an inverted pendulum. All the while, it sounded like Nekketsu was singing a rather repetitive pop song.

" **Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!** "

The Gorons all tried to suppress their growing giggles from Link's metronomic man mashing, but they almost turned to stone… well, inanimate stone, as part of Nekketsu's sleeve ripped and sent him crashing to the floor. As quick as he had attacked, he leaped to his feet but his energy seemed to have drained a bit.

Slowly, his eyes began to turn red.

Slowly, fire began to envelop his arms and legs.

Suddenly, a massive inferno spread over him, completely covering his figure. His demonic laughs rose over the roaring flames as Link shielded his face from the light and Navi flew back to his side.

" **Hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha! HAR, HAR HAR HAR HAR!** "

 **BOOOOOOOM!**

All the fire dispersed and Nekketsu was no longer recognisable. Before he had transformed he looked like a disciplined yet crazy karate monster. Now, he had transformed into what looked like an effigy of Guy Fawkes on Bonfire Night.

"He was a Flare Dancer all along!" squeaked Navi.

"A Flare Dancer?" Link echoed. The Flare Dancer bent his leg and placed it on his other one as if he were doing the tree pose.

" **Lift that arm, reach it high, kick that leg, work that thigh! Wriggle right, leap on left, that's is how you lose your heft!** "

Rave music blasted from the Flare Dancer as it chanted along. It pirouetted towards Link with some hot and elegant kicks. Link quickly threw his defences up. The Flare Dancer managed to hit his shield several times to the beat of the music, shoving him back with every one.

" **One, two, three, four, Now I'll raise your pain some more!** "

The Flare Dancer turned around, lowered its head and began walking backwards with a motion that looked more like it was trying to go forward. As it strutted past Link, it left a sizzling trail of lava behind it. The Flare Dancer completely circled his opponent with a ring of lava, preventing any kind of escape.

" **This move here will make you quake, lets see how much you can take!** "

With Link immobilised, the Flare Dancer began spinning psychedelically with a move that looked like it came right out of a Michael Jackson music video. It glided across the lake of lava it had produced and collided cleanly with the Master Sword. Having taken damage, the lava all vanished and the Flare Dancer's flames turned green.

" **OW! Spinning is a lot of fun, you'll survive this if you run, gotta keep things going fast OR THIS FIGHT WILL BE YOUR LAST!** "

Nothing was stopping this scarecrow from continuing his song. Its leg out, the Flare Dancer spun towards Link like a helicopter at some speed. When Link blocked it, the Flare Dancer bounced off his shield and began spinning in the other direction, pinging and ponging off the walls like it was in a pinball machine. It spun around and around, gaining speed as the Gorons all dived out of its way.

Link, on the other hand, was preparing to use his new skill. Din's Fire. He cupped his hand and, after moments of intense trembling, a gaseous fireball poofed into his hand. Already, he could feel his skin getting hotter.

" **I have filled you full of dread and my reward lies ahead! Your future is looking red and very soon I will be...** "

The Flare Dancer shut its mouth in an instant and stopped spinning when it noticed that Link had fired a small but powerful fireball at him. It zigzagged left and right as the Flare Dancer stood still, unsure of what to finish his song with.

" **I will be...** "

The fireball got closer and closer, darting left and right light a little red mouse. The fire around the Flare Dancer started shrinking from fear.

" **I will be… I will be d-** "

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

Link, Navi and the Gorons hid around the corners as the fireball struck the Flare Dancer right in its unprotected core. It violently detonated the second it hit, creating a massive, dome-shaped blast that sent deafening sound waves hurtling through the air, assaulting anyone within fifty feet. Sand and stone sailed around as Link covered his eyes, as did everyone else. The debris cleared, revealing a gaping pit in the floor, smoke trailing out of it. All that was left was the charred theatre mask that the enemy wore, permanently frozen in a shocked expression.

The Flare Dancer was no more.

"Good going, Link!" congratulated Gündlischwand, a smile crossing his face. Navi was right. The fight with the Flare Dancer had already tired him out, but using Din's Fire had left him breathless.

Now was no time to be feeling depleted, though.

"Thank you." said Link to Gündlischwand, "I'm not done yet, however. I must free your kind!"

With that, Link continued walking through the maze. It was now one straight stretch with no branching corridors. Either this was a dead end…

or all the Gorons were waiting for him.

* * *

 **Quote of the Day:**

* * *

 _"_ _If you hit a wall, climb over it, crawl under it, or dance on top of it._ _"_


	36. You Die

The three Gorons took Link into an open, natural room where all the Gorons were being held captive. They had all curled up and looked like featureless rocks, so Link thought that, for a moment, there was no one in the cell. Wengen, Mürren and Gündlischwand all knew why. If Nekketsu were to come back after they fled, they would have all been punished horribly.

"Link, don't say anything." whispered Mürren, "Just free them before things get ugly. If they know you're here then they'll all go mad."

Link nodded at him in response. Being as slow as he could, Link slid the Master Sword out of its sheathe and aimed it at the lock.

 **VUM! SHING!**

All the Gorons suddenly pulled their heads up in unison as Link severed the lock straight from the bars. With a squeak, the door swung open. Everyone held still from a moment. They could not believe that they were free. Nekketsu was gone and so was their imprisonment.

"Well?" started Link at the silence, "You're free! Run for it!"

…

…

…

Have all the Gorons already escaped and replaced themselves with giant rocks or something? This lot is quieter than a sensory deprivation room!

Oops, never mind! They got up and all began swarming Link, Navi, Wengen, Mürren and Gündlischwand, screaming their German thank-you's at the top of their massive lungs.

" **DANKE DIR!** "

" **DANKE DIR!** "

" **DANKE DIR!** "

" **DANKE DIR!** "

To an English speaker like Link, it sounded like they were talking about an unpleasantly damp and cold deer, yet it made perfect sense to the Gorons. A few of the young Gorons started talking with Mürren, Wengen and Gündlischwand in German and, after a German response from them all, they joined Link and his team. The others either went off to Goron City to man defences in case any attempts to restore peace failed or they fled from Death Mountain as far away as they could.

Link was left with seven Gorons.

"I think that's everyone!" joked Navi, turning a mix of amused pink and bemused purple. Link's party nodded.

"Now we have to find the Megaton Hammer that slew Volvagia and then get to Darunia in time." Link added on, ignoring the joke. "He's counting on us and we can't fail!"

Link walked past his party and clattered the metal door open. "Are you all coming with me?"

All of the Gorons stayed with no words passing through. They wanted to help Link but a the same time they knew that they might easily get themselves killed along the way.

"Come on!" urged Wengen, "What do you say? Yes or no? It's not too late to go back to the city!"

…

All the new Gorons went red in the face from stress. Still, they said nothing.

Instead, they politely nodded their heads.

* * *

" **Come out!** " boomed Darunia, brandishing his fists in front of his face. His voice was so loud, it shook rocks from the walls and dropped them into the lava with a sizzling hiss. " **Didn't you hear me? I said come out, you Hohlkopf!** "

"Oh. I hear you all right..." Volvagia snaked out of a pit of lava behind Darunia. "I smell you… I hear you… I see you… I taste you!"

Darunia felt a stabbing pain in his back, causing him to contort forward and cry out as Volvagia sank her fangs into his back once again. This time he leaped into the air and collapsed onto his back to crush the fire serpent underneath it.

 **CRUMP!**

The searing pain in his back suddenly stopped. When he stood up, he looked behind him to see if he had truly outsmarted Volvagia and…

...she had scarpered. She had pulled a Houdini on him. Her teeth were no longer imprinted in his back. He didn't know where they were now, which was somehow even worse.

 **Whoooooooosh!**

Suddenly, Volvagia flew an an arc around the big brother, smoke belching from her nostrils like they were train whistles. "Got you! You'll be my most filling meal yet, you will!" she slithered, elongating her words as if they tasted like chocolate pudding.

" **I deny!** " Darunia staggered back, the fight having sapped his energy. Every muscle in his body felt like it was about to snap like elastic bands.

Volvagia grinned sadistically, baring her fangs and igniting them. "You DIE!" corrected the dragon. With one terrifying lunge she sank her teeth into Darunia's thick hide, tucking into what was her first meal in almost four hours.

* * *

Just a few dozen meters away, a Lizalfos prowled the praying room of the temple, clicking and hissing in circles around the statue in the middle. In his hands, he wielded a silver, heavy hammer with a leather handle.

 **FOOOOOOOOM!**

From out of nowhere, a jet of fire scorched the scaled monster, setting its clothing ablaze. Its high squeals drowned in the sea of flames as the shooter slowly walked towards it, his glowing sword swiftly slashing through the inferno and vanquishing the blighter instantly.

Link shook his hand limply to relieve the slight twinge in his hand from using Din's Fire before advancing to collect his prize. "Is this the hammer?" he whispered back at his team of Gorons. All of them nodded, darting their eyes around in case the noise from the fight alerted more guards.

"That… is the Megaton Hammer." said Wengen, stepping out when he was sure the coast was clear. "The King to start all Kings used it in his famous battle with Volvagia the fire serpent! He battered her so hard, she flew all the way out of the temple and into the sun! Now she's back for revenge… against his descendant!"

Link's face wrinkled as the reality set in. If Volvagia was not completely and utterly erased permanently after being launched into the sun, defeating her was not going to be easy.

"How in the name of Din did it survive that?" Navi screeched slowly like a piece of chalk on a board. She was now completely white, but yellow was starting to fade in. "If the heat didn't kill her, the radiation should have been more than enough!"

"Well, it did kill her." Mürren answered, "Ganondorf sacrificed a few Gorons in her nest and… it bought her back somehow. I don't know how he knew about that, but the point is that she's back for Big Brother's hide and-"

Suddenly, Mürren was cut off by a deafening screech from Volvagia's nest. All the children slammed his hands over their ears and squinted as the ground shook. It sounded horrible. Even worse than a knife against a wine bottle.

"-it sounds like she's got it." finished Mürren as he dug his finger in his ear to restore his hearing.

"Look, the rest isn't important!" Link said urgently as he grabbed the Megaton Hammer and struggled to heft it above himself. "We have to save your leader! Come on!"

Link dashed past the Gorons, trying his best to avoid bonking any of them on the head with his new hammer, but it was slowing him down so he bunged it in his bag to relieve it of its weight. All the Gorons stood still for a few moments, exchanging some looks, but Wengen started to run after Link. This prompted Mürren to go after him and, within seconds, all the Gorons were rolling down the temple after Link.

* * *

The fighting noises grew and grew as Link ran through the maze that was the Fire Temple. To say that Link was frustrated couldn't be further from the truth. He felt like he was about to burst open. As the sounds of gnashing as screeching got louder, he narrowed it down to a crossroad down at the very south of the labyrinth. The more time they spent in there, the more jittery Navi got, the more sweaty Link got and the more anxious every Goron stopped.

"Where is she?" hissed Link as he arrived at the southern crossroad for the umpteenth time. He kicked the floor in frustration as the sound of biting continued snapping from underneath him. "Don't just stand there!" he exclaimed at the crowd of Gorons, "Where's the exit? We're lost!"

"If I may… We're on the first floor. We're above her." came a voice from one of the Gorons at the back. Link's fist trembled and he pressed his top set of teeth on his bottom lip, producing a frustrated hissing noise. "But all hope is not lost."

Every single pair of eyes turned on this one Goron, who was clearly younger than everyone else. Mürren approached him in his usual calm way. "What do you have in mind? Think it through because there is a lot at stake here."

"I suggest..." started the small Goron, his voice wobbling with fright, "that you pound the ground with your new hammer until we get to soil underneath. Then, we can all dig a tunnel down into Volvagia's nest and help big brother!"

The Gorons all huddled together, whispering in German to each other. Link took the Megaton Hammer into both his hands, ready for affirmation. He didn't even need to be informed when all the Gorons nodded and smiled, Link raised the Megaton Hammer above his head, almost toppling over backwards from its weight, before he smashed it into the concrete.

 **BANG! SMAAAAAASH!**

* * *

 **BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!**

Link ran into the face of flying soil as Mürren, Wengen and Gündlischwand pounded through the ground, digging their large fingers into the earth and flinging pieces over their shoulders. All the other Gorons hid behind Link, who was protecting them from the projectiles with his shield.

"So, do you know how I can beat Volvagia?" Link asked any of the Gorons behind him, "Should I know anything before I go in?"

One of the Gorons raised his hand as if he were in a classroom. "Sir?" he uttered nervously.

"Yes?"

"I think I know. When she pops her head out of the pools of lava in the arena, that means her exoskeletal helmet is vulnerable for you to hit with your hammer."

"Thank you, kid. You're really helpful, you know that?"

The Goron boy was about to smile but he was interrupted when red and orange colours exploded into everyone's eyes and the ground vanished from below their feet.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

Everyone clattered to the rocky, jagged island in a lake of lava. It was like a rockslide. The big boned Gorons nearly landed clean on top of Link, who would have become a pancake if they had.

"Owwww..." he grunted as he got up and dusted himself off, "Is anyone hurt? Are we all OK?"

"A few baddies..." huffed Gündlischwand, "but I'll live."

Another Goron was looking left and right, his expression slowly going from pain to… emotional pain. When Link looked with him, he knew exactly why and started to feel the same way. Darunia was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't fighting, he wasn't waiting, he wasn't even laying in a heap on the floor.

There was a small pile of brown rocks laying like shards of glass in a ring of smoke imprinted into the ground, though.

"No." said Link, expressionless. "No!"

By now, all of the Gorons had noticed the absence of their leader. Three of them stayed silent in shock but the others began calling.

" **Darunia!** "

" **DARUNIA!** "

" **Big brother!** "

"Darunia..." Navi whimpered as she watched all the Gorons search every inch of the platform for their leader. The walls were invisible, shrouded by dark shadows. Not even the lava lit the room fully up.

As all the Gorons screamed and searched the room, Link knelt on the floor, facing the ring of ash. "Your service was admirable." he said to Darunia, putting his fist over his heart. "You served us all well. Thanks, brother."

"He did his best, Link." whispered Navi. She landed on Link's buckling legs. "He stalled Volvagia long enough so that she could not eat any more Gorons and he succeeded."

"But what about this lot?" Link asked her, his tone equal with hers. "We're trapped with no way out."

Navi turned her head to all the children. Instead of mourning, they were gathering at one of the many little pools of lava on the island. They were all watching the bubbles.

The bubbles that were only appearing in that one specific spot of lava.

The bubbles that were getting more and more violent.

Eventually, the surface of the lava started rising like a cake in the oven.

"Boys, watch out!" Link drew his sword and ran at the congregation, which split them all up and drove them away from the pool. Suddenly, the magma surface burst open. Lava hissed through the air as Link defended himself against it with the Hylian Shield. All the Gorons looked in terror as a long, thin serpent broke the surface of the lava. It was red with a solid, white underbelly. A majestic travesty of fiery hair flowed off the back of its head like a golden waterfall and it had an exoskull. It had tiny hands lower down on its body and, while no one could see it, its tail was sharpened like a machete.

"It's her!" breathed one of the Gorons, his teeth clacking in terror.

The Searing Serpent of the Sea of Smoke and Steam,

 **VOLVAGIA.**

* * *

"Well, is it my birthday?" whined the dragon. Her eyes slitted with satisfaction. "First a big Goron comes along and was the best meal I've ever had and now he's bought all the puddings around!" Grinning insanely, Volvagia lowered her head to be eye level with Gündlischwand and disturbingly traced her scales and head around him like she was an affectionate dog. "Oh, you should have seen his face! You should have heard the crunching! You would have loved it!"

Gündlischwand began trembling as Volvagia rubbed herself against his chin. Now he was the dog and she was its sadistic, vicious owner. All the other Gorons didn't dare speak at the risk of being turned into a rock rotisserie. Even Link didn't draw the Master Sword in case she hurt them. "Look at that, your very last king, your very last big brother. Just like your very last hope… it died."

Volvagia continued nuzzling herself all over Gündlischwand's back, prompting him to curl himself up into a ball, like how a person would hide under their covers. "Accepting your fate. Good boy. And goodbye."

Lava slobbering from her mouth, Volvagia shut her eyes and unhinged her jaw on the trembling Goron, but footsteps pounding over made her shut her mouth and open her eyes. Link almost took Volvagia's head clean off with the Master Sword and he would have done if she hadn't reared out of the way. The Master Sword landed with a numbing smack in the igneous rock, sending a hum up Link's arm.

"Shut up, you fibbing weasel!" Link panted, red in the face. He pulled the Master Sword out of the ground and pointed the tip at the draconian dragon. "You're lying! You're trying to dampen my spirits! Darunia didn't die! You're too weak for him!"

All the Gorons looked at Link with jaw-dropped shock. Some of them backed away and began to climb down the ledge to wade in the lava, sensing Volvagia's anger to be so great that it would create a blasting eruption that would envelop the world. A few ran behind Link to help him stand his ground. Volvagia glared a burning hole straight through Link, sending Navi inside Link's red hat.

"Deny and defy all you want, Hylian… Your sworn brother is gone whether you like it or not. The question is… will you follow him?"

"That's a stupid question!" Navi screeched, still under Link's hat, "Of course he's not! Where will he follow him too?"

"Why, to the afterlife, of course! Where else?"

As she argued and bickered with the dragon like an old wife, Link's eyes started to drift down to Volvagia's body in the little lava hole. It looked like she was slowly lowering into it. The lines on her belly slowly got lower, each one hissing down the hole.

Don't ask him how, but Link knew exactly what the dragon was doing and dove sideways just as a sharp tail burst out of a hole right behind him and almost cut off his head. Volvagia frowned in frustration as she started to cleave the air with her tail in a vain attempt to end her new foe. Link drew the Master Sword with the Hylian Shield and began duelling with the troublesome tail. Volvagia knew of the Master Sword's power, so whenever Link retaliated she withdrew her weaponised tail.

"You really should mind your own business and let me turn these Gorons into toast!" Volvagia hissed as her head completely sank beneath the lava. Lowering with her, the point of the tail vanished with a plop.

Link took out the Megaton Hammer before he ran to check on his team. "Is everyone safe?" he called down the edge of the platform.

"No one's hurt?" added Navi. She flew down to the sea of lava below, where all the Gorons hid. One Goron raised his head towards her.

"No. We're all fine. Us Gorons are unharmed by lava so we can hide down here until enough of our energy is built and then we can all join you and finish her off!"

"So..." Navi flew around the Goron's head, turning gold with inspiration and making it look like the Goron was wearing a halo. "What you're saying is that..."

"He's saying that he is **WEAK** and needs to laze around in order to get anything done!" The Dragon's rasping voice slashed through the air once again, along with her. She burst out of the lava directly under the Goron, knocking him into the air. Before she was out of range, he threw his hand out and seized her singing mane. Volvagia hissed and spat as her hair began to get pulled straight from her exoskull. "Daaagh! Stop that, parasite! Let go!"

But the Goron was not in a listening mood. Even when Volvagia managed to throw him off, he lashed out with his hand, slid it down her thin body and stopped it entirely when it reached the hilt of her tail. As she thrashed around the room like a broken streamer, the Goron began to climb back up her body until he reached her head again. He cracked his hand into a fist and threw a haymaker at her, ringing an almighty crack throughout the cave and getting a scream out of Volvagia. " **AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!** Why, you little…"

"Hammer boy!" the Goron called down to Link, not knowing his actual name. He was almost sent flying clean off by a sharp turn but he grabbed Volvagia's head and hung on, covering her eyes and smashing her into a wall.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

"Throw up the hammer!" he yelled. Rocks started to dislodge from the ceiling and assault the floor. Link held his shield upwards like an umbrella, flawlessly deflecting all the rocks. They all shattered into shards on contact, causing the Hylian Shield to start glowing red. He had heard the Goron's order but the Megaton Hammer was really heavy. He needed her to dive and pass him in an attempt to hit him so that he could pass the young Goron the hammer but she still lagged out of reach.

"Link! Move it!" Navi's snapping voice was almost as powerful as Volvagia's jaws and rightly so, as a giant, glowing boulder was engulfing Link with its shadow. He only just narrowly avoided landing straight in one of the many lava holes as he dived to evade it.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Quickly leaping back up to his feet, Link pulled the Megaton Hammer back out as Volvagia finally shook the Goron off of her, knocking him to the floor. Raving, foaming lava at the mouth, Volvagia twisted to block Link and then spewed a jet of fire straight at him and Navi. Link quickly picked up his hat and slammed it back on over Navi before standing at ease to take the jet of flames…

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

…

…

Much to Link's surprise and bewilderment, nothing happened to him. He didn't feel anything! It felt like someone had simply turned a hair dryer on him. The one thing the blast of fire accomplished was heating up the Megaton Hammer until it shone red like a glowstick. Link's clothes saw no difference either. They hadn't melted, they hadn't hardened, they hadn't even gone black. Not even his face was flambéed. It was the Goron Tunic, coming through for him again.

"No!" screeched Volvagia as she sat coiled on the floor like a snake, reeling her head backwards. "Can't move!"

Breathing that jet of fire had weakened the dragon to the point where it could no longer fly. She tried to draw her tail from underneath her coils, but she was stuck with it. Out of breath, terrified, angry, all of it was beginning to catch up to her as Link winded up for an uppercut with the fiery mallet before a smash of exoskull filled the air.

Volvagia shot upwards from the force of the blow and her natural weakness to the hammer, hissing in a raspy scream all the way.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAASH!**

The ceiling shattered as the dragon hit it, busting a hole in it before limply falling down back to the floor.

Link looked up at the spinning serpent as it weakly wobbled down towards him before his eyes shifted to the giant hole in the ceiling. Readying the Megaton Hammer once more, Navi's voice screamed from his cap. "Mash her with your mallet, Link!"

Link was more than happy to oblige. The hammer trailing red in the air, he uppercutted with it once more, the weight of the hammer almost taking his arms off.

 **CLANNNNNNNNNNNNNG!**

With the last hit, Link blasted Volvagia straight out of the temple through the hole his last battering had made. She spat, screamed and howled like a banshee as she steadily got smaller and smaller. All the Gorons climbed out of the lava and watched with Link as their mortal enemy got smaller and smaller until she was the size of a pumpkin.

Then a lamp.

Then a drawing pin.

Then a bread seed.

Then… nothing at all.

She didn't stop travelling there, obviously. No one could see it, but she went all the way into space, still spinning. Her screams cut off as she entered space and spun straight at the sun. She was the cunning fire serpent that could literally live in lava, but the sun was just too hot. The temperature, the radiation, all that was just too much for her to take. The second she touched its fifteen-million degree fire…

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

...she perished in the biggest flash of light Link had ever seen. It was so big that he could see it blinking in the rising sun. It was so big that it took over his entire vision.

It was so big that it sent him straight out of his dimension once again, like when he stabbed the portal to the Gap Between Dimensions.

* * *

Kakariko Village, 5:21AM. Few people were awake, but one soul hardly got a comfortable night of sleep.

He had ginger hair, a ginger beard and wore a white shirt with a pair of shorts and sandals. Why couldn't he sleep? Not only because someone had nicked his ladder when he nipped up to the roof to clean under the tiles and he had to sleep up there but because Death Mountain released a belching eruption, trailing fire and smoke into the air. The volcanic rock completely covered the fiery ring around the top, spewing hot, cauliflower ash around it.

"What in the name of..." the man muttered. He got up and held his hand up sideways above his eyes like a sun visor to see what happened, but when all the mess cleared…

the fiery ring was gone. It had turned back into its peaceful, relaxing cloud halo. Volvagia, the bane of all Gorons, was overthrown.

Really, REALLY overthrown. Thrown so hard that she went all the way to the sun.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day**_

* * *

 _"_ _The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers._ _"_


	37. Wrong Tooth

" **Good job, Eingeschworener Bruder!** "

Link's eyes stopped swimming once more. As quickly as it had consumed him, Volvagia's flash of destruction faded. An elderly voice talked gently in front of him.

How had he not figured this sooner? The Sage of Fire! All along, it was Darunia! And now… he couldn't leave until who knows how long.

Link has made some rather unfortunate friends, hasn't he?

"Darunia… Thank you." Link gargled as he stirred. His mouth was slightly numb as if he had just had a throat lozenge. The sound of running waters filled his ears once more and he could smell a nice scent of chlorine as if he was in an indoor swimming pool. Finally, his eyes focused on the old man of rock that stood on the red podium before him.

" **Thank me?** " repeated Darunia as Link fully awakened, realising that he was in fact, back in the Chamber of Sages. " **Thank YOU, brother! You have saved us all from extinction again! That is twice in a row!** " Darunia grinned, which would have TERRIFIED Link as a child.

Link felt in his hat for Navi but, strangely, she wasn't warped to the Chamber of Sages with him unlike last time. Without anyone to help him talk, he spoke to Darunia himself. "What happened to Volvagia?"

" **Ah, you did to her what my ancestor did years and years ago! The sun is too hot for her to live in, so… BUMMS!** "

"I did what?" Link looked down at his hands and flexed his muscles. "I don't know my own strength!"

Darunia shook his head. " **You didn't quite go that far. Volvagia is naturally weak against that hammer. It was mostly the power of your weapon, plus that.** "

"Understandable. Makes sense, I suppose."

" **Still, your power was enough to awaken me as a sage. And for that, I can take solace in knowing that most of the Gorons are safe. Oh, I can see that they're recolonising Goron City as we speak!** "

Link's heart nearly melted with relief, but he was curious as to how Darunia knew this information. "How do you know that?" he asked.

" **Simple! Just take a look! A big, long look!** "

Darunia clapped his hands together and held them there for some time. When he had finished, he spread his arms out, torching the water with fire. Link flinched as it surrounded his triangular podium, but it quickly went out, revealing that Darunia had conjured a view into the water as if it were a screen of some kind. By looking through it, Link could see Goron City. More specifically, he could see the wobbly images of Gorons running back in through the secret entrance, all of them overjoyed to be back home. The kids all got to eating right away, others ran back into their caves and the rest all curled up and rolled back along the roads. Unfortunately, Nekketsu and Ganondorf had destroyed several of the traffic signals, so several of them drove straight across a crossroads and smashed into each other. Seeing this, Darunia swiftly reversed the spell.

" **Oh, um… ignoring that detail there… as soon as Grindelwald fixes those things, the better… Well, everything's all swell! THANKS TO YOU, BROTHER!** "

One more time, Darunia put his hands together before throwing them skyward and making another bright flash in the sky. As you all probably guessed, Link was almost knocked senseless by another medallion. This one was red and it had a symbol of a three tongued flame carved onto it.

" **That is the Fire Medallion. It will power up Din's Fire if you have it on your person** **and it takes up less of your stamina** **.** " Darunia explained. He flashed Link a toothy grin, showing him the gap he had once hidden the Goron Ruby in.

"Wait, hold it right there, stop everything!" said Link loudly, "Remember back when we last met and you showed me that gap between your teeth?"

Darunia started to sweat. He had seven years to enjoy without having to explain his top secret and now that time was up. To be perfectly blunt, he wished he hadn't taken that time for granted. " **Y-y-yes? What about it?** "

"You told me that you would explain what happened to the tooth that used to fill that spot."

" **Oh! I did, did I?** "

Link looked at him, unamused. "Don't play dumb, you remember exactly when you told me and… if it's not too personal, I am interested!"

Darunia's colour left him as bland as stone but he eventually did a deep sigh and lowered his head. " **All right. I suppose it isn't too bad. Let us… begin.** "

* * *

" _ **You see, it all began years ago when I was just a little boy. I don't remember why… but I had a toothache. Maybe I just ate too much Blackpool rock. What? Blackpool rock! It's… a kind of sweet from a place called Blackpool! Why are you looking at me like that? It's called rock and Gorons eat it!**_

 _ **Anyway, my father took me to the dentist in Castle Town to get it fixed. Maybe a filling of some kind is what he was going for, but… the dentist said that the tooth was almost beyond repair and, to be cheap, my dad decided I should have it pulled!**_

 _ **The dentist yanked and yanked and yanked with the snapping jaws of his metal forceps. But the wily tooth wouldn't admit defeat! The dentist even planted his foot against my chair as a lever so he could wrench the wretched little thing out of my mouth but, as you know, our teeth are HARD!**_

 _ **After minutes of pulling, the dentist called in his assistant to help him with my tooth so she held me back while he pulled. Still, my tooth was still firmly stuck in there.**_

 _ **Soon, the wrecking ball of a receptionist was called in to help. Despite her outweighing the dentist and his assistant combined, her force was not enough.**_

 _ **The dentist tried everything. He went and fetched a load of patients to help, he planted some TNTooth in there, he even tied a piece of rope around himself and my tooth and jumped out the window but nothing worked! The one that ended up working, however, was the army of patients.**_

 _ **The pain of having five fat ladies and ten large men tugging on my tooth was about ten thousand times worse than the toothache!**_

 _ **Finally, after sitting in the chair in complete and utter agony, I heard a loud noise. Like, really noisy. Like…**_

 _ **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**_

 _ **The dentist had gripped so hard, he shattered my tooth into squillions of tiny fragments in my mouth!**_

 _ **But my tooth was still hurting.**_

 _ **HE HAD TAKEN OUT THE WRONG TOOTH!**_ "

* * *

"So your dentist totalled your chopper then?"

Darunia lowered his head, fingering the empty space in his gum once more. " **Yes, he did. That woke me up and made me take more care of my** **teeth. I still have the tooth that he tried to** take out thi-"

While the Great Goron spoke, he started wobbling like a jelly. His voice started muffling and deteriorating.

Link was leaving the realm once more. "Darunia!" he cried out, trying to make his censoring voice heard. "Darunia! I can't stay here for long! I'm..." He fought to stay awake but everything around him instantly disintegrated and a white void lay behind it all.

It may have been his imagination or a quote carried upon the fiery wind, but he heard Darunia's voice call to him one more time.

" **Don't forget. You and I will be** **sworn brothers forever**!

* * *

 **FFFFFSHING!**

Link landed back in Goron City in another flash. Out of sight of everyone else, Link had ended up inside one of the caves of the village and he was back in his old, green tunic.

"Link? How was it? Who was the sage? Was Darunia all right?" Questions from Navi flew at him in the same way she did. Bright light in a dark room or not, Link was very happy to see her.

"Navi, listen. It was the same situation as last time. Darunia is just fine but… he is the Sage of Fire. He won't be coming back to us. Not until…" He shot Navi a little, knowing smile, trying to make the best of a bad situation. She nodded to him and took a breath in to say it with him:

"...Ganondorf is defeated for good."

Link and Navi both smiled and laughed with nerve in the darkness. "It's frightfully dark in here, Navi. Could you try and find a light or something?" Link requested. He raised his open palm into the air and, to aid his vision, he used Din's Fire to make a fireball in his hand. Light flashed into the room as the spell worked, but Link did not unleash his attack. He just kept holding his hand up and guiding it around the room to look for the way out.

" **Hey, Link! Our hero! Hero of the people and the Gorons!** " called a deep voice through the dark room. It came completely out of nowhere and startled Link, making him clench his hand directly on the fireball.

 **FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

If you couldn't already tell by that massive sound effect, the fireball blew up from the sudden pressure, sending a massive wave of fire across the cave. Since Link cast the spell it didn't effect him, but it torched the candle chandelier above him, providing a light source. Link could now see perfectly clearly.

He could see… Gorons. Blackened Gorons. They all stood still, smoke rising off them, staring in surprise as their mouths hung open.

"Guys!" exclaimed Link, "What are you all doing here? You scared the life out of me!"

"I suppose that was our fault for scaring you while you were using Din's Fire." moaned a blackened Grindelwald. "We came here to congratulate you on your success! We wanted to thank you for your service to the Goron community! We..." As he spoke, he coughed out a bit of smoke and ash from the blaze. "We would like to reimburse you for everything you've done for us! We didn't get the chance last time, but now that you're here, we simply can't miss this opportunity!"

Navi flew out from Link's sleeve, having hidden there to escape his fiery fright. "Opportunity to do what?"

Wengen, brushing soot off his body, stepped forward to answer her. "How would you like a feast?"

* * *

Link hadn't eaten for AGES. He hadn't eaten since he'd picked up the Master Sword. That was now almost a full day ago. In that time, he had gone through two temples which involved a lot of movement and didn't really help in terms of his awful hunger. Do you think he accepted Wengen's offer?

Well, judging by the empty plates and bowls everywhere, I'd say he did.

"Thank you, everyone!" mumbled Link, full as an egg with salad, meat and bread. He had… cooked it himself. Guess how. "That was the best meal I've had in years!"

"Probably because it's the ONLY meal you've had in years." Navi added teasingly, also stuffed with food. Link smiled playfully at her.

"So, will you be going to the showjumping at the ranch later?" asked a Goron sat across the table, causing Link to raise an eyebrow.

"Showjumping?"

"Yes! It's where someone mounts a horse and uses them to jump over fences on a track. Look, it's in the newspaper here!" The Goron tucked his head under the metal table and there was a loud scrape as he pulled out a drawer on the rim of it. With a rustling of papers, he pulled out the latest edition of the **TAGESSPIEGEL** **.** With a grin, he showed it to Link. Saying nothing, he took the paper and completely skipped over the writing.

It was all in German again.

Instead of trying to decipher it or ask a question, he looked at the image on the cover just underneath the headline. It showed a picture of Lon Lon Ranch's corral, which was full of horses and spectators. A few Zora, Gorons and even some Gerudo women smiled for the birdy. Link was pleasantly surprised. Maybe not all Gerudo were bad people. In the background, he could see a lady guiding a horse towards the paddock.

She wore a white, baggy shirt and a high, strap-on dress that went halfway up her stomach. She didn't look happy at all. She was all ruffled up and, even with the grainy picture and the fact that she was rather far away, Link could see scratches tracing her tender face. Behind her, his face obscured by the blade of a naginata, was a skinny man who was dressed like had all the money in the world. He was closely following the lady, holding something long and thin above his head as if he was about to hit her with it.

Oh.

Navi had noticed the oddity of this as she fluttered into the pages and scrutinised the image. "Link, is that a bullwhip?" she asked uncertainly. She began to try and see what the man's face looked like by shining brighter as if that would somehow melt through the weapon covering his face.

Link took in a nervous breath and looked at the hands of one of the Gerudo women. The whole image was in black and white, but he could see that the woman who caught his eye was holding something besides her naginata. She had specifically held it against her clothes to try and camouflage it using the lack of colour in the photo.

All of what the Gerudo had done aroused Link's suspicions and he began to move his head closer to what turned out to be an orb and looked very closely.

"Link? What are you looking at?" chirped Navi. She rested on the paper and looked at the orb with Link. Suddenly, she caught sight of the lady once more and recognised her instantly. "Wait! That's Malon!"

"And who's that behind her?" Link pointed to the man following her. Something about his proportions looked very similar to Link but he couldn't remember where he had seen this man for the life of him.

"He's… He's whipping her! Look!"

" **So, brother,** " restarted the Goron who had passed the paper, " **will you be going or not?** "

The absence of Link and the sound of a plate spinning to a stop like a coin answered his question. Yes, he was going to Lon Lon Ranch, but not to see the showjumping.

* * *

Link skidded down to Kakariko Village so fast that he dislodged several small rocks along the way, sending them rolling down with him where they stopped with a **PING** against the iron gate. Drawing his sword, Link slashed his way through and continued uninterrupted but a brief sight of blue overalls and a red shirt made him screech to a halt, tearing up some of the ground. A fat face sparked memories of the kind man called Talon who had shown those Stalchildren what for. He was once a responsible, hard-working man but now he looked like he had lost the one thing worth living for.

Link could hear him weeping despite the man being several yards away from him. Slowly, the man's name rose up and out of Link's mouth. "It's Talon."

"Maybe he knows what's going on. I think we should go and ask him what's happening at Lon Lon Ranch." Navi suggested, "Something is SERIOUSLY wrong. First, Malon is getting whipped and now Talon seems really upset." She turned a sympathetic mango colour.

"You're right. We need some more information before we go. Excuse me! One moment please, Talon!"

Talon either ignored Link or just couldn't hear him as he sauntered into the Thirsty Ferret, accidentally slamming the door shut at full force because of the wind.

"I recognise that pub." Link looked up at the new sign and then down at the building. "Maybe now that I'm older, I'll fit in more. Maybe they won't all stop what they're doing as if I broke time or something!"

Waiting until Talon had enough time to sit down, Link opened the door and… immediately cringed from the pong of beer. It hadn't even been ten seconds and Talon had slumped onto the counter of the bar with the biggest cup of beer Link had ever seen. It was about the height of a lamp and the width of a bucket. Over the racket of the tavern, Link crept closer to the moping man before pausing right behind him.

…

…

"Go on!" urged Navi, "Ask him what happened."

Link nodded at her and cleared his throat but as he was about to speak, Talon let out a moan of despair. "No use trying to feel better..." he gurgled between sobs. "Without my Malon, nothing is beautiful!"

As soon as his daughter's name escaped Talon's lips, Link's heart smashed through the floor. Malon! What had happened to Malon? From how Talon had worded his murmurs, he thought the girl had passed away but he had seen her in the newspaper just moments ago.

"Ingo… How dare he… He has her do all the work and anything… anything unpleasant. He's on a power trip! A power trip, I say!"

Ingo. Ingo, Ingo, Ingo. The man who had lagged behind Talon when Link had stayed over at the ranch. When Link had first met him, he seemed like a rather agreeable chap. He had walked off into the rain to help find a guard for Link and Malon, he had quickly escorted him and Malon away from the disturbing scene that unfolded and he seemed pretty funny at first.

Now that he had Ingo's image in his head, Link remembered the man with the whip in the photo, particularly his figure. His elbows and knees were rather exaggerated and he wore the same brown shoes as Ingo had. How they were still fitting him, I don't know, to be honest.

" _Say no more, Talon."_ thought Link to himself. _"_ _I'll help you. I'll help Malon."_

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill._ _"_


	38. Cat And Mouse

Malon laughed nervously as she listened to the grating Gerudo ladies shouting impatiently from the sloping seats that had been organised for the spectators of the showjumping. She wanted to get out there as soon as possible for her own safety, but she was busy tackling the two dozenth chore she had been ordered by Ingo to do that day.

Her eye twitched from tiredness. Ever since the 'Great Ganondorf' took over the ranch and bestowed it upon Ingo, he was apparently so grateful that he considered Ganondorf the best leader Hyrule ever had the privilege of grovelling to. Additionally, Ingo had raised Malon's list of work to the point where there were no more chores left to do himself. The more Ingo achieved, the more Malon felt like a failure. Aside from every chore on the farmhouse, Ingo had also put together a schedule of what he called 'extra activities' that started increasingly earlier with every day. Now, Malon's paper schedule was exhausting to even look at. If you can stomach it, here is the official paperwork:

* * *

 **SCHEDULE FOR MALON ALLINGHAM**

 **(** **From 9AM to 4PM** **every day** **, all animals on the ranch must be spot cleaned, full cleaned, fed, watered and health checked, INCLUDING THE WASPS NEST IN THE EAVES. Failure to complete every single event and chore will result in TERMINATION!)**

 _ **Monday:**_

6AM: Swimming lessons (in ranch gear)

7AM: Horn band

8AM: Abseiling down the storage tower

9AM-4PM: _**Animals**_

4PM: Curtain design

5PM: Piano services

6PM: Deliveries

7PM: Jog to Gerudo Valley and back

8PM: Javelin throwing, extra half hour of sleep if you hit a moving target

 _ **Tuesday:**_

5AM: Double bass lesson

6AM: Tightrope walking practice

7AM: Chess practice

8AM: Learning Japanese

9AM-4PM: _**Animals**_

4PM: Tourist leaflet design workshop

5PM: Porcelain parrot painting

6PM: Singing lessons

7PM: Flipbook animation class

8PM: Dance class, country

 _ **Wednesday:**_

4AM: Choir group

5AM: Equestrian self-racing

6AM: Equestrian self-racing

7AM: Equestrian self-racing again

8AM: Hurdy-gurdy lessons

9AM-4PM: _**Animals**_

4PM: Food tech

5PM: Learning Scottish Gaelic

6PM: Round of golf

7PM: Coffee art

8PM: Show jumping practice

 _ **Thursday:**_

3AM: Learning Chinese

4AM: Dance, Irish

5AM: Country guitar lesson

6AM: three dozen laps around the ranch on a penny farthing

7AM: RE

8AM: Gymnastics in all of ranch gear

9AM-4PM: _**Animals**_

4PM: Calligraphy class

5PM: High note opera singing lessons

6PM: Space speculation club

7PM: Upside down cake class. Baking the cake normally and turning it over does _**NOT**_ count

8PM: Equestrian self racing. Backwards

 _ **Friday:**_

2AM: Learning Arabic

3AM: Triangle music lesson, grade 8

4AM: Tennis match

5AM: Excursion to Snorule for alpine skiing lesson. Make cheese on outbound journey

6AM: Do quick run down the slopes and get back on inbound journey. Recite maths on way back.

7AM: Karate classes ( **DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR SKIS OFF FIRST!** )

8AM-4PM: _**I SAID "ANIMALS"!**_

4PM: Learning Hebrew

5PM: Penny farthing production

6PM: Chandelier making

7PM: Canine training class. Not dogs, wolves

8PM: Equestrian self-racing once again

Signed: Ingo Belmont

* * *

And that was just the weekdays. If I were to list everything she did on the weekends, this book would beat "The Subspace Emissary's Worlds Conquest" two times over for the world's longest piece of English literature. The point was that Malon had become VERY busy over the last few years. She did like a few of her teachers for some of the activities and those few hours became what you could call sanctuaries of sorts.

The "Great Ganondorf" had organised a showjumping event for everyone at the ranch, so Ingo had Malon drop all activities on her to-do list save for looking after the animals. She had milked the cows, fed the pigs, collected the eggs from the cuccos and… everything else on the entire farm.

"That's it! You know what? I'm done with this thing!"

Her laughter stopping, she took a harsh stomp, accidentally stepping in her bucket of milk. Yelping in surprise, she grabbed onto the thick hide of a cow as she toppled over. Of course, the cow wasn't very happy about that and kicked a pile of hay behind it, mooing loudly. The hay flew across the room and landed straight in a pig's face, prompting the perplexed pig to sneeze. Its powerful nostril call jerked its head, which collided with a stool. It toppled to the floor, spilling a box full of eggs.

In summary, one misstep had made the barn look like Gohma, King Dodongo, Barinade, Kamakuma, Phantom Ganon and Volvagia had all stormed it at once.

"Allingham! What do you call all this commotion?" shouted a jabbing voice. Malon's face grew red and rose in temperature, hearing that voice calling her by her last name. She hated when that happened as it was always when she was in trouble. Ingo, dressed like he was some kind of monarch, booted the doors open and almost threw them off the hinges. He strutted in before stopping, his eyes bulging in their sockets at the sight of everything. "What do you call this?"

Malon never challenged Ingo. Not ever. She wanted to keep living on the ranch, the farm she had lived on her entire life, but every kettle hits its boiling point. Malon stood up straight and pouted. "I call it 'I resign'! I am fed up with being mistreated!"

Ingo's colour changed to purple as if he were being strangled. However, he completely ignored what she had said. "We are having a showjumping event to show everyone how well we take care of our horses." he said through gritted teeth. "YOU are going to ride Epona over the fences to see if we can flog her."

" _You already flog the horses when I disobey you."_ Malon thought bitterly. She stood back up to Ingo. "I saw the Gerudo out there. I won't let you sell Epona to them! Think of what they'll do to her!"

Ingo's eyes narrowed and, as if he hadn't slept for weeks, they started to glow a sinister red. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something. Malon instantly recognised it as what he had been threatening her with for the past few years, she would disobey him and he would pull the same thing out of his pocket, uttering the words she would give anything not to hear:

"Do you want me to bring the big one out?" Ingo sneered as he held a glass orb up towards Malon. Smoke puffed around on the inside of it. Ingo passed this orb around to visitors several times, possibly hoping that someone would drop it by mistake and release the monstrosity inside of it that lay dormant like a volcano. The last person he handed it to was a Gerudo woman at this very event.

Malon looked deep into the orb Ingo held and into the smoke. She wanted to see just what Ingo wanted to let loose on the ranch, but the smoke covered whatever it was. "No. No I don't want you to bring the big one out."

"Good, you nasty piece of work." Ingo's moustache curled upwards with a smile. "Now, out of here and get onto that horse. You'd better get cracking or I'm gonna have to give you a whacking!"

The prospect of being whipped one more made Malon's bones jitter, so she complied with no words. As Ingo brandished his whip, she creaked out of the door and into the screaming crowd.

* * *

" **HURRY UP!** "

As Malon leaped over a fence atop Epona, her face almost met with a tomato from an impatient Gerudo who clearly thought she wasn't going fast enough. The rancher stole a quick glance at Ingo, who was looking at her expectantly and holding up that glass orb again. Her heart rate increasing, she gave Epona a light tap to speed her up. What was in that orb and why did Ingo keep threatening her with it?

" **FASTER!** "

A cup full of some kind of drink flew over the fence of the corral, spilling all over Malon. With the drink weighing her hair down, she took a hand off the reigns and wiped her face clear, but she immediately felt Epona's hooves being taken from below her.

 **CRAAAASH!**

In the small window of time Malon had been distracted with her hair, Epona had tripped over a low fence. Malon yelped in fright and gripped on the reigns to support herself but she quickly went down with her horse. The crowd erupted in boos and hisses from the Gerudo's benches as food, drinks and even shoes flew into the corral. Some hit Epona, who jerked and kicked in pain and others hit Malon, who was pinned under Epona's weight.

"THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE! YOU HORRIBLE LITLLE MARE!" roared Ingo. He pounded over to Malon, braving the storm of flying food. The girl was broken to the point of tears. She whined hopelessly and furiously clawed at the floor to escape from under Epona's side as Ingo reached her. His eye twitched with anger as he reached into his pocket and pulled out…

the glass orb.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO RELEASE THIS?" he bellowed, pulling his face right down to Malon, who was still crushed by Epona. " **DO YOU?** "

"No!" Malon shook her head, sending tears splashing left and right. "No! That wasn't my..."

"You're on borrowed time. Not just on my ranch either. Now get yourself back up and get back on that horse!"

"I can't!" Malon choked, "I'm stuck under her!"

"For goodness' sake, swine!" Ingo squeezed the ball in his hand and bent over. "It can't be that hard! Just give the pest a few smacks with a whip and-"

"No! That's nothing but abuse!"

This, of course, did not go down well in front of not only Ingo, but in front of all the Gerudo. Their roaring boos and jeers got louder and more ferocious as did their blizzard of food.

It was at this moment a goblet was thrown from the back of the set of seats. It spun at speed through the air, slicing the wind as it went. It was probably aimed at Malon or Epona but instead it skimmed past them and collided with Ingo instead. He shouted in anger and pain and his hand shot up to cover the landing site. In his fury, however, he had forgot to use the hand that was down by his side. The hand that went up instead dropped the orb it was holding and it sank to the floor.

Time slowed down in an instant. For Ingo, for Malon, all the Gerudo, the Hylians, the Zoras, the Gorons, even for Epona. Malon reached her hand out underneath the ball as it hummed down towards the floor at enough speed to where it would shatter on the hard dirt patch it was homing in on. Simultaneously, Ingo threw his hand downwards to try and stop the destruction he was about to cause the ranch. Epona, sensing the danger, found it in her to leap up to her hooves and run away at such speed, she smashed through the fence. The horse tore straight through the Gerudo's benches and ripped the whole thing in half. The women screamed as their seats slanted and dumped all of them in a pile on the floor.

Finally, Malon closed her hand around what she hoped to be the ball, but she seized a fistful of air, having completely missed it. The orb bounced off her sweating knuckles and relieved a small shard of glass from itself, cutting some of her fingers. The rest of it completely shattered onto the floor.

 **CRAAAAASH!**

Smoke covered the corral with no delay, shrouding Ingo and Malon. They both gasped and wheezed for air, both fully aware that this was not the worst of what was to come.

Tantalising seconds passed and Malon opened her stinging eyes. When they adjusted, she could make out a strangely shaped figure hiding in the smoke. A parallel pair of golden dots on the silhouette lit up as it turned its head to her and stood with its back turned.

"What are you?" wheezed the girl as apprehensively as she could. She pulled herself up and began to step backwards to try and find the exit to the smokescreen but whatever enemy this was dispelled it all by rearing his head and roaring like a demon. Everyone, even some travellers passing the ranch, covered their ears from the noise as the monster Ingo had released revealed itself.

The first thing that caught Malon's eye was that it was made up of three different animals. It had the body of a horse, the torso of a human and the face of a gorilla, all three of which being a dazzling gold. Not only that, it had an orange, lion-like mane surrounding its face and ram-like horns jutting out of its forehead. Its human torso had a ten-pack of abs on its stomach as well as pectoral muscles that a pro bodybuilder would kill for. Both its horse body and its human torso proudly wore tattoos of jagged, violent patterns as if it were a wrestler. The muscles on its arms looked strong enough to rip a jeep clean in half.

Aside from its physical features, it also had two weapons strapped to its back. One was a metal bow that came with a quiver, packed full to bursting with arrows. The other was a bronze, mace-like club that was wider than Malon's entire body.

"Now look what you made me do!" bellowed Ingo at all the Gerudo ladies, who were already pulling themselves from the wreckage of their seats to run for the hills. A few stayed to fight the monster, however, as they pointed their weapons and charged through the hole that Epona had made.

The monster snarled and drew his bow and loaded it with not one but three arrows at once. The arrows were not sharp, but they had a rounded end, wrapped in a red cloth. He then inhaled and took a hot, fiery breath on the ends, causing them to start smouldering. Finally, he pointed the bow straight at the trashed Gerudo benches before firing the three of them with a **TWANG**!

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

On contact, the gunpowder in the arrows detonated and sent wood, nails and nuts blasting out of a giant cloud of fire. Thankfully, no one was still there but Malon and Epona were very nearly hit by the resulting shrapnel. Additionally, the wave of wind rushed by and the force almost blew Malon over.

Setting his sights on the hapless horses, the monster put his bow back before sliding his crushing club into his hands. Like a real horse, he reared onto his back legs and bellowed. Neighing in terror, every single horse ran away from the nightmare centaur as he chased after them, consecutively smashing his club into the ground like he was trying to swat a wasp.

"Ingo!" Malon snarled as she approached her tyrannical master. She grabbed the cowering man by his collar and pulled him up straight into her face. "You are REALLY going to catch it from the remaining soldiers! I am going to send a police flare right now!"

Ingo's eyes glowed red once more. A loud fuzzing blared from one of his ears. "It's no use!" he chuckled, "There aren't any more soldiers for you to wimp out to!"

Malon loosened one of her hands from his collar, slapping him so hard that she numbed her own hand. Ingo's face wobbled like jelly as his head jerked to the side, throwing something out of his ear and onto the floor. At first it looked like a bug or a bit of wax but it caught Malon's attention when it emitted red sparks and crackled with red electricity and black smoke.

It was a small, black rupee, just the right size to strategically be fitted in someone's ear.

Malon looked back at her master, who was dizzily looking up at her with tired, pleading eyes. "Please… I beg of you, destroy that thing!"

"Why should I?" Malon asked rhetorically. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Please! Malon, please destroy it! Malon?"

The girl heard a roar and several pounding hooves behind her. The monstrosity of a farm animal had chased a pack of horses all the way around the outside of the corral, destroying seats as it went, still trying to squash every last one of them under its weapon. Its bronze smasher left dents in the floor. They were so powerful that they actually caused small rumbles in the vegetation.

"Malon!" whimpered Ingo, powerless to stand up. "Malon!"

The girl looked at the stampede and then at Ingo. "Tell me. What is that rupee and why do you want it gone?" Ingo was silent. "Talk or you're dead! Tell me!" shouted Malon, her race turning red and beading with sweat.

"You'll die too!" answered Ingo. His lower lip began trembling.

"Well, we die then."

"I am prepared. Are you?"

"Ingo, this is your last chance! Tell me or you're roadkill!"

"It's your last chance, not mine!"

The centaur roared in frustration, smashing his crusher up and down. The horses all screamed and sped up, now getting close enough to where their galloping sounded like dozens of cannons going off at once. Malon's glare switched rapidly between the running death and her abusive employer but she finally deciding to let her kindness shine through. She grabbed Ingo once more and dragged him out of the path.

Every single horse on the ranch thundered past, closely followed by the monster. Horse after horse ran over the black rupee, which sparked and smoked more and more. What finished it off was the monster crunching his slammer down on it and then running over the ash-like remains.

Ingo loudly gasped and nearly fainted as Malon stared at him. Something about him was much different than the one that oppressed her for seven years. For one, his face was much less red. Now it was rather pale. For another, his face no longer looked like it would make a crying baby shut up just by Ingo walking into the room. For one more… he was genuinely smiling.

"Well?" Malon began. "Explain yourself."

"Malon…" breathed Ingo. He sat up shakily. "Thank you, Malon."

The rancher was lost for words at Ingo's immediate switch. Right when the rupee was ground into dust as well. Could he have been…

"Malon, look out!"

Ingo pointed behind his employee, got up and began dragging her away. One look behind her was all it took for all of Malon's bones to vanish and render her a quivering mess. The battering behemoth had lost interest in the horses now he was heading straight for Malon. He roared victoriously as he raised his crusher while Ingo grabbed Malon and hugged her close…

 **Twoing!**

The monster stopped his attack to look over at an arrow that was sent flying towards him. Being a skilled fighter and having fast reactions, he raised his club and batted the arrow to the floor.

"What's going on?" Ingo released Malon and examined the beast as it picked the arrow up and inspected it like he was looking at a melting marshmallow on a stick to see if it was safe to eat.

Malon took into account what direction the arrow was facing when it had landed and this led to her looking up at the stable. A man was climbing down the wall, a light by his side and a pair of weapons on his back. Looking at his shape and clothes reminded Malon of the kind soul who had stayed over at the ranch, protected her from certain assassination and had now saved her from…

"Wait! Holy smokes! You're..."

The boy in green, 'Fairy Boy' if you will, ran towards the new enemy. As he passed Malon, he gave her a supportive grin but the demon ahead of him was not in the best of moods. He turned his head to him, his whole body following.

"Mal, escape while you can!" Link ordered over his shoulder. "Take Ingo with you!" With that, he turned back to focus on his foe. Because of this, he couldn't see that Malon was frozen with her emotions, as was Ingo.

* * *

"Navi, who is this?"

Navi began to whisper in Link's ear. "Téras." she said. "Just react fast. Its arrows blow up as well, so don't get out of its range. Just focus on dodging and-"

Téras' club cleaved the air as it threw itself towards him and Link's instinct took over, diving him to the side with Navi just about dodging the weapon. "Yeah!" she said nervously, "Just like that!"

Link displayed his glowing sword to the centaur. The blade sizzled under its mane and hissed like a snake, but Téras was not scared of a little sword. Once more, he slammed his crusher into the floor, tossing Link up into the air with the shockwave before swinging and batting him across the ranch like a golf ball.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!** "

He crashed to the floor in a crumpled, bleeding heap. Navi didn't have the time to react and when she had processed what had happened, Link was dragging himself up from the floor on the other side of the ranch.

"Link!" she called to him. She flew to his aid but Téras charged him down, drawing his bow. "Where did he hurt you?"

"Everywhere!" Link cradled his wounded arm. It felt like it was on fire. Every other part of him felt like it had been hit by the bullet train. That was not the final stop for Téras as he bolted towards Link, ready to take his second shot. "What's that noise?"

Link could hear not only Téras' hooves on the floor, but another set coming up behind him. He turned around and saw Epona, running around the dirt track towards Link in a panic. With an idea, Link put his sword away and jumped as Epona passed him. His fingers burned as he seized the reigns and pulled himself onto her saddle. All the while, the monster stopped and skidded to a halt, staring down his prey with hate. He slid his smasher onto his back again, substituting it for his bow. Then he gave chase.

 **BOOOOOOOM!  
**

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

A long game of 'cat and mouse' ensued. All that happened was that Link rode Epona around and around the circle outside the corral. For the entire chase, Téras would not stop with his arrow assault. Explosion after explosion caused commotion in the pasture. This was all part of Link's plan. Just keep running and dodging until he got his energy back. He continued to look over his shoulder as Téras shot explosion after explosion at him. No matter how many bangers went off… his quiver never seemed to go down. It was like was magicking up more and more.

Around the fourth or fifth cycle, Link noticed a large old shanty near the back of the ranch. This was where all the Gorons, Zoras and Gerudo had been cornered. They all were cramming into the shed to try and escape Téras' fiery wrath. The front of the shed had been painted with a label.

 _ **GRAIN**_

This was the powerhouse that Link needed! His chance! His trump card! With his left arm, he pulled Epona's reigns and swerved her off the track, the monster skidding sideways to keep pursuit. When he got about halfway, he dismounted Epona and she ran to safety, ripping the door clean off its hinges.

* * *

Grain stung Link's eyes as Navi, before he completely disappeared, hid in his hat. He took more and more increasingly difficult steps into the multiplying amount of grain. He could hear Gorons, Zoras and Gerudo all loudly shouting and grunting but, if Link's plan was going to leave no casualties, they would all need to get out.

All the grain started to shake as Téras gained on his target, squeezing himself through the small entrance. His bulging biceps bent the doorway to fit in. A horrible noise of bending metal filled the air.

" **What was that?** " came the voice of a Goron.

A Zora answered him. "I don't know but I hope it's good!"

Téras, just like Link, had gotten lost in the maze of grain and drew his bow, hoping to blow the entire place to smithereens to eliminate his enemy.

"It's not good!" shouted Link to the Zora, hearing the sliding metal of Téras' bow. "Everybody run!"

Gorons rolled out of the shed, busting holes in the walls if they missed the door. Zoras and Gerudo either crawled through the holes made by the Gorons or they just ran out the door. Link brought up the rear as he heard Téras' explosive arrows sliding against his bowstring and the monster's hot breath lighting them up.

Everyone screamed as they ran for their lives. Link once again mounted Epona and looked behind him as she took him to safety. First the windows lit up, then Téras could be heard screaming and finally…

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

Grain and fire don't mix at all. A tremendous blast threw Epona to the floor as well as everyone else. A powerful shockwave shook the entire ranch, startling the cuccos and frazzling all the horses.

Luckily, there were no casualties except for Téras, whose mangled horn landed near Link, tens of meters away from what used to be the grain shed. Now the building was a deep crater in the floor the size of a swimming pool. Wisps of smoke from smouldering pieces of grass trailed into the air.

Smiling with victory, shaken up by the blast, Link stuck his head up, looking at Ingo with smug contentment. "Now, Mal, is there something you would like to say to a certain someone?"

Malon looked down at Ingo. She had a good idea of what had happened but she still wasn't very happy that Ingo had released a quadrupedal Minotaur onto her ranch. "Yes. You'd better talk fast!"

Ingo crawled like an insect towards the black shards of whatever he had in his ear, gibbering frantically. "Yes, yes, yes, I can explain everything! EVERYTHING! Malon, whatsisname, how about we discuss it over a pint of milk?"

"Sounds good. What do you think… Fairy Boy?"

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"A_ _friend with an understanding heart is worth no less than a brother_ _"_


	39. Last Bullseye

"There we go, Mal." said Link gently as he sat at the farmhouse table. Since Malon had cut the back of her fingers on a shard of glass from Téras' orb, Link had spent the last seven minutes bandaging her up, just as he did when they were children. What really flashed Link back was when Malon leaned over and gave him a hug.

"You saved my life. Thank you." she whispered to him.

"Help yourself to more milk, you two! There's plenty more where that came from!" Ingo swayed down to the wooded table and dropped two glasses of milk in front of them. With that, the man turned and ran back into the kitchen.

 **SPLAAAAAAAASH!**

Link and Malon recoiled in surprise, silent. A look of total resignation on his face, Ingo squelched back out of the door, dripping with water. Oddly, a trout was halfway down the back of his neck. "That is the toilets!" Ingo growled. Muttering indistinguishably, he shoved the door to the kitchen aside and splashed inside.

Link looked down at the black pile of shards in the middle of the table and took a sip of milk before sipping his milk. "Have you found anything in there, Navi?" he asked into the mound. The shards all started to part as Navi fought against them to escape. She came out, coloured a processing grey and lightly holding a piece of the rupee.

"This is interesting..." hummed the fairy. Link looked at her with interest. "This has remnants of dark energy all over it!"

"Pardon?" Malon raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Dark energy stays dormant inside its vessel. When that vessel is attached to a host… it controls them. Malon, where did you say this came from?"

Malon rose out of her chair. "Out of Ingo's ear. Why?"

"That explains it!" exclaimed the sprite. She shot into the air and clicked her fingers. "Ingo literally wasn't himself! He was being possessed!"

"I figured as much! His glowing eyes made me consider that years ago, but I never expected I'd be right!" Malon declared. She stood up and looked towards the kitchen. If Ingo had heard them, he held back his reaction well.

As always, Link remained calm. His system for this was to always focus on the present. "The curse has been dispelled now. All that matters now is that you and Ingo put the ranch back up to its former glory and everything else should all go just fine."

"Link… That's not quite how it works." Navi perched on his mug. "When the black rupee is destroyed… all the negative energy inside of it takes a random person nearby and it makes… a copy of them!"

"What?" Link and Malon said at the same time. They got off their chairs and leaned towards her, scraping the legs of them. Even Ingo was shocked as he quietly peaked his head around the side, dropping a frying pan containing a cooking egg to the floor with a **CRACK**.

* * *

"Ganondorf, your archer just struck his last bullseye."

The doors to Ganondorf's throne room clattered shut as a skinny, young figure dropped down from the ceiling using a smooth chain. He bowed down before his master, wearing a black sneaking suit with the Sheikah emblem of an eye shedding a tear printed onto the front, albeit flipped upside down. The figure had blonde hair and a neckerchief that covered most of his face and his crimson eyes stared straight ahead, narrowed like the tip of a pencil.

" **I figured as much.** "Ganondorf's hand trembled with frustration but the wine glass he held didn't break, much to his messenger's unexpectance. " **I saw the explosion all the way at the ranch! He could have at least taken it down with him! Right, hand me my catalogue again. I've got a monster to make.** "

The ninja bowed down to Ganondorf. "What is the title of your book, your omnipotence? I don't speak Gerudian."

Ganondorf lowered his head and rubbed it left and right against the palm of his hand. For one horrible second, his lackey thought he was about to get the death penalty. " **The book is called 'Archabeon'. Now chop chop or it's chop chop for you!** "

"Sorry, but how is that spelled?"

" **I SAID IT'S EITHER OFF WITH YOU OR YOUR HEAD! NOW STOP STALLING OR I'LL START THROWING MY WEIGHT AROUND!** "

The ninja tossed a Deku Nut out of his message pouch and smashed it to the floor, disappearing in the resulting cloud. Whoever this was, he was quick because he came back in another smoke explosion carrying a thick, elderly book.

" **Thank you!** " Ganondorf swiped the book out of the Ninja's hands so hard that the pages cut his fingers. The ninja suppressed his shock and flailed his hand, gripping his fingers as the pain set in like a sting from a wasp.

" **Let's see… This one looks wimpy… Who designed this monstrosity of a monster? This one can't hold a candle to a firefly! What about… this one!** "

"Which one, my liege?"

" **Morpha. According to the book, it may be a tiny ball of flesh, but it can manipulate the water around it!** **What a find of mine! Now, how do I make it?** "

The ninja sneaked around and climbed the spine of Ganondorf's throne, circumventing the spikes that covered it like a speedy snail. Looking interested, he started to read the book over Ganondorf's head. He only really caught the illustration next to the description. From what he could see, Morpha was a pink lump about the size of a football. Its picture showed it slurping dozens of pints of water up into one large tentacle and using it to throw someone across the room like a cabbage patch doll. The boy could hardly absorb a word the description said before Ganondorf slammed it shut like a door, coating both him and his crony in dust.

" **Sheik, send word to the Gerudo that I am going to Lake Hylia and transferring the water from there into the nearby temple. From there, I shall curse that source of water with 'Aqua Corruptionis' and that should summon Morpha.** "

"Yes. Right away, your majesty."

* * *

The birds cawed as thick boots chewed prints in the dew-encrusted grass of the misty farmlands. It had been a busy day of killing two birds with one stone for four hunters. For one, they were catching food and for another, they were eliminating the pests that kept eating their crops!

One man carried a musket in one arm and a basket full of plucked birds in the other. Another lugged along an axe. The third man held a bow with a quiver of arrows and the last was old and frail so he was in charge of the fetching dog and his walking stick.

The hunters had woken at midnight to go hunting and they were calling it a day around now. The last job they had to do was to check one more bear trap and see if it had taken any victims.

Silently, all waiting to get back home and eat breakfast, the men climbed over a formation of rocks to the small spot of dried mud, where they had left the trap.

One man coughed from the smoke of their luring fire and swatted the fumes away. When the trap showed itself, all of the men took a step back and gasped. Something they had not expected had gotten itself ensnared.

The blades gnawed on a black boot, attached to a tangle of black clothes.

A man with a small beard nodded his head towards the mess, signalling to his men for them to investigate and, dropping their weapons to free their hands, they flanked the clothes and began undoing the traps that bound the entity.

 **CRCRCRCRCRACK!**

The metal teeth sprung and clattered as they were levelled, letting ropes of fabric go with them. One of the men let the chain mail that clinked underneath the tunic. Another lifted half of it up, letting a black, monochrome shield see the light of day. Moving that aside with some difficulty, the man noticed that it was paired with a sword. It was entirely black, even the blade. A raven spread its wings under the metal edge, holding a black crystal in the middle of it.

"That sword…" the man muttered. He picked it up to examine his find. "Could this be? The Legendary Blade of Evil's Bane?"

"The what?" called the old man at the back of the group, wiping his ear with his finger. "Is my hearing playing up again or did you just say the Legendary Blade of Evil's Bane?"

"Yes! I found it! After all these years the wielder gets caught in a bear trap and ditches it to escape! It's ours! All ours! Just imagine what kind of money this sells for!"

"Is that wise?" joined the musket man, taking a step back. "That sword is important! It is imperative that we return her to her rightful owner straight away!"

"But who, other than the Gerudo, has any money these days? We've got to keep the candles lit!"

The wisest man with the axe suddenly backed away, his face dreading. "Get back!" he called at the first man, who was still looking at the weaponry on the floor.

It happened all so quickly. The smoke around the area filled the rags, taking the shape of a man. Next thing, a hand clamped around the hunter's boot and a quick sweep took his leg off. The man cried out and crumpled to the floor where his breathing stilled.

The body of the monster moved limply, yet stiffly, like a ghost as he dragged himself through the air and to his feet. He had black, flowing hair with a pointed cap, clothes and skin of the same colour. His eyes were fiery red. In fact, he looked long-familiar to the remaining hunters. To conceal the lower part of his face, the enigmatic enemy wrapped a scarf around himself, covering his mouth and half of his nose.

The old man's dog cowered and quivered behind his owner, who stood his ground. Instead of fleeing, he rose his walking stick and pointed it at the new enemy. "Demon!" he shouted as an order for two of his men. One loaded his musket and the other stretched and arrow back on his bow.

 **BANG!**

 **TWANG!**

These two attacks proved sleeveless thanks to the darkened Hylian Shield on the man's back. He turned around, away from the little ball and the long arrow, and allowed them to bounce off the metal harmlessly.

The two hunters hunted the man down the hill, shooting after him with their weapons. The one with the musket turned back to the old man. "Sahasrahla, send for help!"

The gentleman waved his hand affirmatively and reached into the nearby bushes, producing a bow out of it along with a gunpowder arrow, like the one Téras had a supply of. His hands shaking and quaking due to his Parkinson's, he lit the red cover of the arrow, quickly supplied his bow with it and shot it into the sky where it detonated in a scary shower of red flares.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The spawn of darkness went running past a cave, where the archer had sneaked through from the other end to cut him off. The shine of an arrow almost told a tale but it wasn't nearly noticeable. The sound of the wind made the monster try to turn and parry but his long scarf became one with the floor. The arrow skewered it into the dirt, immobilising him.

Ready to gut his prey through, the archer nocked another arrow, almost snapping the bowstring from how much he stretched it and shot the projectile. It sliced through the air like a tee shot, homing in as if it were a heat seeking missile. As it shone in the sun, the shadow drew his sword from his back again, slashing it clean in half. The red energy that surrounded his blade set the two halves of the arrow aflame where they landed harmlessly in the vegetation.

Now the hunter was becoming hunted. He reacted quickly to the sight of his target's arrow flashing like a camera and turned to run into the cave but this proved to only be a discretion view for every one of his partners, who heard the sound of grunting in pain, preceding a loud thump.

 **BANG!**

A musket fired from behind, making the shade whirl and slash the resulting ball in half. The hunter dropped his heavy musket in favour of an Indonesian karambit, giving his ranged weapon up for a melee knife. As he rushed down his opponent, another arrow's one tooth flickered as it went straight through him, dragging him lifelessly to the floor.

"You're good." The wraith shadow turned around to see the old man and his dog standing peacefully behind him. His shaking hands sent shivers down the dog's chain lead. Speaking of which, the Irish setter on the end of it was pulling vehemently, barking and snarling at the warrior. "Yes, you're very good. But..."

The old man paused to gather his words. His adversary didn't even attack him. He just looked at him and nodded impatiently.

"He's better."

 **BOOOOOOOM!**

Another shadow, this one from an actual human, clouded the monster in smoke from a Deku Nut. His world turned white as a force struck him with the sides of his hands like they were knives. The ninja's bandaged fingers struck like bullets, every one knocking the dark fighter backwards and forwards like a punching ball on a spring. The ninja finished all off by whipping the figure with a sharp chain, dispersing the smoke from his ambush and revealing his shape, which was a masked ninja in a black sneaking suit. Much to the relief of Sahasrahla (and his dog), whatever monster that was had hit the road.

"Sheik." said the head hunter, "Why is your symbol on upside down?"

"I… was holding the design papers upside down. I apologise for my accidental disrespect towards the Sheikah, Sahasrahla."

"No matter." slurred the man, covering his mouth so as to not spit all over the place and cause a flood.

"Is anyone hurt, sir?"

Sahasrahla waved over to the pinned bodies that were stuck to the floor, two having been stuck to the floor by arrows. "Three of my hunters are gone, but I and my dog were spared by Farore's benevolence. If you wouldn't mind explaining, just who was that?"

"When a rupoor is destroyed, its dark energy creates a copy out of negative feelings from a nearby person. That clone was created from the mould of a pupil of mine." Sheik closed his eyes and looked down soulfully. "I could sense all his feelings. His shell held back no anger, but a feeling of sorrow from betrayal. I know not why this is happening, but getting that information shall be my next mission."

Sheik turned on his heels away from the silent man and belted smoothly down the hill and into the farmlands. The Hero of Time had one last sage he needed to awaken before he could even consider moving on to the next two, so there was only one place he would go.

Zora's Domain.

* * *

Link sat with Malon just outside the paddock, the smell of burned grain still strangling the air. Link looked in awe as the grown horses stampeded around the outside of the corral, savouring their newfound freedom. Seeing it all was reminding him of the time he had stopped by at the ranch. Nostalgia was hitting him hard like if you were to find that one old game you would play religiously as a child. It was a strange feeling. Even though the transition from him turning into an adult was seamless and he didn't even notice at first… it felt like he had actually lived the seven years he lost.

Sneaking a quick glance at Malon, Link placed his Ocarina into his mouth and began to play that tune Malon had sung for Epona way back in his childhood. Thinking about it filled him with something that made him feel… warm inside. It made him smile when he thought of it, which may have had something to do with the fact that Epona had caused a rumpus when Malon had last sung it for her.

"What are you doing?"

Link removed his instrument to answer Malon. "Nothing. I'm just…"

"Thinking?" Navi suggested. She flew off the top of Malon's head. Feeling understanding, she turned a mellow beige colour. "You do have a lot to think about."

"Well, kind of. This kind of calms me. It cools me down, if that makes sense. At the moment, It's kind of hard to think straight."

"You do have a lot to think about." agreed Navi empathetically.

"Actually… I was trying to think of the animals. I saw a few young ones last time but it's been seven years since I was here."

"Speaking of that," Malon interrupted sternly, "where have you been for the last seven years? I wasn't looking for you or anything but… every Monday I would have to make deliveries and I didn't see you once! It was like you just slipped out of existence!"

Link cringed, Navi mirroring him. "You're spot on but it's a long story. I'll tell you later because… I can't really explain it myself at the moment."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

To divert the attention away, Link looked over at Epona, who had gently walked to the bars of the corral and was poking her nose through for a stroke. Navi kept herself out of sight just in case, but Link got up and stroked her nose, making her jaw hang loose with happiness. "Epona grew up to be a right old helping hand in the end, didn't you?"

"'In the end?'" Malon stood up with him. "Link, your time with Epona is far from over!"

Link looked at Malon, smiled and then turned back to Epona but when her words went back through his head, he almost gasped. He quickly withdrew his hand, making Epona pull her head back through the bars.

Had he just heard that right or were his ears still ringing from the grain shed exploding? "Mal… are you sure? My quests are dangerous and she might get hurt."

"Would you rather she be here? What if the Gerudo all come back at full force? She's safer with you. I know it. You have a knack for animals and I can see it from the way you handled her when you thought that monster."

"But I knocked her over by mistake. I-"

Silence paused in the air and Link began to fidget. Seeing this, Malon gave him a hug. "You were hit with a shockwave. Even the best horse rider in the world would be thrown off from that!" she told him. "Look, you're great. Not many people are able to mount a horse in full sprint like you did. Now take Epona and give her the times of her life."

"Yes, Mal. Thank you."

* * *

From atop Epona's sliding saddle, Link steered the mare out of the ranch's gates, with Malon guiding her for some help.

"Remember, lightly tap the horse with your heels to speed her up. If you need to do a jump to get over a fence or something like that, make sure you approach straight at it, not at an angle." said Malon. She finished packing the bags on the side of Epona with fresh food for Link's travels and clipped them back up.

"I'll remember that for you. I doubt I'd need to go showjumping, but the more you know!" Link replied. He stood on the stirrups and fiddled with the saddle underneath him as it slid around on Epona's back. It wasn't on tight enough and it was already starting to get irritating.

"One more thing." Malon's tone changed, sounding slightly worried and bargaining. Link quickly sat down and paid attention to her. "If you see my father… can you tell him that he's welcome back at the ranch? Ingo told me that himself as he was doing the dishes."

"He did? In that case… well, in any case really, I'll go out of my way to find him."

"Good luck with the rest of your journey! Take care of Epona!"

"Right! Let's go, Epona! Up, up and away! Actually, I don't think you can go up. Across will have to do, then. YAH!"

With that, Link nudged Epona into first gear and she cantered off down the path. Malon watched him riding away like a knight in shining armour until she could no longer see him. At which point, she turned and walked back into the ranch.

For the first time in seven years, though, she didn't need to shut the gates. Lon Lon Ranch was open to the general public.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _False face must hide what the false heart doth know._ _"_


	40. Code Fuzzy Wuzzy

Epona clattered through the hills of Zora's River, panting away as she went. Link leaped her over the suspiciously still streams of water that wove around the chilly grasslands. He took a breath, which shot out of his mouth like a cloud from a cigarette. Noticing the temperature dropping to below zero, he quivered on Epona's back, juddering the saddle around. "Brrrrrrr! Since when was this place so cold?"

"It's cold?" Navi replied, tucked safely in Link's cap, "Good thing I'm not out there, then! Fairy clothing isn't suited for cold weather!"

"Neither is this! My head feels like it's going to fall off!"

"I wouldn't want that." said Navi, "That would mean your hat would fall off and I would be freezing!"

"And it would probably nip a bit as well. Anyway, I hope that… **Oh** **NO**!" Link shouted as Epona crested the last hill and Link saw the waterfall ahead of him.

Its mere presence dropped the temperature to below negative ten. No wonder Link had been so chilly since he had arrived in Zora's Fountain! The waterfall had gotten… a little stuck, at least. Thick chains of ice encased the water that used to fall gracefully into the river below, resulting in icy stalactites stabbing downwards, stationary, into the frozen stream.

"He's beaten us to it again..." muttered Link. He swung his leg over Epona's back and dismounted her. "Why did he do this? He had everything he wanted?"

"Bad men don't stop at that point, Link. Ganondorf doesn't do stuff because he needs to, he does it because he can."

"But… surely it should benefit him somehow." Link undid his pouch and emptied a pile of tomatoes from the ranch for Epona. "Stay. We'll be back soon. I promise."

Link stepped away from Epona as she stuck her nose into the fruits and began to eat. With Epona's appetite out of the way, Link looked back at the icy barricade that prevented his aid. He wanted to take out the Megaton Hammer and smash the ice into a million pieces, but… he had a feeling that doing so would crush him under hundreds of little shards.

"Link, what about Din's Fire?" suggested Navi. "Didn't Darunia say that the Fire Medallion powers it up?"

"I don't want to flood the whole place! Everyone would drown!"

"Link, the Zora don't drown. They're half fish, remember?"

"Oh! Well, they won't mind this, then!"

And so, Link stepped back and readied his open palm, making sure to keep his fingers separate so as to use the flamethrower function of Din's Fire rather than the one powerful fireball and he began to release his energy in one constant tongue of fire that licked at the ice, turning it to water. The edges blackened as the sheet thinned down. As it got more and more transparent, Link could see that the ground in the cave ahead was coated in soft, glimmering snow.

"He's done more than turn the waterfall into a wall." said Link. He stilled his hand to let it cool down. Smoke hissed from his fingertips like an expired bonfire. "He's turned this whole place into a winter wasteland!"

"Link, do you know about the Zora's weaknesses?" Navi asked, flying through the bubbling hole, "They're weak to fire and ice! This is no doubt intentional on Ganondorf's part! We have to go in and save as many of them as we can!"

"I'm coming!" Link left Epona to graze, taking a running leap through the hole he had created in the waterfall. His feet crunched down into the deep snow of the domain and he quickly felt it converting to water and seeping into his boots. Still, he ran on into the cold air and vanished with Navi.

* * *

 **WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

 **DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

No, reader, I haven't lost my mind, neither am I at the dentist, this was the noise Link heard down on the icy surface that used to be a big open pool. Shiny mist obscured his vision, but he could see that a team of men had set up a camp down on the ice and were using a swirly drill powered by a crank to cut a hole in the frosty ground in an attempt to save the Zora trapped underneath. Red and blue tents had been set up around the area so this project was definitely not new.

Link focused on a bendy, white shape that was locked underneath the ice. It looked like a fish of some kind, and it was joined by dozens of others, all of which looked like they were swimming desperately to the surface.

"Oh..."

"Are they… dead?" Navi whispered to Link, chattering away due to the extreme cold.

"I hope not… What if one of them is the Sage of Water?"

Link and Navi both watched as the men finished drilling their hole before one of them reached his hands down into the subzero waters and bought them back up, dragging a frozen Zora out by the armpits. He was completely stiff and unmoving as if he was made of stone. A beefy man who seemed to be the boss of the operation gestured a little fire on the ice, prompting his employee to drag the Zora to it and lay him down to thaw him out.

Link continued further into the domain, walking for five minutes before slowly climbing the icy steps that led up to the throne room. As Link almost toppled over and went bouncing back down the stairs, he started to see something sticking up in the throne room. It was red and solid, bouncing the frosty air off its shimmering surface. It was a cold cage of ice that had formed around the hapless soul that was sitting in the throne room.

"King Zora?" Navi's voice broke as Link splayed all over the floor at the top of the steps. He had almost fallen at the very last one. Still, he looked up at the frozen body of the furfuraceous tycoon and sighed.

"We are… too late." Link sat on his knees and propped his hands against the floor. "How many more people must I fail before I get anywhere?"

"Link, please stop saying things about yourself like that." Navi gently replied. She landed on the solidified sovereign, almost slipping because she forgot that he had frozen over. "You might not be able to save everyone, but you can save a lucky group. In fact..."

Link raised his head and looked at her, allowing her comforting brown to fill his eyes.

"...I think you can save King Zora right now!"

"How? He's been frozen solid! I thought the Zora were weak against ice!"

"This is red ice. It's too cold to melt with fire there is a special kind of fire that is hot enough to melt it entirely! It should fit in that bottle you have with you and… I think that it is found in the Ice Caverns."

"Where's that?"

"Remember that alter Lord Jabu Jabu was at? The Ice Caverns are embedded in the wall to the left of him."

Link frowned and stood, sneezing from the cold. "How do you know about that? We were only in there for a few minutes at most!"

Navi suddenly stopped in midair, fading from brown to custard. "Link… I have my ways. What's important is that we thaw out our friend here and ask him what's going on?"

"If you say so… I trust you. Lead me to these 'Ice Caverns' then."

* * *

"Just walk slowly. The ice isn't going to hurt you." Navi said as Link wobbled out of the cave and into Zora's Fountain. His feet almost went flying about fifteen times because of the slippery grounds but he grasped the stairs that went to Jabu Jabu's altar, only for his eyes to sag in disbelief. Surely it was the cold playing tricks on his mind.

Surely he was just hiding from the cold.

Maybe he was off on holiday?

Maybe he was… frozen solid.

"Jabu Jabu..." Link whispered to himself. His fingers scratched the glistening bricks as they curled into fists.

The sight of Jabu Jabu used to be nice and calming, even after Link became his elevenses. The sight of him would now cause even the lightest hearts to fall. He looked like a professional sculptor had taken his chisel to a block of ice and snow. This horrible weather was obviously too much for him to take and he had been petrified by it. Even though he was hungry for his greens when Link was a child, he was more than willing to forgive him, especially if it would bring him back for the Zora. He could thaw the entire domain with his divine powers and solve all of this, but… Link was too late.

"Ganondorf… First the Great Deku Tree and now Lord Jabu Jabu! He's going after everyone's deities!" Navi squealed. Furiously red, she flew up to the top of Jabu Jabu, her aura so great that Link thought that she was going to start melting the ice. "Link, follow me! We need to find that fire now and use it to burn down Ganondorf!"

"But I thought we were going to thaw King Zora with it!"

"You know what I mean! Now get up here!"

"Yes! Right!"

Link jumped atop the lump of ice that was presumably Jabu Jabu's head and grabbed hold of the scaly top of his neck. He took big leaps up the plates that covered the tube, clawing at the ring piercings that had been frozen with the mammal. His hands were numbing from the cold and water from the snow and ice was getting into the finger holes of his gloves, not helping with that situation. Suddenly, his foot slipped and for a few hour-long seconds he thought he would plummet into the perilously cold water, but he found himself thanking the blacksmith who gave Jabu Jabu rings as he reached out and just about grabbed onto one of them, heaving himself onto the mighty whale's back.

"Don't stop there!" said Navi, "Look at the wall over there. If you jump across those icebergs, you could make it!"

Three chunks of ice floated like ducks in the dangerous lake, spinning like tops. It seems that, like this eternal winter that had been cast on Zora's Domain, these were completely unnatural as they led right into a snowy hole in the wall. The reason they were spinning was surely to lure people into falling into the water and freezing to death. And if it was…

…it had half worked. Link sat down and slid down Jabu Jabu's tail, crashing hard onto the first iceberg. It rocked alarmingly under his weight but he flailed around to keep his balance and it paid off. Now he was spinning around on the first iceberg. Link edged back into the middle of the platform so he wouldn't spin off the platform and, with Navi chasing after him, he leaped onto the second one. For a split second his finger dipped into the lagoon and instantly lost all of its feeling. Whatever was in this water would kill him if any more than that went in.

"Link! Your finger's gone blue!" Navi pointed out, "Are you all right?"

"Never mind that. I'm nearly there!"

Link steadily got to his feet and pounced on the second iceberg, landing on it in the opposite direction it was spinning so that it would be forced to stop. Because this particular pad was less slippery and wasn't spinning any more, Link easily made the jump into the giant mouth on the wall, instantly feeling its cold breath on his face.

It may have just been his imagination, but he swore that he could see a little blue light at the very back.

* * *

"Professor Clayton, the results of our experiments have become clear."

It was deep inside the Ice Caverns. An investigation lab had been built deep in the depths of the freezing wilderness. A research team had carved a giant cube into a sheer wall of ice, then filled it with all sorts of equipments, bells and whistles for which to carry out their work.

A big man who was sitting in a metal chair several sizes too small for his behind bashed his coffee mug on the table and rose to his feet, his chair stuck to his ample bottom as if it had been glued on. "What are the fruits of our labours, then? How did the guinea pigs react?"

"Some of the workers lost their legs and became mutants… kind of like a seal! They could breath poison."

Clayton lowered his glasses, curious. "And what about the others?"

"Their heads warped, their feet turned into hooves and their hands turned into these sharp blades!"

"Hunter, you'd better not be kidding around here!" snapped the boss, stomping forward towards the sweating employee. His spiked boots scratched the metal floor. "Are you telling me the truth? If you are, this is a breakthrough and a half!"

"This is no joke!" replied the employee, backing away from his boss. "Really! Honest! I wish I had them to show you but… I sent most of them to the Water Temple because they were wrecking our lavatory!"

"I take it you mean 'laboratory', Hunter."

"No, one of them started ripping down the door to the khazi! While Tomasz was in there and everything! There are a few still here, but they are at the entrance, stationed to catch any intruders."

"Good." Clayton replied, picking up his cup of coffee and taking a sip. "Then don't bring 'em in here. They might wreck the Blue Flame. We still need to find out what we can use it for and if we can't, we'll just flog it for a hefty price."

"I agree with you there!"

 **DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!**

The startlingly loud noise of a bell going off made the leader drop his coffee mug all over the floor. He cursed under his breath before running over to a speaking tube.

"An intruder has just tripped the tripwire! Code Fuzzy Wuzzy! Send out the scientists and all of the White Wolfos!" Clayton screamed down the tube. Red lights started lighting up and spinning overhead as Hunter shrugged behind him.

"Really? 'Code Fuzzy Wuzzy'? You can't have gone with a colour that doesn't make us all seem like a bunch of jokers like 'Code Red' or 'Code Orange' or something?"

* * *

Link pulled himself up, his face and hair covered in snow. He didn't understand what had even happened to him. One second he was just walking across the thin, hard snow, freezing his fingers off and chattering like a parrot and the next he had tripped over something and ended up face-first in the snow.

"What tripped me over? This cold is playing tricks on me, I say!" Link growled as he brushed snow from his locks. The silver air made him sneeze.

"Link, it was just a hard bit of snow. You were much more controlled when you fought monsters so you're fine, let's just keep going."

Link looked up at Navi, lowered his head and sighed. "Sorry, it's just… I can be a bit moody in the cold. The forest was nice and warm and the temperatures wouldn't go that far down, Here, I feel all numb and out of my element."

"Listen." said Navi, turning red with the feeling of danger. "Do you hear that noise?"

"What noise? My ear holes are frozen over."

"The bell!"

Link focused on the dark throat of the cave ahead of him. It took a while for his ears to adjust to the whooshing sounds of the fans and cold air but… Navi was right.

 **Ding, ding, ding, ding…**

"Someone else is here..." croaked Navi. She shivered from fear and cold, hiding behind Link's neck. "I think that bell is about you being here, Link."

"I'm getting that feeling as well. If we just stay on our guard then nothing can possibly catch us off it."

 **BANG!**

A metal cover blasted off of a nearby fan, making Link jump and almost tripping him over again. Visible air huffed from the spinning blades.

 **PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!**

A loud whistle started squealing like a distressed baby. It was so loud that it caused an icy spike from the ceiling to dislodge and almost skewer Link like a kebab but he dived out of the way just in time.

"What is going on here?" he shouted over the din. "Why is all this going off?"

"As I said, Link, we are not wanted here." replied Navi at an equal tone, "Someone is going to come after us in 3...2...1..."

" **OI!** There 'e is! Get 'im!"

 **BADABADABADABADABADABADABADA…**

Link hid behind a chunk of ice to shelter from the storm of little pellets that came flying his way. He peered at the distorted figure through it as little balls embedded in the middle of it, stopping inches before hitting him. A large man in an orange puffy coat, bulky black trousers, giant fur boots and a white snow hat was attacking from a distance, strafing around stalactites to try and get a good shot off with his Petronel. Link hesitated slightly since his opponent was a human, but he drew his Hookshot, stood from behind his cover and fired the chain at the exact moment the soldier fired his weapon. The hook hit the man's hands, releasing the weapon from his clutches as he clasped his bleeding limb and the gun rattled to the floor, the little lever on the side flipping up.

 **CLICK! CLATAK!**

Within milliseconds, the researcher found himself at the mercy of his own barrel. Instead of giving in, the man primed his fist. In response, Link gave the trigger a firm squeeze but…

...nothing came out of the barrel.

"How do you work this piece of work?" muttered Link angrily as he continued hammering in the trigger. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"You forgot to turn off the safety, you numpty!"

Link grinned and lowered the lever on the side. "Ah! Thank you for the information!"

The man's face turned white. "Oh, me and my big gob!"

"Don't worry, I don't plan on shooting you. For now. All I need you to do is tell me about the Blue Flame. What is it?"

"I don't know!" gibbered the worker, his lower lip trembling. Link slowly began to pull the trigger back. "Really! I don't! That's what we were researching back there! If we can't use it for anything, we're going to sell it on to the market for some easy dosh!"

"And where is this flame?" Navi joined, flying right up in his face. She began intensifying her glow as if she was a policeman using the old "Shine-A-Light-On-The-Suspect" trick during an interrogation. "Where can we find it?"

"It's… at the back of the main room! My boss lives there! Big bull of a man! He keeps all the White Wolfos in their cages, so… keep that in mind!"

Link kept getting closer and tapped the man on the forehead, causing him to slip and land on the ground. He was so sinewy that he cracked the ice when he fell. "And what other monsters will I find in here?"

"Mutants! Lots of mutants! He's been experimenting on some of us with a serum of some kind and it's been turning them into monsters!"

"That's disgusting!" shouted Navi, green in the face. "How could you do such a thing?"

"Don't look at me!" the scientist replied, slightly offended by Navi's accusation, "I'm not in charge of this! In fact, I'm a guinea pig for this! I was lucky to not have been chosen! Just… please go and find your flame! I can't tell you any more!"

Link looked at Navi for instructions, getting a discreet nod in return. This guy hadn't technically done anything wrong and was clearly just doing as his bad boss told him to, but he would just attack Link if he left him conscious. He turned the gun around and struck the guy across the head with it, sprawling him across the floor like a scarecrow. From there, Link dropped the gun and ran into the wind of the Ice Caverns as more guards and White Wolfos came howling in the opposite direction.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _When you are wrestling for possession of a sword, the man with the handle always wins._ _"_


	41. One Giant, Golden Goblet

**DING, DING, DING, SMAAAAAAASH!**

Fed up of its noise, Link pounded the alarm bell into pieces with the Megaton Hammer, sending pieces of brass all over the place.

"I figured that the flame would be near where the bell is going off!" Link groaned, kicking aside a brass shard.

"Link, I can hear something coming our way!" reported Navi. She hung in the direction of the sound of pounding paws on the ground. "Keep a watchful eye out! While we were on a wild goose chase, whatever that is, is on a literal one and he's after us!"

"What is it?"

Navi listened closely to the claws clicking on the floor. "It's..." Then she started to hear snarling and growling. "Oh no."

Link felt a pair of icy claws rake against the Hylian Shield on his back, making him jump and turn around, putting the Megaton Hammer back in his pouch. A feral grin greeted him as well as another swipe of burning cold claws.

This Wolfos looked like the Forest Wolfos Link had a run in with as a child, but its fur was now white and its eyes were an empty red. Its claws were so cold that being hit with them would actually leave a burn. Link found that out the hard way from the slightest touch.

" **OW!** " he hissed and rolled up his sleeve. His skin had swollen and turned red from where the monster had cut him and he was already starting to bleed steaming blood from it. "Back! Get back, I say! Back!" Fighting to take his mind off the pain, Link **VUMMED** the Master Sword out of its home and used it to make the Wolfos back away.

 **VUM! VUM! VVVVVVVUM!**

Link's plan of cooling down the enemy was working a bit too well. With every progressive swing, the Wolfos got more and more evasive. It leaped over Link's head, ran through his legs and it even found the time to attack through the holes Link left in his defences.

"It's too speedy!" squeaked Navi over the sounds of buzzing and growling, "Link, use Din's Fire! White Wolfos are weak against fire!"

"Ah! That makes sense, I suppose!"

More clashing claws screeched across the metal grooves in the floor as another worker restraining six more White Wolfos with a branching chain lead ran into the room to join the first. "Link! Now! Do it now!"

 **CHINK!** **ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!**

The man let all the Wolfos off the lead before pulling out a machete to aid them himself but Link had sheathed his weapon and was handling a gassy fireball…

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

The fireball squished against the floor and exploded fiercely, drenching the whole room in blasting fire. Every single Wolfos in the area instantly evaporated with no time to whine, scream or even move. The handler flew back and hit the wall, fire slowly spreading across his coat. The entire room had melted in the explosion, since it was all made of metal. A desk in the corner had essentially been nuked, spilling its guts of pencils and snacks all over the floor. The urn just to the left of the desk had completely burst open, coating the surrounding area in bubbling, brown tea.

Link took a moment to recover from the exertion he had placed upon himself by inviting the wrath of Din into the room. Little specks of water from the evaporated Wolfos had frozen to the floor and the handler got up and ran off down the room, batting his flaming jacket and screaming all the way. " **Clayton!** " he shouted down the melting corridors, " **CLAAAAAYTOOOOON!** "

* * *

"What was that?" Clayton hammered his coffee mug on the table again, causing one of the legs to snap. The table tilted to one side, sliding the cup to the floor once more. "Let me get this right: the intruder just… kersploded all the Wolfos away? How? Tell me!"

"Not the foggiest, sir!" stuttered the charred worker grovelling in front of him, "I just let them all off the lead and… he blew them all into water with one massive fireball! It was like he just… set the air on fire!"

" **HOW DID HE KNOW THE ICE WOLFOS' WEAKNESSES?** "

"I don't know! Don't forget, the mutants are still around! Last time I checked, anyway. Maybe they'll ice him!"

"They'd better." snarled the beastly man. He spat the words out as if they tasted unpleasant. He reached one of his gloved hands out and grabbed the worker by the collar, tugging so sharply that he almost tore his hood off. "We can't afford to lose the blue fire because we still need to figure out what it does! What if he releases it in the Water Temple and it… takes out all our workers over there! That thing is dangerous to our forces to just lose! Now sic the mutants on him! Now!" With that, the robust boss chucked his worker back down to the floor, where he scrambled up and dashed out of the office. "I, on the other hand, will deal with the little runt myself!"

* * *

Air vents burst as Link passed by them. He hurdled over patches of ice that threatened to trip him over should he trample them, sliding smoothly into a corner before meeting a sheet of ice that blocked his way, almost crashing into it. He booted the obstacle into shards before running straight into the cargo room and almost into the open jaws of the most horrifying enemies that Link had ever encountered put together.

He couldn't speak, neither could the monsters. Navi couldn't talk and that must have meant there was something seriously wrong here. The monsters both looked like men, but… one of them looked like he had been horizontally bisected. He crawled along the ground like a seal, only wearing a torn, stinking red coat. His head was bald and covered in bulging veins and his eyes were dead and grey. The red fluids that were left trailed over the floor like he was a new breed of slug.

As for the second man, he was still bipedal but he was a great, hulking bull. Literally. He had some scattered scraps of hair dished over his face like camouflage patterns and the parts of his leg visible through his torn trousers were swarmed with fur. He only had one of his boots on and the shoeless foot was not that of a human, but a fairly large bull. His hands were gone and sharp, cutting scythes sat in their place.

"What the- Navi, analysis, please!"

"Yes! What **are** these things?" Navi's voice trembled, as did she but she flew around the seal-mutant to analyse it. As she gathered some statistics, Link drew his bow and rapidly aimed it at the two miscreations in succession like a metronome. "Right, so these are mutated workers." said Navi. As she continued speaking, she began to turn a disgusted, yellow/green colour. "They were fed a serum of some kind that turned them into mutants, horribly deformed and devoid of humanity of any kind. The crawling one breathes poison so just hold your breath and… dodge the bigger one as best you can!"

Link mouthed a quick thank you to his partner. He bounced at the larger mutant and met its slash with one of his own, sending his scythe appendage flying into the wall. Link then dived out of the way as he stomped with his hoof, cracking the icy floor from his might. The Hylian Shield screamed along the metal floor as Link rolled to a stop before steadily getting back up. The seal mutant was quick to chase after him, sliding along on his two arms with his mouth hanging open. Yellow gas poured out of his mouth like a man who had eaten too much garlic, persuading Link to fasten two fingers over his nose and hold his breath. Link took hold of his Hookshot and blasted it at the legless monster. When it sunk into his coat, Link stalled, taking out the Master Sword.

Before he hit the trigger to reel in his catch, he pointed the blade at the monster like a gun. "I'm sorry." he said sincerely. He squeezed the lever again, drawing the monster in where he met his end on the end of Link's blade. The energy from the Master Sword flared across the mutant's entire body, eating it with blue flames that disintegrated it into nothingness.

The bigger mutant moaned and groaned as he clomped towards him, making a sound akin to a toddler wearing his mother's high heels. It jabbed rapidly with its one remaining scythe, which was straight rather than curved. As it got closer and closer, Link could feel its rancid, hot breath tickling his face and he instantly felt like the food he had at Goron City was going to find its way back out. Was this one poisonous as well or did he just really need to brush his teeth? In fact, I might need to go and find a clothes peg for myself! Ignoring that, Link had to get out of this thing's range and attack from a distance. Maybe with the bow? Din's Fire?

Link chose the first one that popped into his mind. The Hookshot wasn't powerful enough to finish the job, the bow would take too much preparation but Din's Fire had more than enough capability. The teen ran back against the wall and focused. He thought of scorching fire surrounding Din once more and then he pictured a flying flame.

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

He felt an explosive inferno blasting out from his fingertips, quickly followed by the sound of pained whining. He admittedly felt a little bad when he heard the monster that was once a possibly innocent man collapsing to the floor. When he opened his eyes again, he was safe. He had given the mutant a merciful death. It lay on the floor, back smouldering like an open grill.

"Good work, Link." Navi said, her voice still shivering from the cold and the sights. "What happened to these workers? Why did they all become mutants? Who fed them the serum?"

"I honestly have no idea." Link replied, shaking his head, "but I think the answer is going to present itself right through that icy tunnel on the wall there."

Navi turned to look where her partner was, noticing that he had seen a tiny opening in the wall that went through a wall and into another room. Navi began to make a noise as if to think of why he shouldn't crawl through it, but she backed off when she saw a small, blue light shimmering on the floor all the way through it. "Good idea, actually. It looks like the flame is right in there. Come on, Link. I'll scout ahead."

* * *

What was on the other end of the tunnel, you ask? For one, it was the main room of the research lab. A wooden stool was sitting just before a desk, straining under the weight of a titanic man, who was probably the iceberg who sunk the ship in the first place. One giant, golden goblet proudly displayed itself at the back of the room, carved with mesmerising, magnetising fern patterns and inside it held the most beautiful, beastly blue flame anyone would ever see. It was the flame hot enough to melt red ice. The Blue Flame.

The jiggly man turned his ample neck as a boy in his late teens emerged from the emergency tunnel to his right. He pulled himself up, his entire front covered in frost.

"Oh, hi! Come in, come in." greeted the fat foreman, raising a Pemmican and dipping it into a bowl of peppered soup. "Make yourself at home."

"At home?" Navi repeated in disbelief. "You have to be joking!"

"We just met two men out there who looked like they'd been put through a spiky wringer!" Link informed the boss. He walked towards the man and his eyes temporarily shifted to the goblet housing the blue fire. He almost smiled but he stifled his excitement because this man looked like he wasn't going to give it up that easily.

"Yes. It's riveting, don't you think?" The man ignored Link's concern and gnawed on his food.

"Judging by your red coat, I'd take a guess that they were your own employees!"

"They were just rookie blokes. My serum was supposed to make all the humans grow biceps on their biceps that grew on their biceps but… powerful monsters are almost just as good!"

"That's horrid! Your workers don't want to be guinea pigs, scythes and poison breath or not!" Navi shouted. Link beckoned her back with his head anxiously.

"The timing is just right now." continued the boss, still eating and smacking his lips as he spoke, "If I can figure out the purpose of this fire and if it helps with my experiment, I'll be rolling in rupees! If it doesn't do anything I can just sell it and be rolling either way!"

Link drew his bow and aimed an arrow, realising that talking would probably not back this guy down. "But how do you know the fire is safe? It could blow the world up for all you know! Your idea of good timing is, quite frankly, atrocious!"

"I wouldn't say that." the supervisor countered. With that, he upended his desk, which clotheslined Link to the floor. Scalding soup seared his face and the force of the liquid downed Navi, who defencelessly coughed and spluttered. It was like being hit by a Hawaiian wave for a fairy of her size. The man picked up his coat as well as his bag and dashed for the exit, whacking Link out of consciousness with it as he passed and very nearly killing Navi by almost stepping on her as he made his way out of the metal door to go for the Water Temple.

* * *

"Young hero..."

A hand pushed Link's head upwards for a drink of something hot. Chicken broth, maybe?

"Thanks." gargled Link, enjoying the wakeup call of food. As he blew his hair out of his eyes, he saw a red-eyed boy peering back at him with a bleak white sneaking suit that had green blotches. "Sheik? How did you know I was here?"

"Your negative emotions guided me with a dark shadow." Sheik told him, fastening the lid on his flask and putting it back on his belt. "You are feeling resentment towards something, my friend. The only question is, what are these feelings for?"

"What?" Navi gasped rising up and stinking of minestrone, "You never told me about this, Link!"

"I sense…" breathed Sheik, placing two fingers close to each other, "you have a long-lasting feeling that you don't belong at home. I can see the disintegration of that feeling of finally belonging. You feel that you never belong anywhere because you are used as a mere tool. Everyone's hammer. Your doubt is starting to drag you down."

"Link… Why didn't you say anything?" Navi asked. Link almost cried from hearing the very slight betrayal in his friend's voice. Normally, he would never notice that. "We're friends! I'd have helped you. Tell me before it's too late and… maybe I can be of assistance."

"That will not be needed." cut in Sheik. Link could see that he was starting to wield his harp. "I can see all. Do you remember his path, Navi?"

"Yes… It was horrible, wasn't it, Link?" Navi said, perching on her partner, "Hardly anyone accepted you into your home because you didn't have me with you. Then… everyone started treating you like a regular human being the second you got me."

"Precisely. There is no need for you to speak now, Link, just listen. A frigid gale pierced Zoras Domain and froze it over. As you can see, it is now blanketed in layers of ice and snow and a frigid wind blows through the wilderness. Do not fear, for I was able to rescue a few of the Zora before the rescue team showed up, but the daughter of the King immediately started travelling to Lake Hylia to break Ganondorf's curse and… that is where your next objective hides. In the deep depths of the Water Temple."

"But..." Link stammered, crawling backwards. "But… the King Zora! I came here to get that blue fire over there so I could thaw him out!" He rapidly signalled to the blazing cup at the back of the room, but Sheik shook his head gently.

"Hand over your bottle and I shall take some of that fire to him and thaw him out. You have more important things to do, such as learning the Serenade of Water. Playing it will take you straight to Lake Hylia and therefore, the Water Temple."

With that, Sheik took out his harp and Link undid the bottle from his pouch to hand to Sheik, who scooped some of the dancing fire into it. When they were ready, they started to perform.

As Sheik's melody reached the refrain, Link felt more at ease as he played. He felt as if he was surrounded by warm water. It felt so nice that he forgot all about the freezing temperatures that had been plaguing him. It was a bit of a shame when he had finished because he snapped back to reality and almost passed out from feeling the cold again.

"The Water Temple is dangerous to our kind." Sheik told Link. "That is why-"

"You're going to turn Link into a Zora?" suggested Navi. Link very nearly grinned but he stopped when he realised that Navi's reply was completely serious. Much to his relief, Sheik shook his head.

"I am a minstrel, not a miracle worker. I can, however, provide you with this." Sheik undid a strap that went across his back, making a dark blue tunic flop into his arms. "This is a Zora tunic. It allows its wearer to breathe water as if it is the harmless air. With it on, no amount of water pressure, nor time spent underwater, could kill anyone."

"So… it essentially turns me into a Zora?"

"Precisely." **BOOM!**

Link didn't even see Sheik move this time. He just saw an explosion, then white and finally, he was gone once more.

"How does he do that?" hissed Link in frustration, "That one scared the skeleton out of me!"

"Whatever he's done, he's gone right to Zora's Domain to thaw out the king." replied Navi, "We should get on with what he told us to do."

"You're right. Ruto's trapped in that temple and something tells me she is the next sage!" And so, Link pulled out the Ocarina of Time and played the mellow six notes that Sheik had taught him, allowing the resulting vortex of water to grab and surround him. As he spun off into the blue void, his green clothing slowly changed to blue. The water that soaked his old green tunic was now sliding around like water on a duck's back. _"Well, I'll be!_ "he thought, _"The thing works!"_

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die._ _"_


	42. The Illusionary Room

Link came around to heavy rain, being yanked sideways by forceful winds. Navi's light made him squint, but he looked away to see that he was on a remote island in the middle of a drained lake. The island was joined to the mainland by a spacious robe bridge. On said mainland was an exaggeratedly designed house with white walls and a blue roof. "Here we are, Link." Navi said, "Lake Hylia."

"When Sheik said I could use some of the songs to get to places such as the forest one, I'm gonna be honest, I thought he was telling fibs." Link said, stirring. He was leaning against a damp old tree that felt like it was going to collapse any minute. He leaned away from it and turned around, noticing that someone, or something, had raked beastly claws across its skin. The question was, would Link run into it? Was it in the Water Temple? Where even was the Water Temple? Was it underneath the island?

The area where the grass met with the rock was high above where the lake actually started. From this, Link could gather that this lake had been drained of most of its water. It seemed to have once been about a hundred feet in depths and now that had been reduced to a measly twenty.

"I think I should test this tunic out." Link declared, pulling the fabric of the Zora Tunic. Since when did he even have this on? When he played the Serenade of Water, he was in his green attire and… he couldn't remember putting it on after that. "Might as well get it over with."

And with a mighty leap, he fell from his island, crashing into the frigid waters below. Navi followed him down, plopping under herself. Even after piercing the water's surface, Link didn't exhale. He didn't quite trust Sheik enough with his life, neither did he trust this tunic. His head splitting from the temperature of the water, he looked behind himself at the base of the island. A very simple doorway, lined with bricks and left open by a raised portcullis. Link gasped at the sight of it… underwater.

If Sheik had been a traitor and painted a regular tunic blue, he would have had to frantically scurry to the surface to fill his lungs. If he was telling the truth, which he was… Link didn't have to even go back to the surface. The water filled his lungs and then left, only making his nose slightly itchy. He was even more surprised when Navi flawlessly swam beside him. _"_ _I thought fairies couldn't swim!"_

Link thought of replying but the water would have made that impossible. After all, swimming is basically just flying through much thicker air. Instead, he let the slight vortex that swarmed in front of the entrance take him inside, where the rusty portcullis clattered shut, trailing bubbles in the water.

* * *

It was within the Water Temple. Princess Ruto, a mature, queenly woman, splashed out of the water and behind a large, wooden box. She had just had a particularly nasty encounter with a Shell Blade, which was an aquatic, clam-like enemy with a muscle ligament holding its two shells together, and it had clamped down hard on her arm, leaving it bleeding blue blood. She cautiously looked behind her. If one of those frogmen from earlier saw a trail that she may have left, they'd get suspicious and follow it. She already had enough of them to deal with.

The room she was trying to sneak through was heavily guarded by men wearing full-body swimming suits that came with face-covering masks. Their flippers splatted like on the floor like a duck's feet, leaving webbed footprints of water across their patrol paths. They held crossbows in their arms, which were loaded with a harpoon.

Ruto's breath shivered quietly as she held her arm wound to stem the flow of blood. She could not let any of these guys know there was a Zora in there.

One of the divers passed the hiding Ruto, who stayed as still as possible. Her heart rate skyrocketed and her breathing slowly lost control and crashed as the man looked left and right. For such a vibrant young lady, Ruto thought that the cover of the crate clashed greatly with her blue skin, so… she needed to take him out quickly. Her father had taught her of a ranged attacking technique that created a hard-hitting pulse of water which had enough energy to instantly knock people unconscious. It was relatively quiet, so…

" _Let's go with that."_ Ruto cupped her two hands and felt her energy leaving through her fingertips. Water pulsed like a heart in her hand as it reached its full charge. Right on cue, the guard turned and his eyes met with hers through the little glass eyeholes that were in his mask. He couldn't even run to alert all his co-workers and his boss before he was struck clean in the face. Instantly out, the man fell to the floor. Glass from his broken mask scattered over the floor and Ruto stood over him.

"What do we have here?" she muttered as she rolled the man over, off of his weapon. His crossbow and supply of harpoons glistened with water, just begging her to take them with her. "I could use this..." she mused, rubbing her forehead. With all of that out of the way, she picked his supply up and vanished back into the water, letting the current escape with her.

* * *

Despite having no need to, Link gasped for air instinctively upon surfacing in the Water Temple. Inhaling loudly herself, Navi popped up with him and landed on a nearby edge, fluttering to tell Link to climb out himself.

"How can you swim all of a sudden?" Link asked as he yanked himself out of the pool. Navi shrugged.

"I think that fairies naturally get to swim after some years have passed. I saw you disappear under the water and thought 'Well, there's no hat to hide in this time. I should give it a try' and… I could do it!" Navi shook her little body to rid it of water. "Still, I really don't like water. It feels like flying through honey!"

Link stepped into the rather modernly furnished room. Its floor was made of marble and uneven bricks formed the walls. What drew Link over was a large window that peeked into a further point of the temple. It was a warehouse-style room that held a maze of brown boxes. There was a man stationed at the back, covered by a body suit of some kind. He looked around for intruders, shining the lights from above off his glass eyeholes. Clattering around next to him was a monster of some kind. It had two shells, held together by something between the two. The back of its shell had sharp spikes protruding from it, explaining its peculiar movement patterns.

"Navi, who are these guys through this window?" Link whispered. He slowly withdrew his head out of sight while Navi came over for a little look.

"It's a frogman." she whispered to him. Link looked like she had just told him it was a loaf of sentient bread.

"That guy is a frog?"

"What? No, not a frog! A frogman is someone who dives underwater with a special suit that allows them to breathe and flippers that allow them to swim faster." the fairy explained, "You see that shell next to him?" Link nodded his head. "That is a Shell Blade. The muscle ligament in its mouth is its weak spot and it can't hear or see you. It can only feel vibrations from your footsteps, so be careful with that."

"Got it. Do I need to go in that room?" asked Link.

"I hope not, otherwise that frogman might make us croak."

With all that said and done, Link crouched underneath the window and slithered past, out of the potential sights of the guard, who tugged on his suit irritatedly. "I wish someone would HURRY UP and invent some more convenient swimming suit!" he moaned. "This fabric is killing me!"

* * *

Link crept around the corner, wary for windows that could expose him to enemies, and made it to an ornate hallway, decorated with shiny white pillars and golden statues of waves. This hall ended with a small, round tunnel in the wall. Bubbly water shot out of a pipe down the tunnel, making it function as a decent slide.

"This tunnel leads into the main lake of the temple." Navi said. "Are you ready, Link?"

Link gave her a prepared nod, got down on his bottom and propelled himself down the tube, plunging himself into darkness. He felt the air whooshing past him as he sped down and down the tube, Navi chasing after him in the water.

 **WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!**

Faster and faster and faster every inch of the way. You know a few chapters back when I said that Link had never been on a waterslide? Well, we can scratch that off the bucket list, can't we? Link was whipping around corners so quickly that he almost did a full 360 around the walls and the ceiling. Coloured dots flashed past him in streaks like he was travelling through a wormhole, like kids would do when their parents were driving home at night in a snowstorm. For a crazy second he thought that was what was happening until… he could no longer feel anything below him. He realised what was happening in enough time to scream briefly but he crashed into a shallow lake. Luckily, his shield took all the impact, leaving him to stand up in…

...an empty void of a realm. Had he gone 9,000 light years into the future or not? Link was honestly not sure in the slightest.

The ground was just a giant blanket of water that stretched out for miles and miles. One giant ocean that bore no fish or depth and extended further than the eye could see. Remnants of broken structures littered the horizon, which held no sun. Just eerie, green mist. There was one intact building straight opposite Link, though, past a little desert island with a dying tree in the middle.

"Where have we ended up, Navi?" Link asked his companion. He felt a cold, damp chill tingle his spine, causing him to quiver.

"This place is an illusion!" Navi's hasty, vehement answer caught Link off guard. "I can sense it. This is just an ordinary room in the temple, bent and twisted to form a fantasy of some kind!"

"How do you know this?"

"My senses tell me this. I just heard… something in my head!"

Link decided not to reply to his fairy and instead he took a small step forward at the building on the other side of the lake. He stared at his reflection as it walked on the soles of his boots. It, in turn, stared back at him.

Just what were reflections? Link had always wondered that from the moment he first saw his in the duck pond as a child, moments before he was 'accidentally' knocked in. He and Saria both came up with interesting theories as to what they were, such as them being the sun deciding to provide you with a mirror, but Link's personal favourite was that reflections were just other versions of yourself living on an inverted world below you, where they would see you in the pond and dismiss you as a simple reflection, just like you would.

…

I doubt that made any sense.

Anyhow, Link trudged onto the desert island and stopped against a tree to think on just why someone was twisting his mind like this. What was their intent? Were they a friend or a foe? Was this a trap?

" _ **Young hero… Young hero that has visited your future...**_ " a voice started to echo in Link's head in a serene, almost angelic ring. Link looked up into the endless sky in… a strange feeling. He felt a little scared. He felt a little untrusting. At the same time, he wanted to listen. " ** _This is the illusionary room of the Water Temple. This temple is the first place you will be confronted by your conflicted feelings._** " continued the mysterious man, " _ **This room is a reflection of your heart. Only when you are pure can you move on. It takes a look into your heart and reflects what hides in it. For you, it is the anger and resentment, and they take the shape of your other half.**_ "

"My… other half?" repeated Link, "I can't lose half my body! I'm using it!"

" _ **Take a step off the island, messenger, then look below you.**_ "

Keep in mind, Navi couldn't hear a word of this, so she was more than worried for her friend when he took a trance-like step off the island and into the water.

His reflection was gone.

"What have you done?" Link shouted upwards. Navi was terrified, having no context of what was happening. "Answer me! What did you do to my reflection? Why isn't it showing up?"

" _ **You left it behind.**_ "

"Link! Watch out!"

Link blindly swung the Master Sword out of its sheathe, blocking a black blade. It should have just swept through the thin air but Link's defensive move had collided and shot sparks.

A dark shape was his attempted assassin. He wore a black hat and tunic, black tights and black boots. His skin was black, his hair was black, his scarf was black, his sword was black, his shield was black… his eyes were red.

Unlike other enemies Link had faced in his travels, this man did not go for another strike immediately. He stood straight, his neck slightly sagging left and his sword hanging limply by his side. A black spot that was a fairy trailed red drops of magic behind her as she spun around her master.

" **I am the one part of you that rejects your destiny, spawned by the destruction of the rupee of bad luck...** " rumbled the man. " **Dark Link.** "

The enemy raised his blade again, this time going for a double handed swing. Going for the same method, Link held the Master Sword sideways and parried his weapon. Seeing his opening, he charged straight at Dark Link with his sword straight forward. He said no word in concentration and terror, especially when Dark Link somehow vaulted the strike, landing on his blade. The contact made a constant hiss on the blade while Dark Link remained firmly planted like he was in some kind of scary circus act.

Link didn't break eye contact with the shadow. Navi couldn't believe what she was seeing. _"This guy looks like the very definition of evil!"_ she thought, _"How is he not just vapourising?"_

Link was thinking the same thing. He tried to say it out loud, but he only succeeded in sounding like a broken radio. "I… You… You can't… Master Sw- Uh..."

Dark Link's red, red eyes flashed and he lunged his leg forward, smashing Link to the floor in an instant. Blood started to evacuate his nose and stain the pool, which Dark Link dove into like a swan. Link's blood mixed with the sight of Dark Link swimming down into the water and out of sight, with Link having no way of following him down.

"Link! Your weakness!" cried Navi, flying high above the ground, "What is your weakness? What would you do if you… wanted to… outsmart yourself?" Her partner was completely lost. He scratched his head, having no idea how to imagine that. "Sorry, Link! This is new! I've never seen anything like this before!"

Dark Link swam in circles underneath Link like a shark. All that was missing was two chords of music playing on repeat, slowly getting faster and tenser. _"My weakness… My weakness…_ _What is my weakness?_ _"_

And so, Link looked down at the bottomless pit to try and find his impersonator. With time running out, he was fast growing impatient. "Thinking of a weakness is harder than it sounds! What do I need to work on? And WHERE DID HE GO?"

"Link, below you!" Navi's warning found its way to Link without hesitation and he rolled backwards in the water, drenching himself as Dark Link cannoned his way out like a dolphin, spinning with his blade outstretched. The real Link tried to jump and counter-attack but, since his reflexes were on point, so were Dark Link's. His red eyes shone as he parried with his own blade, knocking Link back. An awful, ringing numbness stung his arm, stilling it and almost disarming it.

" **I am your feelings of anger and resentment that the rupoor that got destroyed managed to give life to.** "stated Dark Link. He hung his arms low and hunched over. " **This room reflects your personality.** "

"How so?"

" **There is nothing here but an endless stretch of water. In the middle of it all stands an island with a lonely tree on top.** " He raised his blade at Link. Not to slash him, but to point it indicatively at him. " **You feel alone in your quest, but you keep calm and press on. I am destined to fall to you and when I do, your doubt will be cleansed from your heart and you will fully accept your destiny.** "

Link… didn't know what to do at this point. Did he just… go straight back to attacking? No. That would be impolite after Dark Link had just given him a break. This was no monster, nor was he even ill-intentioned. He was just following his fate to the bitter end. Link sighed in regret a little and looked straight at his opponent, raising his weapon. "Shall we continue?"

" **I follow my fate. You must follow yours.** " Dark Link copied his stance. As Link traced his sword through the air like he was drawing a circle in the air, Dark Link followed his every move. He emulated his breathing, his slight shifts, his blinking, even his fairy completely mirrored Navi. It was like looking in a giant mirror!

Wait, not my mirror, that would be weird!

Dark Link made the first move. He pounced like a panther, his black iron sword cleaving the air with a shrill noise. The Master Sword was quick to stand in its way. The tangle turned into a tango as the fighters elegantly stepped back and forward, trying to get the upper hand. Link tried to find an opening, but keeping his guard up was one of his strong points so this fight would surely never end if both combatants were experts at covering themselves.

Thinking actively while trying to stop any holes forming in his defence, however, was something he struggled with. It was like talking to someone while simultaneously playing the guitar. Therefore, Dark Link quickly managed to catch him off guard, slashing him twice across the torso. He cried out as a spray of blood painted the lake and part of Dark Link's boots. Navi was quite speechless and nervously backed away as Dark Link fixed the pixie in his sights, but he didn't follow up with more. As Link gripped his new perforations, the shadow narrowed his blood red eyes and pointed his sword down to Link. " **Victory... is not my destiny. Get up and fight.** "

Link jumped straight back up, letting a flow of adrenaline drown his pain. It was difficult to keep going because the warrior's sharp blade had done a LOT of damage to him. His body felt like it was on fire. It felt worse than Gohma's acid attack. Was this the complete opposite of the Master Sword that harmed good souls instead of the bad? Was he… shutting down?

" _No! No I'm not! Keep going, Link! You can do it!"_ Link repeated to himself mentally and turned his offence all the way up. He threw himself at his reflection and locked his blade against his dozens and dozens of times. With every strike, more sparks would fly. With every swing, the Master Sword hummed like a giant beetle. With every attack, there was less time in between one and the next. Everything ground to a halt when Link pinned Dark Link against the dead tree on the island, who was only using his sword to hold Link off.

The two men struggled and pushed forwards to try and throw each other off balance, the metal of their swords scraping gratingly together. Then, Link saw a solution he could try to make work. He just had to rely on one factor.

He had to believe that Dark Link only had copies of the Master Sword and the Hylian Shield.

Dark Link felt himself fall forwards a little as Link strafed sideways and when the doppelgänger locked onto his opponent, he also locked onto a great big hammer which shot through the air, pulverising his fairy instantly and knocking him to the floor with an almighty **CLANNNNNNNNNNNNG** Which ran through the bones of the mallet for seconds before Link put it back. Dark Link breathed heavily as he bled a black, ink-like substance into the water like a fountain pen. Link took out the Master Sword and held it up above his head, his face apologetic as if he were giving an injection to a quivering child. As he prepared to end the battle, he inhaled to say something.

"I'm sorry."

One sword, one stab, one scream, one yell, everything was over.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!** "

That sound would have stuck with Link for the rest of his life. It sounded like he had just heard himself dying. This time, however, he felt… acceptance. He felt… peace. He felt…

pain.

* * *

Link's heart had gone faster than a pneumatic drill on a foot pump, and the number it had done on him was much higher than he had realised as the adrenaline from fighting had masked his pain quite well. Let's just say that, with all the blood spilling from his wounds, the Zora Tunic may well have been confused for his red one. He had lost so much blood that he was beginning to see things. Yes, he could see the misty realm changing into a normal, decorated praying room seamlessly before his very eyes.

His hearing started deteriorating. He heard Navi asking him frantic questions about his health but her voice kept cutting in and out like he was listening to her while underwater. The pain in his chest was setting his every pain cell on fire.

If these wounds weren't dressed up like a man going to a fancy restaurant in good time, he would fall before he ever left the temple.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves._ _"_


	43. Diver Dan

"Je vous demande pardon? You mean to tell me his shadow did all this?"

A tall Zora stood over Link, who had let the blood loss get to him. He was out like a light and, confusingly, in a rather plain room of the temple in ankle-deep water. The Zora crouched down beside him and lightly pressed down on his chest, which toothpasted some more blood out. "How has he done that? Did he take up shadow boxing and get beaten?"

"That's not funny!" Navi snapped, turning red. The Zora cringed and put her head back down.

"Yes, yes. That was a bit… inappropriate. I'm sorry." she murmered, "Well, since you're probably serious, I'll do my best. I can dull his pain and stop the bleeding, but that's the most I can do." producing a bandage from her bag, the fishy stranger tied it all around Link's waist where his cuts were. He hissed and writhed in alarm as the binds got tighter around him, prompting his nurse to tut. "Zut alors, he's a bit of a fidget, isn't he? Hey, hold still! I'm trying to help you here!"

"What will happen when he wakes up?"

"All his pain will be gone, but he will need to move carefully so as not to reopen his wounds." replied the Zora. She reached down to the floor and moved a weapon over to him. It was an elastic ranged weapon consisting of a prod mounted horizontally on the main frame, a tiller. Coming with it was a supply of pointed projectiles. They resembled arrows but the top bent off in only one direction rather than two. "This is a crossbow and these are harpoons. If he's conservative with them, they should last him until he gets out of here."

Navi nodded and turned blue with trust. "Thank you. Thanks a lot."

"De rien. Tell me when he gets out of this place so we can have the ceremony we vowed on years and years ago. If you know what I mean!" With all she had to say all out, the Zora giggled and swam through the shallow water like an eel, sinking down a drain in the corner.

" _Ceremony? What was she talking about? Have we even met this woman?"_ Navi thought in confusion at the Zora's last remark. _"Years and years ago? The only female Zora I remember meeting was the… PRINCESS?"_

* * *

Link sat up, stilled by maturity and serenity. He had not the foggiest idea why, but he had been feeling nothing but this ever since he had beaten Dark Link. He had not remembered travelling anywhere, just fainting in the room he fought, but… where had he ended up? The walls were numerous dizzying shades of blue when before, there had been no walls at all. He was still lying in a giant pool of water that made it look like someone had busted a hole in the water pipes, but now there was a physical floor instead of an endless stretch of nothing that he could somehow stand on.

"Who did all this?" he mused, feeling the bandages winding around his stomach. He fully stood up, getting a surprise when he found out that the pain cell war zone that once brawled upon his chest had subdued.

"Link! It was Ruto!" Much to his relief, Navi shot around him, leaving coils of light in the air like a luminous spring. "Your fishy fiancée just found you, bandaged you up and went deeper in the temple!"

"Navi, fill me in, please. What is a fiancée and why is Princess Ruto mine?"

"A fiancée is a woman you are planning to get married to!" Navi said. She tittered teasingly. "Remember when she said her mum told her to only give her Spiritual Stone to the man she would get hitched with?"

Link's face turned red, making his injuries twinge slightly. "Stop teasing me! I had no idea what that meant at the time and… I only knew her for a few hours at most!"

"Well, it would be a let down to leave your wife behind, won't it, Link? She went down that drain over there."

"Well, that's good for her. What do I get from going down there?"

Suddenly, Link heard the sound of something clicking behind him. He whipped around, blade hissing as he unsheathed it, to a man in a rather ineffective looking diving suit, holding the strange weapon that used to be on the floor beside him. "Stop!" he ordered. Link stopped moving, but he didn't stop pointing his weapon in warning. "Drop your weapon. Slowly."

"You'll get away from him, that's what!" Navi whispered in her companion's ear. Link gave her a slight movement of his head to show that he fully intended on following Ruto.

Link cleared his throat. "Hey there! I suppose this whole thing about leaving people alone so they will… return the favour just went right out the window, didn't it?"

"Cut the chit-chat and do as I say." the man replied. "Or I'll shoot you. This lab is under restricted entry! We have important experiments here and the last thing we want is you messing everyone!"

"All right, mister." Link said, throwing his arms up. "First rule about me: I don't just give up like that!" With that, Link began to run for the drainage system in the corner of the room.

Harpoons flew through the air as Link rolled to the side, trying to get to the drain in the corner. The man chased after him, shooting more rounds from Link's supply of harpoons. They all fell upon the wall and crashed to the floor. Link wrenched the drain off the hole it covered and dived inside as the frogman guard raced after him, pausing to fire a few shots down the hole before diving after him.

Link dragged through the jet of water as it whisked him painfully along the sides of the pipe. He scratched himself on limpets that clung to the sides and was abruptly yanked to the side by other pipes that were in junctions. Like a great white shark, the frogman guard swam after him, firing his harpoon crossbow at his prey. The thin pipe combined with his fast shots made it very likely that Link would get hit at least once but every time the diver fired, Link was sucked into a different tube. Periodically, Link would take a look behind himself to see if he'd lost his pursuer but the wide gaze of the man's diving mask had him fixed in its reticles and wouldn't let go.

Bubbles were left in the water as harpoon after harpoon whizzed through it. Link was very glad his shield was on his back to block them all as he could hear the metal scraping in his ears. He was passed side to side between pipes, upwards, downwards and even through a full loop. He had only been swimming for twenty seconds but it felt like he had spent a lifetime in there, just like when people go on a scary ride at Alton Towers. He cornered one last time and was then propelled straight up and out, leading to him flying into the air and crumpling to the floor of a thin corridor, the diver following closely behind. When the latter stood up, he loaded his crossbow once more.

 **CLA-CLICK!**

"I saw you from the moment you looked at me through the window, mate! Don't think I'm blind!" snarled the man, "Either leave our lab alone so we can continue our experiments in peace or die right here. Choose wisely!"

"I can't leave now! My… friend went this way!" Link answered in return, blushing and glancing aside.

"Suit yourself!"

One more harpoon shot from its slit in the crossbow, biting through the air towards Link. He bent over backwards to avoid it, literally, and it flew harmlessly into a little tube of water that was intimidatingly rising out of the floor.

Wait, a tube of water?

"Oh, Adam's ale!" Navi squeaked, "Link, behind you!"

Link ignored the diver, who was preparing another harpoon, in favour of his friend's warning. When he had his back to the man, he could see that his fairy had been going haywire over…

...nothing. The water lay still with tiny waves lapping up against his boots.

"What is it, Navi? Someone had a bladder failure in here?"

"No! That's not it at all! It was… It was..."

With another click of his crossbow, the diver pinned Link under its sharp gaze. "Whatever it was, forget it! You're not distracting me with that old trick! You're planning to scarper while your back was turned, weren't you? Well, there's no point in doing that! I see right through you!"

Link turned around, allowing Navi to hide in his hat to protect her. "Well, my fairy saw something behind me, so… I just had to turn around and have a look, didn't I? I mean, what if someone had… gone in here?"

"Well, always leave them laughing, why don't we?" The man clicked his crossbow once more. I'm starting to think he's just showing off rather than planning to shoot anyone at this point, but… he raised the aiming circle to his eye. "Goodbye."

Time skidded to a halt as the man held his finger to the trigger. Like he was trying to avoid startling a bull, Link moved very slowly and slipped his shield onto his arm. Sweat started to line his sweating head, releasing enough to fill the entire room. The fabric of the diver's face cover twisted as he smiled in sadistic joy…

...while an area in the water behind him started to rise like a cake. It towered over him, pointing itself straight at Link. It even made a slight shaking movement, as if cheekily telling him not to warn anyone.

"Sir, behind you!" Link shouted at the man as the tube of bubbling, frothing water reached down towards him like a dangerous tentacle. The frogman lowered his crossbow in disbelief, scoffing loudly.

"Pah! You're talking rubbish! I may be dense but surely you don't think I'm going to fall for that old chestnut!"

"No, really!" Navi joined, flashing a revolving blue like a police siren. She rammed herself against the diver's mask. "Behind you!"

"'Behind you! Behind you!' Ha, ha, ha! We're in the safest room of this place! What could possibly be lurking about in this tip?" The man threw his head back, about to burst out laughing, but he almost burst out his lungs as something squeezed around his midsection, causing him to drop his crossbow. " **AAAAAAAAAAARGH!** " The tip of the tentacle clapped him in the face, shattering the glass of his mask before the whole thing discarded him at high velocity. He soared across the room like a kingfisher and slammed into the wall so hard that he cracked it in some areas. The tube then turned around to face Link, who took a slash at it with his blade.

 **PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

The tentacles fluids quickly cooled down the sizzling sword, muting the sparks it produced. More of the water refused to obey physics and curled up into more tubular tentacles. They all drifted in the air like a kraken attacking a pirate ship.

"Navi, what is happening to all the water?" Link called to his fairy. "That beastly bayou is doing the bacchu-ber on me!"

"It's Morpha! It's a big, red nucleus that can manipulate water and it is using it to attack!"

"How do I beat it? Where even is it?"

"I can't see it!" Navi shouted. Link lifted his cap, emptying a pint of water down itself that had quite clearly got trapped under there. The fairy spluttered, spitting a geyser of water out of her mouth. "It's hiding away while it attacks us from a distance! We need to run and then we'll talk about taking it down!"

"You hover by the exit, I'll get Diver Dan over there!"

Navi seemed confused at the order, but she did as she was told. She weaved left and right of some of the tentacles like a plane flying through a canyon, making it to the other side and highlighting the door with her attention-grabbing yellow colour… or is she just scared? Anyway, Link went in the complete opposite direction to assist the frogman. "Hey! up and at 'em, diving man!" He pulled him up, scooped up his crossbow and made a mad dash towards Navi. "Follow that yellow light there!"

The diver said nothing as Link slashed apart the water tentacles, leaving plenty of room for them both to squeeze through and bisect the door Navi had found, almost getting her in the process. The two slipped over the second they crossed the threshold, finding themselves speeding downhill at a quick pace. The floor had slanted to the point where standing was no longer an option, especially with the rushing water below them. Luckily, this slide was wide and straight rather than round and twisty.

* * *

The two landed in a heap on the bottom of the temple. They pulled themselves up, surrounded by sky-high walls that had no visible ceiling. The path ahead forked off in two different directions.

"Ah, ta very much, mate!" panted the diver, adjusting his mask. He peeled part of it off so that the water that had gathered inside could leak out. "If it weren't for you, I'd be put through the wringer, that's for certain!"

"Do you know anything about this… Martha guy?" Link asked him, making no sudden movements. He strapped the crossbow to his back.

The diver frowned. "Martha? That your girl or summat?"

"No… Whatsisname. That thing that was making the water go crackers back there."

"Morpha?" suggested Navi

"Yes, that's the one! Is this the work of your team or was it here when you set up?"

"S'not any of our doing! Except… Clayton is our boss and he set up shop in the swimming pool of this temple!"

"A swimming pool? In the Water Temple?" Link whispered to Navi in confusion. "That would be like having a fireplace in the Fire Temple!"

"Yeah, precisely! Weird, right?" answered the diver, "The boss set up in there and… we've been getting reports that a big fat blob of flesh was seen swimming around in the water. I was put on surveillance out here as punishment because I said it was probably just his reflection."

Link beat back his laughter. "Where is this… swimming pool? We need to get to him and warn him about it before it's too late!"

"Through the labyrinth that lies ahead of us! Right at the very end! It's quite a pity that it's like trying to find your way out of bed on Monday!" The diver began to walk forwards. "If we fancy gettin' us and the boss out of here alive, we should go through this together. Just come with me and I'll show you the way to the swimming pool. Hopefully the boss didn't decide to take a dip!"

"Right." Navi said, showing herself once again. "Morpha would probably be quite angry!"

"Not what I had in mind! Have you SEEN his swimming cossie? Eugh!"

* * *

The two turned a corner and ran into yet another dead end, as they had been for the last few hours. Just like all the other dead ends, Link had to cut down three mutated workers that had been stationed to patrol the maze. This was the 43rd crawling mutant and the 54th scythe mutant that Link had felled. He had also taken out a few Water Wolfos along the way, some of which managed to scald him with hot water. The worst part about it was that several of the crawler mutants had loudly exhaled, so Link couldn't tell if one of them had poisoned him or not. One of the scythe mutants had managed to cut him across the arm and, admittedly, it was beginning to twinge annoyingly, despite it happening half an hour ago. Fifteen minutes after that, he had started to feel slightly nauseous so he switched to using the frogman's crossbow and harpoons so he could clumsily shoot the monsters from a distance.

"Link? You're burning up!" observed Navi, turning red hot as she felt his forehead, "You're sick! We should stop and rest!"

"Stop? Rest? Not when there's a dangerous monster in here! In fact, there are loads of them! There's one..."

 **TWANG!**

He quickly turned and fired a harpoon behind himself, nearly sniping the diver. Instead, it chopped the air in half as it went right over his ducking head and right into the face of an advancing mutant, who was sneaking up on him for a sucker punch.

"...behind you. Now, we want the deep end this time, not the dead end. where is this swimming pool?"

"Right… If I remember correctly, this corridor has a split in the 234253rd tile. There it is! You can see it up there!" The frogman looked up at a tile that was almost at the ceiling of the maze, which was very nearly invisible from its sheer distance from the two. Link couldn't see it no matter how hard he tried but there was a tiny crack in it. If you were to see it up close, you would think that one of your hairs had fallen out. "So that must mean that from here… the swimming pool is left, then right, straight on, right, right and then right again for good measure, down, left, loop the loop, up the next waterfall and then we're-"

"Enough! Are we in a normal temple or are we in a crazy rainforest?"

"If I had to take a guess, I'd say that it's the crazy rainforest. Now come on! Duty calls!"

Link threw his hands up as the guard turned on his flippers, almost tripped over on them and began flip-flopping down the tangle of corridors. This was going to be one long way to go.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"To get to the end of a maze, make sure your hand is always on the wall at the right hand-side and keep walking forward like that."_


	44. Defenestrated

Link and the diver walked round yet another corner. Link, who was beginning to sweat and pant more and more, was hoping, praying to every one of the three golden goddesses, that there were no monsters and the bumbling aquanaut had not led him into another dead end. He was beginning to question whether this guy was really trying to help him or if he was deliberately taking him on a wild goose chase to stall him. Maybe he was just feeling a bit seedy. After all, he got random strokes of dizziness and his forehead was beginning to feel like it was on fire.

Luckily, he started to cool down once he realised that the diver was not pulling a fast one. They finally stumbled upon a dead end with no monsters. Not only that, but the far wall had a pool ladder which went all the way up to a small alcove. It had round, metal stiles and white, thick rungs made of plastic.

"Here we are! The swimming pool, and by extension, my boss!" announced the diver. "Go up there if you want, and do what you need to do up there, whatever it is. I, on the other hand, can't go up there. If Clayton finds out I was cooperating with you, he'll mutantify me for sure!"

"He'll what?"

"He'll make a mutant out of me with that… that serum! That stuff is dangerous, I keep telling him, but all he sees is rewards, food, money and free stuff!"

Link wanted to react shocked, but what came out instead was a sick whine. "He's… I met him in the Ice Cavern! If Morpha manages to get to that serum, there'll be blood in the water! You go back to your post and I'll deal with the guy up there, all right?"

"Yeah, I understand. Make sure to warn him about Morpha because, if you're lucky, he'll be in a listening mood. If not… just do what you need to do to make him listen to you."

With that, the diver turned and sloped off back through the maze, leaving Link to face the ladder. He could do this kind of thing any day. He could do it with ease even as a child. However, it was going to be much harder after falling ill.

* * *

The ladder had to at least have about five dozen rungs. Just looking at where it went made Link feel physically sick, as did the poisonous breath from the crawling mutants. His left eye twitched from tiredness and his stomach felt like there was a storm going on inside.

"Link, you're definitely ill." Navi told him, "You need to take a break here, otherwise… who knows what could happen in there? You might pass out and then Morpha can do whatever it wants!"

"I can't stop now! Morpha is dangerous! It was probably what froze over Zora's Domain and if I let it hang around like this, the entire world will probably just turn into a giant snowball! I need to go up there and thrash it into froth before it freezes us all!" Link argued. He let out a burp of sour air before gripping at the thick rungs. He would have **killed** for a potion of some kind, but he had lent his bottle to Sheik so he could take some blue fire to King Zora.

The rungs were wet and slippery, as were the stiles, so Link began to think that this whole maze had been flooded at one point. How much water must that have needed? There must have been a worldwide water shortage until it went back outside somehow! Link's heart almost exploded a few times when he slipped from several dozen yards off the ground on both the wet rungs and the stiles and he almost chucked up at least three times but the terror of climbing this ladder was taking his mind off it pretty well. It was almost a shame when he got to the top because that meant he felt like hot rubbish again. A set of French doors allowed Link to see into the next room, the swimming pool.

It was really quite impressive. The water was so clear, Link couldn't even tell there was any in the first place. The floor of the pool was cyan, giving the illusion that the water was that colour as well. The walls were made of grey stone and the ceiling was red. A plastic desk faced the wall and a sturdy man sat with his sweaty back facing the French doors. Clayton.

 **TSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCTH!**

Link ran the Master Sword through the glass of the French doors with great force, bisecting them so he could neatly slide under them. The man on the desk turned around. He was the same man who Link had met in the Ice Caverns, only this time he was dressed in a tropical shirt, a pair of shorts and some flippers. To say his new look was rather silly was an understatement. He could have dressed as a clown and he would have looked like he was wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw by comparison. In fact, it looked like he was on holiday because he had a carved, wooden cup on his table with a little umbrella in it.

"You could have just knocked, you know!" the man mockingly complained, "And you're as white as a sheet, mate! You look like you've just seen a ghost!"

"I will see a ghost in a minute if you don't listen to me! That blob of flesh that was swimming about in the pool is Morpha and it is incredibly dangerous!"

"What? Pfft! It's probably just a chunk of meat that someone dropped in the pool years ago! Nothing to get worked up over!"

"No, seriously! It attacked us earlier on by bending the water into shapes! That thing will be the end of you if you're near water!"

"Water?" Clayton laughed uproariously, "Where in this room is there water? Point out one body of water in this dry-as-a-bone swimming pool… oh, right, yeah. Well, if you're serious, I have just the solution!" With that, he picked up his tiki cup and tilted it forwards to show Link the frothing, steaming liquid inside. "I have the rest of my serum in here! If that ugly sack of cells shows up here again, I'll drink it, get muscles on my muscles and-"

"Wait!" Link drew his new crossbow from his back and aimed it at Clayton's cup, ready to shoot it out of his hands. "Don't you know what that stuff does? You made it yourself! Whoever takes it transforms into a brainless monster!"

"Well, it's probably too late in that case!" whispered Navi to Link, who made the crossbow click.

Suddenly, Link heard the sound of water going down a drain. It came out of the fountain near the foreman's desk. Another tube of water was rising from the pump and was slowly straying closer to the honcho. "Hey! Behind you! There it is!"

The man scoffed in incredulity, just as the diver before him had done. "How am I meant to trust you when you're waving that thing at me? There's nothing behind me, is there?"

"No, it's after your serum!" Link shouted across the pool, "Drop it on the floor now!"

But it was too late. The tentacle clapped Clayton on the back of the head, wobbling his flesh like jelly and launching him to the side. " **AAARGH!** " he bellowed in a rather high pitched voice. Link watched in horror as the serum flew up and into the air, its cup spinning in circles like a propeller, red liquid spilling like wine and disappearing into the swimming pool. It spread like fresh blood, and the shark was lurking nearby. It was a large, red blob, about the size and shape of a football, surrounded by a light blue, round casing. Link and Navi were helpless to do anything about it as it swam around the red serum, absorbing it into itself as if it were its own blood.

Waves raved on the swimming pool's surface like a mosh pit. The nucleus inside of it rose and stretched erratically as the poison soaked into its membrane, infecting it, numbing its mind, powering it up.

The next event happened very slowly and creepily. First, four tubes of water rose from the pool, snapping physics completely in half.

Next, the tentacles transferred pints and pints of water into a big bubble, which the tentacles all connected to. Two red eyes peered out at Link, flashing like headlights. The whole thing looked like a great big jellyfish.

The Massive, Mindless Microbe of Monstrous Moisture.

 **MORPHA.**

* * *

"Now look what you've done!" Link shouted over at Clayton, who didn't seem to be too effected at his mishap.

"Don't worry!" he shouted over the top of Morpha's gurgling water. "If that serum really does make people mindless, Morpha here will be as dumb as a stone statue!" The jellyfish turned towards him and narrowed its flashing eyes. "N-n-not that I mean anything by that!" Morpha wasn't buying it. It raised one of its whip-like tendrils out of the water and thrashed it hard into Clayton's side, flinging him sideways.

 **CRASH!**

That was the last Link saw of him. The man was defenestrated, thrown out of the wall-sized window on the side. " **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!** " Triangles of broken glass poured all over the place.

Link was about to run and look out to see where he landed, but he had bigger problems. The monster's nucleus shifted into one of its lower tentacles, which rested itself on the pool's edge to try and ensnare Link. He stumbled away from it, feeling his illness creeping back to haunt him. "Navi!" he slurred, getting worse, "What am I meant to do? What's its weakness?"

"Its nucleus! Shoot its nucleus or something! It's in that tentacle there!"

"Great idea! My crossbow!"

Link pulled his crossbow off his back and pulled the trigger, getting thrown back as the harpoon that was loaded on it cut through the air like a ship through water. It sank into the tentacle, ripping through the water skin but completely bypassing the nucleus. Link groaned in frustration and tiredness before reaching behind himself to get another harpoon…

He felt nothing.

"That diver wasted all the harpoons on me!" Link hissed to Navi through gritted teeth. He chucked the crossbow into the water in frustration.

"Your Hookshot?" Navi recommended as Link dodged a swipe from one of Morpha's thinner tendrils. He followed through, heaving the machine out of his bag and pulling its lever, letting the hook fly into the arm and pull out Morpha from the inside. It sank into its membrane and then the nucleus itself, yanking it clean out of the tentacle and resulting in the hapless monster flopping on the floor like a fish that had been freshly caught.

Before it could escape, Link raised his foot and stomped it into the granite paving as hard as he could. Water flew everywhere. It was like he had just stepped on a high pressure water balloon. The monster emitted not a sound of defeat, nor even pain. It just lay there, flat as a pancake, with the imprint of a boot pressed into the top of it.

 **POP!**

Link was about to call it a day and ram the Master Sword down the cell and finish it off, but, just as quickly as it had compressed, Morpha reinflated completely and caught Link off guard. He was so ill and light headed that he didn't stomp it or stab it again. He just watched in confusion and dizziness as it dropped back into the pool, letting it take control of its jellyfish shape once more.

"Watch out!"

Link looked up just in time to see a thin tendril whip him into the air violently, constricting his waist like a snake. He struggled to escape, but he was feeling sick as it was and the monster squeezing his stomach like a tube of toothpaste wasn't working. He fought to keep his lunch down.

"Link!" Navi slammed her little body against the tubes, flashing like a disco ball. Her partner tried to free himself but Morpha kept its squeeze on him, almost compressing him inside out. "Let him go, you blasted blob of blood!"

Morpha wasn't going to follow any orders, especially while it was infected with the mutant serum. It hurled Link across the room, where he smashed out the full-length window and almost fell into the subterranean river below, but his quick reactions and the Hookshot allowed him to grapple to a large, metal tap that was feeding water into a tub. He hung above the crashing river below from the Hookshot, picking broken glass from his tunic and arms, fighting to keep from passing out. Instead, he retracted the chain and pulled himself back up into the swimming room.

Morpha awaited him. While Link had been hanging about, the monster had managed to create a current in the water to drag the empty crossbow from underwater and into one of its watery tendrils and it had loaded it with a straight line of water.

"This thing can use weapons?" Link stepped back in surprise, almost toppling right out the window again. "I thought that serum made it braindead!"

Morpha used its arms to squeeze the trigger and a blast of air fired the water bullet, peppering the window behind Link like a hole punch on paper. Being able to control water, Morpha had countless shots. All it had to do was transfer some of its arm into the ammo slit and just draw a tiny bit more from the pool to replace the losses. It fired that crossbow like it was a machine gun, making rather incomprehensible bullet hole drawings on the wall..

 **BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!**

More bullets of water pierced the tiled walls. Morpha was firing at a rate of knots and Link couldn't find any opening to stop running so he could fight back. In the end, he found the time and space to dive into the same tub he had used to save himself from falling. He heard Morpha's bullets thudding against the wall on the other side and then he saw it sneaking its crossbow over the top of the bath's wall to shoot him from above. He was able to dodge the painful rain just in the nick of time.

He dived out of the tub and rolled behind one of the diving boards, hoping that he was crouched just low enough so that Morpha could not shoot him over the top of it.

"How am I meant to kill that nucleus? It's too durable!"

"I don't know, Link. Take a look at it."

Link peeked up as slowly as possible so that Morpha couldn't William Tell his hat off his head or worse. He looked for any signs of change in its erratic movements, and it just seemed to have gotten more and more bouncy. The surface of the water it was using jiggled like jelly. Its crossbow was jolting left and right and its eyes were constantly flashing. Link took a look at the nucleus on the inside. It was flashing red, purple, green, yellow and blue and growing and shrinking furiously.

"I think the serum is beginning to wear off!" Navi said. She flashed red. "This is it, Link! Now is the time to use the Hookshot and finish this thing off!"

And so, Link leaped out from behind his cover and into the sight of Morpha's crossbow, Hookshot in hand. The spike reached in and skewered the red nucleus, heaving it straight from its jellyfish and right towards Link, who was letting the wash of tiredness from illness overtake him as he knew he had won. With one sweep of the Master Sword, he launched Morpha straight back towards its jellyfish monster. Even though the jellyfish was just water that had been fashioned into that shape, the intervertebral armour seemed to panic and it turned to escape, but Morpha, who was now glowing blue, slammed into it at full force.

The two of them smashed into the wall of the swimming pool and flattened as if they had just been run over by a tank. That was when the water seemed to turned corrosive. Morpha melted into a red, blood-like liquid while the water sizzled like eggs in a pan, staining the wall with a pretty pattern of a jellyfish. When not one trace of Morpha was visible, the congregation of water shattered and splattered to the floor in all directions, soaking Link.

All right, no more explosions! I'm fed up of getting my clothes cleaned every time a boss goes boom and blows up in my face! I got a lucky break with Phantom Ganon, but Volvagia left weird patterns in my eyes for weeks after she took a dip in the sun! So Morpha, do not explode!

…

…

…

Link took one look at Navi, white as a sheet. "I thought there was going to be a big-"

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

One more blast of water painted the entire room, washing Link to the floor and... giving my local launderette at least three more rounds of business. You know, when I said "don't explode", I didn't mean "substitute the fire with water"!

Link, on the other hand, quite liked it. He was hot, bothered and frazzled, so he welcomed all the water he could get. It may have been a little powerful, but that was a very minor drawback. It relaxed him to the point where he willingly lay down at the side of the pool, Navi deliberately not interfering, and fell asleep right then and there. The nice, refreshing scent of the pool drifted him off and curled the sides of his mouth up into a smile.

A smile of relaxation and a knowing smile that he would wake up in the Chamber of Sages and see his fiancée once more.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"This life is like a swimming pool. You dive into the water, but you can't see how deep it is."_


	45. Village Fire

"Well, look who it is! I didn't know it was possible to get beaten up by your own shadow, but the more you know."

Worrying about being sick all over the floor from sudden movements, Link catapulted himself up to confront whoever had just insulted him, but he felt different.

He felt refreshed. He felt like a person that had a blocked nose clear up within seconds. He felt like he had just knocked out a painful loose tooth.

He was cured! Maybe it was because he was back in the Chamber of Sages with the fresh smell and the cooling water, but still.

On the blue pedestal ahead of him was Princess Ruto, alive and well. Her back was turned to him and her fins were spread like a swan's wings. She turned to him and gave him a look that turned him redder than a tomato. It was enough to make him start sweating in stress.

"You, Monsieur, have saved my life." she crooned, "I expected nothing more, nothing less from the man I chose to be my husband."

Link pulled on his collar and cringed a bit. "Well… about that… there was a bit of a misunderstanding. Do you remember what that stone was supposed to do with the other two?"

Ruto didn't look the least bit miffed. In fact, she looked like she knew it all along. "Oui. That stone was meant for you to open the Door of Time. I knew it ever since you left our domain. Still, you saved me and that is what a true partner would do."

"I didn't save you, did I? You weren't in the swimming pool when I found Morpha."

"Do you remember our first meeting?" Ruto asked, changing the subject.

"It… stank. Literally."

"And figuratively." The Zora Princess held back a laugh. "I was a right morveuse until I met you!"

Link looked around for Navi. "Well, lets wash that away, shall we? You're evidently not a… moose any more, or whatever you said."

"Pardon my French, sir, I cannot help myself! You had something back then that I never dreamed of having. Altruism, and no, that is not another French word. You risked being digested to save me, and therefore, the world."

" _Well, I tried with that second one."_

"Thanks to your bravery and selflessness, Zora's Domain and Lake Hylia may return to their normal states, but the former may need some time to recover. Therefore… I grant you..."

Link smiled in anticipation of the medallion Ruto was about to summon and possibly clonk him on the noggin with. He looked up and raised his hands to catch it…

"...my everlasting love!"

Those three words managed to hit Link harder than any medallion ever could. His face turned as blue as his tunic and his legs almost gave away like matchsticks.

"Hah! One more joke from me!" cackled Ruto, slapping her knee like a stand-up comedian, "That is, truthfully, what I would like to say, but we're going to have to compromise on that, aren't we? I must stay here and make sure everything in the Water Temple stays in order. I will have to make do with giving you what I'm sure you were expecting in the first place."

Ruto reached down and dipped her finger into the rippling water that was flowing off the edge of the platform. She kept them in there for a few seconds, moving her arm about to try and find whatever she was looking for as if she were fishing. When she felt something, she dredged it from the floor and let the water drip from it by holding it sideways. It was a dark blue, shiny disk with patterned, elevated rims. The middle had the image of six droplets of water, falling in a gravitational circle. Like it was a £2 coin, she flipped it over to Link who stumbled under its weight.

"If you see that guy who calls himself 'Sheik', tell him I said thanks for carving me out of the waterfall, OK?"

"Will do."

Link saw this one coming a mile off. He began to rise on a platform of water, away from Ruto and out of the Chamber of Sages, which didn't surprise him in the slightest.

"Don't give up, Link. You will find her! You will!"

"I will! Yes, I- Wait, how did you know about all that? Stop the-"

 **SPLOOOOOSH!**

* * *

" **JUST HOW MANY MONSTERS DO I HAVE TO THROW AT THAT LITTLE WRETCH BEFORE HE GETS THE MESSAGE?** " Ganondorf pitched his pitcher of wine across the room, where it shattered against a coffin with an interior lined with spikes. Sheik, back in his black outfit with an upturned Sheikah eye, raised his fingers and began counting under his breath.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven… Eight, so far, my King. There was that spider, the dinosaur, the virus, the giant monkey, that clone of yourself, that dancing brawler, the dragon and now the amoeba."

" **I didn't ask for a recap! I asked how many more monsters I will need to get before he falls!** "

"By my calculations, sire, no amount of monsters you can make from that book will be enough to stop him."

Ganondorf stomped to his feet, the impact making Sheik buckle. " **So, what you're saying… is that I must look for a monster elsewhere, correct?** "

"You might have luck with that, but I don't think any monsters that can just be found in the field are going to be any more powerful than what you can make from that book."

" **EXCEPT… What about the one that was sealed in the well?** "

Sheik flinched and gasped. He had not expected Ganondorf to know of that dreaded fiend. "Which one? Which well?"

" **I have heard that an almighty monster was sealed underneath the well at Kakariko Village. If I can break it out, it will bring a sure, swift end to this hero and I have just the way to cut through its bars! I can finally break Ħaffer out! His claws can cut through anything!** "His pulsing eyes turned to Sheik. " **You. Get to Kakariko Village and join the assault now while I send my monster over to assist! Now!** "

"Y-yes. Right now, right away." Sheik began to sweat buckets. Turning away so that Ganondorf would not notice his wet forehead, he sprinted over to the stained glass window, slid it up and dived out. As he fell, he reached back up and closed his fingers around the windowsill so he could listen in on what Ganondorf was about to do.

" **Ħaffer! ĦAFFER! Dig your way up here right now, you helmet head!** "

 **WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

The sound of a dentist drill almost cut off Sheik's ears. He fought to avoid taking his hands off the windowsill to block them.

 **CRASH!**

Shreds of red carpet and stone showered the room, which Ganondorf shooed out the window. Sheik was now battling not to wave all the debris out of his face and eyes. He pulled his face up just into view so he could see what was going on.

In front of Ganondorf and behind a very large hole in the ground stood a very large mole which seemed slightly cybernetic. It had dark grey fur with a cream coloured underbelly. Its metal paws, which were fitted with sharp, bronze claws caught Sheik's attention. They looked sharp enough to dig through anything and durable enough to survive digging to the other side of the earth.

" _What is that?"_ thought the ninja, _"Is it mechanical or organic?"_

The mole had a small, fluffy tail that shook like an excited dog, but its most distinguishing mod con was a visor that covered its entire face. A little line that shone purple allowed it to see, but that wasn't all it was good for. A sharp, pointy drill was welded to it, which it could activate and deactivate at will. This allowed it to drill through thick ground faster than Usain Bolt could run.

" **Ħaffer, tunnel over to Kakariko and pillage that village, will you? There's a powerful ally there that is trapped under the well and-** " Ganondorf looked at the window Sheik had jumped out of, having felt a chill from it on his neck. The agent quickly withdrew his head out of sight and hung loose. " **That boy always leaves the window open! Next time he does that, his neck can meet my blade!** " With that, he marched over and slammed the window down, almost cracking the glass.

Unfortunately, he accidentally caught Sheik's fingers underneath it.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!** "

Ħaffer's visor slit flashed. " **Sound of unknown source detected.** " he droned. Ganondorf shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

" **Ravens. They live around here. Now get to work!** "

" **IMMEDIATELY** **.** "

Ħaffer bounced into the air and dived into the ground like it was made of water. All the same, he probably should have checked he was on the bottom floor first.

 **BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

The mole fell through the air, smashing through every floor in the building. Ganondorf ran over and watched him finally hit the ground floor and start digging horizontally. " **I hope that messy monster puts a big dent in that boy's plans, just as he has with my castle!** "

* * *

A drummer pounded away at his wooded kit.

A guitarist ran his fingers up and down his acoustic instrument.

A singer trilled through an amplification tube.

This was all going down in the The Thirsty Ferret pub at Kakariko Village. A local band had come in to perform for the patrons, not that they seemed all that interested. They just sat at the tables and the counter, drinking and eating. The vibration from the band was so powerful that it was shaking all the plates and glasses. Beer was spilling everywhere.

"I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole..."

The patrons had stopped watching the performance because that was all the singer would chant over and over again in a very cybernetic voice. Additionally, the words 'mole' and 'hole' were accompanied by earthshaking hits of the bass drum that shook the whole pub.

"I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole! **I am a mole, and I live in a hole!** "

Naturally, the customers were all getting a little frustrated with the constant thumping and droning. They were not being as respectful to the bartender as he was used to.

"Oi, Damon! I'll 'ave a mess o' noodles! An' step on it!" shouted one of the men, smashing his fist on the table almost as hard as the drummer's foot on the bass drum.

Damon the bartender grumbled and turned to head into the kitchen. "I'd like to!" he muttered, out of earshot.

" **I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole!** "

"BELT UP, YOU MUSICAL MUTTONHEADS!" screamed the man at the band. "Don't you have any other tunes that aren't just the same words over and over again?"

"We haven't been playing for a minute now, sir!" argued the singer. Now that the unruly man had bothered to look at the band, he could see that he was correct. The singer's mouth was zipped shut and the drummer had stood up, yet the pounding and chanting continued.

" **I AM A MOLE, AND I LIVE IN A HOLE! I AM A MOLE, AND I LIVE IN A HOLE!** "

 **BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

"If it isn't you lot making that 'orrible racket, then who is it?"

The grating sound of a drill going off filled the pub. It was so hideous that a man's pint shattered instantly from the noise alone, spilling beer everywhere.

 **DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

All the patrons saw a ball of dark grey fur rise from the floor and start crashing in a circle through the floor, its back sticking up like a shark in water. An elderly couple leaped out of the way as the digger ploughed straight through their table, scattering salt and pepper all over the place. Within seconds, the mole monster had dug in a straight circle around the entire pub.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

Gravity dragged the floor down into a pit. The mole had dug straight through the foundations, sending everyone crashing onto the earth below. Everything. The people, the tables, the band, the instruments, the counter and, most devastatingly, the kitchen. The burning brick oven full of noodles didn't like that one bit.

* * *

Link woke against the same tree he had been leaning against on his arrival to Lake Hylia, back in his Kokiri tunic. He could hear the sound of rushing water in his ears, just as he had when he arrived. This time, though, it was the lake refilling rather than thunderous rain The Water Temple was spitting all of its water back out and into the lake, filling it all the way back up to the point where it began splashing onto Link's island. The sun climbed to the peak of the skies, which was disturbed by no clouds. Best of all?

Link was still not sick. Another smile found its way to his lips.

"As the water rises, so does your promise, young hero. You were victorious, as always."

Sheik sat at the river's edge, the bandages on his fingers thicker than usual, gripping a fishing rod and wearing his normal, indigo outfit. He sat on the bank, peering into the depths to try and see any potential catches. When he was sure he could leave the rod alone, he stood and approached Link.

"Sheik! I'm glad to see you, sir!" Link saluted the Sheikah. "Ruto wanted to thank you for breaking her out of Zora's Domain!"

Sheik stepped back. "She wanted to thank me? I see. We have to return peace to Hyrule for her sake as well, don't we?" He waved over to the sparkling water and the little waves lapping at the grass. "Look over there, Link. Once again, the lake is filled with pristine, pure water."

And so, Link stepped in front of Sheik to observe the deep lake. It was lovely. Mesmerising, in fact. It was like looking in a carnival mirror. "It's wonderful, isn't it, Navi?"

Navi flew from Link's cap, making sure to fly to a point where she wouldn't get licked up by a little wave. "I feel so much better already! What about you, Sheik?" She looked up beside Link at Sheik, but she gasped when she saw none of him. Not even his fishing gear remained. "He's slung his hook again! Every time! Is a 'goodbye' too much to ask for?"

But Link knew he wasn't gone. He could see a shape perched on top of a tree. For a moment, he thought it was Kaepora Gaebora, who he was admittedly missing seeing. He watched as the nimble ninja above him leaped lithely from his perch and vanished into the water, producing nothing more than a little plop.

Navi sniffed the air around her. Not because it was nice, but because she caught a stale whiff of something and it had made her a little worried. It was a familiar smell. It was a rich, oaky smell of a bonfire really far away, but the dark cloud of smoke in the distance was miles too big to be from a measly wood fire.

"Link… look over there! I think something's just caught fire!" she told her partner. She turned a vanilla colour combined with orange with dreading concern. Link didn't respond or panic, just like a professional emergency worker. Instead, he pulled out the Ocarina of Time and played the song he knew Epona liked. Then, he began to run across the bridge and back to the mainland, whistling away throughout the whole journey to attract his horse.

* * *

" **I AM A MOLE, AND I LIVE IN A HOLE! I AM A MOLE, AND I LIVE IN A HOLE!** "

Sheik stared into the pit of the well as the mole monster spread chaos across the village like butter across bread. It dolphin jumped out of the ground and back in, chasing men and women up trees and out of buildings, which collapsed behind them. A lung-squeezing stench of smoke and fire covered every inch of the village from an oven fire turned pit fire turned village fire.

Sheik was well aware of the crowd of mothers, fathers and children behind him, many of which watching their homes flatten like a burning accordion as the mole dug under the foundations, still doing that infernal chant.

"A dozen dead, nine wounded..." Sheik murmured. His dark red and orange camouflage with black areas protected him from the blistering heat of the fire. He wanted to turn around and take out the mole monster. He wanted to turn around and help everyone out, but he had to keep his eyes firmly on the dry well. He just could not let the monster in there get away otherwise it would spell certain death for everyone.

Sheik tried his best to filter out the sounds of crying children and screaming civilians, but the whinny of a mare and the pounding of hooves made him turn and draw his single-edged blade. Link dismounted and approached him, looking at the rumbling bricks of the well. "Stay back, Link!" he commanded, breathing heavily. This was an emotion Link had never seen from the stoic ninja before.

Every other time they had met, he had exhibited hardly any emotions. They hid in the surroundings, just like him. This was the most animated Link had ever seen him, and this was because he was… scared.

"Why?" Link asked in an equal tone. Sheik stepped onto the lip of the well.

"No time for questions! Just step back or the-"

 **DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

A drill screamed in the throat of the well, steadily cracking the wall near the floor. Sheik leaped off as the entire structure caved in and an oversized, half-cyber mole shot up from the remains. Following him was a black shadow. Link could not make out the true form of it or its attacks. One moment he was watching it glide through the air and the next, he had been blasted sideways and into the wreckage of a blacksmith shop.

 **CRAAAAASH!**

This left Sheik to fight the mole himself. As all the townsfolk fled in dread, he readied himself, blade at the ready.

" **You are an obstruction.** " The mole's mask flashed as it spoke. " **Obstructions must be removed.** **I assume you understand.** "

Sheik assumed a battle stance, tracing the blunt, round edge of his blade across his neck and then pointing it ahead of him. "Oh, I understand, sunshine. That's why you're going down right here, right now."

The mole launched himself at Sheik with a tinny grunt. " **HUH!** "

"Everyone, run!" Sheik ordered to the citizens. He then locked blades with the monster as the whole population of Kakariko Village ran for their lives, screaming out the gate and down the cracked steps, into Hyrule Field.

The mole's metallic gloves scratched against Sheik's single blade, with the monster shouting with effort from every hit.

" **HUH! HAH! HAH! HUH!** "

The monstrous mammal's power escorted Sheik back against the blackened tree that stood in the centre of the path to and from the village. As he reeled his paw back once again, Sheik leaped and found the high ground from the tree's top branch, leaving the mole's brass claws to slam into the burned bark. Sheik took this opportunity to throw a storm of needles at him. They were slim, almost invisible. They dug into the mole's fur and skin, but this only angered him. He roared a giant, echoing scream before lifting the tree right from the ground with a **SNAP** of roots and launching it across the town, into the blacksmith's shop.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

* * *

"How is he looking, Sheik?"

"He inhaled a lot of smoke earlier on and that's resulted in a bit of lung inflamation, but other than that he has a few bruises and burns."

Link woke to the tap dancing of rain extinguishing the rest of the fire in the village, thanks to Nayru's benevolence. He also heard Navi and Sheik's voices and he felt the ring of a jug against his lips for a drink of water. He let the moisture cool down and douse the burning parts of his throat and he savoured the cool rain on his face.

"You are very lucky. Neither of those monsters couldn't find you in the wreckage of the blacksmith."

Link blinked at the shinobi, taking note of the burned patches and tears in his clothes. "What happened to you?"

"One of the monsters proved too strong for me, but I achieved Jikosaisei in the time you were out." replied Sheik. He handed Link the jug of water for him to drink at his leisure. "You were just defeated by a dangerous monster from decades ago. Do you remember being told about the war that brought an end to both of your parents?"

Link winced. Navi looked like she wanted to step in and tell off Sheik, but she controlled herself. "I wish I didn't."

"During the war, the spies of the army your parents were allied with discovered that the enemy forces were about to release a devastating enemy into Kakariko Village. Luckily, my people came to the rescue and sealed it under the well. Until Ħaffer the mole monster came along and finished off our seal, its prison kept it detained. Now, the beast of the shadows has fled to the Shadow Temple!"

"Do you have a plan?" Navi asked. She turned a plotting grey. "How do I get to this temple?"

"I can tell you how to get there but, for your own safety, you must fulfil one prerequisite before I teach you the song. Meet me in the Temple of Time. Make sure you are not followed, please."

"But… Castle Town is in ruins!" stated Link, "What about the Temple of Time? Surely, since I left it, it would have fallen down!"

Sheik began to shift backwards in a movement that looked like he was walking forwards, disorienting Link slightly. "The Temple of Time cannot be toppled so easily."

"Wait!" Link got his bearings and leaped after Sheik but he disappeared in a splash of fire, resulting in Link landing and almost tripping over. "Don't leave me alone!"

Navi smiled slightly and landed on his knee. "Link, you have me. You're never alone. I'm never alone."

"We'd better do as he says. At the very least, we'll see him again and we can ask him any more questions we have."

Link found Epona, sheltered at the non-flammable entrance to the village and had her gently canter down the steps and into Hyrule Field. Smoke still towered in the sky. There was so much of it that it completely swept midday under the rug, making it look like AM was now PM.

Still, Epona did a flying jump over the river and towards the ruined Castle Town, where the clean, pure Temple of Time lay. Link was relieved to see the spire of it poking upwards in the distance among the broken support beams and obliterated buildings, as Sheik's plan could be officially put into action.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Signs of a poorly understood but treatable house fire requires action, not inaction._ _"_


	46. Back To The Past

"Destiny… **Destiny...** "

An old, forgotten mummy crept across Hyrule Field, shrouded by the smoke from Kakariko's fire. He held a curved claw like a knife that looked like it had been severed from the bottom. His almost insensible brain was overheating with only one command. That was to kill the Hero. He was covered in worn bandages and cobwebs from his years of staying still as a dead body in the wreckage in Castle Town.

This monster was known as The Augured.

"Destiny… **DESTINY...** "

He had been chasing after the Hero ever since he left the Temple of Time but he was slower than a snail through treacle, so in the time it had taken him to free three sages, he had only managed to get slightly across Hyrule Field.

He was beginning to think his mission was worthless, if he was able to even think, that is, until he heard loud, galloping hooves in front of him.

"Fate… **Fate! FATE!** "

but the rider zoomed past him before he could even raise his scythe, which had been laying by him as he woke up after his seven year demise.

Not able to change his expression at risk of breaking all the bones in his face, he watched as the horseman vaulted his horse over the broken drawbridge and sprinted into Castle Town.

* * *

"Epona, stay here for a minute. I'll be back in a bit. I need to pop in here and meet with Sheik again, all right?" Link said as he dismounted his steed. He stroked down her nose and dumped some more ranch food on the floor for her.

The Temple of Time loomed over him, exactly as he had left it. Despite its importance against Ganondorf, he had not targeted it at all. In fact, it suffered no smoke damage from the destruction of Castle Town. None. The trees in the garden were naked and charred, so something had obviously happened in the immediate area but, as Sheik had said, the Temple of Time was not falling so easily.

"If we go in and the whole inside looks like a tornado just swept through it, I am going to flip!" Navi said, not believing the peaceful looking exterior. "Never judge a book by its cover."

"Sheik told us to meet him here. If he said that this place doesn't go down that easily, it must be in perfect condition." Link reassured. He squeaked open the giant, polished wood doors to the temple and stepped inside, relieved to step on smooth, reflective marble instead of bare rock. The floor was still so shiny that he could see his whole reflection in it, clear as day. The giant chandelier still hung from the ceiling, carrying a dozen burning candles. The pews were still satisfyingly straight and parallel, the giant stone tablet kept the three Spiritual Stones safe, the Door of Time remained open and the Pedestal of Time was wholly intact. Even though it didn't hold the Master Sword any more, there was something tall and slender protruding from the top.

"Sheik!" Link did a running vault over the tablet and into the darker tablet. The shape moved slightly, crouching down before expertly bowling himself overhead to land behind Link.

"You have destroyed many evil monsters that haunted three of the temples and awakened the sages of them. Still, there are two for you to tackle now, and to face them, you must have constant access to this temple… and your childhood."

"After all he's been through his childhood's probably more shattered than the monsters he's already beaten!" Navi pointed out. "Wait, what did you say?"

Sheik gestured towards the Pedestal of Time, wriggling his fingers. "Plant the Master Sword back into its pedestal to return to your home. Your home timeline, your home body. Furthermore, in order to go straight to this temple from anywhere at all, learn and play the Prelude of Light."

Sheik raised her golden harp, magnetising Link to his Ocarina. For seconds, they played a heavenly, airy song of praise. It didn't take very long because Link was absolutely starstruck at the prospect of being able to finally go home. The song was imprinted in his breath in mere seconds to the point where Sheik actually hesitated with a surprised look on his face before putting his harp away. "Impressive. I take it you're eager to return to your true form."

"Yeah, certainly! I never thought I'd say this, but… I'm beginning to miss being a child."

Sheik shook his head. "I trust that you will not abandon the future, will you?"

"No, no I won't! I can… You can trust me! I'll come back once… what do I have to do?"

"Your mission is to go back to Kakariko Village in the past, and then go through the catacombs underneath the well to retrieve an all-seeing item." Sheik explained. He struck dynamic poses as she spoke to illustrate his plan. "Only then can you take on the monster that took you down earlier. Do you remember when you gave me your bottle full of Blue Fire to thaw out King Zora?" Link nodded, lowering one side of his face. Sheik pulled something from her ninja pouch. "After I reached him, I filled it up with a Hyper Potion. Drink it when you're feeling tired in a fight to take your enemies by surprise."

Link took the scratched bottle and looked at the liquid on the inside. It was fizzing and frothing like a soft drink. In fact, it was an opaque blue colour like what runners would drink just before doing a hundred meters. _"_ _If I run with this and then it sprays in my face I am not going to be happy."_ he rolled his eyes as he pocketed the bottle. "Thank you, Sheik. I won't let you down, sir!"

"Remember the plan. Remember to come back here. One more thing." Sheik said cautiously. He didn't even need a Deku Nut to pull a Houdini this time as he just backed into the shadows of the dark chamber, vanishing from sight like most of Link's old friends. Before he went completely, Link heard his fading voice. "Just be aware that when you return the Master Sword, anything in the chamber will be taken to the past with you. Make sure you are not followed."

His eagerness causing him to ignore the rumbling noise behind him and the slight earthquake, Link took the Master Sword out, the buzzing blade droning as he turned it upside down, and prepared to replace it. "Navi, are you ready?"

"Of course! After you, Link!"

 **BOOM!**

The legendary blade met the bottom of its base for the second time in its life. The blue matter that powered it slid off the edges of the metal, zooming through the entire platform Link was standing on and coursing through it like blood through veins. It then shot upwards from the edges and formed a protective circle around the hero, making sure all he could see was blue fire speeding past him. Several different colours flared on his eyes as light blinded him, which stung, but he did not care.

For he was about to go back to the past.

* * *

The boy blinked rapidly like a camera shutter and turned like a table as he tried to comprehend where he was. The dancing lines in his eyes flickered on and off as his little eyes adjusted to the bright light burning into them. Then he saw the sword.

What used to comfortably fit in one hand was now almost as tall as him and was reflecting light off of the stained glass window above, which was giving a view of neon blue skies, not one cloud spoiling the colour.

"Did it work?" The boy asked before jumping at his high voice. He grasped at his throat as if choking, but he noticed something else when he saw his hands. They were no longer bound by gauntlets. Dumbstruck, he looked down at his legs. They were bare once again and his boots were now wrinkled and sagging, just like they were…

"Seven years ago..." he gibbered. He looked up at the spinning ball of light that circled him. "Navi, we did it! We're back in the present!"

"Yes!" Navi whooped in return. "Yes! We're back home! We're home! We're…" The fairy suddenly froze up in midair, almost dropping to the floor. "in trouble. Look behind you!"

"Who is it? Did Sheik not disappear or..." Link turned around to the entrance of the chamber of the Master Sword, greeted with the smell of fresh earth. He locked eyes with a giant, brown pile surrounding a deep hole. "...someone had an accident in here. Great, what am I facing now, the creature from the black latrine?"

"Link! That's disgusting!" Navi hissed, turning frustratedly red. "This is earth and soil! Something dug into here while you replaced the Master Sword and now we've just taken it to the past!"

"And we've just bought it back to the better… BUM! It's going to make the present even worse than the future! I'm chasing it down that tunnel!"

"Don't do that!" Navi squeaked, "It's a tunnel that presumably has no supports! If you go in there it will all fall on you!"

Link scratched his chin, which was now completely smooth and lacked hair of any kind. "That's a point. I don't quite fancy being smothered in dirt… Fine, I'll go the long way."

And so, he trotted out of the chamber, walked around the stone tablet and in between the sets of pews, taking a good look at his reflection in the shiny floor below him, relishing in the fact that he was young again.

A few times in his youth, he contemplated growing up and actually thought it sounded good for a while until he actually made the transition. Sure, he was faster and stronger and could hold more stuff as an adult, but he couldn't use his slingshot or boomerang because they were too small for his hands. Plus, the whole "dystopian future" thing and "having to say goodbye to old friends forever" whatsit was something he would have gone above and beyond the call of duty to avoid having to do.

Something brown on his back caught his reflection. He whipped around and looked at his reflection again, which had its back decorated with a wooden plate. He had come out just as he had gone in, his Kokiri Sword on his back and the Deku Shield in his hand. Better than being weighed to the ground by a Hylian Shield any day. He was so caught up in looking at his true form that he was completely taken aback when he opened the big doors and saw…

completely the opposite of what there should have been.

Kamakuma's roaring rampage had left bodies and bodies in its wake. Buildings had been cut down to size, the fountain had been spraying wildly into the air from what was left of it, fire was all over the place, a dead soldier had rested near the shattered glass of the first aid kit, the sky was dark red and forebodingly coloured…

...now it looked like the Great Fairy of Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows had come along and waved her wand on the destruction to reverse it all and turn it into a festival.

No, seriously. There was a festival in town and all the buildings were in perfect condition. Streamers and confetti went flying, balloons rose into the air like birds, people were dancing to blasting music from a nearby band and there were dozens and dozens of stands stretching across the market, flogging food. Buns, cakes, sandwiches, deep fried butter on a stick… I'll let you guess which one had the least customers.

Link and Navi both silently wondered down the steps from the garden and into the colourful party pit. Only when he was in the middle of it all did he stop an abundant woman holding three entire trays of fairy cakes, one of them balancing precariously on her head like a tightrope walker. "Excuse me, miss? What is all of this celebrating? What are we partying about?"

The lady looked down at him, crumbs dripping from her fat, red lips before clearing her throat. "Celebrating? Well, we are and we aren't. Every day here is a party in the Market! Every day!"

Link and Navi looked at each other, surprised to see anything but destruction in the old market. "Was there any stories about… a mad monkey marching around, mashing anything he could find?"

The lady leaned back, dropping a custard pie from her tray which hit Link clean in the face.

 **SPLAT!**

"I say, are you playing a game? There hasn't been any conflict of any kind here for years now! Why do you ask?"

Link's face went purple as a plum and his eye twitched. "N-never mind! I'm off! Later!" And so, he took off down the road, the custard pie still firmly planted in his face like bird excrement on a windscreen. He didn't care that he couldn't see, he just needed to see if the rest of Hyrule's damage was undone.

Actually, maybe he did care about seeing. His blindness to his surroundings tripped him up as stumbled on the lip of the fountain and toppled into the water, staining part of it yellow with custard.

 **SPLAAAASH!**

Link surfaced, hair in his eyes, to Navi laughing like a monkey. "HA, HA HA HA HA! Link, what was that? Do you not believe what you see? You're going to catch a cold in there!"

The boy felt hundreds of eyes watching him like a TV screen as he brushed his waterlogged, golden locks from his eyes. He yanked the foil pie dish from his face, gently put it in the bin beside him and clambered back out of the fountain, shivering from the cold. "Sorry, bit excited. You know what it's like. I mean, I haven't been my true age for ages now!"

"I understand, but be careful! You may be younger and faster, but that doesn't mean you're invincible! If you're not careful, you'll fall to the flu!"

The fairy had a point. For all Link knew, it was still winter in Hyrule and he was only wearing a short-sleever and a knee-high tunic. Link fought off a shiver and shook his head about. "Right. Serious. Got you. Kakariko Village, right?"

"There we go! That's the spirit!"

* * *

It was a short but enjoyable trip from Hyrule Castle to Kakariko Village, despite the cold weather combined with the fountain incident from earlier making Link feel like his tunic was about to freeze in place. Just before disappearing up the steps into Kakariko Village, Link took one look over at the market, which was still covered in streamers. The old citadel looked like… nothing had ever happened to it. He could still hear the thumping music. He could still see smartly dressed ladies pouring out across the drawbridge to go back home. Once again, it looked like Kamakuma had never set foot in it.

"Navi?" Link asked his fairy. She turned to him.

"Yes?"

"Do you think we were possibly sent back in time… before Ganondorf attacked Hyrule?"

Navi shrugged her wings. "Could be. I mean, no one recovers from an attack like what it got that fast. We must have!"

Link approached the town gates, the stiff but satisfying village smell treating his nose. At the very end of the town, he could hear the windmill's blades. He could hear talking. He could hear children playing. He could hear everything he couldn't hear there in the future. As he passed the threshold, he noticed that what was the potion shop last time he checked had reverted back to The World's End. To solve everything once and for all, he leaned into a bin and pulled out a crumpled old newspaper that stank of tea.

Other than the giant headline about a man who fried an egg on his bald spot and the other one about a woman in a doughnut costume who punched her ex-husband in a pub after he waved at another woman dressed as a painting, Link was attracted to the date in the top left corner.

 _ **December 12th, 1665**_

"Oh, goodness! Navi, I think we've definitely gone back before Ganondorf started wrecking stuff up! This is the date before when I pulled the Master Sword!"

"That's good, we have a bit of time to fulfil Sheik's wish before he starts everything back up again!" Navi replied. A shuffling peeped from the town tree, making Link briefly turn to face it, but he quickly passed it off as a squirrel or a bird of some kind. "Sheik said we need to go under the well, and that's in front of the windmill. The only question is, how will we get down?"

"Well, we can forget about swimming!" Link replied, walking up a ramp and past The World's End, "I've already had enough of that today! And if the water's as deep as it should be, I can't hold my breath for that long or I'll croak."

"You'll turn into a frog?"

"No, I'll die! Look, there's the well over there!" Link took Navi by surprise with a swift run to the water hole, making her turn neon green and quickly catch up.

The well was a simple square of bricks with a triangular, wooden ceiling hanging above it. A bucket swayed from a rope, filled with moss. The well wasn't much better. The water was so murky that it made the well look like it went down forever and ever. Strands of bryophyte danced in the dirty depths, taunting Link where he couldn't get them.

"You couldn't pay me to swim down there!" Link waved his arm towards the water. "I'm not a seal, you see! That Zora Tunic would probably fit me as easily as a mouse would fit a tea cosy!"

Suddenly, a pair of feet clacked onto the roof of the well. Link didn't have time to look up before the bucket plunged into the icy abyss, soaking Link with water. He yelped as water made his hair attack his eyes again and brushed them clean and when he did so, he noticed something about the windmill that definitely wasn't there before. The door was ajar and swinging in the breeze.

"Navi? I think I just got me an idea!"

* * *

"Hey, you! Ninja person! You forgot to shut the door! You forgot to shut the- Oh, never mind, I'm supposed to be positive! Go around! Go around! Go around!"

The giant skeleton of the windmill heaved and groaned in circles, repulsed by its owner's awful grinder organ. The giant, revolving megaphone that protruded from it barely missed punching his bald, shiny head with every revolution. Even his instrument didn't like his putrid playing! "Oh, what's the use? I can't think of anything! Composing music can be hard, but I'd never thought it would drive me up the wall like this!"

Link had recognised the man as the guy who taught him the Song of Storms since he had went in through the open door and seen his grinder organ and light green shirt. Within seconds, he had ridden the spinning, wooden platform around to the man and dismounted nearby.

This plan was highly unethical…

…but it was his only chance. Link cleared his little throat. "Um, sir?"

The man looked down at him. "Who are you? What have you got that Ocarina for?"

"Don't mind me… I just heard you talking about how you were struggling to come up with a song." Link started. He raised his shaking hands up, still fighting his morals. "I have just the one for you."

"Ooh! Yippee! A new song! Lets hear it! Lets hear it!" The man put his hands on his grinder organ to start playing after Link. The boy looked nervously at the man who, if he put on a tuxedo with black trousers and shoes and stood against a black curtain, would look like a giant boiled egg floating through the air, and started to play.

The Song of Storms.

As Link played the song with increasing pace, clouds muffled the sun and darkened the village before unleashing their bombs on the world. I can already see some of the effects. My parents just went running inside from the pool, my dad just fell in, my dog is soaked, my chickens are getting soaked, the wind is picking up… Is that a cow flying through the air over there?

Well, that's not important, I suppose. Link kept going and going and going, the platform that spun the windmill blades speeding up with him as if it were doing some crazy dance. It even seemed to do something else outside because, through the hammering rain, Link heard the sound of pipes slurping.

" **OH, NO!** " cried the busker. He took his hand off the crankshaft on his instrument, which was now whirling around wildly with a mind of its own. "What did you do? The windmill! It's going far too fast! I can't control it! It's raining!"

Remembering his last encounter with this man, or future encounter, depending on how you look at it, Link began to make his escape, climbing over barrels and ropes to avoid having to step onto the mach 10 platform and consequently getting highland flung into the wall. When he reached the door again, he cracked it open and stepped out into the drenched settlement.

* * *

The storm had only lasted a few seconds at most, but Kakariko Village looked like it had been underwater for centuries. Houses released walls of water from under their eaves as their inhabitants took a few tentative steps outside to see if the flash storm was really the new fastest thing alive, a few even holding their hands out. Giant puddles were littered across the grass like holes in Swiss cheese. The only thing that looked remotely different was the well.

It had no water. Not a drop. Not even the slightest smidgen of the stuff. It was as dry as a desert.

"Well then..." Navi chimed in awkwardly, turning grey as her partner climbed the fence and walked to the well to look inside. "...that explains what happened in the future… I think…"

"The catacombs must be down the well. Sheik said that the item we need to find is 'all-seeing'. What do you think we should look for?"

"Glasses?" Navi suggested. Link shook his head.

"No, people probably lost their glasses down here before it got drained."

"A crystal ball?"

"Could be. After all, not too far-fetched, considering the fact that the Hookshot exists."

Navi began to drift down the tunnel to light up Link's path. "There are some bricks in here that were put in a bit further back!" she called up, "You can use these as holds!"

"I'm coming down! It will probably be safer down there when everyone discovers that I drained the well."

Taking two anxious glances around him, the boy vaulted the lips of the well, grabbed hold of two rough gaps in the wall and slowly began to abseil into the well's belly.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Storms draw something out of us that calm seas don't._ _"_


	47. Eldritch Abomination

Climbing down an old well was something Link never thought he'd ever do in his life. However, the boy had just found himself doing just that, following his fairy into who knows what, her ghostly glow alerting him to where all the gaps in the wall lay for him to hold on to. Climbing down the shaft was hard work for Link, who had gotten quite used to his adult form and strength and was admittedly quite hungry right now.

Just as he was beginning to feel confident, he reached his leg down for a rather damp bit of brickwork and slipped off it almost immediately. "Aaah!" he cried, gripping onto the handholds even tighter. For dreading seconds, he thought his short life would come to an end at that moment.

"Don't look down, Link!" shouted Navi from above. Link could not help himself. He almost immediately looked down and was greeted by endless **dark**. If he lost his grip, he would drop like a rock, probably break every bone in his body and have to be scooped up off the ground like jelly.

"I can't do this any more!" he shouted in frustration.

"Yes, you can. Just don't look down!"

"I'm not looking down!" he protested.

"Look. Reach down for that next brick over there. It's just down and to your left."

"I can't reach it! I'll fall!"

"You're not going to fall. Just reach down with your foot. Have you found it?"

Link stretched down as far as he could go, still used to his adult body, just about scraping the alcove with his boot. "Yes. I have it."

"Lower yourself down onto it."

"I don't trust it! What if it breaks?"

"Do you trust me?"

Link looked at Navi, blinking tears from his eyes and nodded. "Yes. I trust you."

"then just step down and transfer your weight onto that brick there."

Link did so, shifting himself onto his left foot. His heart almost vapourised when that gap cracked and he lost all of his grip.

" **AAAAAAAAAAARGH!** " He tumbled down the chute, scattering debris and dust and bouncing off wall after wall. He eventually managed to hit the brakes by grabbing onto a metal, overhanging bar. "Navi! You said it was safe!"

"I… guess that one was a bit weaker than it looked. But look down!"

" **LOOK DOWN?** You just told me not to!"

"No, seriously! Look down! You're-"

" **WAY HIGH UP! I'** **M TOO SCARED!** "

"For goodness' sake, you're about an inch off the ground!" Navi sighed. Despite sounding serious, she also sounded like she was laughing a bit.

"I am?" Her partner prised his eyes open. Having fallen all that way, his boots were sliding gently across the floor. "Oh, right." He counted to three under his breath and let go of the bar, coming to a stop almost immediately. Falling down like that had hurt quite a bit. He could feel a rough tingle in his skin. The worst thing was that he couldn't see if he was bleeding because of the very low light in the… room, if you could call it that. Goosebumps stood up the small hairs on his arm and he shivered jumping huffs of cloudy breath out. The absence of his tights and gauntlets were quite a setback because of the cold temperatures.

"This room is **darker** than most of the stuff that's happened so far!" Link muttered, reaching out to try and get a hold of something. He ended up closing his fingers around a muscular arm, which quickly withdrew. The boy gasped and stepped back before lunging with the Kokiri Sword, but whatever he had touched had skedaddled. "Someone's down here!"

"Hey!" Navi darted out the way of a flying projectile like a fly evading a swatter. It burst against the floor and very briefly lit the room with a loud, bright flash before fading.

It left a light in its wake, however. The Deku Nut's friction and sparks had made it to a nearby torch, which shimmered like sand and warmed Link up a treat.

Now that he could see something other than **black** , Link quickly thanked whoever lit up the room for him and looked at his arms and legs for damage. Only a few scratches and grazes graced his wrists and legs. Next, he took a look around him to see what exactly he was trying to find.

Damp bricks wrapped the catacombs, just as they had the well. Water seeped through the cracks and pattered to the floor, one of them slipping down the back of Link's neck and shocking him like lightning. Autumn leaves scattered across the floor like broken glass. What's more, a humanoid figure sat hunched at the end of the room.

"Look, there's a person over there!" Navi began to fly over to inspect this new man. Link stuck his hand out and caught her before she could fly away.

"Wait! Last time we saw something humanoid in some old cave underground, it was a Redead who tried to bite my head off! I'm not falling for that creepy crawler!"

"That's not a Redead!" Navi replied, freeing herself. She flew over, turning a curious grey. "It's a skeleton!"

* * *

Link finished sprinting over to the skeleton in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't. Kakariko Village, formerly one of the most peaceful places Link had seen outside the forest, had been drinking water infected with horrid old corpses?

As he got closer to it, the ribcage became more and more defined, as did its skull. Navi was right. Just the thought that people were likely drinking from this very well made Link feel nauseous. "How did he get down here?" he murmured, slowly reaching out and scratching a bit of dirt off its face. It felt… warm, as if there was a fire inside of it.

Like a sunrise, orange light bled out of the skull's eyes. Link jumped back and squeaked a little, as did Navi, the former landing right on his bum. The skeleton's lower jaw squeaked like a rusty, metal door as it began to lower…

"Hey, there!"

The little fairy screamed in terror.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

"Oh, blummin' 'eck! Stop screamin'!"

This only made Navi scream more.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

"Oh, shut yer trap!"

Link, unable to hear the voice, looked at his fairy in confusion, a tad scared. All he heard was Navi repeatedly screaming. "What's going on?"

"Th-th-that skeleton! It's speaking to me!"

"Course I am, m'lady! How else will you know to look out for the bubbles?"

Navi's colour swiftly returned. "Bubbles? What will bubbles do? Pop on me?"

Link looked with uncertainty between Navi and the skeleton, wrinkling his face up. All he could hear was Navi seemingly talking to herself.

"Not that kind of bubble! Bubbles are skull drones that circle the maze of corridors in 'ere." explained the skeleton. "If one spots ya, it'll make an awful racket and summon dozens of creepies onto you in moments! Ya know what they look like?"

"No?"

"They're big, disembodied skulls with a spooky, green glow. If you see a light or hear flapping, HIDE. Don't turn and fight. Just get somewhere and hide!"

"Thank you, Mr… skeleton."

The fire in the skeleton's eyes went out and Navi looked at her partner. He couldn't see her face through her glow, but there was something a bit vacant about her. "Who were you talking to just now?" he asked her. Since she had thanked the skeleton, he took a quick look at it but it was as dead as the inside of the well.

"That skeleton! Apparently, there are these… guards down here called Bubbles and-"

" **BUBBLES?** "

"Yes, Bubbles. They are these skulls that fly around the corridors here to look for people and if they find anyone, they send lots of monsters to your location."

"What am I meant to do? Fight them?"

Navi suddenly flew at him and placed a finger across his lips. "No, no, no! Don't fight them! If you see green light or hear flapping, find a place to hide if you don't want who knows what climbing all over you. Giant worms? Spiders? Redeads?"

" **STOP!** You're making me feel itchy already! Lets just see if we can make heads or tails of this maze, OK?"

 **Flap… flap… flap… flap…**

A neon green luminousness began to consume the room, creeping on Link and swallowing him entirely. "There's one right now! Hide, Link!"

"Where?"

"Somewhere! Run around the corner or something!"

"But he'll turn and find me anyway!"

"Turn a corner after that!"

"No time for that!"

* * *

The Bubble arrived at the scene, his body burning with emerald flames. Despite something of the same colour getting hit with his rays earlier, he could not detect it for the undead life of him.

The little, bat-like wings on the sides of his head curled in frustration and a rickety groan escaped his lips. Someone was hiding from him and he was going to sniff them out and end them! The only question was… had he gone around the corner?

No other alternative. That had to be it! The Bubble turned in the air and began to fly away, leaving the area behind him in **darkness**.

Link, having somehow managed to wriggle inside the skeleton Navi had spoken to, slowly raised his head, taking the skeleton's fragile skull up with it. As the Bubble strayed further and further away from him, he took his old Slingshot out, which had been too small to fit in his adult hands, loaded it with a pellet and let it go. He pulled the elastic string back so far that it actually hurt his finger when he released it. A stone zipped through the air at speed, tearing through the Bubble's skull and dropping it to the floor where it melted away in thick wisps of smoke.

"Link, what were you thinking?" Navi was not impressed. "What if that didn't work and all it did was make it angry?"

Link climbed out of the skeleton, taking its head with him by mistake. "Well, it worked. That's him out of the way. We should really try and find that thing Sheik was talking about." And so, still holding the skull, he started to walk away.

"Don't suppose you could find time to return my head, can you?" the skeleton's head sneered. Navi flew in front of Link's face.

"The skeleton just asked for its head back!"

"Why not? Here you go." With that, the boy pitched the skull backwards over his head like he was trying to show off at basketball. It bounced like a weirdly shaped ball back to where it came from, ending in one big leap that perched it on top of the skeleton…

...the wrong way up.

"Hey! Wait! This isn't right!" he protested. If he could move, he would have been gesturing like he was trying to swat a fly at that point.

"It's a happy ending for everyone! Now let's navigate this place!" Link said to himself, disappearing into one of the many tunnels in the sepulchre.

"No it isn't! Not with my head on upside down!"

* * *

Four hours went by like four decades as Link ended up in the same corridor he had traversed umpteen times during his stay under the well. It didn't just go by slow because of the mundane repetition of just going around in a giant circle with the occasional Bubble to snipe out of the air, but because of the music.

 **THAT... MUSIC.**

True to what the man in the windmill had to say seven years in the future, the Song of Storms had gotten well and truly stomped into his brain like a footprint in wet sand. He had started playing it four hours ago and he hadn't stopped since. The straw that broke the camel's back was when yet another hour passed and Link ended up back at square one, the music still playing away.

 **DEE DEE DEEEEEE, DE DE DEEEEE…**

It was the Song of Storms, a song so catchy that once it was inside your head, it would never leave.

 **DEEEEEEEEE DEEDEEDEEDEEDEEDEEEEE…**

The whimsical whizz was so catchy that it would cause anyone to start singing it under their breath.

 **DEE DEE DEE DEE DEEEEEEEEEE, DEE DEE DEE DEE DEEEEEEEEEE…**

It was so toe-tapping that, in the years to come, it would become a hit and be played over and over again for every wedding, party and children's birthday for years up and down Hyrule.

 **DEE DEE DEEEEEE, DE DE DEEEEE…**

The Song of Storms screamed fun all over.

 **DEEEEEEEEE DEEDEEDEEDEEDEEDEEEEE…**

But when it was played for hours and hours on end, it turned into an torture method. It was so catchy that Link had made up lyrics for it.

 **Is it wind? Is it rain?**

 **It's a heavy hurricane…**

…

…

That's it. Every time he tried to think up more, he would start getting mad and lose his train of thought.

" **HEEEY!** Put a sock in it, music man! Play something new, will you?" he shouted up through the ceiling, hoping the man would hear and not a monster. He threw his hands up and looked at Navi. "If we go back and he's flooded all of Hyrule with that song to the point where the mountaintops have become islands, I will not be amused."

 **DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

Sensing and hearing danger, Link dived to the side, rolling around a corner and painfully getting stones in his knees but when he heard a shattering wall, he poked his head around to take a look. He didn't see much for the **dark** , plus the sand and stone sailing around but he caught a distinct, purple line flashing in the **blackness**. It swayed left and right, as if looking for something before it fully turned and disappeared, the back of its furry shape fading into the dust it had kicked up.

"What was that line just then?" Link asked Navi. The fairy dimmed her light to make sure no one would find them.

"It dug through the wall just then… it was all big and furry… I think that was the monster that followed us back in time!" Navi deduced. Link looked at the giant hole it had left in the wall, which seemed to span on and on for miles.

"Judging by that hole, I'd say you're right."

"Lets follow its footprints! Maybe that will lead us to the thingamabob we need to get!"

* * *

Link ran as fast as his little legs would go, closely following the clawprints of this mechanical mole monster that almost sniffed him out. It had followed him to the past, but for what reason? Did Ganondorf send it so it could collect this object before he could? In any case, its tracks were fading further and further away from existence. He was hoping that he would find it before the monster, but how would he do that when he couldn't overtake it?

Distracted by the music, which was **STILL** going, Link slid around a corner and almost tipped over into a pit of water. He found himself standing before a small pool. Dust was flipping and spinning around through a giant, round hole in the wall, which trailed soft earth off the walls and into the water.

"All that dust tells me that monster went for a little dip." Link said, dipping his finger in the water. The water stole the last sliver of heat from the digit and left it numb. "And something else tells me that this beast has a lot of tolerance for the cold!"

Wearing the Zora Tunic at this age would make Link look like he had been hit by a shrink ray's beam. He didn't know if it would still work if it didn't fit him and he didn't really want to find out, to be blunt.

The boy looked below him at the floor. More generally, at a glint that caught his eye. He'd seen this shape everywhere as a child, three equilateral triangles joined to form a large one with an inverted triangle in the middle, but… they had made a mysterious disappearance in the future. It was more than likely something to do with Ganondorf.

It had been such a long time since Link had played Zelda's Lullaby. So long, in fact, that he had half forgotten how to play it. He had taken his Ocarina out in an instant, but he struggled with some of the notes.

 **Pheeee… phaaaa… phooo…**

"Don't you remember Zelda's Lullaby?" Nagged Navi, impatient. "Wasn't she one of your friends?"

"That song up there is throwing me off!" Link snarled through his teeth, glaring a hole in the ceiling. "And, to answer your question… yeah. I've been trying to keep it under for a while, but we haven't seen her in the future yet, have we? I… worry for her. That's… mostly what I've been worrying about. No one's even mentioned her, have they? The only peep I've seen from her was of… that horrid painting in the Forest Temple!"

"I hope she's all right just as much as you do, Link. I really do. For all I hope, she's hiding right in front of us in plain sight! Well, when we return to adulthood anyway."

"Being a grown-up is much more responsibility than I thought. I wish I was wrong when I said I wasn't a Kokiri..." To cut the talk short, Link began playing again. He remembered his first meeting with Zelda. He remembered the tender care she showed him, which spurred him on to remember Impa, her assistant. This made him recollect how he had learned Zelda's Lullaby.

As he played the melody, the Triforce below him lit with a divine glow, like the old Royal Family's tomb. As he stepped away, he noticed bubbles frothing the water's surface. A whirlpool began to gently puncture the top. Slowly and steadily, the water began draining from the cavity. Waterlogged dust and sand sank like stones all the way to the bottom of the pit, allowing the gaping mouth of the monster's tunnel to breathe. If you were to listen closely, you could even hear scratchy breathing coming from it.

On second thought, that was probably just the monster digging.

"Right..." started Link, climbing down the hole and landing on the damp ground below. "If that monstrosity dug through here in particular, the all-seeing thing must be where it's going."

"I trust that, Link. That sounds about right. Be careful, OK?" Navi told him. She turned an uncertain grey. "I don't want you getting hurt down here because I won't be able to find anyone and get help!"

Looking reassuringly at her, Link took a single step into the giant burrow, looking at all the worms and bones sticking out from the sides. This tempted him to quicken his pace and he began to sprint, tripping on the sinking soil and periodic bits of ancient pottery that protruded from the floor.

* * *

A rancid pong was waiting for Link upon his emerging from the tunnel. His face squished together as if he was chewing on a lemon as soon as his head reached into the room, not just from the smell of urine either. The room was a complete and utter eyesore!

Firstly, whoever designed the walls is not going to be rebuilding my one any time soon! Human skulls piled up to the ceiling, all were the only things holding it up and stopping it from coming smashing down. The floor was a ramshackle mess at best. The worst detail was the white, blood-patterned hands attached to arms the height of Ganondorf. Maybe even taller than that. They were about as tall as the kitchen in a large house.

The dim, flickering light of Navi did little to cleave the **blackness**. The **dark** in this room was as thick as a concrete yoghurt. It soaked soporifically into the silent boy like a big, heavy blanket laying the owners of these skulls on the wall to rest.

Link shuffled into the oily sombreness, feeling that the whole kingdom was weighing on his shoulders. He had promised Sheik to come back to the bleak future to save it and he might have a bit of trouble with that if he were dead.

Silence was deafening. It was only broken by shivering breaths of the forest boy and the flapping wings of his companion. There was also a rubbery stretching noise that periodically got louder, but Link couldn't place what was causing it.

"I am sensing the presence of the deceased lurking in this room, Link." Navi whispered to her partner. She got no response, but she could hear rubbery stretching. The leather of his boots, no doubt. She understood his words being held hostage. "So be careful, OK? I never thought whatever burst out of the wall could be undead!"

…

…

…

"Link? This silence is beginning to concern me. Are you-" Navi turned to check on her companion, but found the cause of his silence not to be from concentration or fear. In fact, it was not even mental.

It was physical.

The sprite blackened, screaming shrilly like a police whistle, not being able to take the sight of her friend bound by white fingers, stained completely red. Link felt even worse, feeling his face being squeezed by a thin, skeletal arm with fingers like bullwhips and red nails like knives. The worst part was that this wasn't even his main enemy. These were just its tools.

The real one was slithering up behind him. Link could see the shadow looming over him like oil-drenched puddle. Then he smelt its breath hissing past him…

Even if this thing somehow ingested every tube of toothpaste in the world, its breath would still smell like every bad smell possible. To put it in simple terms, its malodour could probably melt glass. If anything good came from it, the pungent niff gave Link the energy to rip the binding hand off his face and spin to face the eldritch abomination that had sized him up. One look at it, however, made him want the hand to take him back.

It looked like someone had stuck a giant air machine into a hoover bag, covered it in blood and mould and let it sit for an hour. A giant, bloated mess of tumorous mass swayed through the air towards him, its face pointing skyward. Its arms terminated with no hands, but sharp, red spires. Its eyes were black and expressionless. In fact, it was debatable whether it had eyes or not.

A deep, gargling noise akin to someone after cleaning their teeth purred out from the monster's throat. It edged to Link, lacking legs and shuffling along the floor like a snail on the stump of its torso instead.

"Navi… Navi… Navi!" Link gibbered. All he could do was back away, sweat and chatter his jaw from the cold and fear. Navi knew what he was trying to tell her. He wanted to know what this blob of nightmares actually was.

"Link, this is a Dead Hand! Watch out for the hands it pulls from the ground and… find a way to make it bring its face down!"

"If that's just its hand, I dread to think of what the rest of it is like!"

"yeah, that's just… it. I don't know why it's called a Dead Hand when it doesn't even have any!"

Link sensed the presence of another icy hand slithering up behind him, its muscle and bones revealed through its torn skin. With a quick spin, he pulled the Deku Shield and the Kokiri Sword from their positions and into action, slashing it clean off. No blood flew because all of it had been drained long ago, but it landed on the floor at Link's feet, still wriggling on the throes of death.

Link armed himself with the arm, picking it up in his arms and almost buckling as it was taller than he thought, but he revolved it so the nails were facing the Dead Hand and began to wobble towards it.

" **Huuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr...** "

The Dead Hand kept going and going. It was like one of those inflatable tube men at the funfair, but this one had obviously been used as a prop in a horror movie. The one eye it still had left a red trail of light in the air as it lowered its head, letting its mirror-shattering face meet with Link's brave gaze. Its mutilated mouth **SMILED** to try and intimidate his prey, but that only resulted in a set of blood-covered nails raking it across the face.

" **Aaaaaaaaaargh...** "

Even its cries of pain didn't pack much expression. Link didn't even know if he'd hurt it or not. It just sloped off into the far reaches of the room and hid in the ground, spewing earth everywhere.

Link looked to his left and to his right, waiting for the monster to emerge to face him once more. He could feel it through the soles of his boots. He could even hear it.

" **I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole! I am a mole, and I live in a hole!** "

"What in the name of Din?" Link muttered in disbelief. The rumbling began to get closer to the surface at a rate of knots and the Dead Hand's slow burrowing speed had thrown Link off. He almost completely mistimed his dive but the second the earth beneath him started to rise, he grabbed Navi and rolled out of the way. Something came smashing out but it was **CLEARLY** not the Dead Hand. Well, unless it had stopped by for a makeover underground.

Link was now facing a seemingly cybernetic mole that would not fit in any old trap. In fact, you'd probably need a full team of emergency services if you found one of its molehills in your garden. It was the height of two and a half Links. Link was 50 inches tall as a child, so that meant that the mole was 125 inches tall. He wore metal gloves and footwear, all four pieces wielding bronze, fake claws. His face was obscured behind a thick, metal mask fitted with a drill it could freely activate and deactivate at will.

The purple, glowing slit on its face flashed and it growled like a battle-ready warrior.

To make matters worse, the Dead Hand came forth behind him.

The two circled him cautiously, well aware of what this little boy before them could do. Dead Hand from his encounter with his own hand and the mole from Ganondorf's warnings he had given just after the destruction of the future Kakariko Village.

The Dead Hand made the first move, lunging and hissing, yellow and black teeth bared. It found itself blinded by a Deku Nut Link had kept in his pouch since he had first received it. He then shot it with his Slingshot and followed with a strike from the Boomerang which was too small to be thrown accurately as an adult. The Dead Hand swayed and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Ħaffer the mole monster was not pleased. He did a long, echoing grown and lowered himself back into the ground, pounding his fist into his open palm.

 **CLANG CLANG!**

Link took one look at Dead Hand, who was twitching on the floor. "Where did he go, Navi? Where did mud mouth disappear off to?"

"Ħaffer is dangerous!" Navi exclaimed to him. "That's the monster that followed us back in time under the command of Ganondorf! He's using the Lens of Truth to power his vision so he can see!"

"A mole that can see? How am I meant to beat him with all that?"

Navi was evidently struggling, as she turned grey and then black, straining and humming away. All of a sudden, she gasped loudly. "The potion! The Hyper Potion!"

"Ah! Well done, that might work!" Link reached down and prepared to take his bottle up to his lips but a pair of sharp claws grabbed him from behind and lifted him, where he found himself pressed against a furry body.

" **RUUUUUUUUUUH!** "

Link screamed and shouted for some help. Anyone would do. Even the nutter in the windmill, who would probably just crack the mole's visor with his song, but he was fast disappearing down the hole with the mole. He looked around for Navi but she flew out of his bag, holding a Deku Nut above her head. "Don't touch my partner!" she screeched furiously, turning blood red and hurling the nut with all her might. It burst and flashed in Ħaffer's visor, knocking him back and allowing Link to squirm free.

The boy began to run away, the mole in hot pursuit. It furrowed through the floor, chasing him in circles. Every few seconds, it would leap out of the ground and back in like a porpoise to gain speed. Link eventually broke the pattern, running off into the middle of the circle and hurdling the Dead Hand's unconscious body, which soon lost its life as Ħaffer ploughed a hole through it. The smell of a Rafflesia flower cut through the air, almost making Link freeze up but, to avoid doing so, he pulled his bottle from his sash and drank the colourful contents.

The liquid poured down his throat like water through a hose, the ingredients inside taking over his veins. The mole monster ahead of him started up his nose drill once again…

 **WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…**

Link felt like whole new boy. He would never have done this or even considered it before drinking that potion, but he reached out and seized the whizzing bit, gripping it with enhanced power and leaving Navi speechless, as well as completely stopping it. Ħaffer didn't process quickly enough to shut off his drill, because he started spinning around and around and around like a propeller.

" **AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHH!** "

Link finally decided to let go, sending his foe crashing to the floor. He stood, growled and tunnelled once more. The Hyper Potion didn't just give Link strength, though. It also gave him speed.

 **VROOOOOOOM!**

He began to run in a fast circle around the room, using the same path Ħaffer had chased him through before. This time, the vibrations above the mole confused him to the Sacred Realm and back. With the sound of pattering feet coming from every direction, he crunched from the floor, greeted with a blurry, green wall of after images.

" **Huh? Huh? Error! One at a time, please!** "

The hyperactive bundle of energy leaped from behind, slashing at Ħaffer and scattering fur.

"Fury cutter!"

Before he could comprehend what had happened or even feel any pain, Ħaffer found himself at the mercy of the Kokiri Sword yet again.

"FURY CUTTER!"

Almost instantly after that one, Link, who was an unrecognisable blur at this point, launched himself one more time.

" **FURY CUTTER!** "

Using Ħaffer's head to get some height, he held his glowing sword up above his own. Every last bit of surplus energy he had got from that drink battered up his arms and travelled into the hilt of his blade, ready for one concentrated, finishing attack. Ħaffer had the time to look up and utter a sound of frustration but Link didn't let him say any more. He plunged down, driving his sword straight through his enemy like a slicer going through an apple. The mole's brain was instantly divided, so the monster was silent as Link dropped to the floor, having slashed him cleanly apart. His strike was so clean that the monster stayed in one piece for a few seconds, his visor flashing on and off like a phone that had been dropped in a pool, before electricity flew everywhere.

Ħaffer opened up perfectly in the middle, a neon blue glow radiating from the two inside parts of the halves. At first, he only separated by about a foot. This turned into a meter, but the two did not fall over. Link was spared the resulting explosion by a Deku Nut crashing to the floor in front of him and a skinny arm whisking him up and away from the condemned catacombs.

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"Everyone gets moles. My granddad has them on his arm but the doctor said he shouldn't worry about them."_


	48. Lying Lens

Link felt fresh air bless his skin, but he had to shoo away a crowd of smoke to see where he was. When it all dispersed, he was outside the well of Kakariko Village. He could still see some black fumes belching from the inside, no doubt from when the mole blew up earlier. Speaking of which, who or what had saved him?

Something flashing in the sun caught his eye. It was a purple glint laying on the brick wall of the well. Link had briefly thought that he had left it behind in the exploding wasteland under the well, but it was sitting right in front of him, the colour of that of the mole's visor.

Coughing from the excess smoke, Link reached for it and grabbed what seemed to be a long handle, like that of a magnifying glass. He pulled it towards him to take a look at his find.

It was a piece of red, clear glass embedded in a purple frame. He turned it over in his hand and whistled, slightly impressed. It was like a mirror that you could see through, or a stained magnifying glass.

"Is this the Lens of Truth you were talking about, Navi?" said Link. He put his eye to the glass to look through plunging the entire town into redness. "What does it even do?"

"You can see the truth with it! You can see stuff you can't and you can even read minds!" Navi looked at Link with a rather snide look on her mug. "So if I look at you through that, what will I see?"

"Oh!" Link stumbled back, almost toppling straight back into the well. He grabbed the handle of the Lens of Truth again. "Um… you would see… um… the truth! Let's test this thing out!" Link put his eye to the spyglass again, looking at a few civilians who were strolling past. He pointed to one man angrily emerging from The World's End. "It's working! I can see that man's thoughts! He's embarrassed because the waiter dropped his gnocchi all over him!"

Navi nodded her head lightly with bemusement. "All right… How long do you plan on doing this for?"

"That kid over there sneaks outside at night to go and visit the graveyard, that woman's just realised she's been putting her letters in the dog bag bin for two years and that guy has a giant boil on his-"

"Enough!" screeched Navi, blinking red. "That man will hear you! Think for a moment. Will Sheik be pleased that you got what he was after and are now playing around with it instead of coming to help?"

"I wonder what he'll have to say about this. Lets go back to the Temple of Time before someone sees us!" Link felt for his Ocarina and allowed Navi to perch on his head. He then crept behind two hay bales in a cucco pen so no one would see him before playing the Prelude of Light.

As soon as he finished playing, he felt his legs starting to disappear. He didn't panic, he didn't feel pain, he just went with everything as he started to dissolve into particles of light as if he were made of golden glitter. He took a look down at his hand as that started fading with the rest of him. Moments later, he had completely gone and lost all his senses.

Well, good thing he hid beforehand, just imagine if someone saw that with no context!

* * *

Link felt himself pulling back together. What started as light clouding his eyes got less and less intense as it moved down further and further, replacing the rest of his body. The pungent aroma of incense and spacious feel he got told him that he had made it to the Temple of Time. More namely, the Master Sword's bedroom. He could see it flashing before him, planted upside down into the stone where it lay.

"Sheik, this one's for you… You too, Zelda." Link approached his old blade, making sure to check the room to see if it was clear this time. He looked all around the floor, some of the walls and even behind the Master Sword but there was someone who needed to get back to their home time. They had managed to crawl inside before Link even got there and hung onto the ceiling like a spider until the bearer of the sacred blade placed his hands around the purple handle with green weaves. The sword had spent a much shorter time in its pedestal compared to when he first pulled it, so it came out of the stone with ease, flooding the chamber in a tsunami of light and disintegrating the boy and his fairy into dust.

* * *

Link's body reformed itself, alongside Navi's. The blue aura stopped channelling up the podium where he stood as he inspected his arm once again. The longer sleeve and the leather gauntlet let him know that he had successfully kept Sheik's promise.

"I did it!" Link called out into the chamber. "Sheik! Where are you? I'm back! I have the Lens of Truth! Some mole monster took it to power his vision up!"

"I saw it. All of it."

Of all the places he could have showed up, the last place Link expected him to appear was here again. He yelped a little and staggered back, watching Sheik fall to the floor like a duvet. "How? I… don't think you followed me during my childhood, did you?"

The boy's eyes narrowed, sheening from the glare of the Master Sword. "Mind what I tell you. When you returned the Master Sword to its pedestal, everything inside the room got warped to the past. And I mean **everything.** "

"So… you followed us." Navi concluded, "That explains how he got out of the well so fast."

"And how I saw something moving in that tree when I mentioned you."

"You're absolutely right. I went back not only time-wise, but age-wise too. Let me tell you, sneaking in a suit five times too big for you is no easy task!"

Link was slightly tickled, but he didn't dare show it so as not to undermine the seriousness of his mentor. "You were sneaky enough so I was none the wiser and that's kind of impressive."

"Still, I kind of wish my clothes would grow and shrink like yours seem to."

"Fair. I don't know why it didn't rip when I woke up, but I'm not complaining."

"Back to the topic at hand, swordsman… you are trying to find and rescue Zelda, correct?"

Link stood straight and gasped, sheathing the Master Sword. "You… knew? But I never told you. I never told anyone! How did you know that? Who are you?"

The ninja reached behind himself, keeping a watchful eye on his pupil. "I am but a simple minstrel. Nothing less, nothing more. I can sense it. Zelda is very important to you. The next sage owns more knowledge about her whereabouts than me. To reach her and to reach the Shadow Temple, let the Nocturne of Shadows into your mind."

Link raised his Ocarina yet again, watching Sheik pull out a harp. This instrument resembled a twisting, blackened branch covered with pink thorns. Both ready to perform, Sheik led with seven notes. It sounded like something that would start a dark opera.

Link stopped playing the song abruptly after about two repetitions, suddenly feeling slightly claustrophobic from the droning notes.

"Yes, it is a bit of a dingy opus, that one." Sheik admitted. "You played it well, however, so it should carry you to the Shadow Temple that resides in Kakariko Village's graveyard in no time."

"Please don't disappear this time!" Link shivered slightly, feeling something crawling up his back. Maybe it was a stray insect? "I need you to help me with this!"

Sheik didn't respond. In fact, he was frozen still like a statue. He still had his sharp harp perched on his arm but the colour had started to fade away from him. Link stepped closer to him, ignoring the cold sweat sweeping over his face and shouted louder.

" **HEEEEY!** Can you hear me? Say something!"

"Why are you talking to a statue, Link?" Navi asked from behind him. Link almost turned around and thought she had gone mad, but the surroundings began to clear. He could see uneven brick walls towered with moss. He also saw fern plants carrying drops of water to the edges. Additionally, there were some stinging nettles, oak trees, a bench and…

...what he had thought was Sheik **was** a statue. It depicted a long-haired woman in a toga atop a small podium, carrying a jug filled with rainwater.

More interestingly, a large tunnel that held a flight of stairs was embedded in the wall. The walls had no features, the stairs were made out of lumpy stone and they went down an impossibly long way. In fact, it just seemed to slip into the shadows.

"That was… seamless! I didn't even realise that we were here at first! He's just messing around with me at this point! What is even down there?"

"If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say it would be like the well." Navi suggested. Memories of the cursed caves made her turn as black as the tunnel.

"I… was hoping for something more uplifting, but this is the Shadow Temple after all. I suppose the least we can do is get it over with."

Navi nodded herself to show approval, but Link had already started descending the smooth, stone steps.

* * *

"Where does this end? The centre of the world?"

Link was understandably frustrated. He had walked down five Eiffel Towers worth of stairs at this point. The most frustrating thing was that he kept feeling like he as at least halfway down and he couldn't turn back but, at the same time, he was just being warped back to the very beginning every few minutes.

"Navi..."

"Yes?"

Link leaned back against the wall, catching his breath. "You don't know how lucky you are to have wings. I think I have walked further than I have in my entire quest before this!"

"It's not that bad." Navi replied.

"How would you know? I just wish that something here would move. Anything to break the monotony!"

A giant, rubbery hand made of elephant leather stretched its fingers around a loose brick and pulled it out, ringing a loud crack through the tunnel. In the blink of an eye, all the bricks lowered down into a steep slope. The smooth material underfoot almost immediately took Link's balance and he fell painfully onto his bottom, rapidly gaining speed as he was drawn straight into the Shadow Temple.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!** "

* * *

If anything good came out of this, it was that Link reached the bottom of the marathon staircase in only a minute compared to the quarter of an hour he would have spent walking. He landed in a crumpled heap on the floor like a pile of wet towels. He pulled himself up, dusting himself off with disgust.

"Navi, what did you touch?" he grumbled at his fairy. She huffed into the room behind him, just a tad worn out.

"No, that wasn't me! Why would I do that if it would involve having to fly like mad to catch up?"

"If it wasn't you, then who did that?"

The Shadow Temple easily earned its name. Despite being a flying, talking light, Navi was completely blanketed by the shadows. No one could see what the temple looked like and I'm kind of glad about it. Who knows what I would have to write down?

In his blindness, Link accidentally took the Lens of Truth out of his belt, meaning to try and get some leftover flares he had picked up under the Forest Temple's well. He struck it against a match thrice, accidentally snapping it as he got slightly frustrated before realising his mistake.

"Will this offer us any help?"

"Can you feel those bumps on the handle?" Navi asked from in front of him. She strained as she brightened herself, becoming just barely visible.

"Yes. Two of them."

"Press the green… I mean the lower one."

 **CLICK!**

The dark cut in a green circle. Because the only thing Link had seen was black, it was quite startling and for a heart-twisting moment he thought he was staring straight into the eye of an ogre, but he started seeing old stone slabs in front of him through the loop. "What is this? What have I done to it?" he mused. He raised the glass to his eye and the loop got bigger and bigger. While it was still a bit hard to see, it was far better than nothing.

"That shade of green lets you see in the dark! Are there any doorways about?"

"How did you know that? We've barely used this thing!"

"Um… I recognised the colour!"

Link trotted forwards, moving the lens left and right with his eye following it as if he was looking through a security camera. Even when looking through an enhanced eye, he still didn't feel like he could see everything. The room was very minimal. The only obstacles he had to avoid were… pillars, but they were clearly only there to hold the roof up. There was no door, no hatch in the ceiling, nothing of that nature. Only one suspicious portion of the floor that was ringed with a metal rim.

Link took one small step into the ring to see if it felt bombable. He quickly discovered that if he had put a bomb on there, it would have just sank through in an instant and plunged into a deep pit below. Not because it was quickstone or something of that sort, the floor in that circle was an illusion and Link had just fallen right into it. Literally.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** Who stole the floor? Give it back! I was using it!"

Falling straight down through a second pit, Link armed himself with the Master Sword and drove it straight into the wall. The metal wailed through the rock, drawing a red line in it all the way down to the bottom.

"That lying lens! I could have broken my legs! I thought that it could see the truth!"

"I forgot to tell you! If you have the dark vision colour on, you can no longer see the truth with it!" declared Navi, rejoining her partner.

"You could have told me that sooner? Now, where is this room?" Link moved his hand to brush away a nearby cobweb but felt himself knock something hard. He held the Master Sword to look at what it was, unmasking it as a guillotine that had just come slicing down. "Someone's going to lose their block on this thing!"

"I dread to think what this place used to be used for!"

"I hope it was, at most, just a really extreme vegetable chopper!"

Preferring to use the Master Sword over the Lens of Truth's night vision, Link only managed to complete twelve steps down the corridor before he heard the sounds of musical rattling. It was like what he had briefly heard in Hyrule Field as a boy before being clobbered over the head, but more grown than that. He could also hear a bronze sword being scraped against a metal shield.

What could he see? Disembodied, red dots of energy ahead of him.

" **RAAAAH!** "

Everything was dozens of times scarier in here. In this situation, being shown nothing was actually more of an effective scare than actually seeing something. A blast of wind impacted his shield and knocked him back, costing his arm its senses. Another one came through, striking his sword this time. Link could see the two red dots moving left and right, locked on to him like laser pointers. He tried to fight back but he looked like he was being nettled by a mozzie.

"Link! It's an invisible Stalfos!" Navi reported.

"I can't hit it!"

"Use the Lens of Truth! The red glass, not the green one!"

"But then I can't use my shield!"

"If you use the lens, you'll at least be able to get somewhere!"

Link rolled his eyes discreetly. "Fine, let's try it!" Using one arm to fence with, Link returned the Hylian Shield to his back, replacing it with the Lens of Truth. He swiftly pressed the red button, took a peek through and revealed his foe.

If Link had been attacked by this in Hyrule Field all that time ago, he would be long dead by now, end of. This skeleton was armed with a sharp, bronze sword and a round shield and it was as tall as Link in his adult form. It wore a tatty, tartan kilt and a tin helmet and the two red glows that hovered in midair beforehand actually seemed to be its source of sight as they were located directly in its eye sockets. Its attacks were sloppy and clunky, but effective. The Master Sword, though, was its one natural weakness. In a few short seconds, Link sheared one of its legs off, then an arm. Its ribcage shattered like a glass pane and its head followed suit.

"How many invisible enemies are we going to find in this creepy casket? I'd rather not get sucker punched by an invisible Redead. Please don't say they can turn invisible as well! I'll still see them when I close my… wait, I probably wouldn't!"

"From what I know off the top of my head, the only monsters that can appear invisible are… Skulltulas, Stalfos, Wallmasters, Keese, just stuff like that. Nothing too bad."

" **NOTHING TOO BAD?** How are Wallmasters nothing too bad?"

"Would you rather have invisible Redeads?"

"No..."

"I thought so."

Link had nowhere to go but forwards. He slipped past a stationary guillotine, over a series of barrels, under a dusty old sofa in some kind of common room, past a painting…

...past the same painting…

...past the same painting…

...past the same painting…

"Link?" Navi whispered. Link hummed and nodded to show attention.

"You know when a painting's eyes… follow you around a room?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever heard of a whole painting doing it?"

"No, I can't say I… what?"

Link looked to his companion, who reversed a couple of feed. The gold-framed painting of a man in armour shuffled sideways across the wall to follow her.

" **GHOST! A GHOST! GO AWAY, YOU POLTERGEIST PAINTING!** "

Link tore the Master Sword into battle, almost ripping the sheathe clean apart and took a flying leap at the painting…

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Of all ghosts, the ghosts of old lovers are the worst._ _"_


	49. The Rain of Pain

Link's blade ran straight down the observant artwork like a man down a hallway. Nothing became of the painting, however. It portrayed a man painted entirely in grey like a statue from Dampé's grave. A red bar was slashed across his eyes, as if he had requested to keep his identity hidden.

Link beckoned Navi to move a bit. When she flew ahead of him, the painting's frame screeched against the stone as it shuffled along the wall after her. Link moved in the opposite direction himself. The painting had no interest in him, though.

Link stomped and pointed his sword at the painting as if that would somehow make it run across the wall to safety like a bug. "What's your deal? Why are you following my fairy around like this?"

" **Only the one with the eye of truth will be able to move on from this room...** "

"First skeletons and now paintings! Why is this painting speaking to us?" Link seethed, almost dumping his sword straight on the floor. "This is giving me trust issues!"

" **Only the one with the eye of truth will be able to move on from this room...** "

Navi piped up, glowing green. "The eye of truth? Could he mean the lens…? Is this a secret of some kind?"

" **Only the one with the eye of truth will be able to move on from this room...** "

"You've told us this three times now! I have The Lens of Truth!"

" **Only the one with the eye of** -"

"Oh, for goodness' sake! Look, here it is! I have it! What are you hiding behind yourself?"

Fed up with the painting repeatedly regurgitating the same sentence again and again, Link almost hit himself in the eye with his spyglass, raising it to his face. The red light cut a path through the lies of the naked eye, invalidating the canvas and leaving only the frame.

As he had seen coming, the painting was hiding a deep hole in the wall behind it! The old 'secret room behind a painting' trick with a new twist!

For a few seconds, Link pretended to throw himself at the hole to try and fake it out and see if it would move at the last second and cause him to pancake into the wall, but it only seemed interested in following Navi left and right.

All was clear. Sensing her companion's idea, Navi flew upwards as Link charged straight through the painting, leaping and disappearing into the illustration. What could have possibly greeted him on the other side? Another guillotine? A ghost? A brick wall that was just painted to look like a tunnel?

He was met with an endless, inky void and lost all feeling in his body instead.

* * *

"Batten down the hatches, men! Batten faster! Batten better!"

 **BOOM!**

Link felt himself standing on the polished, wooden deck of a ship. The awkward surface creaked and bent underneath him, straining effortfully with the weight of its undead crew.

The hero thought he was seeing things for a moment! Crew? Why was he randomly on a ship from jumping into a painting? He could see a large, skeletal statue at the front of the massive platform, its drooping arms carrying two bronze bells. Little wisps of smoke drifted across the ship, phasing off through a nearby door and into the boat's belly. Wanting to know what they were, Link put the Lens of Truth to his eye, discovering that the tendrils were shaped like humans. More namely, pirates.

"Men! Are we all ready for our departure?" came a blasting voice from a fat, ghostly figure at the steering wheel. His beard was so long, Bear Grylls could camp in there and be given a run for his rupees. "We sail the seas-"

"Don't you mean the void? No water underneath us, sir!" corrected someone from atop the crow's nest.

"If you keep acting like a smart alec, you're going overboard! As I was saying… before I was **so rudely interrupted…** we aim to sail the void to our destination and fight off the vile monster that escaped to here!"

The crowd erupted in a chorus of cheers while Link almost dropped his eyeglass. Monster? Escaped? As in, the monster that escaped from Kakariko Village? So jumping through that painting was a good move after all! Then again, if what Sheik said held any truth, the sage he had to awaken was also here.

And that meant the monster was in the same place as her.

Link pinched the top of his hat lightly. "Navi?"

"Have they gone yet?" Navi squeaked from the very bottom of Link's cap. From the small vibrations he could feel against his hair, she was clearly fearing something.

"What's the matter?"

"Ghosts can see fairies! They can't see you, but they can see me! I can't come out of here otherwise they'd see me and smell a rat!"

"Fair enough. Can they see you through my hat?"

"No. They can't see your hat at all. I am inside your hat at the moment, so they can't see me either. Try and stay still and let them take you straight to the end of the temple!"

Link squeezed the tip of his hat. "You've got it! Stay in there for as long as you like, OK?"

" **LIFT THE ANCHOR! START THE OARS UP! FULL SPEED AHEAD!** " The obvious captain shouted orders to his men like a baboon ordering his pack around.

"Right away, captain!" The rest of the ghosts all saluted up to the steering wheel and scattered like dust on the wind, all off to perform their duties and get the ship moving. From looking through the lens, Link could see a wrathful wraith clambering up the rigging, a portly poltergeist heaving a titanic anchor up and over the railing of the great ghost ship, the beardy captain hoisted his claymore up and pointed it forwards...

" **AWAAAAAAAY!** "

…

…

…

"What is wrong with this boat? I said 'away'! Why aren't we moving?"

"Bad news, captain!" The door to the bottom of the ship flew open, striking the wall like a gunshot. A peg-legged pirate hobbled out as if he were running over cobbles. "Remember we need the song of the Royal Family to launch this bag of bolts?"

"Yes, of course I know that! We have the notes written down on that scroll in my quarters!"

"That's the issue! The crew threw that ghost overboard earlier because he used it in the khazi!"

" **HE WHAT?** " screeched the captain, stomping on the deck with such force, he almost sank the vessel. Link winced at the thought, almost echoing the captain's exclamation.

"Exactly! That was the only way anyone could remember the song we had to sing, and he used it to wipe his-"

" **ENOUGH! NO MORE! THIS SHIP CAN'T SAIL WITHOUT THAT SONG! WHAT WERE THE NOTES TO THE SONG?** "

"We don't know the song and that's why we wrote it down in the first place!"

Link shuffled uncomfortably at the squabbling squad, who were angrily crowding around the captain and the steering wheel. "I may be wrong on this, Navi, but something tells me they need help to get this thing started. If I don't help them, we'll never get to the end of the temple."

Navi's light illuminated his hat like a Christmas tree. "Since they can't see you, they can't hear you either. Play away!"

Link played the first song he ever learned on the Ocarina, being instinctively quiet just in case Navi was wrong. Still, he finished and felt a quick jolt as if he had just been shocked. All the crew gasped, some shouted several nautical expressions, while the boat slowly rocked forwards and away from the broken pier behind them.

"Oh, I say! Who knew the song?" the captain stroked his beard in confusion. Not one member of the crew stepped forwards. The watercraft, or skycraft in this case, was slowly gaining speed and the question was slowly escaping his mind. A giant smile spread across his dry, peeling lips. "Ah, never mind! To our first destination! **THE RAIN OF PAIN!** "

" _The rain of WHAT?"_ Link had so many questions, but the ship suddenly shot forwards like a launching coaster, almost toppling him to the floor.

 **WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!**

* * *

The pirate ship rocketed through the misty depths for an unbelievably long way. Link clamped his hat down to his head as the rest of his clothes danced wildly as if he were fighting a very strong hurricane. He must have travelled the distance of a ferry from England to France. He held to the sail mast as tightly as he could but he was quickly slipping off. He positioned himself so he was standing straight up and leaning far forward in the direction of the ship as if he were doing the anti-gravity lean. He probably should have accounted for the ship coming to an abrupt stop, though.

 **SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!**

The ship halted on the spot as if it had been physically frozen in time, making Link faceplant directly into the pole he was holding on to for support. He blithered up, his sight swimming with colours like was watching a 3D movie without the glasses, and tapped his cap. "Are you all right, Navi?"

"I'm fine in here. You?"

"Took a bit of a knock, but everything's good. Is this where the monster is?"

A wooden leg rammed the door of the ghost ship almost off its hinges and the captain, with his crew, limped out and onto the tatty jetty that they had parked alongside. "Crew, before we can tackle the handful at the end of this blasted temple, we first need to weaken it! You know how we do it?" In an instant, every ghost raised their thin arms skyward.

" **AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!** "

"That's the spirit, men!"

Link rubbed his eyes as he watched the men dismount the ship and disappear through the iron door. "We're not even there yet?"

"Didn't you just hear them?" Navi harrumphed, "Apparently, they're aiming to weaken that monster that broke out of the well so they can beat it! I'd say you should go in and help them."

Link huffed his fringe up. "Why can't I just go and mash him up like a potato right now? The sage here knows about Princess Zelda!"

"Remember what happened last time you faced it?"

"Nnnnno… You mean the mole? He was history seven years ago!"

"It's that invisible force that knocked you out when Kakariko Village was on fire. It just hit you once and you were out like a carouser. You've taken bigger hits than that, so this monster must be stronger than every giant enemy you've faced combined!"

"But… oh, so be it! It might be worth our time!"

Link leaped off the boat to the jetty, landing on the soft wood with such force that his foot crashed clean through it. With quick reactions, he did a swift roll forwards, ran onto the stone platform and followed the phantasmal pirates through the iron door.

* * *

"The rain of pain… falls mainly on… Dwayne?" mused a puppet-like ghost. He was bent over, reading a passage from a stone tablet as Link discreetly slid into the room behind them. The last part of the inscription was worn away, so the group had just been guessing anything that sounded like the classic rhyme. "I've got it! The rain of pain falls mainly on Dwayne!"

"Hey, I can hear you! That rain is not touching me!" shouted a pirate at the back, offended by the suggestion of his name.

"That's enough, Mr. Pipe. We all know that's not the answer." the captain cut in. "Think! What's painful about rain?"

"When you get struck by lightning?"

"Acid rain?"

"When it rains arrows?"

The captain's face shone purple. He whacked his cutlass against the floor. "Or maybe it could be that contraption of doom **RIGHT IN FRONT OF US**! Do you all need specs?"

Every head magnetised to the centre of the room. From the two cells that lined the corridor, this room was evidently a prison. In the middle of the corridor, two spiked, square weights, secured to the ceiling with chains, pounded the floor consecutively, one behind the other. They were tipped with rows upon rows of red-stained spikes. As one rose up, the other would smash down, creating a seemingly impassible death trap.

"Y'arr!" The ghost captain clapped his claws, materialising a scroll out of smoke for him to read. "This is very clearly the prisoner storage room of the Shadow Temple! Prisoners were kept in those cells until it was their turn to be interrogated! In the meantime, they would watch the prisoners who refused to talk walk underneath this rain of pain! We need to bypass it somehow!"

"Sir?" One man at the very back raised his arm. "We're ghosts! Can't we just… waft through it unharmed?"

"Tanglebeard! Don't you remember the time when you squatted down on the house of office earlier today? You got stung on the bum by a wasp, so you did! We are not invincible, even as ghosts! If we die as ghosts, who knows what happens to us? Better safe than sorry, that's what I say!"

"Fair enough, fair enough, but how do you plan on getting under there? We can't fly above them!"

Link looked at the worn tablet that the pirates were reading from.

 **THE RAIN OF PAIN FALLS MAINLY ON THE B_**

The first seven words were perfectly clear. The eighth was slightly bent out of shape and most of the ninth had been completely snapped out of existence.

"The rain of pain falls mainly on the… something beginning with B. It begins with B and supposedly rhymes with 'pain'..." he scratched his chin hairs and slid his finger underneath the last word. "B… Brain! The rain of pain falls mainly on the brain! But what good does that tell us?"

"What about the tablet opposite that one?" suggested Navi's muffled voice. Link turned around, seeing another sign that the pirates had somehow missed.

 **ONLY THE ONE WITH THE EYE OF TRUTH CAN LOCATE THE STONE UMBRELLA TO SHELTER FROM THE RAIN OF PAIN.**

"A stone umbrella?" Link grumbled, scratching the side of his head.

"Sounds about as useful as a chocolate teapot!" The captain's loud guffaw made Link jump, nearly backing him clean over the tablet and onto the floor. The crew had noticed the other tablet and had sneaked up on Link to read it. "A stone umbrella? Who would make an umbrella out of stone?" When a second of silence passed, the whole crowd shattered in shrieks of laughter.

"A stone umbrella! What next? A glass boat?"

"Ar, har har har! Oh, I've got one! How about a head mounted toilet paper dispenser? **HA HA HA!** "

Navi glowed again. "I don't think that tablet is literal. Link, look at the wall behind you. Where that path is over there."

Link focused the lens in on a path marked by two metal lines that seemed to just disappear as they hit the wall. He then removed the glass from his eye.

When he pulled it back, something that he could see when looking through the lens disappeared, being replaced by a standard, stone wall design.

It was a big, stone cube with the design of a crescent moon and a star. Two handles were poking out of the stone illusion and giving the look that some really strong man would have to come and yank the wall clean off.

" _The stone umbrella… the rain of pain… I have an idea!"_ He went to the two handles and gripped both of them, making sure that the bottoms of his arms faced up. Then, he dug his heels into the floor as far as they would go.

 **BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT…**

The block shook the room as it emerged from the wall. Plaster crumbled from the ceiling. Link laboured to keep his energy at its full use, pulling the block around the corner and towards the rising and falling obstacle. One of the pirates did not quite see the novelty of a block moving by itself.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH! IT'S A GHOST!** "

"We're already ghosts, you blundering plunderer! Use your noodle for one second, will you? Someone's doing all the work for us!"

Link began to cross the rain of pain's path.

 **CLANG! Clatter, clatter, clatter, clatter, CLANG! Clatter, clatter, clatter, clatter, CLANG!**

If this block was weaker than the rain, if he made one wrong move, he would end up with more holes than Swiss cheese. Even all the pirates silently watched as he took one long pause, waiting for the perfect time to strike, before jamming the block directly between the two weights.

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

One of the weights came down on it, stopping inches from Link's head.

 **KERRAAAAAAAAAASH!**

It then rose back up, dropping the other one down in its place, which was also stopped by the block. The stone umbrella was shielding him from the rain!

"I'm through!" Link called back to the pirates, who were still unable to hear him.

"Well, shiver me timbers! Someone just did that all for us! What are we waiting for, laddies? To the first goal!"

And with that, the captain and the rest all ran through Link, down the corridor and up a ladder.

* * *

Link followed the unit of pirates up the ladder, hearing them clattering up through each other all the way. The ladder stopped in an almost empty alcove high above the ground. The two items that stopped it from being completely empty consisted of one little pedestal, which held a cross on top of it. The cross was blue in the middle and lined with silver curls and waves.

"Just think, laddies!" snarled the skipper, "after we take this cross, the monster at the very end of the dungeon will be a lot easier to take down! We'll get revenge on the blighter! Once and for all, I say!" He reached his trembling hand in to the cage to seize his prize. "Finally… after all these years… we are triumphantly reaching into this very cage to grab the-"

" **JUST GRAB THE FLAMIN' CROSS ALREADY!** " shouted every single member of the crew in unison. From their tone of voice, this had probably happened dozens of times in the past. The captain almost jumped out of his skin, but the telling-off was enough to hurry him into quickly taking his prize.

All of a sudden, a tremendous roar cut through the darkness. It came from miles and miles away, yet it still ruffled the cobwebs like hair in wind. The monster at the end had been weakened.

"Men! Back to the boat!" ordered the captain, pointing back the way they came, "We set sail to the next stop!"

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea, and I no longer wonder at the cruelty of pirates._ _"_


	50. Tall Paul

After receiving the cross at the end of the rain of pain and weakening the main monster, Link and the pirates boarded the Ghost Ship once more. One more argument from the pirates on how to work the boat again and one song from Link later, they were speeding through the sea of mist once again. This time, Link decided to ride in the bottom of the ship in the galley. Needless to say, this was a lot more tolerable. Every once in a while, a spook would phase in through the door to cook a ghostly meal, but they didn't notice Link sitting on a stool, waiting for their next destination.

"I wonder what we need to do next..." Link mused to himself. "Whatever it is, it must be worse than the rain of pain and that's really saying something." He looked out the cracked, dusty window at the specks of dust that shot past. It looked like he was travelling through a snowstorm, which in turn looked like he was zooming through a wormhole into another dimension.

" **STOP!** "

As quickly as it had launched, the mighty boat juddered to a fast halt. Link held the windowsill tightly before he got hurled across the room, smashing into a pile of beer kegs.

"I say, give the brakes a break, will you?" the captain grumbled upstairs. Link surfaced in the sea of alcohol, the bitter taste of it permeating his tongue.

"I think we're here, for some reason." Navi joked, swimming in Scotch inside Link's headgear.

* * *

The plank was extended to the land and pirate after pirate marched in a single file line to the next obstacle, Link closely following behind. In the distance, he could hear something slicing through the air as well as stone scraping together. All the buccaneers huddled around their captain, trying to read his scroll over his shoulder. For a moment, Link thought they were ghosts and nearly walked straight into the metal door they phased through. When he opened it, he took a rather uncomfortable step back and closed the door at what spun on the other side.

The pirates stared, jaws agape like the faces of a totem pole, at their next obstacle. A petrified pair of grim reapers, standing back to back, wielding scythes and spinning in circles like they were the workings of a giant lawnmower. Either that or they were doing a very deadly dance together.

"What is keeping this place working?" the captain grumbled, folding his scroll up. "This is definitely the place! Someone! Get started, will ya?"

"Him!"

Two of the men turned instantly, pointing at each other simultaneously. Their hands started quivering with rage. "Do I look like I want my head chopped off?" one of them snarled to the other.

"Not that you'd miss yours." retorted the other. The two rivals locked gazes, growling at each other but not yet at blows. They managed to stop as the captain cocked his fist and threw a blow.

His closed hand stopped inches before them, grabbing their attention for a few seconds. Luckily for them, he had no intention of lending a bunch of fours. He pushed something in the palm of his hand upwards, baring two toothpicks. "One of you, pick one. If you get the big one, you don't have to go. Deal?"

One of the two fighting ghosts, the smaller one, stepped forward before the other tall and lanky one could, tittering with relief. The captain had done a truly abhorrent job of hiding the length of the bits of wood. He could see the other end of the longer one sticking out under his closed fist! He didn't have to risk his second life! He reached for it, the one on his left, pulled it out and ended up with… only half of what he saw. The captain had snapped that toothpick in half and placed the other end directly under one of the straws, giving the illusion that they were both one long straw.

"Hey, wait a minute! I've been had!" he cried out, but his tall opponent crossed his arms and smugly nodded his head. "You're not making me go through that grass-cutter of doom! You can't make me!"

* * *

Just as the deal had said, the pirate who lost scuttled under the metal edges of the spinning scythes like a crab. The rest fortunate enough to have not taken the shady captain up on his offer watched expectantly. Link had found the courage to open the door again and peek through himself.

 **WHOOOOOOOOSH!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH! IT MADE A LUNGE AT ME!** " screamed the pirate, flattening himself to pancake levels. The scythes had swung over him once more.

" **ARE YOU A PIRATE OR A COWARDLY CUSTARD, YOU SCALLYWAG?** " the captain furiously shook his cutlass and stomped on the dusty floor. The 'volunteer' continued quivering.

"I swear it's getting lower!"

"Just keep looking! If this isn't rigged, you'll find some way to disable it. Maybe a lever or something?"

"All there is to see here are skulls and bits of stone!"

Link walked his way to the front of the crowd to observe. The "mean and nasty pirate" was laying on the floor, vibrating like a mobile phone with his bum in the air, nearly getting relieved of it because of the giant blades whirling above it.

"Such a big contraption should have something turning it." Link deduced. Navi whispered back.

"I can see something moving to your right!"

"What is it?" Link followed her directions. Back against the wall, hidden by a hollow wall of bricks with a few missing lay a spinning, wooden wheel. A green rope was tied to it and it flailed around with the giant cog.

"See that? I bet you anything that stopping the wheel over there will stop the statue as well!"

"Stay there, Navi! I'm going in!" Link told his companion. He ran quickly before he could change his mind, rolling under the sweeper, getting back up and leaping a slash once again. He dived through the air, just squashing against the side of the wall When the rope surfaced, Link seized it and yanked it to a stop, grinding the wooden cogs to a standstill. Just as swiftly as they ground to a halt, the two reapers stopped revolving.

"Oi!" the captain called. "What did you press over there?"

"Nothing! Honest, I didn't!" prattled the volunteer, "It's that invisible thing again! The one from the rain of pain!"

"Well, I'll be! He appears to be no threat! Men, lets find that talisman and weaken the monster even more!"

A chorus of cheers roared from the crowd as supernatural cutlasses, telescopes, eye patches and even false beards were thrown sky high like they were all at a graduation ceremony of sorts.

* * *

It was only a matter of time from then until someone discovered a hollow patch of tiles on the floor and used their peg leg to destroy one of the bricks, uncovering a hidden tunnel. One damp and cramped crawl for everyone later and they had made it to the other end, covered with worms and dank dirt.

They were now standing in an alter or a small chapel of some kind. The room space was very limited, but that wasn't a problem when Link was standing in a room full of ghosts, was it?

Another pedestal was erected at the far end by a fake stained glass window. Inside the crown of gold bars was what appeared to be a flask of some kind. It looked like Link's own bottle, but the cork had a small, bronze cross stuck on top of it.

"Ah, Holy Water, so it is!" sneered the captain. He cracked his knuckles, reached in and grabbed the flask, resulting in another plaster-loosening shriek from deep in the belly of the dungeon.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

"Lemme 'ave a sip, mate!" drooled a comrade, "I'm parched!" The captain quickly yanked the flask out of reach.

"Knowing you, you'd probably burn up from the inside if you drank this stuff! Think with your head and not with your stomach!"

"But Holy Water only burns evil… Hey!"

"Ah, quit your lip flapping! We only have a few more to go! Back to the ship, I say!"

* * *

 **SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH!**

The boat stopped in an instant for the third time. Not even hiding in the galley cupboard was enough for Link to stay upright. The sudden emergency stop sent Link flying out the flapping door and into the wreckage of scotch barrels once again.

"Stop bricking the brakes!" screamed the captain, "You're meant to throw the anchor overboard **after** we stop the boat! If you keep this up, you'll break something!"

"But I am braking something! The boat!"

" **GAH!** Never mind! Lets just get the next talisman and be done with it!"

Covered in whisky, Link got off the ship and joined the pirates on a metal grate that hung over the pit of nothing. What was his obstacle this time?

 **A GIANT WALL.**

He couldn't go over it. He couldn't go under it. Could he go through it, though?

…

…

…

No. He was seven years too late. Everyone surrounded a small vent in the wall that was seemingly only big enough to fit a child or a ghost, since the latter would just be able to phase through the thin walls regardless of their girth.

The commander hunched over to read an inscription that had been carved into the wall in a rushed manner. Everyone leaned in to try and listen to his incoherent mutterings.

"Crawl… tunnel… red hot… safe… crack the code… **RIGHT!** Two of you, come forward now!"

"I volunteer Mr. Cotton Bud over there!" called the same pirate that had been tricked with the toothpicks earlier. The tall, slim pirate whipped around to him in disbelief.

"Oi! I can't fit through there! I'm taller than you!"

" **YOU ARE A GHOST!** A measly wall won't stop you!"

"Why can't you go, then? Afraid of falling through the floor?"

" **QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEET!** " bellowed the captain. Both competitors stopped fighting instantly and stood erect, facing him with a salute and a rather cheesy smile to save face. "It doesn't matter who's more physically capable of winning, it's about quantity! Both of you, get into that tunnel this instant! I expect to hear that monster scream its lungs out within precisely five minutes or I am keelhauling you both!"

"What's that supposed to do? It doesn't exactly work when there's no water under the boat!"

" **STOP NATTERING AND GET IN THERE!** "

* * *

The two rivalling pirates scurried through the web of thin tunnels. They were ghosts, so they could phase through the walls slightly to get extra room, but they couldn't exactly fly. If they went too far to the left or right, they would tumble out the side and…

…

um…

What exactly would happen in that situation? Would they reach the bottom of the earth and keep falling? Would they start falling in a certain direction for a few thousands of miles and then start going back the other way? No matter, sharing the space proved to be quite difficult, especially because they decided to move side by side instead of single file.

"Ughl Would you move your elbow?" heaved the smaller thief.

"Gladly, if you would stop hogging all the room!"

"I only need more room because I'm the one doing all the work!"

"What work do we have to share?"

"Why can't we just travel in single file like normal ghosts would?

"Aargh! I ought to have you… Oh, look! We're there!"

The taller man punched a dark, wooden trapdoor down with an almighty snap. Both of them peered down into the hollow shaft. Lava gurgled below them, the bubbles rising and popping like the surface of gratin. The mere presence of it made for icy hot conditions, and their apparent goal was near level with the stuff.

"I'm guessing we're aiming for that giant safe over there. See it? The big, metal door with the round handle and the rolling slots under it. We just have to work out the code for it." mused the matchstick man, stroking his bald head.

"And I know just how to do it!" the other one declared, raising his index finger. He reached down into his abundant beard and produced something new from it. It was a monaural, wooden tube covered with cursive writing from a feathered pen. It looked like he had just picked it up from a music room. "I invented this in bed last night! You use it against stuff like that door when you're figuring out the code so you can hear the workings inside!"

The lanky pirate whistled. "Impressive…"

"Lower me down." With that, the pirate produced a ghostly pulley roller from his beard, rope and all, and strapped a leather belt around his waist.

"Cor! I wish I had a beard if I could do all that with it!" The gangling buccaneer took the metal hook of the pulley and attached it to his partner's belt. Discreetly, he fingered a thick book in his back pocket that he had planned on reading since morning. Peace at last!

* * *

"When I reach the safe, stop rolling the crank!" instructed the abseiler, ready to be lowered to the goods. Not really paying too much attention, the belaying pirate gave a half-hearted salute.

"Okey-dokey!"

"When I tug on the rope, pull me back up!"

"Okey-dokey!"

"Make sure you pay attention! If anything goes wrong, I'll end up in the spicy drink, and I may be a ghost but that doesn't mean I can't die again!"

"Okey-dokey!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Okey- Yes, yes I am! Something about spicy drinks? What kind? I love spicy things!"

"Just… Just lower me down, OK?"

The jumper spread his arms like the Angel of the North and stood straight up, facing the hole and ending up with his upper half wafting through the low ceiling, before performing a spectacular dive. His companion spinning the crank backwards stopped him in midair and he slowly started dropping towards the lava like a spider descending from a web. The pulley spun at a consistent speed throughout the lowering, and the safe was getting closer and closer. The pirate took out his contraption to start cracking as he glided towards his destination, but…

…his belaying man didn't stop working. He must have got carried away because the larcenist went straight past the code rollers and straight towards the blazing embers of the lava below him. " **HEY!** " he cried up, flailing his arms like a cat clawing at a ball of wool. "Stop lowering me, you homespun halfwit! That's enough!"

Back at the top of the tunnel, the thin pirate at the top lay on his back, spinning the pulley lever with his foot. He was completely oblivious to his fellow pirate's peril, having buried himself in his big book of pirate anecdotes from years and years ago.

The screaming spectre felt heat at his bum, getting increasingly close to the lava. He swiftly grabbed onto the rope and started climbing back up, only completely stopping his descent rather than ascending. " **MATCHSTICK MAN, STOP!** "

 **Hisssss…**

Like an egg making first contact with a frying pan, the pirate found his bottom briefly touch the flaming death pit. He quickly felt it burning and almost jumped straight into the ceiling, his smoking bottom beginning to catch fire. " **TALL PAUL, STOP! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!** "

Back up at the top, the belaying pillager put his book down, having reached the end of the first chapter and also because he heard a familiar scream coming from below him. He took one look down the shaft and that was all he needed to notice that he had REALLY mucked up this plan. He grabbed hold of the pulley with both arms and started revolving it anti-clockwise, dragging the bungee jumper upwards. It goes without saying that he was NOT amused. Still, he reached the metal door, raised his little tube and held one end to the door and all the mechanics.

The tall pirate watched in astonishment from above, watching his co-worker fiddle around with the first dial. When he heard a loud click from inside the door, he moved onto the next dial. By repeating the process, the pirate cracked the whole code and was able to turn the handle of the safe. He reached inside and quickly grabbed something before tugging on the rope. Mr. Matchstick started spinning the handle towards himself, lifting his partner back into the vent.

At that moment, another earsplitting bellow cut through almost all of Hyrule.

" **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

* * *

The pirate that did the safebreaking and the swipe was spared no questions as he was hauled back into the tunnel. "What did you get? A holy book? More Holy Water? Ganondorf's head on a plate?"

"Check this out!" The shorter pirate showed what he got from the safe. It was a combat axe. It wasn't built for chopping down trees. It had a considerably short handle, but it had two blades opposite each other. This was meant to be thrown at enemies in an arc and it would do some serious damage! It had already done some to the ominous enemy at the end of the Shadow Temple just from its removal so just what would it do in combat?

"We've made our boss scream before, but never with joy! That will all change today!"

* * *

The sound of shuffling caught the rest of the crew's attention. Link's ears perked up, as did Navi's wings. Had the two bungling burglars come back with the goods? Coming off of the terrible scream he had just heard, he had a hunch that something good had happened.

The two translucent men clambered out of the tunnel, the thin one brandishing an axe above his head. " **I HAVE IT! I HAVE IT! I HAVE IT! THE AXE OF DIN, OR WHICHEVER GODDESS THIS BELONGS TO!** "

Everyone in the crew, barring the captain, hit the floor swiftly, screaming wildly. Even Link prepared to draw his sword at the axe-wielding maniac in front of him.

The spindly seafarer lowered his axe and looked around unmindfully. "What? Have you all never seen an axe before?"

" **CURSE ME CUTLASS!** Don't just go around waving axes at people like a blasted lunatic! You'll get killed again if you do that to the wrong person! Wait… is that..."

"You bet it is!" finished the small pirate that had retrieved the axe in the first place. "We just have one more treasure to go and it is 923 light years away!"

"Ah, so not all that far! Indiana, go easy on the speed this time, will you? We don't all feel like losing our lunch from your sudden stops!"

"Light years?" Link whispered up to Navi.

"Oh, those? Light years are how far light travels in a year. In other words, around… six million million miles." Navi responded.

"Six million milli- That's one whopping big number. How far would this trip be?"

"That's a six with twelve zeroes, multiply that by 923 and you get..." Link noticed Navi rapidly changing colours inside his hat. He recognised light grey as confusion, purple as bemused, red as frustrated and finally, she reverted back to her normal blue. "...probably a bigger number than there are atoms in the world!"

"This is not going to end well..."

 **HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!**

The ship's horn blasted as the crew started to get on their boat and find the last key to defeating the scourge of the Shadow Temple. Link took the hint as well. The ship couldn't leave without his tunes. Making sure Navi was still hidden, he climbed a rope ladder on the ship's side and joined everyone else.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none._ _"_


	51. Shadow Beast

The captain may have said to slow down the journey to the next and final treasure that would weaken whatever monstrosity lay in wait, but that didn't stop the driver of the boat from flooring it anyway. It may have felt slower to all the other pirates, but Link still shot across the room and ended up getting a squeezebox stuck on his head as he flew past. The G-force pressed him to the wall like flowers into a book while the instrument bent up and down in panic.

 **EEEEEEE-OOOOOOOARRR! EEEEEEE-OOOOOOOARRR! EEEEEEE-OOOOOOOARRR!**

The light years passed like minutes. In the last few trips, they had flew by in seconds. In a way, going slower was worse than going faster because Link wasn't used to travelling past millions and millions and millions of miles per hour, so he wouldn't feel the benefit of the slower trip, but it would last much longer.

The millions turned into thousands, the thousands turned into hundreds, the hundreds turned into tens, the tens turned into units and the ship rocked to a stop. Link barged out the door and tripped up the stairs, furiously yanking on the squeezebox to get it off his head. His shouting and gasping was cut off by the bellowing bellows, which began to sound like screams themselves.

 **EEEEEEE-YOOOOOOOAAAAAAAR! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR… YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR…**

"Get off! Get off, get off!" Link finally managed to wrench the instrument off his head, pitching it through the air and to the deck. One look around and he realised the had gone stumbling up the steps and onto the deck in his blindness.

"Where do we get off the boat?" Navi questioned. Link put the Lens of Truth back up to try and locate the pirate crew, but he couldn't see any traces of green, wispy ghost smoke. On the other hand, when he equipped it he could hear some noises below deck.

"What are we stopping for? What's going on?" A rather wide wraith stamped out onto the deck in his ghost bedwear, woken from a sound sleep because of the vehicle coming to a stop. He could tell he hadn't arrived because of the lack of clamour coming from everyone else.

The place smelled of earth and rot. Link could see some guillotines hanging loosely from chains that were close to breaking Decomposed skulls also poked out from the brick wall. Link had a rather foreboding feeling, like he was riding Epona through a misty forest and was forced to stop because of his steed's fatigue. He felt defenceless, like someone on a road trip whose ride ground to a halt in the middle of nowhere.

Anything to eat, maybe? Link opened his pack and reached inside, rummaging his hand through the bag, which went further down than the Challenger Deep. Amongst all the rupees he had stealthily scavenged from hacking at the undergrowth on his way to the Forest Temple, through the cluster of all the items he had amassed from the rest of his quest, he felt his fingers collide harshly with what seemed like a rock.

"Since when have I been storing rocks in here?" Link mused to himself as he grasped it and began to surface his find, "Maybe Darunia put it in here because he forgot I can't eat them?" He thought this was pretty likely but what he pulled out did not resemble a rock in the slightest. It looked like a loaf of bread, it smelled a bit solid and it felt like a bit of debris. "Oh, he tried to trick me! Painting a rock to look like bread, eh?"

"That's just regular bread!" Navi said in muted tones, "How long have you been keeping that in there? It's gone hard as a boulder!"

"Maybe, um… since after the Fire Temple?"

"That wasn't all that long ago. Are you sure it wasn't from when you were a child?"

"Pretty certain. It would just be a big, grey mess of mould by now if I travelled forwards through time with it."

Another translucent man came out of the door. He was wearing what looked like a pilot's uniform. A leather jacket, baggy trousers and some homemade goggles. "Bad news, crew! Some joker got into the works and jammed it!" He spoke in a rather confident, yet clueless tone. "I thought the expert compass I had would guide us straight to the last place we need to go, but… I must have accidentally fitted it in upside down and wore the boat's energy out."

"You blazin' nutcase!" the captain growled, emerging from his quarters in his own pyjamas. He grabbed the ghost helmsman by the beard and yanked him close, almost ripping some of his hairs out. "You're our helmsman! How can you steer a ship but you don't know which way up a compass goes?"

"I swear it was the right way up when I put it in!"

"It obviously wasn't! You have a lot of explaining to do if you don't want to see what we're sailing on!"

* * *

As the captain and the seafarer squabbled, Link slipped back into the hollow hull of the boat, looking for a map that could show where they were. If he could take control of the ship and navigate his way around in place of the current navigator, he, with his natural navigation skills he had from seeing Saria in the Sacred Forest Meadow, could turn the whole adventure around, both literally and figuratively.

"Sign!" pointed out Navi, green and hovering around an arrowed board that pointed down a small staircase.

"That could lead to anything! What if I walked into the bathroom while someone was in there?"

"They can't see you, remember? The living can't see the dead and vice versa!"

"Still, imagine being on the bog and then the door just swings open!"

"That's definitely the sign to the steering wheel. I can see it!" Navi, pinging yellow like a lightbulb, flew down the stairs and looked through a little arch. "There's even a man at it!"

Link curiously followed his partner and peeked his head around the side of the door into the room, neglecting to wear the Lens of Truth. No matter, he could see a man, arms loose and head bowed, cutting a black shape against the cheap, lavender curtain behind him which let a little light into the room. He could also make out the outline of the steering wheel, which looked like a spider's web.

"I wonder if he's the friendly type..." Link mused to himself. He sensed Navi jolt behind him.

"You can see him without the lens?" she questioned. Link looked over at her.

"Of course I can! It… Wait a minute!" Link looked back at the man, but it was no longer by the wheel.

It was right in front of him, reaching its bandaged arms towards him, though they did not advance.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

It towered over them, mouth wide open, jaw slack, reaching out. The only parts of it that moved were the loose ends of its bandages, which rocked left and right like metronomes.

"Keep looking at it, Link! Keep looking at it!" Navi said, shaking. She was just as scared as her partner, but her tone implied that she was taking it clearly in her stride.

"Why?"

"That's a Gibdo! When you're not looking at it, it's just a Redead. When you can see it, it is uncontrollably wrapped in binding bandages that stop it from moving! Don't stop looking at it whatever you do!"

"Aren't Redeads… slow? If I get a safe enough distance away then I can-"

"Don't! These ones are fast. Faster than you can ever predict. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. You can't even blink."

"I can't blink? Never mind that, I'm too scared to blink."

"We need to go and lead the pirates to it. Come with me..." Link didn't break the thread of his gaze at the Gibdo, instead choosing to walk backwards. He had almost got all the way around the corner before Navi spoke up again. "All right, we can't both get around the corner at once without taking our eyes off it, so you stay here."

"What?"

"I'll just be outside. The pirates will be able to see and hear me out in the open, so I'll warn them."

Link immersed himself in the sudden staring contest, forgetting that it would probably be safer for Navi to watch the Gibdo from high up so she could blink without getting caught. He heaved, sweat weighing down his gold locks and into his eyes. They itched to blink, but Link wasn't going to scratch at that. What would this Gibdo do if it got close enough? Would it bite his head off like the one in the Graveyard tried to do? Would it vaporise him? Would it snap his neck?

"It locked the door when we looked away from it the first time!" Navi called downstairs. Link could hear her ramming her little body against the door.

"But I only looked at you for a second!"

"I said it was fast! What if more are here? What if they come up behind me!"

Navi was silent, leaving Link to watch over the mummy, which held its frozen, icy stare.

"There's a keyhole here!" announced Navi triumphantly.

"You think I can squeeze through that?"

"No, not you! Me! I'll go through it and see if the pirates can help us! You keep that one in check!"

"Why can't I just slash it with the Master Sword?"

"Its bandages cannot be damaged with anything. You need to attack it while it can move!"

"How do I attack something that fast if I can't see it?"

"You don't! Stay put, all right?"

"But… oh… oh, Hylia..."

Link couldn't hold his reflexes back much longer. He found an idea to close one eye at a time, but that didn't help with the dryness. He could hear Navi in the background squirming through the small opening in the door. Eventually, he couldn't do anything but the worst thing possible.

He shut his his eyes. By the time you read the first half of 'he', the Gibdo had moved forward again. It was now inches from his face, its breath didn't seem to be present, but he could smell its malodorous, rotting body underneath it's bandages.

"Navi! **NAVI!** " he cried at the top of his lungs. "I can't do this! Navi, hurry up! Where are you?"

 **Creeeeeeeak…**

A noise behind Link made him very nearly look behind him. Who knows what would have happened if he did. Instead he raised the Lens of Truth, suspecting that the pirates had come down.

"In the steering quarters, you say?" he heard the captain ramble.

"Yes! Down the steps! Hurry! He can't keep his eyes open for much longer!" Navi replied. The pounding boots got prominent before Link saw a green hue outline his sight.

"Curse me cutlass!" the captain exclaimed, "The fairy cake is right! How did he get in here?"

Navi returned to Link. "The crew will handle it from here. You go to the deck!"

"Can't stay here!" Link mused to no one in particular. He stole a quick look around him with his lens to make sure the pirates had the Gibdo chained with their eyes and when he felt safe, he fled. Down the steps further and further, tripping over himself as he went and not even trying to find the deck. He could go down further than he could go up and that was good enough for him.

He ran around the corner, opened the nearest door and slammed it shut behind him, grateful that the musty smell indicated the presence of no one.

"Thank goodness!" he said breathlessly to Navi, "Where are the lights in this room?"

"I got it!"

Link heard a match strike before a series of candles above him flared up. Next time he saw Navi, she was holding an entire box of matches in her two hands. It had taken her a long time, but she was beginning to be able to get stronger.

"Nice one, Navi!"

"Thanks, but we should hide somewhere in case there's another Gibdo somewhere."

"Good idea… What about that wardrobe?"

A wardrobe sat at the other side of the room, directly against the back wall. The doors were more colourful than the Shadow Temple could ever hope of being. Even if a birthday party was held for one of the many spooks, this wardrobe would make that frolic look like a funeral in comparison. Its doors were purple and yellow, it was covered in party hats and streamers and it was rather hefty.

" _The perfect place to plan ahead!"_ thought Link, giving himself permission to grin before running in and shutting the door discreetly.

…

…

…

" **Faaaaaaaate...** "

Link felt something sharp and curved press against his neck.

He felt lifeless, insentient breath tingling his back and poisoning his nose.

Finally, he felt something rough brushing against his leg.

" **DESTINY!** "

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** " screeched Navi, filling the space with a red glow. In her newfound light, Link found what was against his neck to be a claw of some kind. It had been stained for years with dark brown blood and the hand holding it looked like it was made out of cheap papier-mâché wrapped in toilet paper. Link rolled out the way just before his neck could be split, breaking the doors off the wardrobe and rolling to a stop. The new monster ambled out after him, framed in Navi's red glow that she used to signal danger.

It was a Gibdo, except armed. It was a Gibdo, except capable of movement even when being observed. It had plenty of openings in its bandages so if Link aimed his attacks in its uncovered areas, the fight would fit his needs like a glove.

Except something was telling Link not to attack, even in the face of a deranged mummy brandishing an ancient claw like a knife. Navi shouted words of encouragement to him, but Link heard them as if he were underwater. He was too interested in what the mummy was saying to him.

" **Faaaaaaaaate... tiiiiiiiiiiiime… destinyyyyyyyyyy...** "

What was Link's fate that this monster was talking about? Why was the mummy slurring about time? What did the soldier's destiny have to do with anything?

"Do I… know you?" Link civilly asked, knowing the only response he'd get is a very drawn out moan. Navi didn't say anything but look back and forth between her friend and her foe. She didn't know what to say and she was choking on her own words, shocked.

Link's kindness seemed to give the mummy sentience, as it smiled, a pleasant sigh escaping his warped lips. It raised its claw knife again, but in a distinctively non-hostile manner. It then dropped it to the floor with a loud **CLINK** that drowned out every other sound in the room. The mummy made no movements as Link reached down and picked it up-

" **AAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

-and heard the same scream he had been hearing every time he collected a talisman.

This was the last talisman? On the boat all along? Why this? Why the claw of a mad monkey he had slain as a-

"Wait!" Link exclaimed, stepping back against the wall and dropping the claw. "I know you! You're the soldier! All that time ago, when me and Malon tried to save you at Castle Town… we wrapped you up in bandages and then you passed!"

The mummy stopped moving and then stood upright like a soldier standing at attention. He breathed out shallowly like air coming out a hole in a bag, raising his hand to his forehead in a slow salute.

" **Destiny…** **I help...** "

Link picked up the claw of the barbaric baboon that had met its end at the hands of a younger, more naive self. The claw of Kamakuma. "Not any more, Zabal." he said to the man. "You are relieved of your duties."

It wasn't long after that until Mr. Zinzendorff vanished from his eyes, crumbling apart painlessly into dust and leaving his bandages behind.

The fourth and final gift to weakening whatever the target was had been revealed.

"Navi, go and tell the pirates, will you? They'll lead us straight to whatever we've been chasing!"

"The claw being in the ship is probably why the compass turned itself upside down in the first place. Just hold still and I'll go and talk to them."

With that, the pixie squeezed through the keyhole once more and travelled up the stairs. She could have waited until Link opened the door, because it was unlocked. Link followed after her, replacing the Lens of Truth over his eye and encountering the pirates, who were already conversing with his companion.

"So what's this you're saying? The last thing we needed to get was some karambit claw that an old soldier held for seven years?" one of them asked incredulously. Navi nodded.

"And the claw was right in our ship this whole time?" the captain stuttered. Navi murmured a noise of affirmation.

"Explains why my compass twisted itself upside down… I think..." muttered the helmsman in a tone that sounded like he was trying to use that as an excuse for his own incompetence.

"Well, to the underworld with the rest of it!" the captain precipitously shouted across the ship, "The monster's weak! Lets finish him off for good!"

* * *

 **SPLAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

The ship slowed to a tremendous degree for the last time, but it had nothing to do with braking. The vessel had hit a liquid of some kind and the resistance had absorbed the boat's velocity. Link found a window and took a look outside. It didn't surprise him that he could see nothing. This was the Shadow Temple after all, not the Temple of Sunshine and Rainbows. Despite the lack of sight, he could smell something.

Poison. It had that distinctive, pungent whiff that was comparable to how blood tastes.

"This is the Lake of No Return!" Navi said, now comfortable with flying over Link's head than hiding in his hat. "We're getting close to the enemy!"

" **LAND HO!** " the navigator shouted from the top of the crow's nest. A rattle jostled the entire boat as it began to steadily turn to the left.

 **BOOM!**

The side of the boat scraped against the lip of an island, juddering to a halt. The impact was so fierce that the window Link had been looking out of completely shattered, letting the stench and cold air in further.

"We're there! Everybody out!" the helmsman ordered. Instead of going out through the door like everyone else, Link climbed the window frame, grabbed hold of the islands side and leaped onto the flat surface. The island he stood on seemed… slightly hollow and it felt like an animal's skin.

A wooden board was lowered down onto the land and all the spectral thieves boarded their new island.

"All right, you scallywag or whatever you are!" hollered the captain, raising his cutlass. "We've found your one weakness! Or… your four, to be exact! Come out and face us!"

 **BOOM!**

Something beat the side of the island, sending a powerful, growling vibration throughout the circumference. It was so strong that Link and the entire pirate crew were almost sent staggering to the floor.

 **BOM… BOM… BOM…**

Something else tapped the rim of the island thrice, making a loud but weak noise.

 **BOOM!**

The other object crashed back down, staggering Link once more. The plank that had been used as a bridge on the island bounced up and down from the force.

 **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!**

A rhythm started up from two gargantuan hands at around 185 beats per minute, mercilessly playing what was actually not an island but a great big drum like it was playing the bongos for someone's execution. With every **BOOM** , Link was forced to jump so he wouldn't be sent flying.

Just as the hands faded into reality, a different shape pieced itself together, shining a blood red beacon through the dead land. The monster resembled a muscly man with disembodied hands and an eye instead of a head, hanging upside down from a void. A world of nothing.

" **Bongo, bongo, bongo, BONGO, BONGO, BONGO, BONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGO**!"

Its cyclopean eye narrowed into a semicircle, glaring at Link and the ship he had come from as his beat got faster and faster and faster.

He had angered the Dastardly Demon Drummer of the Desolate Deep of the Dead:

 **BONGO BONGO.**

…

'Bongo Bongo?' We're calling it 'Bongo Bongo'? Honestly, I've heard of preschool toys with scarier names than that!

* * *

"Well, hurl me hurdy-gurdy!" exclaimed the captain as he rapidly bounced from the monster's beat, "Someone, get in the ship and make sure it doesn't float away!"

"I'll go!" the helmsman declared, scurrying up the leaping ramp and getting on his vessel. He spun the handles on a large, horizontal wheel to lower the anchor before disappearing to the steering wheel.

Back at the fight, Link's first thought was to get out the Lens of Truth. Not only did he see all the pirates, who looked like they were dancing from the earthshaking music, but he also saw Bongo Bongo's full body, which had faded back into the shadows after his brief reveal. Putting the lens down to free his hands, he speedily nocked his bow to paralyse the causes of the earthquakes. First, he went for the most powerful one which kept launching the crew into the air with every hit.

 **TWOIIING!**

To his… actual expectancy, the hand raised itself into the air deliberately to dodge his shot, which disappeared into the inky darkness. All this accomplished was throwing it off its beat for a fraction of a second.

 **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!**

Its rhythm was very accurate and consistent. Not once did it mess up or pause, other than to dodge every arrow thrown its way.

"It's not vulnerable to arrows!" "That's weird, I always thought it was!"

"If it's not weak to arrows… I have an idea!"

Link turned to run back into the ship, but he heard one of the hands click behind him. His instincts turned his head, alerting him to the spirit's right hand positioned horizontally and speeding through the air like a blade, sure to cleanly rip his head off if it hit. Link ducked to the floor, letting the hand glide over him and barely miss the boat. The drumming started up once more, but Link boarded the ship and hid inside of it through the door, reducing the noise so it sounded like mere, distant thunder.

"Mido would always tell me off for drumming on the dinner table, but he should meet the chap out there!" he muttered to himself, feeling the vibrations of Bongo Bongo's music against the pirate ship. He made a break for it into the captain's quarters. The duvet was flicking up and down from the thundering blasts outside, but Link could hear rattling coming from a nearby chest.

He could hear metal, glass, water and a sharp edge all clattering together.

Link opened the chest, seeing a flask of Holy Water, a cross and an axe. In other words, what he had been collecting throughout the Shadow Temple. These were Bongo Bongo's weaknesses! Not just because they weakened it when possessed, but because they could be used as weapons!

"I know how this is going to end already! Lets go and get him!" Link smirked to Navi.

* * *

 **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!** **BOM, BOM, BOM, BOOM!**

The giant's fists swatted at all the ghost pirates, many of which were clambering up onto its fingers and stabbing through them. Link noticed because random little cuts were popping up all over the skin of the hands. While it was nice they were helping them, attacks from such weapons would probably feel like a light scratch with a fingernail.

Link, on the other hand, had a throwing axe, a cross, some Holy Water and Kamakuma's claw. He emerged from the pirate ship, ran down the quivering ramp and chucked the throwing axe straight at what was probably Bongo Bongo's dominant hand. The axe spun as it travelled in a wide arc, slicing up the air before going after the demonic mitt.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!** "

On contact, the axe vanished and the hand it hit turned blue. It effected the great beast severely, as its hand convulsed and thrashed in pain. Its other hand went for revenge and crawled across the drum like a spider. It then curled its index finger behind its thumb before flicking. Link used the springy surface of the drum, going flying up and over it. He landed behind it, taking out the bottle of Holy Water and launching it with all his might.

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Yet another pained scream thundered through the cavern, this time because a fire started from the sacred liquid, growing to the size of a bonfire and scorching the shadow beast's hand. Link looked directly in between the two using the Lens of Truth. The red eye of the beast materialised in the dark, beating like a heart. He then saw it narrow and the monster's entire body dropped down to charge like a steamroller.

" **Bongo, Bongo, Bongo, Bongo, BONGO, BONGO, BONGO, BONGO, BONGO, BONGO, BONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGOBONGO!** "

The baritone voice raised and raised in volume, sweeping the pirates back with it as if they were pieces of rubbish in the path of a street cleaner. Penultimately, Link took out the blue and silver cross, lobbing it like a boomerang at the approaching danger.

The cross produced a sickening crunching noise on contact before disappearing, a cloud of gold smoke paralysing the almighty foe. It slid across the drum, weak and fragile, as Link readied the last of the Shadow Temple's treasures. Kamakuma's claw.

Bongo Bongo had been dramatically weakened by the removal of the four treasures. It had been struck with three of them, and was about to be killed by the last. Its eye got wider and wider as its voice suddenly cracked.

" **BONGO, BONGO,** **BONGO, BONGO, BONGO!** "

 **SSSSSSSSSSSSSCHLICHT!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

 **SSSSSSSSSSSSSCHCHCHLLLLLLLLLLLLLCHT!**

" **AEAEAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!** "

Link hesitated on the last strike slightly, repulsed by the sight of Bongo Bongo's mangled eye, but in the end he decided to be humane, striking it out of all its suffering and detaching it from whatever it hung from. Its huge body snaked into the poisonous sea, which fizzed and bubbled as it broke the spirit down into nothing.

The warrior looked behind himself wearing his Lens, ready to see the pirates all celebrating up a storm, but he couldn't see them. He couldn't even see their ship.

He couldn't even see the bongo drum he stood on. It had suddenly morphed into a waterlogged pedestal.

The sea of poison was no more as well. Now it was a set of various waterfalls, all cascading downwards in a ring around him, signalling the presence of the next sage.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _I'm not a singer who plays a bit of drums. I'm a drummer that sings a bit._ _"_


	52. The Human Boulder

"You..." Link said at the sage who stood on the purple pedestal. "You are… I remember you."

The woman, the Sage of the Shadows, had emerged out of a silhouette that made Link mistake her for Sheik at first but he soon recognised her. In his defence, the two shared many similarities. They were both of the Sheikah, they were both ninjas and they both stood in a similar way.

"You do, as do I with you." responded the woman. "I am Impa, the Sage of the Shadows. Thanks to your growth, you were able to take down the shadow beast. In a disturbingly fast time, may I add. You are definitely growing as a fighter."

"The shadow beast is dead, but… what about all the pirates?" Link asked her.

"They have passed on, having fulfilled their mission. Additionally, your open-mindedness allowed my page, Zabal, to peacefully pass on with them."

"Sheik told me that the sage of this place would know where Zelda is. Where is she? Is she alive?"

Impa shook her head, but not to answer his question. "For her safety, I cannot give her whereabouts. However, she is alive and well."

"When will I be able to meet her again?"

"She'll always be with you. Always. When you can meet face to face, make sure to guard her, will you?"

Link stood straight and saluted her. "For always and always. With my life, commander!"

"Now I put my power, which should be useful to you, in this special medallion!"

Impa took a deep breath, placing her fists together and sticking her index fingers upwards in a ninja pose of sorts. Her shadow, despite her not moving, stretched forwards to meet with Link's. He looked down to it, noticing that the shadow was reaching its arms out towards him, holding something round and thin. Falteringly, Link moved his shadow so it took the item and the second he did, something heavy nearly dragged him down and into the water. He focused in front of him, a dark purple coin laying in his arms. This one was designed with an inverted triangle in the middle, with three dots connecting with all three sides.

"As soon as the tormentor of the Sheikah is defeated, they can all be at peace, just like your friend and the pirates." Impa had every right and every reason to hate Ganondorf, yet she said that without a hint of anger.

"Thank you for your service! Until next time!" Link said, feeling himself returning home.

"May the princess and the Triforce be with you..."

* * *

Link reappeared on the lip of Kakariko Village's well, sitting balanced. To his surprise, the fire damage had gone down. In fact, the buildings all seemed fine as well.

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on a moment, just who rebuilt all of this so fast?" Navi stammered. "I can understand the fire going out because… maybe it rained, but the buildings?"

Link absorbed the sights. Everything was back, save for the top of the well. The local pub was no longer caved into the floor, there was not a hint of a fire anywhere, the tree was its natural shade, as were its leaves. Even the most flammable looking buildings, such as the hay shed, never looked better. "Navi, do you remember when I went back to my youth and took on the mole with the weird spinning nose?"

"Yes?"

"He must have started the village fire in the first place! He sneaked back in time with us and then I destroyed him! That means that… if it makes any sense… he replaced his past self by coming back with us and then he died. He wasn't around to destroy the village."

"So everything is back to normal. The village is safe for now, but… There's something we should discuss. Since the freehouse is back up, how about we talk further in there?"

* * *

"One glass of milk and one shot of fizz extract for the fairy! That'll be 45 rupees, please!" trilled a waiter, placing two drinks on the table. One of them was significantly smaller than the other, clearly ordered by Navi to make up for her size.

"Link, you do realise that you're allowed to order stuff off the adult menu now, right?" the fairy asked Link, "The drinking age is 16 over here and you're 17!"

"But don't forget..." Link bent over to whisper, "...I skipped seven of those years."

"You're still technically… Never mind, your choice. Anyway, about the last sage we have to get, where could they be? I think we've gone through every last place in Hyrule. Everywhere except..."

Link took a sip of his drink and turned around to face the wall, which had a massive map of Hyrule painted on it. He traced the Kokiri Forest, Death Mountain, what was presumably Lake Hylia, Kakariko Village and he lastly located the corner of the countryside he hadn't yet been. It was painted with a sandy, yellow colour and was the largest part of Hyrule that Link had ever seen, even giving Hyrule Field a run for its rupees.

The map was numbered, meaning that places of interests were stamped with a number on the map. If someone wanted to find, say, Lon Lon Ranch, they would look at the number key on the bottom left of the wall, find the number that corresponded to the farm and then find it on the map. Link, on the other hand, was looking for numbers in this new area and matching them up to the key.

"Gerudo Fortress?" he read, joining up 19 with a little, brown shape near the entry. He then looked all the way across what looked like a desert, discovering that number 20 said: "Spirit Temple? My money's on this place over here. It has a temple and every other place we've awakened a sage has been in a temple."

"It couldn't hurt to go and have a look…" Navi replied, drinking the rest of her extract.

"It might. Remember what the Gerudo were like at the ranch? They were harassing poor Mal to go faster. They're with Ganondorf as well. Will they… execute me?"

"I'm sure there are nice Gerudo around. If one of them is a sage, they must be on your side."

"I'll give it a try. If I run into Sheik again, I'll ask him if I'm in the right place."

* * *

Sheik slowly crawled down from the ceiling of Ganondorf's intimidating throne room, observing the fiery red skies out the window. He had been summoned by the evil king himself, either for another job or because he'd outlived his usefulness. He had been fearing the latter so much that it was almost a relief when Ganondorf implied against it.

" **I have received news that this man has taken down the monster from the well** **FASTER THAN IT WAS SUMMONED!** **I AM ALL OUT OF MONSTERS! That is why, servant, I have a job for you.** "

Sheik bowed his head. "What can I do for you? Find a new book of monsters?" he said as sincerely as he could, afraid that Ganondorf would think he was making fun of him.

" **It is a very special job that I bestow upon no one other than my most trusted workers. I need you to go to Gerudo Valley, all the way to the right of the town ruins. I need to find out my fortune!** "

"Your fortune?" Sheik raised his head and put his hands on his sides.

" **My fortune. Yes. Sneak across the gate and traverse the desert tirelessly until you find a man sitting on a flying carpet.** "

"A flying carpet?"

" **Give him this golden rupee right here and use it to pay for his services. Ask the man if there are any signs that my defeat is coming.** "

Sheik bought his voice to a whisper as Ganondorf pitched him a golden rupee, worth 300 green ones. "Any signs his defeat is coming..."

" **Is there an echo in here or do you want to taste my greatsword?** " Ganondorf barked, snapping a spike off his throne with anger. Sheik gasped and stuttered, leaping up and diving out the nearest window. Unfortunately, he forgot to check if it was actually open first.

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

The ninja crawled down the wall face first, flipping off gargoyles, swinging by a chain onto the main land and into the market ruins. This was the perfect job! Ganondorf had given him permission to find out when and how he would die! This was a one-shot opportunity, he wasn't going to pass it up and he was going straight to the Gerudo province, as he hoped his pupil was doing.

* * *

Link approached Epona's side, filling the bags fitted to her saddle with bread, fruit and vegetables as well as various cuts of meat. He then hopped on over the saddle, had Navi sit on her head so she wouldn't have to fly to keep up and then he lightly tapped her into a canter, down the stone steps and into Hyrule Field. She clopped over the bridge and past Hyrule Castle Town, but that's when the land started to get a bit more unfamiliar.

The air was becoming slightly hotter and the ground gradually felt more and more tight under Epona's hooves. It went from light, poofing noises to loud clattering bangs that sounded like two halves of a coconut being struck against a kitchen table.

 **CLAK, CLAKATAKAK, CLAKATAKAK, CLAKATAKAK…**

He steered his steed to the right, seeing the badlands unfold in that direction rather than straight on, but the air only got hotter and hotter until it reached levels where Link began to sweat profusely. As Epona ran through the desert bushes, he reached down and pulled his flask out, drinking from it before letting Navi do the same.

"Watch out for the wildlife here, Link. They can get a bit dangerous." Navi said after she'd finished drinking.

"How so?"

"There's the Red Spitting Cobra, the Turkey Vulture, the Arabian Fat-Tailed Scorpion… don't even get me started on the monsters!"

Link didn't stop to look at her. He just sped Epona up slightly. "Navi?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me we'll leave immediately if there's no sage here."

* * *

Link dismounted when he reached a canyon and heard a roaring river beneath him. He opened the travelling bags on Epona's side and pulled out a retracting water trough, filling it from a nearby puddle and setting it down for the horse. Still sweating from the heat, he stepped up to the edge of the cliff.

The other side of the canyon wasn't all too far away, actually. There used to be a bridge connecting the two halves, but both ends hung down, hugging the wall of their respective side and swinging slightly in the blistering wind. The middle of the bridge was in the cascading river below, caught on a rock.

On either side of where the bridge used to be stood two ornamental arches made out of wood, ready to meet and greet the Gerudo ladies that passed by.

"Those would make good targets for the Hookshot." Link observed, watching them through the dizzying heat distortion. He reached inside his bag to pull out the contraption but as soon as he felt it around his fingers, it seemed to cease existing.

Link scratched his hair in frustration, thinking of another way to get across. Whoever took the Hookshot, a tall, muscular figure with a disguised face and special clothing to sneak around in the heat, didn't simply take it to use for himself or sell off. Instead, he turned it around and raised the handle into the air, tensing the muscles in his arm.

"Well, what a good start(!) I haven't even seen anyone around yet and it's already full of thieves! That puts a huge dent in my plan!"

 **WHAP!**

"And in my head! Ow..."

 **Crump!**

* * *

Link came to with a throbbing bruise on the back of his head, leaning against something artificial, made out of sandstone. His head pulsed with pain like thunder with every second, but he felt different in other ways as well.

\- His hair felt like it was being held up by something.

 _-_ He seemed to be missing his shirt, only feeling a sleeve on his left arm.

\- His trousers were thinner and easier to manoeuvrer.

\- His shoes felt like they were made of a harder material.

\- He felt much, MUCH cooler and refreshed.

The good news? His clothes had been replaced by a gold hairband, a red spaulder, red desert trousers and golden pointed shoes and he was sitting on a thick-woven set of colourful cushions that had been placed to fit perfectly into a sandstone bench. He had also been leaning against a nice table.

The bad news? He was in the jail. The prison. The nick. The cooler. The slammer. The pokey.

" **Mmmmmmph!** "

A shrill whine bought his attention to the side of the table. A scratched, beaten bottle with remnants of a colourful liquid sat on it, dangerously close to falling off the ledge. On the inside was a ball of light, ramming her little body into the walls to try and smash her way out.

"Navi!" gasped Link, popping the cork off and allowing Navi to pop out and breathe.

"What's the deal with shoving me in this damp old bottle?" she said to no particular person after a very exaggerated breath, "And next time, some air holes would be nice. Fewer potion drops, ideally."

"Thank goodness you're safe!" Link grinned, cupping her in his hand. She relaxed her fickle flapping a little, but sagged one of her wings when she saw her partner's new taste in fashion.

"What the heck are you wearing?"

"I don't know! I woke up like this! My guess is that it keeps me from dying of heatstroke over here, but… who would care enough to do that? And where are my old clothes?"

On the other side of the beaded room partition as well as the steel door, Link and Navi both heard a masculine pair of voices squabbling away. A key turned in the lock and the door was pulled open. Two men, both donning grey suits and black hats, marched inside.

Well, they tried anyway. One of the two were so large that he ended up getting stuck in the frame. His partner, who was comically thinner than him, also tried entering at the same time as him, so:

 **SQUELCH!**

"You're squishing me!" protested the skinny man as his round glasses got pressed into his face. "That'll be all the prawn sarnies you eat, Bella!"

"Don't call me Bella!" cried the larger man. His bulky frame contrasted sharply with his girly name and he apparently didn't like that one bit. All his life, he had longed to change his name. Something more tough like Brock or Caesar or… Leslie.

"But that's your name, Bella!"

"Not in front of the suspect! Enough people know my real name already!"

"Sorry, Bella! I won't call you Bella again, Bella! I swear by it, Bella! That's for certain, Bella!"

" **STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!** "

"Sorry, Bella!"

Link tried to hold back laughter as hard as he could, but he started making a muffled, squeaky noise with his mouth that sounded like a dog toy being compressed. To him, this was **HILARIOUS** but he did not dare show it.

"Look, we are two of Hyrule's finest investigators! If we found out which lady concealed ten scotch eggs in her wig and stole them from the ranch last week, we can get through a simple door!"

"Investigators?" Link whispered to Navi, "These two look like they can't investigate their way out of a pea pod!"

Bella shot him an offended look before finally crashing through the door, knocking his partner to the ground. He looked like a garden shed in a suit and hat, whereas the thinner one would probably be mistaken for a small tree at first glance. Well, it explained the slightly… doggy smell that congregated at his trousers.

"Name?" the thin one asked his co-worker.

"Bella! Wait, hey!"

"Not yours! His! What is his name?!"

"Oh, right." The human boulder rolled two of his papers back against each other. "Link, apparently."

"Height?"

"Five foot seven."

"Pfft! I've seen thimbles bigger than that!" sneered the walking snooker cue. Link stared a hole through him and tried not to grumble. "Weight?"

"Yes, sir!" Bella turned to face the window and… paused. He did nothing as his partner watched in confusion. Ten seconds passed before he spoke again. "How long, sir?"

"No! No, no, no! How much does he weigh?"

"About 17.7 on our scale, sir!"

"Sentence?"

"From what I just heard, it was quite insulting and sarcastic."

"Eh? Wait, that's not what I meant! How much time is he doing?"

"Um… Undecided at the moment. It will be done so after this interrogation." With that, the two men, the fat one looking like the slimmer one's reflection in a carnival mirror, turned to Link and stood up straight, ready to get down to business.

…

…

…

"Aren't you going to say something, Detective Twig?" hissed Bella out the corners of his mouth. That was not an insult, by the way. That was his partner's title.

"We both agreed that you would be the first one to talk, Detective Buffalo!" replied Twig, speaking in the same style.

"We did?"

"Yes!" Twig dragged his fellow detective to the back to the room and pinned him against the wall. "We were going to to the strategy where one of us is all nice and they speak first, then the other shouts at him! That always gets confessions out of them!"

"Yeah…! Which one was I again?"

"Bella, you're the good guy! You have been for years!"

"But I want to be the bad guy this time!" moaned Bella. It was clear that, despite his massive body, he still had the brain of a small child.

"If we switch roles now, Bella, we'll mess up our entire interrogation! It's an honour to have a case on Gerudo land and if we mess this up, Bella, we'll be killed, or worse, kicked out!"

" **STOP CALLING ME BELLA!** "

Link sat back watching this interrogation unravel like a ball of string. He quickly raised his hand. "Excuse me, when does this start?"

Twig turned and politely raised his hand to Link. "Sorry! Won't be a minute now!" He promptly turned back to the other detective. "See, the suspect is waiting! Lets go back and start! You say something calm, I shout at him!"

"It's not fair!" whined Buffalo. He was acting like he had just been picked last in gym class.

"Bella, stop this at once! You are making us look like a pair of jokers!"

" **DON'T CALL ME BELLA IN FRONT OF THE SUSPECT!** "

By now, Link couldn't help but laugh. He tried everything. He reached into his pockets to find a bit of food to stuff into his mouth, he tried exhaling and holding his breath outwards, he tried thinking of how much pressure he had to beat Ganondorf, but… he made a very audible laughing noise.

" **WHAT'S SO FUNNY?** " screamed Bella in frustration, whirling around.

"Nothing, Bella!"

" **NOW THE SUSPECT KNOWS MY NAME IS BELLA!** " wailed the incompetent investigator. " **AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!** "

"Don't be embarrassed! Bella may be a girl's name, but..."

"Bella isn't a girl's name!" protested Buffalo, shaking with embarrassment, "It's for boys AND girls! Now, can I be the-"

"All right, all right!" sighed his stick insect companion, pushing both hands forward in resignation, "You can be the bad one!"

"Yesssss!" hissed Bella, punching the air. "Let's do this...! Is there time for a quick loo break?"

"I told you to go before we started!"

"I didn't need to go then! I'm BURSTING!"

"Just… cross your legs or something. And, whatever you do, **DON'T** think of a flowing river."

" **NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS A FLOWING RIVER!** "

"For goodness' sake! You can go after we finish. Get him to cough up the evidence quickly and you can go faster."

The two marched to Link and sat down opposite him, Bella's weight almost cracking the bench. "Right..." started Twig, "You have been found sneaking around Gerudo Valley, a place that's only allowed to be accessed by the Gerudo unless you have very special permission. This is quite a crime, but you have to understand that we are only here to help. We'll give you questions and you should give us answers. We'll handle the rest from there."

"Yes." sneered Bella, crossing his arms, "if you would be so kind."

Twig almost slapped himself in the face and **GROANED** loudly in disbelief.

* * *

This interrogation was ageing like cheese and egg casserole in the desert sun and was quickly bouldering down the hill of "Farce". Both Link and Navi had their hands crammed in front of their mouths to keep from bursting out laughing as the two gumshoes argued back and forth.

"You were meant to be nasty! You were supposed to shout at them!" complained Twig.

"That wasn't shouting?"

" **NO!** Not nearly!"

"Maybe it's better if **I** be the good one."

"You just said you wanted to be the bad guy!"

"Thinking about it again… you're better at it. Lets continue." He swivelled back around to Link and cleared his throat. "Right. Hello. Um… Would you like to pop round for supper?"

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH**!" whinged Twig once more, toppling clean off the bench. "Not that nice!" he called up from the floor. "That was TOO nice!"

"What about… lunch?"

" **NO!** "

"Breakfast?"

" **NO!** "

"Afternoon tea?"

" **NO!** Just… I don't know, talk about the trespassing, the crime and why-"

Unbeknownst to all four people, a shadow up at the window groaned in impatience before tossing something onto the desk with a **CLACK!** Link recognised it instantly as the Hookshot. Unfortunately, Twig had a faster reaction time than him and grabbed it first.

"What's this?" he muttered, scrutinising it carefully. He scratched at the foreign letters that circled the cylinder tube before poking the tip of the spear with his finger. "Do you use this thing for fishing or something?"

"Let me see it!" Buffalo grabbed the contraption and gripped the handle, noticing the firing button on the bottom. "What does this do? Squirt coffee out the end?"

 **PYOING! CHIKACHIKACHIKACHIKA!**

Link swiftly scooped Navi out of the way of the speeding chain as it dug into the wall behind him and withdrew back into the cylindrical holder. " **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** " screamed Bella, "It's a weapon!"

"It's not a weapon!" objected Link, grabbing the Hookshot from the detective. "That isn't how you use it, either. You're going to have someone's eye out!"

"Well, what is it then?" asked Buffalo, interested. "Do you use it to get drink bottles off the top shelf?"

"No."

"Unclogging the loo?"

"Nope."

"Getting someone's attention when you're locked out of the house by firing it at the window?"

"No! The window would break! Look, this is what it's meant to be used for!"

He began to look around the room for an escape route involving wood, before his eyes fixed on the open air window, which had a little wooden hatch above it. A thin stick held it up and stopped it from falling. "Observe. You're meant to aim it at any old bit of wood..." He nodded at Navi, who hid in his hair for stability. "Now..."

 **PYOING! CHIKACHIKACHIKACHIKA!**

The hook dug into the window hatch with ease. The two detectives watched in stunned silence as Link shot from his seat, whizzing up and into the window and being dramatically framed in sunlight. "Well, gentlemen, it was nice to see you and all, but I have a world to be saving!" With that, he kicked out the stick, slamming the hatch over the window and trapping the detectives inside.

"Hey! Hey! We've been had!" complained Twig's echoed voice.

"And I didn't even get to have my wee!" moaned Buffalo. Before he left for good, Link creaked open the wooden window for some parting words.

"And by the way, 'Bella' is emphatically a girl's name!"

* * *

"If those were Hyrule's finest investigators, what must the others be like?" Navi snorted, emerging from Link's hair bush.

"And what must the Gerudo be like, hiring nutcrackers like those?" Link chortled, "I'd like to meet one now, just so I can ask them just what they were-"

 **SHING!**

A blade attached to the end of a stick almost met Link's face. More clattering noises surrounded him like police on a robber. In a matter of moments, Link and Navi had both been surrounded by ladies clad in purple. They all had naturally tanned skin, gold eyelids, blood red hair, purple mouth veils and sharp, purple shoes. They obviously had different faces but their heavy use of makeup and their identical veils meant that Link could tell no one apart. Not one of them.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" crooned one of the ladies as she stepped forwards. Her naginata inched closer to Link's face as he threw his hands up.

"Don't you remember, Ashraqat? He's the one we've been waiting for!" piped up another Gerudo at the back. The Gerudo that first started talking, Ashraqat, started stuttering before glaring like a screen in the sun.

"I know that, you dolt! It was rhetorical! I was trying to sound intimidating! Anyway, back to you. We have been waiting for you, Hero."

"Don't… say… anything." Navi hissed to him. The last thing she wanted was for her companion to make a sarcastic comment about them and get beaten into oblivion. "Just keep quiet..."

"To be more accurate," continued Ashraqat, "HE has been waiting for you. He knew you'd come here, he knew you'd faint away from the valley's edge and he knew you'd escape from the interrogation. Now, as retribution for your intrusion, you will battle the most skilled ninja in all of Hyrule."

At the sound of a timpani drum as well as some prepared chanting, the Gerudo all parted. At that moment, the sun jumped out from behind a cliff, censoring the enigmatic mercenary with blinding rays of light. Link could make out a long, flowing French braid with a spike attached to the back, a headscarf, a short sword sheathed at the figure's hip and the symbol of the Sheikah. A red eye shedding a single tear, the basis for the design of the Lens of Truth.

"It is I..." began the silhouette in that usual Spanish accent that Link had heard so many times throughout adulthood. At that moment, the warrior's eyes adjusted to the disorientating light. Even with it gone, though, he still couldn't believe their pictures.

" **SHEIK?!** "

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction._ _"_


	53. Golden Goddess

Link was surrounded. Trapped in a circle of armed Gerudo, facing who he thought was a harmless yet mysterious boy at first. The ninja, hand on the hilt of his ninja blade, stared back at him with burning calmness in his eyes. His golden bangs drifting in the wind in front of him and the heat blur distorting his shape.

"You..." Link gasped, unsure of what else to say, "Why did you knock me out?"

"I am at the Gerudo's service." replied Sheik, "I cannot disobey their commands."

Navi flashed red with anger and before Link could restrain her, she bulleted towards the ninja. "Traitor!" she blasted, but she was stopped by a pair of naginatas crossing in front of her. Sheik reached for his blade and scraped it out of its sheathe, pointing it at Link, who reached behind him and felt nothing.

He had forgotten to look for his weapons.

"Link, I have been ordered by the Gerudo to challenge you to a duel. Prepare for battle and prepare to be defeated!"

"But… since when did you work for the Gerudo? And how do I prepare for battle when I don't have my sword?"

Sheik shut his eyes and lowered his own sword. With a swift click of his fingers, a Gerudo woman marched into the ring, carrying a blue and silver shield and a familiar blade, glowing with the power to repel evil. "Even as your opponent, I am always fair." The Gerudo tossed the sheathed Master Sword and the Hylian Shield to Link and they clashed to the floor. "This duel… has just begun."

Sheik sprung at his opponent, who drew the Master Sword but only had time to do that. He landed with the grace of a crane, slashing down the width of the Master Sword. His one-sided blade was a lot shorter than the double bladed sword that Link had but in a way, this seemed to be an advantage. Sheik's ninja dagger was lighter while also being harder to counter. His attacks were almost as blistering as the sun and Link's new clothes didn't offer much in the way of protection.

Link, on the other hand, played things more defensively. Gerudo cheered wildly and thrust their spears up and into the air as he parried every confounding strike he could. Maybe the fact that his clothing wasn't as protective was encouraging him to make sure that not one hit graced him.

"Keep your wits about you!" said Sheik quickly, taking a quick pause before attacking again. His bandaged fingers found their way around Link's defences, striking him clean in the face but deliberately missing his bump from earlier. Link was caught off guard by the ninja's attack, toppling backwards and onto his bottom. "You let your guard down! The best offence is a good defence."

Link stood up, Sheik waiting patiently for him to do so. He looked at the glowing blade of the Master Sword, his reflection staring right back at him. "Are you trying to actually beat me or..."

"A short, almost unnoticeable wink from the ninja answered his question. This was no betrayal! This was just a stealthy way of improving combat skills!

"After you. Put everything into it." Sheik purred, raising his sword in defence. "I'm ready for you."

* * *

 **CHING! CLANG! SHING!** "You have a lot of passion, but not enough consideration!" **PFF, PFF, PFF, PFF!** **WHAM!** "Just because your opponent has a sword, don't think that's all they'll use!"

Investigators Twig and Buffalo listened to the muffled sounds of fighting trying to seep in through the closed window hatch. Both still wore their suits and bowler hats in the 50°C weather and both felt like a pile of rubbish in a Japanese school's incinerator.

"I hear… with my little ear… something beginning with… F." gargled Buffalo, twiddling his thumbs and squishing the nineteenth ice cube of the day against his head.

"Fighting?" suggested Twig warily.

"How did you know that?"

"Bella, every single turn you've had, your word has been 'fighting'! If you don't mind, can we move on to different words before we both bore ourselves to death?"

"What else can you hear?" protested Bella as he began to fan himself with his hat.

"Right… I hear with my little ear… something beginning with..."

 **CAAAAAAAAAAW!**

A shrill call of a bird overhead suddenly interrupted his train of thought. Twig jumped and looked around anxiously, drumming on the wall with his fingers until he decided to replace his forgotten word with the source of the shriek.

"...V!"

"Um… Vegetables?"

"No."

"Vampire?"

" **NO!** Did you not just hear that vulture… **ARGH!** You just made me give it away, Bella!"

" **STOPPIT!** Stop calling me Bella! I can never show my face to that old suspect now and it's all your fault!"

"How is it my fault? If anybody, this fault lies on your mother and father! Who gives their hairy son a girl's name and doesn't think 'Will this come back to bite us'?"

"Bella is not a girl's name! It's for both genders!"

"Yeah. Right. That does it, we're escaping! Or I am, at least." Twig announced, rising from his seat and drinking the last of his water jug.

"Finally! Where first? The window?" chipped in Bella, pointing up the shut window."

"Not a bad idea, actually. I'll go first so that, if you get stuck, you don't lock me in here. Boost me up, will you?"

"No problem!" With that, Buffalo lowered his hands and cupped them to make a platform. His partner stepped back, bounced in place a little and then charged like a sentient javelin. His eyes did not leave the wooden window shade that Link had shut them in with and the second his shoe met with Bella's hand, the big man suddenly raised them as fast as he could.

Twig shot through the air, arm extended to the windowsill ready to grab it, he roared through the air like a rocket, up and up and up, not showing any signs of coming back down…

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

...until he hit the ceiling. "Too… hard..." He peeled off like a pancake and landed in a intermeshed pile on the floor.

"Want to try again?" offered Buffalo, but Twig leaped up and cracked his back into place.

"Not on your life! I almost lost mine already!"

"But how else will we escape?"

"Maybe… **THE DOOR THAT WE CAME IN THROUGH, YOU FLAMING THUNDERDOLT!** " Twig furiously gestured to the steel door that Buffalo had gotten stuck in. The massive sheet of metal still had the rusty key jammed in the lock and the little hatch made it look like the door was giving them an 'it took you this long to notice me?' look. Buffalo sheepishly scratched his sweating, bald head while his partner marched over and turned the key. He only managed one revolution. After that, the key broke in half with a chilling **SNAP** , spewing rust into the air and blocking off the lock.

" **AAAAAAARGH!** The flamin' key broke off in the lock! That's the third time this week!"

"Don't worry!" called Bella. He jumped to his feet and grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper. "I have a plan!"

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but… what is it?"

Buffalo didn't answer him. He started to scrawl wildly on the paper, whispering his words aloud to himself. "Help... We are… stuck in… the interrogation room… No way out… Send… locksmith." he muttered, tongue out in concentration. "I am going to throw this out the little window on the door with a special fold to make it fly and it should get all the way out and find a passing traveller! He'll come and rescue us!"

Twig's eyes narrowed as he began to rumble. "That is… **THE WORST PLAN I HAVE EVER HEARD!** Think straight for once, you fart-filled balloon! If you throw that thing out there it'll just fall to the floor?"

"That's what you think!" Bella chortled. He started to fold up the piece of paper, His face screamed confidence while Twig's was a picture of bemusement. "Tum-ti-tum… doo, doo, doo… Here we are! This shape makes the paper fly!" Buffalo announced. He held the note up, now messily mangled into the vague shape of a bird folding its wings. "Watch and learn, scarecrow man! Out of the way!"

The walking wardrobe stepped to the small slit at the top of the door so people outside could look in and peeked through to the outside. A long corridor that wound down and down and down through a set of steps, which the big detective remembered coming up on the way into the room. They had the cracks to prove it.

"And… pop!" he said unconvincingly, dismissing the paper bird with a flick of the wrist. He quickly shifted his eye back over the hole and watched it glide down the halls. It worked, but just barely. Throughout its flight, it swayed and dipped unpredictably as if the bird it was supposed to be was completely drunk and flying after spinning on a playground roundabout for a full hour.

"And now we wait for a reply..."

* * *

"Not bad." breathed Sheik as Link slowly picked up some offence. His attacks were getting more powerful, more decisive, more fluid and much less predictable. There were a few times during their battle where the ninja almost lost his focus and got hit but every time he did so, Link would stop his swing to allow him to get everything together. "You have a lot of power. However, you have yet to learn to use the ultimate sword technique. Master it and you can use it at will."

Link lunged for a powerful thrust but Sheik vanished by kicking the floor and kicking up a cloud of dust. The warrior covered his eyes and made sure to shut his mouth as tightly as he could as a tornado of sand and stone enveloped him and Navi entirely. He waved his hand up and down to clear his eyes before opening them, quickly seeing Sheik standing on a rock pedestal high in the air. He quietly breathed breathed out, hand on his chest as Link's direction of sight alerted all the Gerudo to him.

" **SWORD BEAM!** " he shouted at the very top of his lungs. With a flash, his sword caught the sunlight and he leaped from his perch and back towards battle. His sword darted down and a blade made out of pure wind sliced through the air, speeding straight towards Link. "Dive! Quick, dive!"

The sword beam gouged the floor just before Link threw himself out of the way. For a time after the attack, the wound in the ground blew air skyward like a geyser.

"The Sword Beam releases your energy that you gather in a single, concentrated attack. Acquire peace of mind and then you can use it."

"I know..." Link replied, looking at the damage in the dust, "I've used it before, but the Great Deku Tree gave me both of them."

"Time to step up..." said Sheik soothingly, "Use it at will. Relieve yourself of pressure and stress. Don't worry, for I will give you time."

Uproarious screaming shot up from the surrounding women. "He's not trying to kill him at all!" one Gerudo bellowed.

"Double-crosser!"

Sheik turned to the rowdy crows, who began to charge at him. "Please. I was never on your side to begin with. En garde!" With that, he reached out and grabbed a stabbing naginata, tearing it right out of the owner's grasp. "Stay back! All of you! I know how to use a naginata! Every Sheikah was trained to use one!"

Link watched Sheik in amazement, picking up his shield and watching him fend off the charging Gerudo. With a spin, he slashed one of their weapons in half. With a kick, he launched another Gerudo back and into another, with a quick turn, he thrust Link into a run and they disappeared out of the fortress and deeper into the desert, soon leaving the raving ladies far behind.

* * *

Back in the depths of the maze of corridors that inhabited the fortress, a little paper bird flittered backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down to find someone to unlock the interrogation room. It searched everywhere.

\- The kitchen, where it only succeeded into falling into a vat of soup before being scooped out and thrown away in disgust,

\- through the bars of a prison cell, where the occupants swatted it back the way it came thinking it was a giant moth,

\- in the rather claustrophobic toilet stall, where it ended up bursting in on someone in there,

\- back the other way after the woman angrily waved it out

\- and finally, back up the stairs to the interrogation room.

"Any luck?" asked Twig rhetorically, watching Buffalo staring through the door slot to try and find someone approaching.

"Yes! Yes! Someone's sent a reply!" gibbered Bella, hammering on the door with anticipation. At first, Twig nodded and shrugged but he almost choked on his own saliva.

"Whatwhatwhat? No way! Let me have a look!"

The slim man squeezed in front of Buffalo and looked through the viewing slot himself. Before he could even react, a sharp point from a paper bird's beak hit him right between the eyes and made him stumble back. " **AAAAAAAARGH!** I'm under attack!"

"No you're not!" simpered Buffalo, plucking the paper from Twig's head, "This is a reply from someone else! Let's see!" He hastily unfolded the paper, panting increasingly faster with every line he straightened until he cracked his knuckles and began to read. "Help… stuck… interrogation room..." Buffalo read further and further into the note, every word causing him to lower the paper and grip his head in disbelief. "I can't believe what I'm reading! Apparently, someone else is also stuck in the interrogation room! We need to help them!"

"That's…" rasped Twig, twitching his eye, **"THAT'S THE NOTE YOU SENT IN THE FIRST PLACE!** **IT FOUND ITS WAY BACK!** "

* * *

Link and Sheik trod through Gerudo Desert inexhaustibly together. They traversed sand dune after sand dune, battling the beating sun. On the way there, Sheik had given Link a special sort of moisturiser to rub on his uncovered chest so he wouldn't turn into a cooked lobster. For the moment, it was working.

Link could see landscapes of very light and very weakly saturated reddish yellow sand, prickly cacti which grew red fruits of sorts, stringy, round tumbleweeds that bounced across his path like traffic, wind-worn rocks and wildlife. To put it in an easily digestible way for you all, Navi was not fibbing earlier.

Ravenous vultures circled overhead to look for food, red in the bare face and covered everywhere else in black feathers. Every few seconds, Link would aim his bow around as an empty threat if one thought he was a dying animal. A few seemed to come close to that conclusion, swooping overhead before quickly losing interest.

Western diamondback rattlesnakes coiled in the path, camouflaging nicely into the ground. They were hard to see especially with the sand cascading over them, so Link was thankful that Sheik was in front of him, using his stellar sense of sight to detect them and swiftly warn him. Their bites contained hemorrhagic components which would set a chain reaction off, causing pain, internal bleeding, vomiting, dizziness and even death if things escalated too far.

Africanised bees hung in their nest, which they had built on the few bare trees that would pop up every once in a while. Sheik also made sure to lead Link away from those as their stings could kill with ease.

Half an hour of travelling later, Link's eyes felt like they had melted into the back of his mind, making everything seem like a mirage. Even with the moisturiser and his clothes, his skin felt like it was being stabbed with hundreds of spears that had been dipped in the sun itself.

"Sheik?" Navi asked after her fifteenth mouthful of flat canteen water, "Aren't you boiling in that suit? We're hot enough as it is, but you look like you're about to melt in that suit."

"This sneaking suit was specially made for the unforgiving, monotonous trial the desert throws our way." Sheik replied, steering Link away from a scorpion, "In a similar way, your outfit is crafted with the express purpose of regular desert trips."

Link paused for a moment, feeling around his back. "And where is the rest of my stuff?"

Sheik reached for a small pouch down at his side and lifted it, passing it over to Link. "I managed to swipe this off of you before the Gerudo were able to. Your clothes as well as everything you have been collecting are inside your bottomless bag."

"Where exactly are we going? Am I in the right place?" Link pulled a round loaf out of his pocket and watched Navi fought off a paincloud of mosquitos.

"When we crest this dune, our destination will come out and show itself."

Sure enough, Link and Sheik made it to the top of the last sand dune. Over the top of that was flat ground. Even further on, all the way against the sandstone cliff was a building. Not just a building, a person. A temple had been carved into the sandstone. Above the simple, doorless entrance was a gargantuan stone statue of a goddess sitting cross-legged and holding her palms out and up. The temple had to have been carved years and years ago because its age had started to show in some places. The woman had lost her sense of smell at some point because a series of web-like cracks vandalised where its nose should have been.

"Wow..." Link and Navi both breathed in unison. For Sheik, he looked like this was the fourth time he'd seen the temple this hour.

"This is Desert Colossus and that building with the statue is the Spirit Temple." the ninja said. As the dune lowered into a hill, he stood in a specific stance that allowed him to slide all the way to the bottom. As he got further and further away, Link tried to emulate his positioning, only succeeding in falling flat on his face and getting sand all in his hair.

"Wait!" called Link to Sheik, who turned to look at him. He looked left and right to see if he could find a giant leaf to slide all the way down, only to settle for using his shield. He took it off the thin sash his spaulder came with, placed it face down, sat down on it and pushed off, travelling faster and faster down the hill and spraying sand everywhere as if he was in a speed boat.

 **WHOOOOOOSH!**

"This temple was built hundreds of years ago. It was constructed by the Gerudo so they had a place to worship their golden goddess, as well as for residence before they matured and moved into that fortress earlier."

The mention of the fortress made Link feel a strum of guilt from locking the two detectives in there, as well as a feeling of dread that he'd forgotten something despite knowing full well that he hadn't.

"Nowadays," continued Sheik, "the temple is filled with tests. Tests that wait for someone to best them. Tests that put your knowledge of their goddess into action."

"Who is their goddess?" Navi asked, strobing green.

"The blue comet of law and order, Nayru, is who they look up to. Before I go, you have a look around in there. See if you can figure out where to go. If you can't, come back out and find me."

As Link got closer to the temple, it towered over him more and more, holding her palms out as if accepting a royal gift. The simple set of inconsistently coloured stone steps was all he could see on the other side, so how hard could this be?

"Thank you, Sheik." said Link, "Wait here and if I'm not back within half an hour, you can go."

"Remember, lose all your stresses, acquire your inner peace. Then you will be able to master Farore's Wind, otherwise known as the Sword Beam."

Link bid Sheik goodbye for the time being before disappearing into the Spirit Temple. At first he was met with a musty, stale stench which did not bode well as a first impression but still, he couldn't judge a dish by its scent.

* * *

The short set of stairs ended on a long, flat floor of smooth stone, decorated with a tasselled red carpet. That carpet was coloured with golden calligraphy which said something in… a foreign language. Whatever it was, it did not use the Latin alphabet. It followed a cursive style with each letter all being joined together. It was a type of alphabet where Link couldn't tell where one letter ended and the other began, as they were all joined in a mostly flat line, only stopping for spaces. One other thing he noticed was that, because the full stop was on the left of the sentence instead of the right, this language read from right to left.

A long, dark wood table was positioned on top of the rug, but it had lost all of what used, as Link could see round imprints from where bowls and cups had been in the past.

"Where's the first trial?" Link asked himself, looking under the table and under the rug. An army of dust shot up from underneath, making him fan his face and cough wildly.

"I don't know..." replied Navi, "but I have a feeling that Sheik knows there's no way forward as we are now. Look to the east and west of the room."

Link stood up and looked to the left. A small tunnel, far to small for him to crawl through as he was, was embedded in a small, half-domed alcove. When he looked to his right, he noticed a massive cube, patterned with a crescent moon and star.

Both ways forward had been made inaccessible in some way, shape or form.

"You could be right… I'll go and have a talk with him..."

"You don't need to go..." **SHING!**

Link felt the cold, icy touch of the back of a knife aggressively pressing against his neck. In a quick sweep, he swung his sword behind him, letting his mentor somersault over him and land on the table. "...for I am right here. That was a good time for reactions, and you will need them here."

"Fine, that's all well and good," said Link, "but how am I meant to use those reactions when both of those rooms are… blocked off?"

"Past, present, future… The Master Sword is a boat that can sail up and down through time's river."

Link tilted his head and looked at his sword, trying to comprehend just how it would be able to stay afloat in water, let alone support someone on it. "I'm pretty sure it would sink if I used it as a boat."

Sheik let his misunderstanding go. Instead of calling attention to it, he drew his harp. An exotic, golden harp which held the image of Nayru's beaming face. "To find the last sage and restore peace to Hyrule, you must travel back through time's flow. Listen to this requiem, which will lead a lost child back here."

He began to pick at the yellow strings with his fingers like little bird beaks eating seeds. Together, he and Link began to play a melody. The music was rather slow like the Nocturne of Shadows, but it was slightly more cheery. A bit more hopeful. Link played it and played it until he got better and better, eventually mastering it. The sound bounced off the hard walls of the temple, giving the song more of a foreign sound to it.

"Link… return to the Temple of Time. Your smaller size will prove to be a blessing. I shall see you again." The Sheikah paced backwards before falling onto his back and crawling under the red rug, creating a noticeable lump. "Before I disappear, our next meeting will also be our last." With all his words gone, the lump under the carpet deflated until nothing was left.

Seeing Sheik go was usually quite demoralising but in this case, Link was smiling at Navi wider than a sunrise. "Do you know what this means, Navi?"

The sprite wobbled in joy. "It means we can go to the past again!"

And so, Link raised the Ocarina of Time once more and played the Prelude of Time, fading into golden dust and floating out the door in one big cloud.

* * *

Detective Twig backed up against the wall opposite to the thick, metal door of his prison. Detective Buffalo sat in the corner, his legs crossed to try and keep the floodgates shut. He STILL hadn't been able to go!

" **HEEEEEEYAH!** " screamed Twig as he thundered to the door and rocketed through the air with a robust kick. Well, it was robust for his standards.

 **CLANNNNNNNNNG!**

"Owwww!" the stick insect cried, hopping back and clenching his foot. Buffalo didn't even bat an eye when Twig fell backwards over the sandstone table.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

" **BEEEEEEEEEELLAAAAAAAAAA!** Make yourself useful, will you?" he hissed, pulling himself up. "Kick that door down over there!"

Buffalo looked at the door, which was ringing like a sizzling crash cymbal on a drum set. "Have you just tried… the handle?" he asked unmindfully, waddling over and placing his thumb and index finger on the doorknob. He was a very big man and not all of it was fat. A lot of it seemed to be muscle because he gave it a rather simple tug and…

 **SNAP!**

…the door came off its hinges like a loose tooth, sending five nuts and four bolts scattering across the room. "See? Works every time!"

"I loosened it, OK? Now come on, let's move before we have a bigger problem in here!"

"Thank you! Lets go! Now! Fast!"

Buffalo squeezed through the door first and Twig sprinted after him, pounding down the steps and deep into the labyrinth of Gerudo Fortress. With any luck, they would be able to find their way out.

And a toilet, preferably.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _You should not see the desert simply as some faraway place of little rain. There are many forms of thirst._ _"_


	54. Bucket Head

With his consciousness returning, Link smelled bronze organ pipes and the other indescribable scent of a church. The chequered, polished floor reflected his current shape, but it would soon be much shorter, much more innocent and a bit weaker.

"If I have to leave the Master Sword in here and then go to face the Spirit Temple… I only have the Kokiri Sword. I hope the trials I find in there don't need it."

"You'll be fine, Link." Navi replied, turning empathetically pink, "If Sheik sent you back here, then it must be easily possible. He's on our side, remember?"

"I'm still trying to figure out what he meant earlier. Peace of mind? How do I do that after everything I've seen and done?"

"Easy." Navi said, landing on his shoulder, "I am your guardian fairy. No matter how bad things get, I shall be with you. I understand your struggles. In fact, I share a few of them. When things get bad, just know that I am with you the whole way."

"Yes, Navi… Thank you, Navi." Link stepped up to the Master Sword's resting place once more, taking a look out the massive, ornate window that projected a ray of light upon it, even during the night. He then looked down at the slit the Master Sword would inhabit. Directing his eyes to the glowing blade, he held it upside down and shoved it into the stone, flooding the whole room with an intense, blue light.

* * *

Link came around with his hands held up above his head rather than around at his mid-torso. His hands were still wrapped around the handle of the Master Sword, which managed to almost match his height. He felt his signature oversized boots which he had grown to love and finally, despite having come in with his desert clothing on, he was wearing his old, green tunic along with his shorter Kokiri Sword and his weaker yet lighter Deku Shield.

"I'm beginning to think the Master Sword changes your equipment and clothing based on how you travel through time if you pull it." Link said in the rather high voice he used to dislike, but now wanted to keep for the rest of his life.

"Makes sense, I suppose," Navi replied as she lit up and spread her wings, "What if the hero went back in time and got eaten by his massive clothes?"

"We're digressing. If I can remember that song… we should really be going."

Link reached for his Ocarina and lifted it, beginning to play the requiem Sheik had taught him. When he finished, he heard the sounds of screaming, desert winds roaring towards him. He silently nodded to Navi to hide in his cap before he felt himself harmlessly breaking into a sandstorm from bottom to top. A tailwind carried him and Navi out of the Temple of Time and towards Desert Colossus.

* * *

Crikey, it just got boiling hot all of a sudden! I thought it was hot when Link came here as an adult, but that's nothing compared to this! Where are all my desk fans?

The last time Link came here, the sun was just about to go to bed to make way for the moon, so the temperature was slightly dropping. It was still jolly hot, but bearable.

One of the ways time travelling using the Master Sword works is that, if you are a child, you pull the sword out at midday and turn into an adult for the first time, you will enter a random time of day, inconsistent to the one you used to be in. If you were to go back to being a child, you would find yourself back at midday.

The last time Link pulled the Master Sword was during the middle of the day, so it was now 12:23PM. Despite the usually cold winter being the season…

 **THIS IS THE HOTTEST PLACE I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED!**

A collage of sand formed the shape of a young boy, colouring itself green, beige, brown and blonde. When the transportation was over, Link felt his skin to make sure he was whole again. When he was certain, he took one look up at the wobbling sun and wiped immediate sweat off his shining forehead.

The sun was torturous. Far worse than when he had arrived. It was so hot that the tumbleweeds couldn't even be bothered to move. The animals were all taking shelter. The turkey vultures bathed in a nearby oasis, scorpions were holed up in their nests, the killer bees didn't bother coming out of their hives, the desert was a barren wasteland. In fact, I'd better dig into my first bottle of water, plus the choc ice that's probably all liquefied on the inside now.

And no, the hotter climate wasn't the only thing that made Link feel like a freshly-heated chain link. He wasn't wearing his desert clothes any more as they wouldn't fit him. Despite his tunic being short-sleeved and the kilt of it reaching his knees, its thickness was killing him.

"Link! Quickly, into the temple!" Navi came out from her hiding place because of the heat, loudly gasping for air. "Before you get sunburn!"

"Good idea!" Link replied before setting off. On his first step, he instantly noticed that travelling was made infinitely more difficult with his boots, which were made for the forest more than the desert. It felt like walking over very sticky flypaper. It was a big relief when his boots met the paved stone that lined the front of the Spirit Temple.

As a child, the statue that made it up seemed much bigger than it actually was. In fact, it hardly looked any different than it did in the future. Maybe Ganondorf spared it. After all, he was an ally to the Gerudo.

Close to escaping the punishing blast of heat, Link made his way through the minimalistic entrance to the temple and began to climb the short set of steps.

* * *

Echoing, exotic music was the first thing Link heard upon entering the Spirit Temple. A sharp difference from the quiet, empty shell that he had last walked into. Another thing, the temple was a lot more… active.

When Link conquered the stairs, he noticed women marching around left and right, yet he didn't feel at all threatened by the abundance of Gerudo. In this room alone, there was:

\- A full band of musicians, who were tapping away at hand drums, plucking at lutes, puffing on flutes and reed instruments, producing a pleasing tune.

\- Gerudo waitresses, carrying huge, silver domes to and from the ornate table in the middle.

\- Cleaners scrubbing away at human-sized statues of bizarre beings, such as an elephant head using its ears as wings.

\- Soldiers thrusting Naginatas at targets that were painted on the wall.

\- Incense makers who were crushing up herbs and plants with a mortar and pestle..

\- One lone, charismatic Gerudo at the end of the table, about to start eating a chicken tagine and ready to down a glassed mint tea.

"'Atamanaa lak wajabat shahiatun." said a polite waitress, humbly bowing to the woman as she took away the dome that used to contain some chicken tagine.

"šukran." replied the lady, nodding her head. She was dressed much differently than the others, being like the male golden pheasant to the females, despite… actually being female herself. What I'm trying to say is that her clothing was a lot more vibrant than everyone else. She wore pink, baggy trousers made from silk, a yellow, strap-around chest cover and red, pointed clogs. She had a red, twinkling jewel on her chest just above the cover she wore. Her flame red hair was much longer than the other Gerudo as well.

Link stepped up to the main floor, only gathering a few acknowledging looks from the band and the waitresses. The Gerudo's treatment of him from his whole adventure made Link flinch from their brief glances but the woman at the table held her look. She didn't look like the rough type, nor did she look like Link's presence was irritating her. Not in the slightest.

"Oh, come in, come in." she said in a noticeable middle eastern accent as she beckoning him over. "It's dangerous outside. Take a seat. You can even be our guest for lunch."

Link began to step back slightly, his breath pacing up. He only stopped when he almost fell back down the stairs. "Thank you… Thanks, but I was told never to eat food from people I don't know."

"Oh, don't worry. This is a public rest temple. Anyone who gets this far is free to come in and eat."

Link felt a fairy-sized elbow prod him in the stomach. "She seems like the nice sort." Navi said gently, turning a hopeful yellow. "Plus, we haven't had a proper sit-down meal since we rescued Darunia!"

Link looked at her and nodded before giving the lady a thumbs-up. "Thank you, missus. Good idea."

Link walked onto the plush carpet observing the mesmerising writing that was printed on the centre, sitting down at one of the chairs. The backrest alone was twice the size of him. In fact, it was just about taller than the Gerudo herself.

"Aistamtae." droned a waitress, dropping a plate of salad asorti down in front of Link almost immediately. Now, if only the restaurant next to my house would deliver that fast…

"It's not usual to see one of your age all the way out in the desert." said the new Gerudo, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing, really." Link responded before mentally kicking himself. To mask his shame, he took a bite of his salad. Instead of seeing through him, the lady clapped her hands and smiled.

"You have nothing to do? What perfect timing! Could you do me a… favour, kid? What's your name?"

Link and Navi exchanged looks before the fairy nodded at her companion for him to say 'yes'. "Of course. What is it? And… I'm Link."

"Wait a minute… I want to ask you a question first." The lady lowered the volume and tone of her voice slightly before leaning over the table, dipping an elbow in her tagine. "You wouldn't happen to be one of… Ganondorf's supporters, would you? I know it's highly unlikely, but I can't take any-" She stopped herself when she noticed the new boy dropping his head and shaking like a pneumatic drill, shaking the entire table. Even the musicians stopped playing rather roughly to see what was going on. "Are you all right?"

"He killed my father… He made me split up from the only family I had..." Link growled in a disturbingly low voice for what his usual one was, "He's killed hundreds and hundreds of people. He has assaulted me and Hyrule. I hate that man."

The Gerudo princess sat back in her chair and signalled to the band to continue playing. "Well, it's a good thing you found us, kid. Before I continue, let me introduce myself. My name is Nabooru." she said, pressing her hand to her chest. "I, as well as everyone else in this temple, may be Gerudo, but that doesn't mean we side with Ganondorf. With his followers, he stole from men, women and children and he's even killed people!"

"Thank you." replied Link, taking his mind off the world's future tyrant by picking up an orange off his plate and biting into it. "I think… I misjudged some of the Gerudo."

"You may not know this," Nabooru continued, "but the Gerudo race consists primarily of women. Every hundred years, a single male is born. That male is sworn by law to become king."

"So Ganondorf is a Gerudo!" Navi realised, almost choking on a sliver of lettuce.

"Exactly, but I, as well as everyone else in this temple, will never bow down to such an evil man! The Gerudo who don't support Ganondorf speak Arabic instead of Gerudian, so if you can hear Arabic, you're safe." Nabooru explained, unaware that Link had never heard Gerudian before. "I have come up with a master plan to stop Ganondor's reign of terror once and for all!"

"Oh?" Link mused, raising his head and leaning onto the table. "All right, I'm interested."

"Will you go through that… tunnel over there and get a… valuable that's on the other side?"

Nabooru turned and waved at the wall behind the bag. Looking behind an Arabian bongo, Link saw what he had briefly considered trying as an adult. A small, square tunnel in the wall that he was too big for in the future. Now, as a child…

" _I'd fit right in."_ "What kind of treasure do you need from there?"

"A special pair of gloves. I mean, VERY special. Just the power of their metal will allow you to move things much bigger than yourself, take that cube over there." Nabooru signalled over Link's head. When he followed her hands, he saw that giant brick with the crescent moon and star still covering a corridor perfectly. "However, they're far too big for you, so that's where I come in. When you come back with them, I shall put them on and pull that brick clean out of the way. Then, I shall sneak further into the temple, collect even more weapons than we have now and mess up Ganondorf's plans!"

One of the musicians cleared her throat and spoke up. "Still, you should be aware that the trials past this tunnel were made to test your loyalty to Nayru. As you go through each, you must take a special book with you and read passages based on your room."

Taking her cue, Nabooru pulled a book from inside the fruit bowl, handing it to Link. "The first passage is on the first page, but not everything is in order. Pay attention to where the book tells you to go and you shall do just fine."

"Yes, Nabooru. Thank you, Nabooru. I won't let you down." With that, Link politely excused himself, walked past the band and lay on his stomach to crawl through the hole.

"hza saeidaan, Link. May Nayru smile upon you." Nabooru's voice echoed after him.

* * *

The thin tunnel ended and Link hauled himself up, shaking discs of dirt from his tunic before correcting some of the folds to let some sand roll out and onto the floor. Before he even looked at the room, he pulled out the pocket book Nabooru had given him and flipped it to the first page. A giant number one was the most noticeable thing on the page, as well as a small illustration depicting a man walking through a field of cobwebs. He silently noted an arrow of what appeared to be wind moving through some stringy lines towards the man.

"Only the humble are worthy of lives..." Link read out, his heart slightly speeding up at the implications of what he was reading. Then, he looked up to see what he was with. He reacted only with slight disgust at the state of the room.

Cobwebs were EVERYWHERE, and I really mean 'everywhere'. There was no way under, over or through any of it without getting absolutely coated in the stuff. This part of the temple must have been uninhabited for years and years because it looked like a Darwin's bark spider had downed several dozen cans of the world's most powerful energy drink and then tried making a home for itself after scoffing a kilogram of sugar.

It was hard to see because of all the mess, but two stone statues conveying images of lions flanked the entranceway. I can't really describe any more of it because… I can't see a thing, quite frankly!

"I wouldn't want to run into the spider that did all this..." Link shuddered, "It's probably bigger than me!"

"Let's agree to not talk about that." Navi said, escaping from his hat, "I hate spiders!"

"What could… humble mean like this?"

"Maybe it's referring to bowing down before the goddesses? It's considered a sign of respect and humbleness to kneel before a statue of one of them."

Link pointed to the little sliver of wind in the drawing. "What's this supposed to be? I think it's wind of some sort, but..."

"Keep moving." Navi ordered gently, "Watch those cobwebs. If there's some wind that comes through here, we'll see it moving."

"Good idea." Link kept reading from the book in a low and mumbling voice, walking into the tangle of webs. "Only the humble are worthy of lives..." he muttered, looking up and down between his book and the webs. "Only the humble are- **PFFFT!** -worthy of lives..." A few webs found their way into his mouth, forcing him to spit them out. He waved a few out of his way before continuing on. "Humble… Humble… Kneel to the goddesses.

Link's little heart started to go faster the further he disappeared into the cobwebs. He studied everything he could find in the book. The man, his sword, the cobwebs, the wind, the sentence, even the little, faint bit of wind that shook the cobwebs, making them dance a deathly sway.

"Kneels before the..." Link was about to recite more but his eyes suddenly began to glow red from the reflection of an approaching rocket of flame. " **EEK!** "

Link squeaked like a mouse, falling to his knees just as a torrent of fire shot over his head, narrowly missing it. Another deathly red shine lit up on his face, this time on the floor and facing up. Right as another explosion shot into the air, Link rolled forwards and just about cleared it, only feeling the heat of the eruption and something falling off his back.

From his new position, he saw a corridor that was too thin for him to squeeze through, but it served to house a massive, fireproof pipe that was glowing red from all the flames coursing through it like blood through a vein. The boy reached out and grabbed hold of a chord, just burning the backs of his fingers on the roasting pipe, before yanking it out and dropping it.

 **ZzzzzzzzzZZZZT!**

The chord snaked back into place and the pipe gradually lost its colour. At the same pace as the pipe's discolouring, the fire stopped spewing, leaving only the remains of a few blackened, flaming cobwebs.

That spider is probably going to be a tad miffed when it gets back… Anyway, Link brushed some webs off of himself, felt his front, the Kokiri Sword, the Deku Shield and-

"Wait..." Link quickly retraced his hand to his back, having not felt it the first time. "Where's my shield? I left my Deku Shield behind!"

"Isn't that part of it down there in front of you?" Navi pointed out.

"Where?" Link picked up a blackened shard of wood sitting at his boots. "You mean this thing?" He observed it before he felt his heart slam on the brakes, recognising a part of the Great Deku Tree carving he had made on the front of it. He froze both himself and his words, full of incredulity.

His father, the last he had of him…

"Dad… I am so sorry." Navi was silent, allowing Link to slowly press the shard against his head, leaving a large, black mark there.

…

"Link?" called Nabooru's accented voice from the tunnel, "Are you all right? Did you pass?"

"I'm through!" Link shouted back, trying his best to hide his sorrow. "I did it!"

"You've got more to go through yet! Check the bottom of the page!"

Link did as she said, still holding the chard piece of his old shield in one hand and using his entire left hand to hold the book. His eyes fell to the bottom of page 1.

 _If you are successful in this trial and you have survived, turn to page 57._

Flipping through the pages, Link continued his walk through the temple, ascending a spiral set of red sandstone steps.

* * *

"The Greek Pitwalk… One who is intelligent spells my name out… The unobservant will fall..."

This time, there were no cobwebs, thank goodness. When Link came out, he found himself at a silk curtain to brush aside, revealing a paved path. Each tile was carved with a strange letter that looked Like Link should know what it said from Saria's English lessons, but he couldn't make heads or tails of what they said.

"Look, Link!" Navi squeaked, "The picture! It's the Greek alphabet!"

"The what?" Link paid attention to the grid of characters on the new page. They all looked slightly like the Latin alphabet, but something about them was just… slightly off. A footnote under the grid stated that each letter was pronounced by the first letter of their name, so… Delta was pronounced like a D. What did Delta look like?

The capital looked like a triangle, while the lowercase version resembled an O with a small, upside down angle on top.

"The lowercase ones… kind of look the same to me." Link observed, comparing some letters and trying to tell them apart.

Navi snorted at the thought. "Well, our alphabet has b, p, d and q. We can't really talk!"

"Oh… You have a point. What is this place expecting from us?"

Navi landed on top of the book and flashed grey. "Only one who is intelligent… can spell my name out." She then turned around and looked at the strangely designed floor that led over to another spiral staircase. "I've got it! We have to convert 'Nayru' back into Greek and then walk across those tiles to spell it out!"

"How am I meant to do that?" Link stammered, looking back and forth between the book and the trial. "I can't understand the… Greek alphabet!"

"I'll guide you." Navi offered. "I know what I'm doing."

Link looked at her for a moment, wondering if he could trust her with that. When he was finished, he bit his lip in frustration. Of course he could trust Navi! "Thank you. Which one first?"

Link stepped to the path, looking at the letters directly in front of him. He could see Delta as well a capital A, a B that was slightly curlier than he was used to, a zero with a line through the middle, three horizontal lines stacked vertically and a lot of others, some of which he knew and others he didn't.

"Step on that N there with your left foot." instructed Navi. Link quickly located the tile and stepped on it. It fully supported his weight, not even cracking underfoot. A hollow tapping noise indicated that there wasn't earth beneath the tiles, however. It felt like if this whole thing gave away, Link would fall into a deep pit and who knows what would be at the bottom of that.

"Next, the lowercase A with the- WAIT! STOP!" Link hadn't even waited for Navi to finish talking before he took his next step onto a regular, lowercase A. The moment he landed, the tile broke away with a powerful **CRASH!** As Link fell down the new hole, he grabbed onto another tile which depicted another A with an accent on top.

"Argh!" he yelped, suddenly dangling above a giant drop, which ended at a bed of sharp spikes. Link dilated his eyes as he looked down at them, already feeling their stabbing points from all the way up there. Some were stained red. Some were bent. Some had various fragile bones dashed on top of them. He balanced his weight with both hands, but he wasn't able to keep hold of the remains of his Deku Shield. He watched as it scratched over the edge and tumbled into the pit of spikes, landing with a thump.

Using the tile he was gripping, Link heaved himself up out of the pit and onto the A with the little line on top, making sure not to overstep onto any of the others. "Did you mean the one with the mark over the top, Navi?"

"Yes." Navi responded, pulsating from her pounding heartbeat. "Don't scare me like that! Only move when I've finished speaking! Now… step onto the bendy U over there."

"U..." Link took another step onto another Greek letter, trusting Navi to be right. Her efforts paid off, with him landing safely.

"The round P over there, just to your left!"

"P..."

"The O in front of you!"

"O...whoa!" Link stepped onto the tile, skimming an incorrect one and causing it to give way and fall down into the chasm, breaking on a wooden spike.

"Now go to that wobbly U a bit to your left!"

"And… U!" The finish was now in the distance of a short hop. Still, Link gave it his biggest jump just in case he underestimated it. "Thank you, Navi. Where did you learn all that?"

"I was reading the book for you. In Greek, 'Nayru' has an O before the U so it can be pronounced properly."

Link turned his attention back to the book, reading the sloping words at the bottom of the page.

 _If you are successful in this challenge and survive, turn to page 32._

"Trust. The exit to the darkness is hidden from you in sets of matching boxes. Picking the right one will grant you access to the final trial. Choosing the wrong one will take your life."

"How can a box take your life?" Navi asked, only half joking, "Trap you inside and grow knives in there?"

Link ignored her and began to approach the steps to the next trial. "Hopefully, we're not going to find out."

* * *

The stairs ascended further and further up and around, each torch that clung to the wall got progressively dimmer and dimmer until they went out completely, plunging the room into darkness. As the light level went down, so did Link's speed. Every time he went at a slightly fast speed, he would trip over a step. It got so pitch black that Link reached the top of the stairs and stumbled thinking there was another step.

The chamber was dimly lit by sets of red candles that hung from orange pillars. Though he could not see his hand in front of face, he could feel a long carpet under his feet.

Two torches kicked themselves alive, shedding their light on a table. Three cubes sat on the table, cream coloured with a pink ribbon.

"I hate to say it, Link..." whispered Navi, "...but I think this is completely random."

The boxes were decorated as if they were to be present at a party but such bright colours in the face of a daunting room gave them that same feel as children's dolls in horror movies, not that anyone in Hyrule could liken it to that.

Left, middle or right? Link was left handed so he wanted to choose that. He liked things to be perfectly aligned so he wanted to choose the middle one. He was rather literal minded, so he hoped to be right with the right one.

Unable to make up his mind with sweat dripping down his face, Link began pointing at all three boxes in order. "Eeny… meeny.. miney… you." Stepping towards the table, Link removed the ribbon from the box and pulled the lid off-

 **BZZZZZZZZZT!**

Hey, who stole all the light? Kindly give that back please, I was using it! Am I having a power cut or did he just choose the wrong box?

Where is that fuse box? Where are my rubber gloves? Why does everything that happens here also happen to me? Where- Oh, a torch! This'll do just fine! Back to action, then. All of the faint, red lights in the room shrank and disappeared, the resulting darkness swallowing even Navi's flashing light.

"What does this mean?" Link's voice shivered through the dark, "Was that meant to happen?"

A clicking pair of claws answered his question, as well as the drawing of a sword. Link quietly pulled his own Kokiri Sword out and began to revolve, hoping to catch a shape moving in the distance. The glow of a fireball shone and lit the room very slightly before it launched across the room.

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

It shot past Link and torched the table, burning the rest of the boxes and turning the lights back on, thank goodness.

"It's a Dinolfos!" Navi exclaimed, highlighting the monster. This new foe slightly resembled the numerous Lizalfos that Link had faced off against, boasting the same body type with a longer sword, but it had an exoskull and wore chain mail. Its tail was coated in a hard bone that could withstand a guillotine and it wore armour across its waist.

The dinosaur fighter shot another fireball across the room, which Link deflected with his sword. The heat entered the metal, making the blade glimmer red. The Dinolfos leaped at his green prey, slicing overhead and barely missing, only nicking the edge of his cap. Link's glowing red sword decorated the air in a red streak as it fired back, hitting the Dinolfos' exoskull, but not breaking it.

"What do I do about all this bone?" Link shouted over the hoarse screaming of the reptile. He found another opportunity to attack again, but the creature's vicious chain armour stopped his blade, only heating an area of it.

"Tassssssssste my SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSWORD!" the beastly battle machine hissed, rearing down and then pouncing up. His sword cut through the air with the greatest of ease and Link dived to the side to narrowly avoid it…

...and it ran straight down a giant, bulky suit of armour. Its black plates and gold chain mail made a horrid, grating shriek of the same kind as the Dinolfos' piercing war cry as whatever mysterious monstrosity inside woke and rose up, peering at the Dinolfos through the five eye holes on its helmet.

" **GrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR!** " snarled the armour brusquely, raising its arms above its head, holding a big, metal bar. Two curved blades were fitted on both sides of one end, making up an axe that could possibly chop down the Great Deku Tree as if it were made of margarine. " **Y** **OU HAVE DISTURBED MY SLUMBER! FACE THE WRATH OF MY BATTLE-AXE!** "

The armour had a minacious Glaswegian accent that went nicely with its tartan kilt, which was prominently white with red and green stripes zipping up, down, left and right like the path of electrical wires.

The Dinolfos' legs buckled as the iron knight loomed over him, certain that it was the perpetrator was the scrawny little dinosaur. It darted its eyes left and right like a chameleon to try and find someone to deflect the blame onto. It inevitably found Link and ran on all fours behind him, its body wriggling back and forth like a snake. "It wassssss him!"

Link **sighed** as hard as he could and glared at the cowardly reptile, who now fitted both definitions of the word. "You're pathetic."

" **GrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR!** " repeated the maleficent mail. He began to charge forwards on his metal shoes, each step shaking the ground.

 **CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG!**

When it reached the pair, it raised its axe high into the air, with even the slightest movement of it making a perceptible swishing sound as it went. Using the adrenaline from the thought of getting slashed in half by that, Link ran away as it scarred the floor, taking the clinging Dinolfos with him.

" **COME OUT! COME OUT OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!** " Link listened to its deep, guttural voice, hiding behind a pillar with the hyperventilating Dinolfos.

"Will you be quiet?" Link snapped to the Dinolfos, "You're going to get us caught!"

Navi extended herself around her cover to see the suit of armour pacing around the room, inspecting everywhere a little boy and a scaly fighter could possibly hide. "What's an Iron Knuckle with… that accent doing in the middle of a desert?"

"Maybe he's on holiday?" Link suggested, shrugging cluelessly, "Why is he named after parts of his hand? What next? Iron metacarpals?"

"No time for debating its namesake! We need to cut through that armour!"

Link looked at the Dinolfos beside him, rubbing his eyes and stuttering like a jumpy vinyl record. "What? 'We'?"

"Yes, you two! That Dinolfos seems more afraid of old bucket head over there than it is of you!"

Link spun around to face the scaled swashbuckler. "Right, you. If you want to escape with your life, we're going to have to co-operate." The Dinolfos was quick to accept, shaking the boy's hand and accidentally digging its claws in from stress. "Ow… All right, I have a plan. You run up front and distract helmet head. Then, I'll run behind it and, POW! Sneakstrike it from the back. Then it'll turn around and then you hit it from the back and so on and so forth. In simpler terms, if its back faces you, attack it."

The Dinolfos withdrew his sword and shivered like a man in his pants in the middle of Alaska, but a quick hand on the Kokiri Sword was all it took to scare it off towards the Iron Knuckle.

"Hey, you over there!" it screeched, leaping up and down and side to side to draw the knight's attention. "Klazzzzzzzzomaniac! Look over here!"

" **HMMMM? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? I DO NOT SHOUT! I AM VERY QUIET!** "

"Lisssssssssssten to yoursssssssssself!"

" **YOU DARE INSULT AN IRON KNUCKLE? YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!** "

"You don't have to ssssssssssssssssssshout!"

" **I'M HALF DEAF! SPEAK UP, WILL YOU?** "

Link sighed and palmed his forehead at his new ally's 'distraction', for he wouldn't have bothered if he knew this aluminium minion couldn't hear properly. Even so, he crept up behind the enigmatic monster, noticing the Dinolfos looking at him the whole time. "Stop!" he hissed at the dino, "He'll notice you looking at me like that?"

" **WH** **AT** **ARE YOU LOOKING AT?** " The great suit of armour swivelled, taking a good, long look behind itself, but it saw nothing. It only felt something soft moving against its back. " **THERE'S NOTHING HERE! YOU'VE LOST THE PLOT, EH?** "

Link stood with his back against the almighty back end of the perplexing foe, revolving with it to stay hidden. Though… he started to regret his choice of words with the Dinolfos.

"Attack… when… he'ssssss… facing away!" it slurred, a smile of realisation crossing its lizard lips. "Heeeeeeeeeeyah!" Link threw his hands out and gestured for it to stop, but the sword of the Dinolfos came down regardless.

 **SLAAAAAAAAASH!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

Link was lucky enough to roll away, but the Iron Knuckle was slit straight down. With the back of his protection divided, he whizzed around to face the Dinolfos. " **YOU!** " it spat but in the second it turned, something burning hot sheared it.

 **SLAAAAASH! HISSSSSSSSSS!**

" **OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! OI!** " The Iron Knuckle turned to face the little boy behind it, raising its axe to strike but it was torn again, this time having its whole layer of armour split through and leaking dark energy into the room.

" **STOP DOING THAT! I'M-** "

"Pincer!" shouted Link to the Dinolfos, who seemed to understand. Instead of just attacking when the Iron Knuckle's back was turned, it thrust its ornamental blade into its front while Link attacked the back.

" **AARGH! AAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr...** "

The Iron Knuckle's voice dropped and slowed like a toy that was running out of batteries. As if there was nothing inside all that metal, all the separate pieces of armour fell apart at the seams, scattering all over the floor and vanishing in bursts of blue fire.

"Way to go, Link!" Navi praised, "Even as a little boy, you still run monsters over like nobody's business!"

"True," Link conceded as he shrugged, "but you're forgetting about the dinosaur guy over… hey, where'd he go?"

The Dinolfos had been easy to recruit but was quick to leave. Link heard the sound of clicking claws retreating down the sandstone stairs and back through the temple. "Thanksssssssssss for your help!" gargled its voice back up the spiral.

"Well!" Link mused, impressed, "For someone with all that armour on, he's pretty fast!"

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"Even if you think you're still enemies, you're enemies with a common interest: a bigger threat."_


	55. Worship Room

Since falling the mighty Iron Knuckle, an automatic door heaved and lifted up, letting the desert heat and light guide Link out. Now, he was emerging into the fresh, hot air of the desert, still wobbling from the heat distortion. He stepped outside fully, standing on a thin path that headed towards a strangely shaped platform. He looked behind himself, seeing that he had emerged from a gap in the wall and straight onto the outstretched arm of the golden goddess of the desert. While he was grateful for the added height making things a tad cooler, he still felt like a sunny-side-up egg in a pan.

" **Hey, how are you doing, Link?** "

A deep voice sounded, making Link turn to look. He thought the owner had died in the boy's jump from a child to an adult, as he had not seen him at any point in. The guide that was talking to him wasn't even a human. It was a Magna. If you remember, Magna's were a breed of bird. Only one remained in the world.

It was the owl of guidance, Kaepora Gaebora… I enjoyed not having to say that name and twist my tongue in circles…

"Oh, hey, it's you!" Link said jubilantly, waving, "I haven't seen you in years! I mean… minus years. It's complicated."

" **What are you trying to say?** "

"I've been… in the future. Through all my time there, I haven't seen you once."

" **So, a long time in this world is almost nothing to you, is it?** " droned the mighty owl, " **Even I thought the story of a boy who could travel** **back and forth through time was just a legend… Link, you have fully matured as an adult!** "

Link looked himself over, feeling his hairless chin and his thin legs. "Well, I will once I pull the Master Sword back out."

" **From now on, the fates of all the people in Hyrule lays on your shoulders.** " the Magna continued, " **I have one last message for you before I depart for the Chamber of Sages, however. Two witches haunt this temple. To beat them, you must turn their own magic against them! To do that, you will progress further into the temple as an adult using the contents of that chest over there.** "

A gold-rimmed chest lay on the statue's hand as if it were presenting an engagement ring. Making sure to step as carefully as he could, Link made his way onto the statue's palm, slashed the lock of the chest off and threw it open.

A pair of leather gloves lay inside it, not unlike the ones Link's adult form always wore. The difference was that these had patterned iron plates on the backs of them.

" **The Iron Gauntlets.** " Kaepora said, " **Anyone who slips those on gets the muscles of 20 men!** "

"Nabooru told me to give them to her so she can step in with her part of the plan." Link replied, feeling the iron, which was carved to look like a man holding up a planet, "I can't go back on my word. Who are these witches anyway? Have I seen them?"

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!** "

At that moment, the shrill shriek of a Gerudo sliced through the hot air like a knife through a cake. Link, Navi and Kaepora Gaebora were forced to look down to the desert floor, the latter almost falling clean off his perch. " **Well, speak of the devil and** **he will appear. That would be them.** "

Link focused on a little purple dot on the desert floor. Two figures flew in a circle around it as if they were hands on a clock. "Hey! Where are you taking me?" an accented voice demanded from inside the purple ring. Link rubbed his eyes. This made him see the shape of a human figure getting pulled into the swirling vortex.

Nabooru.

"Link!" she called up, noticing him atop the temple statue's hand, "Get out of here! Now! These witches! They're using black magic on me!" Her voice became more and more hushed as the whirlpool of darkness roared like thunder, pulling her further and further inside until it closed off.

"Owl!" Link said desperately to Kaepora, "What are they?"

" **Ganondorf's surrogate mothers. Koume and Kotake are two Gerudo women who, with their magic, kept the** **mselves alive for years and years.** **They have committed inexcusable crimes in the past.** **They have brainwashed their opponents, burned them at the stake and they've stolen from the poor.** "

Link hid himself as the two figures, clouded by black cloaks, flew into the entrance of the temple.

"This is not good, Link." squeaked Navi, "Those witches are far to powerful as you are now!"

"Maybe so..." Link dug in his bag, readying his ocarina, "…but they'll be no match for me in seven years time!"

Playing the Prelude of Light, he disappeared in a flash with a loud buzz. Kaepora twisted his head all the way upside down once more, though the two dots on his chin hid this rather convincingly. " **Good luck, my boy. May my light guide you.** "

* * *

Having experienced no time in between locations, the contrast in temperature upon Link's arrival was quite shocking. It went from around 50°C to about 15 and Link shivered for a second when he first reformed inside the Temple of Time, even though it wasn't nearly cold in there.

"I'm worried about Nabooru." Navi's quivering voice said.

"So am I, Navi. So am I." Link soothed, cupping her in his hand as he walked through the giant doorway towards the Master Sword, "I hope she's all right. Those witches look strong."

Upon reaching the pedestal, Link slid the Master Sword up and into his hands, drenching himself in holy light.

* * *

"Can't you stop complaining for five minutes?" hissed a voice deep within Gerudo Fortress. Back in the future, Detectives Twig and Bella- I mean, Buffalo, sneaked around corridor after corridor, ducking out the way of Gerudo guards on patrol. They may have been allowed in When it was all clear, Bella opened his mouth to speak.

"But I'm about to blow up!"

"Well, do it quietly." sneered Twig, "We'll probably find a khazi somewhere around here and if we don't, we can just go off the side of the bridge when no one's looking!"

"What if someone's taking a dip down there?"

"In the.. flippin' white-water rapids? Just come with me!"

The two ran down an incline and into a spacey room of the dungeon. Torches burned and belched the smell of charcoal into the air.

"Yes! No one's here!" rejoiced Buffalo, "I could go behind that barrel over there."

"I wouldn't go behind there if I were you."

Bella and Twig turned to face the new voice in unison. A giant alcove had been cut into the wall and a restrictive wall of iron bars locked a set of men inside. The one that spoke had a giant hairdo that looked like it housed all the bees in the world and he was looking hopefully at them, grabbing at the bars. There were three other men, their torn clothes holding saws, hammers, nails and more construction equipment. One of the people at the back of the cell pointed to a wooden door next to him. "You can use this one."

"Oh!" Buffalo cried, "Thank you! Just in time!" With an almighty shout, he ran to the chain lock and yanked at it with all his might. In a moment it came free, practically ripping from its position. When it was all out of the way, he barged a hole through the prison bars and threw open the wooden door. As he was busy, the carpenters wasted no time in squeezing through the hole he made and escaping, only to be immediately stopped by twig.

"Stop! Not so fast!" he ordered authoritatively, standing at the doorway to block the exit.

"But we weren't going that quickly!" protested one of the prisoners. Twig sighed deeply.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You must have a reason for being in there."

The carpenter with the beehive hairdo shook his head. "No, not really. We were just arrested for being men."

"For being… no way, that can't be it! There must be more to the story! You must have… stole! I don't remember being called to interrogate you lot!""

A man in the middle of the pack raised his hand. "Well, who summoned you then?"

"Some… ninja bloke with a turban, but that's beside the point. You lot, back in your cell."

"But we're telling the truth!" told the front construction worker, "We just came to collect some resources for weaponry and we got arrested for not being women! Honest, we did! Ask our boss at the boozer!"

Twig was rather taken aback. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his forehead with it. "Wh-what? Well, it's the Gerudo we're talking about… Fine, I believe it. Just imagine all the protests they would get here if the genders were swapped!"

A choir of cheers went up among the carpenters, but the sound of a door opening and a very relieved detective squeezing out caught their attention. "Note to self, make sure you check who's under the window before you empty the bowl out!" Buffalo sighed, walking back through the bars in a different place, denting those ones as well.

"There we go!" breathed Twig, "Can we go now? Where's the exit?"

Buffalo pointed at the hallway on the other side of the room. "Just over there, out the way the angry guard came in."

Twig nodded in listening. "Where the angry guard came- **WHERE THE ANGRY GUARD CAME IN?** "

A knifelike sound of hard shoes on stone chipped up and into the room, as did an indescribably horrid smell. Water dripping from her red hair tails, a woman dressed in blood red clothing entered the scene, gripping hold of a pair of gold-handled scimtars. To say she was furious was an understatement.

 **SHE WAS 'ACTIVE VOLCANO' LEVELS OF ENRAGED.**

She said not a word as she glared at the bigger one of the detectives, having recognised him as the one who threw… never mind.

"You." she began, pointing the plump man with the edge of her sword. "You're under arrest!"

Her blades then rang through the air, driving Buffalo back against his partner. Two more slashes later and Twig was getting pancaked against the back wall.

"You have no warrant for arrests!" the thin officer claimed. Buffalo was backing away so hard that the bricks behind him were beginning to crumble. "And you're making my whale of a partner squash me against the wall! Would you kindly stop?"

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

A cloud of plaster came free from the wall and an entire chunk of it fell out. Since both Twig and Bella were leaning against it in the first place, they both toppled out of the new hole, the Gerudo following them with a coordinated and fearless leap.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!** "

Now that they were all alone, one of the carpenters turned to face his colleagues. "Come on, everyone! Let's use this distraction to sneak out of here and get back to work! We'll have those tree barriers ready in no time and then we shall all storm Ganondorf at once!"

* * *

With the Master Sword returned to its rightful spot on his back, Link opened his eyes in Desert Colossus, watching the few remaining parts of the sandstorm that he had take him there. Having last been wearing his desert clothing as an adult, he had reappeared in them rather than his normal green tunic. That had been safely stowed in his bag. He didn't hesitate so he could talk to Navi, he just took off onto the sandy desert, running into the Spirit Temple once again and knocking his head on the entrance, not really used to going through it as an adult.

"Nabooru!" he called inside. The acoustics carried it far, but no response was taken back to him.

His dinner with her seven years ago played back through his head.

" _Would you go through that… tunnel over there and get a… valuable that's on the other side?_

" _What kind of treasure do you need from there?"_

" _A special pair of gloves. I mean, VERY special. Just the power of their metal will allow you to move things much better than yourself. Take that cube over there."_

He recalled one of the last things mentioned in their conversation and looked to the right, just opposite of the table which had now been torn clean in half. Still, the massive block of granite which restricted entrance to the right half of the temple was untouched. For a moment, Link exchanged glances between his hand and the brick in the wall. He had promised to get these gauntlets for Nabooru, but…

"Navi? Would she mind if I use these?"

"Of course not!" his fairy replied, "How else does she hope to get rescued?"

In the middle of her response, Link slipped the Iron Gauntlets onto his hands. In the next moment, he placed his hands on the massive block that towered over him. Suddenly, he felt kilograms and kilograms of kinetic energy all travelling into his arms from the shining metal. The brick screamed and heaved as it inched across the floor. Link beamed at Navi. "It's working!" he exclaimed. Navi turned a happy blue.

"You're right! It might be wise to keep those on, though."

"Why? Any more giant blocks?"

"Not to my knowledge. It's just… there might be a really deadly enemy in here and the extra strength would come in handy."

Before Link could reply, he found out that there was a big, square hole in the floor ahead that the block just so happened to perfectly match in size. The whole thing toppled over, pounding into the hole and forming a bridge over it.

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

The new part of the temple that opened up was vastly different to the section Link had been through as a child. That was a linear section of puzzles that ultimately led to the Iron Gauntlets. This one had a good reason for being closed off.

This was a big, open-ended worship room, coated with brown bricks and balconies that partnered with large doors. Down at the floor sat a more detailed replica of the statue that the Spirit Temple was modelled after, but this one wore a cobra head as a hat as well as some scaly trousers. Its clothing was also coloured in, using dark and foreboding shades of green and red.

A crowd of monsters gathered at the amphitheatre near the bottom, involving Lizalfos, a few Dinolfos, one red and silver plated Iron Knuckle and a few new ones, resembling muscular, anthropomorphic bulldogs wearing bronze armour and wielding cheap, wooden pikes. Standing safely at his balcony, Link watched the gathering. The one Iron Knuckle stepped to the front of the stage to a big, wooden pillar that stuck up above a metal grating. The black char marks on the pole told Link that this was used for execution.

Or… maybe the skinny, blackened figure that was chained to it, slumping forwards as if it were fighting a really strong wind. Link held back a gag, quickly pulled out his bottle and scooped Navi into it to muffle her distressed screams. This place did human sacrifices? To whom? Nayru?

No, monsters are just monsters. They wouldn't try to appease anyone. He continued to watch as the Iron Knuckle raised his hands into the air, holding his left one as if he were about to click his fingers.

" **Humnee behuuga bethoogee… Tuumhar dahata kaheetigey...** " His ominous mantra shook his helmet with the bass of his deep voice as the grip on his left fingers tightened to the point where his whole hand began to shake. He repeated the foreign phrase once more as he bought his left hand towards the toasted corpse. Red aura began to surround it like raging fire as its eyes slowly lit up with an ominous, brown glow.

 **CLICK!**

The Iron Knuckle moved his thumb from his middle finger, producing a loud snapping noise. All at once, an inferno rose from the grating below the stake, surrounding the corpse once again and filling the temple with the smell of cooking meat.

Link felt genuinely ill from the smell. Before Navi could fly out of the bottle he jammed her in, he rammed its cork over the exit so she wouldn't be subjected to the same stink. Still, he wretched and gagged, clenching his nose and trying so hard to stay concealed. When the sound of blasting flames stopped, he dared to take a look back at the ritual.

All the monsters had frozen still. Worse, the body had disappeared from its stake.

Pulling the cork free and letting Navi escape from the bottle, Link bought her over and whispered. "Why did all the monsters stop moving? Where did that body go?"

Navi sat on the rim of the bottle, landing as gently as she could to avoid making an impact of any kind. "Don't… move… a muscle." she shivered, "Look back at the crowd."

A dark red sheen lit up back at the stage. Out of the seventeen monsters that used to be there… one more had appeared.

…

…

…

It eerily made not a sound. It was debatable whether it really was a monster. From Link's distance, it looked more like a human. He cringed slightly as he thought of Zabal and looked down at its sword. It had a fiery design for the tip and the sides of the blade had rotating, razor sharp edges. Link considered slaying it right there and then so he could take its weapon but he stopped himself, realising that no matter how powerful it was, the Master Sword would probably beat it ten times over.

Its crusty skin was the colour of stone, yet it wore shining, silver armour that looked like it had come fresh out of the ironmongers. It also wore dozens of medals down its chestplate. Too bad Link didn't have a magnet handy at this moment because that is an awful lot of metal!

"It's a Berserker Redead." Navi told her friend, "They are both completely blind and deaf, so they rely on their feelings to attack. One hit from that sword can sear through the toughest of armour and kill in a single hit."

"It can?" Link said, bringing his voice up, "Let's test this out." He reached into his bag and produced his bow, nocking it with a regular arrow. He then aimed it at the feet of the Iron Knuckle.

 **TWANG! THWACK!**

All the monsters reacted, but not one reacted more than the Berserker Redead. It vanished from its spot in a red cloud, striking from behind the armoured knight.

 **SWISSSSSSH! FOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The Iron Knuckle disappeared from the bite of the Berserker's blade, sizzling into dancing embers and molten metal. For a second, there was silence. When it passed, every single monster panicked and turned to run away, vibrating the ground. Just what the Berserker needed.

 **ZzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZTTTt! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!** "

" **EEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!** "

Like it was performing some supernatural dance, the Berserker warped around the room, striking down Lizalfos, Dinolfos, the bulldog monsters, Stalfos, but not Link. "Well, I'll say! It worked!" Link marvelled at his quick thinking but as long as the rampaging Berserker could locate him, he couldn't celebrate. He stood up, jumped onto the railings of his balcony and targeted his Hookshot at a wooden statue atop another one, exchanging between the two platforms. As the massacre roared on behind him, he calmly threw a portcullis door open and ran up a spiral staircase, the sounds of screaming and fiery slashing getting quieter with every step.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"Living is easy with eyes closed."_


	56. Monkey Bars

Turkey vultures soared overhead in the distorted sun, overlooking a young ninja in a skin-tight sneaking suit. His task was not yet over.

If you all remember, he had been tasked with finding the desert fortune teller that roamed the wilderness on his flying carpet. If he were to fail in finding him by the next day, not only would he probably get executed but he also wouldn't have any information to feed the other side.

Sheik swept sand from his turban and took a swig of water, slicing a cactus up to farm the water from its fruit. When he crested his forty fifth dune of the day, he stopped to more carefully scrutinise the endless sea of sand.

"Wait a moment..." Sheik said to himself, seeing a thin shape cutting through the air in the distance, "Is that a flying carpet over there… or is this cactus water making me hallucinate? Well, no matter..."

Sheik produced a Deku Nut, slamming it into the sands like a basketball through a hoop and kicking up a sandstorm that hid his form.

 **POOF!**

He reappeared on the fabric of the traveller's vehicle, spraying sand in their face from his reappearance.

"Agh!" he coughed, brushing it from his giant hair and spitting mouthfuls of the stuff out. "What in the name of Mike?"

"Stop the carpet." ordered Sheik firmly, "I have a job for you."

The operator of the magic matting hastily reached out for the front two corners of the carpet and seized them. Blinking the last grains of sand out of his eyes, he yanked on them as if they were the reigns of a horse-draw carriage, dragging the magic carpet to the floor where it parted the sand like a plough. "What is it? I was just out on my evening stroll! Nothing beats the fresh air in this desert!"

"Debatable." Sheik countered, wiping his head free of sweat once more, "And isn't a stroll a walk? You're not exactly getting a lot done on this carpet."

"Stop stalling!" demanded the carpet man, sitting cross-legged on the target shape in the middle, "What do you want?"

"A fortune." Sheik tossed him the giant rupee Ganondorf had given to him, all but squashing the man under it. "Ganondorf wants to know any signs that his overthrowing is nigh."

" **GANONDORF?** " choked the man, dropping his money to the floor. His massive haircut that made it look like he had a giant basket on his head hid his eyes but if Sheik could see them, they would have been the size of tennis balls. "Are you one of his servants?"

"Well, yes **and** no." Sheik started to explain, "My real identity is far to important for him to find out. I work as a double-agent so he doesn't suspect my true self and I favour your side so I recommend you tell me so we can all use that information to our advantage."

All the events flying back and forth like a shuttlecock disorientated the fortune teller but he still accepted Sheik's payment before bringing out a crystal ball. "Very well." he said as he began to wave his hands around it, "Let me consult the stars. The sky. The sun. The moon. Ah! I see… trees. I see… bark and leaves. The fortune… is coming together like jigsaw puzzle."

"What else do you see?" Sheik asked calmly as he knelt down. The crystal ball glowed more and more vibrantly like a light bulb, first using a traditional colour of light but then it started to transition into a wild, green colour.

"A sentence… I see twelve words placed in a set that conveys a meaning… 'When Atinium Elm starts to move, the King of Evil will fall.' That is what it says."

" _Trees."_ Sheik thought, widening his eyes, "When trees move!"

"When trees move?" repeated the fortune teller, narrowing one eye, "Is that what 'Atinium Elm' is? I've tried this fortune for years and years now and I couldn't figure out what that meant for the life of me!"

"Keep the change." offered Sheik. "I have more work to do."

 **POOF!**

Sheik vanished in another flash of light. The salesman recoiled back at the flash and held his massive rupee in front of his face to shield himself but a loud sizzling noise and smoke rising from his carpet made him peek around it.

Sheik had made such a rough escape that he bore a hole in the carpet from his Deku Nut, going beyond that and making a deep hole in the desert sand.

"Hooligan!" hollered the salesman, shaking his fist, "You sprung a leak! How can I fly now?"

* * *

Navi's description of the Berserker Redead really taken the speed out of Link.

" _It can feel my movements."_

He would normally run as fast as he could through a dungeon, especially when he knew someone was in very deep trouble, but he had been reduced to a trot at fastest.

" _One hit from that sword and I'm finished."_

He was walking up some steps that constantly turned in 90° angles to form a straight spiral. Every dozen steps, he would turn around and start walking up the other way in case the Berserker tried to attack him. If it could feel him walking up the stairs rather than down, it would surely teleport in front of Link, expecting to end up behind him. If he did attract it, at least he had time to react and throw something overhead to distract it. Maybe a stone or a bomb?

Just how many stairs are in this place? Seriously, I have been watching this for about five minutes and all he's been doing is going up stairs! No matter how far he went, the stairs never seemed to end. Just how tall was this temple? He'd underestimated the size of the giant statue that made up the temple and now he was paying for it with his stamina.

Huh? Oh… Found the problem, I was rewinding the footage instead of making it louder by mistake. Sorry… I kind of wasted a bit of time there...

Right then and there, the staircase ended at an arch that emptied out into the same room as the one the Berserker had massacred all of its own soldiers. He could smell the ashes for one and he could see the ghastly soldier, quietly and seriously patrolling the premises.

"Now, then..." Navi whispered instinctively, "We could probably have a full-scale orchestra blaring away up here and that sucker would be none the wiser! All we have to do now is make sure we don't fall off."

"Where do I have to go? Where's the next room?" Link replied, watching the Berserker warp to the spot of a fallen brick and viciously slash at what he thought was a person. Navi directed his attention to a gap between his balcony and another. It was quite a distance away, about ten feet. A ladder had been stuck horizontally to the wall. Link knew what that was for, since he once was involved in a project with all the other Kokiri where they built a playground together in the woods.

Unfortunately, the monkey bars had been built right above a dip in the ground which collected rainwater with ease and someone forgot to fasten the bars in place so they rolled around when you grabbed hold of them. Guess who ended up soaked after their first attempt?

"Oh, boy..." Link hissed with dread. He stood as tall as he could to see if he could pull himself up and on top of the monkey bars so he wouldn't fall off, but he only barely reached the first one. He looked to the other platform to see if there was anything he could grapple to with the Hookshot, but everything was made of stone or some other material that the hook would just bounce off of.

"You'll be fine, Link." Navi reassured, flashing a cream colour, "You come from the forest. Haven't you climbed trees before?"

"Well, yes… but I don't swing from branch to branch! If I fall from here, I'll break my legs… and then get obliterated by that berserk Berserker!"

"Don't grab at the bars like mad or you'll waste your energy. Don't go to slow either because it's kind of hard to get going again." Navi began to coach, "Try and spin your legs as you reach from one bar to the next. And whatever you do, don't look down. Just keep looking at where you're putting your hands."

Link reached up and grabbed the first bar, stretching the skin on his fingers from how high up he had to reach and then, he tipped over the border into the point of no return.

He dangled helplessly at the peak of the temple, the Berserker just below him. It roared like a demon, making it extra hard not to look down, but Link took to heart what Navi had said, quickly detaching a hand from the first bar and moving it to the next, furiously pedalling his legs like helicopter blades.

That one half-second of moving a hand off the bars felt like skydiving from the stratosphere without a parachute. It made Link's heart leap out of his mouth. It made him feel a rush of air. It made him feel like had just turned inside out. In fact, the second he was safely at the next rung, he was reduced to a gibbering mess, chattering out incoherent whines and gasps as he hung from a single rung.

"Don't stop!" Navi shouted frantically, floating above his hands, "Keep going or you'll fall down!"

The Berserker Redead stepped on a loose tile below, which scraped against its neighbours like tectonic plates. The small vibration it caused had the swordsman swipe at the floor in hopes of catching a crawling creep, succeeding in spurring Link onto the next bar. Despite having gone through his fair share of horrors on this journey, he was feeling legitimately terrified at this moment, reaching the point of no return. Going back now would take just as much work as going to the end… Have any of you lot been on a set of monkey bars that were over a body of water and you tried to do it with all your clothes on? Maybe with something in your pocket that doesn't mix with water? This felt like that, but inflated up to a million with a tyre pump.

Link swung from one bar, completely skipping the next and moving on to the one after that. He had one horrid moment where he very nearly missed it and only managed to make contact with it via his fingertips but he moved his other hand onto it, correcting his grip with the first.

He made the next few rungs with heart-stopping yet successful swings, making it near the ending platform. He was close now. He could feel it. He could feel safety. He could hear the Berserker underneath him. It was as if it was aware of his presence. Despite being both blind and deaf, it was slowly raising its head up, the red glow in its pupils getting bright like a fire. Link swung himself forwards but didn't let go of the bars, trying to see if he could reach the ending without having to risk himself any more. Unfortunately, he only just managed to touch it without landing.

One more rung to pass onto, but his hands were burning and it felt like the skin was tearing off his hands, leaving only bones behind. He peeled one hand off its respective bar…

...and completely missed it with his weariness. Navi quite loudly shrieked as Link, no time to scream himself, fell from the monkey bars and landed at the ledge with his hands.

"No more hanging!" Link howled at the ridiculousness of the situation, "No more! I can't take it!"

He stole a glance below him to check on the crazy Redead knight. Between now and the last time he had seen it, the monster had vanished, so that was one problem out of the way right out the gate. Maybe it had heard something in the other room?

Navi composed herself, her partner following her with that. He was not going anywhere but down if he didn't stay calm in this position. Levelling his whole arm on top of the ledge, he kicked his way up the wall, rolling onto the floor with a massive groan of relief, and very nearly a face full of spinning blades.

 **VRRRRRRRRRRRRM! SHING!**

The Berserker had somehow felt him several floors up from him shaking the monkey bars. Link rolled back, too startled to vocalise, and dodged another strike. He was now teetering on the ledge again, so he reached up and seized one of the monkey bars to balance himself. Another swing from the toothed blade nearly vapourised Navi, but she flew out the way, screaming like a bird.

Link lifted his legs while still holding on to the monkey bars to avoid another swipe and, using energy he got from the sudden adrenaline, he flipped up and onto the top of the bars.

The Berserker curled a frustrated growl out of his mouth, trying to find his prey. Said prey drew a bomb from his pouch and neglected to light it, thinking it would destroy the whole platform and render the next portcullis door impossible to reach. It landed on the floor behind the undead soldier, drawing its attention. A sweep bisected it, yet the bomb did not detonate. It just rolled away in two halves, the set of double vibrations confusing the Redead. It warped left and right, slashing at what it thought was a tag team, its grunts getting gradually more frustrated. Standing up on the monkey bars, Link set up an arrow in his bow and released it to the right.

 **FLSSSSHHHH!**

Just as the Berserker Redead teleported, it was struck through the neck, with the point of the arrow bursting out through the back of it. The soldier choked and reflexively raised its hands, dropping its sword to the floor, but Link vaulted from the bar, driving the Master Sword through its whole body. It couldn't get too graphic before the monster ripped into burning shreds, creating a loud hissing noise.

* * *

A bald man sat at a white mess tent just across the shattered bridge of Gerudo Valley, waiting for the return of the four carpenters. They had been gone for almost three days and three nights now and not one word, not one letter had made its way back. He sat on a camping chair outside the white tent's entrance, parked by a campfire that crackled in the sunlight. To pass the time, he slid a harmonica left and right in his mouth. He had been playing that thing for the whole time his workers were gone. First, he had started with some soft, classical music but as time went on he advanced onto much more… fast songs. It was essentially heavy metal before heavy metal.

Feeling the beat crawling into his body, the man rose from his chair, tapping his foot against the floor like he was playing a bass drum. He started to quickly jolt his shoulders. When the song reached its bridge, he started swinging his arms from side to side and clicking his fingers, shuffling his shoes in the dirt and kicking up sand. Finally, the chorus came along.

Where do I even start with this? The rolling stones under his shoes made it very easy to glide along the floor as if he were skating on ice. He had completely abandoned moving the harmonica with his hands now and he was moving it using his teeth instead. This didn't slow his performance down one bit, though, as he saw four men charging across the valley from the fortress carrying armfuls of wood. Starstruck fans wanting his autograph maybe?

" **BOSS!** "

"Argh! What?!" The musical man spat the harmonica out at once, the shout of the men throwing him off. He tripped over his sliding feet, falling bum-first onto the gathering of flaming sticks. " **AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! WATER! WATER!** " he bellowed, leaping and running to the edge of the cliff, flames spreading across the back of his trousers. He almost jumped straight off the edge and into the bellowing rapids, but he stopped himself, darting in the other direction. " **TOO MUCH WATER!** " The boss finally got some relief when he sat down in a shallow puddle, extinguishing the fire with a high hiss and trailing forks of smoke above his head. As one fire went out, another one started in his face at the embarrassment caught up with him. "What do you lot want?"

"We got some wood from the fortress, Boss!" said one of the carpenters gleefully, "We even managed to nick a few weapons to!"

The boss rolled his eyes. "I see… Wait, what? 'Boss'? It's you! Just where do you think you lot have have been? I've been waiting for you for three days with nothing to entertain me but… a musical instrument!"

"We got… tied up, Mutoh." slipped a carpenter with flat hair, balancing his branches in his arms.

"How busy?"

"No, we were tied up and then we were thrown in the nick! Believe us, it was had work gnawing those ropes off. Enough about that, look what we've got! Elk wood!" With that, the carpenters released their loot to the floor. That was the intent anyway. Piles of wood clattered down over Mutoh, drowning out his angry yelling.

"You can't have just handed it over?" hissed the boss, emerging from the heap, "What do you plan to do with all this?"

A bare-chested carpenter stepped up to Mutoh to explain the situation. "We have initiated an operation, sir! Races from all around Hyrule have gathered at the edge of Kokiri Forest to farm the Atinium Elm growing there! The Gerudo started chopping them down as well because they knew something was going on with this tree-slicing project, but we infiltrated their hideout and liberated them!"

"That doesn't answer my question..." answered Mutoh, "What are we going to make from all this? Torches? Weapons? Horse-drawn carriages?"

"No." The carpenter with the tall beehive haircut narrowed his eyes seriously. "We are waging war against Ganondorf and his minions. With these, we will blend in with nature itself. We'll close in on the castle and when we're close enough, we'll lower our branches and capture it!"

"We're… starting a war against **GANONDORF**?" choked Mutoh, stepping back and then jumping away from the campfire, "We have no wish to be up at the chopping block! Who's with me?" Mutoh raised his hand to rally his workers but, to his surprise, no one else lifted their arm. They just looked at him and stood completely silent as if he had just told a really bad joke at the table. "Anyone?"

"No one. It has been decided by all of Hyrule. The King of Evil has wronged us countless times over the last seven years. Now it's our turn! **WHO'S WITH ME?** "

All at once, every other carpenter thrust their fists sky high, pounding them up and down and all roaring their approval. Mutoh stared at the looming tower in the distance with concern.

Was this plan leading Hyrule to peace or to its death?

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Life is like the monkey bars: you have to let go to move forward._ _"_


	57. Let's Get To Work

Past the portcullis door in the Spirit Temple resided a dry, sandy cave that was at a steep vertical slant. The air smelled of death. It was musty and confined, like sealed evil in a can. Link had been taking big strides to the top, for he needed to stretch his legs after hanging from his arms.

"That… was… horrifying!" Link cringed, "I almost died more times than I could count."

"I still can't believe it!" Navi said, lightening up, "You've been through an old, abandoned house, the inside of an active volcano, through an illusionary room where your own shadow attacked you, the literal house of the dead… and the most scared I've seen you is crossing a set of monkey bars."

"Well… It was hanging above a massive drop! With a monster holding a sword that could send me to oblivion in one hit below me! I almost lost my life about… fifteen or twenty times!"

Link took one more big step up the hill, but he felt his foot catch on something. A string lurched forward and pinned him to the floor, stretching itself with it and triggering a hook.

 **BOOM!**

A big, round rock fell from the ceiling at the top of the slope. Gravity dragged it down the hill and it thundered towards Link like Detective Buffalo. In fact, it could have easily been mistaken for him at a distance.

 **RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE!**

"Link, run!" Navi shouted, darting in the other direction. Link turned himself, almost leaning too far forward and falling with the slant, and began to stumble down from the rolling ball of death. He fell to one knee as he ran, but he found a recess in the wall to hide him. The boulder thundered past him, barely missing his knee. He heard it bowling further down the incline like it was at the local alley and then it smashed against the iron bars of the portcullis he had just gone through.

"So, then… Make that sixteen to twenty one times now." Link corrected, "If they bothered to set up boulder traps in here, that means I'm actually making it further into the temple instead of just going in a flippin' circle!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, of course! What's the point in putting traps in rooms if they don't go anywhere?"

"Better than nothing. I can see a door up there!" Link ran up the rest of the hill, keeping an eye on the ceiling at the top in case of any more boulders. With no more to pound him into paste, he and Navi made it to the top and threw the door upwards into its slit, allowing him to run past before it came back down.

* * *

Loud hammering, knocking and sawing bounced off the trees at the edges of Kokiri Forest. A flooding downpour had started in all areas but the desert, which was beginning to cool down from the late time of day anyway. Lumberjacks, with express permission from the Kokiri themselves, were hard at work on their plan for their upcoming war against Ganondorf, chopping down trees with double-handled axes, sticking some leaves over to them to look like smaller trees. Some used them to create new handles for their swords. Others made small, portable walls and the rest carved cylinders out of them in a little shelter so they could be lit on fire and thrown from a distance.

The Kokiri watched from a distance. They always thought that chopping down trees was always bad, no matter what, but watching these men using theirs for good was beginning to feel like quite an honour. As they came in closer and closer, Mido, whose permanent frown was somewhat loosening and softening, noticed a woodcutter excitedly pointing at the village of houses that the kids were hiding from the rain in. As he ran to take a look, however, the most important looking man pulled him back by the hood of his coat. Mido couldn't hear what the boss was saying, but he got the general gist of it from the gestures.

He was telling the employee that he would die if he went too far into the forest.

"Lena, pass me the lantern and the oil, will you?" the boy asked to his new room-mate behind him. The blonde-haired girl reached under her bed and dragged out a grey, rusty lantern and tapped on a large drum full of oil. "Ta!" Mido picked up the lantern and dipped its chamber into the oil, striking a match to light it up. Using the lanterns top to shield the flame from the rain, he squelched out of the house and towards the workers.

Back at the group of lumberjacks and carpenters, the bald boss of the lot signalled for his men to stop as a dim light danced through the trees and the fog towards them. They thought it was a lantern-wielding ghost at a first glance, one man raising his axe to hack it to bits, but he lowered it when the boy closed the distance between himself and them and lit up with his light.

"Why, it's you!" the boss nervously laughed, "What did you come here for?"

Mido bit his lip. "Why are you sticking around so far away from all the good trees?" he asked, "The really strong ones are in the actual forest!"

Suddenly, a worker with the beehive haircut, which had absorbed a lot of water by now, reared his head back and screamed. " **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I TOLD YOU! HE'S TRYING TO** **LURE US INTO THE FOREST AND TURN US INTO TREES!** "

The boy narrowed his eyes and held the lantern up to himself. "No I'm not, hive head! We've been doing some experiments as of late. After the Great Deku Tree died, the barrier that stopped strangers from coming in without permission went away. Not only that, but Kokiri can also leave the forest when we want!"

"Then..." began Mutoh the boss, "...how come I never saw a Kokiri outside the forest until very recently?"

"Easy!" scoffed Mido. Despite turning around for good, he still had a bit of a plucky attitude. "All along, the Great Deku Tree was talking about monsters, not some deadly illness! Come on in, there are some really sturdy trees in here that would make for perfect battering rams!"

He led the lumberjacks through a small tunnel and out of the rain. A few took the time to squeeze water from their waterlogged hair. Mido and the logging crew emerged on the other side, meeting with a withered, dead tree on the other side. Despite having been taken by a painful curse, its face was peaceful, like the sea under a sunset.

Mutoh wiped some rainwater off his safety goggles and looked at the magnificent oak tree, which was only a shell of its former self. "Are you sure this is all right, laddie? This guy was very important to you and the forest, wasn't he?"

Mido nodded, but he didn't look sad at being reminded of his old father. "You're right. He was. But I'm sure he'll be honoured to be used as a good weapon in battle. You are free to use his branches for whatever you want."

Mutoh rubbed his thumb along his chin as if thinking, his small beard hairs making sounds like pages flipping. "If you insist… Men, let's get to work."

* * *

Link cut down the last skeletal Stalfos of the mirror-filled, trapped room, littering the place with another set of bones, bent swords and torn kilts. At that moment, he heard something fall from a hole in the ceiling, A reflective trunk had been deposited through the gap and was sitting on top of a flat, brown dais in the middle of the room.

"Who's throwing stuff from the ceiling?" Navi said to no person particularly, "And why did they wait for us to kill all these monsters? Whatever is in there could have helped in that onslaught!"

"Look at the walls, Navi." Link signalled to the panes of glass on the walls, his reflection pointing back at him. "Now look at that chest there. I think there's going to be something to do with mirrors in there." Link and his fairy stepped up onto the platform and slid the Master Sword in through the gap between the trunk and the lid to break the lock. The sound of burning metal proved his attempt successful, so he opened the smoking lid. "Well, look here! I was right!"

The reward he got for beating the wave of Stalfos was a shield. The rim and the back of it were both crimson red, like the seat of a posh train, but the end that was to be held outwards towards attacks was made of a shiny material, reflective as a mirror. The emblem that was shaved into it was the crest of the Gerudo that had made an appearance on the walls and doors of the temple and it resembled an expensive looking pot of some kind.

"What does one do with a mirror that is also a shield?" Navi wondered aloud, "Protect yourself from attacks while making sure your hair's not all messed up?"

Link felt the shield briefly and then, with a bit of trouble, bagged the Hylian Shield to replace it with the new one. He surveyed the wall of mirrors around him and looked up. A bright source of light shone upon him, glaring off the shield and onto the wall behind him despite it now being night in the desert. "Maybe… its intended purpose is to be used to reflect light! That's it! Watch this!"

Link slipped his new shield onto his arm and aimed it at one of the mirrors and a sharp, sizzling glare bounced off the shield, striking one of the angled mirrors. The beam ricocheted off the surface like a tennis ball off a racket, straight into a mirror perpendicular to it. Light shot left and right around Link, who did not dare let it break away from the mirrors. The final mirror launched it upwards, where it finally ended up shining upon a yellow lamp in the shape of a sun on the ceiling. It reacted from the glow, with the lines meant to represent the heat waves starting to revolve in circles.

 **CLANG!**

As the light activated, a set of four chains that coiled like snakes at the corners of the dais lowered through the hole the light came through, making the pedestal begin to fall down slowly through a hole that it had been sitting over. Eventually, the walls stopped going and the platform finished descending. Now, Link was back where he started, in the sacrificial room with the giant statue. His platform was lightly swinging like a birdcage right in front of its colossal face. Still holding the Mirror Shield outwards, a ray of light blinded the shut eyes of the praying statue. Its soft expression drooped to that of someone with the sun in their eyes. In fact, a pair of cracks appeared above her eyes like a pair of eyebrows, making her appear even more annoyed.

 **CRUNCH!**

The crack gravely expanded, splitting the statue's nose clean off and making her look like the Sphinx. Next went her mouth, making it look like she was singing a killer loud opera note. Finally, her whole face fizzled and hissed into dust. A simple, unnatural tunnel unravelled into a room behind the statue.

Looking guilty, Link put the Mirror Shield on his back and made the small jump into the new tunnel. "I hope this goddess doesn't smite me for ruining her statue." he said half-seriously. Navi lit the way so he didn't walk into any walls.

"Probably not. If it's to save a member of the Gerudo who… let's be honest, could be the last sage we're looking for, she could probably find it in her heart to forgive you."

"You never know." Link told her as the tunnel opened up into a pillared room, "Still, after all these years, where could Nabooru have gone? I hope she's not… dead or we'll have a bit of a problem on our hands.

"Oh, she is **NOT** dead, young man! Most certainly not!"

* * *

Link slammed his hands over his ears as a voice, sounding more like someone scraping a butcher's knife down a chalkboard, almost made all his hair fall out.

"Argh!" Navi cried, turning a disgusted green, "What is… that?"

" **THAT WOULD BE US, DEAR!** "

Another voice, even worse than the last, rang out, distorting reality with it and creating portals of swirling heat and ice. This second voice sounded like an elderly former-opera singer in a chokehold. From the two rips in reality, two women emerged. Wait, are those monsters or humans? I genuinely can't tell! They looked way too small to be human, but they did have humanoid bodies and arms and legs. Unlike humans, however, their noses were as long as bananas and their skin was covered in boils the size of apples.

One had orange-red hair that resembled a roaring fire and the other had electric-blue hair that stood in place and sparkled like fresh ice. Matching the colour of their hair, the two women had jewels planted in special holders fitted to their foreheads, one of them red and the other blue. Finally, they floated through the air on varnished brooms carved from the wood of the Great Deku Tree. Link could recognise that distinct smoothness anywhere, even under all the varnish.

"I recognise you two!" Link exclaimed, waving his sword at both witches to hold them off. Now, he was waving it this way and that way to keep them both from coming close. It looked like he was conducting an orchestra on Halloween. "What did you do to Nabooru? Where is she? Tell me!"

"Oh, dear!" sighed the blue witch, shaking her head, "We seem to have an impatient one, Koume."

"Yeah. We have an impatient one, Kotake!" replied the red witch, tittering into her hand.

"I already said that! Shut it!"

"Oh. You already said that. I'll shut it!"

"Koume, you are both making us look like clowns! As I was saying..." continued Kotake, the blue witch, "Your… special someone is just fine!"

"Special someone?" repeated Link, his face souring as he stared at Kotake.

"Not you too! Yes! The woman you're madly in love with!"

Link reddened in surprise, Navi turning white with speechlessness. "What? Nabooru? I only just met her! What makes you think I-?"

"No, you didn't. Don't tell us porkies, now!" cackled Kotake, "You met her seven years ago!"

"Yeah." sneered Koume, "You met her seven-"

"Glacies!" screamed Kotake in frustration, waving an uneven wand at Koume. A charm conjured a blast of freezing cold air from the end of her wand, zipping into Koume's body. The old woman's face scrunched as if she was chewing on a lemon and a stinging nettle simultaneously and Kotake's spell froze her up in a case of solid ice. Immobile, the witch fell to the floor with a **SLAM!** "Peace at last! Now, young man, as I was saying… Nabooru is not dead. However, your reunion is bittersweet!"

"What do you mean?" Navi demanded as Link stretched his sword further towards the Gerudo witch.

"She will be the one to witness your disembowelment!"

With that, Kotake spun and shrank into a crisp flame, taking her sister Koume with her. Link pulled the Mirror Shield as a loud thumping pounded on the other side of a brick wall.

 **BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

"Nabooru's lighter on her feet than that!" squeaked Navi at the noise. As if answering, the wall smashed on the opposite side of Link and a pile of metal on the other side marched through the resulting dust storm. In marched a massive Iron Knuckle, about half a length taller than the one Link had faced as a child.

" **HAH!** " it scoffed, " **You're my opponent? I've faced scarabs scarier than you!** "

"Aaaand I automatically hate villains who don't know how to use a door." countered Link, twirling the Master Sword in his hand like a drumstick before pointing it at his new foe.

The monster before him roared and raised balled fists above his head, raising them up and down like it was dancing. " **HUH?** " It quickly lowered his hands, scrutinising both of them as if it had just finished washing his hands and was checking for leftovers. " **It seems I have forgotten my weapon. 'Scuse me...** "

It raised its hands above its head, launching its middle finger into its palm with its thumb. As it clicked its fingers, a mammoth battle axe, like an even bigger version of the last Iron Knuckle's weapon, flashed into its curled gauntlet. With its intimidating weapon in hand, it rattled the axe like a tin of beans and began to march.

"Something's not right about this one, Link." Navi gathered, "This is no ordinary Iron Knuckle."

"What do you mean?" Link replied.

"Fight it normally… but hold back a bit."

" **HRAAAAAAAAAAR!** " The iron giant hacked overhead it's battle axe and scarred the floor with a howling **BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!** Link struck back with the Master Sword, holding back on his power but cutting a decent portion of the Iron Knuckle's armour off. A sizzling piece of chain mail tumbled to the floor, as well as part of a kilt.

Surprisingly, the Iron Knuckle didn't seem to be weakened. In fact, it sped up as if it had just downed a whole coffee stuffed with 50KG of black coffee beans. " **HYAH! ORYA! HAH!** " Link found himself not only dodging the axe, but also ton after ton of the surrounding pillars, which were crumbling down into the room like a sandstorm after the Iron Knuckle hacked through them.

Finding an opening, Link slid underneath the Iron Knuckle, getting up with a powerful slash. The armour at the back of the knight tore like seams in a jumper.

 **RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!**

The shell broke in half, but the inhabitant didn't. As the two halves clattered to the floor and separated into various steaming pieces, a figure fell to their knees in the centre of the floor like a character in a very dramatic school play. Long, red tails of hair dropped in front of her face and her breath was shallow, yet heavy at the same time. Her face was covered in makeup and she wore silk, pink clothing. Link turned, sheathing the Master Sword to look at who had fallen out of the ruined suit.

"Ugh..." the woman groaned, "Who did-?"

* * *

Link instantly ran over to help out of common decency, catching the woman as she fell back to the floor. "Who are you? Are you all right?"

"Link!" Navi cried. She lit up the Gerudo's face with neon green shock. "It's Nabooru! What were you doing in that suit?"

"Link?" Nabooru repeated, pulling herself up from the floor. "Is that you? The kid from ages ago?"

"That's me. You're safe, everything's fine. Just tell me. What were you doing swinging an axe around at me? Most unsafe, that is?"

"Sorry. Thanks for breaking me out of there. It was stuffy in there! The armour moved by itself while I was stuck in there and… I couldn't move. I apologise for what inconveniences I caused you."

"That's what I'm for." Link replied, "I fight so others don't have to. Now back on track, we need to hurry and get you out of here before those old hags turn up?"

" **And just what did you call us?** " screeched an ear-piercing voice. A window of frost hung in the air and Kotake the ice witch emerged from it like a submarine out of water. With her, a circle of fire ignited and Koume the fire witch joined her sister.

"Yeah, what did you call us?"

"Don't make me ice you again!" hissed Kotake, snowflakes dancing on the edge of her wand. Koume flinched in fear, putting her broom and reverse and going back.

"Caution. This witch is reversing." she chanted as she looked over her shoulder. "Caution. This witch is reversing. Caution. This witch-"

" **I GET IT! YOU'RE GOING BACKWARDS!** By Din, what a din!" Kotake moaned, yanking at her long hair, "Now, it seems that our prisoner has escaped! What an insolent, pesky old woman!"

Koume looked desperate to slip into the conversation with another repetition but instead, she pointed her own wand at her mouth and chanted "Silentium!" With no magic bolt coming from the wand, Koume's mouth went numb, preventing her from speaking and stopping her sister getting even angrier. She would… probably melt if she got too angry.

"I'd say we should probably make her work for us just a little while longer!" Kotake teased, narrowing her eyes at a sweating and quivering Nabooru. Without saying a word, Link stepped in front of her for defence. "What do you say, Koume?"

Koume jolted and her eyes widened at her name. She tried to speak but her own silencing spell had been used at a completely inappropriate moment. Her numb lips buzzed and hummed, but they formed no clear words. She pointed her wand to her lips once more, buzzed some kind of incantation and her lips tightened. "Yeah! We should have her work for us just for a little while long-"

" **ARGH!** I get the idea! Let's get her!"

Kotake swooped down at Link, striking the bristly end of her broom against his uncovered chest and raking the fibres against it. It didn't hurt much but the shock made Link recoil. Koume used this distraction, flying around to the other side of him and shooting a flashing, lightning-like bolt Link heard a scream and a loud sizzling and saw a flickering light behind him in the corner of his eyes and whipped around but Nabooru was already gone.

"Job's a good un'!" snickered Koume, puffing smoke off the top of her wand as if it were a pistol.

"Nice shot, Koume!" complimented Kotake, "If the lad here wants his **GIRLFRIEND** back, he'll have to come and get her, won't he?"

"Yeah, he'll have to-"

" **JUST COME WITH ME!** "

With all their bickering out of the way, Kotake dragged Koume through an archway lined with candles and incense burners, a furious Link coming at them so fast he could have run up the wall and along the ceiling if he wanted to. He ran, tripped, rolled and got back up as he passed a sign displaying something in Arabic along with and English translation down below.

 **ROOM OF PRAISE**

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Everywhere in life, the true question is not what we gain, but what we do._ _"_


	58. Hotter Than The Sun

**Sorry this took so long, everyone! Since the summer started, my family has been going on LOTS of trips! Hope you all understand!**

* * *

Pushing open two wooden doors with metal bolts, Link found the praying room. The floor was a red and gold carpet displaying a kaleidoscopic pattern like a peacock showing its feathers, and candles lined the place. Large piles of incense burned from torches in the corners, but incense is only supposed to burn in small amounts. The place's smell was so strong that it probably had muscles on its muscles.

"Hey, you! Witches!" called Link into the room, "I know you're in here! Release Nabooru at once!"

…

…

…

His call yielded no response.

"I'm warning you! This is your last chance! Let her go and maybe I'll return the favour!"

 **HUMMM!**

Two portals made of Egyptian hieroglyphics sizzled into the ground, both opposite to each other. The first, Koume rouse out of, and was made of red letters. The other released Kotake and contained blue patterns. The two witches cackled and spun their wands on their fingers.

"Hee, hee, hee! Look at this stupid kid! He came all the way over here to offer himself as a sacrifice to the great Ganondorf!" yakked the fiery witch. Yanking her broom out from under her, she chanted an incantation and a drop of fire ran to the bristles, torching them and setting the cleaning aflame.

Wait... wouldn't that be like setting your car on fire? No matter… The other witch did the same thing with her broom, casting an icy glare onto her broom, hardening it into a bludgeon. "Yeah, he came all the way- Hey, wait a moment! I'm the one who's supposed to speak first, remember? We rehearsed this!"

"With my flame, I shall burn him to the bone!" Koume continued, disregarding her sister's instruction. "...Come on! It's your turn now!"

"Oh, right! Ahem! With my ice, I will freeze him to his soul!"

Kotake was lagging behind a little, but she flew up to her sister, who took off in her direction, and they spun overhead like a pair of figure skaters or perhaps a mirror ornament that got tangled up.

It was the Mishapen, Maternal Magicians of the Manic Monarch of Murder and Mayhem*:

 **KOUME AND KOTAKE.**

*Hopefully, that is the last time I have to make a boss subtitle or it would probably have to be longer than this whole book.

* * *

The truth that these two were the ones who raised such an irredeemable monster as Ganondorf, the man who killed Link's father, his next father and any chance of Link having a normal life, had finally sunk in. Link fired an arrow as quickly as he could draw his sword, but Koume got off her broom and spun it like a desk fan, ricocheting the arrow out of the air and into the ornate wall.

Navi's voice interrupted Link's enraged roars. "Link, watch out!"

" **FIRE BLAST!** "

At the last moment, Link rolled and evaded a jet of fire spewing from Koume's broom and wand. It landed on the carpet and created a round pond of molten mess like an egg in a pan.

"He's in for a nasty surprise now, isn't he, Koume?" Kotake muttered. As Link was recovering from his roll, she pointed her wand and icy broom. " **TAKE THAT! ICE BEAM!** "

As she called her attack, sizzling stone-cold, magic emerged from her broom and wand but Link had no time to roll again as he would just end up in the boiling pit of fire Koume had created. Instead, he turned his back to Koume and let it hit him.

 **FSHWWW! WOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOO!**

The attack was made up of magic and we all know what magic does when it hits a mirror.

…What? Haven't you watched TV before? Just like a torch against a mirror, magic will bounce back off of a shiny surface and Kotake's spell did just that. Koume gasped and turned and said "Propero!" to activate a spell and go faster but the beam was even faster than that.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** C-c-c-c-cold!"

The witch screamed as ice hardened her hot fire and she began to glow a whitish-blue. The cold made her convulse and hang limply in the air but her sister, looking between her and her wand guiltily, hid the evidence behind her back and slowly edged away, casually whistling.

"I'll teach you to mock the dark arts! **INFERNO!** " Koume retaliated. The Mirror Shield was the first thing to meet Koume's onslaught. Link tried to make sure his arm kept steady to reflect the spell back at Koume but the force of the beam of fire, which felt like it was coming from a jet engine. Because of this strength, it knocked his arm into an angle and made the beam hit the retreating Kotake instead.

 **FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** " Kotake screamed as her sister's magic melted her icy charms, boiling the water left behind.

Link was reaching for an arrow to shoot the two witches down, but they started to fly in formation before he could. "Well, he's defying us better than we thought, Koume. Time to get serious now!"

The two spun in same direction as if chasing each other, but they were actually spinning closer and closer together, ready to join hands. "Yeah, time to get serious!"

When their hands clasped together, they vanished in a burst of fire and ice, covering about quarter of the stage in fiery pools. Another quarter of the room hardened into rinks of ice. The air cleared and the two witches had been replaced by one big sorceress.

"Meet Koume and Kotake's double dynamite attack! I am Twinrova!"

She was much younger than the two witches from before. She moved lithely and smoothly as if dancing on ice and looked so violently beautiful that she had fire in her eyes. Her makeup rivalled Nabooru's and it would make a clown look bland in comparison. Her hands were hidden in her sleeves and she held two broomsticks in them like swords. Her hair was a mix of red and light blue.

Link's jaw fell like a grand piano down a staircase and his eyes grew to the size of tennis balls as if he were wearing a pair of giant glasses. "What in the name of whoever invented the word 'what' is that?"

Twinrova winked and drifted past Link, floating above a ring on the rug. "Why, hello there, young man..."

"Um… hello..." Link replied slowly. Twinrova's left broomstick began to glow red and burned with heat.

"Here!" Twinrova said this casually as if passing a bowl of crisps at a posh dinner, but she instead threw a fireball from her glowing broomstick. Link held the Mirror Shield up to counter it and braced itself. This time, the magic fizzled and petered out as if the shield had absorbed it. Steadily, it began to make a repeating drone and the rim began to flash like a pulsating heart.

 **Wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo…**

"What the-?" Link stammered, "Why isn't this working?"

Twinrova's other broom began to shine. Because the left side of the woman was controlled by Kotake, this one primed itself with icy wind. "Why, I say, your new toy doesn't work any more! Especially not if I add this to the mix! Chill out, will you?"

 **WHOOOOOOOOSH!**

Ice gathered on the fibres of Twinrova's left broom and swiftly left in one blast.

"Link, run!" Navi suddenly squeaked, "Don't block it, dodge it!"

Link was confused by her order but he trusted her and followed it. A comet of ice hit the carpet, spreading out in a crowd of jagged crystals. "Why can't I block it? Blocking the fire didn't do anything bad to me."

"But… you saw what that ice magic did to Koume. You may not see it now, but the Mirror Shield is full of Koume's fire. If ice hits it now..."

Link winced at what Navi just implied, but Twinrova smiled snidely. Once again, she lifted her right broom and shot a burning fireball. This time, Link, knowing what was going to happen from Navi, let it absorb into the Mirror Shield. The alarming noise emanating from the mirror changed a bit and the red rim started glowing even redder, like the gentle flame of a fireplace.

 **Mee maw, mee maw, mee maw, mee maw, mee maw!**

"Such tricks will no longer work on me!" Twinrova threw her head back and laughed, "Come here and tangle!" With that, she descended to the floor, her slippers brushing against the carpet.

"This is more like it!" Link began to race at Twinrova, who lit her broomsticks up with each witch's respective magic speciality. "I'm best at this kind of duel, so know your place!"

* * *

The symbols on the wall glimmered red and blue. Link and the witch exchanged swings, each of their weapons making very different noises. Link's sword made its signature **VUMM** but Twinrova's brooms alternated between the sound of fire crackling and the sound of ice quickly setting over something solid. With every strike against her broom, the Master Sword's blade either caught fire or froze over from the effects added to what he was striking.

"Keep going, Link! Strafe a bit!" Navi coached, "Keep things unpredictable! You're doing great!"

All this help from Navi drew Twinrova's attention and, after groaning with frustration, she nimbly flipped back, landing at the far side of the room. Muttering an incomprehensible spell, a giant bottle appeared and was quickly fired at Link. He was a bit confused by this weird choice of bludgeon, though he could tell she was up to something and rolled away as the bottle only succeeded in scooping the air.

"It's going to take more than that to throw me off!" Link taunted. Twinrova ignited her brooms with their individual powers again.

"I doubt it." she countered, "What can you do without your fairy friend?"

"Wait, what?"

Twinrova lowered the giant bottle so it was floating in Link's face. Peering inside like he was looking at a rare species of fish, he could see not only his own face reflected back at him, but also a dot of light, bashing itself across the wall of the container in a frenzy, unable to move the cork from the top.

"Sorry!" teased the witch, "She was getting annoying with that squeaky voice! She sounds like a dog whistle!"

"No one threatens my friends!" Link began to quiver uncontrollably. With his blade on fire from his last clash, he charged. " **GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU WITCH!** "

 **VUMMMMM! KSHWASH! SHRRROW! FSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!**

Now, Link was aiming for Twinrova AND Navi's bottle. The young witch was doing a good job of moving the bottle from Link's reach while simultaneously locking in combat but Link was a fast target, and multitasking while fighting him was harder than making a water sandwich.

"Your fighting skills are most abhorrent." the witch mocked, "Are you holding back on me? You're keeping a lady waiting, you know?"

Resolute on saving Navi, Link took a jump back to distance himself and then drew his Hookshot, firing it past Navi's bottle.

 **CHIKACHIKACHIKACHIKACHIKACHIKA!**

"You'll have to aim better than that if you want your firefly back."

"I know." Link countered as the chain continued unravelling. Off behind Twinrova, the hook bounced off the hard wall and started coming back. "And I aimed better than you thought.

 **SMAAAAAAAAASH!** "Ow! What?" Twinrova cried out as the hook shattered the bottle. Navi was very lucky in that every shard missed her, most hitting Twinrova. "You're going to pay for that, you bag of bones!"

"Bag of bones?" Navi repeated incredulously, rejoining Link's side, "You must be about 500 years old!"

"Don't you know it's rude to call a lady old? Your partner will pay for that."

With all said and done, the two opponents threw themselves at each other and red and blue lights swallowed the room.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

From one loud noise to another, I see? Anyway, it appears that someone also hasn't heard of a door because a ninja, clad in a black sneaking suit, swung by a chain and shattered through a big glass window, flinging pieces of it everywhere. Brushing excess shards from his turban, Sheik kneeled to his master.

" **How many times am I going to have to replace that window?** " Ganondorf muttered. Before he let his anger get the better of him, he moved on to his main point of focus. " **What was my fortune, Sheik? I trust you followed through on my orders.** "

"As I did, my liege. Luckily for you, what he said seemed quite unlikely."

" **Don't just stand there** **monologuing** **!** **What did he say?"** Ganondorf demanded. Sheik jumped a bit, but he pulled out a scroll that he had written the fortune on and recited it.

"When Atinium Elm starts to move, the King of Evil will fall."

" **When what happens? Elm? That's a tree,** **if I am not mistaken. So, according to this… fortune teller… I will be fallen by a tree. I always thought it was the other way around!** "

"No, sire." Sheik said calmly, "He meant that when Atinium Elm moves, that is a sign that someone will beat you."

Ganondorf placed a hand on his chin and narrowed his eyes in thought. This simple movement had the strange ability to remove all feelings from your body and drown out any sound in the room. Sheik stayed still, worried that Ganondorf wasn't going to believe him and now he was going to execute him for lying…

" **That can never happen!** " Ganondorf declared happily, rising from his seat with a victorious smile. " **Who can command the vegetation and make the trees pull their roots out of the earth?! My murders will never come back to threaten me until the forest of… Atinium gets up and moves, and I will be king for my entire life!** "

" _That's what you think."_ Sheik thought to himself. He leaped through the broken window and pulled out a bullwhip which he had liberated from Lon Lon Ranch and used it to swing from gargoyles and architecture, looking to see how the Carpenters had got on with the Kokiri Forest.

* * *

Light continued to flash through the air in both the Spirit Temple and Kokiri Forest. On one hand, Link was still duelling with the sensuous Twinrova and both parties were beginning to weaken and on the other hand, it was still raining at Kokiri Forest and the sky was bleached with lightning strikes.

Mutoh and his men had finished setting a row of explosives around a large tree that they could not hack down with their axes. The boss threw a thumbs-up to a worker. "All right!" he called. "Blow the charges!"

For a moment, the employee he signalled to looked at him, his face painting a picture of confusion, before he took a deep breath as if he was about to shout at the top of his lungs. He then exhaled loudly onto the little, red sticks circling the tree. Mutoh nearly pulled a muscle from cringing with anger.

" **WITH A MATCH, YOU NUMBSKULL!** "

The worker realised his mistake and flushed red. Laughing hoarsely out of embarrassment, he struck a match on its box and dropped it onto the gunpowder filled tubes. When the fuse lit up under the shade of the tree, he ran for cover.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

 **Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak…** " **TIMBER!** "

 **CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

"Take that tree to the carving shelter." Mutoh ordered to his men. "Remember to make the carvings look like trees, all right?"

* * *

"You fight a man, I like that!" Twinrova purred, still with some fighting spirit. Firing a spell that pushed Link back as if he had just tried shielding an approaching train, fire began to consume the bristles of one of her brooms. "I love the smell of sizzling in the morning!"

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Just like her last two elemental projectiles, Link's shield drank the fire and the rim pulsed blood red. The droning noise intensified once more, practically screaming like a baby on a plane this time.

 **WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO, WEE OO!**

Is that the shield or is there an ambulance passing my house… or is the fight happening outside my house? Anyway, the point is that Link's shield was full of fiery magic and the mirror on the front barely showed a reflection because of all the magic dancing on the inside. Now with the upper hand, Link rolled at Twinrova once more, strafing around her various spells, rolling to the back of her and performing an elegant leap with a twirl, flinging the witch through the air and to the floor on the other end of the stage.

" **AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!** " the sorceress wailed, rolling to a stop. Stepping up uneasily, she wobbled as if drunk. "What are you waiting for?"

"She just won't shut up, will she?" Navi whispered to Link. She began to turn red with frustration.

"Are you going to come over and face me?" Twinrova rasped. She expected to come out in her current, smooth voice but she jumped when she heard the guttural rumblings of the two witches that made her up.

"No." Link smirked defiantly. He held the Mirror Shield up, allowing Twinrova to see her own scarred, beaten face. " **You** will."

"What do you mean I-"

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

As Link finished speaking, jets of fire hotter than the sun shot from his shield. He winced at his own blow, which, to spare you the details of what it did, briefly reduced Twinrova to a simple skeleton. Even that couldn't hold up as it disintegrated, turning to ash. When the fire died after her, a blue, glimmering light took her place. This orb split into two and the pair began to spin in circles, becoming the witch sisters once more.

Kotake rasped a word I can't right down without having to change the description. "What a skilled fighter! If this goes on, he'll be able to best our son in battle! What do you say we get serious, Koume?"

But, before her sister answered, the black mages turned light blue and became somewhat transparent. An ethereal ring appeared above both of their heads. "Wait a moment! What is that ring above your head, Kotake?"

"I don't know, but what is that ring above YOUR head, Koume?"

"Are you repeating me?" challenged Koume, turning to her sister. Blood veins began to pop onto her head.

"No! I'm not repeating you! You're the one who always repeats me!"

"I most certainly am not!"

"You most certainly are!"

"You did it again! Stop copying me!"

Link watched the deceased Gerudo argue, looking both confused and amused. Navi was the same, repeatedly changing from grey to pink and cycling between the colours. After five minutes of listening to them rabbit on about who copied who, Link shrugged and tried not to burst out laughing in case they could still smite him. _"Nutters!"_ he thought.

"One of us has to stop!" The two were now yapping in complete unison with the exact same tone and pitch. "Stop repeating what I'm saying! No, **YOU** are! **YOU** are! Let me get… Let… LET ME GET A WORD IN! You ungrateful… HOW DARE YOU CALL ME UNGRATEFUL, YOU IRRATIONAL… WHAAAAT DID YOU CALL ME? I AM VERY MILD MANNERED! NO YOU'RE NOT! YES I AM!"

Link could finally unplug his ears when the ceiling opened into a heavenly void and the bickering spirits were uncontrollably drawn into it at speed, like dust bunnies being sucked into a hoover.

" **WE'LL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU!** " cried both of the ghosts, but there was no way back out. The portal shut, leaving Link and Navi wondering why they weren't going in the opposite direction.

"Navi… Why are they going to heaven? They raised the spawn of Lucifer!"

"Beats me…" Navi answered, deadpan, "Whatever the reason is, they're out of our hair and they can't bother us any more! And look over there!" In lieu of pointing, Navi flew to a set of red curtains that had started to part. As if they concealed a portal to another world, the Chamber of Sages lay at the other side. More importantly, so did the last sage.

She had pink pantaloons, fiery red hair, lots of makeup and a pair of dual scimitars.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode._ _"_


	59. Hung, Drawn and Quartered

Link stepped through the curtains and by extension, into the Chamber of Sages, looking around until he thoroughly located Nabooru.

"So you're the last sage!" he said, letting the knowledge catch up. "I… honestly saw that coming."

"Kid..." Nabooru said herself, not continuing on Link's conversation, "Let me thank you. Who'd have thought the little boy from seven years ago would grow to become such a competent swordsman!"

"You saw all that?"

"Every swing. You fought well." Nabooru conceded, her arms folding across each other, "Better than I, a fully trained qatal of monsters, could ever have hoped to defeat those two hags. All I could do was be used by Ganondorf to do his evil will. That is what makes it even funnier that I, of all people, am the Sage of Light!"

"I wouldn't say that." Link comforted, shrugging at the same time, "Look at those swords you have there! Those look like they would really nip!"

Nabooru swung both her swords overhead and showed them off. They weren't nearly as strong as Link's own, but they made up for it with their looks. The handles were golden and a red ruby sat just before the blade started, just like Link's old Kokiri Sword. The blades had some kind of writing going up them, most likely Arabic. "Those are where my strength comes from. If I don't have them, I'm doomed, let's say."

"I am so sorry we couldn't come to help you earlier." Navi chimed, "It must have been awful in that suit, being forced to kill people against your will."

"Don't worry about that, fairy. I am now a sage and because of that, I can now have my revenge! I am going to pay Ganondorf back in full for what he did to me! Link, the Hero of Time, instead of keeping the promise I made to you when you were just a young lad, I give you this medallion!"

Something that she would pass down to the rest of the Gerudo in later years, Nabooru clicked her fingers and emulated the sound of a lightning strike. Just like that, the final medallion, the Spirit medallion, fell into Link's open hands. The Spirit Medallion was designed by two rotated commas, placed in a way that looked like a vortex. Nabooru's name was engraved in the middle in the Arabic alphabet.

"There you have it, Link." Navi told her partner, turning a proud gold, "The final medallion!"

" **INDEED.** "

"Who?" Link choked. He turned around, away from Nabooru, to face the first podium that he had awakened the first sage on, which was the yellow one. A big, stout man in a praying robe rose from it, a beaming smile on his hairy face.

"It is me, Rauru!" responded the man. "Even though you have awakened all six of us sages, I am destined to inform you of one more meeting. The last you need to take on the final showdown with Ganondorf waits for you patiently in the Temple of Time, just waiting for you to go in and find them."

Link bowed to this man who had protected him when he lost seven years off his life. He also had a feeling that he had been protecting him before that. Rauru stepped to him and, without a hand even coming out of its long sleeve, he pulled the glimmering Master Sword out and thrust it up, sending a heavenly beam skyward.

" **MAY THIS SACRED SWORD AND THE FAIRY SPIRIT INSIDE FULFIL ITS DESTINY! GANONDORF, MAY YOU DIE WITH YOUR TWISTED VERSION OF HYRULE!** "

Storms of cheering and applause went up from the green pedestal, the red one, the blue one, the purple one and the orange one. With the exception of Nabooru, who was already there, the rest of the sages appeared from their podiums, all clapping and shouting their encouragement as Link took back his sword and performed a spinning slash with it, creating a holy ring.

* * *

All races of Hyrule had caught wind of what was happening in the Kokiri Forest. It all started when a Goron saw battering rams and fake trees on his way home.

He then told Link the Goron, who ordered for the Gorons to make offensive weapons themselves. These included vats of lava, stone hammers, boulders and even a few defensive options such as Goron armour.

A delivery Zora was secretly taking a portion of rocks to the city and, seeing all the progress they were making, told the King Zora upon his return. Since Zora's Domain was still mostly frozen over, the King had his people use the hardest ice and crystals from the Ice Caverns to make spears, swords and shields as well as armour. They even managed to salvage a few things the corrupt research team had left in the base before they fled to the Water Temple such as muskets. The biggest takeaway were the mistreated dogs that had been kept in there for who knows how long. After being freed and given food and water by the Zora, the dogs did whatever they asked.

Following that, most of the Gerudo had decided to revolt against Ganondorf (Which didn't really matter because Ganondorf already found them revolting in the first place). They already had the weapons. All they had to do then was establish a secret alliance with the other races, which they accomplished with the help of detectives Twig and Buffalo. Despite their quirkiness, they were trustworthy chaps at the end of the day. Right now, the plan was in full motion.

With the Atinium Elm that they had harvested at the forest, the Kokiri Forest, as bizarre as it is to use in a sentence, was moving! The branches rustled into the remains of Hyrule's market and up into the wilderness that held Ganondorf's castle.

* * *

"Hsssss! Ssssssssssssire! Ssssssssssssssire! Wood!" Inside the castle, a scaly, no-good Lizalfos burst into Ganondorf's throne room, startling the evil usurper into dropping his wine glass.

" **Yes?** " moaned Ganondorf, his face dripping with red alcohol, **Whatever this is had better be important, or you're out, and not just from the castle.** "

"It issssssss important! Atting… Asinnian… Atinium wood! I ssssssssssaw it MOVE!"

The Lizalfos was extremely animated as it spoke which basically sold that it was true. Nevertheless, the great Ganondorf Dragmire rose from his spiked throne, pulling out his trusty, rusty broadsword.

" **Liar!** " he bellowed, " **Forests can't move!** "

"Punisssssssssshhhhhhh me if I'm wrong. Just inside our grounds, you can see it coming. A forest on legs!"

Ganondorf lunged at Lizalfos with a war shout and swung his blade overhead like he was tossing a caber, but he stopped before the quivering Lizalfos. " **If you are lying, I shall hang you alive in the forest until you die of hunger. If you tell the truth…** **you are lucky.** " With that, the lord ran away in his heavy boots, each step sounding like a thunderclap. " **If what that Lizalfos said is true, we need to prepare for war immediately! The little maggots are revolting!** "

* * *

"Hello?" Called Navi into the Temple of Time, where Link and herself had just reappeared into the mortal world. Link knew what was happening as soon as he felt the chill of something nimbly swinging by on a chain and he looked into the floor's reflection to locate the one he had to meet. All he saw was a metal chandelier, swinging from the fact that it had just been used as a swing. Also knowing of a certain test that he thought would come, he drew the Master Sword, which now shone golden from his awakening of all the sages. Sure enough, he felt a ninja bounding towards him.

 **VWOOOOOUUUUM!**

 **CHING!**

The lithe man bounced away, leaping off the wall and landing on the floor, his knife breaking from impact and flying across the room.

"Impressive." he commented. Sheik uncoiled from his twisted position and stood level with Link, now back in his original blue suit. "Since our first meeting, your reactions have vast improved. You are sure to be our salvation."

"I hope so, really." Link replied to him, sheathing his blade. "I can't just leave things like this. You people have lives ahead of you." Suddenly remembering the ninja's meeting quote from the desert, Link sat down on one of the church pews. "Have you come to say goodbye?"

"Yes **and** no. First, before any further progression, there is something I must tell you. Something important."

Sheik went up the church aisle and stood at the lectern, flipping open the scaly book that rested upon it. To compensate for his further distance, Link moved to the front pew. "I'm listening."

"As your surrogate father told you, the Triforce is a relic that weighs three essentials to the world. Power, Wisdom and courage. If a man's heart finds a good balance between all three of these pieces, the complete Triforce can grant that person's wish. If that man's heart is not correctly balanced and only favours one piece, the Triforce will shatter and the three pieces will spread to those chosen by destiny."

"Let me guess..." Link started, glancing back at the door at the sound of rustling branches, "...Ganondorf tried wishing on the Triforce."

Sheik turned over the page to verify his supposition. "You would be correct. Seven years ago, Ganondorf tricked you into doing all his dirty work. You opened the Door of Time to get the Master Sword, but what you didn't know is that you would disappear from this world after drawing it. With nothing standing in his way, Ganondorf managed to touch the Triforce, but he got no further than that. The three pieces scattered. Only Power found its way to him."

"And he got Power!" Navi added, "He's been on a power trip for seven whole years!"

"But that was not enough for him," Sheik continued, shaking his head, "He tried in vain to find the other two pieces, killing innocent people to try and extract it from them."

Link felt nervous. Strangely, it was the same kind of nervous as when he had met Sheik for the first time. "Go on."

"Link, **you** were the one destined to wield the Triforce of Courage."

"I… was?" Surprised by the news, Link took off his both his gauntlets and looked at his right hand. Navi's light didn't show any trace of a triangle, but his left hand displayed a faint, golden glow. Three triangles were arranged on the back of it to resemble one bigger triangle with an inverted triangle in the middle. "Are you the Triforce?" As Link spoke to it, the bottom right shape lit up as if to answer him. "What happened to the other Triforce?"

"That one is wielded by a **seventh** member of the sages."

Link suddenly jolted up, backing so far that be scraped the pew back against the floor and almost dislodged a thick-woven cushion from the seat and onto the floor. "What? Another sage? I thought I'd got all of them!"

"Now, you have." With a flourish, the Sheikah boy, one of the last of his kind, spun into a blue blur that completely obscured his shape. Suddenly, his turban flew across the room and landed by Link.

...The tuft of hair that always curtained Sheik's eye was fake. It was actually artificial and stuck to the top half of the head wrap. Looking back, Sheik's spin was starting to slow and he had long, flowing, blonde hair that unravelled like a waterfall of gold. Soon enough, he had slowed to a stop.

No, sorry! I believe I am getting mixed up.

 **SHE** had slowed to a stop.

A mature, grown face looked back at Link for a response. Instead of a sneaking suit, she wore a pink and cream coloured dress with a blue pattern going down the front.

"It is I. Princess of Hyrule and part time ninja. I am Zelda."

* * *

Link tried to distract himself from the sudden tsunami of information by flicking through the hymn book and looking studious but he lowered it, dropping it on the cushion next to him with raw, red eyes. He had known this woman… as a man. As a ninja. As a Sheikah. As Sheik. "I'm dreaming again, aren't I?"

A little worried that her reveal had angered Link, Zelda knelt down so she was level with his sitting position and felt his shoulder to let him know she was really there. "Why do you say that as if you have dreamed of me before?"

"In the Water Temple… I fell asleep from illness. Before I woke up in the Chamber of Sages, I dreamed of this exact situation. This place, this method of revealing, all of this. I thought I had you and my hopes skyrocketed… and then I lost you. I can't let that happen again or I'll lose my mind!"

"My disguise as a ninja was necessary, unfortunately." Zelda tried to keep her head up to have a talk, but she kept feeling an urge to dip it. Fighting this was harder than fighting monsters. "Without it, Ganondorf would have struck me down instantly to look for my Triforce."

"I thought… I thought I'd lost you so many times. Ganondorf tried to convince me of that himself… but you have been helping me since I left the Temple of Time that fateful day, haven't you? You've been teaching me lessons, honing my reaction times, right in front of me."

"Your Highness, if I may," Navi spoke up, having been lost for words earlier, "why did you entrust us with the Ocarina of Time?"

"Because I saw you on the way out of Castle Town. Because Ganondorf would keep chasing after me and… I thought he would completely ignore you, if I'm honest. Still, since he would pass you, I thought that would distract him from getting into the Sacred Realm, but his plan, which he was plotting the moment we met, trumped ours. Now, it is our turn to outsmart him once and for all. In the coming war against our oppressor, we shall lure him back into the Sacred Realm and shut it for good." Link started to cheer up, as Zelda could see, so she took his hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. To do this, I will need your courage so I can do my part."

Link gently smiled, peering out of a smoked window of the temple and then looking up at the lit candle chandelier. "I will suffer through any pain for you, as long as the six sages power my courage."

Zelda lowered her eyes and shut them, placing her hands together in a praying position. "I have one last gift for you, Hero of Time. Like the Master Sword, this ranged weapon can pierce evil's armour with one hit."

"No offence," Navi buzzed, "but he's already carrying everything but the kitchen sink into battle."

"These will just need one of your arrows." the princess clarified. With only a few left, Link pulled out an arrow that was already halfway snapped and Zelda daintily touched the tip of it with her finger. It was at that point that Link realised that he didn't even have to keep hold of it. The wood just stuck to Zelda's hand as the wound in it undid as if time itself was reversing. A gold casing covered the arrow like caramel around a biscuit and it began to shine like a gunfire.

"You only have one of those arrows, so use it only at the most opportune of moments."

"Thank you. I shall do my duty for you. For Hyrule."

What happened next was all far too fast. Smiling emotionally, Link launched himself into a hug with Zelda and held her tight, all while Navi tried unsuccessfully to warn them of a red spell, which had sneaked its way into the cathedral. The hug would have lasted much longer, possibly days, if Link hadn't been pushed away by a force.

 **KACLANG!**

"No! Not now! Not ever!" Raising his head from the floor, Link hoped that this was not what he was thinking, but it was exactly as he'd pictured the moment he was separated. A giant wall of crystal surrounded every inch of Zelda's body and the glare from the light outside looked like it was staring at him to keep back. "Let her go!"

Instantly, Link charged and withdrew the Megaton Hammer. He didn't take it into consideration that the mallet could hurt Zelda. He just heaved it overhead like a hatchet and smashed it into the crystal.

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

Luckily, VERY luckily, might I add, Zelda was unharmed. Unluckily, so was the crystal. Not even a scratch was left on its clear surface. Not even a dent. Nothing.

" **What a traitor you are.** " Ganondorf's booming voice shook the Temple of Time. " **Thanks for your help indeed, you dense fool! I commend you for evading my pursuit for seven long years. That is impressive! However, I knew you would appear to me if you were alone with this kid!** "

"You think I'm still a kid, do you?" Link shouted at the disembodied voice. "We'll see if that withstands when I have you hung, drawn and quartered! With this sword, no less!"

" **If you want to claim this fine lady for your own, KID, then you can find her at my castle! It's just too bad that you'll have to deal with all the bodies of your flying army as I blast them all apart!** " With that, the crystal began to rise into the air with Zelda still in it, motionless and worthless. When it disappeared from sight, Ganondorf let out the longest and most evil laugh he ever had.

" **HUH, HA, HA, HA! HUUUUUUUUUUH, HA, HA, HA! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH HA HA HA HA HA!** "

It went on and on and on. In fact, he ended it by coughing and spluttering as his voice stopped projecting. It ground to a halt, just like Link's heart. He silently sat down on a pew again and knocked his head against the back of the next one.

"Link," Navi flew down and turned pink, "She'll be fine. As she said, she just needs your courage."

Link took a deep breath in. Hearing the sounds of rustling branches and shouting soldiers outside, he steeled himself up.

"I don't know what that army is on the attack for, but they are heading straight for Ganondorf's tower." Link rose, keeping his hair over his eyes to hide his tears. Then, he drew the Master Sword, the glowing blade flashing golden from Rauru's added power. "I am joining in."

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"What's done cannot be undone."_


	60. Inner Peace

**Sorry for the hiatus, readers! I needed to do a lot of research for this one. My grandfather had a bunch of history books about wars and I had a few online interviews with veterans for research, so I hope that explains it!**

* * *

The walking forest, by this point, had been joined by a new force. The newly realised Hero of Time, as indirectly as his introduction was, had slipped out of the Temple of Time and was now sneaking behind a hulking Goron, who noticed him and gave him a slight nod and a wink to show that he was welcome to join in. To illustrate that, he tore off a piece off of his branch and shoved it into Link's hands for him to hide behind.

Unfortunately, the section of the branch was covered in thorns. In alarm and slight pain, Link juggled the branch around before managing to brush the spikes out. He then turned to Navi and motioned for him to hide under his cap.

Every time the group felt the cutting chill of a pair of eyes sizing them up, they would stop moving and just hide behind their branches. A lot of them had their doubts. After all, who would be stupid enough to not notice an entire forest moving? Apparently, Ganondorf. They had been moving for a quarter of an hour since they got into the market and they weren't showing any signs of stopping.

* * *

" **Here come the little monkeys now!** "

Ganondorf's army crested a barren, dry hill to face the faction of wood that was trying to sneak into their castle. Ganondorf was still not coming out. He could not risk the princess escaping her crystal prison.

" **MEN!** " bellowed the captain of the dark forces. He was twice as tall as Link, four times as tall as a Kokiri and… he was not human at all. He looked like a mix between a man and a bulldog and he wore a smock-like garment made of leopard skin and held up by a shoulder strap on one side, and he carried a large spear that was made of a mix of dragon bone and the hardest wood that his army could find. " **The Great Ganondorf demands your surrendering!** "

"This is interesting..." muttered a carpenter. He and his workers had been outfitted in identical armour, so telling which one was speaking was considerably more difficult. "...Why would he tell his own army to turn back?"

"He's talking to us." Mutoh said, wearing a surprisingly disturbing outfit with red war paint, leg wraps and a skull hat, "We've been rumbled!"

The rustling of a tree dropping sounded from the Hyrulean army. Her face deadpan and calm, a singular Gerudo detached herself from the army and, framed in the twilight, marched up the hill.

" **Any Gerudo who defect and aid his highness will be given her life. Any of you who aid us in killing the third bearer of the Triforce will be given theirs.** " said the monster. His voice was like a jet engine on steroids and it could likely blast a hole clean through a battleship.

"A likely story!" scoffed the Gerudo, facing what could easily be death as if it were just a lying weasel and nothing more, "How well does this 'Great Ganondorf' of yours keep any of these 'promises'? Does he deliver or does he punish you?"

The monster growled, baring his sharp fangs, and thrust the tooth of his spear lightly as a warning. " **This is your last chance. You either get knighted or GET KNOTTED.** "

With a battle-ready scream, the Gerudo threw her scimitars out of their sheaths and into her hands. " **MAY GANONDORF DIE IN THE SACRED REALM!** "

She wasn't the only one ready to fight. Powered by his owner's Triforce, the bulldog monster thrust his spear forwards with quite a wind-up. This wind-up gave the Gerudo time to leap, landing on his impaler just as Dark Link had done with the Master Sword. Gerudo naturally had the agility of a cat and this one was making good use of that. Flying through the air with the grace of a kite after using the monster's outstretched spear as a springboard, she drove both her swords down the middle of him, painting them red and leaving two messy halves falling to the battlefield.

" **Hold!** " Link's voice called from the back of the army, but it had been too late. The enraged eyes of enemy after enemy, Lizalfos, Dinolfos, more bulldog monsters, dark copies of the Hyrulean army, even Redeads and Gibdos, began to light up like a herd of goats having a flash photo taken at night. Before the Gerudo's provocation, they all just stood there, waiting behind their captain for the time to strike. Now they all looked like a horde of zombies ready to tear everyone apart like piñatas.

* * *

"Attack formation!" Hylian soldiers and captains stood in a massive triangle and burst through the front of their own team to chase off the advancing stampede. It sounded wrong. It sounded deadly. It sounded unnatural.

Much blood immediately started to shed under the blood moon that glowered over Hyrule. Link was frozen to the spot in shock at just how brutal it was. Unlike the one the Gerudo had slain, the monsters that followed it slashed down the blue-clothed knights left and right, stabbing them straight through with their spears as if they were blocks of cheese at a party. Projectiles flew back and forth as the sound of firing and explosions bellowed through the battlefield.

Link looked to the left. A Kokiri blinded a Wrathful Wolfos with Deku Nuts and threw dirt at it to extinguish its flames, but another bulldog creature, a Moblin, crept up behind them, ready to skewer them with its spear. The Triforce of Courage shone as Link showed his bravery, selflessly diving into the way to block the blow with the Hylian Shield. The sacred relic enhancing his willpower, he dodged to the side mid-struggle and the Moblin thudded to the floor where it was easily put down with a downward stab of the Master Sword, using the same motion as when Link would return it to its pedestal.

Link wiped his mouth clean of blood since the sheer force of the Moblin had driven his shield into his own face for a second, but he didn't have much time to stop for a rest because the battle was not over. Not nearly.

A lesion of lodestar-bright light from explosions illuminated the dark sky and molten-red blood shot upwards like an erupting volcano. This was followed by blue, yellow and green blood from monsters.

The allied forces were mauling the serried ranks of Ganondorf under a starless sky, but… he was yet to do anything other than save a few kids. All the rest of his team had accomplished more than he had in this war. He bore the Triforce of Courage for a reason, but… was he really any use on his own?

"I may not be able to mow down armies with only my blade..." Link muttered to himself. With Navi hiding in his pouch, he reached into his important pocket of it and pulled out the Ocarina of Time. "...but what good is a swordsman in a war without his trusty horse?"

And so, Link began to play the song that would call Epona. When all eleven notes had been completed, including the lingering one at the end, his close bond with his new horse allowed him to hear her, despite being a distance away. For a brief moment, he considered shooting his light arrow into the horde to plough them down like a lawnmower with grass…

" _No. Not now,"_ he thought, _"That must be good against Ganondorf."_

So, he wasn't going to waste his one single light arrow on just a singular army. What was he going to use instead before his horse got to him?

His courage.

"For Hyrule!"

Link flew like a brave eagle, dodging through the small swords of opposing soldiers in order to reach a larger Moblin ahead. It only turned around from rallying the troops when Link pounced and drove the Master Sword so far into it's midsection that it burst out the other side. No body was even left behind. The golden power that had awakened in the Master Sword flooded the inside of the beast and ate it up from the inside, consuming it in a sizzling, golden light.

 **SDFSDFDJFDSDFSDFSSSSSSSSDT!**

" **SLAUGHTER THEM!** " bellowed the backup Moblin that co-led the dark forces, pointing over at Link for his archers to spot. A faction of Hyrulean soldiers, as well as a few Gorons and Zora, stepped around Link in a big, protective circle with round shields, ready for protection as a rain of arrows flew up and into the blood moon.

They began to fall like herons looking for fish, stabbing dents into the shields of the army. Even though Link suffered not a single puncture, he heard the pained shouts of men being stabbed through by the points and clattering to the floor. The moment he saw a space, he crawled out so no one would come looking for him where the soldiers had all gathered.

In the open battlefield, he aided his old friends, the Kokiri, by blasting back a group of Dinolfos that were proving to be more than a match for them. Once they had all smashed into the dirt, he had them all gather near him.

"Are you all doing OK? They didn't hurt you?" Navi asked them. All of the kids lowered their heads as they silently nodded as if they thought they had made a mistake.

"Thank you all for your help." Link calmly told them, laying his hands on the shoulders of two kids. "However, it is unsafe for you to keep fighting. You have fulfilled your mission and you have permission to take refuge."

"But… you are the Hero of Time." a girl protested, sounding like she half-agreed with him, "We must protect you until you can get into Ganondorf's tower and strike him down."

"Is permission to flee from the Hero of Time permission enough?" Link gave the girl a smile. "Me and the others will take care of things from here. And I shall see to it that I WILL get into the tower."

Two of the kids looked at each other and, from the terrors of war, their eyes behind to water. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

And, with clear escape over a short peak just ahead, the Kokiri began to scramble up to safety. Only one stayed. His usual, permanent frown had been figuratively burned off his face, leaving a humble smile as a scar behind. His hair was a feisty, fiery ginger and his face was covered in spots, some from natural freckles and others from flying embers burning him.

"Hey, Link… Thank you." Link looked at him for a brief second or so as the army fought with the dark forces, but it took a while for it to click: Mido had apologised to him for his actions as a child. Now Link had returned the favour by saving him.

"No, thank you." Link replied calmly. "Run along, now. Your friends will be wondering where you are."

The sound of a boot stomping into a pile of dust made them direct their attention to a silhouetted figure, briefly lighting up from the detonation of a fire arrow hitting an explosive barrel. "This is as far as you go."

Link shielded Mido with his arm. A man with a staff entered the field, wearing the skull of a cow on his head and covered in black war paint. His armour was made of the fur and leather of a tough, violent animal, showing just how skilled he had to have been in battle to fall a thing like that.

"Who are you?" Link thundered, "What do you want from me?"

" **I** don't want anything." the man rumbled, slowly walking towards the duo, "Not me. I can't even fight! My only job is to lay out monsters for his omnipotence. That is who is after you."

The man's black eyes focused on the floor ahead of Link and his staff shot a black bolt into the dirt. It cast a sandstorm as a shape began to swim in the inky spell, growing from the size of a pea to several times the size of a spider crab. Pair after pair of legs erupted from it and began to support its shape from the floor. Two small, hooked appendages grew near its front and finally, a loud clanging sound came from its forearms, though the colour did not change.

Finally, a bright red, arresting eye opened on its front, but the rest of it stayed black. It reared back and screeched like a tyre on a road.

 **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH!**

It was Gohma, but she had been resurrected. Bought back to life and cast in an impenetrable darkness that made her a living shadow and granted her power, making her much more of a threat than Link had ever thought she would be.

The shadow spider crab leered through Link, her bladed forearms looking ready to split him and Mido in two in an instant. Her already deep voice was made even worse and it now sounded like a magnitude 10 earthquake. Mido quaked and Link held onto his arm to keep him under control. Although his Triforce symbolised courage, he wanted to turn and run. Run away from the war.

Run away from… honour.

Link couldn't give it any more thought before he heard the whinny in the distance, followed by hooves tearing across the ground and through monsters of the opposing side. Both Link and Mido looked to the left just in time to see Epona, a picture of sheer determination on her long face, run over a Moblin and become almost level with them. Still gripping Mido's arm, Link leaped up and onto Epona's saddle and dragged Mido with him. All Shadow Gohma did was fix them with a death glare as they galloped off towards Ganondorf's castle before beginning to pursue them.

"How do we fight that thing?" Mido shouted over the carnage of soldiers from both sides leaping from Epona's path, "What did we do last time?"

"The Great Deku Tree gave me a Sword Beam!" Link replied with an equal tone. "But how do I get another one?"

Epona swerved, dodging a Hylian engineer that had been dispatched to try and prise open the drawbridge to Ganondorf's residence and scattering the Lizalfos that had been dispatched to stop said engineer. For a moment, the armoured mechanic sighed in relief but then screamed as the Shadow Gohma thundered after him, her legs stomping with enough power to erupt Death Mountain. Had he not thrown himself out the way he would have looked like a block of Swiss cheese.

 **BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!**

Now, how was Link meant to get a sword beam all by himself? The last time he got one was in the ruins of the market, but didn't the Great Deku Tree reach beyond the grave and give it to him?

Or did he do it himself?

"Look out!" Mido interrupted his thought, "Rocks ahead!" The boy reached over and pulled the reigns left. Epona curved and just about missed the rocks that stood in the path. Shadow Gohma, however, blasted a black beam out from her eye, ripping a hole in it and pausing for a moment to peer through the molten gap, narrowing her eye to look for where her prey had escaped to. The thousands of men on the battlefield weren't good enough for her. Her entire existence was just there to put an end to Link.

* * *

"Do you remember getting a Sword Beam without the Deku Tree's help before?"

"I might have done." Link replied to Mido, "In the town square back there, but I'm beginning to wonder if I did that myself."

"What do you mean?"

"In the desert, my… mentor… taught me how to use Farore's Wind. All you have to do is clear your mind and be at ease." There was an almighty boom from behind as one of Shadow Gohma's lasers shot overhead and exploded in midair like a bomb. "And that certainly isn't going to help!"

Link felt a sudden pressure against his back as Mido climbed up and over him, landing at the front of Epona's saddle. "Look, I'll take control of this horse! You try and relax!"

"Do you even know how to steer this thing?" came Noi's voice from inside Mido's cap, "Since when was the last time you rode a horse?"

Link found himself zoning out and he turned on his saddle to face Shadow Gohma with his bow at the ready.

"Look, Link." Navi chimed in calmly, "We are just going faster than it. It can't hurt us."

The sprite was right. Epona was one of the fastest horses of Lon Lon Ranch. Shadow Gohma may have been big, but she wasn't a fast runner.

Link nocked an arrow as her iris turned from white to red to shoot a laser. Now was his cue to let the string go…

 **TWOIIIIIIIIIIIIING!**

" **AAAAAAEEEEEEIIEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!** "

And just as fast and identically as her former self, the spider shot up into the air, swivelled upside down while spinning like a pancake out of the pot and landed with a humongous **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!** There it lay, thrashing its legs as if it were doing aerobics. The surrounding soldiers did their bit, swinging halberds, claymores, swords and whatever else they could salvage to beat the bug into oblivion. Some used giant cigars, a crop tender used a farming hoe, a janitor used a mop

See? It was still vulnerable to arrows! He may not have been able to damage it with his sword but he could stun it temporarily. He was not falling victim Gohma for the second time!

…

Is this style of narration helping?

"Link, this horse is going berserk!" Mido shouted from the reigns. Link turned back to face him, hearing Epona screaming and bucking at the sight of dead horses and soldiers laying about the path but behind him, Shadow Gohma rolled back over and charged forwards like a Panzer, but… Link didn't mind.

"Soothe her." he told Mido, "Pat her side and let her know you're there for her. I'll hold the monster off, all right?"

As the crab you would never want to catch started to gain on them, Mido gently patted Epona's side and whispered his comforts to her.

Additionally, Link felt a small fizz from inside of him. The golden glow of the Master Sword lit up like a Roman candle. Even Shadow Gohma flinched as she saw it.

" _Inner peace..."_ Link thought with a sigh of breath, _"Inner peace..."_

* * *

 ** _Quote of the Day:_**

* * *

 _"_ _Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit._ _"_


	61. Childhood Friends

**BOOOOOOOOOOM!**

A sky-scorching screech lit Link's sword up in a flash of gold. Mido impulsively looked around to see what the source of the sound was, but turned back before he could accidentally steer Epona into the magma moat that Ganondorf had erected around his castle.

Link had gone deep inside himself, connecting with the power he had worked so hard to understand, calming himself, stilling the bouncing of his heart and banishing his hatred and fear. As he had done so as a child without even realising, he had created his own Sword Beam. However, it would falter and peter out if he were to lose that peace.

Shadow Gohma may have been staring defeat in the face, but she wasted no time in withdrawing her legs and arms to form an almost indestructible shape. This tank could now survive a bomb detonating right by her face.

Unfortunately for her, she could not quite stand the sharpness and power of Farore's Wind.

Unlike her normal counterpart, the Sword Beam didn't stop for a while as it hit the metal of her forearms. The beam sawed right through and Shadow Gohma made the same sound her normal self did back inside the Great Deku Tree when she was met with the same fate. Steam hissed upwards from a molten split that wove perfectly up the monster and back down the other side, as if she was an apple that just met a knife.

"You might want to look away now, Mido." Link steered Mido's face away from the scene as the smell of burned insect flesh filled the air, joining the other smells of death. Mido steered Epona to a stop as he heard two clattering sounds behind him.

 **BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

* * *

"That was horrible!" Mido uttered breathlessly, looking at the two craters left over. The explosion had not only taken out Shadow Gohma, but a group of monsters had gathered around her to try and push her two halves back together. They either had a killer death wish or they had rocks for brains but parts of them were now falling all over the field.

"If I needed to hear that, I'd ask." Noi tutted, showed herself. Mido briefly looked like he wanted to swat her out of the sky with a comic book, but Navi pressed herself between him and her.

"There's no need for that now! Mido, you have to go to safety with the others!" she ordered. Mido looked at her gratefully and nodded.

"Thank you, Navi." he said breathlessly. He then turned and stroked Epona's nose. "I'll see you… later, I suppose.

"Mido, look out!"

Through the peace that Link had just experienced and the fact that Mido had pulled over a pretty barren corner near the castle, Link had nearly forgotten there was a war on.

An occupied suit of armour inhabited by a Lizalfos was storming over, kicking up dirt with every step. Link threw his sword up, ready to counter, but a flash that matched the Master Sword's golden sheen blasted up in front of him.

When he shook his eyes awake, five shapes stood in front of him. He recognised each, but not what they had in their hands.

\- A pre-teen girl who came up to his waist restrained the Lizard's broadsword with a spear, decorated with wild wreathes and flowers.

\- A giant, hulking mass of wrinkly rock with a grey beard beat back the enemy's claymore with a hammer that could create earthquakes with a single drop.

\- An elegant, nautical lady hardened water into the shape of a rapier and used it to sneak behind the Lizalfos, tearing off its armour.

\- A formal and deadly woman, wearing a sharpened pair of knuckle rings to confound with speed and then strike.

\- One more dame with dark, tanned skin, prominent abs and a pair of patterned, fancy scimitars that she used to quickly behead the foe, its helmet flying through the air and dropping its scaly head out the bottom.

"Guys!" Despite the terrors and horrors of war, Link couldn't help but smile through it all.

Mido, on the other hand, looked like he was about to burst into tears. Not because of what he was seeing off in the distance, but because of the one person in the group who he thought he'd never see again. "Saria… You're back..."

Saria noticed the quivering boy beside Link, but she didn't do anything out of character for her. She smiled like an angel, plunged her spear into the ground and opened her arms. Mido shivered so hard that Link could hear his teeth clicking together, but he ran and embraced Saria hard.

"Don't worry!" Saria told him, feeling her shirt wetting slightly, "You're fine! I'm not mad at you any more!"

"I… I thought I'd never see you again!"

"So did I, Mido. Breathe, now. Count and breathe."

As the two Kokiri hugged it out, the other sages withdrew their weapons and formed a semicircle around Link.

"Once a hero, always a hero, I see!" Darunia guffawed before keeping his voice down, "That's the brother I swore into the Goron family!"

Navi looked between Darunia and Saria and spoke up, as Link was too shocked to talk. "If I may ask, where did Saria learn to use a spear? I can understand you, Darunia, because you have that great big hammer..."

"Sages have a strong responsibility, little one." Darunia responded. He couched down so the enemy could mistake his back for a plain rock. "That not only involves living in the Chamber of Sages until their job is fulfilled, but I do believe that the schedule also has a bit of Ausbildung on the agenda!"

Link suddenly blinked and shook his head rapidly. "I'm sorry… what on the agenda?"

"Oh! Sorry! We did some physical training! That's it!"

"The Goron is correct." Impa slid her joined knuckle rings off her fingers as quickly as she had used them to take out the Lizalfos. "Though we are sages, we cannot forsake our combat training and allow our skills to get rusty. We still have two more tasks ahead of us."

Mido let go of Saria so she could speak with Link herself. "This rose has thorns, as I'm sure..." She turned back to Mido but stopped herself from continuing. She really wanted to forget all the times she threw Mido about when Link was a child. "...As I'm sure that lizard guy found out, is what I was going to say! Anyway, one of those jobs is to go into Ganondorf's castle with you to take him on!"

Link looked down at his childhood friend and then he turned towards Ganondorf's tower. A ring of smoke surrounded the spear at the top, making it look like the structure was ripping a hole in the sky. He then looked at the foreground that led up to it. More accurately, the lack of a foreground. The castle was magically separated from the mainland and hovered precariously over a crater. Said crater was also filled shallowly with magma, so there was a deliberately long way to fall before being burned to a crisp. Not even Mike Powell would be able to clear this gap, had he been around at this time.

"I'm glad to have you all fight alongside me," Link began, "but how do we plan to get in?"

"Um…" Darunia began stuttering for words as he pulled his grey beard. "we could all form a human bridge across there and… Link could walk across to safety!"

"But how will you get across?" Navi rightfully pointed out, "And, no offence, but how will everyone hold you up? Do we even have enough people to make a bridge for that distance?"

Suddenly, the sound of wings cutting through the air sounded overhead, as well as the cry of a great bird. A blade made of the wind cut through a faction of Ganondorf's army and a large, brown creature barrelled in corkscrews, landing on the floor with his scaly talons and sending dust everywhere. It was only then would he uncurl himself and reveal his avian shape.

"The big lad is right."

"Oh, it's you!" Link smiled even wider than he already was at the Magna Owl that he had slowly grown to like as a child. His wings were covered in technicoloured blood from dive-bombing through all those monsters and the rainbow of colours made it looked like he had just flown face first through the Mother Earth painting while the paint was still fresh , but he still had that trademark look of gentleness with thin eyes and a relaxed face.

Darunia smiled and punched the air triumphantly. "Jaaaaaa!" he hissed to himself before pulling a notebook out of his beard so he could remember the owl's. "Please explain how I'm right, um… Kaepora… Gaebora, if that's it! Now that I think about it, I may be a tad to heavy to be in a bridge."

"I may have said you were right," the wise owl crooned, hunching over, "but I never said that it has to be a human bridge. We sages can bend light into the realm of tangibility."

All of the sages stopped talking, with only Nabooru letting out a war cry as she used her scimitars to turn an approaching Redead into sashimi. They were all digesting the owl's words because something about one of those sentences was wrong.

…

…

…

None of them got it. Instead, Navi popped from Link's hat and flashed neon green so vividly that Link had to cup her with both hands so she didn't give their hiding spot away to the enemy. "Wait! 'We sages'?" she loudly explained, muffled from Link's gauntlets, "You're-"

"As I was saying, if we all join up opposite the entrance to Ganondorf's base of operation, we can make a bridge out of pure light." The big bird started to look slightly shifty as his beady eyes darted back and forth. "But in order to avoid attacks while we create the bridge, I shall create a safe spot for us."

And so, Kaepora shot up, scattering dust as if a helicopter had just taken off. When he reached a height where he was out of range of enemy arrows, he lifted both his wings and place them together, relying on the updraught he created to stay in the air. Much like a drop of water from a syringe, a ball of light appeared and grew at the tips of his wings and jetted downwards.

 **FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

And, faster than you could say "we need a shield to make a bridge safely", Gaebora had created a forcefield in the ground just in front of Ganondorf's base. The few enemies that were gathered there were instantly vapourised, but not the Hylian soldiers fighting them.

"Very well, then!" Link announced. He climbed up over the rock and beckoned for the other sages to follow him. "Let's do this!"

Saria stepped into the forcefield to join Link, taking Mido with her since he had no safe way back at the moment. Kaepora Gaebora, standing in the middle, extended both of his wings out. Darunia gently held his left wing and Saria came up and joined hands with Link, who stood all the way at the far left.

On the other side, Ruto elegantly entered the stage and took Kaepora's right wing. Since she was covered in scales, which secreted glyco-protein slime, his wing was a bit hard for her to get a firm grasp on and for the first few attempts, her hand slithered through his feathers. However, she beat back her frustration, hid it under the rug and connected with Impa (who had luckily remembered to take her sharp knuckle weapons off first. Zelda's bodyguard then joined with Nabooru, but she looked a little untrusting as she did so, still not quite trusting the Gerudo for all that they had done.

As for Mido… he just sat at the back of the ring, quivering. To be fair, it's not like he had the powers of a sage or a legendary hero. Additionally, the sight of Moblin hammers, Stalfos swords, Iron Knuckle axes and Lizalfos knives pounding on the forcefield would turn even the most stoic soldiers into jelly. They were so strong and determined that they were cracking the barrier. Even though the damages repaired almost instantly, it was NOT a reassuring sight.

Back at the chain, Kaepora had all participants close their eyes and begin to hum a song of praise. It started at Zelda's Lullaby and as they reached the bridge, a trickle of lights flew out from the forcefield bubble, decreasing its size but not enough to severely reduce the standing room inside of it. When the energy stopped flowing, they switched songs. Now they were crooning the Song of Time. With each hum, the magic extended further and further across the gap and the enemies that tried to strike down the barrier got electrocuted by it. When the full song had finished, the light from the forcefield had gone and was transferred into a path that leaped across the pit.

"We did it." Impa said flatly, serious as always. "Now is no time to marvel at it, however. We all must go inside and finish what we were allowed out of the chamber for!"

"You all go on ahead!" announced Kaepora Gaebora, "I shall hold off Ganondorf's army as the bridge fades away!"

Link nodded at him and then looked left and right at the sages on either side of him. All of them jetted off, but Saria hung back with Mido.

"You take Epona out of the battlefield and bring her to the forest." she said, helping the boy up and onto the horse's back, "I have one more job to do and then I'll be right back with you."

Mido nodded and then smiled. Before he spurred Epona into a gallop, however, he grabbed an approaching Fire Keese that a summoner had produced, ignored the burning sensation in his hand and launched it into a charging Moblin, setting the beast on fire and giving him an opening to run it over as he made a run for it. Saria didn't turn her head as she followed the other sages into Ganondorf's castle until she saw Mido safely exiting the courtyard of Ganondorf's land. Eventually, he faded into the ruins of the market and then into the field.

* * *

 **Duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Duh, duh, duh duh, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…**

Though Ganondorf could sense an unauthorised presence in his castle, he kept his eyes shut as he sat at the pipe organ behind his throne, playing a simple yet chilling tune. As he reached a bridge in it, the first inversion minor chords cycled through a semitone down and a minor third up pattern. He had composed it to sound unnatural, placing fourths in some chord voicings to tap into an audio version of the uncanny valley.

Yes, his army had failed but do you really think he intended for them to win in the first place? He had just sent them out to potentially weaken the hero so that when he DID invade the castle, Ganondorf could stomp him into the curb with relative ease.

Zelda stood above him, still trapped in her crystal prison. Unfortunately, the strong material of the crystal was not soundproof and she had been listening to the same droning song all day. That was by far the least of her troubles and it still managed to annoy her. She wanted to call out and ask him to change the song but… he probably didn't take kindly to song requests.

No, wait, he took a moment to stop playing entirely and flashed a slasher smile at Zelda. If his ugly mug would just break the crystal…

"Your first mistake, my pretty, was trusting in these foolish beings you called 'Goddesses'."

"Blasphemy!" Zelda exclaimed, her voice muffled by the crystal, "You dare defy Din and her sisters?"

"Quit making such a din in there. If those blasted, flying trophies really existed, then they had no care for your pitiful land. If they did, then why did they let me take it over with no such trouble? Answer me that!"

The princess remained silent. Ganondorf grinned again, thinking the argument was over, but his prize responded. "The Goddesses help us through the pain we find. They can't stop it all together."

"In that case, they may care for your land… they just can't do anything to help it."

 **Duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh… Duh, duh, duh duh, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…**

* * *

Remembering that Link was making his way up the tower towards him at speed, Ganondorf continued with his organ, pressing on the keys twice as hard and increasing the overall strength of his song. He hoped to use it to unnerve Link so much that he would be completely off guard at the beginning of their duel of fates.

"Not another staircase!" an exasperated Link heaved himself up a spiral staircase, only to find himself at a small, straight floor that was followed by yet another staircase. "Navi, you honestly don't know how lucky you are!"

Kaepora Gaebora soared his way up the tower after the rainbow bridge faded, meeting the heroes by breaking through one of the stained glass windows and almost showering everyone in shards.

 **SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!**

" _Show-off!"_ Navi thought to herself as she turned green with envy. She may have had wings but if she had the weight and speed to smash through the window like her feathery friend had just done, she would have just done that instantly. Maybe she would have even thrown Ganondorf out while she was at it.

"All right, I'm back!" announced Kaepora, ruffling his feathers, "What did I miss?"

"Thankfully, us." Link flicked a coloured piece of glass from his ear. "Any chance of the end around here? I'm beginning to think Ganondorf made all these stairs just to tire us out!"

"We just have this one to go. Then we shall arrive."

The group of sages, the hero and the owl kept walking up the stone steps, dragging their hands across the smooth brick wall until they finally arrived at the next flat piece.

Ganondorf's throne room.

From here, his organ could easily be heard droning the same song he had heard since he arrived. All that was separating Link and Ganodorf's duel of fate was a big, wooden door with great metal bolts and a skull holding the ring handle.

"I am sensing a strong, evil presence from behind this door." Navi said. She began to glow red to signal the upcoming danger. "Once you go through this door, there is no turning back. Are you all ready?"

"Like you even had to ask." Link quietly responded. He plunged the Master Sword through the door's lock and burned the mechanism inside with its holy light. Only then did the lock tumble off and onto the floor. The swordsman gripped the handle ring of the door and almost knocked on the wood with it on impulse, but he pushed the obstacle open, suddenly drowning in a sea of red, ominous light that came through the red, throne room windows. Seeing a figure hunched at a large instrument, he kept his sword out and beckoned for the sages to enter.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends._ _"_


	62. The Triforce of Courage

Ganondorf stayed calm, yet he stopped playing his organ when he heard his throne room door creaking open, followed by the footsteps of a crowd of people entering. As if he was a cheery entertainer at a bar or a casino, he swivelled around on his spinning chair, grinning mirthfully at the sight of the Triforce of Courage in the Hero of Time's hand. He wasn't even caught off guard by the fact he had bought the sages with him.

" **What do you lot think your doing, then** **?** " blasted Ganondorf with his scratchy, yet fierce voice. Link looked up at the crystal Zelda was imprisoned in, seeing her placing her hands against the walls and gazing longingly at him. The back of her hand began to shine gold as the Triforce of Wisdom reacted to Link's and Ganondorf's simultaneously.

Kaepora fixed Ganondorf with a killer look as his eyes flashed. "Stay alert!" he told the group calmly.

Saria pointed her plant-encrusted spear at Ganondorf. "You killed my father!" she announced, sounding stricken with grief and anger. As she ran towards him, the rest of the group followed.

"Get him!" Darunia commanded, curling into a ball and rolling. Link led the charge, holding the Master Sword above his head.

"Get away from her!" Link shouted out, but the group didn't get too far before Ganondorf held his hand up towards Zelda's crystal and positioned his fingers in a way that implied he was about to click them. Dark smoke began to curl at his fingertips, threatening to implode the crystal with the princess still in it.

" **Now, now, let's stop and think about our actions, shall we?** " the warlock rumbled, " **If my fingers slip, I might… mess up her beautiful hair!** "

"You…!" Link could only pant in rage as he stopped just before the small incline that went up to the organ.

"You're disgusting!" came Ruto's voice as she materialised a sword out of water.

" **How about you hand over those dangerous toys you have?** " Ganon teasingly snarled, " **I could take both the sword and the Triforce after I smash you all into a pulp that I can spread on my toast… but we wouldn't want that, would we?** "

Link still gripped the handle of the Master Sword in both hands, letting the golden glow illuminate his face. Ganondorf grinned, waiting for his response but Kaepora spoke up first.

"The Master Sword is of no use to you. It will only do you harm."

Ganondorf repeated the owl's last sentence as if he was making sure he heard it correctly and then coughed with laughter. " **You think I'm planning to take it by the sharp edge, do you? You must have feathers for brains! Let the REAL hero make the decision!** "

All the sages laid eyes on Link, whose Mirror Shield reflected their anxious gazes. Link turned his head back to them, let a small beat go by and then nodded cunningly at them and then repeated the gesture at Navi. Eventually, he looked back at Ganondorf, making sure to look beaten.

"All right." he said, frustratedly angry. "You can have it. But only if you let her go." And with that, much to the shock of all the other sages, he rammed the Master Sword into the centre of the floor and backing away, putting his hands up as if surrendering. With the gleam of victory in his vertically slit pupils, Ganondorf stepped down and began to approach the holy weapon.

" **There's a good boy!** " jeered the King as if Link were a domestic pet, " **You're always eager to please authority, aren't we?** "

The other sages were stunned at Link's action, but Kaepora gave a speechless Saria a small nudge with his wing. One look at him reminded her of the owl's warning to Ganondorf, which the wizard had definitely ignored.

Then she smiled, catching the eyes of the other sages. They all watched Ganondorf as he shot them all a smug look and, as if in a trance, stopped in front of the Master Sword.

"Why do you want it?" Link acted breathlessly, "You were just told you can't use it."

" **I can't tell you how badly I've wanted this sword.** " replied Ganondorf, raising his hand to his forehead with a pained expression, " **Have you even learned how the thing works?** " and with that, he stretched his fingers around the hilt…

…

…

…

… and screamed as his body filled with the light of the gods before he could let go of the blade. The pain was intense and so all-consuming that the wizard briefly forgot who he was. It felt like knives heated to the world's hottest temperature were stabbing him again and again, his head surely about to burst with pain as he screamed so loud that a small crack appeared on some of the surrounding windows.

"See?" Link told him, keeping a calm face and voice as he towered over the crumpled man before him, "You can't hold the Master Sword and, by extension, you can't wish on the Triforce."

" **You…** " Ganondorf choked, pulling himself up and whipping two hands onto the handle of his broadsword, " **You always have to have the last word**! **Give me the Triforce!** "

"Enough of your rage!" Kaepora growled back at the other end of the room. As he readied himself, the other sages followed through. "You're a traitor, Ganondorf!And you're not getting away!

* * *

Link didn't have the time to notice that Ganondorf's sword had changed appearance before the warlock charged, slicing overhead. Link scissored the Master Sword over to meet his and as they clashed, their respective colours flashed like a lens. Link's bled its new golden light, which trailed in the air as it moved and Ganondorf's turned villainously red, causing the whole battle to turn into what was essentially the duel with Phantom Ganon. One hit from either side would be serious unless a glancing blow occurred.

Ruto and Saria joined in with their respective weapons shining with blue and green lights respectively, striking Ganondorf's blade with a toll that echoed up and down the corridors of the entire building. Even with all these extra weapons in the mix along with the amazing synergy between Link and the sages, Ganondorf's now thinner blade proved efficient for multi-tasking and moved erratically like a pneumatic drill to throw the two sages off.

His fighting style was primarily based on powerful strikes, sacrificing speed for unrivalled power and if that was all the speed he had to sacrifice, it was terrifying to even think of what his speed would be if he had chosen to follow a different style. In moments, he had thrown Ruto and Saria aside so he could focus all of his fury on Link.

" **I'll slice you to pieces!** " Ganondorf snarled, grinding his teeth and lunging once more. Locking his sword against Link's, he noticed Kaepora rising into the air, putting his wings together and creating a light blue sphere of aura. " **Actually, never mind! Your** **fat friend** **will do it for me!** "

The moment the projectile was fired, Ganondorf's boot launched Link across the room. Letting a grunt of pain pass, he landed by Darunia and raised his head to see the owl's attack being launched at him by the dark wizard.

So, being infinitely confident in the abilities of the Master Sword, he did not run away and potentially let it hit someone else. Leaping to his feet, he sliced the Master Sword into aura sphere, bounding it off the blade and straight at Ganondorf. The tyrant was not even surprised at this turn of events and launched it towards Saria with his own sword again, turning the attack red in the process. The Sage of the Forest effortlessly returned it with a simple jab and made the ball change to green, but it was sent back towards Darunia in an instant with a slash combined with a backflip.

Darunia's red hot hammer launched the orb into the air where Nabooru jumped off his back as if it were a springboard, delivering the final blow with her orange, glowing scimitars and spiking it back into Ganondorf. The Dark Lord, who could only look up with no time to react, felt the ball strike his body, as well as the thousands of volts invading it.

" **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

The enemy was now paralysed from Kaepora's energy ball. Link charged him down with the Master Sword as Impa followed with her curved-hilt sword and the lights of blue and purple met Ganondorf, burning through his armour and some of his skin, cauterising the wounds immediately and sending him flying back into his organ, smashing the instrument in the process and sending an awful crashing of organ strings tolling through the room. Luckily for the warlord, both hits just barely grazed him.

" **You think that's clever, do you?** " Ganondorf pulled himself out from the wreckage of his organ. As he spat out a key from it, he reached for another handle by his side, pulling out an identical version of his current sword and holding it in his left hand. Hate also consumed that weapon, making it glow blood red. " **Let's see how good you are without your friends!** "

Before Link's partners could rush in again, Ganondorf extended both his hands, sending an invisible force out of them and pinning them against the windows that lined the room with nothing but the air. Saria was the first to hit the wall because of her light weight and her spear clattered to the ground. Even Kaepora Gaebora was pinned against a pillar separating two of the panes of glass. Their grunts and screams of effort did little to tell Link that he needed to attack to free them.

He let out a tremendous war cry that would have scared all monsters he had faces so far in his quest all at once, dragging the Master Sword into the floor and firing a shower of sparks, leaving a red hot furrow in the ground as he went. He launched a kick at Ganondorf which knocked him clean down but his execution was stopped by the monarch's second blade, which he flicked in front of himself and deflected the Master Sword. Ganondorf leaped up and went back on the offensive, spinning like a helicopter and only briefly stopping every second or so to swing.

This went on for what seemed like an eternity to Navi, who was deciding to keep quiet at this moment so as not to distract her partner, with the two men using not only their swords, but their fists and legs as well. Both sides had extreme reaction times and could block attacks that even a ninja would have had trouble avoiding, but Link was slowly beginning to slow down after a while. Seeing this, Ganondorf calculated his stab and turned so Link impaled his cape instead. Slashing the top end off himself and thrusting both his hands forwards at Link, an unseen force, the same one that imprisoned the sages to the walls, blanketed the Hero of Time underneath the garment.

In the short time it took for Link to rip the remnants of the cape to ribbons like paper in a shredder, Ganondorf was gone.

"Link, above you!" Navi called, but she hadn't even got the whole sentence out when the wizard fell from the ceiling, landing with a **CRASH** on top of Link and knocking all the wind out of him. Several of his bones bruised and his left leg blared with pain.

" **Your precious childhood… I gutted it while you floated helplessly and watched.** "Ganondorf delivered venomously as he held his sword down to Link's jugular, " **Instead of enjoying the rest of your young days skipping around in the forest, climbing trees and making daisy chains, you had to destroy your mind and body to restore a world that you didn't even live in. How did that make you feel?** "

Link didn't answer. He wasn't going to show any anger, nor would he take it out on Ganondorf. That was part of his battle style. The practitioner would use taunts that would expose the opponent's inner doubts and their weaknesses, disrupting their concentration. He could not hide his twitching eye or the blood vessels popping on his head.

"Link!" Impa's voice cried out from against the wall, making Link and Ganondorf look. "Catch!"

Ganondorf made a run for Impa's katana that she had thrown to the Hero but his absence let Link rise to his feet, grab the sheet music book that lay by the ruins of Ganondorf's pipe organ and lob it so it opened mid-flight, drifted through the air and comfortably landed right in front of his eyes, filling his sight with C minors and quavers.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!** "

In his resulting blindness, he completely missed Impa's sword, tripped and fell to the floor. In the span of all that, Link caught the weapon by the curved handle and pressed the button on the side. Purple light surrounded the metal, just like the blue light from Link's own sword but in a different colour. Ganondorf scrambled back up himself, not looking hurt at all but his face was a picture of rage and humiliation and to ramp things up, he turned both of his blades so the handles were facing each other and then plunged them together, the odd shape of the bottoms seamlessly entwining together.

Instead of dual wielding two separate blades, he was now holding one double-sided sword with the handle in the middle. Both ends still had his pure hate running through them and the metal continued carrying a blood red stream of light.

Fuelled by their fury and passionate fighting, the two leaped forwards, Link striking with one sword, quickly following through with the other as Ganondorf jabbed his staff sword forward and around as if it were a club, his moves becoming cautious to make sure he didn't hit himself with his own weapon, not only swinging it sideways but also twirling the handle so that it completely cleared his own body.

 **VUM! VOMVOMVOMVOMVOM! TSSSSK! VVVVVVVVVVVVM! TSSCCCCCHOW!**

The rest of Link's friends were still silent and pinned to the walls, not they could say anything if they even tried. The panes were now cracking with the amount of pressure, but Ganondorf's swordplay was weakening, since his mind was split between the man in front of him and keeping the sages pinned with his invisible forces. One particularly strong hit from Impa's katana threw the overlord off balance and he had to spin backwards to regain his position but the Master Sword swiped up, forcing him to hold his joined weaponry out in front of him in defence.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Steam and sparks were released as Link cut through the handle of Ganondorf's conjoined edges, ripping it in half and making Ganondorf shout in surprise, now being forced to dual-wield like he was doing beforehand.

One problem for him, though, was that Impa's weapon that Link wielded along with the Master Sword had a curved hilt, whereas neither of Ganondorf's weapons did. A curved hilt could massively increase the ability to give small, quick flicks and directional changes by varying the tension in the grip of the little finger. With the near weightless blade Impa used, this advantage was immense. Ganondorf couldn't keep up with his opponent despite the latter having aching bones almost everywhere as well as a weakened leg. The Kokiri Tunic he wore was the only thing Ganondorf was even able to slightly hit, taking advantage of Link's mobility issue and tearing tiny pieces of black and green, hardened fabric from him, which landed on the floor. Still, only looking like he had walked through a group of thorns, Link found an opening to roll around the side of his enemy and use his good leg to kick Ganondorf's left leg, which he had done nothing to protect through the fight.

At first, there was no reaction other than a slight recoil as well as a confused look, but the manic monarch leaped over Link and landed on the other side, to which the young swordsman responded with a swift kick in the ribs, followed by another one to the shin.

" **I don't know what you're trying, but it's not working!** " Ganondorf announced as Link landed. He was about to go in on the offence again but Ganondorf turned, held his sabers out in front of him and spun them around rapidly, whirling the one in his left hand clockwise and vice versa, marching towards Link and gouging the guts of the floor out below him. " **Just DIE!** "

 **VUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUMVUM!**

Link was never good at maths as a child. No matter how much Saria taught him, he could never get a grip on things.

Thinking on his feet and doing maths to figure out where to aim his blow at the same time? Out of the question.

Ganondorf was rapidly gaining on Link, who was now backing towards Saria for his life. He shot a nervous glance to her, asking for her infinitely better skills at mathematics, but the restraining power Ganondorf was maintaining on her stopped her from speaking. She was, however, able to look left and then down before looking right and then up.

And, as Ganondorf drew to the distance where Link could feel his breath on his face, he thrust his hand forwards, using Din's Fire to singe Ganondorf's face and blind him before he lunged the Master Sword, which lay in his left hand, forwards while simultaneously shoving Impa's Katana, which was in his other hand, slightly higher up than the former.

 **BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz…**

The spinning stopped. Link's blades were in the right place and his timing was on point. The power of the Triforce stopped Ganondorf's attack, which was inevitable for any other swordsman. Now, the power of the gods dueled against the power of pure hatred as the fated combatants engaged in one last blade lock.

" **Wh-what? How are you doing that?** " Ganondorf blasted as he felt his dark heart drop. Link's swords quickly overpowered his own, but his face didn't show much exertion or anger. There was something soft, yet demanding at the same time in it.

"Think of it as… divine intervention." and with that, Link aimed a final kick at Ganondorf's shin. This one, coupled with the others he had delivered earlier, was enough to knock the leader off balance. Penultimately, he swung the Master Sword outwards and up, slashing deeply through what the Master Sword made sound like paper.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHH!** "

And finally, Impa's katana was slashed horizontally and Link heard the sound of Ganondorf flying through the air and smashing into the remains of his pipe organ.

At that moment, the towering brass pipes that the instrument had used to amplify itself collapsed, burying the man beneath them. When Link opened his eyes, he saw Ganondorf's abandoned arm on the floor, the wound being cauterised where the Master Sword had severed it. A horrid stench of burning meat filled the room, but it was a minuscule price to pay when the swordsman realised that the defeat of the King of Evil had released the grip of nothingness pinning the sages to the wall. Everyone of them slumped to the floor, save for Kaepora who just had to stretch his wings and shake his head left and right.

* * *

"Are you all OK?" Link asked. Navi finally took a peak out of Link's hat to see if this truly was all over. "You all helped me immeasurably. Much more than you may think."

"I wish." Saria choked from being forced into silence as she stood. "We didn't know Ganondorf could do that! You were up there going all out… I was as useful as a chocolate teapot."

"Don't deprecate yourself, little one." Nabooru flexibly curled herself into a standing position. "You fought the great King of Evil. The man who committed various atrocities against his kingdom. Even opposing him is considered infinitely braver than him."

"All of us played our part in this battle." Impa continued on. "Now, would you mind returning my weapon, Hero of Time?" Link glanced at Impa's Katana that he held in his right hand and switched its sage energy off with another flick of the button on its side. Then he spun it in his hand and allowed Impa to take it. "Now, let's see if we can get Zelda down and break the crystal that binds her.

A sudden screech coughed from the pile of organ parts as a hand parted them. All of the sages and Link ignited their weapons again as they watched Ganondorf clamber out not only harmless but also armless. His teeth clacked together in a spasm of rage and he toppled onto his side, forgetting he now lacked an arm. From the laboured, loud way he was breathing, he was clearly on death's doorstep.

" **The… The most powerful monarch… Hyrule ever had… defeated? By… By this… KID?!"** Everyone recoiled as Ganondorf wretched sickeningly and spewed large amounts of wine red blood on the carpet after the damage to his food pipe, stomach and duodenum caught up with him. " **Link** … **!** " The man rasped hoarsely in a tone that sounded like he was begging for help, but his eyes narrowed and reddened unnaturally. He utilised part of what he had left to bring his relieved arm to him, using the same power he had exploited to keep the sages from interrupting his duel with Link, and the limb reattached seamlessly to his shoulder. With everything he had left, he let out a scream of unrelenting force.

" **HaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

With its volume, it managed to shake the whole castle, fracturing its foundations and instantly vapourising the windows. It was as if they were made of dust. No sooner than that, the walls that supported the windows vanished with them. It tore up the entire carpet and sent the remains of his pipe organ flying off into the distance.

It was only when the entire castle had been charred black by his ferocity and when the room he stood in had been relieved of its walls and ceiling did Ganondorf stop. With all of his conscious energy used up, he sank to his knees, his face blank and then thumped onto the floor, flat on his face.

* * *

A loud shattering noise caught Link's attention. He turned.

There she was.

Slumped against where the pipe organ had once been. At first glance, Link had thought his eyes were deceiving him, but no.

Zelda.

"Zelda?" Navi chirped, emerging from her usual spot, "Link, she's alive!"

Her partner ran over to her, panting worriedly. He worried that he was going to start losing her, but the princess pulled herself up and dizzily stumbled towards her hero, awkwardly falling into his arms.

"Zelda!" Link panted, holding her tight. He examined her for any injuries she may have sustained in her short stay at Ganondorf's tower, but the woman lifted her head and shook it.

"The only way he hurt me was through the damage he lay on our kingdom." she claimed. She looked over at the collapsed tyrant. "Ganondorf… Pitiful man." she venomously spat out. "Without the possession of a strong, righteous mind, he could not harness the God's power.

Link nodded and offered the princess his hand, which she took in a hard grip. "He kept demanding the Triforce earlier. That's why he took you."

Navi absorbed what Zelda called Ganondorf a few moments after it was said. "Pardon the interruption, your majesty… but what did you call him? How was he pitiful? He deserved all of what he got."

"I hate him, Navi." Link told her, looking scornfully at his enemy, "for what he did to the Great Deku Tree. The Great Deku Tree AND Hyrule. And for stealing my childhood and dreams… So of course I wanted to get my revenge. But, try or try not to, I can't help but understand where all of his hatred came from."

"So that is your fight." Navi turned thoughtfully green. "I will never forgive all that he has done, yet your words ring true. Let's get out of here now."

Zelda smiled at the fairy. "Yes. Let's get us all out."

The princess opened her mouth to call to the sages, who were all waiting for her instructions, but the tower juddered violently just as she was about to call. Everyone gasped and looked at where Ganondorf was.

Or maybe, 'had been' is a more appropriate term. His body was gone from the floor. It had left them all to die with it and the castle.

" **Everybody!** " Darunia shouted, already beginning to run away, " **RUN FOR IT!** "

Everyone got up and ran but Link, despite the numerous minor injuries he sustained, led the charge as well as Zelda. He led everyone down a path that wrapped around the side of the castle. The moment they all reached it, it began to fall away.

 **BOOM! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOOOOM!**

The view from the top was much more desolate and bleak than what the stained glass windows had made it out to be on the way up. Despite the loss of all its colour, Link could still see the dangerous red it held. Maybe that was from the fact that random explosions in the building were launching flaming debris into the air and it was raining back onto the party.

The pathway finally ended on a balcony. "There's the way in!" Saria called indicating a hole in the wall that had been covered by thick, impenetrable vines. The girl stood in front of them and bought her fingers into a triangle shape. A green ball shone in the triangular gap her fingers made and in an instant, the vines shrank into the ground. "Everybody in!"

But suddenly, the balcony gave away as well. The party all screamed as they plummeted and both their army and Ganondorf's army stopped fighting to look in horror.

Scared for his life or not, Link kept both his arms around the princess and made sure he was below her, making sure she would at least come out of this alive. Ganondorf was gone, so Link was now relieved of his duties and could use his life as he pleased. If anything, he was going to keep Princess Zelda save with it.

He braced for impact, ready to hear his body breaking from the fall, but he instead felt himself slowing down as well as a cool breeze brushing against it. Zelda's hair shot upwards as she fell too and the pair found themselves slowing.

When they reached the floor, Link looked up to see a familiar, feathery face looking benevolently down on him.

"Kaepora… How did you…?"

"Updrafts, my friend, updrafts!" the bird crooned, sounding a bit proud of himself, "When you're a bird of my size, you learn to utilise this skill at a very young age!"

The rest of the sages used the updraft to land themselves and then everyone, monsters and men alike, stopped their brawl to watch the spectacular display that was Ganondorf's castle collapsing in on itself.

A fire had broken out on the wall out of a window and the stash of explosives that were being kept at the bottom of the tower were detonated, spewing bricks everywhere with a thunderous **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!** The sound took a while to reach the onlookers but when it did, it bowled the armies over as if they were helpless skittles in a savage bowling alley. Right then and there, the tower sank into itself like it was built on top of quicksand, descending as if it were lowering itself into a secret underground passage. Shards of glass pelted everyone and, despite blocking as best they could, most people present obtained several cuts.

When the building fully hit the floor, it all squished and moulded into an unrecognisable pile of rocks and rubble like it was just a massive tent all along.

…

…

…

When the dust settled, Ganondorf's army ignored whoever had been fighting and began to sprint to the wreckage in desperation to check on their master.

" **Changamire!** "A Moblin called for his boss as he and the others ran over the rainbow bridge the sages had conjured. When they all reached the other side, Moblins, Iron Knuckles, Lizalfos and others all began throwing pieces of the castle all over the place to try and find Ganondorf, all shouting and calling his name.

"So, it's over." Zelda said breathlessly, "It's finally over."

Darunia uncurled from the crater he left in the floor, who had been much too heavy to be slowed via updraft. "Yep! That old Kauz got just what he deserved!"

Link reached down and helped up Zelda, who staggered at first and had to hold onto him. Navi's colour mellowed, but then turned a guilty yellow. "Link… I'm sorry I didn't do anything to help during that fight!"

"It's… all right, Navi." Link reassured as Zelda slowly got her bearings, "In fact, it's good that you stayed safe. I couldn't have risked Ganondorf killing you."

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

A tremor in the ground cut off the conversation and Link stuck his arm out to the side in front of Zelda. The monsters that were searching for Ganondorf stopped what they were doing, pinpointing the sound to a huge pile of girders and spikes in the middle of the stalactite the castle used to sit on.

"What was that sound?" Ruto said apprehensively to no one in particular.

"I don't know," Nabooru answered calmly. Despite her tone, she drew her swords again and lit them up. "but I think the strength of the Triforce of Power is more than we ever thought."

"Everyone, stay behind me." Link ordered, "You too, Navi. I'm going to investigate."

One of the men in Link's army called out to him as he set foot on the rainbow bridge. "Hey! Do you need any backup, Hero of Time?"

Link turned around to answer him, keeping his voice calm. "Your fight was against enemies of your status, mortal to your normal weapons. Mine… is a fight against a demigod that can shrug off a whole army, only weak against the full power of the Master Sword."

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."_


	63. I Vow To Thee My Country

**FOOOOOOM!**

A massive wall of fire shot from the ground and circled the floating island. Link felt the fire against his back, even though he was now several feet away from it. It was too hot for even one as fire-resistant as Darunia to cut through.

As was the case with Ganondorf, Link was cut off from the sages.

The singular pile of debris in the middle of the arena began to shake violently. Not even caring about sending his own army flying from his entrance, Ganondorf exploded from the wreckage. His breath was thin and raspy, yet loud and filled with rage like a boiling kettle. His eyes a pure, burning gold, he used the full might of the Triforce of Power, overcome with hatred, to surround himself in a blue-white aura. His limbs and torso grew as if they were being inflated with air and monstrous tusks erupted from the sides of his mouth. Before Link could grasp what he was looking at, it smashed to the floor, scattering his army, who had been frantically searching for him, all over the place. Two swords, forged from pure gold, grew into his hands as if they were a part of him.

The creature stomped its hoof on the floor and dragged it, letting out an all-consuming shriek. Ganondorf was no longer human. Instead, Link had just witnessed the birth of Hyrule's blight. The birth of a being so consumed by a desire for power that he had lost any trace of his former self. He was so far beyond the point of malice that he could no longer be reasoned with. He was now a force of nature. A mindless beast.

 **GANON.**

"I won't spend this battle cowering under your hat!" Navi declared, "This time, we fight together!"

That was all she could get out before a streak of gold almost took Link's head off. He rolled away from it and just barely managed to go underneath. The Master Sword didn't, however.

Link felt his arm numbing from the strike Ganon had landed on his sword and then he could no longer even feel his weapon. He could hear it buzzing through the air and landing with a crash outside the ring of flames.

Link couldn't even get any time in to process, since Ganon attacked again with its other sword. Link pulled the Megaton Hammer into his hands and leaped back, but Ganon chased him back to the fiery wall.

The battle ring was dimly lit only by the lightning that crawled across the otherwise black sky. Even then, Link couldn't even see who he was fighting other than two white, beady eyes narrowing and shaking furiously. Ganon hacked downwards again…

 **CLANNNNNNNG!**

The Megaton Hammer blocked the brunt of Ganon's fury and sent the pig monster recoiling back. Screaming, Link went in for a hit. The Megaton Hammer crushed one of its hooves.

" **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** "

Taking advantage of his enemy's predicament, Link put away the hammer and drew his bow. The arrow at the end, due to Zelda's magic back in the Temple of Time, burst into golden, piercing light. It could be seen being loosed from all the way at the market. Flashing with an almighty sense of justice, it burrowed into Ganon's multicoloured, spiked tail. At impact, the beast let out a shriek as the clashing light entered its body, trying to shut it down.

It should have killed it instantly.

It would have killed any other living thing with a dark heart several hundred times over.

Ganon still had possession of the Triforce of Power by some kind of divine prank, so all it did was knock it over, swords planted in the soil firmly, like particularly sharp trees. Link seized his chance and screamed, ready to smash Ganon's face in with the Megaton Hammer...

"Link!"

...stopping when he heard Ruto's voice behind him. Torrential water was gushing from her hands and into the ring of torrential fire that separated the sages from Link. She had been doing it since it appeared, but her efforts only bore fruit now.

"Link, the Master Sword!" Zelda cried out. After the holy weapon had been knocked away, it had gotten itself jammed tight into the floor as if it had found purchase back in its pedestal. Darunia had started a chain of sages to try and get it out, with Saria, Impa, Nabooru and even Kaepora joining in. Even with all the brute strength, the legend hadn't changed. Only Link could draw the sword.

And that's just what he did. In mere moments, using almost none of his strength, he tore the Master Sword out from the floor.

 **BVVVVVWOM!**

Behind him, he could hear dust fleeing in terror from Ganon, who only got more and more unhinged with every time Link outsmarted it.

Zelda balled her fist, showing no signs of fear as Ganon barrelled towards the pair. "Go! Destroy Ganon with the sacred sword you wield, Link! Finish it!"

The darker Ganondorf's heart became, the more effective holy weapons were against him.

By turning into Ganon, the darkness had effectively killed him. Taken him over. If it were hit with the Master Sword, the match was over.

It was like David and Goliath coming back for round two. As Ganon roared like a tormented banshee, Link spewed Din's Fire from both hands as provocation and flipped off a broken piece of watchtower nearby, meeting Ganon's assault with one of his own.

In one quarter of a millisecond, the Master Sword had cleaved Ganon's weapon in half, as with his tail. A fountain of crimson sprayed everywhere like the malfunctioning exit to a high-pressure waterslide, making it look like Link was wearing the Goron tunic he had donned for the Fire Temple. Ganon's scream choked on itself. Its eyes twitched with unrivalled, cataclysmic fury. Tailless, it spun to face Link, booting up more dust as it raised its remaining sword…

Navi darted into the air, screaming angrily, red with her fury. She thought of all Ganondorf had tried to do to kill her best friend and partner, just because he was in the way… The mere picture of it made her flash so brightly that she sent more red around the arena than all that was sprayed in the war zone earlier. The brightness made Ganon falter, backing into the sharp spire of a watchtower's ruins. The metal pierced its flesh, disabling a muscle in his leg.

As the barrier of flames died out yet again, Zelda held out her hands in the shape of a triangle, aiming a gold pillar of biting light into Ganon's system. Ganon was forced to lay helpless in its castle's ruins as the light began shutting its body down.

"I'm going to use the rest of my power to hold the evil king down, Link!" she called to Link. The other sages formed triangles from their own hands as well, preparing to do their part that followed after Zelda's. "You use the Master Sword! Strike it down! Finish it off!"

Link felt like he was about to wake up from a dream and be thoroughly disappointed at this moment. His heart hammered, pumping more blood through his system than what was covering his tunic. His skin bled sweat, soaking his hair and weighing it down. The Master Sword's golden glow matched with Zelda's rays of paralysing light perfectly. This was it. The moment he'd been waiting for. The moment his mother and father and so many others had tried to accomplish, only to pay with their blood.

Ganon watched as Link's sword dropped down, flashing down his face and biting its flesh with the power it held.

 **TSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWOM!**

Another swing took its vision, leaving it to only its thoughts and sounds.

 **WWWWWWWWWWWWWVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAM!**

Not being able to see where it was being attacked, Ganon couldn't dodge the next attack, which shattered the power jewel on his head. Finally powerless, Ganon's breath grew scratchy and almost pitiful, but it was silenced as the Master Sword was rammed down its throat.

…

…

…

All was still, albeit covered in massive amounts of blood. Zelda's powerful, terrific voice broke the deafening silence. "Sages! Now!"

" **ANCIENT CREATORS OF HYRULE!** " Kaepora pressed his wings together. He began to shine gold. The other sages began glowing their own signature colours. " **Open the sealed door and send the incarnation of evil into the void he created himself! The evil realm!** "

With the owl's last words, all the sages shared the strength of their prayers with each other, creating a white void that swallowed the darkness in the sky. Pieces of Ganon's corrupted castle began floating into the air and into the portal. As if being abducted by a UFO, Ganon's limp body was dragged upwards, where it disappeared. There, it shrank and shrank and shrank, shedding all of its injuries, but regaining something.

Its humanity.

His eyes almost bursting from his skull, his mouth agape with wrath, Ganondorf spun into the lifeless dimension all by himself. Nothing to keep him company but the remains of the castle he had spent the past seven years of his life living in.

" **CURSE… YOU… ZELDA!** " he bellowed in disbelief, " **CURSE… YOU… SAGES! CURSE… YOU… LINK!** " The fog of the desolate land began to consume him, wiping out his tyranny. " **SOME DAY, WHEN THIS SEAL IS INEVITABLY BROKEN… I SHALL RETURN! I SHALL EXTERMINATE… YOUR… DESCENDENTS!** "

With each of the last three words he spat out, the white temporarily changed. It changed to several misty pictures in quick succession.

\- The first was a translucent Zora in a purple dress, playing a harp next to a younger girl. This girl seemed like a completely different species. She wore a navy blue dress, had long, brown hair, had a duck's upper beak in place of a nose and her skin was pale as if she had never been outside. She, too, was playing a harp with grace and apparent position.

\- The spirit of a Kokiri boy with blonde hair, holding a violin over his shoulder and sliding a wooden bow across the strings. He was playing with a little animal, whose body appeared to be made of wood, and his face was masked by what appeared to be a leaf with eye and mouth holes cut into it.

\- A child with the same clothes Link wore, blonde hair and a sword with a familiar, blue hilt and a well-known glow. The emblem of the Triforce of Courage shone proudly on his left hand as he prepared to jump into battle.

This was the only glimpse of the future given by the benevolence of the chaos. It returned to white and the screaming king's voice cut off into nothing.

* * *

When Link was certain that all was over, he opened his eyes.

He was not where he remembered standing a few moments ago. There was no darkness. No clouds. No lightning. No Ganon.

He didn't even appear to be on the planet any more. He stood in ankle-depth water that he could see through. Despite this, there was no floor. He just stood slightly under the surface as a serene void of clouds expanded indefinitely below him. It was like a more relaxing take on where he had fought Dark Link.

He was not alone. Luckily for him, Navi continued to fly above his head as she always did. Not only that, Zelda was there in front of him, smiling wearily and gratefully.

"Zelda? Where are we?"

"The Sacred Realm. We did it, Link. No, **you** did it. You sealed Ganondorf in the Evil Realm! Thus, peace will thrive in this world once again… for a time."

Link thought on what she said, but then he felt like something from her statement was missing. "Me? Only me? I… just dealt the final hit. You were the one who froze him… The sages were the ones that sealed him. Why would I be the only one who won?"

"Because..." Zelda placed a hand on her racing heart and her face darkened with sorrow. "...all the tragedy that has befallen Hyrule was my doing... I was so young… I could not comprehend the consequences of trying to control the Sacred Realm. I dragged you into it, too. Because of me, you lost several years of your life… I am so sorry!"

Link looked at Navi and recoiled a little at what he just heard. He wanted to cut in. He wanted to tell Zelda she was wrong. He really did, but to do so would have been misinformation. He didn't want to admit it, but the woman had a point. Maybe, instead of making a big, complicated plan like this, she could have simply tried to convince her father…

" _But he didn't believe her in the first place."_ Link felt a small bit of resentment for the seven years of life he missed, but he felt it wash over him. Was this what peace felt like?

Smiling softly, he enveloped Zelda's cowering form, patting her back lightly. "There, there. Don't worry about it. I forgive you."

"Wh-what?"

"It's only a few years. That's not too many. I can just… make the most out of what I have, right?"

Zelda looked up at Link, stepping back from his gentle embrace, her dress elegantly skimming the water. "I'll never forgive myself, knowing I took seven years from your life… Link, it is time for me to make up for my mistakes. Time to to bestow upon you… one final job." She extended one of her hands. "You must give me back the Ocarina of Time to prevent its misuse. I shall use its power to send you back in time. Back to make up for your lost time on earth."

Link felt dread clouding in his stomach. He felt that feeling that one would experience when they lost track of their parents in a crowded place as a child. He quickly stepped back. "Why do you feel so guilty about it? I, for one, didn't know any more about the situation than you did. No more. I gave my life… Not for honour, but for Hyrule! I did it because I l-"

"I plead of you!" Zelda's hand rose further. "Please return the Ocarina to me. Don't make this any harder for us than it already is. Seven years ago is your home. Home. Where you are supposed to be."

Link looked below himself, looking for any trace of land. He just saw an endless, waterless sea of blue and clouds. "But… what will happen to us?"

"We may be separated… but you will be with me as I was when we first met. She may not remember you… but you will. You will remember me, and all of us, as we will remember you, right?"

Link forced a smile. "Of course I will."

"Then give me the Ocarina of Time and let me immortalise you."

Link found a lump in his throat as he took out the shining Ocarina of Time, but he looked at it and handed it to Zelda. She rested her silk-gloved hand over his gauntleted one for a moment as she let a lone tear slip, but she fought her sorrow, bringing the sacred instrument to her lips and playing one last song.

Her childhood lullaby. The same one that Impa had taught the man that stood before her. Link wanted it to last forever and ever, even if he had to give up seven years of his life to do so.

Zelda continued to play, but the notes began to ring from her voice heaving, seeing what it did to Link. He became fainter and fainter, as if transforming into a ghost before her eyes. The last thing she felt from him were his arms circling her, their warmth decreasing before turning into a cold chill. The last she saw of him was the faint outline of his smile.

Then he was gone.

* * *

At the end of the war, thousands of people were dead and thousands more were homeless, the Hyrulean economy had almost collapsed, and much of the Hyrulean industrial infrastructure had been destroyed.

More than a quarter of its national wealth had been consumed. Until the introduction of Midrule Aid from the eponymous country, Midrule, Hyrule had been spending its assets to purchase foreign equipment including cannons and over 437 million rupees were spent on house repairs alone. Midrule Aid came just before its reserves were exhausted, however.

And five years later, a new settlement was being built where Castle Town used to be. It didn't have all the bells and whistles that Castle Town had but it was a start. They had around a dozen buildings, a fountain and a bandstand so far and the sun shone over it for the first time in what was now twelve years.

At this time, Zelda held a speech in the bandstand for those who gave their lives in the war. She, as well as every attendee, was dressed head to toe in black robes as she droned rather monotonously but meaningfully through paragraphs and paragraphs of papers and hymns.

Everyone had come to listen to the princess. When I say everyone I do mean everyone. The town was crammed with people like sardines in a can. Those who couldn't get far enough in listened to the service outside through a second spokesperson. The ones who couldn't get close enough to that one listened to that via a third spokesperson. Some unlikely guests made it as well, such as Clayton, the foreman of the Ice Cavern.

"Now, let us open our hymn book to page 325. We shall honour those who have fallen with a song. Impa, the music for 'I Vow To Thee My Country', please."

With that, Impa lay her fingers down on a repaired, multi-layered organ that Ganondorf used to own and began playing. When the correct time came, all the attendees took a breath and began to sing.

" **I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above. Entire, whole and perfect, the service of my love; The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test... that lays above the alter, the dearest and best...** "

* * *

All was not dreary and serious, though. On that same day, Lon Lon Ranch lit a big bonfire in one of their open fields and invited everyone they could to chin up with a big bash, celebrating their newfound freedom. Malon offered rides on the horses to customers, Ingo was willingly put in charge of serving food and Talon? Well, he… was probably dozing off somewhere, right?

Wrong. He was in charge of conducting the band that played happy, energetic music in the cow shed. That place had really good acoustics, but… the smell was a bit rank.

As the music pounded from outside, Malon watched a young boy, about ten years old, clatter into the horse paddock on a chestnut horse with a white mane.

The horse was Epona and the boy had been part of her honorary family for five years now. She had found him wondering the crop fields to scavenge anything he could find before collapsing from exhaustion. Malon carried him all the way to the ranch and Talon had offered him a place to stay until he could get back on his feet.

Turns out the kid, who was referred to as Jack, was a big help around the farm. He was a whizz with work. One time, Malon, her father and Ingo got up at six in the morning for work, only to find that he had done it all himself. Malon took it upon herself to raise the guy as family. When he reached the age of ten… he reminded her of someone she had met as a child. In fact, when he turned ten, she gave him a green tunic, hat and brown boots as her present.

"Did you have fun?" Malon asked Jack. He held onto her as she gently lifted him down from the horse.

"Of course!" the lad responded, looking up at his honorary sister with big, gleaming eyes, "Even if she was just walking with me the whole way, I would have had fun! No, if I had to untangle her mane, I would have had fun! Anything involving her is going to be fun when she belonged to the legendary Hero of Time!"

"Yeah! Oh, you should have been around to see him!" Malon said excitedly, happy at the boy's enthusiasm for her old friend, "My father bought him in ages ago and he protected me from a thief! He truly was the blessing of the gods."

"I **WISH** I could have met him! He sounds ace!"

"So do I." Malon replied, "And he was. He saved my life. Twice. I haven't seen him in… I think five years now. I don't know where he's gone… but I trust he's all right."

"I'm sure of it!" Jack hugged Malon tightly. "Let's go to the bonfire with everyone else!"

With all of that done, the woman led Epona into the barn and took Jack to where everyone else was. Yes, she missed Link a lot, but looking upon her honorary brother bought back memories. The good, the bad, the best, all of them.

* * *

 _ **Quote of the Day:**_

* * *

 _"_ _So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good._ _"_


	64. Epilogue: Gone

_**Epilogue:**_

* * *

The boy opened his eyes, which swam with colour, and felt his bare hands and legs. He looked upwards at what his hands came free from.

The Master Sword. Being relieved of its duties also relieved it of its golden glow and therefore, it's power, unless it were needed again. It had transferred its energy into its pedestal. It was now just as magical as a knife in a slab of butter or a jam scone. The only thing the Master Sword shone with was the light from the nearby window. For the first time in forever, he felt refreshed. He was a child again, seven extra years added onto his life. He could go back to his peaceful ways of life and, best of all, he knew what was to come in the future.

Now, that would usually be a bad thing, but Link had a plan. He was going to go back to Hyrule Castle and warn the young princess of the calamitous future that lay ahead. When Ganondorf did attack, everyone would be ready for him this time. He and Navi would tell them together.

"Navi?" the boy gingerly whispered in the voice he never thought he'd miss. He looked around the cathedral for any sign of his friend. His happy feeling was starting to turn into the feeling of getting lost, especially when he removed his hat and still didn't hear that familiar jingling of wings. "Where are you? Navi?"

 **Tink!**

A sound bought Link's attention to the window that cast light onto his old sword. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the light's glare, but he saw a familiar, blue light moving up to the glass. It had a pair of wings attached to its back and little specks fell from it and to the floor. There she was! Link's heart settled for a brief second, but then it spiked with dread. He realised what was happening.

"Navi! Where are… Where are you going?"

He knew exactly where she was going, he just didn't want to believe it. Navi only came to him because he needed a guide for his destiny. Now that this was fulfilled…

"Navi, please! Stay with me! I can't- I'm..."

He reached out on impulse towards the window, his vision glaring with sickly multicolours at the edges like a 3D video being watched without glasses, but his friend, his partner, his Navi, phased through the glass and into the open, never to be seen again.

…

Link stood, lost and confused, staring up at where he watched Navi disappear. His hand didn't drop. His eyes didn't blink. His lips managed to squeeze something out, though.

"You were the only one who understood… Thank you, Navi..."

Then, more lost than a blind and deaf person in a labyrinth, he sank to his knees and bowed his head alone. The whole temple seemed to disappear around him, leaving him sitting in mental blankness. No one ever seemed to enter the Temple of Time any more. No one had a chance to witness what he had lost that day. He was alone.

That is, until he saw a pink flash briefly try to catch his attention. Then, he heard a high, soft voice from outside the window.

"Link… I love you… Bye..."

It may have been goodbye, but a goodbye needn't be forever. This one was no exception, he hoped.

Climbing to his feet, he left the Master Sword to its own devices and exited the chamber. By extension, he also left the cathedral that was the Temple of Time behind.

One last time, Navi the fairy popped back in through the window to see her friend, but he was long gone. She felt a slight hint of grey regret, but she pushed it down, turning back to blue. "Link, you were like a brother to me… I'm sorry."

* * *

The Princess awoke from her seat at the courtyard window, sweating buckets and panting, feeling gasping for a drink. She just had two of the most frightening nightmares, both of which involved the suspicious, armoured man that bowed to her father, narrowing his yellow eyes and grinning knowingly.

One of them involved an eccentric man in a strange mask, plunging separate areas of Hyrule into complete darkness. Frightening, mangled monsters wearing black shields on their faces spilled out of the black and gold walls, chasing the ghosts of civilians and then leaping straight at the dream's point of view.

The next was of a torrential rain flooding Hyrule, burying citizens beneath an endless ocean and only leaving mountaintops poking from the top. All the survivors were blissfully unaware of the cataclysm they lived on. It was as if they thought they were living on cosy little islands. The only good part was the end, where someone who was clearly Ganondorf got the Triforce stolen away from him by a man who looked suspiciously like her father, who promptly sent millions of tonnes of water crashing onto him.

"Oh, father, why won't you listen to what I tell you?" Zelda asked, knowing that her father wouldn't hear her through the castle's thick walls. "The man you are accepting allegiance from is-"

"Evil!"

Zelda jumped, turning to see… a boy behind her. She had never met him before, yet an image of him was burned into her brain. She could even see the image of an older person in similar clothes when she looked at him.

She said nothing, because the look this child carried spoke massively deeper than words. He looked like a war veteran who had lost everything and everyone close to him. He looked desperate, as if he'd just lost his closest friend to the horrors of war. Zelda looked between him and Ganondorf. She then nodded quickly, asking him to repeat.

"That man… is evil! He will cause the decline of your kingdom..." Link gibbered and stuttered as his words clumsily tumbled out. Trying to grasp the time, he took a look at the calendar next to Zelda. It was the same day and year that he had first talked to the girl before him. "Tomorrow! He's going to attack!"

"H-how do you know this?"

"Let's just say… I know you, Zelda. I've been to the future. The Master Sword! It showed me the end!"

"You know… me?" Zelda stammered. She looked at him, remembering all her dreams featuring a person wearing the same clothes. This was no ordinary boy.

A woman with the grace of a dancer and the looks of a ninja leaped from one of the castle's towers, landing between Link and Zelda with a thud. "Princess, I would listen to this young man if I were you." she said reassuringly. "He seems to have accessed the Master Sword and seen something no one ever should have to."

"Very well." Zelda clasped her hands together and bowed to the woman. "Young one, I do not know who you are, but your eyes tell me everything. We shall have the guards secretly keep Ganondorf in close scrutiny. Now tell me, what is your name?"

* * *

It was done.

The deed was done.

It was now a few days after Link's destiny was fulfilled. Right on cue, Ganondorf had launched an attack on Hyrule. This time, since everyone was ready for him, he was subdued instantly, was tried, and sentenced to execution in a prison that lay deep within Gerudo Desert.

Link had been held in very high regard for his aid in the great criminal's arrest. A great big feast was held in his honour and he was given a hefty reward. He had gone back to the forest to countless hugs and words of congratulations by the Kokiri, even Mido. He had been dying to see all of them, every single one of them, since he purified the temple that lay deep in the forest, but… he didn't readjust to his normal lifestyle. Not even when all the Kokiri tried to collectively cheer him up. He was a broken boy. Even as a late teenager, he was still essentially a child in a grown body who had seen the horrors of conflict break right before his eyes. He had seen his childhood home driven to a land of dinosaurs and jungles. He had seen the only person who understood him perfectly… disappear right in front of him.

No matter what, his innocence was never going to return, no matter how badly he wanted it to. In fact, for a whole year, he would wander the Lost Woods in vain in search of Navi. He looked for hours on end, only stopping when Saria came looking for him. it was only when he heard of the sighting of fairies in the Lost Woods did he decide to borrow Epona from Malon and ride her deep into the place, following any sign of lights deeper and deeper and deeper until he ended up in a completely uncharted area of it.

One night, he got off his horse's back and set up camp inside a hollowed tree. With no one else to talk to, he looked at Epona, hugging her neck tight. The little mare lowered her head and rested it on his shoulder, returning his hug. Still looking for some sign that Navi was still out there, he thought to himself.

 _So, here I am. The most recognisable face in all of Hyrule. Who'd have thought that? Huh, not me. I guess you know why I emote like a blank, plain stone now. And yep, I may be famous, I may have all the money I have ever had and all the fame, and all that... But you know, I don't really think I want it. I just wanna find Navi, and, I don't know, live the rest of our lives together like the rest of my peers. Hmmm. It's not gonna happen. It's true what they say, "The grass is always greener, and you don't really know what it is you have, until it's gone."_

 _Gone._

 _Gone._

* * *

 _ **END**_


End file.
